Odds and Ends

RN trying to keep myself together sometimes.

[jettii-kenobi]

The time has come, finally!

Missed it last year and my entire pregnancy it's all I've wanted.

I was good and only got 2 of the 4 packs instead of taking a whole crate lmao

It is worth the hype 🤤🤤🤤

[jettii-kenobi]

27 weeks today.

I detest being pregnant lmao

And it will only get worse.

(How is there any room left for him to gooooo?????)

(Why can't he come out nowwww??? Lol)

People who have multiple children like have to have calm pregnancies and enjoy it to keep doing this lololol

The only part I'm enjoying is that he gets so active when I sing or play music 🥹

[jettii-kenobi]

Picked kiddo up from her aunt's as she stayed the night with her cousins and y'all.

Idk if its because there are 4 children at home for the summer, 3 chicks and 3 ducklings, 2 cats, 2 dogs (that stay put up), and a diaper wearing baby goat, but it was too much.

Our baby is gonna be watched by this aunt at around February-ish and I am so nervous.

Oldest kid slapped a tick that was crawling on him onto the couch, they found it at least.

I kinda don't feel comfy him being there 3 days a week. By that point it would only be him there during school hours, but what about once school lets out? And the house is upside down like it is now?

Daycare is outrageous, especially when they don't allow part time.

Josh is paying her, albeit at a nicely reduced rate but I'm worried.

By summer he'll be 6-10 months, and that's a big jump in development for feeding and pottying, etc.

I don't want my kid to be as feral as hers bless them.

If I can just find something that will allow me to work from home!

Or if my mom and his mom would be willing to take turns. My MIL would do so well I think, cuz it's just her and my FIL, and two little doxies. And mom and dad are retired (dad likes to work a little with his brother), she does a lot of sewing and such. Both of their houses are clean. -CLEAN-

[jettii-kenobi]

I haven't updated in a while 😅

I really appreciate the replies from the last post I just wasn't in the headspace to respond at that time and was just a lurker on here for the past few months ❤️

25 weeks today, and y'all were right. It was the hormones. I mean there's still hormones raging (mainly makes me more weepy and whiny) but not so much of the mental what have I done kind. I wonder if its because the physical stuff is at the forefront: insomnia, restless legs, the heartburn from hell, painful belly button??? Lol. Or it could be that he feels real now cuz I can Feel him move. Those little karate kicks are pretty neat (so far, Ha)

I did have a tiny meltdown at work because I used the doppler women's care uses when they're at clinic and I couldn't find or feel him (and my HR has been running over 110 lately) and my brain was being very mean cuz the night before I had accidently took a promethazine instead of meclizine so he was probably just more sleepy the next day. And the fact TW::::::::::::::::::::::::

my SIL lost her first at this timeframe and I was panicking.

And poor Josh was trying to be comforting about it when I got home but he is the type that worry and anxiety about something you can't control isn't how his brain works.

Our baby shower is this weekend and so far on my side I've only had 2 people RSVP and that was for not coming so that feels great (more stupid drama on my side because of course it's my side) cuz we're hosting and paying for everything like the food so who is coming????

But otherwise I'm doing better and already know we are one and done lmao no way we doing this again 🤣 2 kiddos to wrangle is enough for us ❤️

[jettii-kenobi]

Idk if it's the pregnancy hormones or what.

I fear I'm not gonna be a good mom.

If I can't even handle to temper of an 8 year old without losing mine or getting "an attitude" per Josh, then how would I be any better with a newborn? A toddler? Another 8 year old who stamps their feet and or kicks or cries at the drop of a hat cuz I said no????

Maybe this whole thing came late in life, the husband, the marriage, the bonus child, cuz it was known I wouldn't be able to handle all of it AND another human. Should been happy to have what I already received. But no, I just had to beg and cry for a child of my own.

I'm so sorry little guy, to bring you into this life with a mom like me.

[jettii-kenobi]

We find out the gender today! 💙🩷

Also all I want to eat is fresh veggies and fruits. Oranges, apples, berries. Gimme. Salads? Gimme. A plate full of cucumbers drowned in ranch and salt? GIMME.

[jettii-kenobi]

We're telling my parents about the baby tonight.

I'm so nervous because I genuinely do not know how they will react. It has been, -strained-, since the wedding (and honestly before) like we don't know how to move around each other if that makes sense?

When Josh asked for their blessing they repeatedly said that they don't expect or demand more grandchildren, that kiddo is welcomed and considered their grandchild, which yeah that's nice, but he was so confused about why they kept saying it. At the time I would've said they just never wanted to come across as those kind of parents that expects grandchildren, that life is hard enough in this day in age in affordability, etc.

But also I have heard them say years ago that the ending of the world is near so there isn't a point to bring children to life. So, ya know, there's that.

Where it's gonna be in public (meeting at a restaurant) I don't think they will be overly outspoken/outburst/negative because what will people think??? 😒

But I'm just really nervous they're gonna be angry. Gonna be Those parents you see sometimes in reaction videos.

[jettii-kenobi]

I will cry if this nausea continues past 12 weeks.

I'll be okay-ish in the morning, like long as I eat a little something I'm good. But by lunch? And the rest of the evening? Done. I can feel myself like fading as the work day goes, and it's like clockwork: 7pm and I am in survival mode. Don't touch me, don't look at me, don't breathe on me. Josh was the one who pointed it out. Like he knows to just pat my head and leave me alone by then before I did lol.

We had our first OB appointment and it feels kinda more real. Gummy bear popped up immediately and was dancing around. Like I know they're there. I see them on the screen. But I'll look at my belly in the mirror and there's obviously nothing there, so I feel like it won't be 100% real until the belly shows or until I feel them kick.

But HR was good, 166, and definitely One baby in there 😅

[jettii-kenobi]

Oh, and Josh got sick yesterday afternoon-evening. He wouldn't let me take his temp 🙄 but he was Burning through and through. Had to give him a Zofran cuz he felt so nauseous but it took forever to kick in so he was miserable till he passed out. He wasn't gonna call in today but around 0500 I felt him Still hot, tried to get him to take motrin 🙄 and when he was still in bed by 0600 I realized he texted his boss. Good.

He has been miserable ever since, and he eventually took the motrin but he still has the awful body aches. He's slept most of the day (which is Not him, the man rarely naps) and I've tried to keep him hydrated. But he got a little snappy with me when I was trying to get him to take medicine for the fever early this morning. Sue me for trying to take care of you, my love lol. I just cry when ya make me do things for my health lolol

He is sick so rarely when he does it nearly takes him out. He is a horrible patient because of this 🤣

He's already called in for tomorrow and so have I cuz the clinic is getting Slammed and they need someone who can run around and just the thought of standing for too long makes me wanna hurl, so.

And poor Kiddo is with us this week and I picked her up from school (that was Not a fun drive back and forth 🤢) and basically gave her the 411. Bless her, she's done all her chores, homework, and is chilling in her room now. Was able to make her some soup and she is the sweetest thing, she wants to cuddle but she took one look at me (in the car), and Josh laid out on the couch in a cocoon when we got home, she immediately went to her room like I asked so I could make sure everything was sanitized.

Flu A, 0/10 do not recommend.

[jettii-kenobi]

So far lil bean likes white cheddar cheese crackers, applesauce, and fruit popsicles. So many fruit popsicles.

It could also be because I have Flu A the past couple days.

But I'm living off the outshine fruit popsicles. I need more. I need them in bulk. I want it as a drink to constantly sip on.

[jettii-kenobi]

Soooo

[jettii-kenobi]

I absolutely hate helping kiddo with homework. I think its dumb for one thing for a second grader, and 2, it feels like just busy work, or we just try and get it done for the sake of it being done.

Like Josh will just tell her what to out down cuz he just wants it done and in my thinking it doesn't make sense to do it for them if it won't help them learn?? Like of she misspelled something then that is part of the learning. Or if she gets a question wrong then, okay, its wrong.

I dunno. I get so frustrated cuz she won't just sit there and get it done so its over with and then we can all relax, it would be faster if I could just write the damn answers down but I know I can't and the learned helplessness she is getting in not even trying??? to even read the question??? or attempt it???

[jettii-kenobi]

In KY, deer outnumber people like 6 to 1, easy.

In 33 almost 34 years, I had a few close calls, seen so many by the road.

Driving the kiddo to school, well, the odds were against me finally.

Shannan: 0 Buck: 1

We were still in city limits too!

[jettii-kenobi]

Still blowing glass out of my nose lmao

[jettii-kenobi]

In KY, deer outnumber people like 6 to 1, easy.

In 33 almost 34 years, I had a few close calls, seen so many by the road.

Driving the kiddo to school, well, the odds were against me finally.

Shannan: 0 Buck: 1

We were still in city limits too!

[jettii-kenobi]

I'M FREAKING MARRIED Y'ALL

[jettii-kenobi]

Why yes, yes I Would get the flu a week before the wedding! 😷🤒🤕🤣

[jettii-kenobi]

Finally bit the bullet and starting Adderall. Tried using other meds for adhd and it just wasn't working like it should. It's only taken me what, 3 years to finally do this? Picking it up later today 🤞🏻🤞🏻