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@jaylaas-stuff
introduction for me
hi, my name is jayla. i love writing, and i’ll write almost anything except incest, bathroom stuff, or anything involving minors. i can write smut. i usually write with my oc, xav müller, but he doesn’t always have to be included. i’m multi-fandom and can write for different characters and universes.
just ask. xav says hi!
(xav drawing by @puncktoria)
i haven’t posted😕
xav’s drive back to the base is quiet, his hands stay tight on the wheel, very obviously tense. he doesn’t turn on any music. he doesn’t want noise. his thoughts are already replaying everything from the day over and over.
“it’s fine,” he mutters once.
when he finally pulls into the driveway, he doesn’t get out right away. the engine is still running as he sits there, staring ahead, hands unmoving on the wheel.
then something shifts in the corner of his vision.
it’s small.
he leans forward slightly, blinking, and his voice comes out softer than he expects. “hey.”
the stray cat is there. the same one that lingers around the base, the one that always seems to find him. not really his but it’s close enough.
and the second it notices him, it runs over, like it’s been waiting.
something in his chest cracks at the sight of it.
he opens the car door and steps out, not even bothering to close it properly behind him. he moves slower now, when he kneels down, it’s careful and slow.
the cat reaches him immediately, brushing against him.
and that’s all it takes.
his head drops, shoulders shaking as the tears start to fall. at first they’re quiet, slipping out before he can stop them but then they come faster, heavier, spilling down onto the cat’s fur. his hand rests against its back, fingers curling slightly, holding onto it like it’s the only steady thing in that moment.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers to the cat.
the cat doesn’t pull away. it stays, leaning into him.
xav leans forward more, almost folding in on himself. he feels younger again.
“i don’t know what i’m doing,”
and for a moment, he really does feel like a little boy again, overwhelmed.
his breathing is irregular as he sobs, his forehead lowering as his arms loosely circle around the small, warm body in front of him.
“i can’t do this today,” he murmurs, almost like a confession.
slowly, his breathing begins to even out.
xav exhales softly, his hand resting against its back again, gentler now.
“thank you,” he whispered.
he’s still sad.
but it doesn’t feel quite as bad anymore
the coach store was quiet and clean, shelves lined with bags and sunglasses.
xav followed micheal inside, already knowing this was about to take a while. he’d grown up around stores like this, so it didn’t faze him, micheal randomly buying expensive stuff was just normal.
micheal walked straight to the fanny packs.
“alright,” he said, grabbing one. “this one.”
he strapped the black coach fanny pack across his chest and turned to xav.
“be honest.”
xav looked at it. “…it looks good.”
before micheal could respond, an employee appeared like they’d spawned in.
“hi! welcome in! are you guys looking for anything today?”
micheal smiled politely.
“just browsing.”
“okay! well let me know if you need help with anything!”
micheal nodded.
“will do.”
the employee walked away.
xav glanced at him.
“…that was quick.”
micheal leaned closer and muttered,
“watch this.”
he immediately picked up three random fanny packs and started examining them dramatically.
the employee came back instantly.
“oh! are you comparing styles?”
micheal nodded seriously.
“yeah, this is a very important decision.”
xav looked down, already knowing what was happening.
the employee started explaining the bags.
“this one is part of our newer collection-”
micheal suddenly pointed to a completely different bag.
“what about that one.”
the employee turned.
“oh! that one is actually-”
micheal picked up sunglasses instead.
“wait actually these.”
xav covered his mouth slightly so he wouldn’t laugh.
the employee blinked.
“those are very popular.”
micheal put them on and looked at xav.
“how do i look.”
“…good.”
“like a millionaire?”
“…you are a millionaire.”
“exactly.”
the employee smiled awkwardly.
“would you like me to grab a new pair from the back?”
micheal nodded.
“yes please.”
as soon as the employee walked away, xav looked at him.
“…you’re messing with them.”
micheal shrugged.
“i’m curious.”
“about what.”
“how many questions they’ll ask.”
xav’s back story
xav grew up rich.
money was never an issue. the house was large, spotless, modern. floor to ceiling windows. polished marble. quiet hallways that echoed.
his mother, selena, was ‘perfect’. elegant in public. she knew exactly how to smile at dinner parties and exactly how hard to grip a wrist when no one was looking.
she chose her moments to scold them carefully, always when micheal wasn’t home.
he had two brothers. he would stand between them and her when he could. he would take the blame.
meanwhile, micheal adored his wife.
he worked long hours. came home with gifts. ruffled his sons’ hair. he was warm, gentle, patient.
if xav flinched, she’d say he was dramatic.
if one of the brothers cried, she’d call them manipulative.
if micheal questioned anything, she’d turn it on him, accuse him of not trusting her.
but micheal loved deeply. and love made him blind.
—
micheal came home earlier than usual.
selena didn’t know.
xav had done something small, something harmless. selena grabbed him by the arm, telling him how much of a mess he is.
and then micheal saw it.
he didn’t hesitate to pull her—
he pulled selena away from him so fast it shocked everyone. and for the first time, he wasn’t calm.
he was furious.
hours of shouting followed. doors slamming, accusations, and selena denying everything. twisting everything. crying, saying xav exaggerated. saying the boys were dramatic. saying micheal was turning against her.
xav stood in the hallway with his brothers, listening to his father’s voice break.
—
things changed after that.
not better, infact, it got worse.
micheal started watching more closely. selena became colder, quieter.
xav started planning.
he didn’t talk about it much. he just thought.
he didn’t hate his father.
he hated that his father couldn’t see the full picture.
he hated that love made good people stay.
a few months later, the brothers left.
not dramatically. not in the middle of the night.
they packed slowly. quietly. documents first. cash second. clothes last. xav made sure his brothers had what they needed.
he didn’t tell micheal the real reason.
he couldn’t bear to break him more.
he left a note that simply said:
“we need space. i’m sorry.”
he meant it.
—
that’s where xav’s people-pleasing started.
that’s where his guilt complex was born.
that’s why he stands between others and conflict.
that’s why he forgives too easily.
that’s why he hates confrontation.
that’s why he’s terrified of being forgotten.
he still loves his father though.
when xav died, one of the very few things he thought about was elara and yuk.
⸻
months later, when he finally breaks away from the jovial crew, it’s messy.
he doesn’t even know if yuk will want to see him. he has a feeling he won’t.
but he goes anyway.
⸻
the hyena base
the trapdoor slams open harder than he meant it to, climbing down the ladder miserably.
everyone turns in confusion,
xav barely registers them.
“…you look familiar..” sevena comments, “are you that one friend yuk used to bring over?”
“yes! i am! i- i just— i need to see yuk,” his voice cracks, breath uneven. “please.”
zip goes to get him.
those seconds feel longer than everything he went through before.
and then yuk steps into the room.
xav doesn’t think, he just moves, arms wrapping around him like he’s trying to anchor himself to the world.
“you’re here,” xav chokes, voice breaking. “i thought i’d never—”
yuk shoves him back.
hard.
the sound of it echoes in the room.
“don’t touch me, the fuck?”
the words hit harder than the push.
⸻
outside — the argument
it starts loud and only gets louder.
two hours of pacing, yelling, voices cracking, both of them too hurt to stop.
“you LEFT,” yuk snaps, eyes red, hands shaking. “you don’t get to just show up and act like everything’s fine!”
“i never said it was fine,” xav shoots back, voice trembling but firm. “i was drowning, yuk. i didn’t even know what i wanted- i just wanted the pain to stop for a second.”
“DO BEST FRIENDS LEAVE EACH OTHER?!” yuk yells, voice breaking mid-sentence.
xav freezes.
for a second he looks small again.
but then he swallows, jaw tight.
“do best friends only see their own pain?” he says quietly. “because that’s what it felt like. like there wasn’t room for mine.”
yuk talks over him, words spilling fast and messy.
“you think you’re the only one who was hurting? you think i wasn’t losing my mind looking for you?!”
“i know you were!” xav’s voice finally rises. “but i was hurting too, and every time i tried to say it, it turned into how it affected you.”
then the stuff he’s never said comes out.
“there were days i didn’t even want to be friends anymore,” xav admits, voice shaking. “because i was already getting pushed around by everyone else, and it felt like you just… expected me to stay strong for you too.”
yuk’s face crumples, then hardens.
and he snaps.
“FINE! then we don’t have to be friends anymore!” his voice is ragged, furious. “i’ve got my crew now anyway — and you’re with that dumbass crew i hate!”
xav’s voice goes small.
“so i was just… a second option?”
“yeah!” yuk shouts, tears streaking down his face, anger louder than truth. “i mean it!”
and he keeps going, saying things he doesn’t fully mean, but can’t stop.
“you’re annoying! and- and— IRRITATING!” yuk shouted.
pointing at every insecurity
until yuk shoves him.
“don’t come back.”
the door slams.
and xav just stands there, staring at it, like if he waits long enough it might open again.
⸻
the fight
later, when they’re forced to fight, xav doesn’t argue anymore.
he just looks tired.
yuk thinks he wants this.
yuk slams his notes angrily towards xav, treating him as an enemy.
xav dodges but never strikes hard.
never aims where it would matter.
finally, there’s one opening.
he could take the opening but he doesn’t
lets himself fall. he cant bare hurting yuk.
⸻
weeks later — the battlefield
the fight isn’t his.
he wasn’t supposed to be there.
but when he sees yuk about to take a hit from the chief, that’s too big, too serious-
he moves without thinking.
the impact shoots right through him.
he falls to his knees, yelling at yuk.
“i never wanted to leave you,” he says, words spilling fast like they’ve been trapped too long. “i never wanted to fight you! i just… didn’t know how to stay and keep hurting like that!”
his eyes find yuk’s.
still caring.
“i still care about you. i never stopped!!”
the chief lets him speak, plotting on this entire situation.
—
saving xav
months pass before anything changes..
so when yuk finally stands in front of the other chiefs, voice steady but hands shaking, it feels bigger than any fight.
“i can’t take him alone,” he admits. “i need all of you, help me save xav.” yuk says, dead serious.
⸻
the day of the raid
yuk breaks into the base,
he moves quickly as he can,
and then a voice comes from the hall.
“what do you think you’re doing?”
dulci stands there.
yuk’s jaw tightens. “move.”
dulci crunches on his lollipop, “you always were impatient…”
⸻
xav
xav doesn’t even feel himself being moved.
xav finally wakes up.
he sits up way too fast, his vision blurred and then—
and there’s yuk.
standing over him.
xav blinks hard, voice rough with sleep and disbelief.
“… yuk??.. was— were you— was it all just a bad dream?”
“save that for later,” yuk says, grabbing his arm. “there’s a raid.”
⸻
the battlefield
xav doesn’t even have his weapon.
but adrenaline is strong.
outside, it’s chaos. explodes across the grounds crews clashing, sound and movement everywhere.
martie skids to a stop beside him, breathing hard.
“you look naked without one,” he says, then hold out the chain mace. “borrow her.”
xav grabs the mace.
vyness.
even before anything between them, the weight feels right, and balanced.
he swings once.
the impact shakes up his arm but lands perfectly.
“yeah,” martie nods. “you got it.”
⸻
after
the battlefield quiets slowly,
xav lowers the mace, chest heaving. letting vyness go.
he looks around,
then at yuk.
“…we did it.”
yuk looks back at xav, grinning at him for the first time in years.
but his eyes drift past yuk, to vyness, shifting back to her original puppet form, rolling her shoulder like the fight was just a workout.
“hold on,” xav says.
he jogs over, a little awkward, still catching his breath.
“you were insane out there,” he tells her, genuine awe in his voice. “like — seriously. thank you.”
vyness smirks, brushing dirt off her sleeve. “you swung me right. that’s rare.”
xav laughs, shy, rubbing the back of his neck.
then he turns back.
yuk’s still standing there, already talking to the rest of the crew.
⸻
the make-up
“i meant what i said before,” he murmurs. “i never stopped caring. even when i was mad. even when it hurt.”
yuk and xav talk for a few minutes.
xav gives a small, crooked smile. “so… we okay?”
yuk rolls his eyes, but his voice is relaxed.
“yeah, i guess.”
the sky’s gone dusky blue, the last bit of sun sinking into the water like it’s being swallowed whole. the beach is quieter now. wind brushing over the sand, waves rolling in slow and steady.
xav’s sitting with his legs stretched out, palms pressed into the sand behind him. yuk’s beside him, knees up, cigarette between his fingers. he lights it, takes a drag, then holds it out.
xav takes it. inhales. exhales toward the ocean.
“…remember how we first met,” yuk says.
xav hums. “you were loud.”
yuk scoffs. “you were sitting there like a ghost.”
xav smiles faintly at that. “you were intimidating.. but when the crew left you, i thought you were gonna ditch me.”
“i almost did,” yuk admits. “you didn’t say a word.”
“…you kept talking anyway.”
they both chuckle, quiet.
the cigarette gets passed back. yuk flicks ash into the sand.
“you couldn’t skate for shit,” yuk says.
“i could,” xav argues softly. “just… not fast.”
“you ate pavement in the first five minutes.”
“…yeah.”
xav remembers it anyway. the concrete warm from the sun. the sound of wheels rattling. yuk laughing too loud. the way he offered a hand without making it a big deal.
they sit there, watching the water darken.
“we used to skate until our legs gave out,” yuk says. “no phones. no plans.”
xav nods. “we’d just… go.”
“…miss that,” yuk admits.
“me too.”
the wind picks up. xav pulls his jacket tighter. yuk notices, shifts closer without saying anything, blocking the breeze.
xav glances over. doesn’t comment. just leans back into the sand.
“…you ever think about how different we were,” yuk says. “back then.”
xav thinks for a moment. “yeah. but… i think we were quieter. lighter.”
yuk smirks. “you were still awkward.”
“…yeah,” xav says, smiling. “but i wasn’t tired yet.”
that lands.
they sit in it. the ocean breathing in and out.
yuk crushes the cigarette into the sand when it’s done. watches the ember die.
“…glad you didn’t bail, even when i did.. stuff,” he says.
xav looks out at the horizon, where the water meets the dark.
“…me too.”
they don’t say anything after that.
the night settles
xav shifts first. not to leave, just closer. their shoulders brush.
he freezes like he might pull away.
he doesn’t.
yuk notices, breath hitching just slightly. he turns his head, stops halfway, unsure. “can i?” yuk asks.
xav’s gaze stays on the horizon. but his voice comes out low. “…it’s okay.”
that’s all it takes.
yuk leans in slow, giving him time to change his mind. the kiss is soft, barely there. more a press than anything. salt and smoke and the faint warmth of skin. it lasts maybe a second.
when they pull back, neither of them move.
xav’s heart is racing. he stares at the water harder, cheeks warm, breath uneven. yuk swallows, jaw tight, like he’s afraid to say the wrong thing and break whatever just happened.
yuk is silent.
xav looks at him, warmth and admiration in his eyes.
they sit there like that, shoulders touching, the ocean watching
(tax and paperwork registration day, the hyena crew are older, around 40s/50s)
this shit makes no sense,” yuk snaps, raking a hand through his hair. “why the fuck are there so many boxes. why do they want the same information three times.”
xav looks up from where he’s sitting nearby. already tired.
“…it’s tax and registration paperwork,” he says gently.
“yeah well it’s bullshit,” yuk growls. “i’m not doing it.”
papers are spread all over the table. some upside down. some crumpled. a pen gets flicked across the surface in frustration.
xav steps closer, glances over the forms.
“…it’s just paperwork,” he says gently.
yuk glares at xav “then you do it.”
there’s a beat.
xav hesitates. not because he can’t but because he knows exactly how long this will take.
“…okay,” he says anyway.
yuk mumbles under his breath, walking away, while taking out his lighter to go smoke.
xav gathers the papers and carries them to his room
that night, he sits at his desk.
lamp on. chair pulled in close. forms stacked neatly to one side, laptop open on the other.
he reads everything. twice. sometimes three times.
he fills in boxes carefully, pen moving slow and deliberate. pauses often to double-check numbers, dates, spellings. his jaw tightens the longer it goes on.
“…why is this formatted like this,” he mutters under his breath.
hours pass.
xav doesn’t move much except to rub his eyes, stretch his fingers, or lean closer to the page. his shoulders start to ache. his neck stiffens.
he keeps going.
eventually, he finishes the last page.
he stacks the papers. aligns the edges. taps them lightly against the desk until they’re perfect.
done.
the relief hits him all at once.
xav leans forward without thinking, resting his arms on the desk.
just for a second.
—
he wakes up suddenly.
face on the desk.
cold.
wet.
he lifts his head slowly and sees it.
drool. right there.
“…oh my god,” he whispers, mortified.
he grabs tissues immediately, wiping the desk, dabbing the corner of the paper like it’s fragile evidence. checks to make sure nothing’s ruined. smooths everything out again.
he sits back, hair a mess, eyes half-open, staring at the stack.
“…nobody can know,” he mutters.
early morning comes fast.
xav showers, changes, and walks into the kitchen where yuk is already up, grumpy and half awake.
without a word, xav sets the paperwork down in front of him.
finished. organized. clipped.
yuk blinks. “…you did it?”
xav nods, quiet. “…yeah.”
yuk flips through it, impressed despite himself.
“…damn,” he says. “you’re a lifesaver.”
xav looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.
xav measures everything twice. three times. rewrites notes. unpicks seams if they’re even slightly off. his glasses slide down his nose while he pins fabric to a mannequin labeled, in small handwriting
days later, he shows up at yuk’s shop with a plain garment bag.
yuk barely looks up from the car.
“what’s that.”
“clothes,” xav says. monotone. quiet. “for you.”
yuk looks away, back at the car. “really.”
xav just hangs the jacket on a hook, “yeah.”
yuk keeps working. five minutes pass. ten. then he glances at it, touches the sleeve, frowns.
“…this shit heavy.”
“yeah,” xav says. “won’t tear.”
yuk tries it on like he’s doing xav a favor. rolls his shoulders.
“…damn,” yuk mutters.
xav pretends to look at his phone.
yuk points at him. “don’t get cute. i ain’t saying thank you.”
“you don’t have to,” xav says. “just… wear it.”
never says a word about it again.
it was always yuk who stayed.
lighting cigarettes he smoked.
they’d known each other too long for honesty to be easy.
the night it broke, it was raining. the crew was out that night, missions finished. noise finally gone.
xav was in the kitchen, washing a mug that didn’t need washing.
yuk watched him from the doorway.
“you ever get tired?” yuk asked.
xav paused. just for a second.
“…yes.”
“you don’t act like it.”
xav shrugged. “someone has to keep going.”
that was when yuk frowned. bitter. not amused.
“you always say shit like that,” he said. “like you’re already gone.”
xav didn’t turn around. the sink kept running.
“…i’m still here.”
“are you?” yuk snapped.
silence fell hard.
yuk stepped closer. too close, pressing xav.
“you let people use you. walk over you. hurt you. and you just— take it. like you think that’s all you’re good for.”
xav finally turned. his expression didn’t change, but something behind his eyes dimmed.
“…that’s not true.”
“then why do you never choose yourself,” yuk snapped again. “why do you never choose me.”
xav swallowed.
“…you didn’t ask.”
yuk stared at him like he’d been shot.
“i shouldn’t have to,” he said. “i’ve been here. every time you fall apart. every time you pretend you’re fine. i pick up the pieces and you don’t even look at me.”
xav’s hands trembled. just barely.
“…i didn’t want to need you.”
yuk scoffed. “yeah. god forbid.”
xav’s voice dropped. quiet. honest in the worst way.
“if i let myself… i wouldn’t survive it,” he said. “i already give everything to everyone else. if i gave you what i feel, there’d be nothing left.”
yuk’s sympathy drained out of him all at once. what replaced it was worse, he was angry now.
“…so i’m just another thing you deny yourself?!” he yelled angrily.
xav didn’t answer.
that was the answer.
yuk stepped back.
“okay,” he said. “then i’ll stop fucking waiting.”
the words shattered something in xav’s chest.
“…yuk—”
“don’t,” yuk said. “don’t talk to me, you bastard.”
he turned for the door.
xav moved without thinking, grabbing his wrist. not hard. desperate.
“…please don’t leave,” he whispered.
yuk didn’t look at him
“don’t fucking touch me.” yuk said. “you only ask when i’m already gone.”
he pulled free, aggressively
the door slammed loudly.
xav stood there long after the rain stopped, realizing too late that caring for yuk had never been the thing that scared him.
nothing ended,
yuk didn’t cut xav off. just stopped talking to him willingly.
the space between them grew in millimeters. harmless looking. lethal over time.
xav noticed it in small ways.
yuk stopped sitting next to him, always a chair away.
stopped asking
stopped lingering when conversations ended.
he still showed up. still answered calls. still fought beside him.
but the warmth was gone.
xav told himself it was fine.
days turned into a week, they learned new routines that didn’t include each other the way they used to.
sometimes, late at night, xav would hear yuk laughing in another room and feel something twist in his chest.
he wanted to go to him. say something. anything.
but the words never came out right in his head. they always sounded like need. and xav didn’t allow himself that.
the crew didn’t notice at first. then they did, but no one said anything. some things felt too fragile to touch.
one night, after a long mission, yuk came back hurt. not serious, but enough.
xav was at his side immediately, hands gentle, focused, familiar.
“hold still,” he murmured.
yuk instantly got defensive.
“i’m fine.” yuk pushed away.
xav didn’t look up. “no, you need help.”
“can you just— fuck off?!” yuk pulled away farther.
“but i-“
“can you just leave me alone, damn?!”
that made xav pause.
yuk frowned.
xav insisted anyway.
when xav finished bandaging him, yuk stood up.
for a second, just a second- xav thought maybe this was it. maybe yuk would stay. maybe he’d sit down. maybe the space would close again.
yuk hesitated.
then he left.
unc yuk and xav oneshot
yuk’s car broke down, xav and yuk are trying to figure out the problem with the car.
xav’s crouched by the wheel, socket wrench spinning like he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“okay, so if i loosen this, the belt should realign,” xav mutters.
yuk glances over. “see? that’s what i was gonna say.”
“liar.”
“what? I DID.”
xav pulls the belt, adjusts it carefully.
yuk leans in. “did ya get it?.”
“yeah,” xav nods.
they work side by side, barely talking, just the sound of metal and clinks.
yuk breaks the silence. “remember when you tried to fix your truck with duct tape?” he cackles.
“it worked.”
“i could’ve fixed it, ya know?”
“it worked though. 🤷♂️”
xav tightens the bolt. “try it now.”
yuk hops in, turns the key.
engine starts smooth.
“damn. we did good, huh?” yuk says.
“team effort,” xav says quietly.
they fist bump, greasy hands and all.
“you’re not useless,” yuk grins.
“never was.”
they stand back, admiring their work.
yuk: “we should open a shop.”
“why not?”
“i hate people.”
“too bad lol”
now they’re just chilling, leaning against the car, sipping on sprite from the same cup, and yuk lights up his cigarette, ash falling to the floor.
yuk: “we’re like the best duo.”
xav: “always were.”
xav chuckles and sips the sprite quietly.
“let’s go get food, yeah?” xav says, confidently.
yuk grins, “hell yah, im hungry.”
chapter 2: elara and xavs relationship evolution
they don’t jump back into anything.
no “i missed you” kisses.
no cuddling.
no pretending everything’s fine.
just texting.
“did you eat?”
“yeah. cereal.”
“that counts.”
“barely.”
small stuff.
safe stuff.
weeks pass.
they talk on the couch.
it’s awkward as hell.
xav keeps stirring his drink even though there’s no sugar left.
“you don’t have to be nervous,” elara says.
“i am anyway.”
she nods.
“me too.”
they talk about nothing important.
work.
weather.
some dumb video she saw.
then silence hits.
“i’ve been trying not to replay that night,” she admits.
“but it still pops up.”
“same,” he says quietly.
“does it still hurt?”
“yeah,” he answers.
“but not like before.”
she looks relieved.
“good.”
they don’t hug when they leave.
just a small wave.
⸻
after that, they start talking together sometimes.
not long.
ten minutes.
twenty.
“i almost snapped at someone today,” elara says.
“but i didn’t.”
“i’m… proud of you,” xav replies.
“i walked away instead.”
“that’s growth.”
she laughs.
“look at you sounding mature.”
“i guess.”
⸻
months later.
they’re more comfortable.
jokes come back.
not flirty.
just familiar.
xav finally says it one night.
“i’m scared to hurt you again, elara.”
“me too,” she admits.
“but i’m more scared to never try.”
pause.
“we don’t have to rush, okay?” he says.
“i don’t want to.”
they sit on that.
⸻
first real hangout again.
not a date.
just food.
they sit on the hood of his truck.
fries between them.
“remember when we used to argue over playlists?”
“you have trash music taste.”
“see? still toxic.”
they laugh.
then it goes quiet.
elara looks at him.
“do you still love me?”
xav hesitates a bit, a bit caught off guard, but real.
“yeah.”
“i love you too.”
“but—”
“we’re not rushing,” she finishes.
“i know.”
they don’t kiss.
just sit closer.
shoulders touching.
⸻
slowly..
they start holding hands again.
nothing crazy.
just… fingers brushing.
xav pulls away once.
“sorry… i panicked.”
“it’s okay,” she says.
“thank you for telling me.”
that alone feels different.
healthier.
⸻
one night they argue again.
small.
dumb.
but it starts heating up.
xav stops himself.
“i don’t want this to turn ugly, i’m sorry.”
elara exhales.
“me neither, i’m sorry too.”
they both go quiet.
“can we reset?” she asks.
“yeah.”
that moment?
that’s when they both realize
they’re actually changing.
⸻
eventually…
they’re back together.
it just… happens.
xav slowly comes back out of his shell.
slow.
slowly the light in his eyes start reappearing.
they still have scars.
but now they talk about them
instead of throwing them.
⸻
one night in bed:
“i’m glad we didn’t give up,” elara whispers.
“me too,” xav says.
“even when it sucked.”
“especially then.”
they fall asleep like that.
chapter 1: elara and xav’s relationship progress.
the argument started over nothing.
dishes.
elara left them in the sink again.
xav notices. says nothing. washes them.
she walks in.
“you could’ve just told me.”
“it’s fine.”
“no,” she scoffs.
“you’re doing that thing.”
“what thing.”
“the quiet martyr thing. where you pretend it’s okay and then hold it inside.”
he keeps scrubbing.
“drop it, elara.”
“no,” she says.
“because you always drop things until they explode.”
he slams the plate down.
“what do you want from me?”
“honesty.”
“i am honest.”
“no,” she laughs bitterly.
“you’re passive.”
that word hits.
“passive?”
“yeah. you never stand up for yourself. ever.”
“that’s not true.”
“you let people walk all over you,” she says.
“me included.”
“maybe because i don’t wanna fight!”
“or maybe because you’re scared,” she fires back.
“scared of conflict. scared of losing me. scared of everything.”
his hands shake.
“you think i’m weak?”
“i think you hide.”
he turns.
“so now you’re insulting me?”
“i’m telling you what i see.”
“what you see,” he laughs.
“you don’t see me at all.”
“then show me.”
“i shouldn’t have to perform for you!”
“you shouldn’t shut me out either!”
their voices rise.
soren peeks out of his room. backs away.
“you want the truth?” elara snaps.
“sometimes i feel like i’m dating a ghost.”
that one.
that one is cruel.
“say that again.”
“you disappear,” she says.
“mentally. emotionally. you’re here but you’re not.”
“because every time i open up you throw it in my face.”
“no i don’t.”
“you do!” he yells.
“you use it when you’re mad!”
“maybe because it’s real!”
“or maybe because you know it hurts!”
she freezes.
“so now i’m manipulative?”
“yeah,” he spits.
“sometimes.”
silence.
thick.
“wow,” she whispers.
“that’s what you think of me?”
“i think you get cruel when you’re hurt.”
“and you get cold,” she shoots back.
“you make people feel abandoned.”
“don’t.”
“like your parents—”
“don’t,” he warns.
“—like how they left you to deal with everything alone.”
that’s crossing a line.
“don’t talk about them.”
“why?”
“because it explains you too well?”
his face changes.
“you don’t get to use that against me.”
“i’m not,” she lies.
“i’m just saying—”
“you’re just hurting me,” he says quietly.
“good,” she snaps.
“now you know how it feels.”
that breaks him.
“so you want to hurt me?”
“i want you to feel something.”
“you’re sick.”
“and you’re empty.”
that’s it.
“get out.”
“what?”
“get out of my face.”
“this is my house too.”
“maybe we should break up,” she blurts.
“maybe we’re toxic.”
he looks at her with terror, and fear. like he’s never before, then his face slowly contorts into anger.
“now you wanna leave?”
“you’re not good for me!”
“neither are you!”
“i loved you,” she sobs.
“but you’re killing me.”
“then go,” he says.
“leave like everyone else.”
“don’t put that on me!”
“you just did!”
she grabs her jacket.
“i’m done.”
“good.”
she stops.
turns.
“i regret meeting you.”
that’s the knife.
“…get out.”
door slams.
⸻
aftermath
they don’t speak for weeks.
they avoid each other.
elara stays out late.
xav doesn’t sleep.
they pass like strangers.
soren is tense.
azerin is trying to stay out of their drama.
ozric watches silently, knowing this is going to affect their performance and mental health. but he wont do anything yet.
⸻
the damage
xav starts thinking:
maybe she’s right
maybe i am empty
maybe i ruin people
elara thinks:
maybe i went too far
maybe i can’t fix this
maybe love shouldn’t hurt like this
chapter 1: the things we survive quietly
xav didn’t expect the new town to feel so… heavy. everything looked normal, but it didn’t feel normal. still, he tried. public school, new start, clean slate.
first day, he accidentally bumped into a guy at the community center.
“watch it,” yuk snapped.
xav immediately bowed his head. “oh— i’m sorry. really, my bad.”
yuk paused. he wasn’t used to that. most people argued back. he muttered, “whatever,” but felt weird about it.
the next day at school, some kids started whispering about the “new kid.” yuk, without thinking, shut it down.
“leave him alone.”
xav noticed. they didn’t talk about it, but after that, they stuck together.
first week goes fine… until science class.
group of three.
enter: haru.
awkward, nervous, eyes always darting. he overshared when stressed. people called him creepy. rumors everywhere. yuk instantly didn’t like him.
“no. not him,” yuk muttered.
xav side-eyed him. “dude… he’s just a kid.”
haru nervously smiled. “um… hi.”
xav tried to be friendly. “so, how was your day?”
haru hesitated, then blurted, “i found bones in the woods.”
yuk: 😐
“what.”
“like… human. i think. but i don’t know. i panic at blood.”
xav remembered finding haru once—bruised, bleeding after getting jumped. he’d helped him up that day. so now he felt responsible.
after class, xav guilt-tripped yuk into hanging out with haru.
“just once,” xav said. “please.”
“ugh. fine.”
xav warned him, “don’t bring your skate.”
yuk did anyway.
they went to the woods.
instead of bones… they found deer corpses hanging in a circle. in the center— a skull.
haru stared, fascinated. “we should report this.”
then—
a sound.
something ran.
huge. wrong. screeching.
they scattered.
yuk screamed like his life depended on it.
haru froze.
xav didn’t think. he threw haru over his shoulder and sprinted.
the thing chased them.
xav reached the road and threw haru forward, forcing momentum.
“RUN!”
they barely escaped.
yuk was shaking. hyperventilating. “we—we have to call the cops!!”
xav held his face. “no. they won’t listen.”
their parents called police anyway. they got detained. accused of drugs.
haru tried explaining. they brushed him off.
weeks later, a quiet guy approached xav.
rey.
apathetic.
“i heard about the woods,” rey said. “i think i can help.”
he showed xav a photo. evidence.
xav gathered the group. something was wrong with the city. missing persons. patterns.
they went back to the woods— everything gone.
cult signs. erased.
then yuk overheard his priest talking about killing teens.
he ran to xav’s house, crying.
“he said… they need sacrifices.”
the priest killed yuk’s grandpa. covered it up.
at the funeral, the priest stared at yuk.
“leave the past behind,” he whispered.
then rey’s sister died.
then xav’s mom.
xav snapped.
he beat the priest at the funeral. got arrested. haru bailed him out.
“we need to leave,” haru said.
rey knew a way.
but first— rey.
on the way, rey chased a dog that stole a photo, a photo of his sister. it led him to red-caped people in the same forest… chanting.
he overheard:
“haru. yuk. xav.”
their names.
targets.
rey ran to warn haru.
they lured them into church.
yuk was already in the church before rey and haru came,
haru slipped a note into yuk’s pocket during a fake fight.
they got separated.
locked up.
haru and rey tried signing.
yuk finally read the note.
rey stole a key.
called xav.
“we’re gonna die in a week.”
xav pretended to join the cult to get inside.
four days of psychological torture.
yuk almost broke.
haru whispered, “we can run. start over.”
yuk nodded.
night of the ceremony.
rey slipped the key.
they ran while chanting echoed behind them.
“sacrifice… sacrifice…”
they booked it to the train.
the cult chased them.
a woman ratted them out.
the train sped up.
xav jumped first.
then yuk.
haru barely made it.
rey slipped.
haru grabbed his hair and yanked him up.
xav grabbed rey’s arm and pulled.
they barely caught the cargo.
the train roared forward.
silence.
they were shaking. crying. laughing.
they escaped.
together.
the train didn’t feel like freedom.
it felt like a coffin on wheels.
no one spoke. their clothes were ripped, hands shaking, lungs still burning. yuk stared at the floor the whole ride, replaying the priest’s voice in his head. haru kept checking everyone’s pulse like he didn’t trust reality yet. rey sat stiff, eyes blank, counting screws in the metal walls. xav stared out the sliver of window like he expected red cloaks to appear any second.
they didn’t stop shaking until sunrise.
they got off in a random town. no money. no plan. no phones. just four kids who were supposed to be dead.
haru finally whispered,
“we… really left.”
xav tried to smile. it came out wrong.
⸻
news spread.
the priest was “murdered.”
people said xav did it.
memorials. candles. speeches about “a good man lost too soon.”
xav threw up behind a gas station when he saw it on a public tv.
“they’re praising him,” he muttered. “he killed my mom.”
no one knew what to say.
⸻
weeks passed.
they squatted in abandoned buildings. stole food. avoided cops.
yuk stopped sleeping.
every noise made him flinch.
one night, he snapped.
“THIS IS YOUR FAULT.”
xav froze.
“you made us go! you made me hang out with him! if we never went to the woods—”
his voice broke.
“my grandpa would still be alive.”
xav didn’t defend himself.
he just nodded.
“you’re right.”
that hurt worse.
⸻
haru started having nightmares.
he’d wake up screaming about deer hanging from trees.
about hands grabbing him.
about chanting.
he couldn’t look at churches anymore.
once, he saw a priest and threw up on the sidewalk.
⸻
rey found files online.
missing kids. past decades.
same pattern.
same pastor names.
same coverups.
“it’s bigger than our town,” he said quietly. “we were just… the ones who noticed.”
that made it worse.
they weren’t special.
they were next.
⸻
one night, police showed up.
not cult.
real cops.
someone reported “runaway teens.”
they scattered.
yuk tripped.
xav went back for him.
they hid in a drainage tunnel while sirens screamed overhead.
yuk sobbed into xav’s shirt.
“i’m so tired.”
xav whispered, “me too.”
⸻
they lost haru two days later.
not dead.
just… gone.
note left behind.
i’m sorry
i don’t want to be hunted anymore
i love you guys
they searched for hours.
nothing.
xav blamed himself.
rey punched a wall until his knuckles bled.
yuk didn’t cry.
he went silent.
⸻
weeks after, they heard rumors.
a body found near a river.
no face.
couldn’t confirm.
they never told yuk.
he still believed haru ran away.
xav didn’t correct him.
coward.
⸻
rey started getting followed.
same black car.
same street corners.
he said nothing.
until one night he didn’t come back.
xav waited all night.
morning came.
rey didn’t.
another note.
keep running
don’t look for me
they’re closer than you think
xav crumpled it.
it felt like dying slowly.
⸻
now it was just xav and yuk.
two ghosts.
no cult.
no home.
no family.
just trauma and guilt.
one night, yuk finally asked:
“why didn’t they take you?”
xav swallowed.
“maybe… they wanted me to watch.”
they sat in silence.
the world kept moving.
nobody cared.
the cult was still out there.
winning.
⸻
xav stared at his hands.
blood had dried a long time ago.
“i don’t feel like a hero.”
yuk laughed weakly.
“you’re not.”
pause.
“…but you stayed.”
xav nodded.
“i’ll always stay.”
even if it kills him.
yuk pulled into the burger king parking lot way too fast, the car lurching forward as he slammed the brakes.
“yuk..” xav muttered, hand flying to the dash. “you drive like you hate the road.”
yuk barely heard him.
because the building was covered in naruto promo banners.
giant cutouts. bright orange. ninja poses. a massive naruto face smiling down like it was judging everyone who walked in.
xav froze.
then, his eyes actually lit up and his lips parted slightly.
“…no way,” he said under his breath.
yuk slowly turned his head. stared at him.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?” yuk said.
xav straightened in his seat. “it’s just-“ he cleared his throat. “they usually don’t do this level of branding.”
yuk leaned closer, squinting at his face. “your eyes are literally sparkling do you need medical help?”
“they are not,” xav said, quietly and offended, but he was already unbuckling. “they just reflect light.”
yuk snorted. “yeah sure xav-ey.😏”
inside of the building, it was worse.
xav walked slower than usual, he stopped in front of a display with the toys.
he stared.
yuk leaned against the counter already looking at the sweet stuff on the menu, completely forgetting about xav and his fanboying situation.
xav swallowed.
“…do you think,” he said quietly, not looking at him, “that it would be weird if i asked for the naruto toy?”
yuk looked at him.
then he cackled.
xav’s ears turned red immediately. “i just- i mean- if they have it..”
yuk was already hyping himself up, bouncing on his skates. “nah nah nah, you don’t get to be shy about this. you want the toy? you’re getting the toy.”
he turned to the cashier, “HEY. MY FRIEND HERE” he threw an arm around xav’s shoulders, nearly shaking him “IS A HUGE NARUTO FAN.”
xav froze. “yuk—”
“AND,” yuk continued proudly, “HE WANTS THE TOY. PLEASE.”
the cashier blinked. smiled. “which one?”
xav leaned forward slightly, eyes flicking to the display. “…the sasuke one. if you have it.”
yuk stared at him. “…of course it’s sasuke☠️”
when they sat back in the car, xav held the small toy carefully.
yuk started the engine, shaking his head, already diving into his food.
xav glanced down at the toy, then out the window, trying to hide a small smile.
“…thank you,” he said, very quietly.
(yuk’s character was a bit out of character sorry☹️”
college au shenanigans
it’s past 2 a.m. when the door finally slams.
xav flinches awake on the couch, phone sliding from his chest. the apartment smells like the candle xav lit up earlier. yuk stumbles in loud, unsteady.
“why are you still up?” yuk snaps.
xav sits up slowly, carefully. “you’re drunk. you should go to sleep.”
that’s the wrong thing to say.
yuk scoffs, pacing, knocking into a chair. “don’t tell me what to do.”
“i’m not,” xav says quietly. “i’m asking you to stop before you hurt yourself.”
yuk let’s out a hollow snarl, and grabs the nearest thing on the counter. a glass bottle.
“you always act like you’re better than me!”
xav stands now, hands open, heart pounding. “yuk. put it down.”
it happens fast.
too fast.
the bottle swings, not full force, not aimed right but enough. it hits xav’s cheek, shatters against the wall. glass falls across the floor.
xav fumbles back with a sharp breath.
there’s blood, already stinging.
for a split second, yuk looks horrified.
then his face twists again, angry, and defensive.
xav grabs yuk’s wrists, hadd, not to fight just to stop him. his voice shakes “that’s enough.”
yuk jerks, trying to pull away. “let go.”
xav releases him immediately.
xav steps back. swallows. and locks himself in his room.
the door clicks shut.
inside, xav puts a towel to his face, hands shaking.
morning comes too early.
xav wakes up to the sting on his cheek and jaw.
he washes them carefully— but he’s angry, he just swallows it down.
when he steps into the kitchen, yuk is already there grabbing his stuff to leave for the day, not looking up. sober now.
xav waits.
nothing comes.
“i get it,” xav says finally, voice flat. “you were drunk.”
that’s all.
yuk doesn’t look at him. his jaw tightens. shame crawls up his neck.
yuk mutters something under his breath, something inaudible.
xav nods once.
xav is completely aware he’s much stronger than yuk but he chose not to fight back.
he just grabs his bag. “don’t do that again.”
yuk still doesn’t look at him.
xav walks out
angst with yuk and xav❤️🩹
the room was too quiet.
yuk sat on the edge of the couch, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing in particular. he wasn’t shaking. wasn’t crying. just… still. jaw tight, shoulders a little too straight.
xav stood nearby, not sure where to put his hands. he hated this part, when yuk wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t give him something to fix.
“…you okay?” xav asked softly, already knowing the answer.
yuk shrugged once. “yeah.”
it was a bad lie, a tired one too.
xav swallowed, then moved closer and sat beside him, knees almost touching. he glanced at yuk’s face, the way his eyes kept blinking a little too fast.
“don’t do that,” xav said quietly.
“do what?”
“pretend you’re fine like it’s nothing.” his voice cracked a bit, and he cleared his throat fast. “you’re gonna make me cry too, you know that?”
yuk let out a short breath, almost a laugh, but it died halfway. his hands came up immediately, covering his face.
“…don’t look,” he muttered.
xav didn’t. he just leaned in and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close, forehead resting against yuk’s shoulder.
“i’m not,” he said.
for a few seconds, nothing happened.
then yuk’s shoulders dipped. just barely.
xav felt it, the way yuk’s breathing went uneven, the tiniest sound caught in his throat. not sobbing. trying not to.
xav’s own eyes burned. he pressed his face into yuk’s hoodie, voice muffled.
“see? now i’m crying too. this is on you.”
yuk huffed weakly, almost a laugh. still hiding his face but he didn’t pull away.
more highschool/college au bc i love that series
the hallway between second and third period was packed. lockers slamming, people yelling over each other, the usual california chaos.
xav and yuk were literally just walking.
xav had his backpack slung over one shoulder, scrolling on his phone, half-asleep. yuk was skating beside him on beat-up rollers, weaving around people like it was a game.
“bro if you get us written up—” xav muttered.
yuk said, grinning. “im still gonna skate anyway.”
that’s when it happened.
someone shoulder-checked xav hard from behind.
xav stumbled forward, barely catching himself against a locker.
“watch where you’re going, pussy,” the guy said, loud enough for people nearby to hear.
xav froze. his jaw tightened. he turned slowly.
“i didn’t even touch you,” xav said, voice calm but thin. “just keep walking.”
the guy smirked. wrong move.
he shoved xav again, harder, this time straight into the lockers.
metal rang down the hall.
before xav could even fully react, yuk was already spinning around.
yuk snapped. “tf? fuck you doing allat for?!”
the guy barely had time to register what was happening before xav grabbed the front of his hoodie and slammed him back into the wall.
once.
twice.
the guy swung.
yuk dropped his skates.
literally dropped them.
“my turn,” yuk said cheerfully.
he tackled the guy from the side, sending all three of them crashing to the floor. backpacks flew. people screamed. someone yelled “OH SHIT” from down the hall.
xav was up first.
he grabbed the guy by the collar again and shoved him into the lockers so hard the door popped open and textbooks spilled everywhere.
yuk jumped in immediately.
and when i say jumped in-
i mean took turns.
xav pinned him.
yuk threw a wild punch.
xav yanked him back up.
yuk kicked his legs out from under him.
“TAG ME IN,” yuk yelled.
“you’re in.” xav snapped back.
they were absolutely not coordinated.
yuk was yelling the entire time.
“THIS FOR YESTERDAY, BY THE WAY—”
slam
“AND FOR TALKING CRAZY—”
thud
xav was quieter.
“should’ve left it alone,” he muttered, shoving the guy one last time into the wall.
security came running.
professors yelling.
someone’s phone hit the floor, still recording.
“HEY- HEY- BREAK IT UP!”
yuk finally backed off, hands up like he was innocent.
“what? he touched my friend,” yuk said, dead serious.
xav stepped back too, chest heaving, knuckles sore.
the guy slid down the lockers, groaning.
silence.
then..
“both of you,” the guard barked. “detention. one week.”
yuk groaned. “what? he LITERALLY shoved my friend!-“
xav rubbed his face, exhaling slowly. “it’s fine, yuk.”
as they got dragged away, yuk shoved the teacher off him, leaned over and whispered:
“we lowkey got his ass.”
xav didn’t even argue.
he just nodded.