GENESIS
The name itself says it all, you the beginning and the realization. Ironically you’re the person that I found myself I keep on coming onto.
7th graders, puppy feelings can’t even call it love because there’s a confusion but there’s the certainty on it, my group message is always sent to only one and it’s you to be honest I don’t like sending messages I’d be playing zelda those times. Our connection for me was unmatched it’s my first time taking the test long because of you. We yapped so hard that the lunch break cut off has arrived. and we’re still stuck in our test papers.
We listen to same music playing Crush and Touch My Hand so classic one of our faves through our flip phones that made a little noise while we rested on our table; it’s hard to explain but we’re like that on that moment. Funny because I can’t forget that even though I’m still confused maybe it’s a core memory of mine etched in my heart.
Being your seatmate was the best in my highschool life I just regretted moving seats when issues arose like I don’t wanna be on a spotlight so I voluntarily moved and avoided you for couple of months. I was conflicted I hate the rumors that I like you but at the same time I don’t wanna be apart from you. Gladly we found ourselves back again but not that close but still good.
8th of grade when you stole my handkerchief and put me on jail in the classroom they made a little noise mocking us in a bit of romantic way and I flustered like I kinda’ liked it. I never thought that would be the last of ours I was sick that time, not going to school, grades dropped and I went on lower section on the next school year the rest is history no interaction between us until 10th grade.
10th grade is where you became interested on my bestfriend in 9th grade both of you became classmates and I became interested to a guy called Go not our batchmate though the brother one. During that time my best friend like another guy but that guy was already in a relationship so I told him that she should give you a chance because you’re a nice guy and I can really vouch you for him. You became a thing with her, and I 100% supported it.
1st year college, things did not work for the both of you and when I saw you at CAS night as a participant there’s a sparked I felt I always told some of my friends the only regret is never had a serious feelings for you back then because I was too young and confused and wasn’t certain about you. Years passed and I saw you at my cousin’s social media post, or vice versa. You both became close and every time I see your photos with him there’s the regret feeling of mine.
4th year of college when you reacted to my profile photo like the heck typing this I don’t know why I still remember it. I was actually into someone but I still felt a spark when you liked my photo. I wasn’t even sure when’s the year you followed my insta but swear it’s an unexplained spark.
During that year I was busy tanking my thesis alone and probably you are also busy in your prime engeeniiring years there are times where I see you at jeep we ride on same route but I dont have the courage to talk to you since i felt like we really lose our connection and that regret has continued when I started to work.
Moving forward for what it is right now and feeling at peace with calmness and silence, I realized one thing that no matter whose person i go with or ina relationship with or no matter how long i was separated in you, or haven’t seen you, or no contact, i will still going back to you. Took a long long years to this feeling of genesis “ah it was love at all”