JaneFosterThorIsMyMuse

Diagnosed with Stage IIIB Breast Cancer at age 45 in July 2018. This is my journey.

[my2browneyes]

Humble Book Bundle: Knitting and Mochimochi by Open Road Media

Craft cozy creations with this bundle of books in knitting! Stitch together cute animal friends & beautiful accessories & help support Breas

Humble Bundle has a knitting book bundle that benefits the Breast Cancer Resource Foundation (BCRF)

[tkingfisher]

Warning: Long post about something very near my heart.

About three inches from it, give or take.

Tumblr, meet Cancer-Bob. (Bob, this is Tumblr. They’re lovely, but they’re gonna hate you.)

I got diagnosed with Bob about six weeks ago. (It’s fine, I’m not gonna die, I’m just gonna have a really shitty few months.) As is the way of my people, I started doing a comic about it. Except it’s not really a comic, because there’s only one picture in it, but it’s more a comic than it is anything else. A comic made entirely of words, I guess?

It’s mostly me screwing around with Typorama and word balloons and the alcohol ink tools in Procreate. I knew that if I had to draw hamsters or wombats, I’d never keep up. My energy levels are, uh, variable. But it’ll tell you the saga, or at least some of it, and I got really into making it, and I commit some spectacular atrocities with fonts.

(It’s ok to laugh, by the way. Some of it’s hilarious.)

(Also I’m very sorry, I can’t do alt text for all these. If someone wants to type them out, I will embrace you as a savior, but it’s just…a lot.)

This is only part one of rather a lot, but Tumblr has a 10 image limit from the app. I’ll put up more tomorrow. And I only just started chemo in real life, so there’ll be more. And then, if fate is kind, someday there won’t have to be.

I love you all, you know that?

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

[theavengers]

New still of Natalie Portman as The Mighty Thor in Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

[marv-el-spot]

First look at Natalie Portman in Marvel Studios’ Thor: Love and Thunder.

[jfthorismymuse]

Mighty Thor in Thor: Love & Thunder

[fer1972]

Medusa head made of jade by L’aquart

[jfthorismymuse]

Thor #1 (2014)

Jason Aaron - Writer

Russell Dauterman - Artist

Matthew Wilson - Color Artist

VCs Joe Sabino - Letterer & Production

[jfthorismymuse]

December 30, 2020

Goodbye, 2020! And goodbye to the current format of this blog. I'm not sure what it will become, but it will be different. I may even change the name. Not sure yet. I'm not going to stress over it.

My cancer journey, though not completely over, is now about making sure it doesn't come back. That means pills. That means scans and check-ups. My hair is back. My health is good. *knock on wood* 2020 is almost done. It's time for a new chapter.

How growing my hair started:

What a journey it's been.

Thank you for your support.

[jfthorismymuse]

December 16, 2020

I am ready for the year to be over. It's hard to be motivated to work this week, especially since Friday is my last work day until 2021.

I bought a ticket to see Wonder Woman 1984 at the theater. I figured a Monday morning showing would have fewer people. When I bought it, there was only 1 other group that bought tickets. Hopefully it will stay fairly empty. The app let me buy concessions now to pick up when I get there. Pretty cool.

Hair is straight because I got it colored and cut today. My hairdresser is concerned she will have to shut down in early January again because of covid. Hopefully folks will learn from the after Thanksgiving surge, but somehow I doubt it. Here's hoping.

[jfthorismymuse]

December 9, 2020

Tip when checking net style outside Christmas lights - Use masking tape to mark which lights you've checked to prevent yourself from going insane. Also, get one of those Christmas lights checking tools. They are awesome.

This week (last week? What is time?) I discovered I am the Jane Austen character with the deaf parent that has to repeat everything in a loud voice. This wasn't from some cute quiz. This was me realizing it as I was REAPEATING SOMETHING IN A LOUD VOICE to my father.

Oh, right, I had a birthday. I don't recommend it. Though it is better than the alternative I suppose.

[jfthorismymuse]

December 2, 2020

Although it isn't visible, there is a clip in my hair. I haven't worn a clip in ages. Headbands yes. Hair clips no. It felt good.

Today I put up the tree I normally take to the office.

It feels fitting, and I need a bit of holiday merriment. I kind of want to buy some little lights for it. The other stuff I put up in my cube is still at the office. I'm glad I keep this one at home.

[jfthorismymuse]

November 25, 2020

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It's going to be very different this year. Despite the warnings, it seems a lot of people are traveling. But I, like so many, will be celebrating only with the members of my household.

What a year.

[jfthorismymuse]

Comic Thoughts: Power in ‘The Mighty Thor’ vols. 1, 2, & 3

Some background:

About a month after the pandemic started, I reached out to a coworker/friend who is into comics, too. I asked for a DC story/graphic novel I should read that we could then discuss. Thus our 2-person comic reading club was born. We’ve read some Superman, Black Widow, and Green Lantern. And now we are reading Jason Aaron’s The Mighty Thor. 

Reading The Mighty Thor as graphic novels (and after going through breast cancer) is different from reading them issue by issue. It’s clear Jason Aaron has some views on power.

Volume 1 - Masculine vs feminine power

Volume 2 - Corporate power & greed

Volume 3 - What it means to be a god

Volume 1 - Thunder in Her Veins

Masculine vs feminine power

This first volume is as much about Loki as it is about Thor. And I find Loki’s story to be more compelling than Thor’s.

Loki has 2 fathers who see him as “less than”. For Laufey (and Odin), power is about brute strength, not intelligence. Loki is lesser because he is not as big and strong as a Frost Giant should be. Loki has to use his mind, his magic, his understanding of people to get what he wants.  In this volume, Loki can’t seem to decide if he is trying to earn Laufey’s love or if he wants to annoy him. It doesn’t matter all that much as it is secondary to his true goal, joining Maleketh’s group as they conquer the realms one by one. But to do that, he has to get the approval of daddy Laufey, who make it clear he does not like Loki’s powers. Despite “passing the test” (i.e. not getting killed by a bunch of Frost Giants), no one on Maleketh's team trusts him. Given how many Loki’s there are, he can’t exactly trust himself either. Only one thing is for certain, Loki is a survivor.

With Thor, Odin cannot stand the fact that a woman is using Mjolnir. He wants her dead and the hammer back where it belongs - with his son. And yet every time Mjolnir presents itself, Jane has a choice to make. She can pick it up and have her cancer treatment be ineffectual, or she can ignore it and the people who need her help. She picks up the hammer every time, slowly killing herself not for glory or to gain power over others but instead to provide help.

Volume 2 - The Lords of Midgard

Corporate power & greed

We discussed this the Friday after the company we work for announced that there would be layoffs but before anyone was told whether they were being laid off or not. It put the story of Dario Agger’s greed and complete disregard for others into sharp focus, amplifying the feelings of anxiety and of being “cogs in a machine” that could be discarded with seeming ease.

Agger is the CEO of Roxxon Energy.  He had a plan to destroy Manhattan and everyone on it if something happened to him. He did not care about those who worked for him. He did not care if he destroyed planets to get the resources he needed. He is every energy company CEO that has known for years that people are causing climate change but are doing their damnedest to convince everyone climate change does not exist.

The message is clear. Corporations don’t care about people, they care about profits. And Agger is the personification of “If I can’t have it, no one can.”

There is a bit at the end where his lawyers want to sue the company that made the jets (as a way to claim it was faulty technology and not a pre-determined process that almost destroyed Manhattan). One notes that the company is a subsidiary of Roxxon Energy. The solution? Sell the subsidiary and then sue it. It’s all slight of hand and optics.

Later Dario Agger shows up in Immortal Hulk. There he represents the Mark Zuckerbergs of the world. Profit is the most important. And if it means convincing people to believe in a reality that doesn’t actually exist, then so be it.

Volume 3 - Asgard/Shi’ar War

What does it mean to be a god?

This volume is all about the power of gods. Brief Synopsis: Loki bruises the egos of the Shi’ar gods, causing them to challenge Thor to determine who the best god is. 

The Shi’ar gods see power as destruction. They create a tsunami so that the people will pray to them. Other challenges include getting someone to kill their child, spreading disease, and just generally causing pain and suffering. The Asgardian gods are little better. They are a society of warriors after all. But Thor, having all of Jane’s experiences, sees her role as bringing relief and healing.

During the challenges, particularly the tsunami, there is the notion that the gods bring hardships, and we pray for them to spare us then pray more in thanks when they do. But there is no deliberate choice on the gods’ part as to who will be saved. It’s just a game. We are playthings for them when they get bored.

But Jane is still human and knows first hand from having cancer how arbitrary it all is. She is a doctor first, god second. (A god who does not believe in gods.) She’d rather help people than be seen as all-powerful, particularly if power equates to destruction.

Given all of that, I know Jane would want us all to wear masks.

[jfthorismymuse]

November 18, 2020

I was supposed to be in Los Angeles this week. We were going to go to Disneyland and Universal Studios. Then I got one of those Google memory messages. "See where you were 6 years ago." Where was I? Disney World. Where am I now? At home. I'm always at home.

Had my first virtual doctor visit. Was that this past week or the one before? I can't tell anymore. It all runs together. I did not care for the virtual doctor visit. It felt very not private. I can see it being nice if one is actually sick and doesn't want to leave bed, but this wasn't that. Even then, tests are helpful to figure out what is wrong. Weird how even that statement has become both political and controversial. At least in regards to Covid.

This year it all comes back to Covid.

[jfthorismymuse]

November 12, 2020

It's a bad hair day. That's okay. We have a new President-Elect and will have an amazing new Vice President to support him. Also, my hair was good on Monday when I had to go renew my driver's license. An appointment is required now, and yet I still had to wait an hour and a half. And then because of the beat cancer, I had to fill out a medical form. I was not expecting that.

Tuesday I saw my radiation oncologist. She said my skin was looking good. Apparently it's good that I'm still putting lotion over my scars. She wants to see me again next year. It takes a long time for the radiated skin to heal completely.

[jfthorismymuse]

November 4, 2020

This was taken in the morning. I'm tired. I'm heartbroken. Biden may still win the election (please let him win the election), but this country is broken. White supremacy, sexism, homophobia are all alive and well. For too many people, their power, their pocketbook is more important than the basic health and safety of others. It's disgusting.

Meanwhile my company has had layoffs. The orange fucker in the White House fucked up the economy, cost hundreds of thousands of people their lives, and people still voted for him. FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I hate people, but I still feel empathy for them. I still understand my privilege and good fortune. I can see the systemic inequities of our systems and want to change them. Is it too much to ask of people to care for others? How many more times do we have to do this?