Apologies for my ignorance but what is your plan B if something happens to your husband? God forbid that anything ever happens to good people of course
Thank you for asking. My Plan B is that my husband already made one.
I'm not going to post private numbers or details on tumblr, but he's made sure I would be protected through insurance, investments, beneficiary planning, and a larger family/community safety net.
And yes, that includes the hard questions: what if he died? What if something terrible happened? What if the marriage somehow failed? Those're painful things to think about, but serious people do think about them.
That said, Plan B isn't supposed to replace Plan A.
Plan A is marrying a serious man, within a serious moral and spiritual framework (ours is Catholic), and treating marriage as a lifelong covenant instead of a disposable arrangement. It means choosing as carefully as possible, building a peaceful home, taking vows seriously, regularly forgiving each other, guarding against resentment, and not letting the marriage slowly rot from neglect.
Nobody is perfect. No system is perfect. Life will always involve risk. But the answer to risk is not pretending men and women don't need each other. The answer is prudence: build the strongest marriage you possibly can, and also have contingencies if life goes terribly wrong.
That was the older model too. Wives were never supposed to be left alone to improvise after tragedy. The safety net was layered: husband, family, church, fraternal/community organizations, and public widow/mother aid where it existed.
If a woman had none of that, life could be very hard. She might have to move in with family or relatives, work, take boarders, rely on church charity, seek widow aid, or remarry if her system of faith allowed for it.
So my honest answer is: Plan A is a serious marriage. Plan B is prudent provision. A woman should want both, and not simply trade one for another.
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