Hi guys, I am @jihanted. I am using a fresh account for fresh posts.
This story was based on my own breakup. This is not to bash on my ex-fiancé , but to have some kind of closure for myself- like a type of writing/journaling. I wish him nothing but the best in life.
It was a beautiful winter afternoon. The snow lightly coated outdoors and a soft breeze blew. Everyone was walking back from downtown, close to your high school, to class as lunch was ending. You walked into your accounting class that you recently switched into and smiled awkwardly, seeing you were the last one in class. You walked your back to the empty seat near the back of the class and looked around shyly as everyone’s attention was on you. In your peripheral vision, you spotted a familiar face. He was staring at you, a soft smile playing on his face as he had his arm propped up on the table, chin in his palm.
“Hey,” Jungkook softly said, sitting in the seat in the row next to yours.
You blinked and smiled, blushing as you looked into his eyes that stared adoringly at you,
And since then, Jeon Jungkook has made his way into your life.
On Valentine’s day, he gave you candies and offered to buy you pizza from the store nearby school. You smiled happily and accepted, walking along with him. He slipped on the way there, causing you both to laugh and him to blush in embarrassment. Then, by the end of the day, you were his girlfriend.
You stared blankly at the burnt photographs and letters from him. Another fight. It has been two years since you and Jungkook officially became a couple. He was your first kiss, first intimate partner - your first everything. And you were his.
You took a year off of school while Jungkook went to the university in your and his hometown to study mechanical engineering. He was beyond stressed and had no time for you nor himself. Surprisingly, he made time to somehow party with his friends every week on Fridays and Saturdays. You were disappointed but tried to understand how he is feeling. It wasn’t until last night that you snapped.
“No. We can’t work,” Jungkook stated, staring at you blankly.
You were in his dorm, sitting on his bed, tears rolling down your cheeks.
“It just won’t work,” He repeated, looking away and sitting in his desk.
You slowly stood up and walked over to him, touching his shoulder. He shrugged it off and looked at you with stone cold eyes.
You slowly shook your head, “Why?” You asked, your voice cracking.
“You’re becoming clingy, too needy- I can’t handle it anymore,” He slowly said, shaking his head, “And you’re getting jealous way more than before.”
“Exactly. What’s going to happen in the long term then if you keep being like this?” Jungkook stated, sighing and rubbing his face, “It’s not like I’m over you- It’s just, we- you and I- will not work.”
You broke down in tears, crying into your hands as Jungkook stood up and sighed, walking over to the door and opening it,
“Please, Y/N. Please just leave.”
You slowly got up and sobbed, walking over and trying to hold him one last time or at least to have him hold you. You wrapped your arms around him and cried, but he just stood there.
“What about our promises? You said you won’t leave me… Jungkook…” You sobbed. He looked down, muttering, “You broke your promises too.”
“Was I really your first love, Jungkook?” You asked tearfully, looking up at him.
His eyes were blank, dark circles under them. His hair was greasy and getting long. His scent was a bit off- mixed with body wash, sweat, and alcohol. His acne was more prominent and his facial hair was growing.
“Yes.” He simply said, pulling away from you and sighing before looking into your eyes,
“You are. Now, goodbye Y/N.”
Its been two months since. You’ve been stuck in bed, sobbing your heart out as you delete all of the photos and videos you and him shared. It was so bittersweet.
You thought to yourself, Was I not enough? Did I treat him bad? I know we had ups and downs- is it all my fault?
Your phone rang, cutting your thoughts. Slowly, you reached over, secretly hoping it was him.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
It was your best friend. You took a breath in before sobbing into the phone,
They sighed softly on the other side of the phone, “Y/N, I know it’s hard. It’ll take time. Jungkook isn’t the Jungkook you loved.”
The Jungkook you fell inlove with was sweet, caring, honest, loving, and kind. He always was concerned for you and always trying to make you happy.
“Wow, this is beautiful…”
Jungkook averted his eyes from the Christmas lights to you. You both were at a Christmas market. Lights filled the streets as holiday music played. Your arms were hugging one of his as he stared lovingly at you.
“Isn’t it, babe?” You asked, looking up at him with a wide smile.
He smiled widely before softening his gaze, “It really is…” He softly said, reaching over and putting a strand of your hair behind your ear as he planted a soft kiss onto your lips.
You smiled into the kiss and hugged his arm tighter before he pulled away and smiled.
He looked around, “Let’s go get something to eat then look at the shops, yeah? I need to get my mum something.”
You smiled, heart humming happily as you nodded. The lights, atmosphere, the feelings- all of it was so perfect.
“Hey, I love you…” You said, a smile never leaving your face as you and him walked towards a small hot dog stand.
He looked at you and gave you his most beautiful smile,
“I love you too. So much.”
You looked around the downtown Christmas shoppes near your and Jungkook’s old high school. It wasn’t the Christmas market you and him went to but the fact that you and him spend a lot of time around this area and having the Christmas feeling and decorations, it ached your heart.
You walked around slowly, looking up at the lights, smiling with a pang in your heart. You softly sighed to yourself and bit your lip. Memories aren’t enough to keep someone in your life.
You haven’t talked nor seen Jungkook in a while, it was very hard at first but it was finally getting a little easier.
You have discovered that Jungkook now smokes and drinks almost on a regular basis, his grades lowering. He’s also told many people he’s open to hooking up with different girls.
To this day, your heart ached. But it was more manageable.
With a small bittersweet smile, you walked out of the shoppes and looked back, visualizing the times you and Jungkook were there- sharing kisses and buying snacks.
“Hey.. Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong?”
Jungkook snuck into your room once again, making love with you and sleeping over, hugging you close to his chest.
It was 3:04 a.m. You woke up crying.
“I’m just so stressed, Kook- I’m so scared what’s going to happen in the future- career wise and myself-”
He shushed you and held you closer, kissing your forehead and whispering, “We all are, okay? You’re not alone. All I know for sure is that you’ll be okay and you’ll be successful. You’re beautiful and smart.”
He smiled as he held you closer,
“We don’t know for sure. However, I know that I’ll try my best to keep you for as long as I can- forever if I can.”
Everywhere you go, you are reminded of him. But as days go by, it gets a little easier to manage. You realize things.
It was both yours and Jungkook’s first relationship and heartbreak. You both were in different paths and points in your lives. You both don’t have yourselves individually anymore- the relationship made you lose you both as individuals. Everything fell apart because of that. It was neither of your faults nor lack of love. And if he moves on one day, it’s because he found himself and found someone in the same path and/or point of their lives.
Regardless, the love you and him once shared was and will forever be special. To both you and him.
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