“I don’t wanna make music any more, I said that out loud. Wow. Then I tried to stop and I didn’t know how to. Because it’s impossible to walk away from true love. Art, emotion, lyrics, music, feelings, is what I need to survive. Man that pain woke me up. It’s inside out you know? I don’t do this because I want to do it, I do because I have to. I feel everything so deeply… it’s a blessing, and a curse. And I lost my passion to create. To draw a line between business and art. I’d fallen in darkness and allowed myself to be led by fear. The fear was keeping other people happy, who didn’t ever care about me, and I was running deeper into someone and something I, I wasn’t. How did that become more important than my light? At the time I couldn’t find that question. I really thought it was more important. I’d forgotten what made me special. I was lost in what I stood for, and I was desperately trying to reach out for something or someone, but I couldn’t feel. It didn’t feel like there was anyone there, but there was. I was there.
Love was there. I was there, I never left. I just gave someone my magic, and they didn’t look after it. And in all the power I felt was lost, it was never gone. The one thing that started this whole journey could never be taken away from me – my voice. I started to just write words, and sing, just like I did when I was sixteen. No singles, no hooks, no pressure. Just me. My feelings, and being real. And I started to feel it. Started to feel it coming back. The music I said I didn’t want to make is what brought me back to life. The anger, the honesty, the heartache, the pain, the joy, the strength, the love – it all happened for a reason. The teaching and the lesson. The words I kept coming back to: Realisations, Obsessions, Sex and Empowerment. R.O.S.E.
For each letter there is a word, and for each word is a song I will share with you. I am strong enough now to let you in, to be real and to be free. My mother is called Rose. She gave me the gift of life. A rose is at its most beautiful when budding new. I rose above the pain. We give roses or a single rose a gift with so many different feelings. And this, this is my gift to you.”
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
2087
janainaart
