gardenGnostic

jade harley serial number: TM1018 equipped with full Sylladex located on the island of Effluxus

[motherfuckinunder-standing-deac]

♑ — honk. ( intro / open )

[motherfuckinunder-standing-deac]

Gamzee’s attention remained solely on the ocean following the broadcast of his signature ” noise “, to say the least. Nothing had really changed since before he sent the message, why would there? He took life as it came, and with nothing but an ocean to watch, it was doubtful Gamzee would even do anything but that with interventio — … Intervention. Like the sound of his device, with a beep which was obviously meant to inform it’s handler of activity.

text:

honk honk!!! :)

A more focused smile graced Gamzee’s face upon seeing the response. This was actually quite exciting for him, atleast, as exciting as something than be for someone on a constant expectation of miraculous events to occurr. He’d never quite had someone respond to him with the very honks he spouted himself, perhaps it was another follower of his religion. That’d be motherfuckin’ shit right there.

text - reply:

HONK HONK.

An instantaneous response, Gamzee shuffling in his spot momentarily, finding discomfort against the skeleton he sat upon. He still failed to realise this little factor, which really is kind of disrespectful to their bones, but Gamzee still failed to move, even for his own comfort. He was too enticed on the prospect of having a fellow dark carnival member.

text:

what the motherfuck is up my brother? :o)

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade decided to sit down on a log where the jungle met the beginning of the beach and await a reply from this mysterious Honker. She made herself as comfortable as she could get in such a situation. At least she had a nice view of the ocean from where she was! You know, if you overlook the skeletons... 

Sure enough, the cell phone began beeping melodically again a few moments later. And before Jade could even flip it open, it beeped again! Two messages! How exciting! 

text - reply:

HONK HONK.

text:

what the motherfuck is up my brother? :o)

She found herself giggling again, mostly finding herself enjoying the silly smiley face sent by this mysterious person! And more honking! Why did they honk? Jade texted back, wondering what he or she looked like, what their name was, and where they came from!

text - reply:

honk honk!! hehe! i like your smiley face! :D i should tell you that i am not a brother!!  i'm a sister! my name is jade! :) whats your name??

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

It wasn’t that he was calling her a liar. There were just many different kinds of love out there, who was to say that she was necessarily in love with him. Maybe Jade just saw him like a brother, or something. …You know what, lets take that back right this fucking instant. There was absolutely not shit brotherly about his relationship with the Witch of Space. 

You didn’t look at your sister the way he looked at Harley.

Strider could feel the ripple of pleasant surprise as it traveled along her spine, shivers delicious against his belly as he pressed himself further into her. This was what he had been fighting against for so long? What in the hell had he been thinking?

Long digits curled inwards, following the curve of her hip and grazing over her exposed torso courtesy of the girl’s cosmetic makeover, as he slowly guided Jade to turn and face him. There was something that he wanted to do, and he needed a long, hard drink of her presence before he would be able to steel his nerves enough.

What would his Bro do, in this situation? Or Egbert for that matter. Knowing that idiot, he would try and break the ice with one of his stupid jokes. Or rely on that literal cornucopia of knowledge that was his romcom collection and pull some kind of “50 First Dates” shit.

And Bro…hell, his Bro was just so damn cool, there was no way to fathom how he would handle his insane harem of mad bad bitches.

==> Dave: Quit comparing yourself to your insanely dope brother and get your head in the game.

 What was he going to d-

In that moment, it was like all the synapses in Dave’s brain went exploding to life, fireworks of the most delicious variety firing one after another as he completely lost himself in the feeling of her lips against his own. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think, completely caught up in the rapture as he was.

He was kissing Jade Harley. He was kissing Jade fucking Harley.

Want to know something?

Never before in his life had Dave felt as sickgoddamnnasttastic as he did right then.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade became lost then. She became lost in the sensation of Dave's lips and how soft and warm they felt against her own. She was drowning and it was so magnificent. Much to her satisfaction, Jade's thoughts became nothing but a fuzzy mess. She couldn't focus on anything else aside from the fact that she had kissed Dave Strider not once, but twice. 

And here he was, kissing her back. The coolest guy in all of paradox was kissing her ever so endlessly nerdy-self back.

It was like both time and space had frozen. 

Jade ended the kiss a moment later. She tried catching her breath, her cheeks flaring bright red and her heart racing a mile a minute. She cleared her throat, offering a small smile.

"I need you too, Dave," she said, her voice breathy and airy.

"Now let's go build our shelter, okay? It's getting late and this jungle is only supposed to get more dangerous at night."

She didn't know whether she was talking so fast because she was feeling shy and awkward or if she truly wanted to get a move on. Jade figured that once they were safe and sound in a tree house, they could speak of their feelings and what had transpired. She only hoped their friendship wasn't ruined by the romantic tendencies it seemed they both shared.

[motherfuckinunder-standing-deac]

♑ — honk. ( intro / open )

” That’s all for now. Good luck. “

Tick… Tick… Tick. What was that noise, anyway? Probably didn’t matter, although he might have explained it in that video. Shame Gamzee continued to zone in and out during it’s entirety, but he couldn’t help it. Besides the odd mentioning of something ” fun “, ” traps ” and a person named Gabriel, he’d heard little more, and it was all thanks to the vast, clean ocean that stood clear beyond where he sat. He was fixated on it, and here he sat like he once did before, albeit no longer waiting to see if his lusus was returning home to visit him. To a point he even failed to noticed the human corpses that littered the beach he remained on, including the one he was currently seated on.

He didn’t really recall how he got to this island… Nor did he really recall where he was, or what he was doing beforehand. Well, if you blank dragging two corpses off with him as doing something. It never really was in Gamzee’s nature to care about the details. Magic brought him here. A Motherfuckin’ Miracle, brought him here.

After a few moments of silence following the end of Gabriel’s message, the Troll finally snapped out of his trance, glancing down to device he’d found upon his awakening, a carefree smile still plastered to his face. ” Sure motherfuckin thing, bro. ” Gamzee spoke aimlessly. Did the video even end with instruction? Naturally, he didn’t know, and another thing that really didn’t matter. His thumb prodded the small keypad on the device, flicking over the various options of communication offered by it. It reminded him of a weird looking husktop, without the option to troll certain people. Atleast, for now.

text:

… … …

… There wasn’t anything he really wanted to broadcast specifically, really. He was only amusing himself using the device now anyway. Though, there was atleast one thing he could say.

text:

… … … honk.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade, who was making her way through the forest like a modern day, female Tarzan, stopped walking abruptly when she heard the cellphone go off. Someone was trying to make contact, it seemed. She reached and pulled it from in between the fabric of her torn skirt and bare skin. As Jade flipped it open, she wondered if the person sending the text was in need of help. 

text:

… … … honk.

What in the world?

Was this person playing a joke? Were they trolling?

...

Were they a troll?

With a giggle, Jade decided to play along. Her fingers typed on the phone enthusiastically. She was sure that if whomever needed help, they would ask.

text:

honk honk!!! :)

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[princeofpunts-deactivated201206]

Karkat clapped his hands.

“Now we’re finally making a fucking progress here”, he sighed. “What the fuck is going on here, Harley? Is this some shit from your fucked up human world? That little prick made me feel like vomit whales”.

It really smelled like clean sea in there. Funny, seeing how morbid that place was. He unequipped his sickle and started to climb a tree. Maybe he could have a better view from everything from up there.

“Don’t get cocky Harley, but it’s nice to finally meet you”.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade laughed slightly and shrugged, watching carefully as Karkat climbed the tree. She decided to follow him after deducing it was safe enough to climb. It didn't seem as if any traps were up there. 

She sat on a thick branch next to him and smiled widely. 

"When am I ever cocky?!" Jade asked, playfully elbowing Karkat's arm. "It's nice t meet you too, fuckass! Too bad it's under such weird circumstances!"

"Unfortunately I'm not to sure how we got here and why we're here! All I know is what this guy, Gabriel, told me over some video recording! This island is dangerous!"

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

There was no bloody and broken Dave Strider before her, no matter how deeply entrenched in her memories the image might have been. She had no idea how terrible he felt about that day; that what should have been a beautiful, breath-taking moment in time had been tarnished by the coppery taste of blood on her lips.

To be fair, the gesture had been pretty magical for him. You know, in the whole “bringing my back from the fucking cusp of death” kind of way. Even if it had been such a scarring experience, he couldn’t thank her enough for what she had done for him.

She wasn’t the only one that looked like a total moron right then. More than once he had reached just underneath those tinted lenses, squeezing at his eyes and trying to hold back that torrential feeling of stupidity that was threatening to overwhelm him. He had fucked up. Moved way too fast. And now she was seeing past that casual shell of cool.

“It’s not that, Dave. I do like you. A lot. I love you, remember?”

…

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean, Harley.”

She shouldn’t put it in that context if it wasn’t what she was trying to say. There was a pretty heft gap between “like” and “love”, and Jade was threatening to cross a gap over which there was definitely no return. For the second time there was a throb in his chest, heart scratching like he was on his Timetables.

Gaze focused on her back as she leaned against the tree, a single Chuck Taylor stepping towards her before halting mid-stride. Maybe his presence was the last thing she needed, right then. 

Or hell, Strider. Maybe it was exactly what she needed.

“I won’t let it happen again. I told you, this time I’ll be protecting you. Your Knight ain’t going anywhere, Harley.”

The last few words were breathed softly over her ear, a presence suddenly forming at her back as tentative fingers came to hook onto her hipbone. This wasn’t cool indifference at all. No, that had already been melted away by the blazing heat radiating from his core. 

He couldn’t just act like he didn’t care. Not this time.

“It’s alright to be afraid, yo. But don’t run from some shit you…I…shit, we feel.”

“…Fuck. I need you, Harley.”

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade inhaled sharply at his words. 

“Don’t say shit you don’t mean, Harley.”

But she did mean it. Every word. Even the love part -- but if he didn't want to believe her, well that's his decision. Jade scrunched her nose up, pouting slightly. She wasn't a liar. She may have grown up on an island, raised by a dog and the internet, but she knew what her feelings were. 

Another gasp came from Jade as she felt Dave's breath suddenly on her ear. It sent tingles down her spine, fogged up her head, making it hard to even understand a word he was saying. 

She fought her growing blush and listened, almost leaning into the hold he had on her. 

Jade's watery eyes met Dave's shaded ones and she bit her quivering lip.

“It’s alright to be afraid, yo. But don’t run from some shit you…I…shit,we feel.”

“…Fuck. I need you, Harley.”

He... needed her? Dave Strider needed her? 

This was, hands down, one of the most emotionally overwhelming days of her life. 

Jade stared at him, speechless, for a few moments. She was trying to figure out what to do, what to say, that could portray her feelings justly. She needed him, too, in so many ways. 

Be brave, Jade. 

So, she followed her heart and let that fearlessness take over.

Dave is alive.

And as her lips pressed to his warm, soft living ones, she repeated that sentence in her head about a million times.

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

Even with romance staring her right in the face, Jade Harley was as blind as a bat, huh? Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to remove her glasses in that case. Was it a tad bit sad that he had actually wiped them off on his shirt upon taking the spectacles? There was like giant ass rat saliva in the corner. And once again he was getting off subject, let’s get back to the action.

Strider would be a damn lie if he said that he had never wondered what it would be like to kiss the lovely Miss Harley. The thought had always lain dormant somewhere in the back of his head, beneath the piles of dope lyrics and sick beats just waiting to be brought into fruition. Every time that sunshine smile burst his way, the lingering sentiment always remained. Like dew drops after the morning mist.

The tall boy leaned forwards, heels rising from the earth in attempt to deepen the kiss and truly make her his own…

=> Dave: Totally get the rejection of a lifetime.

Ow.

Let’s be honest, the cool guy had not been expecting her to just pull away and one eighty on him like that. She was, for lack of a better term, his biggest fan. From what he knew (meaning how often Egbert dropped it on him sans hotness), she had been crushing on him since like forever.

So what sense did it make that when her knight in chuck taylors finally pulled his head out of his ass, she haul extreme ass away from his feelings? There was all kinds of irony up in here, but the humor was nowhere to be found.

Poker face, Strider.

“Right.”

Guess he would proceed to get his captchaloguing on too, then. It was impossible to tell what was going on behind that blank slate, one hand tucked firmly into his pocket as the young man mindlessly went about the task. No words of anger, or disappointment. Just a cool indifference that seemed to permit through his entire being.

So she didn’t want to take that road with him? Cool.

…Not cool.

“…What do you do when you like someone that doesn’t like you back, Harley?”

“Hypothetically.”

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade didn't want to pull away from him. She felt horrible for doing so. In her heart of hearts, she wanted to stay there and kiss Dave Strider forever. She was just incredibly frightened that if she kissed him for too long, she'd picture kissing his dead body. 

She had to admit that she didn't exactly picture her first kiss as one that would revive Dave Strider from the dead. She always envisioned it to be awkward and magical as first kisses seemed to be. Jade never really thought she'd ever have a first kiss, deep down.

As she continued captchaloguing branches and large leaves, Jade blinked back tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She probably looked like such an idiot, pulling back and walking away like that. Heaven knows she certainly felt like one. She wouldn't blame Dave for never wanting to speak to her again. 

“…What do you do when you like someone that doesn’t like you back, Harley?”

“Hypothetically.”

Jade froze. If she didn't see through that she really would be an idiot. And if it weren't for the rather gloomy situation, she would have taken in the giddy feelings stirring within her.

"It's not that, Dave. I do like you. A lot. I love you, remember?"

She sighed shakily, leaning against the trunk of a giant tree.

"I'm just afraid," she admitted. "Reviving you was a really scary experience."

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

Jade Harley was, for lack of a better term, a dork.

From her circular Harry Potter glasses to those Porky Pig snorts that came with every aggressive attack from his knowing fingers, there really wasn’t much about the girl that fell under the typical “cool” category. She wasn’t up on the latest trends or hip hop artists, and she damn sure couldn’t tell you what had happened on the most recent episode of Jersey Shore (or even the meaning of GTL, more than likely.)

But you know what? That was what he fucking loved about her.

She was probably the smartest kid he’d even met in his life. Who else lightly dabbled in Nuclear Physics in their past time? Not to mention that damn adorable ass forgetfulness of hers. Tying string around her fingers and shit. Mad cute. And let’s not forget those teeth of hers. Why did he find them so damn attractive. Just…everything.

Everything that was Jade Harley, he completely adored. 

And he had just realized it. Fuck.

“Hold on.”

She wasn’t going anywhere, the hand that had tightly clasped around her own and lightly tugged her back towards him. While this (brand new?) feeling was still welling up in his chest he needed to act, otherwise he might never have the courage to again.

“We don’t have to go anywhere. Knight of Time, remember…?”

Tongue moved to wet suddenly dry lips, Dave almost unable to meet her gaze even with the protection given by his sunglasses. Shit, it was those damn glasses. He always thought she looked so cute with ‘em, but they definitely weren’t helping the situation. Maybe if he just…

==> Dave: Remove Harley’s spectacles and then realize what an idiot you are because her eyes are beyond dazzling.

Well shit, that definitely didn’t make things any easier. Did her eyes have to be so damn beautifully green? What the fuck was even going through his brain right now? And his heart was racing like a quarterback racing down the court through three defenders trying to kick a goal.

Hesitant fingertips slid over her cheek, his soft breath melding with hers and lips so close that each heave of his shoulders sent them scraping over her own.

“We got all the time in the world, Harley.”

==> Dave: Kiss Jade.

Gladly.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade, who was very intent on making her way back to the beach, was a bit startled when Dave tugged her back to him. She looked at him curiously, opening her mouth to inform him of the setting sun. 

“We don’t have to go anywhere. Knight of Time, remember…?”

Oh!

Jade smiled slightly, wondering what he wanted to stick around here for. It wasn't exactly the safest place to make some shelter and hang out at. Her thoughts were interrupted when he removed her glasses. It was like she'd lost her ability to speak, only able to stare at him with wide eyes. 

Was there something on her lenses? Why did he --

Why was he so close? 

She felt her heartbeat pick up to a rapid pace, a blush becoming thick on her skin. Was Dave doing this on purpose? Trying to get a rise out of her? Jade always thought it was rather obvious she had a bit of a crush on him. He was the coolest guy in the entire universe. How could she not? 

Jade's eyes fluttered closed for a moment at the feeling of his fingertips on her flushed cheek. It was almost like an instinctive reaction. She inhaled lightly, trying to catch her breath -- but it was stolen only a moment later.

“We got all the time in the world, Harley.”

Whoa.

Oh God. Oh God. She'd been wondering what this would feel like for such a long time, but unfortunately that fantasy was butchered when she had to kiss his corpse. Jade began to panic. That experience had scarred her.

She pulled away, face and lips flushed, snatching her glasses quickly. 

"D-Dave... I... I'm sorry, I..." Jade trailed off, her eyes watering. 

It's not that she didn't harbor feelings for him. She did. It was just... the last time she kissed him, Dave was dead. He was cold and still and tasted of blood. Jade was so afraid that was all she'd picture if they were to ever kiss again. She thought that to be a very slim possibility, anyway. Dave was much too cool for someone like her. 

Now that the seemingly impossible had occurred, Jade was terrified.

"L-let's go construct that shelter, okay?" 

She made her way out of the cage, beginning to captchalogue branches.

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

“What the hell are you trying to say, Harley?”

Even as a joke, it was hard to keep mad at the celestial beauty. She was so full of vitality and life, constantly empowering the world around her with that almost naive sense of innocence. Despite all the blood on his hands, Jade still made Dave feel like a good person. Even while unaware of the long shadow that had been trailing him since their Sburb session, her light managed to keep the darkness at bay.

That being said, if she was really going to make fun of his accent (you know, the one that didn’t fucking exist), there was going to be some serious hell to pay. Which was how his fingers ended up running along her rib cage like so.

“Asshole. You pull of the southern belle thing pretty well though. Who were you just now, Colonel Sanders?”

Did she really have to go and say stuff like that? Especially when pressing herself so intently into him, those muffled giggles sending ripples into his belly that were causing flip flops of fucking gargantuan proportions. She had no idea what she did to him, did she? 

“Yeah. Love you too, yo. And I’m sure you’ll save my ass more than a few times while we’re here on the lovely Satanspawn Isles, so don’t sweat it.”

Another slow swipe of his lips, this time over one of those rosy cheeks.

Yeah…just friends.

Just friends.

Just…fuck.

[jadeharley--blog]

The heartiest belly laughs came from Jade as Dave began tickling her. She squirmed and squeaked and snorted and tried fighting him off of her, but it was of no use. He had a tight hold on her, his fingers relentless.

She finally began to catch her breath, only for it to be taken away seconds later.

Jade started laughing again as soon as Dave's lips made contact with her skin. His comments, his everything, it all made happiness erupt within her. It radiated on the outside of her as well -- her smile as wide as anything, a bright blush spread across her face.

She beamed at Dave, overcome with the joy of just being with him. Even though they were on this wretched island, Satanspawn Isle as he so eloquently called it, Jade was ecstatic that she had Dave.

"I can't even keep myself from hugging you!" she exclaimed. "I just want to hug you all the time because I'm so happy you're here with me!"

They couldn't keep hugging in the middle of the jungle, however. They had a shelter to construct before it got dark -- and by the way the sun was peaking through the trees it didn't look as if they had much time left. 

Jade jumped off of him, beginning to climb out of the cage.

"Come on! We've gotta hurry up and build! I'll keep hugging you later!"

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

It was a little disappointing that Jade had been so willing to give up in the face of death. Especially knowing that Dave Strider himself was literally a pirouette away and ready to unleash all sorts of fucknasty horrors upon anyone and everyone that came near her. 

She might have been the Witch of Space, but she would always be his princess. And what was the duty of a Knight other than to protect his sworn lady?

It was hard to deal with the fact that once again, Harley had been so close to her own demise. Why was it that every time the two of them managed to get together, something or someone always tried to come its monstrous ass between them? Bec Noir, this Gabriel fucker, it was really pissing him off. Maybe he should just go hunt down that son of a bitch an-

Nah. Chill, Strider. Stay chill. Stay calm and Harley.

“You sound surprised? What, you thought I was gonna’ just let Master Splinter get his paws on you? Must be trippin’.”

Well, he hadn’t exactly been expecting that. But it wasn’t really that surprising. She was an emotional creature, Miss Harley, and never afraid to express it through whatever median. All he could do was be there for her in whatever capacity she might need, which was why his long arms would proceed to wrap around her frame and pull her into his waiting chest.

Could she feel how fast his heart was beating? A combination of fear and rage pumping through his veins, along with a strong shot of adrenaline, had the shit slamming like a Nikki Minaj beat on hyperspeed. His face might not give anything away, but you couldn’t lie to your heart.

Of course, now it was speeding up for another reason entirely.

“I told you not to worry about a thang. You won’t have to harm anything, if I’m around.”

Before he could even stop himself, his lips just barely grazed over her forehead before pulling back, features once against a mask of granite as he continued to cradle her there in his arms. As long as there was still air in his lungs, he would protect Jade. Even if it meant from herself.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade laughed sheepishly, blushing at the contact of his lips to her forehead. She clung to him for a few more moments, incredibly grateful that he was on this crazy island with her. Life was even more precious and fragile by the moment, Sburb teaching her that valuable lesson in the first place.

"I don't have to worry about a thaaaang?" she drawled, giggling. "Oh, Mistuh Striiiiiiduhhh. You're my hero~!" 

She continued laughing, burying her face into his neck. She nuzzled her nose against his skin, her giggles relentless. 

"I love you so much, Dave. You're such an amazing friend and I can't thank you enough for saving me," she said, pulling back slightly to glance up at him.  

Jade cleared her throat, feeling her cheeks heat up. She did love Dave. Of course she did. They were friends. Friends. That's all.

Right?

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

They had some really dangerous shit here, huh? Between the spike pits and the beat traps, their friend Gabriel really wasn’t rooting for their survival. There was a small thought as to what might happen should one of them get seriously injured, what with the lack of medical supplies and surgical equipment, but he quickly shoved it out of his head. It wouldn’t help to be paranoid, and knowing Harley she was probably carrying a fucking EMT in her Sylladex.

Nestled high up and currently perched on a branch, Dave couldn’t help but look on in awe as Harley took out those targets one by one. She was really something else with that riflekind, huh? Let’s never piss her off. Ever.

Sidenote let us take heed of the feathery asshole that decided it would be a good idea to use Strider’s head for a fucking nest. What, was his ass currently sitting all up and on the bird’s crib? He was pretty sure he had checked, so obviously this guy just thought it would be a good idea to be a aviary dickhead.

“I swear to god if you take a dump on my he-“

“DAVE!”

Shit, Harley.

Dave Strider had never known rage as he did that day. It was bad enough that he had to hear that sheer fucking distress in her voice, but to watch his beloved friend(?) get locked in that cage, and with a monster at that? Yeah, he was not a happy damn camper. Matter of fact, he was a rather pissed off camper that would have rather stayed at home with electricity and his fucking free porn streams.

There was a blur of movement and a rush of bright red as Dave plummeted from the tree and landed in a brief crouch, crossing the span between the flora and the imprisoned Jade in an instant. There was not an inch of humor or irony etched into those features, no…

Jade Harley might have been a compassionate pacifist, but he?

He was not.

“Duck.”

Caledscratch sliced through the steel bars as though they were made of butter, Dave flourishing the hilt between his fingers with practiced ease as he quickly jumped in between Harley and the rabid creature that threatened to end her life. He was about to strife this goddamn thing so hard.

No. Jade. Not in front of Jade. Fuck.

“Get the fuck out of here. Now.”

His back to the downed Witch, her Knight had no problem with ripping the shades from his face and freeing those twin orbs of heat from their usual veil. Right then, burning with violent intention, they could have easily been called the eyes of the devil himself. Roaring flames met endless black, holding for a moment before the rat chittered and immediately turned to leap over the shattered cage before scampering away.

Shit. He should chase that fucking thing down and skin it alive. But…Harley, gotta thing of early.

A slow breath and the return of frames to face, before he turned and knelt before the shaken brunette. Even without being able to see his eyes, it was obvious that the perpetually cool Strider was worried.

“…You alright, Harley?”

Fingers would close over her own, squeezing once, before he dropped his blade and immediately moved his free hand to examine her face. 

[jadeharley--blog]

Everything happened so fast. Jade was sure this was the end. She was sure she was going to be eaten alive by this creature. She wished she had the courage to just shoot the damn thing. 

As she trembled in fear, she realized that, if she makes it out of this situation alive somehow, she'd probably have to learn to kill living things like this. Jade let out a pitiful whimper, expecting the worst when suddenly --

“Duck.”

She fell to her knees immediately, eyes opening wide to watch Dave come to her rescue. She stared, awestruck, as the Knight stood before her. He truly was a Knight -- in every definition.

Jade flinched as he looked ready to completely slice the rat-like-thing into a thousand pieces. She wouldn't blame him if he did. It was something she was going to have to learn how to put up with. 

...But no, that's not what Dave did. He continued to surprise her and leave her breathless with how wonderfully cool he really was. The animal simply ran away at his words. How? How was that possible? Gosh, Dave Strider was so amazing to Jade. A hero.

“…You alright, Harley?”

Jade stared up at him, overcome with so many different emotions.

"You saved me," she breathed, astonished. "Dave... Oh, Dave!"

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

The mystery of what exactly lie behind those mirrored lenses was almost legendary. One of the Seven Wonders of the World, even. Like how the fuck Nic Cage had been allowed to make a sequel to Ghost Rider. Or how many licks it really took to get to the tootsie roll bottom of a tootsie pop. Spoiler: Strider had actually taken up that elusive mystery in one of his recent live blogs. And guess what? The answer was one hundred and seventy fucking two. Problem solved. Stop making those stupid ass commercials.

Good luck trying to pull them off of his face while he was on alert, though. Best opportunity would probably have to be while he was fast asleep, and even then the damn things were probably booby trapped or something.

“Isn’t.” There was nothing funny about his accent at all, thanks. Since he was seven, the boy had been trying to rid himself of that cursed southern twang brought about by his uprising. Though even for all of his cool guy concentration, the shit still crept up on him every once in a while.

What?

In the same bed?

There was something about this that should have been raising a red flag in Strider’s mind. Sure, they were old friends and all, but this was a little different from the footie pajama slumber parties you had when you were a kid. They were both a hell of a lot older now, and she wasn’t just some flat chested, buck tooth brat. Jade had grown up considerably…

> Dave: Proceed to slow your stride in order to check out Harley while you thought she wasn’t looking.

Yeah, this sounded like a recipe for fucking success. Let’s throw in two kids, one with the social maturity of a house plant, together in one bed. Add a dash of vulnerability, some rampant hormones, a little marvin gaye and fucking chardonnay, and it was all kinds of win up in here.

God damn it. Moving on.

When she grabbed his arm and held him in place, there wasn’t even the slightest bit of shock or suspicion in Dave’s features. Jade knew what the fuck she was talking about, no point in doubting her judgement. If anything, she was right at home in a place like this.

“Right. Do your thing, Xeno. I’ll come swooping in with some acrobatic fucking pirhouettes when its over and captchalogue everything, so no biggie.”

Time to climb a vine. Good thing he had been pretty damn pro at the rope climb back in gym class.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade's mind was now solely focused on the safety of Dave. She waited until he had climbed up high enough to avoid any repercussions from the traps. This wasn't some tropical vacation where she could laze around with one Dave Strider in a tree house -- unfortunately. This island was a fight.

A fight that Miss Harley intended to win.

Without hesitation and with all of her skill, Jade began firing. She was spot on, setting off traps that would have put them in cages along with other tripwires and hidden patches of quicksand. 

All the while, she was etching the route she'd taken to Dave in her mind. It was a clear path -- a path they could take safely without any fear of traps going off.

For a moment there was complete silence, aside from the jungle's natural sounds and the clicking noises of Jade's rifle. She reloaded her weapon quickly and stood.

"I think... I think I got 'em all," she announced, carefully stepping around the area. "Don't come down until I say so."

Jade's eye for this was almost perfect. 

Almost.

Just as she was about to yell for Dave to climb down, Jade tripped with a gasp of true surprise and fear. Her heart pounded much too loud and fast for her liking. She aimed her rifle up toward where the cage was plummeting from the tree, but, for once, she wasn't quick enough.

"DAVE!"

With a shrill scream, Jade Harley found herself captive in a giant cage -- but she wasn't alone. Some animal was inside with her; a terrifying, giant, mutated looking thing that she couldn't recognize. It was closest to a rat, only giant, mutated, and frothing at the mouth.

She backed up quickly, her back slamming into the other end of the cage. 

"Sh-shit!" she breathed, panting heavily. 

The animal made its way toward her, hissing and growling in awful ways. She shut her eyes tightly, clutching her weapon. Jade Harley didn't shoot animals. Jade Harley was a compassionate pacifist.

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

The emerald witch would find a single digit hooked over the bridge of her spectacles, dragging them lightly along her nose so that he could get a good look at her dazzling hues. She’d catch the slightly hint of fire behind his own shades, like the sun disappearing behind the horizon, as he allowed himself a very tiny smile.

“Chill. You worry too much, Harley.”

After their many years of friendship, it wasn’t that hard to figure out what kind of borderline remedial thoughts ran through that hyperactive brain of hers. Partially due to her upbringing, and mostly because it was just in her personality, the girl had a tendency to over think everything.

Especially when it came to Dave Strider, for whatever reason. Not like he was anything special.

“You ain’t happen to grab a couch or an air mattress or something, did you? Not that it matters. I can just crash on the floor. Snuggle up next to one of those giant ass rats. Use it for a fucking pillow pet.”

Shouldering the shattered bladekind, Dave would easily fall into step at Jade’s side with a simple nod of acknowledgement. Would it really be as easy as she made it sound? Gathering wood was one thing, but trying to make it into a stable structure was enough. Eh, she was the resident genius, if anybody could do it it’d be Harley.

“You think Egbert and the Blair Witch got snagged, too?”

It was pretty safe to assume the entire cast had been snatched up and thrown about the island, though he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about the likes of people like TZ and that one loud ass troll being here. Things could only get hectic when those guys got involved. Not to mention full of mind fuckery.

“Shit. Better be alright. Glad you found me, though. I don’t thank…think, I could deal with you lone wolfing it and shit on your own.”

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade's eyes widened slightly when she caught a glimpse of Dave's. In all the years they'd known one another, she never once saw his eyes. She blushed brightly, her cheeks almost matching his hues. They looked as if they were crimson, but it could have been the light or something. This provoked her determination to get those shades off of his face during their time together.

"Ain't?" Jade teased with a small giggle. She always wondered if Dave had an accent, being from Texas. She thought she heard him slip up a few times on LOFAF but she could have been mistaken. It was very cute. 

She bumped into him playfully as they walked, glancing over at him. 

"You don't have to sleep on the floor, silly! My bed's pretty big! We could both fit comfortably if you want!" she replied, smiling widely.

Jade didn't see anything wrong with sharing a bed. After all, she was raised by a dog. She had learned almost no boundaries.

Scratch that!

She had learned of no boundaries at all.

"If they did get put here, I hope they found each other and are safe! We have cell phones, right? Maybe we can try contacting them once we've built our shelter!" 

She then froze, grabbing Dave's arm tightly as to stop him from walking. She looked over at him, her playful eyes holding a serious glint. "I've lone-wolfed it my whole life, cool kid."

Jade suddenly got down on one knee, aiming her riflekind. 

"There are traps around here, Dave. I'm going to set them off. Have your sword and your sylladex ready. I'm going to need you to captchalogue as many branches as you can. Grab that vine over there and climb, okay? I don't want you down here when I'm shooting and when these crazy things are going off."

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

Woah.

Where the fuck had that come from?

Obviously she had just been overcome with emotion after seeing him, right? It had been three years since all this bullshit started, its no wonder she might want to show a little affection. After all, he had been lying in a puddle of his own blood with the taste of copper fresh on her lips, last they met. 

That wouldn’t stop him from raising a single hand to brush briefly at the area, hidden gaze giving away nothing.

Oh. Right. They were supposed to be doing the whole Davy Crockett thing, not sitting around silently musing about their own blossoming feelings towards one another. He didn’t have time to be spacing out, they only had a few hours of daylight left, and quite a bit of work in store for them.

“Yeah, nothing worth dragging out though. Unless you want to make our crib out of apple juice bottles and a fucking sword.”

An Alchemizer, huh? They could get into some serious trouble with one of those. Forget a tree house, between the two they could probably build a fresh Bel-Air manor, complete with a taxi cab with dice in the mirror. And probably a bad ass butler named Geoffery to boot.

That damn smile of hers. Cut that out, it was mad distracting.

“This is true. But all the cool in the world wouldn’t amount to having my own personal hot Tarzan.”

True story.

[jadeharley--blog]

His own personal hot Tarzan? Jade fought a blush. Surely he didn't mean hot in the sense of being good looking! Or sexually attractive! He probably meant that it was very warm in temperature here -- which it was.

Wait. 

Did that mean she looked hot? As in, sweaty and gross?

Jade certainly hoped not. That would be more embarrassing than accidentally sending Dave headfirst onto the ground. Not that she cared. She didn't. Right?

She cleared her throat again. Now wasn't the time to think about that kind of thing. Dave mentioned having apple juice and a sword. That wasn't going to build them any kind of shelter. They had to gather wood and other things. Jade was, again, finding herself extremely grateful she had her full sylladex.

"That's okay! When John and I were on the ship I went back to LOFAF to see if I could recover anything from my room! I should have my bed in my sylladex!" she exclaimed. "And a bunch of other stuff!"

Jade picked up her riflekind and motioned for Dave to join her as she began walking.

"Come on! We have to gather as much wood as we can find! We'll Captchalogue what we can!"

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

The third one really was a crock of shit. What the hell had Tobey been thinking when he decided to sport the emo bang? Granted, Strider had thought that the part where he flung open his jacket and a gust of wind blew the chick back was kind of baller. But there was no way he was going to admit that to Harley, or anybody else for that matter.

Some secrets you just took to the grave, man.

“Teach me? Unless we’re talking meals of the instant noodle variation, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, Harley.”

Not that he wouldn’t mind learning a couple of culinary arts, but it seemed as though every time he went into the kitchen, something horrible happened. Like when a certain someone had tossed his refrigerator through the wall. Or when reading a note left behind by his Bro had lead to a serious ass kicking of such magnitude that he still saw it when he closed his eyes.

Granted, neither of those things had anything to do with cooking, but you could see how a guy might be traumatized.

With the two of them together, he really couldn’t see anybody standing a snowman’s chance in hell, not even with the heat turned down to simmer and packing more ice than Vanilla. When you combined Witch of Grace and the Knight of Rhyme together, they were truly an unbeatable combination.

”?”

The embrace caught him off guard, Strider’s arms hanging on either side of their joined frames as she shamelessly pulled him into her own. It didn’t take a Seer to gleam what was running through that pretty brunette head of hers. The last time they had seen one another…things had been pretty grim. Now look at them, reunited and in one piece. Everything was a-1. You know, subtracting the whole “trapped on a hellish island filled with booby traps, psychopaths, and mutant creatures” thing.

He was no fool. It wasn’t too long before his own long arms had wrapped around her completely, the young man ignoring the steadily increasing thud in his chest as he allowed himself to enjoy the moment.

“I can imagine. Considering I’m still pretty mindfucked over seeing you here. I missed you, Harley.”

More than you know.

[jadeharley--blog]

Toby was a fucknut in that movie and that's all there is to it.

Anyway --

Jade gave Dave a light kiss on the cheek before ending their embrace. There was no way she would admit her heart was pounding a little faster than the normal rate. Or maybe she would. She is Jade after all, naive and ever so open. 

She quickly jumped to her feet, clearing her throat. It was probably time they explored a bit and gathered some supplies to build their new tree house. Finding a safe location was most likely a good idea as well. 

"Do you have your sylladex with you?" she asked, looking around absently. "I wish we had an alchemizer! That would be so convenient. It looks like we'll have to build the tree house from scratch!"

Jade smiled at Dave widely. 

"Thank God I have a strong, cool guy to help me out!"

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[princeofpunts-deactivated201206]

Yes, no doubt that was Jade. And no doubt, she was pointing that gun at him like he was a being of the evil. And she also didn’t know who he was. And she was also crying!

“Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck you, Harley, and put that fucking gun up my ass! If you fucking point that shit at me again, I’m gonna throw you at those fucking rocks on the beach and make you swallow that tasty salt water that all you humans love! Fuck, you crybaby, do me a favor and don’t fucking cry in front of me, it disgust me seeing you with that face!”, he yelled that in rage and grabbed a piece of cloth that wasn’t actually dirty and gave it to her.

“Now do us both a favor and clean those tears. I’m not gonna fucking kill you”.

If she didn’t know who he was just by that exaggerating swearing, he would even know another way for her to know who he was without telling her you’re the troll who told her she would fuck everything up when they were playing Sburb.

[jadeharley--blog]

Eh? When had she started crying? Jade figured it was the shock of running into someone in this crazed place. She was prepared for the worst, after all. The way Gabriel had put it... it was a fight for life here.

Jade quickly blinked her tears away, lowering her weapon. Next, her eyes narrowed as she grabbed the cloth he offered. 

This was definitely a troll and without a doubt, the one and only fuckass himself,

"Karkat?" 

"Is that you?"

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

“Yep.”

Dave hated when he gave himself horrible mental images. The idea of some beefy white chick latching onto his face and infecting him with all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases gave the kid goosebumps. As Jade went squinting in his direction the teen would shift one brow upwards in response, subconsciously leaning away from her scrutiny as he did so.

She didn’t have to worry about a thing. He wasn’t interested in sloppy makeouts with anyone..

Well, there might have been someone. But a Strider doesn’t kiss and tell. Or is it fantasize and tell? Whatever.

Would she really cavort around with nothing hiding her body but a pair of sliced coconut shells and a seriously killer tan? It wasn’t like he was going to go hitting up the wahmbulance, what young hormonal teenager in his right mind would? It was just times like these that made him realize how innocent and naive Jade was, and elicited the usual urge to protect those that would take advantage.

Scarlet gaze watched closely as she went scampering up the tree like some kind of fucking squirrel, trying to ignore the crazed laughter that escaped the girl as she flew up the trunk of that thing like Peter G. Parker. The G standing for Goddamn, of course. She really wasn’t joking, was sh-

Oh shit.

No Dave, we will not be letting her know how much that scared the fuck out of you. Instead lets just cue your casual shifting until you two were literally almost nose to nose.

“Are you saying you want to live with me? I don’t do the Betty Crocker thing well. I can spin a sick beat and clean a mean fucking dish, but I mean, thats about it.”

She had a point though. Anywhere was better than down here with these big sewer rats.

[jadeharley--blog]

Jade giggled, a small blush forming on her cheeks at the closeness of the two. This reminded her of something she saw in one of those Spider Man movies. Not the crappy third one, though. Quickly, she touched her nose to Dave's before flipping over so she could sit upright. 

She crossed her legs to sit Indian-style, adjusting her skirt.

"That's okay! I'll do the cooking! You can create your awesome beats and clean the dishes! Maybe I can even teach you how to cook!" she replied excitedly.

Maybe being stuck on this island wasn't going to be so terrible. She had Dave with her and they could, most likely, avoid the dangers. They were a team! The Witch of Space and the Knight of Time! Nothing and no one could take them down.

For a moment, Jade just smiled at him. It really was amazing to see him. It was like their time on LOFAF wasn't enough or something -- and the way it ended was absolutely nightmarish. Kissing his lifeless, bloodied lips to revive him was something that scarred her. The fact that he was alive and well, right in front of her, was miraculous. 

"Gosh, you have no idea how great it is to see you," she said, hugging him tenderly. 

[jadeharley--blog]

[001: this isn't my island.]

[thesesickbeats-blog]

“Serious as that red blister on your lip after you spend the night having sloppy makeouts with some chick you just met at a part. You know, that one girl that had just come out of a room with three black dudes and some hair gel in her do that you’re pretty sure wasn’t there when she went in.”

In other words, yeah. He was sure.

How did one even measure these invisible cool points that he seemed to be racking up by the milisecond. Was there some kind of invisible gauge floating around, filling up like Gryffindors at the end of every fucking book to win the House Cup? Surely his were already at maximum capacity, which in that case then the least Strider could do would be to lend his friend a couple thousand.

Spread the wealth, and all that. You know how it is.

“Thanks.” She really was prepared for anything and everything, wasn’t she? Dave gave a brief nod of appreciation as he popped two of the pills and took a swig of water, not realizing just how thirsty he had been until the cool liquid was soothing his throat. 

She really didn’t need to try so hard to impress him. Jade was cool in her own unique way, right down to those stupid strings she wore around her fingers. Burning gaze locked onto her like a heat seeking missile, watching that sunshine smile with a strange sense of approval.

“Sure thing. Throw in a coconut bra and a hearty roar via chest pound, and you got yourself one interested Strider.”

[jadeharley--blog]

"Erm... Oh!"

Jade had to admit, she didn't understand most of Dave's crazy analogies. Did that mean he spent all night having sloppy makeouts with some strange girl with hair gel in her hair? She squinted, examining his lips for a red blister.

She felt something unpleasant then. Was it jealousy?

No, it couldn't have been jealousy. Psh! She didn't feel anything for Dave! This was Dave! She scrunched her face up, having an internal battle with herself. 

“Sure thing. Throw in a coconut bra and a hearty roar via chest pound, and you got yourself one interested Strider.”

Jade laughed heartily. She considered it. Who knows? On an island this warm and tropical, a coconut bra might be what she'd be reduced to wearing. Not that Jade saw anything wrong with that in the first place. She saw absolutely nothing wrong with the adjustments she'd made to her outfit, as risque as it might look to others. Growing up on a tropical island of your own really left the girl with no shame.

She jumped to her feet, cracking her limbs before beginning to climb the tree again. 

"Okay, Dave! Watch and learn!"

Jade removed her shoes and began her swift climb up the giant tree. She clutched a nearby vine and swung from it, laughing hysterically all the while. It wasn't necessarily a skill that could be considered useful until now. Aside from the sick, twisted plot of this island and the terrifying mystery of this island, Jade felt right at home. 

She grabbed another vine and dropped down behind Dave, hanging upside down.

"Maybe we can make a tree house and live up in one of the trees near the beach!" she suggested. "It might be safer to live above ground!"