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[jamaicacheddar]

Dear Thwani, you and i together are a force of nature. we can’t get scared off by our own combined power 💥

Love,

Joshua

*This was a love hack*

[smoothassatten]

Make-up time w. Momma: Precious moments lead to grow shifts, Leaving Papa like “oh Shit”, Gotta know this, Gotta show this, Respect for time passing like “Focus!”, Take a deep breath and hold it, Like the moment, Close to your chest, Take a big step and own it, The legacy, ripped from the chest, Behold evolved crest, Delivered in dress, Pass the torch? Nah, pass the test, Little girls on right and little boys to the left, And all around them a proud Papa 👴🏽 stands blessed, Behold the pale horse that carries forth my children to glory, from the nest. #pancakegamerevival (at Napa, California)

[jamaicacheddar]

Love this

[smoothassatten]

Grace: don’t take it for granted.

- God

[jamaicacheddar]

Did you get that?

[jamaicacheddar]

I want to be alone with you

But I also want to be alone with you in different ways. One day I will get it and be able to do it...hopefully

[jamaicacheddar]

Think towards your healing

It's how I made it!

[smoothassatten]

Today, while walking around downtown Houston in between client meetings, I was stopped by this man Chris Johnson. Ignorantly, I immediately told him I didn’t have any change; he told me he didn’t need change, he told me he needed $47 because as of two days ago he had officially lost everything and was living in his car with his three daughters and his wife. He asked me if I would go with him to a nearby shelter to purchase a weeks stay if I didn’t believe him… We started walking and I immediately noticed that both of his knees were bad so I called an Uber for us. I spent the next hour and a half accompanying him around Houston in search of a shelter, a job, buying groceries, and getting him some spending cash. We prayed together in the street while he cried. He told me he had been standing there for two days and I was the first person to look him in the eye. I was touched.

We talk about angel investing but we don’t take the time to invest in angels. In helping him, he was the blessing to me. Take the time to look people in the eye when you’re out on business. It could be us.

Highly favored. Blessed and loved. Respected and hopeful. Perspective.

Thanks God 🙏🏾

PS - the meeting I had just come out of was on the former trading floor of Enron.

[jamaicacheddar]

Love this

[jamaicacheddar]

He's my friend I'm going through chemo I had to face my fears

[jamaicacheddar]

[jamaicacheddar]

Love on chemo

Im sad. It’s hard going through cancer and feeling disconnected from you. I feel like you can’t hear me. Like I’m standing on the other side of some thick ass glass which allows me to see you and you to see me but we can’t hear each other at all. I feel fragile like a glass ball. “You’ve got months of being broken…” I’m already broken. But you’ll probably disagree. Nothing I say right now holds any real meaning for you; Or so it seems. I’m broken and I’m sad. Beyond that, emotions just rise and fall and sometimes swirl. Beyond that it’s all just a mix. Frustration, physical pain, anxiety. But what’s really got me is us. We are not US. I am me here. You are you- there. Unhappy communications; love me, show me you love me; Hold me cause you love me. Kiss me cause you love me. Subliminal messages sent loud and clear. Then you look at me Holding back the tears Fearing the emptiness of my stares. Am I even here? It’s like looking at you in the dark. I’m sad. Days I think maybe I should stop. But I can’t. As messed up as this feels There is a trust that it will all heal and sound will return. Communication won’t be stunted I want that now. You must look at my before and miss it I miss it too. No worries of cancer made it easier But you and I have been broken down for a while I’ve been loving you and losing my smile No joy I need something What you have been giving is good but not it Thus I can only believe that what I’ve been giving you is not as well. For some reason you feel like I’m stuck in a selfish mode. “It’s not just about you” The only thing we agree on.

[jamaicacheddar]

I want a nice life

If you are my soulmate no matter how stupid or irrational or unnecessary my verbal uttering may be- you still care. Maybe then I would talk more

[jamaicacheddar]

Cancer: on the real

Having been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cAncer and requiring (and now going through) 6 months of chemo I've been the recipient of many compassionate responses. Compassion: sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. Really nice of people, but from the recipient point of view it can become- redundant and a bit annoying. "So sorry to hear about what you're going through...." - you're sorry to hear about it? I'm sorry I'm going through it! "Just heard about your journey and I admire your bravery..." Bravery?? This is not about being brave! This is me doing what's necessary to live! "So sad to hear of what you and your family are going through." Sad? Sometimes compassion can be way too mixed with pity. Please don't be sad for me. And it goes on and on with remarks and wishes that echo the same thoughts. The truth is, once you get diagnosed with cancer it is like being branded with the scarlet letter. Not only are you systematically changed as a person, the world never sees you the same. I think the hardest thing that I had to do after being diagnosed was fill out new medical papers and putting down my newly diagnosed condition . That's when I really realized my life was never going to be the same. Anyone else feel the same, been through it, want to share?

[jamaicacheddar]

I am being lifted

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6 NIV

[jamaicacheddar]

The preparation- cycle 1 day 1

My mind is slowly pulled into agreement with my body and they then become grounded in my spirit which is grounded in God- and we spend spend hours being one. Showed up about a half hour late for the first appointment because it was intense to feel my mind and body and soul meeting to accept what it was about to receive. all of me, present in me- cause I need to heal. After telling my husband to take it easy, him agreeing, no argument; that's when I felt like I could get out of the car and walk into the building. I really want to do this right. No part of me can be spared on anything extra today. Every molecule is focused on me. I know I'm going to change. It is inevitable. This will kill cells in me that have been there for a while...and then...I will remake them little by little. The first time I'm making myself a priority. And with that I shall cry and laugh and grow.

[jamaicacheddar]

Can we go back to the days when things were lighter. When you didn't see me as fight and you a fighter. When the light in my soul shined a little brighter. When wrong just existed and there was no righter. No, we can just keep moving

[jamaicacheddar]

I will be healthy and strong, but most of all I am forever changed and looking forward to what God wants from me. 12 cycles of being broken down and rebuilt!

[jamaicacheddar]

Checking in

So here I am "How long will you be staying with us?" She asks. "Two days" I reply The quiver of uncertainty rolling through me. Me, knowing that it's certain the angels will want to tarry over me longer than that. "Well if they need to have you stay longer then all they need to do is document it and you don't need to worry about that". She says "Thank you". I reply Because I know, from the moment that I began to drive; Ushered by the Angels on the road; guided by God through traffic; Him quietly taking me to the place where I am going to receive my healing. Fear no longer in all my cells paralyzing me. I wasn't shaking or shaken. I'm gonna beat this shit!

[smoothassatten]

This is from May

[jamaicacheddar]

Dear Kanye, Thank you. I'm sorry for the sheep mentality of the human race. Please stay alive.