A Paladin... of a kind...
Ren: Say, Nora...
Nora: Nora!
Ren: Quaint. Did you... happen to notice anything strange about Jaune lately?
Nora: Lately? Like what?
Ren: The way his powers have been developing. His strange resiliences to effects not even his divinely gifted protection should be able to handle. The way his sword smites with a ghastly purple sheen around the heavenly gold.
Nora: Wait a minute... Don't tell me you only just noticed!
Ren: Noticed what?
Nora: That all the girls hanging around our fearless leader are the avatars of his patrons. Duh!
Ren: *Double takes, triple takes* WHAT?! You are telling me that Jaune, a Paladin of righteous virtue, defender of the oppressed, lifter of the fallen and warden of the wounded, is in reality a Warlock of ruinous powers?
Nora: Yeah, but also kinda no. He's definitely still the same sweet not-so-little himbo we've always known though.
Ren: *Hands on Nora's shoulders* Explain. Now. Please.
Nora: Okidoki! *Directs Ren's head to the feminine crowd around Jaune* See the raven-haired one who looks at Jaune with a smouldering eye, but at everyone else like she gonna immolate them on the spot?
Ren: Cinder, yes.
Nora: Well, she's actually C'indahr, The Fallen One and Daemon of Fire and Ambition.
Ren: I beg your finest fucking pardon?
Nora: *Ignoring her Renny* Her only ambition right now is to continue getting her guts routinely rearranged by Jaune, by the way.
Ren: You can not be serious...
Nora: Deathly serious. Speaking of which, see the shorter one, with those fascinating silver eyes that are filled with lustful longing whenever she's looking at Jaune?
Ren: Ruby?
Nora: Yup, that's actually Ru'beya, The Reaper and Guider of Souls. What'd you think was the reason so few deaths happen around us?
Ren: *Recollecting several, definitely past the realm of, near-death experiences* I... wha...
Nora: And the fiery haired one right next to her is S'Ya'ngrila, Force of Pain, Reflection and the Brightness of the Sun. Just look at her being a ball of sunshine around our best boy!
Ren: That is who Yang is?! I thought she was a fellow monk like me, only of a different order...
Nora: A monk who definitely indulges her earthly desires if the sounds of some nights are to be believed. Oh, and supposedly she and Ruby got the same mortal dad but different not-so-mortal mother. Man, lemme tell ya, I want to shake that legend's hand.
Ren: Then... what about Jessica?
Nora: That's Je'sican, Green Deamon of Hope.
Ren: Deamon?! But... but hope is supposed to be a force of good! Right?
Nora: Eh, sometimes I guess. More often it's just delayed despair. Oh, and she's also a Fulcrum of Interplanary Connections!
Ren: Wait... is that how we escaped the Fae Realm so easily? I always thought that was too extraordinary to be simple luck.
Nora: Ay-yup-yup! She didn't want the Winter Court to get their grabby grabbers all over Jaune's hot Paladin bod. So ripping a portal between realms was no biggie.
Ren: *Remembering how Jaune-centered the Schnee house's efforts were* That... still explains less than I would like. I am also getting scared to ask about Salem now...
Nora: Honestly, I'd thought she'd be the most obvious one, seeing how she's literally Salem, Queen of The Grimm Realm, Mistress of the Black Horde.
Ren: *Quietly* I thought she was a Grimm summoner with a... a bit of a fascination bordering on obsession...
Nora: Oh, she's waaaay past obsessed. Obsessed for that Arc Booty that is. She might bend Grimm to her will, but she also loves getting bent over by our golden boy.
Ren: Please do not tell me Pyrrha is a deamon too...
Nora: Pfft, no. Of course she's not.
Ren: Thank the gods...
Nora: And thank her you can! 'Cause she's the actual Pyrrha, Goddess of Grace in Battle and Destiny. She was Jaune's original patron, didn't ya know? Such a difference in composure between her being in battle and her being in bed with her Chosen One.
Ren: *Slumping to the ground* I need to sit down...
Nora: We're making camp anyway, so it's as good a time as any.
Ren: When...
Nora: When what?
Ren: When did you know all those women were all divine and/or profane in nature?
Nora: From the get-go.
Ren: *Stares in "how the fuck?"* ...
Nora: Because like knows like, of course! Naturally, they had me pegged right back at the same time.
Ren: *Dawning realisation* You... You are not just an elemental barbarian, are you?
Nora: Nope! I am North-Wrath, the Hammer that Thunders and Patron Goddess of Feasts! And your personal booping receptacle, of course! *Whispers huskily into Ren's ear* You really know how to reach my good spots after all.
Ren: *Sitting with his perspective on life and recent adventures shattered beyond recognition* ...
Nora: *Pats her Renny on the head* Aaaah... good talk, Renny. Happy to have cleared things up for ya!
