I wanna rant. See rant under the cut. It's not pretty though.
So uh... How should I start this...
I always had trouble with accepting my works. Always comparing my work to my other works. I'm not safe at all even in my own space? Like... Assigning an impossible standard for myself. Such as wanting to do more and more or wanting the next pieces to either have the same quality or better. And the thought that I won't reach that standard keeps me from drawing anything at all. I'm doubting myself from the first two lines. What the hell.
I've tried just drawing and shutting up, and actually that works. Just not thinking about it helps for a bit. But then the cycle repeats, because when I see the output, I want to match it again. And I grow discouraged again. I keep thinking, it's like I'm only borrowing skills. But maybe I'm just a baby. I should just study, so I can be more consistent quality and production wise, right? But it's so difficult for me to pay attention... Honestly, it's a bother, so maybe I shouldn't be complaining. I really just do what clicks for me in the moment.
Like looking at my output makes me momentarily disregard the struggles I had during the process. But I also like to think, if I really had to go through that specific struggle just to get here, maybe it isn't so bad.
Man, I'm really trying to be better. Just thinking, is there anyone else who feels this weird.
Another confession that is more or less related...
I always hoped to reach the same note counts my more popular post reached... I think because I was just starting out then, it skewed with my perception of what my traction should look like and started comparing my lower notes. But then I started imagining each note as people around me IRL and realized I'm not doing bad at all. There's also the fact that I don't put the same effort into every piece. It's done with varying moods and motivation.
But is that like copium lol.
I whine a lot for someone who still posts and draws.
Someone help me be normal about my emotions. Damn. ;;
Btw, there's a good chance I'll post about different ships. MAYBE. Let's see... I like... Renkaza and Bkdk. Is that okay?
I have a few more ships but it's unlikely I'll ever draw those. Like Kagehina or Yunoasu(?) simply because I haven't watched much of the anime they're in. +I've never drawn them before.
I feel kinda shy today haha... Ahem! Introducing... Third and youngest Janka child I made! Wonni Wonger!
Wonni is my weirdest design yet, honestly. Here are Akira Nijiku and Lovél Wonger.
Wonni became a raider shortly after running away from home. He's actually a sweetheart but he's absolutely terrible at reading the mood. If you told him directly though, he'd definitely be thoughtful.
Wonni studies Jabber's toxins and makes antidotes for them out of spite, though Jabber is really just proud.
His only real trauma is he was told to get his hair cut because of really bad split ends. His jinki's main is that it makes his hair impenetrable and indivisible, so get creative with that. I just liked the hanging ornament, /cough
Tamaweb @capuxchin introduced me to~ it's not he best, but I love him 💜
Free for use Sheet (because I made it) + Instructions below
Instructions:
Btw the sheet is for adult/elder Tamaweb pets so uhh, it might not work well for baby/child/teen sprites. Oh, and don't use it on Tamaweb pets that don't have limbs, ahem Darumatchi, I'm looking at you.
Boku Boku Janka! Best I can do ATM. Fun thing about the game is you can build, customize, furnitures are interactable, it's multiplayer and there are different actions/angles depending on the buttons you press. (Btw you can make them kiss 😈)
If you play solo, there are bots you can manage shown above :3
Janka having secret meetups when they aren't fighting and grows attached. But then the next morning they fight to kill because they can't ignore the fact that they're from opposing teams. And they do this every other day, bearing the thought that they're not only risking their life but also risking whatever they have. Trusting that the other will survive what the other throws at them.
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