obsessed with the fact that hannibal is technically a horror show but half the fandom watches it like it’s a slowburn romcom with occasional cannibalism

seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States

seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia

seen from United States
seen from Russia

seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China

seen from United States
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seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
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seen from Türkiye
obsessed with the fact that hannibal is technically a horror show but half the fandom watches it like it’s a slowburn romcom with occasional cannibalism
what a dystopian ass premise for a romcom
MELT INTO YOU .݁༉‧ 정국 .
pairing : downbad! bf jungkook x bratty! gf reader.
all you wanted was a little attention from your nerdy boyfriend and you hate to take a ‘no’ for an answer, so you decided to test his patience like a bratty minx and get pulled into a corner as a consequence. english lessons left unlearnt as jungkook studies something else instead, you.
genre : tooth rotting fluff, light smut, slice of life.
warnings | tags : making out, hickeys, bratty oc, football captain jk, hot nerd jk (oh yes), everybody wants him but he wants you, established relationship, sneaking around, loverboy & lovergirl, mutual pining, nicknames, kissing, light grinding etc
word count : 2.3k+
time seemed to have been running extra slow today as your english professor yapped about a boring, antiquated poetry analysis. some of the students were being attentive while the remaining were busy in their own world. you fell into the latter category,
as your eyes drifted down to the football field right outside of the classroom, your thoughts were captured by the school’s football captain, who was also the top ranking student and basically the ace of everything known to mankind,
it was none other than your very dear boyfriend, jeon jungkook.
you wondered what he was up to?
jungkook was from a different department and therefore you guys barely had any classes together. that left you to only expect his presence during the weekends.
however, last weekend you apologetically canceled the date he arranged for you both because you had to take some extra lessons.
what a pity.
right now you were expecting to see your guy in a wet tank top, breathing out heavily, covered in his musky scent while sweating profusely and winning against his opponents down in the green field but sadly enough, it was all empty.
the breeze of early april blew your hair soothingly and all you wanted was to see your pretty boyfriend’s face, maybe count all his cute moles down and make up for the canceled date.
“—so that being concluded, we shall start with the new topic—“
blah. blah. blah.
the words out of the professor’s mouth made no sense whatsoever. you assumed that he wouldn’t be done until another half an hour so maybe you could indulge in a distraction which was something other than daydreaming about your tall, broad and obnoxiously loving boyfriend.
so you bit your lips slightly while sneakily taking out your cell phone out of the blazer’s pocket. the screen lighted up as you scrolled down to jungkook’s contact.
y/n : ‘babyyy i miss you’ 💞
and as if the universe had heard your longing, he replied instantaneously,
koo : ‘miss you too’
y/n : ‘meanie, where’s my heart?’ 😠
koo : ❤️
y/n : 🙄
y/n : ‘where are you right now?’
koo : ‘i’m at the library’
y/n : ‘can i come see you after class?’ 🥺
koo : ‘sure but don’t you have any extra lessons today?’ 🤨
y/n : ‘i do…but’
koo : ‘no buts baby. focus on your lessons, we’ll meet on saturday’
y/n : :((
you couldn’t quite process the fact that you had to survive another two excruciatingly long days without your boyfriend’s presence. the mere thought of it made you pout.
“ahem…miss y/n are you using your phone in class?”
you jolted up from your daydream immediately upon being startled by your professor’s strict voice.
“—shit”
you banged your knee against the wooden desk accidentally when you tried to sneak your phone back inside the pocket,
but alas! it was too late. professor choi and everybody else around already caught you with the small device.
“out of my class, NOW..!”
you sulked internally at first but then quickly realised what this meant.
you could now go meet your dear boyfriend,
FINALLY!
so you got up from your seat with a little smile and marched up to the class entrance smartly,
but obviously you weren’t born with that sort of good luck,
“wait a minute miss y/n” and you were stopped by the teacher,
“hand over your cell phone and i expect to see you after class” he strictly commanded and held his hand out.
you groaned miserably and rolled your eyes, but handed the phone over anyway.
(as if you had any other choice)
ofcourse you knew that he wasn’t going to let you off so easily but well, atleast you were now free from the boring lecture.
while skipping down the stairs which lead towards the school library, some of the students acknowledged your presence and bowed at you respectfully, while others waved a greeting.
they knew that you were their captain’s beloved girlfriend.
the popularity you gained after you got into the relationship couldn’t be denied. jeon jungkook was never afraid to publicly flaunt you. he always found his way to kiss you after every match, every win, every single event and you would always be right there to cheer him on and support his performance.
some people admired you both while others felt jealous and you were kind to those who were kind to you.
upon entering the campus library, you scanned the quiet room with hopeful eyes, expecting to see your sexy-nerdy boyfriend with his nose buried in some thick book.
but to your sheer disappointment, he was found nowhere in sight.
the library was mostly empty with one or two students lingering here and there but thankfully you spotted a guy from his department and decided to enquire him,
“hii! have you seen jeon jungk—“ you were cut off mid sentence when you heard a loud “SHUSHHHHH” echo from near the librarian’s desk.
“sorry” you whispered back sheepishly and pushed yourself inside an aisle.
how embarrassing.
the long narrow passage made its way between the bookshelves only to connect with another such row. hundreds of books were stacked neatly from top to bottom, exhaling a fresh woody smell.
you sighed in dismay as you didn’t even have your phone on you.
you couldn’t contact jungkook or anyone else per se.
however, when you were just about to leave, a hand reached out and pulled you to a corner,
“oh my god who—“
“shh be quiet”
a familiar musky vanilla scent filled up your nostrils when a soft hand clasped your mouth shut.
your towering boyfriend pinned you against a corner bookshelf and raised his questioning eyebrows at you,
“what are you doing here?”
you couldn’t help but smile sweetly against his warm palm upon hearing the question.
he slowly pulled himself away and stepped back, demanding relevant answers from you.
“i got kicked out of class” you shrugged your shoulders.
“you WHAT?” he lowered his raised voice and glanced around at the almost empty library to check if anyone had heard him.
“relax, i got caught using my phone, nothing serious” you licked your lips and tucked a messy strand of hair back behind your ear. “i didn’t get detention though”
jungkook sighed in relief and shook his head before leaving you abandoned altogether.
he bent down and picked up a few books from the floor.
and now that you noticed, you saw books of various genres and sizes scattered across the floor messily, surrounding you and your boyfriend.
“what are you doing?” you asked when you saw him arranging them on the shelf.
“i volunteered to help the book club” jungkook spared you no glance as he busied himself again.
he analysed the book on his hand and then proceeded to place it neatly under the designated section before bending down again to pick some more books up and repeating the cycle.
you pouted at the sight because you were expecting to spend time with him.
your feet also hurt from standing, so you looked around for chairs but unfortunately found none. therefore, you made yourself comfortable on top of a table situated infront of the shelf, only after running a finger on it to check if it was dusty or not.
jungkook briefly glanced at you before continuing on with his boring job,
“i missed you” you said, breaking the numbing silence.
this particular corner was aloof from the rest of the shelves, which you thanked god for, because if you were caught sitting on top of a table, you’d surely end up in detention.
“mhm” he hummed softly but his hands still working efficiently at arranging the bookshelves.
you weren’t bothered because of that but by the fact that he paid you no attention! how could he possibly do that? and being the stubborn girlfriend you were, you had no plans of stopping before getting what you desired.
“class was so boring and you are… even worse” your failed attempt at ragebaiting only earned you a raised eyebrow from jungkook.
“yeah?”
“mhm but i’d rather be here because you’re more handsome than mr. choi” your legs hung loosely from the height of the table as you kicked off your shoes one by one.
jungkook laughed a little and picked up another book, clearly unbothered.
you realised that you had to return back to class in a few minutes and the clock was ticking constantly. now, getting a little frustrated at the lack of action, you reached one of your stocking cladded foot out to rub against the back of his thigh teasingly,
“what are you doing?” jungkook pretended to act confused.
“how long are you going to do this? you’ve done enough” you smiled innocently.
he kept the books down and leaned against the shelf, folded his big arms to look at his pretty girlfriend,
“i volunteered to do this” he replied back promptly,
“why don’t you volunteer to do better things?”
jungkook raised his eyebrows teasingly. “like?”
“like paying attention to me, making me feel better” you whined.
“hm… i didn’t realise you were feeling bad” he replied with a small annoying smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. but to your relief he finally got rid of the books he was holding and made his way towards you.
“naughty girl” he pushed your plush thighs apart and stood in between them. you could smell his expensive perfume and took a better look at his beautiful face.
he brushed your hair away from your face and wrapped his arms around you fondly.
you puckered your lips, “don’t you love me?”
jungkook threw his head back in laughter and reached for your knee to rub soothing circles on them, “i’m sorry, you are so cute” he placed his warm lips on your cheek.
a toe clenching smile broke out on your face and you ran your fingers up his nape, reaching the ends of his luscious dark hair.
“i’m sorry for bailing out last weekend, please don’t be mad at me” you said in a small voice.
“i’m not mad” he looked at you tenderly “i could never be mad at my princess”
you giggled softly at your nickname, “you aren’t?”
he shook his head against your shoulder. the tip of his nose, rubbing teasingly on your neck.
a shiver ran down your spine as jungkook smirked to see such an effect on you.
“so responsive as always” his hands went ahead to palm your sides.
“shutup” you tried to hide your face from him but failed miserably when he reached out to turn your jaw towards him.
“yeah?” your lips connected together with his finally and a tingling sensation made your toes curl up as you wrapped them up behind his waist.
“mhm” he kissed you breathlessly, entering his warm tongue inside your mouth, entangling with yours.
you moaned softly at the feeling but jungkook teasingly pinched your waist, “quiet babydoll”
the table was wide enough to accommodate both of you and you gasped loudly when he hovered on top, laying you back on the hard surface.
you breathed heavily on his mouth before it went descending down your sensitive neck, and wrapped your legs around his frame tightly.
“stupid buttons” he fiddled with the buttons on your shirt impatiently and tugged few of them open.
then he latched his soft lips on the flesh to suckle his mark on you.
“that feels so good” your whimpers seemed to have been working jungkook even more up as he palmed your clothed breasts while leaving red and purple marks all over your neck and cleavage.
“tell me what you want doll” he breathed out heavily.
“w-want you” a red flush ran across from your cheeks, down to your cleavage and if jungkook were to pop open your cute cotton bra, he would find it across your boobs as well.
he felt his pants tightening up when you brought him back to your lips, to lazily make out while running your fingers up and down his back.
“we can get caught baby” his words felt bitter on his tongue and you sighed sadly.
however, you guys didn’t let go of eachother for another few minutes, sloppily kissing and grinding.
he slowly pulled you up and stood in between your legs. his hard on was nudging your thigh when he fixed your messy skirt which was bunched up from the previous activity.
you smiled shyly at him and buttoned your shirt up.
“can we meet after school today?” you asked cautiously, “please?” you added.
“sure”
you smiled widely and did a little celebratory dance.
“i’ll pick you up at 7 then” jungkook laughed heartily at your celebration.
he then helped you down the desk, only after kneeling down to fasten your shoelaces.
“don’t forget to bring your books”
you nodded at him profusely.
“i love you kookie” you pecked him on the cheek and tucked some loose strands behind your ears shyly before leaving the small corner, now smelling like soft vanilla. exactly like him.
“i love you more precious”
jungkook whispered back and watched you skip through the aisles with a giddy smile laced on his lips as well.
★ notes by buzzyjoonie : hiii lovelies! TYSM for liking and reblogging my previous oneshot ‹𝟹 it makes me wanna write more and more T-T !! also, lmk your thoughts on this one >ᴗ<
⤷ taglist : @mikrokookiex
⤷ follow for more | requests open ♫
WARM SAFE PLACE
PAIRING ➩ eddie hicks x reader
WC ➩ 15.6k
SUMMARY ➩ College in NYC seems like it’ll be your biggest life change yet, until you meet the touchy sophomore who thinks you’ve hung the stars.
AUTHORS NOTE ➩ talk abt niche… this is my own interpretation of this terrible movie lol so totally new characters and kind of a new life for the character that is Eddie! it’s meant to read as a typical 2000s romcom set in the big city with montages and a killer soundtrack so i hope you can envision it! NOT PROOFREAD smut below
The city had been just about everything you dreamed off.
You’d been a real touristy cliche, stumbling out of a taxi with a box of your belongings and your heart set on conquering the big apple. College had always been a part of your plan and you would sit in your childhood home, surrounded by the woes of suburbia, and tell yourself that if it wasn’t far away then you didn’t want to go.
You were happy to be a stereotypical freshman girl from a small town, navigating the streets of New York with a smile and too big of a heart.
Your time between classes got spent reading down in the park or trying out local coffee shops, taking the train across town just to find your way back to campus without a map. You wanted to know the city like the back of your hand, even if it took getting lost and missing lectures a few dozen times.
Everything was going exactly as it should be.
Eddie wasn’t necessarily a part of your planned out future, in fact he was pretty close to the opposite of something you would have prepared for.
He had stuck out to you from the moment you saw him, getting far too rowdy in the back corner of a bar your new friends had dragged you along to.
It already wasn’t your scene, you hadn’t been to a place with people like this back home, and the added volume from the drunk boys definitely didn’t help.
One of Eddies friends had noticed one of yours and made his way over like a snake through the tall grass, shoulders bumping carelessly with the other tipsy patrons that didn’t even spare him a glance.
She seemed to like him enough, especially when he bought you all your first round of drinks like he wasn’t on a college kids budget, and fate was practically sealed from then on out.
You didn’t really talk to Eddie much that first night and you figured he wouldn’t have remembered it even if you had, already slurring his words and laughing loudly at his friends jokes before he even made it over to get introduced to you all.
He had scanned over each new face as your names were rattled off by your friend that was now pressed against the side of his own, eyes a little glazed like he wasn’t really registering the difference between them all.
And then he reached you.
You watched his gaze pass you by and then immediately falter and bounce back in your direction, sticking on your features even after the other names began to follow yours.
You’d flushed and looked away, eventually making your way outside and bumming a cigarette off of some older woman outside who looked about as haggard as you felt. It made you cough, chest itchy and sore from the unfamiliar feeling, but you were halfway determined to be the type of girl who smoked under the rush of the city.
You hadn’t thought much about the boy and the backwards cap, even though his friend started to make an appearance weekly.
It became clear pretty quickly that things were getting serious between him and your friend, halfway roommate considering how often you escaped the dorms in favor of sleeping on her couch.
The merging of the friend groups was slow but then permanent as soon as it became a reality. Suddenly Eddie Hicks was at every social event you attended, as big as a party in somebody’s parentless townhouse and as intimate as a movie night with just the four of you.
There were plenty of words people used to describe Eddie and you weren’t necessarily a fan of any of them. He wasn’t exactly stupid he just didn’t care about his studies as much as your average peer and he certainly wasn’t as immature as others might think he was based off of a drunken night or a brief public interaction.
You thought he could be really sweet when he wanted to. His voice would get soft when it was just the two of you and he’d talk a lot more with a much lower level of volume, rambling about small subjects you didn’t really understand and showing you he had more depth than getting wasted and jumping into the fountain on campus.
He’d lose that softness when others were around and you felt a little thrown off the first few times he did it before understanding it was just how he presented himself.
It was easier for him to be the party boy that didn’t get embarrassed or nervous in a crowd.
You liked to be around Eddie and he wasn’t shy about showing you that he felt the same way. He was almost constantly at your dorm, knocking lightly at the door and encouraging you to come outside with him as soon as you would answer.
That was your favorite part about him, other than the general comfortability you had started to feel after the first few months. He loved the city more than you, more than anybody else you’d met since you’d first stepped out onto the busy streets.
Not many people around you had actually been born in New York but Eddie was a city boy down to his core. He still went to eat dinner with his mom at his childhood apartment twice a week, taking the train thirty minutes across town without hesitation, and he had barely left the zip code area he was born in before college.
He thought it was sweet that you liked to get a little lost so he wouldn’t correct you when you went on your adventures together, letting you find your way back home despite the fact he knew it was the wrong way almost every single time. You’d take a glance at his face when you would board a train car, groaning and hiding in his shoulder when you realized you had messed up again and feeling the way his frame vibrated as he laughed.
The touchiness was a whole different ballgame you weren’t sure how to navigate with him.
Honestly, you hadn’t even noticed it. It just felt natural for you to gravitate towards each other in a crowd, his hand on your lower back or yours wrapped around his arm to make sure neither of you strayed too far from the other.
You’d press up against him during movie nights and he’d let your ankles lock together, playing with your fingers absentmindedly as he watched. You fell asleep together often on long study nights or at more lowkey house parties, his head in your lap or you resting against his chest and dozing off on his shoulder.
Eddie was your friend and you liked to be around him. You weren’t exactly an expert on boys so you didn’t think much of it until everybody else started to point it out.
At first it was curious glances between the two of you and then it was full out teasing confrontation, openly commenting on it in front of both of you despite how awkward you’d get.
“She’d never go for a guy like me.” Eddie would reply with a goofy grin like it was the easiest answer in the world, his arm going around your shoulder and shaking you softly for emphasis.
You would laugh and smile fondly but it made your chest feel a little weird and tight. You figured he was just being nice, playing it safe and rejecting you but making it sound like it was for your sake.
It could be blamed on your inexperience, the lack of willing suitors back in your hometown who didn’t get to see you in your college prime, or just plain denial. You assumed that if Eddie happened to like you then he would be just as eager to let you know as his friend Alex had been that first night at the bar with yours, immediately coming over to her and not leaving her side since.
But you weren’t too upset about it because you liked to be Eddies friend more than anything, even if it got a little confusing occasionally.
Now you were right back at the same bar almost nine months since the first time, pushing your way through the crowd with only a mildly disgusted look this go around. You’d started to get used to it along with the rest of the city and its liveliness.
You still felt a rush of relief when you got through the mass of bodies and saw your friends at the back table, your favorite drink already in the empty space besides Eddie.
You easily slid into the spot next to him, barely getting out a soft greeting before he was turning to look at you and wrapping his arm around your side.
“We thought you weren’t going to make it.” Sarah was frowning slightly like the idea was a lot sadder than it was in reality due to her already tipsy state.
You liked Sarah quite a bit despite how different the two of you were, her large apartment paid for by her parents and closet full of designer clothes painting a much different picture than your own humble upbringing. She let you crash on her fancy couch when your dorm mate was being obnoxious and occasionally gave you any tops she grew out of so you figured she liked you quite a bit back.
“I missed the train.” You replied softly even though she wasn’t even really listening to your reply, going to say something you couldn’t pick up to Alex.
You turned to Eddie instead who already seemed to be waiting for your attention, hand resting lightly on your side as he pushed your drink in your direction and watched you take a slow sip.
“Again? I thought we got that down by now.” He didn’t miss the opportunity to tease you for your lack of direction and you rolled your eyes.
“It was busy okay? I got a little bit distracted and it just flew past.” You explained over the noise, faltering between sentences to slightly grimace at his cigarette smoke that was floating in the space between your faces.
He didn’t hesitate to put it out when he saw your expression, waving the air to clear the rest of it and easily catching your weight when you leaned against him in thanks.
“You totally missed it.” Sarah was suddenly speaking up again and smacking a perfectly manicured hand down on the sticky table in front of you. “Eddies been trying to get the bartenders number all night.”
Your eyes went across the crowded bar to find the woman in question, definitely a few years your senior and intimidating enough that you quickly looked away before she caught you staring. You glanced at Eddie next to find him glaring at Sarah, eyebrows furrowed and his free hand turned up like he was questioning her
“Not going well?” You attempted to ask it as causally as you could, like you were just a friend equally as invested in your buddies attempt to pick up a pretty girl as everybody else.
You could feel his hand twitching against your side and you were suddenly hyper aware of the touch that normally came so natural to the two of you, stepping to the side just enough that he would have to awkwardly stretch to keep touching you.
He dropped his hand and gave you an almost guilty look before shaking his head.
“She’s just messing around.” He tried to smooth it over and that almost made you feel more upset.
You felt like this was the worst case scenario, Eddie somehow realizing you might feel something towards him and pitying you so much he felt like he needed to lie to keep your feelings from getting hurt.
“He’s been sitting here sulking all night waiting for you.” Alex was chiming in with an attempt to make things less tense but neither of the dismissals were helping especially now that your mind had gone to less than kind places.
“I’m going to get a fresh drink.” You managed to get out, sending them a tight smile before pushing your way back into the crowd. You vaguely heard Eddie saying something sharply, most likely directly at Sarah, but you were suddenly grateful for the loud music and voices to keep you from overhearing something you wouldn’t like.
You were leaning against the bar after requesting a drink, waiting patiently with your hands tapping on the wood, when you felt him behind you.
You didn’t need to look to know who it was and you had expected him to follow you regardless, sighing softly when you felt his arms go around you from behind. You let yourself get tugged back gently until your back was against his chest, your own hands reaching near your stomach to hold his wrist.
“Want me to get her number for you?” Your eyebrows raised as you looked at the bartender who was moving from section to section smoothly, feeling him tense behind you.
Now it was his turn to sigh and his forehead rested against your shoulder for a brief moment.
“Stop it, you know I wasn’t flirting with her. I don’t think I even talked to her.” He started to defend himself and you were once again wondering why he felt the need to, if it really just stemmed from pity and a friendly attempt to save you some dignity.
“It’s fine if you were Eddie.” You shrugged and you heard him let out another huffy breath at the words. “I mean it. You can have fun on a night out.”
“I have fun when you’re here.” He said back quickly and it was slightly muffled considering his face was now pressed against your shoulder like he was planning to hide in your neck.
Your drink got placed in front of you but you ignored it for a moment, turning to face him and rubbing your hand over his ribs and chest as he let out a deep breath of possible relief.
He’d told you before how much your touch made him feel better, whispered it in a quiet room when he was positive nobody was listening.
Your nose rubbed against his and his eyes fluttered shut when your lips brushed together, never fully touching but ghosting along just enough for the thought to cross your mind. His hands had moved to your lower back to keep you tight against him but you weren’t planning on going anywhere regardless.
You pulled back just enough so you didn’t accidentally kiss him, his eyes opening and looking a bit more dejected than beforehand.
“Let’s go back.” You said softly and he hesitated but nodded eventually, grabbing your drink for you and guiding you back to the table with a hand on your waist.
You and Eddie were always like that but you were suddenly unable to get used to it.
You were hyper aware of everything, including the looks Sarah and Alex would give each other whenever they saw the two of you standing closely or touching casually. His hands felt hot on your skin and you could barely stomach rubbing over his arms softly without feeling those nearly painful butterflies.
It was starting to feel that awful right now, sat on the couch together like you’d done dozens of times before.
Your legs were sideways over his lap, sides pressed together with one of his arms behind your back to support your weight and keep you from falling against the couch. His other palm was between your thighs right above your knees, just resting there in the warm skin of your closed legs.
You had one hand in his curls and the other on his arms. It was probably your most default position for watching a movie but you felt like it was beyond intimate right now, trying your best to try ignore the way it made you think and react so you could stay close to him.
The door was opening and you barely glanced up at Alex and Sarah coming in, grocery bags in hands and mid laugh like they always seemed to be.
She sent a look your way but didn’t say anything just yet although you tensed with the anticipation. It was a few more minutes before they got the food put away and came to join you in the dimly lit living room, plopping down on a loveseat and eyeing you curiously for a moment.
“Okay seriously, what’s going on with you two?” She asked abruptly and you sighed softly, already assuming she was going to pry as soon as she saw the way you were curled around each other.
“We’re friends.” You offer her the same line you always do even though you’re aware of how ridiculous it comes across when you’re holding each other like this.
Eddie doesn’t help much at all, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head that you’re half convinced he did just to drive her a little more crazy.
“This is hard to watch.” She sighs and sinks lower in her seat just in time to miss the handful of popcorn you throw in her direction.
Thankfully she doesn’t say anything else after the light teasing although Alex gives Eddie a wiggle of his eyebrows before getting his own spot for the movie, your eyes rolling once you catch it.
It’s almost constant lately but you really can’t blame them for their confusion considering you barely understand your relationship yourself.
The next week, you’re studying in his room, lying on your stomach in his bed and flipping through pages while you try to pretend you don’t feel him staring at you. He doesn’t even shy away when you glance up and raise an eyebrow, just giving you a soft smile and continuing watching you even when you go back to your textbook.
Eventually it starts to drive you so crazy that you have to set the book down to really stare at him.
“Hi Ed.” You keep your voice light and he finally leaves his place on the floor to come and join you on the small twin sized mattress, sitting up beside where you’re still flat on your stomach.
“Hey.” He sounds softer than normal, definitely distracted and maybe a little lost in thought.
His hand comes up to brush some of your behind your ear gently before he’s moving it lower, letting it rest on your lower back. He swipes his thumb right where the fabric of your tank top had ridden up, warming up your skin with his own.
You sigh blissfully and fold your arms in front of you so you can rest your head on them.
“You okay?” You nearly whisper and his eyes leave your back for a quick second to check your face before he’s back to staring at the area he’s touching.
“I’m… really really okay.” He says back and it’s still a bit far away sounding which makes you laugh lightly.
The air felt heavy and charged in a way you weren’t really used to and when he went back to watching your face, you almost thought he might lean down and kiss you.
You both jumped when the door swung open, intimate bubble popped immediately as Sarah and Alex burst in and barely acknowledged the fact they hadn’t even attempted to announce themselves before coming in.
Alex was sending you both a curious look and you focused back in enough after your shock to register that Eddie had taken his hand off of you rather quickly, still looking a bit suspicious with the off guard look he had on his face.
“Great news.” Sarah’s smile was bright and it was almost hard to be annoyed at her for interrupting when she seemed so excited, bouncing a little in her kitten heels and clasping her hands together in front of her. “I’ve got you both double dates for the poetry show tonight.”
“Sarah set it up.” Alex added on, she beamed like he was praising her but you figured he just wanted to shift the blame away from himself as soon as possible.
Neither of you said anything but you glanced at Eddie after a few long seconds to find him already watching you.
“No.” His voice was firm but calm, decisive despite not really having a reason to decline.
Sarah’s face fell immediately and she dropped her hands to her sides.
“But why not?” She asked desperately and shifted so she could kneel on the carpet beside the bed and really give you both a good view of her puppy eyes. “Please you know how much I love playing match maker and they’re both looking forward to it.”
“Alex.” Eddie spoke again in slight warning and your eyes went back and forth between each of your friends, trying to get a read on the silent conversation that seemed to be happy.
“I think it’s a good idea.” Alex shrugged and that made Sarah start to smile again. “And it makes her happy so.”
You didn’t realize you were frowning until you felt the familiar hand back on your skin, rubbing softly and drawing your attention right back to him. Eddie was staring at you in a way you really didn’t understand but you figured you could file it alongside the other mysteries you had surrounding him.
Sarah’s soft voice saying your name sent you spinning again, eyes meeting hers and slumping your shoulders in light defeat.
“You’ll do it?” She nearly gasped, hands reaching out to squeeze your arm.
“I mean I guess.” You sighed out, feeling terrible about disappointing her and also not being able to think of a legitimate reason you didn’t want to do it that wouldn’t immediately expose your weird feelings for the boy next to you.
Speaking of, he was getting up almost as soon as you voiced your confirmation. You tried to tune out Sarah’s excited squeals and the way she was squeezing your arm, watching as he left his own bedroom with a deep set frown.
Despite his initial refusal, the triple date ended up happening a few hours later.
You weren’t sure what Alex had said to get Eddie out of the apartment because you were too busy being dragged back to Sarah’s so she could give you a makeover.
Clearly it hadn’t been enough to get a smile on his face because he had been uncharacteristically stoic the entire night.
The bar had a much calmer crowd, soft spoken poetry replacing the usual loud music and sports television. Eddie still had never been this quiet during a night out and you felt overly guilty for agreeing to this arrangement and dragging him out in the process.
Your date was nice enough. He was supportive of the poets and asking you questions about yourself, putting your drinks on his tab and trying his best to get any type of positive response from you.
You’d given him your best attempt at a polite smile for the past two hours and your cheeks were starting to ache. You figured Eddie didn’t have the same issue because he hasn’t so much as grinned even once, instead awkwardly staring at you from across the table in an overly noticeable way.
His date was chatting his ear off enough that she didn’t even seem to notice his intense glare in your direction but yours surely did, shuffling in place nervously as he failed to understand the situation.
She was grabbing his arm and giggling obnoxiously every time she managed to get a small response from him even though they were few and far between.
“You’re liking the city so far?” Your date, maybe Zach something, was tilting his head to try and get your attention back on him and not the way her nails were curling around Eddies forearm.
“Yeah I…” You trailed off and cleared your throat, glancing at him and giving an apologetic smile. “I actually need to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
You were pushing away from the table before he could manage out a reply, taking fast steps to the dimly lit hallway and pressing your back against the wall as you took a few slow breaths.
It wasn’t too surprising to hear the footsteps following right behind yours, the soft touch wrapping around your wrist as his frame moved in front of yours.
Eddie didn’t look at all like his usual goofy self, face far too serious for somebody as completely the opposite. You sighed in light relief when you felt him touching you and that only made him do it more, arm going around the small of your back and his forehead pressing against yours.
It was quiet for nearly a minute as you just stood there, your palms on his chest and the muffled sounds of a poem about grief coming from down the hallway.
“I can’t do this.” His voice was so quiet that you barely caught it but it still made you frown.
“Why not Eddie? She’s nice and she seems to like you.” It was hard to get out but you were trying your best to be supportive of him.
“Are you kidding me?” His eyebrows furrowed and he took a step back just enough so he could really see your face as you spoke. “I don’t care if she’s nice. I don’t want her.”
The word he chose to emphasize wasn’t lost on you and for the first real time, you let yourself think this might be about you. It was always in the back of your mind but that insecurity and fear of losing him kept it quiet, not wanting to let yourself feel any hope incase the disappointment that followed was too crushing.
“Ed.” You sigh softly and rub your hand from his chest to his shoulder.
He leaned down to bury his face in your neck and you fully wrapped your arms around the back of his so you could hug him tightly.
“I can’t watch this anymore.” He said eventually and that nearly confirmed it for you but you were stuck with that fear.
You couldn’t bear losing him, not while you were still surrounded by the city around you that he stemmed from. It would be a constant painful reminder of the good thing you had lost and you were in desperate need of this good thing.
Eddie was one of the best friends you’d ever had and you would happily, although torturously, never be anything more if it meant he stayed with you.
That fear was even more obvious to you when he was picking his head back up to really look at you, your noses rubbing together in a familiar way but with an unfamiliar tension hanging over your heads.
You could see the moment he decided to risk it all and your entire body locked up.
“Don’t Eddie.” You stopped him just as he was staring to shift his face closer to yours and his expression dropped.
He didn’t move away right away but you could see the way it stung him. You frowned with guilt and brought your hand up to cup his jaw, grateful when he nuzzled into it without any hesitation.
He may be hurt by your premature rejection but he still craved your touch and that made you feel much better.
“It’s okay.” You shift forward to kiss his cheek as you hold his face. His eyes are closed blissfully and his hands tighten around you at the contact. “Let’s go tell them bye.”
It was awkward to go back out there together and tell them bye as a pair, your dates sending you and each other confused looks while Sarah gave you a long disappointed stare.
You knew she didn’t mind the idea of you and Eddie together, in fact she encouraged it actively in the beginning, but she also was aware of your hesitance and she knew you well enough to know nothing had happened in that hallway. You were still choosing to waste the chance to spend a night getting to know a nice guy, just to go home with Eddie and stay in the same limbo.
You gave Zach a light hug goodbye but Eddie didn’t even bother with a parting wave to his date.
You waited until you got on the train back towards his apartment to bring it up, both of you standing on opposite sides of a pole.
“She was sweet.” You said softly and his eyebrows furrowed again for what felt like the dozenth time that night. “You could have been nicer.”
He winced and his shoulders slumped at your gentle scolding, looking a little guilty. Eddie wasn’t at all a rude guy, even when he got a little too rowdy to remember his manners. He was notably friendly and a good time so it was out of character for him to treat somebody so coldly.
“She was nice.” He agreed casually and now you took a long pause.
“She wanted to bang you.”
His face scrunched up at the idea of it as you both swayed with the sudden lurching of the train car departing.
“Yeah, no way.” He was shaking his head in disagreement and you eyed the way his curls had gotten a little bouncier after a long night. “She was flirting, yeah but.. I don’t know.”
“Why not?” You asked it with a tilt of your head like you were genuinely curious despite the fact you figured you knew his answer by now. He leaned back against the wall of the train car and crossed his arms, giving you a slightly disbelieving look. “How long’s it been since you hooked up with somebody?”
It wasn’t something you talked about even though you seemed to talk about everything else. You knew Eddie had a past of casual flings with a lot of girls, you’d heard it from Sarah after her first few times around Alex.
But you never actually saw the playboy antics yourself. He was at the college for a whole year before you even got there and either he had given up on the life style coincidentally as he became a sophomore or there was a secondary reason.
He looked just as thrown off by your question as you felt asking it although a little amused by the boldness.
“A while.” He admitted easily but he rubbed the back of his neck like he was nervous, face just pink enough for you to tell he’s affected. “I don’t know exactly but maybe a year?”
Your eyes must widen because he lets out an embarrassed laugh that sounds nothing like himself, like he’d rather be the first to laugh than to wait for you to inevitably do it.
“Yeah I just… haven’t been into it lately.” His eyes land hard on yours and you can’t really find it in yourself to say anything in response, especially since you’re more than certain he’s lying with the weak explanation.
You lean against the pole and watch him carefully, suddenly very glad you had left the bar when you did.
“What about you?”
Your mouth parts a little in surprise, not at all expecting him to turn the question around on you. You haven’t to really think about it which he doesn’t seem to enjoy, frowning just enough for it to be noticeable as he shifts in place.
“A few months I guess.” You say softly with a light shrug, just a little bit shy with the answer.
You hope he doesn’t ask you to specify because you really don’t know how to explain to him that you’d been so pent up one night from the way he touched you that you had no choice but to go and seek other forms of release. It was somebody you didn’t even remember the name of which was evidence enough towards how good it had been, not at all satisfying that craving he’d built up and actually just making it much worse.
You’d heard stories about Eddie from random girls around campus, their faces flushing with embarrassment when they noticed you listening or passing by like you had some sort of claim over him.
You were curious about it both because you liked him so much and because you were his friend and wanted to know what exactly he did that made girls get so hung up on their time together in the bedroom.
He hadn’t replied since you spoke, staring a bit blankly.
“What’s on your mind?” Your head cocked.
He shifted at the sound of your voice and moved back towards you, hand wrapping around the pole you’d been leaning on. It was just above your head so you were slightly caged in by his arm, eyes turning upwards to blink at him.
“Have you… wanted anyone since?” His voice had gotten a little lower and you took a second to glance around the train car and ensure nobody was paying too much attention to two college kids flirting awkwardly.
You stared at him through your lashes for a few seconds before your hand was rubbing over his ribs, smiling a little. “Maybe.”
He sucked in a breath at the touch despite how often he felt it and you watched as his eyes very obviously dropped down to your lips.
The train car picked the perfect moment to rock violently and you made a small surprised sound as it nearly threw you sideways, too distracted by him to remember to brace yourself.
Eddie barely faltered, more than used to the abrupt stops. He easily slid his hands around your waist to steady you and you gave him a quick thankful smile before you were realizing you’d reached your stop and grabbing into his wrist to pull him out onto the platform before you managed to get the both of you lost again.
“Didn’t think you’d catch it this time.” He smiled softly at you as you walked and you rolled your eyes despite being overly fond of his habit to never give you directions.
“You’re not that distracting.” You teased back but you’re more than aware of how obvious that lie is.
He certainly is distracting you in the following weeks as you get closer to summer and the heat begins to rise and rise.
To only make matters worse, the AC goes out in the boys apartment and Sarah’s dad sets out a strict ‘no boy’ rule when he catches Alex sneaking out one morning.
You heavily consider just ditching all three of them in favor of your college funded air conditioned dorm that you’d barely used since moving to the city but you feel a little too guilty and you figured you’d miss Eddie far too much while sulking away next to your dorm mate writing her boyfriend obsessive love letters.
So you join them in their suffering, all lounging around the furniture in various states of undress as you try your best to catch anything that resembles a breeze.
It’s bad enough to be literally hot, sweat coating your forehead and making your hair stick uncomfortably wet to the back of your neck, but to also be a little warm under your skin from Eddie and his lack of a shirt was a new type of torture.
Alex was on the smaller side, body lean and just muscular enough to show some definition and you imagined he was the more stereotypical choice for the college girls surrounding you.
You however, felt naturally drawn to the way Eddie was built. He was so noticeably strong, defined arms and a round chest with enough hair on it to really make you start to sweat, and that was without taking in for account the slight softness of his stomach.
You’d been spending the entire day trying not to look at the trail of hair leading down into his gym shorts, staring up at the ceiling fan as it did its best to cool you off.
Sarah was practically stripped down to her birthday suit, using a bikini top to keep some modesty despite the boy short underwear she had below it doing the opposite. Alex wasn’t much better, giving up on real clothes completely in favor of some oddly tight boxers.
You weren’t exactly shy about your body but you were overly aware of Eddie being in the room so you stuck with a small tank top and some sleep shorts, trying your best not to abandon another layer like the others.
Eddie hadn’t moved in nearly half an hour, eyes closed and lying flat on his back like he was picturing himself floating down a lazy river. You glanced around the room at the other two who were also lounging out with soft heated groans, only the sound of Sarah’s magazine waving back and forth breaking up the silence.
Your hand lightly touched Eddies chest, still close enough to you that your knee was pressed against his arm as you sat with your legs crossed next to him despite the heat screaming at you to separate. It was a little damp under your palm but you figured you weren’t much better.
“Maybe we could go to the beach.”
The words had barely left your lips before Eddie was shooting up off the bed, looking a little dizzy from the sudden movement. “God yes.”
“Careful bubba.” You said softly as you lightly pressed on his skin to get him to lay back down for a second until the wooziness passed.
Sarah had perked up too at the mention of a trip to the beach, most likely already mentally picking out a matching bottom to go with her top. Eddie had taken your hand that was on his chest and pressed a light kiss to each of your knuckles, smiling crookedly at you when you sent him an amused look.
“I’m totally in. Beach day.” He nodded in approval and sat up again at a much slower pace, now face to face with you and rubbing your noses together until you let out a small laugh. “We can use my mom’s van.”
“Your mom’s van is a piece of shit.” Alex supplied from across the room, still refusing to move in the heat even when Sarah sent a sharp swat to his sweaty chest.
It was in fact a piece of shit so it was hard to argue, especially as you stood in front of it.
You weren’t sure how she had managed to keep her lot for as long as she had especially considering the van clearly hadn’t moved in the last few years, coated in dust and making an odd rattling noise when Eddie hopped in and started it up.
He looked too excited for you to rain on his parade and you were still internally trying to impress his mom, talking to her quietly in the kitchen while the boys dug around in Eddies old room for an extra pair of swim trunks that might still fit him after making sure the van started.
“He talks about you a lot. I figured he must be making you up.” She was clearly teasing and she immediately reminded you a lot of her son, down to the shape of the smile she gave you as she poured you all a glass of lemonade.
“All good things?” You mused and you relished in the way she chuckled lightly.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Sarah scoffed from the kitchen table, you’d nearly forgotten she was there at all but the heat and unfamiliar sight of a rundown apartment had made her uncharacteristically quiet. “Eddie couldn’t even think a bad thought about you let alone voice one.”
Her teasing was already bad enough in general but worse in front of his mother, your cheeks turning red just as the boys came stumbling out in clear excitement for the road trip.
It was a bit of a chaotic start, all holding onto the prayer that the van would even make it to the first gas station stop. You felt a bit of relief as it rattled its way out of the city, especially since Eddie had confessed he didn’t have a license and let Alex drive, giving Sarah shotgun after she sent him a sharp glare.
He was pressed against your side in the second row, a little uncomfortably considering the AC was barely sending out a light breeze in your direction but the windows being down on the open road helped cool off your skin just enough for you to relax.
You turned to look at him just to find he was already watching you, your nose brushing his as you both mirrored the other’s bright smile.
“You excited?” You whispered, trying to keep your voice under the song playing from the CD Sarah had dug out from the middle console.
“Yeah.” He said it back just as quietly and you appreciated the imaginary privacy the volume offered. His hand came up to brush your hair behind your ear and then lingered near your jaw.
“I’ve never seen the ocean.” You admitted and you watched his eyes widen in surprise, multiple emotions passing over his face like he had suddenly decided this meant something different than just cooling off in the water. “Not from here, remember?”
Eddie nodded slowly but you could tell he was sinking into thought now, his hand reaching over to squeeze yours with something close to determination.
If his goal was to give you the perfect beach day then he more than succeeded. You couldn’t have had a better time with the three of them, barely getting the van parked before you were running into the water and falling into a pile of waves and splash puddles.
The chill of the ocean and the relief you felt had nothing on how magical it was to be with your favorite people, one in particular who couldn’t stop smiling and laughing as he watched you play around with Sarah and narrowly dodge water attacks from Alex.
Eddie didn’t last long before wrapping his arms around your middle and dragging you under the water with him, completely beaming when you resurfaced and pushed him lightly by his shoulders in mock upset.
It took hours for any of you to get bored and you stayed out there with him even when the other two had their fill and went to shore, opting for getting a tan and catching up on a book.
He didn’t seem to mind when you wanted to calm down, naturally gravitating towards each other as you let the water move your bodies together. You held onto his shoulders with your legs wrapped around his waist, his big hands rubbing over your lower back and keeping you from drifting off.
The sun was setting as you talked in soft voices and let yourselves float in unison.
It was perfect and getting even better as the sun fully set and you retired back to the van, laying some blankets on top of it and feeling the cooling metal under your back as you laid down. You’d almost forgotten how the stars looked outside of the city and away from the light pollution, lost in the sight of them and barely registering Eddie climbing the ladder on the side of the van until he laying down beside you.
You could distantly hear Sarah laughing softly at something Alex had said, growing more and more faint as you realized they were walking back down to the water.
“Think they’ll get married?” You whispered once you felt him settle next to you, his hand reaching between your bodies to grasp yours and let it rest on his chest so he could play with your fingers.
“Without a doubt.” He answered easily, not needing any clarification.
“Maybe we can be their maid of honor and best man.” You mused. “Walk down the aisle together.”
You looked at him after the comment just to see his reaction, to double check if the image of you together in a wedding scenario had any effect on him even if it wasn’t your own. He was always watching you with soft eyes, moonlight highlighting his freckles and the slight redness he’d gotten from the sun.
“You’re always staring at me.” You whisper.
“Can you blame me?” He sounded so sincere that you felt a little embarrassed and it took a lot to not look away from his strong gaze.
“What’s that mean?” You shifted so you were lying more on your side and facing him better, the ocean crashing in the distance offering a welcome break between the silences.
“Means…” He laughed a little at your curiosity and shrugged his shoulders, searching for the right words to use. “You’re so fucking pretty.”
You know you’re flushed now and you have to stare at the stars for a breath just to gather yourself, looking back and wishing you hadn’t considering he has the same expression he did the last time he tried to kiss you.
He’s closer than you realized, noses brushing again in that familiar habit of yours.
“Eddie don’t.” You whisper softly even though it pains you. “Don’t kiss me.”
He freezes immediately and it’s much more extreme of a reaction than last time, embarrassment rushing over his face as he awkwardly shifts away from you on the blanket to give you some space.
“Yeah okay.” He breathes out in agreement but it’s so clearly forced.
“Wait.” You frown and sit up a little so you can see his face still as he moves away. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
His face softened instantly like the idea crushed him and he also sat up, resting on his elbow and bringing his free hand up to cup your face and lightly caress your cheek.
“Hey.” His singular word was so full of affection that you almost fell on your stomach in relief. “I’m not mad at you. I’m never mad at you but especially not for that.”
“I’m just…” You have the sudden need for him to understand that you’re not meaning to reject him, a bit frantic as you finally sit up on your knees and touch his arm. “Nervous okay? I don’t want to mess things up so we just can’t… can’t kiss.”
He was silent for a long time as he stared at you like he was trying to understand, eventually nodding slowly but looking just a little bit frustrated and disappointed. You knew your reasoning didn’t make much sense and you felt a bit sick knowing he might be longing for something you’re not willing to give.
“This is why I wanted you to hook up with that stupid blind date.” You sigh and it’s a little bit of an over exaggeration because you probably would have cried for a month if he did but the meaning is still there. You didn’t want him waiting around for something you might not ever give him.
“I get it.” He says it slowly like you’re a live wire which you figure you probably seem like one right now, rushed speaking pattern unlike your usual calm demeanor. “But I don’t want her.”
“You want me?” You assume openly for the first time.
“God yes.” He doesn’t hesitate to answer, eyes staring into yours with devastating raw honesty.
You’re not sure if actually hearing him confess it makes you feel better or worse but your stomach lights up with interest anyways.
You both fall silent, you because of the admission and him because he’s clearly shocked you didn’t somehow already know that.
His hand is suddenly on your back and then you’re overly aware of how much skin you’re both showing. You lean closer to him when he starts to rub you in small soothing circles and then you let out a deep sigh.
“Can I ask you something?” You whisper and he nods before you even really finish. “You said you hadn’t had sex with anyone in a year. Is that because…”
You trail off but it’s obvious what you’re implying, especially given the conversation you’re having.
Because of you.
Now he’s finally hesitating and it’s a long anxious pause before he’s nodding his head.
You both don’t speak, don’t even breathe, as his hand slowly trails up from your back to your shoulder. You stare closely at his face as he toys with the strap of your bikini that rest against your warm skin, still slightly heated from the sun.
“Are you going to take it off?” You whisper and it’s clearly all the permission he needs, eyes meeting on yours as he notes the soft nod you give him, before he’s letting his fingers push it off your shoulder softly.
He moves to the other one at the same time he fully sits up so you’re both half kneeling in front of each other, slowly pulling the second strap down and lean in to kiss your collarbone as he does so. You suck in a sharp breath and he falters at that, glancing up at you to double check.
“You can take it off.” You say softly immediately, a little breathy. “You’ve been so patient.”
Clearly that patience had worn out because Eddie is quick to reach behind your back and undo the tie holding your top up, eyes locked on your chest when it falls in your lap.
He stares at you for so long you start to squirm uncomfortably and then he’s gently moving the fabric to the side and shifting closer so he can go back to kissing your skin. Your eyes flutter shut and your hands go to his curls, softly running your fingers through them as he kisses up your neck down to your shoulders.
“You can go lower.” You encourage and you feel him lightly tense like the idea is a little too overwhelming for him.
It’s brief though and he follows the light instruction soon after hearing it, his hands moving to cage both of your ribs in his big palms. He just barely grazes the top of your chest with his lips before you can hear a sharp laugh from Sarah down below.
You’re both hit with the sudden realization of where you are and what you’re doing, your eyes wide with panic and he sits up rigidly.
You hear Alex next and that snaps you out of it, scrambling to grab your top and pull it over your shoulders. Eddie is just as eager to get behind you and help you tie it back up, shivers down your spine when his fingertips touch your skin.
“You two okay?” Alex calls from below and you can’t bring yourself to answer, grateful when Eddie gives a murmur of approval before helping you climb down the ladder and get the blankets back in the van.
You stay quiet until you’re back in the van, tucking your face into his neck and groaning softly as the embarrassment fully hits you.
“That was humiliating.” You whisper once you pick your head back up.
“Yeah a little bit.” He agrees with a soft smile and that only makes you let out another disgruntled noise before resting your head on his shoulder.
The car ride back is mostly pleasant if you can block out the thoughts of somebody having seen you topless but you feel a large amount of relief when the city skyline comes into view. Sarah gets dropped back off at her apartment before the boys find street parking near campus for the van, calling Eddies mom on the pay phone down the road to let her know you’d bring it back tomorrow morning.
You linger around the dorms before opting for heading back to their place with them, ignoring the pleased smile on Eddies face when you catch up with him and wrap your hand in his.
Sleepovers aren’t that rare between the two of you so you can tell right away that he’s acting strange.
He’s taking twice as long as usual in the bathroom and hovering around his dresser like he’s looking for something. You’d changed into one of his shirts and a pair of shorts you’d left there before, the air much more chilled now that the sun is set.
You sit on his bed and frown at him as he stalls climbing in with you.
“Eddie.” You call after ten minutes have passed and he freezes, blinking at you. “Are you acting weird because you saw my tits?”
The question lingers in the air for a few seconds before he’s sighing and facing you fully.
“Okay yeah.” He admits with surprising ease and you continue to frown as he finally comes over to sit next to you. “I’m just thinking about it.”
“My tits?” You specify and now he winces at the vulgar phrasing.
“Not necessarily your… you know. Just the situation in general.” He supplies and you can only stare at the side of his face.
It’s awkward for a handful of seconds before you’re standing up to turn off the lights, leaving you in near darkness outside of the orange hued lamp in the corner of his room.
“Come on, let’s try something.” You say softly as you go and lay down on his bed, facing the wall as you rest on your side. “Get behind me.”
You can almost feel his hesitation but he doesn’t eventually, the position coming naturally to you both as he curves his body around yours. It feels more intimate than normal considering the conversation you were just having but you still reach back to grab his hands and bring them to the front of your chest.
You just hold them for a moment before you’re taking a deep breath and lightly pressing them against the fabric of your tank top.
He tensed behind you and sucked in air sharply through his teeth but it didn’t take him long to relax and follow the instinct to lightly apply some pressure.
“I-it feels good when you squeeze.” You whisper softly, face warming up instantly at how vulgar it sounded. “So don’t be shy.”
That was all he really needed to hear before he started to really touch you, big hands cupping your breast repeatedly as you both laid there and took shaky breaths. You were making soft whimpering sounds which really didn’t help the temperature as it started to climb against.
“Mm feels good Eddie. Is this okay?” You whisper.
“God yes.” He breathed out before pressing a few light kisses to your shoulders, his hands starting to get a little rougher now as he groped your chest eagerly.
“Should we take it off?” You nearly whine.
“Is that what you want?” He asks softly and keeps kissing your skin, moving onto your neck and lingering there as he waits for your reply. You nod immediately and he doesn’t waste any type before shifting your body and pulling the shirt you borrowed over your head, tossing it carelessly onto the floor.
He was back to touching you instantly and you both made a strangled sound at the skin on skin contact, his hands getting rough again as he pulled your breast apart before squeezing them together. His thumbs kept brushing your nipples in a way that made you start to pant and he shifted behind you.
“Fuck I feel you getting hard.” You gasped and he made a nearly growl like sound, pressing his forehead to your shoulder.
His hips moved forward at the words on instinct before he was tensing and moving backwards like he was trying to avoid touching you like that.
“N-no I want you to feel good too. You can rub it against me.” You encouraged and it was mostly selfish, wanting to feel it so bad you could barely think.
He hesitated for a second before he was rocking his hips forward and going back to roughly groping your chest, his breath getting quicker in your ear as low grunts left his mouth.
You felt like you were on fire, stomach twisting in a coil of need as you tried to arch your back and rub yourself back with him as he moved almost feverishly.
The mixture of the two sensations was overstimulating in the best way possible.
“Say something. I love your voice.” You begged and you could barely recognize yourself and the high pitched tone you’d taken on in your pleasure.
“You’re so pretty.” He was quick to murmur it out, kissing your shoulder slowly again. “Fuck I’ve wanted this for so long.”
His hands were going back and forth between squeezing, lightly tugging at your nipples, and getting a bit more bold when he’d rest them on your neck.
You could really feel him now, your tiny shorts riding up so much there was barely any fabric to mute the sensation of him rubbing against you. He was hot and heavy, clearly large in size even if he wasn’t fully hard yet which you figured he was judging by the way he was almost whimpering into your neck.
“It’s so fucking good.” You gasped out and he full out growled now as he picked up the pace, bed rocking. “Oh god yes, keep humping me.”
Eddies movements were beyond frantic, moving a hand down to roughly grip your hips and keep you still so he could really grind himself against you. He swore under his breath and sat up abruptly, ignoring your whine so he could roll you over into your back and get on top of you.
You gasped and spread your legs for him instantly when you registered what he wanted, nodding his head and whimpering loudly when he rocked his hips against you from the new position.
Now you could feel his length right where you needed it most, your core so sensitive already just from the lewd way he was touching your body like it belonged to him. You loved the deep grunts he was making in your ear, foul words under his breath like he couldn’t contain them anymore.
You made a strangled sound and clung to him, arm around the back of his neck as he kept you pinned down with a strong hand on your stomach.
“Harder.” You whined impatiently.
“Fuck baby I’ll cum.” He groaned, shaking his head and kissing your neck so sloppily you got dizzy with the desire to have his mouth on yours.
He still listened to your request and started to really fuck against you, both of you panting and completely lost in the sensations as you chased the high of finally getting to feel eachother like this.
It was like you got thrown off the top of the mountain when you heard the familiar voice right outside the door, both of you stiffening as you tried to make out the words Alex was saying.
He sounded slightly panicked and definitely guilty but he was trying to tell you something about Sarah being in trouble with her dad and desperately needing a ride, asking Eddie if he could please take his moms van to go and get her.
Eddie sighed and flopped down ontop of you, waiting a long few seconds before he shouted out his approval. You listened to Alex walk away but you both already felt the side effects of being interrupted when you were potentially making a mistake.
You kissed the side of his face and he took the sweet cue, rolling off of you and tugging you against your chest while you tried to control your breathing.
“We can’t do anything with them around.” You whisper softly and you only realized after it left your mouth that it sounded like you intended to keep this up. “It’s too risky.”
He didn’t reply for a bit and you figured he had noticed the same thing, only confirmed when he softly hummed in agreement and rubbed your arm supportively.
That turned out to be a nearly impossible rule considering your friends were always around. Sarah had practically moved into the apartment after the disagreement with her dad and you couldn’t exactly give your opinion because it wasn’t necessarily your place either but the small space was getting a little too cramped.
You spent more time at the dorm just to get a little privacy but you missed Eddie too much to keep away for long.
Alex had currently turned the entire place into a full fledged party, no doubt welcoming a dozen noise complaints from the neighbors. You’d needed a break over an hour ago and you just now managed to get yourself away from the crowd, climbing out the window to settle up on the fire escape.
You were never surprised by how easily Eddie found you when you were disappeared so you barely blinked an eye when he was following behind you only a few minutes later.
He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth but he was quick to discard it as soon as he saw you looking.
“Hi.” You said softly once he was sat next to you, resting your head on his shoulder.
“Hi baby.” He whispered back, taking a sip from his nearly empty beer can before gazing out at the city with you.
“Can’t believe you grew up here.” You said in a bit of a daze, truly content to have him by your side like this while you admired the view you’d dreamt of for so long. “Does it get any less beautiful when you see it everyday?”
He was quiet for a bit so you dragged your eyes off the buildings to look at him, meeting his stare and smiling softly.
“Gets prettier every time I see it.” He whispered and you knew right away he wasn’t talking about the city, his gaze darting all over your face like he was committing it to memory.
You had to look away because you were suddenly feeling very emotional over the entire setting, resting your head back on his shoulder so you could avoid seeing his face again.
Eddie warmed you under your skin and it terrified you.
“I’m really going to miss it when summer comes.” Your voice is quiet and he tenses a little bit like he’d forgotten what looms around the corner.
You’d considered staying in the city during the months you didn’t have school, maybe asking Sarah to let you permanently room with her and even debating if you and Eddie were going to be at a place where you could just stay with him without it being weird.
You didn’t think you were, in fact you had decided that it would be almost catastrophic for the two of you to be around each other every single day, sleeping in the same bed and sharing a space like you were something much more than you were.
And you missed your home town underneath the awe of the big city, thinking about it often as you laid in bed and wished for a break from the constant noise pollution and busyness.
“You could stay.” Eddie whispered like he knew what you were thinking and he shifted so you had no choice but to look at him again, your knees touching and his eyes on your face while yours stayed downcast.
“Are you going to be here for me when I come back?” You tried to lighten the topic by ignoring his suggestion, not wanting to outwardly say that wasn’t an option to you.
“Of course I will be.” He answered earnestly despite your attempt at a joke, shifting and rubbing your noses together while his hands moved to squeeze yours. “I’ll pick you up the second you get here.”
“Not going to run off with any city girls?” Your tone was still teasing but you really hoped he would answer this one genuinely.
You were already depriving Eddie and even though it was his decision to not do anything with anybody else, you still felt guilty about your hesitance. Especially knowing you’d be far away and he wouldn’t even get the small relief of feeling you touch him, getting to have you close to him still.
It made you feel sick to think about him with somebody else, somebody more permanent with their feet caught in the concrete streets you couldn’t seem to get used to.
“Just you.” He says back and rubs your knuckles softly, bringing it up to kiss your wrist lightly.
You stare at him for a few long seconds with overwhelming fondness.
“Maybe you could come with me.” You whisper and he freezes.
“Seriously?”
“I don’t know if you’d like it. It’s a really small town and super outdoorsy.” You start to ramble to try and make yourself feel less embarrassed for the offer. It’s clearly not casual at all to try and bring him back to your hometown for the summer, surrounded by your entire family and the friends you grew up with. “I’d just… I would really miss you.”
He blinks at you like he doesn’t believe what you’re saying but the small smile on his face slightly eases your anxiety. He starts to slowly nod in agreement so you squeeze his hands and shift closer.
“You’d have to meet my parents.” You remind him before he can confirm, wanting him to understand the stakes of coming along instead of just impulsively accepting because he’s desperate to be around you. “And my siblings and be stuck in the middle of nowhere.”
“I’d be with you.” He cuts you off and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth that almost makes you frown, a little overwhelmed by how much you like him.
You keep waiting for him to do something you dislike, to give you a reaction or even a quick glance that lets you believe he’s not this perfect guy. He’s never angry or judgmental, he’s friendly and calm when it’s expected but knows how to have a good time otherwise and you can never stop laughing when you’re around him.
You think of the way Sarah constantly seems to be laughing with Alex, less sharp and intense when they’re together. She loses the bite behind her teasing remarks like he steadies her internally.
It was on your mind now as you took the trip back home for the first time since you left it all those months ago, a nervous bounce of your knee that’s immediately soothed by the familiar hand rubbing over it gently.
Eddie gives you a soft smile when you glance over at him appreciatively and you return it.
You didn’t need to discuss the logic behind him coming with you because you both knew it was happening as soon as you mentioned it. Neither one of you wanted to be without the other for that long of a time and it soothed any insecurity of worry about what he’d be doing in the city while you were gone, although you were certain beneath the mean voice in your head that he would be on his best behavior.
He didn’t owe you any loyalty but he had offered it so consistently that you felt comfortable expecting it.
The three months you spent together in your hometown felt just as magical as that day on the beach had.
Eddie fit in perfectly and despite introducing him as your friend to everybody, you could see the knowing looks being sent your way and you didn’t bother correcting them.
It was a whole new experience to get to see him outside of the city he was born in, the furthest he’d ever been from it both in terms of distance and lifestyle. He’d wake you up in the morning with a soft whisper that he was going fishing with your cousin, come home around dinner time with dirt on his pants and a proud, nearly boyish smile.
You felt a jolt of happiness as you stood side by side with your mom in the kitchen and helped her prepare dinner, your dad talking to Eddie the next room over as they flipped through your childhood photo books.
He came in at one point to give you a soft kiss on the cheek and ask if you needed any help from him before he ran to town for some household items, telling him you were okay and then trying to ignore the fond look your mom was giving you.
It was a new side of your connection, getting to almost roleplay a domestic small town life as you navigated the warm days and his constant presence.
You kept up with your search for something you could dislike about him, expecting it to show itself now that you were together almost all of the time, but you realized pretty quickly that it was pointless.
You’d watch him interact with the older women at the farmers market politely, call Alex weekly from your home phone and update him on the more rural things he’d been learning with genuine interest, and play with your younger siblings endlessly until the sun went down.
It was pretty clear by the end of summer that you were in love with him.
There was still that frustrating limbo you’d put both of you in but you didn’t know how to break out of it yet. You had wished he would just disrespect your old boundaries and make the first move but he was too good of a guy for that, backing up whenever his hands would wander a little too intensely.
He kept them mostly off of you around your family other than a hand around your waist or brief greeting kiss to your cheek but you felt the heat that still lingered when you’d be back in your room each night.
Your parents thankfully hadn’t set any rules about the two of you sharing a bed even though you almost would have preferred that to the torture of having him that close but somehow still so far.
He’d let himself be a bit more bold then, his palms that had gotten rougher over the weeks of outdoor activities would run over your bare stomach as he pushed your shirt up higher.
You’d both stay quiet in the room any time anything happened like you were afraid to speak and scare the other, memories of that night after the beach where he’d touch you constantly on rotation.
His hands wouldn’t go past your ribs and you’d try to ignore the disappoint each time he kissed the back of your neck and settled into sleep instead of going further.
It was a rough adjustment to go back to the city but you missed it all the same, especially your friends who greeted you both eagerly at the bus stop once you arrived.
Sarah had made a cute sign with your names combined on it, shaking it and jumping up and down when she saw you coming with your luggage.
She’d demanded that you spend the night with her so you could catch up and you locked eyes with Eddie as she dragged you away, feeling the ache deep in your stomach as you separated for the first time in months.
“You guys didn’t even kiss?” She looked appalled at the revelation, pulling back the brush she’d been using to apply a face mask to your skin. She’d told you that the country air had made you look dry and ignored you when you said you lived in the suburbs. “Are you joking?”
“I don’t know okay?” You groaned and went to hide in your hands before remembering the sticky substance all over your skin and throwing them down into your lap instead.
She gave you that familiar judging look, perfectly tweezed eyebrow raising as she gave you a once over.
“You need to make a move.” She determined by the end of it and you sighed in defeat. “I’m serious.”
“I don’t know if he’ll want it still.” You shake your head and now she scoffs in disbelief.
“Are you stupid?” Her voice is biting but you’ve known her long enough to know it’s from a place of support. “You’re hot, he’s horny and obsessed with you. Obviously he’s going to want it.”
You thought about it non stop after that conversation because you weirdly were able to believe her when she said it like that.
All four of you went out the next night for drinks, celebrating the end of a summer apart and the start of the next school year together.
It was ridiculous how much you had missed Eddie after only a day and a half apart, sliding comfortably against his side as soon as you and Sarah got into the bar. He seemed just as eager to see you, kissing the side of your head a handful of times and bringing both arms around your waist so you couldn’t go anywhere.
“Missed you so much.” He was saying it softly but it was loud enough for your friends to hear, groaning immediately while he flipped them the bird.
“How’d you two only get worse?” Alex teased but you were in too good of a mood to be annoyed, especially since he wasn’t necessarily wrong.
For the first time in a long time, you drank as much as they did. Typically you stayed sober and collected while they had their fun and you were quickly realizing how terrible of an idea it was to be drunk around Eddie.
You were ten times more wanting of his touch, constantly clinging to him and getting uncharacteristically pouty when he would leave to go to the bathroom or get another drink. He didn’t seem to notice how extra affectionate you were being due to his own tipsy state, easily giving you the attention you needed like it was second nature.
You both went to the bar together at one point and it was clear to you right away that it was risky to be without the buffer of your friends.
Your hands were sliding over his ribs and you could barely make out anything he was saying to the bartender, thankfully not the pretty one from all those months ago.
He finished ordering and turned to give you his full attention, your chest pressed together as he lightly kissed your temple.
“You know..” You were speaking before you even realized you were and his eyes locked on yours, a little less glossy than your own but still dazed. “I was thinking about that night in your apartment. The one after the beach.”
It had been months now but you both knew exactly what you were referring to, the unforgettable memory of his hands getting rougher on you and your whiny voice begging him to keep going before you were interrupted.
His eyes were darkening a little at the topic and you kept absentmindedly rubbing him, up his chest and then back down.
“Yeah?” He offered back and you were nodding in confirmation, gaze more hooded when he let out a shaky breath and slid his hands onto your lower back so he could tug you closer.
“It felt so good, didn’t it?” You whispered and he was quick to mumble out an agreement that you didn’t quite hear.
You pulled your lip between your bottom tip with slight nerves, the most you could still feel with this much alcohol running through you and offering up an abundance of liquid courage. He leaned down just enough to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth and your hands tighten where they’d been resting on his biceps.
The bartender was clearing his throat behind you and sliding your finished drinks closer to where you stood but you both ignored him, a small pout forming on your face as you rocked on your tiptoes to hide in Eddies neck for a second.
“You know I want you right?” You mumbled against his warm skin, thinking back on Sarah’s advice.
He tensed a little but held you closer, full on hugging you now as you rested against his shoulder.
“I want you too.” His voice was always so genuine when he was confessing something to you, a little innocent like he just desperately wanted you to know how much he liked you.
The bar area was getting a little too crowded and you felt a tinge of anxiety, sighing and pulling away from him to grab two of the four drinks.
“Let’s go back.” You encouraged and he hesitated before grabbing the remaining glasses and following you back to the booth you’d moved to almost two hours ago.
He set the drinks down before he was sliding into his spot and stretching his arm out like he expected you to sit next to him. You hesitated for a long few seconds, getting an eyebrow raised from Sarah that you took as encouragement.
You scooted along the wood until you were right beside him and then lifted yourself up and onto his lap, sitting sideways on his thigh and holding onto his shoulder so you didn’t sway backwards.
His eyes widened just enough for it to be noticeable but he was easily wrapping his arm around your middle to support you.
“Sorry. Just want to be close to you.” You explained to him and he looked a little choked up, nodding but not saying anything for a while.
You frowned as they all fell back into conversation even though Eddie was mostly just listening to the other two talk amongst themselves, his thumb pushing down the fabric of your jeans just enough to rub your hip.
Ten minutes passed before you were growing impatient again, taking a long sip of your drink before turning your body more and leaning down towards his ear.
“I want to talk more about that night.” You whispered and then pulled back to hold his gaze, his eyes curious and maybe a little bit confused.
Now it was his turn to lean towards you, lips brushing your ear enough to make a shiver run over you. “I think about it all the time.”
“Yeah?” You were desperately latching onto this information. “What about?”
“Just everything about you. The way you looked and the way you sounded when I touched you.” His eyes were leaving your face in favor of going up and down your frame repeatedly.
You shifted on his lap just to get more comfortable as you turned more to face him but his breath hitched, pausing the way he was rubbing your hip to instead hold it tightly and keep you still.
“I loved when you touched me.” You whisper next and he reaches up with his free hand to cup your jaw, tilting your face a little more in his direction so he can rub his nose against yours in that endearing habit of his. “Your hands felt so good.”
It was quiet for a few seconds and you moved in his lap again, not necessarily meaning to but still drunk and wanting so desperately to soothe that ache that was slowly building between your legs the more you spoke and thought back to that night.
“You got so worked up.” Your voice was getting a little whinier now and his breath was speeding up at the sound of it. “Probably would’ve came in your pants if we didn’t get interrupted.”
He nearly growled at that and you smiled, happy he was starting to crack a little bit the more you went on. Eddie was clearly doing his best to keep being respectful but you could tell how much he wanted to kiss you and speed things up.
You kept shifting and rubbing your thighs together and he swore under his breath, eyes going down to your lap. He snaked a hand between your thighs just to grip tightly and try to keep you from moving.
“Sorry.” Your pout was exaggerated. “Not trying to get you riled up.”
“Uh huh.” He kissed his teeth and sent you a playful glare, clearly not believing you considering the way you were acting.
“I wish I wore a skirt tonight.” You added and he let out a sigh at the idea, starting to rub your denim covered thighs instead of just holding them.
You were painfully wanting as he touched you, rubbing your nose along his jaw and closing your eyes to fully enjoy the way he was feeling you up under the table. It probably was overly obvious what you were doing but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about the others around you.
He helped you move so you were straddling him instead of sitting sideways, an instinctive move you both did without thinking.
His hands kept rubbing you, this time moving up and down your back with one of his palms going under your shirt to feel the bare skin.
Now it was impossible to not shift your hips a little bit on top of him, whining softly and burying your face in his neck.
“I-I’m needy.” You confessed in a near gasp and he groaned.
“I know baby.” His voice was lower than you’d ever heard it and that only spurred you on, closing your eyes and kissing the warm skin you were hiding against as you started to really gently rock ontop of him. It just looked like two drunk people feverishly making out, or at least you hoped so.
You were getting more and more worked up the longer you sat there together, his big hands moving to your hips to help you keep moving.
“Is this okay?” His voice was shaky and you were quick to kiss his jaw lightly in encouragement.
He adjusted himself on the seat, sliding a bit lower to give you a tiny amount of privacy and keep you slightly more covered by the table top. The movement just pressed you closer against him and you tried to muffle your needy whine in his shirt collar.
“Touch me.” You were firm in the request and he didn’t hesitate once he heard the tone you’d taken on.
You sighed in relief when you felt his hands leave your back and hips in favor of grabbing your ass through your jeans, back instinctively arching to give him better access. He massaged it softly just like he’d done with your chest all those months back, tugging you back and forth in his lap to keep building that friction.
“Fuck you’re getting so…” You picked your head up to look down at where you were connected, seeing the clear evidence of his arousal and locking eyes with him so he could tell how much the was driving you crazy.
His face was flushed like he was embarrassed and you noticed how overwhelmed he looked, slowing down and feeling a little guilty for your boldness before you felt him grunt at the lack of movement and furrow his eyebrows.
You hesitated for a few seconds to try and figure out what he wanted and then decided you were sick of guessing.
“You want to rub it against me?” You asked softly, leaning back in to kiss below his ear.
“Yeah.” He said immediately and squeezed your back pockets again. “Fuck yeah.”
He started to slowly tilt his hips up to move against your soft rocks, trying your best to not be so obvious while also feverishly chasing after that feeling.
It felt so good to finally get him like this, under you and just as wanting as you were. You couldn’t even contain yourself long enough to get to his apartment or even the bathroom, you needed him right now.
He was clearly getting overwhelmed again because his hips would jolt up against you like he couldn’t control it, soft apologies leaving his mouth when you’d gasp or jump at the sudden movements.
Knowing he was just as needy as you was only making you burn hotter.
“Fuck I wanna make you cum.” He almost whimpered it out and that was nearly too much for you, speeding up and letting your lips brush against his for a second before hiding back in his neck as you started to whine louder.
The friction was perfect, building up to the point you could barely even think about anything other than making him feel good with you.
“Hump me more.” You whined, not sure it was even audible considering how hard you were pressing your mouth against his shoulder to keep yourself quiet.
His hands moved from your ass to the back of your thighs to keep you moving even as you got a little too desperate to function, the way you were bouncing growing sloppier now that he was pressing up against you at the same time.
It was getting to be almost too much, your entire body tingling with the need to get off.
You could vaguely hear Alex awkwardly announcing they were going to get a drink from the bar, forgetting they were even there and silently hoping they’d get the hint and not come back for a while.
Everybody else around you was either too drunk or too tired to care about some horny college kids in the corner booth.
“Feel good baby?” He was speaking in a voice you’d never heard from him and that only made you speed up.
“Yes Eddie yes.” You whimpered
One of his hands moved to tangle in your hair, forming a fist in the locks and making you gasp at the light pain that spread across your scalp. You expected him to immediately release it once he heard that noise but he was clearly too buzzed or too caught in the feeling to remember how gentle he normally was with you.
You couldn’t complain, not with the way pleasure instantly followed the stinging sensation.
“Keep going.” You encouraged with soft pants, kissing alongside his neck. “I’m dripping.”
That seemed to really drive him crazy, like the idea that he was making you feel good was better than anything else.
His hand slid up under your shirt, rubbing your back and playing with the clasp of your bra like he was heavily debating taking it off. You’d started to sober up from the drinks but you were beyond drunk on him.
“Uh guys.”
You both froze but you didn’t dare look behind you at Alex’s awkward cough, burying yourself in Eddies neck and hoping he could just teleport you home instead of having to deal with this conversation.
His chest was lifting and falling heavily below you and making your frame move in the process. You knew him well enough to know his face was bright red, only confirmed when you finally slid off his lap and glanced at him with mild embarrassment.
“Yeah. Just friends.” Sarah quipped and you sent her a glare as she smiled and winked at you, clearly internally proud you’d taken her advice and made a move on him.
“Sarah.” Eddie's voice was still low and hoarse, another shiver running over you at how affected he sounded. “We’re just… tipsy.”
It was a weak excuse and a few months ago it would have hurt your feelings but you knew how much he wanted you, drunk or sober. He was clearly just trying to ease the tension and make you feel better about your desperate actions, a soothing hand landing on your thigh.
“We should go.” He said next and this time it was specifically directed at you, facing you finally and squeezing your leg to try to encourage you to agree.
“Yeah.” You were quick to nod and scoot out of the booth, grabbing his hand once he was standing beside you.
You both lingered by the table like you were trying to think of an excuse to give your friends that didn’t make it so obvious.
“Oh my god please just leave already.” Sarah groaned and pressed her forehead against the wood for a brief second to really showcase her exhaustion. “Don’t talk to us until you’ve fucked each other.”
Your face burned again at the comment and Eddie opened his mouth like he was going to try and defend you, stopped short when you tugged his arm and started to move towards the exit.
You walked in silence for most of the way, the night air thankfully cooling off how heated your body still felt especially since you could feel him staring at the side of your face.
Eventually you slowed to a stop under a flickering street lamp, avoiding his concerned eyes when he stopped beside you.
“I’m really sorry about that.” You said softly with clear humiliation. “I don’t know what got into me.”
“Stop it.” He said immediately and he cupped your face, tilting it back so you had to stare up at him. “It’s okay, I get it. We both were drunk and we really like each other.”
You smiled softly at that, how convinced he sounded.
“Yeah? You really like me?” You whispered back and you were half thinking he was going to tease you back about your own feelings.
Instead, he was surging forward to finally kiss you.
It was desperate and full of all the pent up emotions you’d kept for the entire time you’d known each other, all the times you’d nearly connected like this but not quite gotten there.
His mouth moved against yours urgently like he thought he didn’t have much time before you were telling him to stop like you always did so you made sure to eagerly lick into his mouth to make sure he knew just how much you wanted this too.
The heat from the bar came back with a vengeance, one of his hands instinctively going down to grab your ass tightly and tug you closer to him before it was resting on your lower back.
His tongue was rubbing against yours, coating your chin with saliva from how sloppy and needy it was on both ends.
You liked Eddie beyond words but right now you didn’t have time for the big romantic confessions, not making love and taking your time with each other. You figured you could do that for the rest of your lives but right now you needed him to fuck you.
You told him as much between kisses and his eyes darkened, tugging you into one more deep makeout before he was whistling down a cab and nearly pushing you into the back of it.
You kissed like that the entire ride back to his apartment, barely making it out of the doors in your refusal to let go of each other.
Thankfully it seemed like Alex and Sarah had no plans to come home tonight because you barely got inside before your clothes were coming off, falling back on the couch and gasping when he was landing ontop of you.
Your hands were all over him as you undressed, running over his stomach and chest while he eagerly groped at your nipples again and finally took them in his mouth like he’d been so close to doing those months ago.
It was euphoric, feeling him rub against you for only a few minutes before he was getting too impatient and pulling your panties down your legs.
The way you’d been humping each other at the bar was enough to ensure you both were ready to go, your legs easily parting for him so he could line himself up and push deep inside of you.
It felt like more than just sex, it felt like a connection that you’d been waiting for all this time. You felt whole with him like this, filling you up so nicely and giving you that perfect stretch you’d been dreaming of.
You wanted to take a second to really appreciate him, get on your knees and worship his cock so he knew just how much you loved him and the way he was always so gentle with you. But you decided to wait until after he fucked you stupid, his hips already struggling not to move the second he bottomed out.
“Fuck me, fuck me.” You gasped in a pant as you tried to get him to move, soaking up the low grunts he was letting out in your ear as he pressed his forehead to your shoulder and tried his best to not hurt you. “Please Eddie, I want it so bad.”
“Are you sure baby?” His voice was still that cute nervous tone you liked so much, kissing your cheek so gently despite the heat of the situation. You were quick to nod your head and try to adjust yourself to feel him more and he swore lightly. “Fuck okay yeah. I love you so much sweetheart, tell me if it’s too much.”
You wanted to focus on his words and let him know how much you loved him too but you couldn’t pay attention to his sudden confession once he started to really move.
He was fucking you with shocking roughness considering how sweet of a boy he was but you couldn’t have been happier, needing that pace after the year of dancing around each other.
It was perfect, just like every other day you got to experience with him before that and every single one after.
You didn’t forget to make sure he knew just how loved he was by you afterwards when you were holding each other in his bed, soft kisses on his freckled skin as he flushed over your words.
You told him it constantly in the morning after, whispering it when you cooked breakfast together and writing it in each other’s notebooks while you studied in the library.
There was no shortage of love in you for the city you’d dreamed of or the boy that had grown up with it.
pretend until forever — clark kent
word count : 22.6k words pairing : clark kent x f!reader synopsis : you have a problem, and it involves showing up to your sister’s wedding with a fake fiancé to keep your family off your back. the plan is simple enough, except clark kent agrees to play the part, calm and infuriatingly perfect, and suddenly nothing feels fake at all. how long can you survive the day without your carefully built lie unraveling completely? content warnings : fake fiancé trope, fluff, angst, sexual tension, smut-adjacent scenes, public embarrassment, emotional spirals, family drama, mild language, messy feelings, teasing, romantic tension, workplace interactions, fake relationship scenarios author’s note : okay so yes, this one’s long, i know, but please take it as my silly little sorry gift because i’ll be taking a break for like two to three weeks with uni tests eating my soul, but also, because i genuinely love you lot, i ended up scribbling this whenever i could anyway. also, heads up, there are probably some grammatical errors because i’ve been learning more about american english, so it’s kind of a mix of british and american english throughout. also, some parts might be a bit confusing because i literally had no time to proofread properly, with everything else i’ve got going on, so i basically just sneaked it off as it was. anyway thank you for sticking around and seeing me through my chaotic mind, and see the comment below for the full author’s note if you’re curious for more rambles!!
masterlist
“Please, Jimmy, I am begging you!”
“I told you that I have a strict ‘no deals with the devil’ policy. NO.”
“You’re my only hope, Olsen, please!”
“I am not Obi-Wan Kenobi!”
You’re doomed, completely and stupidly doomed, not in a poetic sort of way, not in a funny way either, just in that sinking, slow, full-body ache sort of way where you already know the damage is done and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to un-say the words that came out of your mouth, not when your sister had called you before the sun had even risen and your voice was still heavy with sleep and your brain hadn’t caught up yet with the concept of reality or consequences.
All she said was something about table arrangements and final numbers for the caterer and how excited she was to finally meet the boyfriend you’ve apparently been dating for four years, and instead of stopping her, instead of correcting her gently or pretending the call had dropped or even saying something mildly coherent, you just said, “Of course,” and that was it, that was the beginning of your undoing.
Because now you’re engaged, and not just vaguely in a cute, Pinterest board kind of way, but fully, publicly, logistically engaged to a man who doesn’t exist, who has never existed, who you made up months ago to get your mum to stop setting you up with her friend’s nephew who’s a dentist and plays the trombone.
And now it’s too far gone to fix.
There’s a ring involved, a fictional proposal at a café, something you vaguely remember muttering about lavender lattes, and apparently he’s vegetarian now, because that somehow came up during brunch with your aunt last month, which means there’s a custom meal waiting for him at the reception and the sheer scale of the lie, the details, is making you feel slightly ill.
And yes, you know you did this to yourself, you know that nobody told you to keep going with the story or build him a backstory or describe his terrible driving and love of crossword puzzles, but you also know that it felt good at the time, it felt safe to be able to nod along when everyone else was talking about their partners and it felt good to have an answer for once instead of just a tight smile and another glass of wine.
You thought Jimmy would help; you thought if anyone would understand the desperation of the situation, the sheer absurdity of it, it would be him, and for a second you thought maybe he would say yes, maybe he’d pretend for a few hours, hold your hand during dinner, say something mildly charming during speeches, and let you get through the evening with your dignity barely intact.
But no! Jimmy Olsen, your last shred of hope, has looked you square in the eye and said absolutely not, and now you’re sitting at your desk with four days to go and not a single person you can reasonably ask to stand next to you in a suit and pretend to be in love with you for an entire night, not just in passing, but with the kind of history and weight that four years of fiction apparently carries.
And you know, deep down, that you should probably come clean, probably tell your family that you made the whole thing up and accept the embarrassment and pitying looks, but you also know how that’ll feel, how it’ll sound when your mum asks why you lied and when your sister gives you that smile that means she’s not surprised, just disappointed, and when your ex looks at you across the room like you’re still the same person you were when you let him walk away without fighting back.
You’re spiralling; you can feel it in the base of your skull, in your chest, in the weight of your hands where they’re curled too tightly around the edge of your desk, and you don’t know how to fix it, but you do know one thing for certain: you are not walking into that wedding alone.
You just need to figure out who’s walking in with you.
“Jimmy, please, I swear there’ll be food—”
“Look,” Jimmy let out a deep sigh, turning to you with an exasperated look, clearly frustrated with you asking him the same question for about twenty-three times now, “I would really love to help you, but not that kind of help…you know what I mean?”
“What exactly do you mean, Jimmy?”
He let out a groan, dragging his hands down his face like just speaking to you physically aged him, “You know what I exactly mean. I don’t do that. I am not a liar, and certainly not someone who’s good at it.”
“You literally fake-laughed through a conversation with my aunt about antique doorknobs last Christmas.”
“That was different, that was me trying to be polite while she showed me photos,” he pointed at you like that made some kind of moral distinction, “and I didn’t have to kiss anyone or pretend to be in a deeply committed relationship in front of multiple people.”
You blinked, “You wouldn’t even have to kiss me.”
“Oh, great, so you want me to pretend to be in love with you coldly, that sounds really convincing.”
“It’s not like anyone’s going to test us,” you snapped, “It’s not a hostage situation, I just need someone to show up in a nice suit and look like they’ve heard me snore before!”
Jimmy narrowed his eyes, “Do you snore?”
“Not the point, James!”
He crossed his arms, clearly done with entertaining the idea, even though you could see the part of him that was starting to feel guilty, the part of him that always looked a little bit like a kicked puppy when someone asked for help and he couldn’t give it, but also, unfortunately, the part of him that had enough self-preservation not to get dragged into your absolute car crash of a lie.
“I’m not doing it,” he said, firm this time, like he’d made peace with it, like he was trying to coach himself through the boundary in real time, “I’m not going to your sister’s wedding and pretending to be your long-term, deeply devoted fiancé. I’m not good under pressure, I have a very obvious tell when I lie, and your family terrifies me!”
You squinted at him, “What’s your tell?”
“I start talking in third person,” he said, dead serious, “and I sweat through my shirt.”
“So? Wear black.”
“Oh, my God, are you listening to yourself right now?!”
You slumped dramatically in your chair, letting your head fall back with a groan that felt like it came from your soul, “Do you have any idea how bad this is going to be? I told them we got engaged. Engaged, Jimmy. That’s not something you can backpedal from gracefully. There’s a ring involved. There was a café, and a latte, and I might’ve said he cried.”
Jimmy looked like he wanted to melt into the floor. “You said what?”
“I don’t know why! I panicked! Mum looked so happy!”
“You are actually insane,” he said, pointing at you again, like saying it out loud would make it any less true, “and for the record, I still think you should just tell the truth and face the music like a normal person.”
You glared at him. “If you think I’m walking into a wedding alone with three exes in the guest list and a whole table of aunties who think I need to freeze my eggs, then you’ve clearly never known true fear!”
He opened his mouth, probably to make another point about morality or dignity or whatever other trait you’d long since abandoned, but then paused, squinting at you in that way he does when he’s trying to be delicate about something stupid, “Okay, but, if not me...then who?”
You stared at him, brain empty, mouth slightly open, the same low buzz of panic beginning to climb your spine again like static electricity, because you hadn’t actually gotten that far yet, hadn’t planned anything beyond “beg Jimmy until he caves.”
And the worst part is, he could see it.
“Oh, Christ,” he said again, voice full of dread, “you don’t have a backup plan, do you?”
“I didn’t think I’d need one,” you muttered, and even you heard how sad it sounded.
Jimmy sighed, already regretting asking, and shook his head like he was trying to physically shake himself free of your chaos. “You’re on your own, dude. I mean it.”
“On your own for what?” came Lois’s voice from behind you, curious and immediately too aware, and you didn’t even have time to flinch before she was rounding the corner of your desk with a coffee in one hand and that look on her face, the one that meant you’d been talking loud enough to be heard from Mars.
Jimmy blinked at her, looked at you, and then immediately bailed with a muttered, “Nothing. It’s nothing. Don’t get involved. I need to live.”
And then he was gone, the coward, vanishing into the newsroom like he hadn’t just abandoned you at your lowest.
Which left you sitting there, clearly distressed, clearly unravelling, and now with the added bonus of Lois Lane, a Pulitzer-winning journalist and very inconveniently perceptive human being, standing over you with narrowed eyes and that tilt of her head like she was already ten steps ahead of whatever story you were about to try and sell.
You tried to recover. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I just—Jimmy’s being dramatic. It’s really nothing.”
“Mm,” she said, noncommittal, sipping her coffee like she didn’t believe a single syllable of that. She sat on the edge of your desk, legs crossed, one eyebrow raised. “So what are you actually spiralling about?”
You groaned and buried your face in your hands, already regretting every decision that led to this exact moment. “It’s my sister’s wedding.”
“And…?”
“And,” you mumbled into your palms, “I might’ve told my family I’ve been dating someone for four years and that we’re now engaged, and that he’ll be coming with me to the wedding this Saturday, which is in four days, and also completely not true, because I made him up.”
Lois paused. “You made up a boyfriend who’s now your fiancé?”
“Yes.”
“Four years ago?”
“Yesssssssss.”
“And kept it going all this time.”
“I panicked, okay?!” you cried, finally looking up at her, your hands flailing a bit too dramatically for the office setting but at this point, who cared,
“My mum was giving me that face, and my other sister had just told me she was pregnant again, and everyone was being so smug and fulfilled with their real relationships and real lives and I just…said it. And then I had to keep saying it. I don’t even remember what lie I told about how we met. There was a café involved and I think he drinks oat milk.”
Lois blinked. “You’re unwell.”
“Thank you, Lois, very helpful!”
“Okay, but like, genuinely,” she said, shifting a bit on the desk, her tone softening just slightly in that way she sometimes let slip when she wasn’t in full reporter mode, “you should just tell them the truth.”
You let out a strangled, deeply unconvincing laugh. “Yeah, I’m sure that’ll go over great. ‘Hey everyone, sorry, the love of my life I’ve been raving about for years doesn’t exist, I just invented him so you’d stop looking at me like I’m a broken microwave.’”
Lois sipped her coffee again. “You know your family will still love you, right? Like, yeah, they might be weird about it for five minutes, but they’re not going to exile you to the woods for being single.”
You frowned. “You don’t know my family. My cousin Monica live-tweeted her boyfriend proposing and now my entire family uses it as the standard for public affection. My sister’s second baby is already booked for a baptism before it’s even born. My mum bought a hat for this wedding, Lois. A hat. She doesn’t wear hats unless she’s going to cry in them.”
Lois snorted. “Okay, so your family’s insane.”
“Thank you!”
“But you’re still not actually solving the problem. You either tell the truth and deal with the fallout, or you find someone willing to be your fake fiancé, which, frankly, sounds like a logistical nightmare.”
“I tried that,” you said, slumping further into your chair like the embarrassment might kill you through posture alone, “Jimmy said no for like twenty-nine times.”
“Of course he did. The guy folds under pressure if someone just asks him what he wants for lunch. You’re telling me you trusted him with a full-on social deception at a family wedding?”
You groaned again. “He was my best shot.”
She looked at you for a long moment, eyes narrowed like she was scanning you for weaknesses, and then, in the most casual voice in the world, said, “What about, uh, Clark?”
Your heart stopped.
“No.”
Lois grinned. “Why not?”
“No,” you repeated, firm, terrified, already mentally spiralling into the void, “He’s—no. He’s too nice! He’d never agree. He’d probably short-circuit and start apologising to my mother for existing. And also, I barely talk to him. We talk about coffee and copy deadlines. That’s it!”
“Exactly,” she said, like that was a point in his favour, “He’s sweet and reliable. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t embarrass you. He might even be convincing.”
“Lois!”
“What?” She leaned in, voice low and smug. “You said you needed someone!”
You buried your face in your hands again, because if she said one more word, you might actually have a breakdown in the middle of the bullpen. And worst of all, you were already starting to picture it.
And that was the problem. That was exactly the problem.
Because part of you didn’t hate the idea at all.
And that was far more dangerous than anything you'd invented so far.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
You knew you shouldn’t be doing this, you knew it from the moment Lois leaned in with that smug little glint in her eye and said his name like she was handing you a loaded gun, like she wanted to see if you’d actually pull the trigger, and you knew you shouldn’t have stood up, shouldn’t have taken a single step in this direction.
But you did, and now here you were, standing right in front of Clark Kent’s desk, heart racing in a way that felt both ridiculous and completely deserved, because there was no possible version of this where you came out the other side with your pride intact, and yet your mouth was already open and your voice was already forming syllables like you weren’t about to launch yourself headfirst into the most humiliating conversation of your life.
He looked up at you, smiling a little like he was happy to see you, even though you were very visibly deranged right now, and he just tilted his head a little and said, “Hey.”
And you panicked.
“Yes,” you said, immediately, before he’d even asked anything, and he blinked, confused but not alarmed, just blinking up at you with those stupid kind eyes like you weren’t seconds away from asking him to fully fake a relationship with you in front of your entire extended family.
Then he raised his eyebrows slightly, in a polite, concerned sort of way, like maybe you were short-circuiting, and said, “Are you okay?”
“Yep,” you said, lying through your teeth, too quickly, voice way too high, “fine, totally fine, I’m just—okay, so, uh, weird question, and I’m really, really sorry in advance, but are you doing anything this weekend?”
His brows pulled together in that thoughtful, in a way he did when he was trying to give a sincere answer to a weird question, and he said, slowly, “I think I’m free on Saturday... why?”
And that was when you knew you were too far gone to turn back.
“Uh,” you said, already wishing you were dead, “would you possibly, hypothetically, in a completely fictional and non-legally binding sort of way, want to get engaged?”
He blinked.
You then winced. “Okay, that sounded worse out loud than it did in my head.”
“Engaged,” he repeated as if he’d misheard.
“Yes,” you said, then immediately regretted it, “well—not engaged engaged, I’m not asking you to marry me, I’m asking if you’d pretend to marry me, or at least pretend that we’re going to get married, which is somehow worse, I know, but I swear I can explain—”
Clark was still just looking at you, blinking slowly like he was trying to figure out if this was a prank or a cry for help, and you would’ve felt bad if you weren’t already spiralling straight into the seventh layer of humiliation.
“My sister’s getting married,” you said, breathless now, already waving your hands like that would help slow your brain down, “and I may have told my entire family that I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a very real and definitely not made-up person, and that person may have also become my fiancé at some point, and I didn’t think it would ever come back to bite me, but now she’s getting married on Saturday, and I’ve been explicitly told to bring him, and they’re all expecting to meet him and coo over our engagement story and ask invasive questions about our future children!”
You paused, dragging in a deep breath like you were about to dive underwater, “and Jimmy said no, like very firmly no, and then Lois said your name, and now I’m here, and you can absolutely say no too, in fact you, uh, probably should, because this is crazy and embarrassing and possibly the worst thing I’ve ever said to another human being, and I am fully prepared to fake a concussion to get out of it if I have to—”
“Can I wear a tie?” Clark asked, suddenly, with that tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth like this was actually funny to him.
You stared. “What?”
“Well, I feel like a fiancé should wear a tie,” he said, shrugging a little, like this was a completely rational conversation, “I’ve got one that makes me look like I know things about property taxes.”
“You already look like someone who reads real estate blogs on purpose?”
“I don’t,” he said, smiling fully now, “but it’s nice to know I could.”
You stared at him, still half-convinced your ears were lying to you. “You’re saying yes?”
He nodded, still way too calm. “Sure.”
“You don’t even know what kind of unhinged family you’re about to walk into.”
“I grew up on a farm,” he said, “I’ve seen some things.”
“This is not that,” you said, trying not to sound panicked again, “this is five generations of nosy women with group chats and opinions and a frankly dangerous amount of curiosity. Someone is going to ask you about our sex life before appetisers! This is an actual social war, Clark, and you’re agreeing to walk into it as my fake fiancé for the price of one piece of cake and a lot of emotional damage!”
Clark adjusted his glasses, still smiling in that mild, impossibly steady way that made your brain feel like it was glitching.
“Do I get to pick the cake flavour?” he asked.
“Oh, my God,” you muttered, burying your face in your hands, “this is going to end in flames.”
He leaned in a little, voice lower now, amused but serious enough that it made your spine go weird.
“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’ll make us very convincing.”
And you felt that line in your bones, because you were unwell in the worst way, because you had just asked Clark Kent to be your fiancé and somehow, impossibly, he had actually said yes.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
“Jesus Christ, you absolute idiot,” you hissed at yourself, elbow propped on the sink as you dragged the eyeliner across your lid for the sixth time and of course it smeared into a crooked little tail that had no business being there.
“Brilliant plan, really, fake-engage the most obvious man in the world, they’ll never suspect a thing,” you muttered, scrubbing at it again with the corner of a tissue until your skin stung.
You leaned back, squinted at your reflection, and nearly laughed because your eyes were already going red and watery like you’d been crying, which was just perfect, exactly the sort of look you wanted to bring home to your family when you announced that Clark Kent had miraculously agreed to marry you.
“They’re going to find out in five minutes, tops,” you said to the mirror, pointing at your own face like you were scolding a misbehaving child. “They know you, they know you can’t lie to save your life, they know you’ve never kept a boyfriend past a month, and you think you can walk in there with Clark bloody Kent and pull this off? You are insane.”
The eyeliner pen slipped out of your grip and clattered onto the counter and you wanted to throw it in the bin. You slammed your palms on either side of the sink, leaning forward until your forehead nearly touched the mirror, and whispered, “You’re going to die, you’re going to actually die when they start asking questions.”
Then louder, like that might help, “What were you thinking?!”
Your heart was hammering against your ribs like it was trying to escape, your hands wouldn’t stay steady long enough to finish one simple wing.
You grabbed the mascara instead, hands shaking, and muttered, “Fine, we’re just going to have lopsided eyes. Whatever. Clark said yes, somehow, impossibly, and now you’ve got to make it through dinner without collapsing.”
And then, quieter, almost pleading, “Oh please, God, don’t let me sweat through this dress.”
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
The doorbell went off and you nearly jumped out of your skin, the mascara wand slipping straight out of your hand and rolling into the sink like even your own things were sick of you.
You groaned, properly loud, because of course it was already happening, of course you’d run out of time, and you were still standing there staring at eyeliner wings that didn’t even belong to the same face. The left one was drooping, the right one was flying off into space.
It was bad.
It rang again, longer this time, like whoever was outside already knew you were falling apart and wanted to make it worse. You looked at the clock. 6:41. Which had to be wrong, because there was no way morning was allowed to arrive this fast. But there it was, blinking at you, reminding you that you were officially out of time.
You muttered at yourself about being stupid, about how your family were going to bury you alive, and then you stomped down the hall in your robe like some gremlin dragged out of a hole, you always did, and then your stomach dropped out completely because it was Clark.
Except it wasn’t Clark like normal, not with his crooked tie and hair that looked like the subway had bullied him. No. This Clark looked like he had been styled. His shirt was fitted properly, his sleeves rolled, his hair slick in a way that made you want to cry.
You opened the door and almost choked.
“Hi,” Clark said, easy, like he had not just wrecked your entire morning.
“What the hell are you wearing?” It fell out of you before you could stop it, because if you didn’t say something you were just going to stand there like an idiot.
He glanced down at himself and then backed up. “Clothes?”
You pointed at him, furious. “Do not. You look like some dream guy out of a film and it is offensive. You were supposed to show up looking like you.”
He blinked at you once instead, calm as ever. “Thanks? You look great.”
You nearly combusted. “Say that again and I will hit you. I mean it. I cannot deal with that right now.”
He almost said it again, you could see it, but then he softened and shrugged with that tiny smile that was somehow worse. “Alright. I will not say it again.”
“Good,” you muttered, arms crossed so tight you thought you might pass out. “Because this is already a disaster. My eyeliner is criminal, my hair is tragic, and then you have the nerve to turn up like that.”
He leaned against the doorframe, calm as ever, and said, “So, do I get to come in? Or are you just going to roast me from the hallway?”
You glanced at the clock again. 6:43. You sighed so loudly it rattled your chest. “Fine. Come in, but do not touch anything. And stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” he asked, grinning, stepping inside.
“Like that,” you snapped, slamming the door shut a little harder than necessary, because maybe the noise would drown out how fast your heart was going. “That thing where you look like you know something I don’t. Stop it.”
Clark glanced around your flat like he was taking mental notes, slow and polite, like he hadn’t just wandered into the lion’s den. He set his overnight bag by the sofa like he belonged there and then turned back to you with that maddening calm. “I don’t know anything,” he said.
You squinted at him, still clutching your robe closed. “Yes you do. You’re smug. It’s smug, that’s what it is.”
He raised his eyebrows, pretending innocence in a way that made you want to throw something. “Why do you think I’m smug?”
“I think you’re enjoying this too much,” you muttered, stalking back toward the bathroom because if you stood in front of him another second you’d combust. “And I don’t know why. You should be terrified. My family is going to eat you alive.”
Clark followed at a slower pace, leaning in the doorway as you picked the mascara back up like it might save your life. “I’m not really worried,” he said, and you nearly dropped the wand again because how was he like this, how was he so calm when you felt like your organs were about to start a mutiny?
“You should be,” you told him, catching your reflection and grimacing. “They will ask you questions. They will interrogate. They will want dates and names and embarrassing stories. Someone will ask about the proposal. Someone will ask about the honeymoon. Someone will ask about…” You waved the mascara at him. “Things.”
“Things,” he repeated, trying not to laugh.
“Yes, things,” you said, stabbing it back toward your lashes. “Personal things. They don’t know what boundaries are.”
He watched you for a moment, arms folded now, and then he said, easy as anything, “So you’ll tell me what they need to hear.”
You whirled on him. “Me?”
“Well, yeah,” he said, smiling like this was all so simple. “You made him up, didn’t you? You’ve already got the backstory. I’m just here to play the part.”
You stared at him, mascara still in your hand, and wanted to scream. “Oh, my God. You’re going to be useless.”
Clark laughed, actually laughed, and it was so warm and low that you forgot what you were about to say next. He pushed his glasses up his nose, still smiling, and said, “Don’t worry. I’ll keep up.”
And you hated it, you hated how much you almost believed him.
By the time you’d shoved half your wardrobe into a suitcase and burnt your tongue on instant coffee, Clark was still just… there. Carrying your bag down the stairs without breaking a sweat. Opening the passenger door for you like it was normal. Sliding behind the wheel like he wasn’t about to impersonate your fictional fiancé in front of five generations of relatives who could smell fear a mile away.
The car was quiet for all of thirty seconds before you broke.
“They’re going to ask about the café,” you blurted, gripping your coffee cup like it was the only thing tethering you to earth. “The one where he proposed. I said it was by the river, I said there were lavender lattes, I said he got down on one knee and cried. They’re going to want details. They’re going to want to know the exact date. What the weather was like. What he said.”
Clark glanced at you, then back at the road, and said, “Alright. So what did he say?”
You blinked at him, throat tightening, because of course you had never thought that far. “I don’t know,” you admitted, voice cracking on it. “I just said he cried.”
Clark smiled a little, eyes on the traffic ahead. “Then I guess I’ll have to improvise.”
You nearly spilled your coffee. “Clark, no, do not improvise!”
“Why not?” he asked, all innocent.
“Because you’ll make it sound sincere and then I’ll die.”
He chuckled, soft and low, and you wanted to throw your coffee out the window.
“This isn’t funny,” you said, turning in your seat to glare at him. “We need to get our story straight. You can’t just stroll in there winging it.”
Clark kept his eyes on the road, maddeningly calm, hands loose on the wheel like you weren’t both heading toward disaster. “So we build it. Isn’t that what we do?”
“What?” you asked.
“Stories,” he said, glancing at you with the faintest smile. “We’ve both made a career out of getting the details right. Same principle, just personal. It’s not exactly breaking news, but it’s still a narrative. We just… write it.”
You gaped at him. “You’re actually suggesting we treat my fake fiancé like an article?”
He shrugged. “Why not? You’ve got the bones already. We fill in the rest. Motive, timeline, quotes, anecdotes. Keep it consistent. No contradictions.”
You groaned and slumped against the seat. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe you’re enjoying this.”
“I’m not enjoying it,” he said, but he was smiling, and you knew he absolutely was.
“Fine,” you muttered, shoving your empty coffee cup into the holder. “Timeline. Four years. We met at…” You stopped, wincing. “Gosh! I can’t even remember what I said anymore!”
Clark hummed thoughtfully, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. “Library?”
You shot him a look. “Do I look like the kind of person who meets people at libraries?”
“Alright,” he said, still calm. “Bar, then. You spilled a drink on me?”
You narrowed your eyes. “That sounds like a cliché.”
“You made up lavender lattes,” he reminded you. “We’re already past cliché.”
You shoved a hand through your hair, heart pounding. “Okay, fine, bar. I spilled a drink. It was rum and coke, not wine, because wine is too obvious.”
Clark nodded like he was taking notes in his head. “And I said—what? That you owed me a replacement?”
“Yes,” you said quickly, leaning into the lie before you could second-guess it. “And you hated me at first. You said I was rude and clumsy and distracting.”
He smirked at that, eyes still on the road. “Sounds about right.”
“Don’t,” you snapped, pointing at him. “You don’t get to enjoy this.”
“Noted,” he said, but the corner of his mouth twitched and you wanted to scream.
You slumped back again, muttering under your breath. “Proposal was last spring. Café by the river. Lavender latte. You cried. I don’t know why, but apparently you did. Honeymoon is booked for Italy, Tuscany maybe, I can’t remember which part I told them. Vegetarian, crosswords, terrible driver.”
Clark repeated it under his breath, like he was memorising lines. “Terrible driver?”
“Yes,” you said. “You almost hit a dog once and we argued for a week. My cousin remembers that. Don’t mess it up.”
He glanced at you again, amused. “You realise you’ve basically been running a four-year con, right?”
You groaned into your hands and dragged your palms down your face because of course this was happening, of course he was going to ruin everything by pointing out the one detail you had not thought through.
“I know, do not remind me,” you muttered, muffled and pathetic, like you could somehow smother the entire problem with your own skin if you just pressed hard enough.
There was a silence, and it was the kind that sat heavy enough to make your ribs ache, the kind that made you look up because you could feel him staring at you.
Clark had that careful expression, the one he always got when he was about to drop something you were not going to like, and you felt your stomach twist before he even opened his mouth.
“What?” you snapped, sharper than you meant to, but he was still gripping the steering wheel.
He hesitated, the pause stretching long enough that you wanted to scream, and then he said, almost cautiously, “You don’t… have a ring, do you?”
Your entire chest caved in. You clutched your robe tighter out of pure reflex even though you had changed into actual clothes an hour ago, because suddenly you were naked, you were exposed, and your heart dropped so fast it made you dizzy.
“Oh, my God. Oh, my actual God, Clark. I don’t! I never bought one. They’re going to see it immediately, they’re going to stare at my empty finger and it’s over, it’s done, they’ll know I’ve been lying for four years and then I’ll have to fake my own death and disappear to the mountains because that is the only way out of this.”
“Hey,” he cut in, calm and steady like his voice alone might anchor you before you spun yourself into oblivion. “Breathe. It’s fine.”
“It is not fine,” you hissed, shoving your hand directly at him like evidence in a trial. “Look. Naked finger. Do you see this? They will see this from across the room, they will drag me into the kitchen, and then they’ll demand answers, and then its social execution. They will bury me alive in the garden!”
Clark pressed his lips together like he was trying not to smile, which only made you want to throttle him, and then he let out a small, sheepish laugh. “Okay… so I might’ve thought of that.”
You blinked at him, wild, your voice climbing. “What do you mean, you thought of that?”
Instead of answering he flicked the indicator and pulled the car over, gravel crunching under the tyres, the sound loud enough that it scraped at your nerves. When you finally looked up the sea was spread out in front of you, pale and endless and stupidly beautiful, the kind of view you might have cried over if your brain wasn’t on fire.
“Clark,” you said slowly, suspicion crawling over you as he shifted in his seat, “what are you doing?”
He cleared his throat, awkward, his hand dipping into the inside pocket of his jacket, fumbling in a way that made your stomach drop further, and then he pulled out a small velvet box.
Your heart lurched so violently you actually gasped. “Oh my God. Is that—”
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but you, his ears already going pink. “Yeah. It’s… it’s a ring.”
You stared at him, properly stared, your brain stuttering and blank. “You… you got me a ring?”
Clark finally met your eyes and for a second he looked so nervous you almost forgot how to breathe. “I figured it would come up. People notice rings. I didn’t want you to panic more than you already were.” He held the box out with both hands, hesitant, like he was afraid you’d shove it back into his chest. “This is… this is the one.”
Your fingers brushed his when you took it, your chest too tight, and your voice cracked. “This is a ring?”
His laugh was soft, embarrassed, so quiet you had to lean closer to hear it. “Yeah. Kind of obvious, right?”
You opened it and the air left your lungs in one violent sweep.
It was beautiful, and not in the flashy gaudy way that would’ve been easier to shrug off, but in the kind of way that hurt to look at.
A gold band, simple but solid, with a diamond that caught the weak morning light and scattered it across the dashboard like it was mocking you. It looked old, and it looked like it had been waiting for years.
“Clark,” you whispered, throat burning, unable to stop staring, “I can’t wear this.”
He swallowed, his voice dropping into something softer, almost fragile. “It was my ma’s. Her mother gave it to her. She wanted me to have it. Said it was for when I met… you know. The one.”
Your head snapped up so fast it almost hurt, your eyes wide, panic spilling everywhere. “Clark, no, absolutely not. I cannot wear this. This isn’t a prop, this isn’t—this is family, Clark.”
He gave a tiny shrug but his jaw was locked tight, his whole body saying he meant it. “She’d want it used. Not left in a drawer.”
You shook your head, clutching the box like it was a live grenade, because this was insane, it was so far beyond the boundaries of your fake plan you could hardly process it. “Clark, this is wrong. We’re lying, we’re faking it, we’re—God—we’re tricking everyone, and you want me to do it wearing something that actually matters?”
His gaze held steady, nervous but immovable, like he was bracing himself to take the hit. “It means something if you let it. Otherwise, it’s just a ring.”
You wanted to tell him no, to shove it back into his hand and demand he find you something cheap and plastic, something that could never feel heavy in your palm. But your throat was thick, your eyes stung, and the diamond kept catching the light like it was laughing at you for ever thinking you could control this.
You sit there gripping the box so tightly it feels like your knuckles might split, like if you loosen your hold even slightly it might detonate right there between you, and he just sits steady the way he always does, like nothing in the world could shake him, and it only makes you feel worse, because you’re sitting here on the verge of combustion while Clark Kent looks like Clark Kent, calm and patient and maddening.
The silence stretches and stretches until it feels like a weight pressing down on your ribs, so thin and fragile it could snap at any second, and you can’t take it anymore, your breath breaking out of you in a shudder, and all you manage is a single word, low and wrecked, “Fine.”
His shoulders drop in that instant, a subtle easing, relief softening the set of his jaw, and before you can swallow the word back or decide you’ve made a terrible mistake he reaches forward, so slow, so deliberate, giving you every chance to pull away even though you don’t, and his fingers brush yours, warm, steady, achingly gentle, and it’s ridiculous how that single touch is what undoes you more than anything.
He takes the box from you, cradling it like it isn’t a bomb, like it’s nothing more than a box, and then, without a flicker of hesitation, he opens it. Pops it open like he’s just unwrapping something ordinary, not stepping with you into something that feels like walking into fire.
He slides the ring out, holding it between his fingers, turning it once, the smallest movement, and then he looks at you, properly looks at you, and your chest twists, your pulse stumbles, because there’s something in his gaze you can’t read, something heavy and intent, and it makes everything so much worse.
“Clark,” you breathe, your voice breaking with the panic already clawing up your throat.
He clears his throat, quiet, unhurried, but steady enough to make your stomach lurch. “Will you marry me?”
Your head jerks, eyes wide, your mouth open but empty, because what the hell, because it’s insane, because you know this is supposed to be fake and yet hearing it out loud like that is nothing you were ready for. “Why are you asking me like that?”
“Because,” he says, calm on the surface but a thread of something else tugging underneath, almost sheepish in the way he meets your stare, “you’ll have to get used to it. People are going to want the story. They’ll ask, over and over. And if I can’t even say the words to you, then how am I supposed to convince anyone else?”
The laugh that rips out of you is half-choked, almost hysterical, and you clutch at the seatbelt across your chest. “Gosh. You’re rehearsing? You’re actually rehearsing this? In a car by the sea, Clark? Are you serious?”
His lips twitch, the smallest crack in his composure, and he says it so simply it drives you mad. “Practice makes perfect.”
Your head falls back against the seat, and you’re laughing because there’s no other way to survive the absurdity of this, because he’s insane, he has to be. “You’re insane,” you tell him.
But he doesn’t look away and just holds the ring, like it’s not just part of a scheme, his gaze steady on yours, and when he says, “Will you?”
It doesn’t sound like a joke, it doesn’t sound fake at all, in fact.
It should be easy, it should be light, it should be nothing more than a game you both agreed to play, but your throat is tight and your chest aches and you can barely force the words past the knot inside you. “Yes,” you laugh, except it’s wet at the edges, breaking against the tears you’re fighting, “yes, I’ll marry you, Clark Kent.”
Something flickers in his eyes then, something raw and unguarded that you can’t pin down before it’s gone, shuttered away so neatly you almost convince yourself you imagined it. Almost.
And then he takes your hand, sliding the ring onto your finger with a gentleness that makes your heart cave in, slow and deliberate, like it belongs there, as if this isn’t fake at all.
The church was already spilling over by the time you pulled up, cars lining the road, people milling about in their best clothes, voices carrying in that bright early morning air, and your stomach dropped right through the floor because this was it, no more rehearsal, no more time to prepare.
Clark cut the engine, and for a second neither of you moved. You stared at the heavy wooden doors, the crowd of relatives and neighbours and people you barely knew but who all knew you, and your hand was already clammy before his even found it.
He reached across so simply, fingers brushing yours, and then he was holding on, steady, grounding, like he hadn’t just put a family heirloom on your finger minutes ago.
You wanted to pull away but you didn’t.
Walking up the path, hand in hand, you could feel the stares already, the whispers barely muted. Your aunt glanced down at your joined hands and her brows went up, sharp as anything, and you knew this was going to spread through the pews faster than the organ could get through the first hymn.
And then there was the sting, sudden and sour, when you saw your sister flanked by her best friends, all satin and flowers and cameras flashing, and not a spot for you amongst them. It should have hurt more. It didn’t. You weren’t here to be her bridesmaid, you were just here to stand and clap and smile when she said her vows, and that was fine. This was her day, not yours.
Except Clark’s thumb brushed your knuckles, light as a whisper, and it dragged you right back into the absurdity of it all, because while your sister was about to marry the love of her life, you were standing here pretending, your pulse hammering like you’d stolen someone else’s story.
Someone called your name, your cousin maybe, but you couldn’t tear your eyes from the glint of the ring under the church lights, sharp and cruel, and all you could think was how in the hell you were supposed to carry this off when you already felt like the lie was carved into your skin.
Clark leaned down, close enough that his breath brushed your ear. “You okay?”
You swallowed hard. “Do I look okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, quiet, almost amused. “You look like you’re about to faint.”
“Great,” you muttered, dragging yourself forward because there was no other option, the ushers were already funneling people inside like cattle and you couldn’t exactly dig your heels into the church steps and refuse to move. “Exactly the look I was going for.”
And of course, because the universe hated you, they were there, all of them, like they’d set up camp at the doorway purely to catch you. Your mum saw you first and her whole body jolted, hand flying to her chest like she’d just witnessed a miracle.
“Oh, he’s finally here!” she gasped, eyes bright as she turned that beam on Clark like she’d conjured him into existence through sheer force of will. “I was beginning to think you’d been keeping him hidden from us.”
“Mum,” you hissed, low, desperate, but it didn’t matter, she was already reaching for Clark’s hand, smoothing her hair like she was about to meet the Pope.
And then your brother, because obviously it had to be him, crossed his arms and gave Clark the slowest, most infuriating once-over, like he was appraising cattle. “So he’s actually real then? Thought maybe you’d rented him from the internet.”
Your hand flew out on instinct, smacking his arm hard enough to make him flinch. “You’re such an idiot.”
He grinned, rubbing the spot with exaggerated pain. “What? I’m just saying. We were starting to place bets. Months of ‘Boyfie said this’ and ‘Boyfie did that’ with no actual proof? Pfft suspicious.”
“Children,” your dad cut in, sharp enough that the word cracked through all the noise, that exact tone that used to send you lot scrambling when you were kids. “Behave. This is your sister’s wedding, not the playground.”
But of course your brother leaned in anyway, muttering, “She hit me first,” before ducking away with that smug grin that made you want to strangle him right there in front of God and everyone.
Meanwhile Clark, the traitor, menace, perfect bastard, just smiled all calm and polite, extending his hand like this wasn’t a firing squad. “Sir,” he said, warm, steady, with that faint drawl curling the edges, and your dad, your dad, who hadn’t smiled in weeks actually looked impressed.
“Oh, isn’t he charming,” your mum breathed, practically glowing, like Clark had just solved all her problems by existing. “What a lovely young man! I like him.”
You gawked. “You just met him.”
“That’s all it takes,” she said matter-of-factly, and then turned her entire focus back on Clark as if you weren’t standing there, as if you hadn’t just combusted into flames. “We’ve been waiting a long time to meet you, young man. She talks about you all the time. More than she realises.”
“Mum,” you snapped, heat crawling up your neck, but Clark was already glancing down at you with that infuriating glint, the one that meant he was eating this up, every humiliating second of it.
And because the devil works fast but your younger brother works faster, he leaned in on your other side, voice low but enough for Clark to hear. “He seems too good for you, sis.”
You spun, teeth bared. “Say that again and I’ll murder you in this church. I don’t care if God’s watching.”
Clark had the audacity to laugh, soft and low, disguising it like a cough, which only made you crush his hand tighter, knuckles white. He looked down at your grip, then back up at you, maddeningly calm, and murmured, “Easy there.”
Before you could even open your mouth to snap at him, there was another voice, cutting clean through the thick awkwardness, and there she was, your other sister, striding across the tiles, balancing her son on her hip as if the chunky little weight was nothing at all.
Her eyes swept over you first, then Clark, and the curve of her mouth shifted into that smile, the one that always meant trouble, the one that made your stomach sink because it was far too knowing already and she hadn’t even opened her mouth yet.
“So this is him,” she said, her tone light and casual, almost airy, but her gaze sharp enough to make you bristle on instinct, like she was cataloguing everything about him now so she could interrogate you later over wine.
“Apparently,” you muttered under your breath, ready to roll your eyes skyward, but of course she didn’t even bother acknowledging you, adjusting her son higher against her shoulder before sticking her free hand out toward Clark.
“I’m her sister. The normal one. Nice to finally meet you.”
Clark, bloody saint that he was, smiled with that soft politeness of his and shook her hand with the same steady warmth he’d used on your dad, which only made you want to groan, because of course he was going to charm her too, wasn’t he, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, your nephew suddenly lunged toward him with both grabby little hands, chubby fingers stretching, babbling complete nonsense like Clark was the most exciting person in the world, like he’d just spotted the sun and wanted to pocket it.
“Oh, for crying out loud,” you hissed, glaring at the child who only grinned wider, cheeks dimpling like he knew exactly what he was doing. “He doesn’t even do that with me.”
Your sister laughed, shifting the boy’s weight easily, bouncing him once on her hip before tilting her head toward Clark with that amused gleam in her eyes. “He’s a good judge of character. Kids always know.”
Clark chuckled softly, not helping matters in the slightest, and brushed a fingertip over the baby’s tiny fist when it latched around his thumb with surprising strength. “He’s a strong one,” he murmured, his whole face lighting up with genuine delight.
You could feel heat crawling up the back of your neck, the tips of your ears burning, because this was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. “Don’t encourage him,” you snapped, crossing your arms tighter across your chest like that would somehow shield you from the scene unfolding right in front of you.
“Why not?” Clark said simply, like he genuinely couldn’t understand the problem, like it was the most natural thing in the world to let a baby cling to him as if they’d been best friends for years. Your nephew squealed in sheer delight at his voice, tiny fingers tightening their hold, refusing to let go, drool collecting at the corner of his smile.
Your sister raised her eyebrows at you, clearly enjoying every second of this. “Looks like he likes him. Honestly, I was expecting… I don’t know. Someone rougher around the edges, maybe, but you’ve done well.”
“I didn’t ‘do well’,” you snapped again, your voice climbing louder than you meant it to. “I’m not shopping at a bloody market stall!”
Clark’s lips twitched, his whole expression shifting as if he was desperately trying not to laugh, which only made it worse.
Your sister just rolled her eyes in that superior way she always had, switching your nephew onto her other arm as if to punctuate her point. “Whatever you say, but he’s definitely family-approved already, whether you like it or not.”
You groaned, dragging your hand down your face, trying to cover the mortification burning across your skin, muttering through your palm, “I hate all of you.”
“Love you too, little sister,” she sang back without missing a beat, her heels clicking away as she disappeared down the hall, her son still babbling and giggling happily, his little hand stretched out toward Clark until they were both out of sight.
For a moment there was silence, the kind that pressed in on you, the kind that made your grip on Clark’s hand tighten without you even realising. He glanced down at you, his thumb brushing gently over the back of your knuckles, grounding in that soft way only he managed. “You okay?” he asked quietly, voice pitched just for you.
You tilted your head up at him, glaring through the flush on your cheeks. “Don’t start.”
The wedding begins slowly, almost shyly, like the air itself is holding its breath, the music soft at first and then swelling, filling every inch of the church with something grand and holy and terrifying, and it is the shift in the crowd that makes your skin prickle, the way voices drop, the way chairs scrape faintly before everyone rises at once, all heads turning toward the doors at the back.
You turn too, though your stomach has been clenched tight for what feels like hours, your lungs pulling shallow air that does not seem to reach deep enough, because you already know what is waiting, you already know the weight of it before it even happens.
And then she appears. Your sister, your baby sister, framed in the doorway in a dress so impossibly white it almost blinds you, the fabric catching the light like it is spun out of something celestial, her hand looped carefully through your dad’s arm, her steps hesitant and trembling in a way that breaks you even before she is halfway down the aisle.
Her face is soft and shaking, the kind of trembling that comes from joy too big to carry and fear too sharp to hide, and your dad looks so steady beside her, proud in a way that makes your throat close, his back straight and his jaw set like he is holding himself together for her sake.
The sight of them hits you harder than you thought it would, almost violently, like a hand pressing straight into the middle of your chest, because it is not just the image of your sister in a dress and your father walking her toward her future, it is the realisation of what this moment means, what it promises, and how far it feels from anything you could ever touch.
You cannot stop the knot in your chest, that ugly twisting, the whisper that tells you this kind of fairytale is not meant for you. Not the dress, not the aisle, not the someone waiting at the end with eyes already wet because you exist, because loving you is enough to undo them.
Not the story that makes entire rooms cry just from watching.
Your chest aches like it is hollow and your throat burns like you swallowed something sharp, and you hate yourself for it, for being so pathetic, for daring to feel grief in the middle of her joy, but it does not matter how much you tell yourself to stop, the sting behind your eyes rises anyway, hot and impatient and unforgiving in its timing.
And then Clark’s hands. They appear suddenly, folding around yours with such warmth and steadiness that it startles you, like you had forgotten you even had hands until he anchored them. His palms are firm, his fingers curling over yours with intention, as though he is tethering you, pulling you out of the spiral before you can vanish into it completely.
You glance up at him, startled, and he is looking at you the way he always does, but sharper now, more piercing, that gentleness too much, that patience too unbearable when you are crumbling in silence beside him.
His expression is open, impossibly kind, too soft for what this is supposed to be, and it only makes the ache worse because you know you do not deserve it.
You sniff hard, forcing your mouth into something that might pass as a smile, tight and fragile like cracked glass, nodding quickly as though you can tell him without words, I am fine, I am fine, do not make this worse, do not look at me like that.
His thumb brushes against your knuckle once, slow and grounding, not insistent, just present, and it is enough, somehow, to keep your chest from splitting entirely open in the middle of the ceremony.
When you force your gaze back to the aisle, your sister is already halfway to the altar, her bouquet trembling in her hands the same way her lips tremble when she blinks too fast.
And then she reaches him, her husband-to-be, standing there at the end of the aisle with his whole world written across his face, his expression undone in the most devastating way, his tears catching in the light, his mouth trembling open as if the sight of her is too much to contain. He is not composed, not stoic, not trying to hide how much he feels, and it cracks him wide open right in front of everyone.
Your dad takes her hand so carefully, almost reverently, and places it into his. The gesture is simple, tradition etched into every movement, but it lands inside you like a blow, the lump in your throat so sharp it forces you to swallow hard, your vision blurring just as the two hands meet, as her life folds into his.
And all you can do is stand there, blinking against the burn, anchored by Clark’s grip and undone by everything else, watching your sister step into a story you are certain will never be yours.
The murmurs died down and then the officiant began, voice soft and steady, guiding them into the moment that was supposed to be sacred and contained and almost unbearably beautiful. You could feel the tension in the room stretching through you, every seat in the church suddenly pressing against your ribs as if the air itself were waiting.
Your sister inhaled, her chest rising under the delicate fabric of her gown, her eyes locking on him, her hands trembling slightly even as they held onto his.
And then he spoke, his voice quiet at first, but every word carving through the church like it belonged there, like it could not be stopped. “I never thought I’d be standing here, marrying you, because I never thought anyone could make me feel like this, like I was home for the first time in my life, like everything else fell away when I looked at you.”
Your chest clenched immediately, instinctive and sharp, and your hand tightened around Clark’s without thinking, your knuckles whitening against his.
It was such a simple, human reaction, a tether to the world that didn’t feel like it was going to rip apart under the weight of this moment, because even though you knew it wasn’t about you, even though it was your sister’s day, hearing those words made everything inside you combust in ways you weren’t prepared to name.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Clark glance down at your hand, the faintest flicker of something in his eyes, a question, a warning, an acknowledgment, but you did not allow yourself to meet it.
You had to keep your gaze forward, had to keep watching her, had to keep pretending that this distance, this air between you and the raw ache in your chest, could be managed. Your eyes stayed locked on your sister, on the way her lips parted in that tiny, unguarded smile that made everything else feel sharp and impossible.
Her husband’s words continued, each one carefully measured, filled with everything he had kept in his chest for years, and you felt the pulse of it, the way it settled deep under your skin, and you knew you were holding your breath, holding onto Clark because it was the only thing that made the ache bearable, the only thing that let you stand upright without collapsing entirely in front of all these people, because the world was collapsing inside your chest and this hand, warm and steady, was the only anchor you had.
You forced yourself to blink, to nod ever so slightly, just enough to convince the world you were present, just enough to convince yourself that you weren’t dissolving entirely, and even as you did, the words continued to land, quiet and devastating, a tide pulling at something you hadn’t wanted to admit was there, a part of you that had always wanted that kind of certainty, that kind of love, and yet you had never, and would never, have it.
And still, the hand in yours squeezed just enough to say we’re here, we’re holding, we’re surviving, and for now, that was enough.
You swallowed hard, blinking rapidly, because suddenly the room felt too bright, the polished pews too shiny, the quiet sniffles too loud, and you were hyperaware of everyone’s eyes, even though they weren’t on you. You could feel Clark’s gaze lingering, steady but soft, like he was reading you without needing words, like he knew you were unraveling and he wasn’t going to let go.
Your sister’s voice wavered slightly as she replied, her vows trembling but full of that raw, unpolished honesty that made people lean in, made your stomach twist in ways you didn’t want to admit. And your hand squeezed Clark’s without thinking, your grip tightening as if holding onto him could somehow hold the world together.
You stole a glance at him from the corner of your eye, just a flicker, and he gave you that small, almost imperceptible nod, letting you know it was okay, that he was right there, that he had you. And then you had to look away, focus forward, because her words, beautiful, unguarded, full of that impossible hope, were searing right through you, and your chest felt too tight to breathe normally.
He spoke again, low but steady, recounting memories you knew only she could understand, and you felt that familiar ache flare up again, sharp and quick, because here she was, standing in the kind of love story you’d been convinced you’d never get to have, and yet you were tethered to it, through the hand in yours, through the warmth and calm of Clark’s presence.
The officiant’s voice cut in softly, directing them through the last pieces, and your sister’s hand slid into his completely, her fingers lacing through his, and for the briefest moment, your chest unclenched slightly, not because it was easy but because it was complete.
The moment was absolute, and while the world spun around you, the tightness in your stomach, the fluttering of your pulse, it was almost bearable because his hand was there, grounding you, reminding you that you were still tethered, still whole, still managing to exist in this impossible, perfect chaos.
And then, as they spoke their final words, promising themselves to each other, the whole room seemed to exhale, and your shoulders finally loosened just a fraction, your grip on Clark easing, but not letting go, because even in the midst of their story, even while your own chest ached, you realised that holding onto this small, solid connection was the only thing keeping you upright, the only thing keeping you from tumbling entirely into the kind of longing you’d spent years burying.
After the wedding, the reception was chaos and glitter and flowers and everyone trying too hard to be polite while quietly evaluating every single detail as though the entire day depended on them, and you could feel the tension and excitement vibrating in the air like static electricity, your heels pinching at the wrong places, your dress slightly itchy in all the wrong ways, and Clark’s hand never leaving yours as you navigated the sea of relatives and distant acquaintances you mostly pretended to remember.
“Do you want a drink?” he asked, leaning close so his breath brushed your ear, calm and steady in a way that almost made you forget you were still about to combust from sheer social panic.
“I need water,” you muttered, dragging him toward the drinks table, your voice low enough so no one could hear, though somehow everyone probably did anyway, because you were you, and subtlety had never been your strong suit.
He handed you a glass, watching you with those ridiculous eyes that seemed far too focused, far too kind, and you took it like it was a lifeline. “Thanks,” you said, and immediately felt like an idiot for the dryness in your throat, because of course your voice had gone all shaky again.
“People are staring,” he said quietly, nodding toward the crowd that was definitely noticing the two of you, which only made your stomach twist further because yes, they were looking, and yes, it felt like everyone could read every thought and panic bubbling under your skin.
“I can feel them,” you hissed under your breath, glancing around, and then muttering, “They know, they all know, they can smell the lie on me, I can feel it in the air.”
Clark chuckled softly, a sound that made your chest tighten in an entirely different way, and he squeezed your hand. “They’re just looking,” he said, calm as anything, and you nearly rolled your eyes. “It’s a reception, not an interrogation.”
“Sure,” you muttered, voice dripping with sarcasm, “except everyone here is judging every breath I take, and I have to smile and nod like a normal human being while my eyeliner is sweating and my shoes are stabbing my feet.”
He leaned closer again, smirk tugging at his lips. “You’re doing fine,” he said, quiet but firm, and you could feel the weight of his certainty like a grounding force, and it was almost enough to make you believe it for half a second before your cousin’s laughter nearby reminded you that you were still very much on display.
“Do you want to dance?” he asked suddenly, tilting his head toward the band, and you froze, because of course, yes, dancing. That was an excellent idea, entirely going to be a disaster.
“I can’t dance,” you said immediately, panic rising in your chest, and Clark tilted his head, patient but amused, and you had to explain, because apparently that was necessary, “I mean, I literally cannot dance. I trip over flat surfaces, and if you think I’m going to sway gently and gracefully like some romantic movie character, you are dreaming. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
Clark’s lips twitched, that little amused lift at the corner, but he didn’t say anything, just waited, which made you continue, spiraling faster, “And yes, I’ve thought about it, okay, I’ve tried to fake it in the privacy of my room, spinning around like a human windmill, but it never works. I always end up dizzy, tangled in my own arms, muttering nonsense, and frankly, it’s better for everyone if I just stay put, sway awkwardly in a corner, or pretend I’m just really into observing the décor. That’s the safest option.”
You pressed a hand to your forehead, exhaling sharply. “So don’t ask me to dance. I cannot, I will not, and this is not negotiable. I know what you’re thinking, that I’m just nervous, but this is not nerves – ”
You hadn’t even finished your tirade about your catastrophic dancing skills when Clark’s eyes flicked toward the edge of the room, that faintly mischievous glint in them making your stomach sink.
“Someone’s coming,” he murmured, just low enough that you could hear, and before you could ask who, your eyes went wide and you knew immediately.
Your nosy aunts. The ones who could smell a lie from a mile away and whose sole purpose in life seemed to be monitoring everyone’s social behaviour with surgical precision.
You froze for a second, panic threatening to take over, and then your brain, working at full chaotic speed, fired off a plan. You set your glass down a little too firmly, grabbing Clark’s hand with a grip that was both desperate and decisive, and yanked him toward the centre of the dance floor.
“Oh babe, come on, let’s dance!” you called out, loud enough for your aunts to hear, forcing a fake giggle that sounded far too shrill for comfort, and immediately cursed yourself internally because now you were fully committed and there was no turning back.
Clark’s eyebrows rose, but that familiar soft smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. He didn’t protest. Instead, he slid his hand into yours and led you toward the first slow song of the evening, the band swelling in that way that made every bride, groom, and their unfortunate guests look like they were part of some cinematic moment you had no right to be in.
As soon as you were on the floor, you realized just how unprepared you were. You tried to sway gently like people in films did, but your knees went stiff, your feet refused to cooperate, and every attempt to move in sync with the music ended in what could only be described as flailing. You were convinced that if someone filmed this, it would be used as evidence against you in some future court of humiliation.
Clark, sensing your rising panic, didn’t let go. He kept his hand on your waist, guiding you with a patience that was infuriatingly perfect, murmuring, “Hey, it’s fine, just follow me, look at me, don’t think about anything else.”
His voice was calm, a soft anchor in the storm of your nerves, and you tried to focus on it, though your limbs still insisted on moving like they had a vendetta against you.
You laughed nervously, half-groaning at your own lack of coordination, and he tilted his head, still patient, guiding your steps, “There, see? You’re doing fine, just trust me.”
“Fine?” you echoed, eyes wide as you nearly tripped over your own feet, “Fine is catastrophic, I am a danger to everyone on this floor.”
He chuckled, tugging you slightly closer so you wouldn’t fall, “No, you’re doing fine. Just don’t stop moving and don’t think, just follow my lead.”
And somehow, impossibly, it started working. Not perfectly, not smoothly, but enough that you weren’t dragging anyone into disaster. Your arms were still stiff, your steps awkward, and you were acutely aware of your aunts’ sharp eyes from the sidelines, but Clark’s presence grounded you.
His hands were steady on your waist, guiding your turns, soft murmurs in your ear making you relax just enough to stop panicking, and every small movement you managed to pull off felt like a tiny victory.
You kept your voice loud enough for the nosy aunts to hear, “Oh babe, you’re amazing at this, I don’t know how I got so lucky!” forcing another fake giggle, and Clark laughed quietly, eyes glinting with amusement, holding you steady, making you feel like maybe, just maybe, this disastrous dance could somehow pass.
You stumbled slightly, foot catching his, and your breath hitched, but he didn’t let go.
He adjusted your hold, murmuring, “It’s okay, you’re fine, really,” and somehow, despite every instinct screaming that you were about to collapse, you found a rhythm, messy and imperfect, but real, anchored by him, and for the first time since you’d set foot on the floor, you allowed yourself to forget the crowd, forget your aunts, and just follow.
You blinked up at him, breath still shaky, and whispered, “Are they gone?”
Clark’s lips curved into that maddeningly calm smile, and he shook his head just slightly. “They’re watching,” he murmured, low and steady.
Your stomach lurched and you opened your mouth to say something, some panicked protest about public humiliation or the sheer absurdity of it all, but before a word could escape, his hand on your waist shifted, and he swayed you gently against him. Just a little, a teasing, impossibly smooth motion that made your chest tighten and your pulse spike in ways that were far too loud in your own ears.
The music then slowed, the band easing into a soft, lingering song that made the room shrink to just the two of you, the laughter and clinking glasses fading into the background. His other hand found yours, holding it lightly but with enough pressure to steady you, and you realized that even with a dozen eyes on you from somewhere out there, none of it mattered.
You wanted to protest, to pull away, but every instinct that normally screamed disaster in social situations was muffled under the sheer weight of how close he was, how careful and deliberate his touch was.
Your cheek brushed against his shoulder when you turned slightly, and you caught the faint scent of him, clean and familiar, like this was home and you weren’t allowed to panic.
“Clark,” you whispered, voice tight, “this is… too close.”
He tilted his head, that little smirk curling the corner of his mouth, but didn’t let go, didn’t break the sway. “It’s fine,” he said, soft, almost tender. “Just follow me.”
And so you did, more because you had no choice than any kind of skill, letting him guide you, the gentle rhythm of his movements anchoring you to the moment. Your heart hammered, loud enough that you could feel it against his chest, and every so often your eyes flicked to the edge of the crowd, half-expecting to catch your aunts with smug expressions, but somehow you didn’t care.
The song stretched on, slow and sweet, and for a few moments you let yourself sink entirely into it, into him, into the absurdity of standing on a polished floor, swaying poorly to a song that somehow felt like it was written just for the two of you. Your fingers squeezed his hand reflexively, your grip tight, and when he murmured a quiet, “Relax,” it was enough to make your chest unclench just a little.
Then your eyes met his, and suddenly the rest of the room disappeared entirely. The soft glow of the chandeliers, the distant chatter and laughter, the clinking of glasses, none of it existed.
Just him, just you, and the space between your faces shrinking impossibly fast.
Your gaze flicked involuntarily, catching the curve of his lips, imagining the way they would feel against yours, and heat surged through you in a way that made your palms sweat even as they clung to his.
He held your gaze, steady and calm, but there was something in his eyes now, something unspoken, something that made your stomach twist and your breath hitch in ways you hadn’t expected. You had to fight not to tilt your head closer, not to close the distance that your body was already craving, because the tension was thick, palpable, and dizzying, pressing in from all sides.
Every sway, every tiny step, felt electric. The faint brush of his chest against yours, the way his thumb traced little circles on your hand, it all pulled you closer, made your heart hammer like it was trying to escape your ribs.
You caught yourself staring again at his lips, daring not to breathe too loudly, because God, the thought of what would happen if you just leaned in, if you let it happen even for a heartbeat, made your pulse spike until you could barely think.
You weren’t sure if he noticed, or if he did and was just as tortured, but the way his eyes lingered on yours, the smallest twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth, it was enough to make the world tilt dangerously, wonderfully, and terribly.
You wanted to step back, to remind yourself of reason and the absurdity of being caught in the middle of a wedding reception, but your body refused, glued to him, and the moment stretched impossibly, deliciously long, suspended between what was allowed and what neither of you could stop wanting.
You both finally eased away from the polished floor, the music fading behind you as you sank into your chairs at the head table with the rest of your sister’s family, your dress still warm from the frantic movement and your pulse stubbornly racing.
Clark’s hands found yours again on the table, folding over them the same way he had when he’d anchored you on the dance floor, and for a moment the noise around you; the laughter, the clinking of cutlery, the faint chatter of other guests blurred into a soft hum that didn’t reach you.
You glanced at him, another tight-lipped smile curling reluctantly at your own lips, the kind that said I’m surviving, barely, and he returned it with that soft, patient expression that made everything else fall away, like he was deliberately slowing the world just so you could breathe.
Your fingers squeezed his in answer, tentative, a silent acknowledgment that somehow, despite the ridiculousness of all this, you weren’t completely alone in it.
The maid of honour wrapped up her speech, applause rippling through the hall, and you watched the bride smile, her eyes gleaming, her cheeks flushed, and you tried not to flinch at the way the happy chaos pressed against your chest, the reminder that this was her day, that you were here only as part of the backdrop, and still, with Clark there, warm and steady and impossibly close, it didn’t feel entirely like a stage you were forced onto.
He tilted his head toward you, soft enough that only you noticed, and murmured, “You okay?”
You blinked at him, trying to play it off, letting a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding slip out. “Yeah,” you said, voice quieter than usual, not entirely believable even to yourself, and gave him a tighter smile, the kind that didn’t quite reach your eyes.
Clark just nodded, thumb brushing along your knuckles once, slow and grounding, and you realised you didn’t have to answer because he could read the tension anyway, and somehow that was enough to keep the world from collapsing around you for just a little longer.
The applause from the maid of honour’s speech was still settling when the microphone shifted to your father. He cleared his throat and began, voice steady and deliberate, carrying easily across the hall.
He started with your sister, telling stories that painted her in all the right lights, stories that made the crowd laugh, murmur, lean in, the kind that made your chest tighten because the pride and warmth in his voice was impossible to ignore.
He spoke about her childhood, scraped knees she’d worn like badges, late nights full of whispered secrets, the stubborn streak that had got her into trouble more times than he could count, and the small victories that had shaped her into the person everyone now admired.
He talked about the friends she’d chosen, the way she had grown, the moments she had fought for herself, and you felt each word pressing into your chest like a weight you weren’t ready to carry.
He slowed, careful with his pauses, choosing words that made you notice his glance wander around the room, until it finally rested on you. “And oh, our other daughter there,” he said, and the pause stretched long enough to make your stomach lurch, “she’s getting married too.”
Your heart stopped, panic tightening in your chest. Eyes turned, murmurs ran across the crowd, and your hands immediately found his, gripping, holding like it was the only lifeline in the room. Your pulse jumped, but he didn’t move.
His thumb traced circles across the back of your hand, soft, steady, and the warmth of him there stopped the world from tipping over entirely.
Your father’s voice continued, now directed at him, the stranger to your family until today, the one you’d been keeping at arm’s length but who now occupied the centre of everyone’s gaze. “I haven’t had the chance to meet you properly until today,” your dad said, a little hesitant, “but I can see she’s found someone who respects her, who cares for her in the ways that matter. You’ve already made an impression, and I am grateful for that. I am grateful that she has someone steady by her side, someone she can count on, someone I can trust to stand with her through life’s moments. Welcome to the family, Clark.”
He pressed closer, just a little, leaning down to brush his lips softly against your temple, and your chest both sank and seized. The intimacy of it, the weight of everyone’s attention, the fact that you were standing here pretending through every approving glance, pressed into you like fire.
You clutched his hand tighter, the heat rising behind your eyes, and for the first time all night you let yourself notice how absurd it felt, how real it looked, and how much you hated the lie you were living even as your father’s words kept echoing in your ears.
The reception had settled into its usual rhythm by then, laughter bouncing off the walls, glasses clinking, people shifting in and out of conversation. You had been planted at your seat by your mum, who insisted on filming everything, and you were holding your drink like it was a lifeline, trying to blend into the chaos. She kept nudging the phone in front of your face. “Smile, darling, everyone will want to see this later,” she said brightly, like your life was a highlight reel. You groaned into your hand, muttering that no one would want to see your panicked, frozen expression, but she ignored you entirely, adjusting the camera so you could be seen in full, upright terror.
Clark had positioned himself beside your father, leaning casually against the chair back, one hand resting lightly on the table, his posture loose, amused, like he wasn’t a part of this social storm at all. Every so often, his gaze found you, that faint smile tugging at his lips, and you returned a glare sharp enough to send sparks, which he met with nothing but a calm shrug, and the weight in your chest tightened a little because somehow that look made you feel like the entire room had dissolved down to just the two of you.
Then the energy shifted. Your sister raised her bouquet high, cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling with nerves and joy, and called out, “Alright ladies, get ready!”
The circle of single women stiffened, bouncing on their toes, hands poised, whispering to one another, eyes flicking between each other and the flower held aloft.
Your mum leaned over, practically poking you in the side. “Go on, love, catch it, don’t be shy,” she said loudly enough for half the room to hear. You groaned, rolling your eyes, muttering that this wasn’t some desperate teenage ritual, but she ignored you completely, already filming every twitch of your expression.
Clark leaned closer, voice low and steady in your ear. “It’s just a flower,” he said, calm as anything, like the world wasn’t spinning a mile a minute around you. You shot him a glare sharp enough to sting, muttering that he clearly didn’t understand the stakes.
He just raised his hands innocently, giving a small shrug, and murmured, “Alright, I’ll stand here and make sure no one throws anything worse at you,” as if that made everything better.
Your sister swung the bouquet back, and the world slowed. You could hear the collective intake of breath from the circle of women, feel the tension stretching across the room like it had weight.
Everyone leaned forward, eyes wide, arms out, the air thick with anticipation. You froze in the middle of it, your mind screaming that you could move, that you should move, but your body betrayed you, rooted to the spot.
And then it happened. The bouquet sailed through the air, not to the side, not to someone else, but straight at you.
Time stretched impossibly as it arced toward your hands. You blinked, frozen, and then instinctively, fingers closing around it. Your chest hammered so violently you could feel it in your throat.
Your mum was behind the camera, shrieking, “She’s got it! She’s got it!” and you could hear the chaos of laughter and cheers, the whooping and the shuffling of feet, but all of it was muffled, distant, because your brain was registering nothing but the bouquet and the weight of it in your hands.
Clark’s eyes found yours immediately. That same calm amusement lingered in them, soft but infuriating, like he knew exactly what was happening inside your head, and you glared at him, willing him to look away, but he just shrugged, tiny smile playing at his lips, as if he was silently saying, “Well, congratulations.”
Your fingers tightened around the stems as if holding it harder would ground you, your pulse hammering in your ears.
You forced a smile for your mum’s phone, the edges tight and trembling, because your mind was already spiraling, imagining the whispered comments, the eyes following you, the absurdity of standing there with the bouquet in your hands as if it had been meant for you all along.
And Clark, still leaning slightly against your father, still calm and amused, gave you that look, the one soft, fond look that made your stomach twist, like he actually saw you in the middle of all this chaos, like none of it mattered except for you, and somehow, just for a second, it grounded you, even though your chest was still on fire, and your brain was still screaming that none of this was real.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
The room had thinned out considerably by the time you even noticed, the bride and groom long gone in their shiny getaway car, and most of the guests either lingering with plates of leftover cake or helping stack chairs and sweep up confetti. You were still standing near the edge of the dance floor, staring down at the bouquet in your hands like it held all the answers to some impossible puzzle, your fingers curling around the stems, trying not to crush them.
Clark came up behind you quietly, his footsteps soft against the polished floor, and before you could even turn he was there, close enough that you could feel the faint warmth radiating from him.
“You look like you’re solving the world’s problems with that thing,” he said gently, his voice low so no one else could hear, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
You didn’t look up at first, just muttered, “I’m trying to figure out how this ended up in my hands instead of floating off into the abyss where it belongs.”
He chuckled, soft and warm, and knelt slightly so he was level with you, tilting his head. “You’re meant to catch it,” he said, and for a moment the simple statement hung in the air, too quiet to be noticed by anyone else, but heavy enough that your chest tightened.
“I didn’t ask for it,” you whispered, and finally let your eyes meet his. There was that same calm, unshakable look in his gaze, the one that somehow made you feel safe even when your brain was still screaming at you that everything was wrong.
“You didn’t ask for a lot of things,” he said softly, fingers brushing against yours before he took the bouquet gently from your hands, holding it between the two of you. “But you got them anyway.”
You blinked, caught off guard by the intimacy of it, the closeness of him, the way his hand lingered just a fraction too long. “Clark…”
He smiled, that faint, fond curl of lips that made you forget to breathe properly. “Hey. It’s just a bunch of flowers,” he said lightly, but there was a weight under it, a meaning he didn’t have to say aloud.
You shook your head, a small laugh escaping, shaky but genuine. “Yeah, just a bunch of flowers. And yet somehow it feels like… like more than that right now.”
He tilted his head, watching you carefully, patient and steady, like he could hold the world in place if he just focused hard enough. “It’s only what you let it be,” he said softly. “Or maybe… it’s only as big as you let it feel.”
You blinked at him, breath catching, because that sounded so simple and yet it made your chest ache all over again. He gave a small, knowing smile, and then, before you could even process it, he took your hand and said, “Come with me.”
“Now?” you asked, voice a little breathless, half from surprise and half from the lingering adrenaline of the wedding.
“Yes, now,” he said, patient, but there was a spark in his eyes, the kind that made it impossible to refuse him.
You let him lead you out of the hall, weaving past stacks of chairs and the last of the confetti-covered tables, until you reached a small path that curved up toward the back of the property. You didn’t even notice how steep the climb was, just followed him because he was right there, and something in the quiet insistence of him made your legs move without protest.
Eventually he stopped, and you realised he had found a bench tucked just off the path, hidden slightly by a row of tall bushes. You hadn’t even noticed it from the reception side. He gestured toward it, and you sank onto it reluctantly, still holding his hand, still trying not to let the tension in your shoulders betray how much your heart was hammering.
The view hit you before you could even speak. The city stretched out below, lights flickering in colours that seemed impossible, reflected in the water of the river that cut through the middle. The night air was cool, but not cold, and the silence around you was so complete it pressed against your eardrums. Somewhere far below, a car horn sounded, faint, distant, reminding you that the world still existed beyond this quiet bubble.
Clark settled beside you, just close enough that your arms brushed. You didn’t move, didn’t need to. You both sat there for a long moment, simply watching the city, letting the weight of it all sink in. Finally, he broke the silence, voice quiet, careful, as though speaking too loud would shatter the calm.
“It’s beautiful,” he said.
You nodded, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him yet. “Yeah,” you whispered, letting your gaze drift to the city lights instead.
Another long pause, then he let out a soft chuckle, eyes crinkling at the corners. “You’re overthinking again,” he said.
“I’m not,” you muttered, though your lips twitched into a small, guilty smile.
He laughed again, soft and easy, and it was contagious. You felt the tension in your chest loosen just a little.
“You go first,” he said suddenly, nudging you gently with his shoulder, “say what’s on your mind.”
You took a deep breath, letting your fingers tighten around his. For a long moment you just stared down at your hands, gathering courage, before finally letting your voice spill out, soft, sincere, almost trembling.
“I… I just… I don’t even know where to start,” you said, blinking rapidly as you swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m so grateful for you. For everything. For just… being here, for all of it. Even when it’s ridiculous or hard or completely impossible, you somehow make it… easier. And I don’t know how to explain it without sounding insane, but I’m… I’m just really grateful.”
Clark’s hand squeezed yours, a quiet anchor. He didn’t interrupt, just let you talk, and that made it easier to keep going. “I-I don’t say it enough,” you continued, voice barely above a whisper now, “but I notice. All the little things. And I hate that I can’t tell you all the time without it being a mess, but… thank you, Clark.”
He shook his head slightly, brushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear with a fingertip. “It’s nothing,” he said softly, almost dismissively, but the warmth in his eyes told you he meant it differently. “You don’t have to overthink it. You don’t have to do anything but be you.”
There was a pause, heavy in the quiet night. Then his voice cut in again, tentative, careful. “So… what happens now?”
You blinked at him, startled by the sudden shift. “What do you mean?” you asked, voice tight, unsure.
He looked at you, really looked at you, and there was that faint tilt of his head that always made your chest clench. “I mean, uh, after tonight? After all of this? What happens to us?”
You swallowed hard, heart hammering in your ears. The city stretched out below, all lights and colour, but somehow it felt smaller, impossibly intimate, like it was just you two up here, suspended. “I… I don’t know,” you whispered, your hands tightening around his, “I guess… we just keep going. We just… exist, together or apart or somewhere in between. I don’t know how it works.”
Clark’s thumb brushed along the back of your hand, slow and steady. “That doesn’t feel like an answer,” he said, quiet, almost hurt in the gentlest way. “I mean… I know tonight isn’t real. I know it’s all a game, a show. But for me… I don’t want to just stop at tonight.”
He leaned a little closer, still holding your hand, and a suggestion slipped out before you could even stop him. “We could… just keep doing this. Just us. See where it goes.”
Your eyes widened slightly, caught off guard, and your fingers twitched in his. “Wait. What do you mean?” you asked, genuinely confused.
Clark’s expression shifted for a fraction of a second, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and then he shook his head, as if deciding better of it. “Oh, never mind,” he said lightly, brushing it off too quickly, though you caught the hesitation in his eyes.
You frowned at him, still holding onto his hand. “Never mind?” you echoed, tone sharper than intended, curiosity and frustration mingling. “You can’t just say that and leave it there.”
“I didn’t mean to,” he said softly, and there was a hint of amusement in his voice, but also uncertainty. “It sounded silly, maybe. I just… I don’t know how to explain it right now.”
“Well, try!” you snapped gently, exasperated, but not angry, just flustered, because you didn’t like the way his words had made your heart flip over. “I’m confused enough already, you don’t have to disappear halfway through the explanation.”
Clark blinked at you, that calm, unreadable look still plastered on his face, and for a moment you thought he might actually get flustered, which made your chest tighten even more. “I didn’t disappear,” he said finally, voice soft, careful, but there was a teasing edge there that made you grit your teeth. “I just tried to not make it more awkward than it already is.”
You huffed, glaring at him, though there was no real heat in it, just that mix of exasperation and something tighter, something that always crawled up your spine when he looked at you like that. “Awkward? Clark, you’re the one who throws ideas at me like we’re already a real thing when we’re standing on a hilltop pretending at a wedding. I’m the one who’s supposed to know how to react.”
He tilted his head, lips twitching, eyes scanning yours like he was trying to measure exactly how much of your frustration was real and how much was performative. “And what do you want me to do? Wait until you figure it out?” His voice was calm, but you could hear the faint edge of something impatient under it.
“I don’t know! Yes! I don’t know anything!” you shot back, hands tightening slightly in his. “You just say things like ‘oh, we could try’ and then vanish before I can even figure out if you mean it or if you’re just messing with me.”
He let out a quiet laugh, the kind that made your ears warm and your chest ache in all the wrong ways, and shook his head. “I’m not messing with you,” he said, almost insistently. “I mean it, I just… didn’t know how to put it into words without sounding like a fool.”
“Well, congratulations,” you muttered, rolling your eyes and trying not to let your voice shake, “you sound like a fool anyway.”
Clark’s smile softened, those familiar, gentle eyes locking on yours in a way that made your heart do the thing where it lurches and forgets rhythm. “Yeah, probably,” he admitted quietly, and then leaned just slightly closer, fingers brushing yours again, “but at least it’s honest.”
You blinked, letting out a shaky breath, and muttered, “I can’t believe we’re standing here, pretending I have a boyfriend, pretending I’m engaged. All this… this whole fake thing I made up, it’s ridiculous. I should just tell them the truth, wipe the slate clean and admit it’s all a lie.”
Clark’s fingers brushed lightly against yours again, calm and grounding. “It’s not a lie if it makes things easier for you,” he said softly. “And maybe… maybe it’s not just for them. Maybe it’s for us, in a way, even if it’s messy.”
You let out a laugh that was too choked to be pure, and then it turned into a few tears breaking through. You sniffled, trying to push them back, but the laughter and crying mixed and you could feel your shoulders shaking. Clark immediately froze. “Oh no I’m sorry,” he whispered, his hands cupping your face gently, thumbs brushing away the tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
You hiccupped a little laugh through the tears. “You’re ruining my make-up,” you said, half-teasing, half-smiling. Clark’s lips twitched into a grin. “Good,” he said softly. “Tears over make-up seem… fair.” You laughed again, a little louder this time, the tension of the day loosening in your chest.
For a long moment, you both just stopped, his hands still cradling your face, and you looked up at him, finding yourself smiling even through the remnants of tears. He smiled down at you, quiet and gentle, and for a second it was just the two of you.
“How come we never talk like this at work?” you asked softly, tilting your head. “I mean, really talk. Like we’re… I don’t know, human.”
Clark chuckled quietly. “I guess we never made the time,” he said, voice low. “Or maybe we were too focused on all the chaos and deadlines and pretending everything was normal.”
You shook your head, smirking through the lingering tears. “We should have hung out sooner. Like, seriously, months ago, maybe even last year.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, still holding your hands. “We should have. Maybe we’d have avoided some… complications.”
You laughed softly, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. “Complications? Oh, you mean like fake weddings and ruined make-up?”
Clark laughed, warm and quiet. “Exactly like that. But maybe it’s better this way. Because now… now we actually get to talk. And not just about work, not just about deadlines.”
You smiled, letting the warmth of the night settle around you, watching the city lights glitter below, thinking that maybe, just maybe, some things had a way of working out even if they took their sweet time. “Yeah,” you said, soft. “We should have met earlier.”
“Next time,” Clark said, leaning his forehead lightly against yours, “we won’t wait.”
Clark’s forehead stayed lightly against yours for a few seconds, warm and steady, and you could feel the faint rise and fall of his breath. When he pulled back just enough to look at you, the city lights framed his face like it was its own little stage, his eyes soft, almost glimmering, like he was about to admit something daring but didn’t need words. “You know,” he said, quiet, hesitant, like he was testing the waters, “I like your eyes.”
You blinked, caught off guard, trying to process if he was serious or just teasing. “What? You want to write a poem about it?”
He shrugged, a little awkward, muttering under his breath, “Maybe I did…”
You frowned, squinting at him. “Wait, what?”
“Nothing,” he said quickly, but the corner of his mouth twitched in that infuriating way that told you he was definitely hiding a grin. “Stop teasing me.”
You shook your head, a mix of disbelief and amusement twisting your lips into a crooked smile. “I’m not teasing you. Just saying, I don’t know what you’re on about.”
Clark’s hands stayed on your face, warm and steady, thumb brushing lightly across your cheek. He nodded, soft and patient, his smile unwavering, and it made your chest tighten in a way that was dangerous and familiar all at once.
You let out a little laugh, the sound soft, like you were trying to ground yourself. “Tonight has been… insane. Fake everything. Fake engagement, fake family impressions, fake dancing…”
Your words barely left your mouth before a voice cut sharply from behind, heavy with disbelief.
“Fake?”
You and Clark immediately turned, your heads snapping toward the sound, and your stomach flipped like someone had punched it. Your eyes locked on the figure standing just a few metres away, and your breath hitched.
Jake.
Your ex.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
“Well, well, well,” Jake said, smirking as he took a step forward, hands shoved casually into his pockets. “Look at this. Didn’t think I’d actually see you playing house. And with him, of all people.”
His eyes flicked to Clark, lingering far too long, sharp and mocking, and then back to you. “Thought you were smarter than this.”
You froze, gripping Clark’s hands a little tighter, trying to ignore the heat rising in your chest, the way your stomach twisted. He leaned against the doorway, that grin still plastered on like he’d rehearsed this, like he lived for this kind of discomfort.
“You always did have a flair for the dramatic,” Jake continued, voice low but cutting, “making everyone think your life was perfect when really…well, we all know how that ends, don’t we?” He laughed, short and cruel, and it made your teeth clench.
“Fuck off, Jake,” you spat, voice sharp and low, but trembling anyway because, of course, he always knew exactly how to get under your skin. Your hands tightened around Clark’s without even thinking, knuckles going white, but he didn’t say a word, just stayed there, letting you handle this.
Jake’s grin widened, sharp and smug, like he was feeding on your reaction. “Oh, don’t be like that,” he said, voice mocking, slow, dragging the words out. “You always get so serious. It’s hilarious. Look at you, all fire and fury, still pretending you’ve got it together.” He leaned slightly closer, too close, smirk still in place, eyes glinting like he was daring you to do more than yell.
“You’ve really done well for yourself, haven’t you?” he continued, like he hadn’t just crossed every line. “New boyfriend, fancy clothes, smiling like nothing ever went wrong. It must be exhausting keeping up the act, no?”
Your jaw tightened and your teeth ground together. “You’re a complete asshole, you know that?” you snapped, voice rising now despite yourself, heat crawling up your neck. “Honestly, how do you live with yourself?”
Jake chuckled, low and cruel, eyes flicking to Clark like he was testing boundaries. “Living? Nah, I manage just fine. But you, sweetheart, you’re still as predictable as ever. All fire and fury, exactly how I remember.”
You took a step toward him, chest heaving, ready to launch into a tirade, but Clark’s hand on yours was firm, grounding, stopping you from lunging. His silence was infuriating in its own way, but somehow it made you feel a little safer, like a line was being held even as Jake tried to push everything over it.
Jake’s smirk didn’t waver. “Oh, don’t glare at me like that,” he said, leaning back slightly but still far too smug for anyone’s comfort. “It suits you, makes this little performance of yours even more entertaining.”
Clark finally stepped forward, one hand half-raised, calm but firm. “Jake, I think you should just leave us alone,” he said, voice polite, but carrying a weight that made you hope it would stick.
Jake tilted his head, the smirk never leaving his face, like he was genuinely amused. “Leave?” he echoed, voice slow, teasing. “Why would I leave when I basically own this place? I mean, come on, this is entertaining.”
You couldn’t help yourself. “You’re an absolute nightmare,” you snapped, voice sharp and low, trying not to let anyone else hear the edge. “Just go, now.”
He laughed, short and cruel, before his eyes flicked between you and Clark. “Yeah, I will, eventually,” he said, smiling at you first like you were part of the joke, and then at Clark, sharp and calculating. “But first, let’s set the record straight. I’m the boyfriend, right? Six years.”
You cut him off immediately, voice rising, disbelief cracking through it. “Ex, Jake. I said ex.”
He shrugged, still grinning, like it didn’t matter at all. “Ex, sure, whatever you want to call it. Doesn’t change the fact that I knew, you know, everything you’ve been doing. All these little acts, all this performance. Must be hilarious to see you squirm while everyone believes it. Imagine if your family found out. Imagine the embarrassment, and the sheer horror of it all.”
Clark’s hand tightened on yours slightly, and he spoke, calm but firm, voice low. “It’s not fake. None of this, me, us, it isn’t–”
Jake cut him off with a sharp laugh, leaning just slightly closer, eyes glinting. “No need to deny anything. I can see it all perfectly well. The handholding, the looks, the smile you try to hide. Don’t bother. It’s all screaming ‘performance’. Don’t tell me otherwise.”
Jake’s smirk didn’t falter, almost like he was savoring the moment. “And imagine what would happen if your family actually found out,” he said, voice low, deliberate. “The truth. That everything you’ve been showing them, all those smiles, the ‘perfect’ life, it’s all been made up. Just think about the fallout. The shock. The shame.”
You couldn’t stop it anymore. “You don’t get to do that!” you shouted, voice raw, catching on the edge of tears, and before you could even think, they were sliding down your cheeks, burning and warm.
“You have no idea what you’ve done! How much you’ve messed with everything; my life, this night, everything, and you just stand there smiling like it’s funny!”
Jake’s grin didn’t falter, that infuriating, smug smile, like he was tasting victory.
“You think this is a joke?” you yelled, finger shaking, pointing straight at him, trying to puncture the smugness, trying to make him feel a fraction of what you were feeling. “You think it’s funny to ruin everything for me, for everyone, just to make yourself feel clever?”
He leaned forward, closer, eyes glinting, like he wanted to push whatever line you had left.
Clark didn’t even hesitate. His hands were on your shoulders before you knew it, pressing you slightly behind him like a shield, his height and presence immediately asserting itself over the small, smug figure in front of him.
His eyes didn’t leave Jake’s for a second, and when he spoke, his voice was low, calm, but it carried a weight that made it impossible to ignore. “Enough,” he said, and it wasn’t a request.
“You have no right to come in here and try to tear her apart, not tonight, not ever. She doesn’t need your approval, your judgement, or your interference. You step away, or I will make sure you regret it.”
Jake’s grin faltered, just slightly, the sharp amusement in his eyes dimming under Clark’s quiet intensity. Clark’s fingers tightened slightly on your shoulders, just enough that you felt grounded and safe, and he didn’t let go.
“Do you understand me?” he asked, voice steady but hard, and the cold edge was unmistakable now.
You pressed closer to him, chest still racing, as Jake opened his mouth, but Clark didn’t give him the chance. “Go on,” Clark said, more softly now, not breaking eye contact, “get out. Leave, because she’s not yours, she’s never been yours, and you’re not going to ruin her night or her life.”
Jake let out a sharp huff, the sound more like a sneer than actual exasperation, and his eyes flicked to Clark with a mocking tilt. “Oh, I see,” he said, low and venomous, “this is your little hero routine, isn’t it? Protecting her like some knight in shining armour.”
Your stomach twisted as his gaze shifted back to you, and then he leaned in slightly, voice dropping so only you could hear. “Enjoy tonight,” he said, “because next time, everyone’s going to know. Every little thing, all of it. They’re going to see exactly what you’ve been hiding.”
Your eyes went wide, your pulse spiking, and you could feel your hands clench involuntarily. Clark’s fingers stayed firm on your shoulders, grounding you, and you could feel the tension radiating off him as he held his stare on Jake, unblinking.
Jake straightened back up, smirk curling again, and with one last glance that promised chaos in the future, he turned and walked away, leaving a cold emptiness in his wake, the echo of his threat lingering between you and Clark.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
After everything, after Jake had stormed off and the echoes of his voice were still crawling in your head, you ended up in the hotel room they’d set aside for the wedding chaos, your dress wrinkled and soaked with your own tears, your chest heaving like it might split open.
Clark didn’t even hesitate, he just came close and wrapped his arms around you and you collapsed into him, face pressed to his chest, shoulders shaking, and he didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch at the wet, didn’t even say a word, he just let you cry, let the sobs spill out like they had been piling up for years and years and finally had somewhere safe to go.
You thought about Jake while you cried, about every year he’d spent making your life a calculation, a trap, how he had smoothed himself into every corner of your world like he belonged there and somehow you’d let him, and the way he had whispered that smug little warning tonight, the way he’d claimed he knew, how he had smiled when you got angry and scared, like it was a game he’d already won.
And it wasn’t just tonight, it was everything he’d taken from you, every little piece of confidence, every friend he’d pushed away, every time you second-guessed yourself because of him, and it all hit at once and you let yourself fall apart into Clark’s chest because he was real, and right, and steady, and you could breathe, barely, but you could.
He rubbed your back slowly and patiently, thumb brushing your shoulder like he knew where the knots were without asking, and you whispered, almost strangled, “He ruined everything…”
“Not tonight,” Clark said, low and soft, voice shaking slightly like he was holding it together for both of you, and it was like a lifeline, because suddenly your brain could stop spinning, your chest could stop splintering, because right here, right now, you were safe, and he was keeping it that way.
You let the tears keep coming anyway, because there was still so much to get out, so much poison to wash off, and Clark just stayed there, holding you, steadying you, letting you fall apart and somehow making it okay, somehow making it feel like maybe, for the first time in forever, you could actually breathe without looking over your shoulder.
You then hiccuped into his chest, shaking like you were made of glass, and for a second it felt like the panic might swallow you whole, the tightness in your lungs clawing its way up and you couldn’t even think straight, couldn’t even make the words come out right.
Clark’s arms didn’t tighten more as he just held you, and somehow that made it just a little less sharp, the edges of your panic softening enough that you could breathe.
“Why are you so afraid to tell them the truth?” he asked gently, fingers brushing through your hair like it was the simplest, most natural thing in the world to care about you, like he didn’t even know how much it should be shocking, like it was just…obvious.
You pulled back slightly, just enough to meet his eyes, and it was all panic, all shame and adrenaline, all the weight of your life pressing down on you at once. “Because… because I feel like I’m… I’m always the last one,” you started, voice trembling, “the last one to graduate, the last one to do anything right, like I’m just… I don’t know… a footnote in everyone else’s story. Like I have to prove that I even matter at all, and if I just—if I just live my life, they’ll forget I’m here.”
You choked on the last words, eyes stinging, chest tight, and you didn’t even try to make it sound neat, didn’t even try to hide the spiral of shame and fear and exhaustion.
Clark’s hands stayed over yours, warm and steady, and he didn’t try to talk over you, didn’t try to smooth it out or say some perfect line that would erase it. Instead, his voice was low and patient, careful, like he was leaning into the edges of your panic without trying to sweep them away.
“I get it,” he said softly, eyes locked on yours. “I get how it feels to be last, to feel like you have to scream to be noticed, to prove you exist in the spaces everyone else fills. And I don’t… I don’t want to tell you it’s not true, because I know it feels real, but I need you to hear this. You’re not invisible. You’re not a footnote. You matter, even when it feels like the world is forgetting.”
Clark’s thumb brushed along your cheek, carefully, and then he pulled a clean handkerchief from his suit pocket and dabbed gently at the streaks of tears. “See,” he said after a moment, voice soft but teasing, “now you’re just a little bit glamorous. Weddings bring out the inner celebrity, apparently. You’ve got the dramatic tears down perfectly.”
You blinked at him, caught between wanting to scowl and laughing, and then the corners of your mouth cracked as a snort escaped. “You’re ridiculous,” you said, the tension in your chest loosening just a fraction, your laugh shaky but genuine.
Clark’s grin widened, soft and warm, eyes twinkling as he tucked the handkerchief back into his pocket. “I know,” he said lightly, nudging your shoulder gently with his. “I’ve been practicing. Someone’s got to keep you laughing when the world decides to suck, right?”
You shook your head, still smiling despite yourself, and for the first time in what felt like hours, the panic seemed to retreat just a little, leaving you with that weird mixture of relief and warmth that only he could manage.
You wiped at the last remnants of tears, sniffling, and Clark just let you do it, thumb brushing lightly across your cheek now and then, tracing gentle circles like he was memorising you.
“You know,” he said, voice quiet but teasing, “it’s weird, isn’t it? That we’ve been at the same office for three years, and I basically only know you from emails, meetings, and the weather report.”
You blinked at him, smirking through the lingering dampness on your cheeks. “Yeah, hilarious. Three years of water-cooler nods and barely a sentence beyond deadlines and project updates, and now we’re… here. This.” You gestured vaguely at the room, at yourselves, the messy, loud, complicated aftermath of the wedding.
Clark chuckled, eyes softening as he leaned in just slightly, holding your face gently between his hands, fingers against your jawline. “I know. And to think our first real conversation, not as colleagues obviously, started with me awkwardly holding your hand in a fake engagement at your sister’s wedding. Three years in the making, and somehow… that’s how I got to know you.”
You laughed, small and incredulous, shaking your head. “It’s absurd. Absolutely absurd.”
He smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Yeah, and also kind of perfect, in a weird way. We basically spent three years in parallel universes at work, and then one day, we get a whole lifetime crammed into a single afternoon.”
The smirk lingered on his face, but his eyes softened, and you could feel the shift, subtle but undeniable, like the air between you had changed temperature. He held your gaze, patient, watching, and it wasn’t teasing anymore.
“You know,” he began, almost hesitant, “I’ve noticed things about you. Little things, the way you frown when you’re concentrating, the way you laugh when you’re trying not to, the way your eyes…they sort of do this thing when you’re trying not to feel something, and I’ve been noticing for years without saying anything, just…keeping it to myself.”
You blinked, heart thudding, because he was looking at you like he’d seen right through all of it, all the masks and the facades, and somehow it felt terrifying and safe at the same time.
“I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make it weird, or mess things up, or… I don’t know. But after today, I think it’s ridiculous to wait. You’re, uh, er, you’re impossible to ignore. And I mean that in the best way, ha.”
Your breath caught, chest tightening, and you opened your mouth to say something, anything, but the words refused to come. The room seemed to shrink around you, all background noise and chaos fading until it was just the two of you, and you could feel the weight of everything unspoken pressing against your ribs.
He shifted slightly closer, hands still holding your face, thumb brushing lightly against your cheek, and you caught yourself leaning in, just slightly, drawn in by the intensity in his gaze. “I don’t expect anything,” he added quickly, as if reading your mind. “I just… wanted you to know what I’ve been thinking, what I’ve been feeling, because it’s been there a long time, and I can’t not say it anymore.”
You swallowed hard, pulse racing, and for a moment all you could do was stare at him, trying to process, trying to find words that didn’t exist, feeling like the entire universe had contracted to this one, impossible, heart-stopping truth.
You blinked again, trying to make sense of it, your chest tightening so much it felt like you couldn’t breathe, and then he laughed softly.
“I know,” he said, smirking lightly now, “this is probably a lot. And you’re probably thinking, wow, three years of barely talking about anything besides deadlines and the weather, and now he’s telling me he’s been watching me the whole time. Ridiculous, right?”
You let out a strangled laugh, more from shock than anything else, and your hands instinctively found his, gripping tightly like an anchor. “Ridiculous doesn’t even cover it,” you muttered, voice trembling, but a little laugh escaped anyway, shaky but real.
He tilted his head, that familiar mix of amusement and gentleness in his expression. “Yeah, but also… true. I mean it. You’re remarkable, even when you don’t realise it. And not in some generic, office-comment kind of way. I mean you, exactly as you are, with everything you try to hide or shove down or pretend isn’t there. That’s the part I can’t ignore.”
Your stomach twisted, heat creeping up your neck, and for a moment all the panic and the guilt from earlier faded just a little, replaced by this dizzying, nerve-shredding awareness that he’d been noticing, paying attention, and now he wasn’t looking away.
You swallowed, voice barely audible. “Clark…”
He shook his head gently, thumb brushing against your cheek. “Don’t say anything yet. Just… let me finish,” he murmured. “I wanted you to know because you deserve to hear it. And because I… I’ve been stupid keeping it to myself.”
You blinked, heart hammering so fast it was almost painful, trying to find words but your throat had gone completely dry. “Clark…” you breathed, voice trembling, barely a whisper.
He gave a tiny, almost shy smile, still holding your face gently. “I know,” he said softly. “I just needed you to hear it. No expectations, no pressure, just… me being honest.”
You swallowed hard, your pulse spiking, and somehow the words tumbled out anyway. “It’s… it’s a lot,” you admitted, voice catching. “After today, after everything… I don’t know what to do with it.”
“Then don’t do anything,” he murmured, leaning just a fraction closer. “Just… let it sit. Let it feel like it should feel. Nothing else matters right now.”
Your chest tightened as your eyes met, and then his gaze drifted lower for a heartbeat, to your lips, before flicking back up to your eyes. You could feel it too, the pull, the tension stretching between you so thin it hurt, that dangerous, delicious kind of tightness.
You licked your lips without thinking, suddenly aware of how close he was, aware of the heat of him, the warmth in his hands, the way he smelled like everything safe and wrong at the same time. “Clark…” you whispered again, breath shaky.
He didn’t answer, just leaned a little closer, and your lips almost touched, that teasing, electric moment where everything else dropped away, and then, finally, you couldn’t hold back. You closed the gap, pressing into him, hands clutching at his jacket as his lips met yours, soft and tentative at first, testing, tasting, and then urgent, all the frustration, the panic, the years of unspoken thoughts spilling into that desperate, messy, perfect kiss.
You wrapped your arms around him instinctively, heart racing, chest pressed against his, and he deepened the kiss, hands sliding from your face down to your waist, holding you close, grounding you, and still the world outside ceased to exist, nothing but the heat, the movement, and the impossible feeling of finally, finally being noticed completely.
Your hands traced the lines of his back, memorising the feel of him through his suit, fingers threading through the fabric, tugging him just slightly closer, trying to absorb him like he could somehow fill all the empty spaces you’d been carrying. He moved with you, matching your grip, one hand cupping your face while the other stayed firm on your waist, and the friction of his palms against your body sent sparks of heat crawling along your skin.
Every small shift of him was enough to make your knees weak, every brush of his thumb across your cheek or along your jaw leaving you dizzy, your chest tight and fluttering all at once. Your lips moved against his, following the rhythm he set, slow and questioning at first, then more insistent, more certain, like he was finally allowing himself to take what he’d been feeling silently for so long.
Even the way he held you; the tilt of his head, the small press of his body into yours made you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered.
Your fingers wandered slightly to the lapel of his jacket, gripping the fabric, while his hands traced small, careful patterns over your sides, over your lower back, keeping you tethered even as everything else in the room fell away, leaving only the heat of him, the soft press of lips, and the impossible, intoxicating certainty that for once, you were being seen fully, completely, undeniably.
The kiss pulled back just slightly, just enough for you to breathe, foreheads pressed together, breaths mingling, hearts hammering in sync, and your hands lingered on his chest, palms splayed, memorising the feel of him, while his thumb brushed gently over your knuckle as if to say, silently, I’ve got you.
You pressed against him, hands tangling in his hair, gripping like you might never let go, heart hammering so loud you were sure he could hear it, and he moaned softly into your mouth, sliding his hands lower, fingers tracing the curve of your back, down to the edge of your dress, making your breath hitch in a way that felt like it had been waiting for this forever.
Your lips moved desperately against his, each kiss sharp and needy, and the warmth of him pressed into you made your knees weak, made the air around you feel thick, almost impossible to breathe, and yet you didn’t want to pull away.
His hands didn’t stop, roaming carefully but with intent, teasing the sides of you through fabric, tracing shapes that made your chest ache and your stomach twist.
Every brush of his fingers made your body tighten, made you shiver against him, and when you dared to move your hands down his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt, it was like discovering a part of yourself you’d been holding back without even knowing it.
“Gosh,” he murmured against your lips, voice low, rough, and it made your pulse spike, “you’re insane.”
“Maybe,” you gasped, your words barely coherent, “but I need you, Clark.”
He groaned, a sound that went straight through your bones, and shifted slightly so your body pressed fully against his, his lips ghosting down your jaw, your neck, every touch leaving a spark that you couldn’t contain. Your hands roamed with reckless abandon, clutching him, marking him like he was yours in that moment.
And then his voice, low and rough, broke through the haze. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” It wasn’t a demand, it wasn’t a test, it was just Clark, steady even with his mouth still brushing your skin, his breath hot and his body trembling against yours, but waiting.
You shook your head too fast, desperate, your words spilling out almost in a rush. “Don’t stop, please, Clark, I don’t want you to stop.”
That was all he needed. His hands slid lower, palms spanning the back of your thighs, and with a firm, careful grip he lifted you, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively, the fabric of your dress riding higher as he pressed you gently against the wall.
You gasped, fingers tugging at his hair, and he kissed you hard, swallowing every sound you made, one hand cupping your jaw to steady you while the other held you secure like you weighed nothing.
The heat of him pressed between your legs through layers of fabric, enough to make you whine into his mouth, and he groaned in response, moving his hips just slightly, a tease, a warning, and it sent fire shooting straight through you.
“You feel unreal,” he muttered, his forehead dropping to yours, his voice breaking, like he was losing control but still clinging to it for you.
Your nails scraped down his shoulders, tugging at his shirt, and you managed a broken laugh, shaky and overwhelmed. “You’re overdressed,” you whispered, and he chuckled, soft and breathless, but he didn’t waste time, tugging at his jacket, his tie, letting them fall somewhere you didn’t care about because his mouth was on you again, kissing you like he needed you to breathe.
And then his hand slid between your thighs, gentle first, just a palm pressed over you through the fabric, a test, a question. He pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes dark, pupils blown wide, and whispered, “Can I?”
“Yes,” you gasped, already trembling, already arching toward him. “Yes, Clark, please.”
He groaned again, softer this time, as though he was breaking apart, and pushed the hem of your dress higher, fingers brushing your bare skin, trailing up slowly, deliberately, until his hand found you, and the sound you made was muffled only because his mouth was on yours again.
The world narrowed to that as his hands, his lips, the way he murmured your name like it was holy, like it was everything, grounding you even as your body burned and your mind screamed that this was too much, too fast and real, and yet you wanted more, more, more.
His hands were everywhere now, sliding up and down your sides, brushing over skin that burned under his touch, and you pressed into him harder, your lips parting as you gasped against his mouth. He pulled back just slightly, just enough to look down at you, and his voice was low, rough with need. “I-I don’t have protection.”
You froze for a second, chest heaving, and then a laugh tumbled out of you, breathless and shaky. “I don’t care,” you whispered, eyes dark and wild. “I’ll take the risk.”
Clark’s lips twitched, almost a grin, but his eyes stayed soft, searching yours, and he murmured, “Then I’ll take it too.” His hands tightened on your waist, and the way he looked at you made the world outside the hotel room disappear completely.
You leaned up, pressing your forehead to his, panting, and kissed him again, slower this time, tasting him, memorizing him, letting the heat between you stretch and thrum like a live wire. His hands moved carefully, but firm, keeping you grounded, holding you like you might float away otherwise.
You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging him down to your mouth, and he groaned into the kiss, tilting his head so he could press his body fully against yours. Every movement, every brush of his skin over yours, was deliberate, making you shiver and whine softly into him, needing, needing him like it was urgent and necessary.
He pressed his forehead against yours again, voice ragged, whispering, “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” you breathed, chest heaving, lips swollen, eyes wild with lust and something that felt dangerously like trust. “Clark, I’m sure. Fuck, don’t stop.”
He groaned softly, letting his hands travel lower, over your thighs, over every curve, gripping you tight, and you responded, wrapping your legs around him instinctively. His lips found your neck, teeth grazing, sucking just enough to make your knees weaken, and you gripped his shoulders, fingers digging in as if holding him tighter would make it better, make it last longer, make it real.
“You’re insane,” he murmured against your skin, voice thick, shaking with the same fire you felt, and you laughed breathlessly, hitting his chest, “I know, and I don’t care.”
He smiled against you, teeth brushing your jaw, eyes dark and focused. “Good, because neither do I.”
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
After everything, after the fire of it, after the chaos of skin and breath and whispered names, you finally settled. You laid your head against his bare chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear, each pulse a reminder that he was real, that he was here, and that somehow, after all the ridiculousness of the day, you were finally allowed this moment.
His arm circled you, pulling you closer until you could feel every curve of his body, every line, every warmth, and it was blissful in a way that made you think maybe the world outside could wait for a while.
You lifted your gaze to look at him, hair splayed over his shoulder, cheeks flushed, and he smiled down at you, soft, gentle, eyes crinkling the way they always did when he found something worth seeing. “You’re ridiculously cute like this,” he murmured, voice low and husky, and you laughed softly, just a whisper against his skin.
“You know,” you said, fingers tracing idly along the ridges of his chest, still feeling the heat from him and from the memory of everything you’d just done, “I think I could get used to this. Just lying here, doing nothing except…this.”
He chuckled, soft and warm, and pressed his lips to the top of your head. “I could too,” he admitted, thumb brushing over your hair, “I could get used to hearing your heartbeat against me, your soft little laughs, the way you look at me like you’re trying to memorize me.”
Your chest tightened, breath catching, and you murmured, “I’ve never felt… I don’t know… like I belong somewhere. But with you, it feels…like maybe I do.”
He tilted his head, eyes scanning your face, catching every tiny expression, every flicker of emotion, and whispered, “You belong with me. Always.”
You could feel the weight of it, the sincerity, the quiet kind of gravity in his words, and you let yourself relax further, pressing closer. “You’re insane,” you said softly, laughter still trembling in your voice, “and maybe a little ridiculous, but I like it. I like you, Clark Kent.”
He grinned, brushing his nose against yours, playful now but tender, “And I like you too, endlessly, like this is how it should have always been, if only the universe had let us.”
Silence fell then, but it wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t tense. It was soft and warm, filled with the sound of your breaths mingling, the occasional chuckle, and the quiet thrum of Clark’s heartbeat beneath your ear.
You traced lazy circles on his chest, and he murmured little things back, confessions about silly things he loved about you, the way your hair curled when it fell into your eyes, how your laugh got stuck halfway through your throat sometimes, how your hands always seemed to find his even when you didn’t mean them to.
And for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, you let yourself breathe fully, just be there, tangled in him, the night quiet around you except for the soft rustle of sheets and the warmth that had nothing to do with the room and everything to do with him.
“You know,” Clark said finally, voice soft, teasing, “if we’d actually talked like this at work for the past three years, we’d be way ahead of everyone else. We’d be unstoppable.”
You laughed, resting your cheek against him, “Yeah, it’s kind of hilarious, isn’t it? Three years of deadlines and weather small talk, and one day later, we’re here, all finally caught up at once.”
He kissed your temple lightly, hands still around you, and whispered, “Better late than never. Besides, I like how it all happened. The timing is, I don’t know, perfect?”
“Yeah,” you smiled into him, letting your fingers weave into his hair, and whispered, “Perfect in a completely ridiculous way.”
Clark laughed softly, and you both stayed there, tangled, warm, quiet, letting the aftershocks of the night settle around you, knowing that outside, the world could wait, but here, together, was exactly where you belonged.
Everything else could wait. The truth, the explanations, the staring at faces that might not understand, all of it could wait. None of it mattered right now, not with his arms around you, not with your head pressed against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall like it was holding you together when everything else felt like it might fall apart.
What couldn’t wait was this, the warmth and the softness and the way he looked at you like you were everything, the way you laughed even though your chest felt too full and your heart too fast.
Pretending until forever had been a joke, a lie, a trap you built to survive, and now it didn’t have to be anything but real. You let yourself lean in, let yourself breathe it all in, let yourself be messy and chaotic and entirely visible, and he held you like he’d been waiting for this exact moment too.
Everything else could wait, but this feeling, this reckless, quiet, insane kind of perfect, it couldn’t, and it wouldn’t, and you didn’t want it to.
It had been pretend until forever and somehow it was the only truth you needed.
Hey chums!
Are you looking for a queer romcom full of banter, hijinks and Big Feelings? Have you ever wondered what if weddings also had a Worst Man? Good news! We've been working really hard on a book just for you!
What happens when Radcliffe Raleigh, a professional relationship-ruiner coerced by an evil billionaire to sabotage her daughter's wedding, catches feelings for the Best Man? When he realises he's on the wrong side of the job, can he turn around all the chaos he's sown in time to salvage the wedding?
Vibe-wise, think Glass Onion meets White Lotus meets Leverage. Also, it's very funny.
Available to preorder at:
America: Amazon or Barnes and Noble
UK: Forbidden Planet




