Other Side

Just stuff that isn't completely about my skateboarding....

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Your Time Is Not Yours

In the everblack Or is this just a passing thought My time has questionable worth I'm a million and none at once One second of joy And ten of none Am I enough But enough for what Can a tear explain my hurt Or do I close my eyes And hug the darkness I have no pain, I'm fine (oh I'm fine) Watch me shake and tremble How does it move your heart Not much Not much until I'm dead I cry out to myself No one will save you I shut up because no one will hear you (no one) You're alone in your mind We all will be But death brings community Reflecting on a being Who quit breathing I look and see nothing of meaning Even though life has given me Everything I see the end again She is shining A romantic death She's lying! (you liar) I'm dying (yes) But not yet (no) Step away from your end And let God take you

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Still Breathing

Guess I'm still here Thought life would end a while back But you showed up And I saw what I lacked Love is funny It was gone for me And I was nothing But now I'm someone's honey I guess I'll stay around Life had no meaning I was just here waiting to die But you gave me one more sigh A sigh of relief I guess I'll stay for a bit Maybe, for all of it Seeing that we're a good fit No more blood pours from my veins You closed the wound in my soul Nothing feels the same And I want to give you my last name I live for you now You're my breath My blood You're all I have left

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

And when we think life is done We give a sigh that it's over And we think life's breath is gone But my half closed eyes see the sun Don't call it quits I have breath Let me choke Let me breathe There's air in all of this

Here comes my death I see the myth You're alive Through all my filth To stay stray I'd kill To be away From all of you And myself I die Let truth set Don't lie I'm fine Dead Good bye Good bye

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Another

Another meaningless poem Can we call it that? Here we ago again With nothing thought provoking Just another read I'm just typing about my sadness Let's be honest as a reader This means nothing What are you sad about? I honestly don't know Maybe I just think it's cool I'll remember that in the pool Will I though? I think it's over

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Some End

Do I cry for an end Or do I pray for one They feel the same to me And I feel nothing came to save me And with that I feel alone Maybe I'm not But this knife is closer Close enough to open up possibilities An opportunity to give freedom For me to see a release For me to smile With blood between my teeth Is this life poetic or stale Do these words sound clear Will we find a way to find cheer Or do we inhale all the water from the pier My lungs filled with water Nothing else worth meaning I'll sink and inhale Watch me drown with silent shouts My eyes wide open I convulse I look for the last bit of safety And then there's the death of my body And then I'm nothing

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Watch This Us Me Everyone Fall Sometimes I feel your words are worthless Then I see my words mean nothing How easy is it to watch me choke on words Words that give no life to something of meaning Can we smile and cry Can this be enough? Is this enough? Lets laugh at my death Scream at my existence Scream at my life Scream at this life As I waste breath Gosh I wish this was nothing. I wish I choked on the present, I wish there was more I hope we'll find something

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

This is Ending

I'm strolling on death land Life is laughing and it's choking Is this real or am I dying You giggle and I'm giggling Is death a joke My final laugh Here we go Fuck I'm so broke I have nothing for you I have nothing of worth I'm begging for a worth of something How do I bleed for something that's not cut? Do we end this seemingly fake trust? Will my tears fill the open aquarium It won't close until the lying fish die So there's nothing but for us all to lie Kill me I say sobriety But it's only me Leave me, I'm nothing

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

This Joke

I guess all of this is a joke I've never wanted to die The cuts are for show Even the ones you don't know My imagination is wild I suppose we'll forget The repeating image of me jumping From the building on Mesa For years I didn't know it was a lie Well, when you don't act You become a bluff But I want to be saved rather than proving you wrong Maybe I'm taking too long Maybe this is all talk My bleeding wrists and my tears Are all fake, I'm fake, this is for show You all get mad because I talk so much But no deathly action Do I need to bleed in front of you? Do I need to let you watch me? Watch me as I clean my skin Clean the knife Cut deep enough For me to think I'm enough But this is all fake All the blood I spill alone Is just for me to create a drama A drama I want for entertainment That's been my goal For 17 years To cause nothing But a joke

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Free To Cross The Street

I want to run down the street But I always just cross it The police take me in And the doctors ask if I wanna run down it I convince them I didn't mean to cross the street They patch the lane where I crossed But they keep me So I don't run down the road Nurse comes in... Do you want to run down? Well, will you chase me? We will if we have to. Then no, just know I'm okay. Do you believe me nurse? No. No one does but legally you're free to go.

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Watch Me Lie And die

I'll fool you I'm okay I'll bleed from the throat But I'll show you this blood is fake I'll smile as I gag I'm okay Walk away Ignore me (I'm dying) Don't you see I'm going to die And it's okay These deep cuts are my good-bye I see death soon I love you This is good-bye This is our good-bye

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Addicted To Death

I cry for an empty fridge But I find relief to find that drink The one that makes me happy Just to pray for death at the end of the night Never again I say with hatred Tomorrow I buy with a convinced lie I shake as I pay I hate this day but it'll be okay with this drink I'm calm, but I become angered I chug and drown the hate But I'm running low I start to sob It's too late to buy more I hate everything Fuck you Fuck Everything I drive to find peace I have two more hours To kill myself This place will do I run the tab with a fake personality I'll fool you Give me that drink Give me that fucking drink I smile and laugh I'm okay Run me empty until 2am The night is done And now I start again in the morning I'm lost and empty I'll find a way once I get that drink I don't want to do this again I'm drinking again Everything is okay for now But my death will come quick To the grave I will bow. Oh God I'm gone I'm done, I'm dead now I look at my grave and I say Is this where I get down and I lay?

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Infinite End

The blood seeps through my teeth I'm smiling faking my inner peace Watch me cough and choke These breaths are my gasps Watch the blood fill my screams See it fill my lungs The blood leaks It escapes, it leaves me Watch me die I look at you with a wondering eye And I cry As my life dances away Empty this body Drain it of life and blood I become nothing I become meaningless I become nothing to what everything thinks is something.

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

I'm trying to figure out a way to die that won't upset anyone.

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Walking With My Dreams

You're next to me You're so close But I act distant Because this is just a dream You're real But I'm a nightmare I sit next to you And I know we're a fantasy You know it too But we have to stick to reality We both had the same dream But I left it And now We're a team Pushing me To be what we both want me to be So one day This dream will be a reality I'm not sure how long you'll wait though And I'm not sure I want any of this Maybe this is all a dream None of this may never be real I guess I'll accomplish something That was only for me For me Without you with me I guess I need to sleep Or finally wake up

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Serving To Be A Slave

I hold the blade to my wrist shaking I can't die after everyone's sacrifice They spend their energy Just to keep mine flowing I want to leave, but they don't want me to I can't end anything They always reignite my new beginning for me Without me I have the desire to die But everyone's investments tells me I'll be remembered as more selfish By each gift I'm given if I go I want to bleed I want to fall from a height you can't survive I want to hang and convulse I want to look in the mirror as I die But no one will let me go I'm not allowed I guess I'll serve everyone For what you think I can be I'll stay around and we'll see What you think I can be I'll stay alive and work I'll work on keeping others alive And I guess that includes me.

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

I'm Dead

I want to see our life unfold onto dead strings Can't you see? Our death ain't worth a breath Don't you see me gasping on everything that means nothing Give me a knife I want to cut for a life But each slice bleeds a darker night I'm starting to lose sight Maybe this life is nothing Maybe a joke I only wish death Kill me, please end me This poem seems flat But I promise something Once my heart ends Then my life is over It's obvious Watch me gurgle on the blood As it flows through my throat Scream for my safety I'm dead, I'm dying, give up We'll see If there's a life After this fantasy We'll see passed my death

[jacobwhittskateboarding]

Connected End

Every passing day we die Please see me as something Worth saving Is this how I shrivel into death

I fight for another breath Is this what life is? Watch me cry and choke Is this what sadness does? Give me another life I'm still here Believe me I'm still worth saving Watch my end Kiss my death This is it Watch me as each breath quits We're gone scream good-bye My life is draining Please accept my death