Unbetitelt

💗welcome to my messed up life💗

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I will fuck1ng romanticize my life and not eating shi

I feel like that makes me be more feminine and better and it also gives me hope to make it worth it

Btw I did not weight myself today in the morning I’m afraid of it because I binged yesterday 😞

Anyways…..stay hydrated people 💗

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

How much weight will I lose if I don’t eat for a month

[shewasfallingdownarabbithole-de]

not for long tho

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I need meanspø everyone, if u see this pls comment some

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I binged all day… fuck me and my life

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

Good morning everyone (literally no one because my blog is new 👀)

My cw: 153,6 lbs

gw: 100 lbs

I start fasting now but I have a very bad feeling….like I want to binge again😞

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I was fat and thin

I was anorexic and bulimic

Now I am binging since last October

Before I lost 14kg

Went from 70kg to a light and good life

Then I gained back and weight 70 again… also gained depression

I am losing myself more and more every day

I am embarrassed in front of everyone and my family

I hate my body my mind and my behavior

I was fasting since 4 days and now I binged I feel so bad and ugly and disgusting

Something tells me to sometimes end it all but what for? What about my future and my family….?

I belobe that it’s just a bad phase of mine, because I’ve never had one till now, but from year to year everything gets worse….

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

*You are disabled

* Have control-brother

* Rule your life-brother

* Disgusted look from brother

* Side eye mom

* Do some sports xy -dad

* it’s enough stop eating-dad

* dad tells me at break that my mum said that I got fat

* eat!….stop eating god !

* Noo! Leave the rest for your brother

* Side eye brother

* 👀 everyone observed me while I am eating

* Dad looks at my legs in leggings with disgust

* Mom looks at my legs in outfit (same reason)

* Pants do not fit

* Legs in leggings stuck together

* No crop top

* Everything is tight

* Arms too fat

* Work shirt does not fit

* Clothes too tight

* Ankle Looks bold

* Breathe loudly

* Round face

* Too many pimples

* Face with double chin

* Jawline away

* sausage fingers

* looked at for fat legs

* Boys have been looking at me in disgust for months

* No reaction when I want something from others

* No boys

* No requests

* Condescension by looks from friends

* They say they are thin nor me

* Unwell every school morning

* Unmotivated to go to school

* That's why I want to skip school so often

* ,,only today"

* Rich men only marry pretty thin women

* My partner must be thinner than me - a boy told me

* (touches belly)

* Bloated stomach

* Cannot sleep on stomach

* Legs stick together when sleeping

* Legs rub against each other when I walk

* Walk slower

* face swollen

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I will samtart fasting again twr….

Rules: only water and tea, gum, my pills, and if I feel like giving up Coke Zero

AND WALKING AS MICH AS POSSIBLE ON MY TREADMILL😩🫡

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I binged today after 5pm….

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

The fat people at the bakery always act as if they are buying food for many people but if u just look at them you will know that they will stuff their face with the croissants and cakes at home…. when I am preparing their food they always look so happy and exited when they see the food….it’s so embarrassing…. imagine you are the client and people think like that about you…. you are fat and ugly and so unstylish 😒🤨

So better keep going, I think to myself…. Because I don’t want to end up like them….

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I work in a bakery and patisserie 🧁 🥐….

and we always have the clients who buy all that sweet stuff and they are all so fat…

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

What I allow myself to eat rn:

Coffe (no sugar or milk but oatmilk if I want)

Chia seeds in oatmilk or water

Cold tea 🍵

Every tea without sugar (green, peppermint,…)

Coke Zero ofc 😍

Zero calorie and sugar drinks 🥤

Vitamin pills 💊 (zinc, omega 3, vitamin C,B12,…) cause I want my hair to be healthy or have something left of it 👱‍♀️

Water🫢

Gums 💗

Avocado (did not have it till now but if I feel like giving up or I want to binge I will eat it because it is filling for me 🥑)

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

My banned foods

-pasta

-bread (I love to eat it sm)

-croissants 😩

-nutella

-chocolate

-milk

-creamer

-rice

-the food of my mum 🍱

-cheese

-mozzarella

-noodles

-meat,chicken,….

-fruit high in carbs(bananas or apples or oranges and …)

-yogurt

-honey

-latte macchiato cocoa drinks

-no zero drinks

-fruit juices

-processed food

-…..

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

[jdjsjjsjsjsjjsjs]

I’m new here, hope I find moots… anyways It’s the 4th day of my fast but I consumed chia seeds, oat milk, vitamin 💊too. I focused on moving around and just walking very much.

#edtwt #