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Brotha..brotha..brotha..
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LONG POST: So, I recently got engaged to my gf of 3 years about a month ago. I’m 36 and she’s 25. Everything is good “on paper”...she’s a great person, she had a good spirit, very intelligent, comes from a great family, nurturing, etc. She’s the first woman I’ve dated in over 10 years. My most recent ex was with a guy that lasted 4.5yrs. We’re still good friends til this day. However, something is missing is my current relationship and I don’t know how to process it.
Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with moderate anxiety and depression and I began medication to help treat it. I’d dealt with this in the past but never had been prescribed meds for it. I used to pride myself on my ability to always be “even keeled” mentally but with the pandemic and other drastic changes to my life, it became too overwhelming for me. I’m grateful for the meds bc I now feel a lot better. I also recently began therapy but the results are still pending since it’s so new.
With the meds I’m taking, it has seriously drained my libido which has, in turn, affected my sex life. I have absolutely no desire to have sex whatsoever. As a recovering sex addict, it’s been one of the best changes of my life. However, my fiancée is on the opposite end of the spectrum. She wants it ALL THE TIME. We’ve had numerous conversations about this with her explaining to me how she feels it’s not fair for her to not be able to express herself sexually like she wants. I actually agree with her. It’s not fair and I don’t know how to remedy this. I’ve explained to her about my past addiction and my current issues with my libido to no avail. She also suffers with anxiety and depression but refused to get back on meds or even begin to do the work with therapy. Again, I feel like I’m doing the work and working on changing and she’s not.
She was very sheltered growing up and hasn’t had much life experience whereas I’ve had a very full life up to this point which includes of course sexual experiences. She doesn’t like masturbating (she says it doesn’t feel right) so the only way she has orgasms is if I give them to her. She doesn’t want to use toys. I like all of that stuff and have very extensive sexual interest. None of which she’s interested in.
Another thing is...she hasn’t grown or changed one bit since we’ve been together and I’ve grown/changed quite a bit. She’s self-described as “very low maintenance”. Getting her to try new things is like pulling teeth. I once offered to pay for her to get her hair and nails done and I was given excuse after excuse why she didn’t want to do it. When it comes to the women I’m attracted to, I like certain things. I like a woman who takes some care in her appearance. Not necessarily a face full of make up or anything like that. Just switching up hairstyles or dressing up every now and then. I’m pretty thorough with my style and would like to see her match my fly sometimes. She’s only done this once where she had her hair braided for about 12 hrs and then took them down. I spent $100+ for her to do this and was so excited and turned on with the change. She looked so good! However, I felt extremely let down when she took them out. She only wears jeggings and t-shirts and wears her hair in a ponytail or bun. I understand the need to be comfortable but I just expect to only see her like this for the rest of our lives. This, in turn, feeds into my lack of desire for sex. I’m bored with it. It doesn’t turn me on. I have nothing to motivate me to even be turned on enough to be horny for sex. She just expects me to just be horny from being around her and I’ve explained that that’s just not how it works for me. When we do have sex, I feel like I’m just doing it for her. I feel like a character from Westworld where I’m only using my body for her sake. I feel like a robot just going through the motions. I feel pressured and I hate it so much. Not to make light of it or anything, but I feel like I’m somewhat being r*ped when I’m being put in a predicament where I have to have sex just to please her when I don’t want to.
Which leads me to this. This morning, one of the first things she said to me when I got up is requesting that I ask my doctor to change my prescription to another med that supposedly doesn’t have the side effect of altering my libido so we can have more sex. I immediately felt so bothered, offended, and quite frankly, disgusted by this which triggered my anxiety and depression. I feel like how dare she ask me to change yet another thing just for her pleasure. I’ve changed the way I smoke 420 (she hates it but tolerates it bc it was something I did before being with her). 420 is important to me bc it helps with my anxiety. I’ve started wearing more colors in my wardrobe (I mainly wore a lot of black and other neutral/earth tone colors) because she asked. I would grow my hair out at times bc she likes when it’s longer and curly. I just feel like asking me to change my meds so she can have more sex is crossing the line.
It’s really making me question if I want to spend my life with her. This isn’t something that’s just going to go away. I’m probably gonna be dealing with anxiety/depression for the rest of my life. I don’t want her to have to alter her needs/wants for my sake and vice versa. It’s not fair to either of us. Like I said, everything on paper is good. But things are off. I love her and her daughter. We’re financially in a great place and I love the life we’ve built together but sometimes I just want to be alone. I’m at my happiest and most at peace when she’s not home. I could handle all the financial responsibilities by myself but the same is not true for her. I sometimes imagine what life could be like without her living here and I hate to say it but I’m ok with it. I really do love her as a person but these other things that are off are slowly chipping away at my mental and spiritual peace. I don’t know what to do.
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Damn I’m turning superstitious…usually I disregard these 🤷🏾♀️
Massage Oil – Coconut oil soothes tired and sore muscles. Add a few drops of essential oils for more effect.
Athletes Foot – The powerful antifungal properties of coconut oil make it perfect for any fungal infection. Add a few drops of oregano or tea tree oil for more antifungal power.
Acne – Coconut oil gently fights the bacteria that cause acne. Dab it directly on the offending pimples and watch them shrink.
Cleanser – Coconut oil makes an effective and gentle cleanser to remove the grime of the day.
Lice – Coconut oil kills and removes this pesky problem.
Stretch Marks – Prevent and soften stretch marks from pregnancy with coconut oil for soft and supple skin.
Warts and Moles – Rub oil into area and cover with a bandage. Rub in fresh oil and place a new bandage each day.
Moisturizer – Coconut oil is an excellent way to soften and hydrate dry, rough, or damaged skin.
Face Scrub – Mix coconut oil with baking soda, sugar, or cinnamon and oatmeal for the perfect face scrub and exfoliator.
Dandruff – Massage coconut oil into the scalp to ease symptoms of dandruff, both itching and flaking.
Curb Appetite – Take a spoonful before meals to curb appetite so you don’t overeat.
Wrinkles – Rub into lines, creases, and wrinkles to rehydrate skin and soften those wrinkles away.
Sore Throat – Dissolve a spoonful in your mouth and let it slowly roll down the throat. This will coat and protect the throat, boost the health of mucus membranes, and fight any infection.
Ring Worm – Rub coconut oil onto affected area to kill the fungus that causes unsightly ringworm. Add tea tree oil to clear the infection even faster.
Lip Balm – Coconut oil hydrates and protects lips. Coconut even offers some protection from the sun, about an SPF 4.
Cold Sore – Coconut oil has antiviral properties that will help the body get rid of the virus that causes cold sores. Rub it on when needed and add a drop of oregano oil to speed healing.
Lubricant – Coconut makes an all-natural personal lubricant for intimate moments without chemicals.
Gum Removal – Coconut oil gets the sticky stuff out of hair, carpet, and anywhere else it doesn’t belong.
Pet Health – Coconut oil can do a multitude of things for pets, both topically and internally. It improves breath, makes for a shiny coat, eases joint problems, cleans ears, gets rid of fleas, and much more.
Stys/Pink Eye – Rub a small amount of coconut oil on the sty or around the eyes to get rid of these painful and annoying infections quickly.
Earaches – Earaches, swimmer’s ear, and ear infections clear up fast with a few drops of coconut oil mixed with garlic oil.
Cradle Cap – Coconut oil is gentle and safe for infants and helps ease the itching, pain, redness, and flaking associated with cradle cap.
Diaper Rash – Coconut oil can help heal mild diaper rash gently and effectively.
Bruises – Rub coconut oil into bruised skin to speed healing and watch the bruises fade fast.
Age Spots – Coconut oil has beneficial effects on any skin blemish. Use it to help fade age spots with powerful antioxidants.
Shaving Cream – Coconut oil keeps the razor gliding smoothly while leaving skin smooth and soft.
After Shave – Don’t want unpleasant bumps and rashes after shaving? Coconut oil soothes sensitive skin and promotes healing.
Toothpaste – Mix 1 part coconut oil with 1 part baking soda and add a couple drops of peppermint oil. This makes a refreshing, natural toothpaste that whitens and cleans without added preservatives, fluoride, sweeteners, or other chemicals.
Chicken Pox – Ease the itch and encourage healing with dabs of coconut oil. It also works on poison ivy, poison oak, mosquito bites, and other insect stings or bites.
Yeast Infections – Coconut oil fights these fungal infections internally and externally.
Makeup Remover – Coconut oil removes oil-based makeup easily, like mascara. It cleans, hydrates, and makes skin glow.
Conditioner – Coconut oil conditions, strengthens, and repairs hair. Massage it in and rinse it out after ten minutes. A small amount can be rubbed in to dry hair to tame frizz.
Polish Furniture – Coconut oil gives a protective shine to wood furniture. Just make sure you test it out on a small area to make sure you like the outcome.
Energy – Coconut oil and its medium chain triglycerides make it an excellent energy source to improve stamina, endurance, or just to give you a boost through the day.
Deodorant – Mix coconut oil with cornstarch, baking soda, and your favorite essential oils for a natural deodorant that smells fantastic.
Eye Cream – Reduce puffiness and dark circles with a few dabs of coconut oil.
Eczema – Coconut oil reduces the itchiness, pain, flakiness, and dryness of eczema, psoriasis, and dermatitis.
Sunburn – Coconut oil can help prevent sunburn for short exposures. When you burn, it will also speed healing and take some of the sting away. Make sure you wait until all the heat has dissipated before applying it or you trap the heat in. Wait 24 to 72 hours depending on the extent of the burn.
Hemorrhoids – Coconut oil eases the pain and discomfort of hemorrhoids and encourages natural healing both internally and externally.
Nose Bleeds – Rub a bit of coconut oil in nostrils to fight the dry cracking that can lead to nose bleeds and pain.
Canker Sores – Dab coconut oil on canker sores to kill infection and speed up healing. Coconut oil is also a far tastier way to treat canker sores than most other methods.
Toothaches – Coconut oil eases the pain and strengthens teeth. You can mix it with a drop of clove oil to almost instantly relieve pain.
Acid Reflux – Take a small spoonful with meals to keep acid reflux and heartburn at bay.
Urinary Tract – Treat urinary tract infections with a spoonful of coconut oil. It may even ease the painful passing of kidney stones.
Nursing – Coconut oil works great to repair dry, cracked skin, including sore nipples from nursing.
Alzheimer’s – Some research points to coconut oil as a way to slow the progression of or prevent Alzheimer’s and dementia.
Bones – Coconut oil aids the body in the absorption of calcium and magnesium. Both minerals are important for strong bones and teeth.
Epilepsy – Coconut oil may reduce the incidence and intensity of epileptic seizures.
Fitness – Coconut oil boosts energy, increases metabolism, improves thyroid function, and aids healthy weight loss. It is the perfect addition to any workout or fitness regimen.
Cooking – Coconut oil doesn’t form harmful by-products when heated like most other oils and animal fats. Use it to replace butter, cup for cup in recipes. Sauté, cook, bake, broil, braise, and more using coconut oil as a healthier alternative.
Coconut oil is the only thing I use for literally everything. Great post to bookmark for future reference!
Nursing
im bout to use the fuck outta this this
Lookin out for jas0nwaterfalls since he found that jar of coconut oil last night
✨ do not put coconut oil on your face. It is comedogenic
Yeah when I put it on my face I broke out more but this other shit good!
girl-youtriedit