He really wished he could be as optimistic as Jill was being. Not that he ever had any real conversation with Rose about how Angeline was when she was still with the Keepers or that he had ever asked her over the course of their short relationship, but he had always gotten the idea that the other was just made for the ‘real world.’ She just needed to find someone that would lead her the way out of the Caves and into the life of a Guardian. Sure, she needed her time until she actually adjusted to everything and it was still somewhat of a daily battle, but it was her wish from the beginning. Eddie was also pretty sure that with her blunt way she had already clarified to her family that there would come a time she’d leave them behind instead of continuing her life there. But yet that wasn’t something he wanted to tell Jill. He much rather wanted to live in this optimistic bubble in which everything could happen, good or bad. That they weren’t doomed with their low chances of rescuing their friend and instead actually able to save her if they just put enough effort in it. It was a much better mindset to have compared to the one he had these past weeks. Besides, Jill had enough to deal with as it is, she shouldn’t worry much more than she probably already does. It lead to him nodding slowly, expression blank as he doesn’t really want to test her ability to read his fake smiles. “You’re probably right. There’s still so much that could happen. Good as well as bad. As long as we keep looking and not give up hope, we still have a chance.” Her following words made him thoughtful, eyes cast to the ground. It wasn’t exactly how she pointed out that they still had each other no matter how true that was as well. He just never considered that Sydney can work her way out within those walls. Here he was again, misinterpreting a situation. For so long he was convinced it was all on them, without even coming up with the idea that Sydney wanted to get out as much as they wanted to and probably tried to come up with ways on her own. She was nowhere near defenseless and certainly stubborn and in love enough to try anything to make half the way so they could meet in the middle. Of course you couldn’t forget that they were still talking about the Alchemists and that they had their own ways to brainwash someone into something they are not, but Sydney wouldn’t just give up. How long has it taken her to even trust them, now that she knows how really are, she’d barely give up with a casual shrug. She was one of the most intelligent people he had ever met, she must know what she’s doing – and for her the situation is certainly not hopeless. Sydney must know that they were fighting for ways to get her out of there. So if she isn’t just giving up, why should any of them? Jill was right. They had all each other with their unique set of skills and knowledge. When they all worked together, they must come up with a way to make the impossible possible. He had spent enough time wallowing in self pity for letting this happen. Now it was time for actions and lifting their spirits. Eddie probably hasn’t felt this hopeful in weeks and it was all thanks to the girl in front of him. A genuine smile curling up his lips, he nodded his head eagerly. It didn’t matter how cheesy her words might be, it was what he had needed to hear. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. If we work together on this – we can do this. Sydney would probably be disappointed in us if she heard us just crying about it. That’s something we can’t let happen.”
Yet there was still the need of a plan they have to figure out. Feeling a little better about the situation didn’t really help how they have somehow have to come up with a way to save her, but that wasn’t important this very second. For just one moment he wanted to allow himself to feel kind of better with himself and talk to Jill about her mother, making beautiful promises about the future. That’s what they deserve as well. Especially Jill. When it came to him, she would deserve the whole world, but then he couldn’t adjust the world to his liking, no matter how much he wanted to. It wasn’t even a maybe someday more than an unrequited love, however it was probably better this way. Like already mentioned, he was convinced she deserved nothing less than the best – which was certainly not him. No matter if it was for a romantic relationship or a Guardian, soon enough they will be separated and he would have to adjust himself with it as he knew it would only be for her. Her thanks only made him a little more giddy, holding back the smile from growing on his lips as he nodded slowly. “No need to.” He replied, meaning each of his words. It was what he was there for. To make her feel a little better, a little more at ease in a situation that was already hard enough. She was so strong, there wasn’t a day he didn’t admire her for it. The least the people in Court can do is accept this one wish of letting her talk to her mother. It was such a small wish compared to what would equally weight with what she deserves for giving her life up to be here. One might argue it was for her safety, which was true, but sometimes you can’t see things that black and white. It was still a great sacrifice that shouldn’t be downplayed by anyone. Not that he was allowed to ever bring it up to any authority or he might as well be stripped from everything entirely. He just could hope that Lissa was able to realize that Jill was her sister before anything else. Not a princess or just some relative. But her only sister. The last chance of family she has before having one of her own. Bringing his attention back to Twilight, he listened to her reply with a grin. She brought up good points, as most of the normal humans were just looking out for super fast vampires that somehow sparkled in the sunlight. Sure, there were those stories that could actually come pretty close to what is actually going on, but he has yet to hear about an author getting everything right. They were able to blend in perfectly and nobody would have any sort of idea that they just had a conversation with a vampire. “I wouldn’t want to risk talking to them and making them more hot to become a strigoi or anything along those lines. It’s just better this way. Though you’re probably right with them treating us like royals. Though – for them it would probably be like the equivalent of some new celebrities.”
A dream. Eddie wasn’t sure if he had allowed himself to dream ever since what happened to Mason. His dream to be able to kill the strigoi’s who have brought so much misery over their trip had ended in the worst possible way, so he just deemed it not a good thing to pursue any further. However Jill’s worse pushed him to think. Greece was usually sunny and warm, a place not a lot of Guardian’s would have to work as there should be only a few who actually chose to live there and if there are any, they are probably not of royal blood. It could be his dream to be ordered somewhere he can actually work and not sit in an office the whole day, without feeling all too guilty for everything that he had let happen. Bowing his head in a small nod, Eddie crocked his head to one side. “That sounds nice – we’ll see.” Once the words spoken, he felt the impulse to smile that vanished at the mention of him deserving a break. Firmly shaking his head, he quickly crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Never. The only break they would allow me would be one for life.” The statement left his lips before he could stop it, almost blurted it out in bitterness. A small sigh passing his lips, he shook his head softly to himself. “Sorry. I just – I know how those people think. I’m one of them and I don’t think that – Not like I need a break anyway. I’m good.” It sounded a lot alike to what his idol Dimitri would say, even if he didn’t realize it himself as he just made sure to avoid direct eye contact with Jill.
Faltering a little when he mentioned the possibility of something bad happening, she cast her glance down to the pavement for a few seconds. She obviously knew he was right, it wasn’t as if one of them was suddenly going to wake up the next morning, and know exactly where Sydney was and how to find her. Things were bound to get worse, before they got better, but she’d wanted to give him some hope. Though, he did mention the possibility of things going right as well, so maybe she’d at least gotten him to consider that things might go their way. To hopefully stop blaming himself. Or even to blame himself than he had done before. None of them would have chosen what happened to them after all, and they were all just dealing with the challenges that life threw at them. None of them had some grand plan on how to fix things, because it seemed wherever they turned, they only ended up with another problem. She just had to put her faith, in good things coming to those that wait. After all, after everything that had happened to her at Court, it was east to focus on the negatives. She had technically died, she had to leave everything she knew and most importantly, she had to leave her family. But when they came to Amberwood, it didn’t take them long to forge their own family. Things had been rocky at the start, but somewhere along the way, they’d made their own little makeshift family – and you didn’t leave family behind no matter what. Smiling softly when he mentioned Sydney being disappointed in them, she couldn’t help but softly. “She’d probably give us a lecture about it.” It wasn’t exactly the best scenario to joke about, but they had to remember everything good about Sydney – and not just the situation she was in. It wouldn’t be fair to Sydney, to forget everything she’d taught them and how much she meant to them. Remembering all the good times, is what was bound to keep them fighting to get Sydney back. If they got too deep into simply mourning the loss, it’d be harder to keep fighting – or at least, that’s what Jill thought. Out of everyone, she knew she was probably the one who knew the least about coming up with a battle plan, but that didn’t mean she was going to keep herself on the side-lines. She was going to help however she could, even if she had to argue with everyone who was bound to tell her, it was ‘safer’ for her to stay while they searched. Sydney had been there when Jill needed someone, and she wanted nothing more than to be able to return the favour. “She’ll be okay. Everyone’s come too far, and been through too much already, it just wouldn’t be right if we didn’t find a way to get her back.” She knew that it might have been naive, to think the world was going to help them after everything they’d been through so far, but she had to believe it would all work out okay in the end. That they’d get Sydney back, and Lissa would overturn the quorum rule, and they could all back to having normal lives. At least as normal as things were ever going to get for them. “This is just going to be some crazy story one day. We already have a few unique stories to tell, what’s one more?”
While talking about things like Twilight and celebrities was incredibly trivial, given the rest of their conversation, it was a welcome distraction. Because despite everything they’d all had to live through, they were still young. Having mindless conversations about whatever came to mind, was what they were supposed to be doing. Granted, Eddie would have been a guardian whether he was at Amberwood or not, he had lost the last few years he had to just be a normal person their age. She might not have known him exactly, but even she had heard the stories about how he had changed after Mason’s death, something she got to know a little more about when they started getting to know each other. Which meant as far as she was concerned, he deserved the chance to get some time where he didn’t need to worry about everything. “When you put it like that, I think I’d rather just be another person in the crowd. Who wants everyone knowing everything about them?” Although the words were meant as a joke, she did mean some of it. For most of her life, she’d been in the shadows, and after she was forced out of them, she missed that sense of anonymity. She’d always wondered what it would be like to be a royal, but when it actually happened, it didn’t quite match what she’d pictured. Especially considering the fact being royal, is exactly what put a target on her back. What forced them all to Amberwood in the first place. What had prompted the string of events, that lead to Sydney being kidnapped. But she tried to focus on the positive – and that was everyone she had gotten close to since the attack. She’d had both a literal and metaphorical second chance at life. She could be more like the Jill she always was at Amberwood, because she didn’t need to worry about being ‘proper’. She had people with her, that she couldn’t imagine her life without now, and that almost made her wish they could just stay at the school – at least that way, they could all stay together. “It’ll be strange going back home, and leaving everything here behind. All the friends we made, the different culture and atmosphere here. Even if everyone else probably thinks we’re the strangest family on the planet, and they just haven’t told us. Although the family has stopped growing lately, which might cut down the rumours.” As strange as their ‘family’ seemed to be, she hadn’t overheard anyone talking about them in a negative way. They’d made an effort to fit in, and forge their own friends, and that was bound to have helped their case. They might have come with a unique backstory and been allowed off campus more often than most, but they always played that down, mostly because they had to. Jill also liked to think that the longer they were there, the less they were lying. Because they were a family now, which took some of the guilt away from lying to their new friends. They’d found a way to make it work despite it seeming impossible, now all they had to do, was get Sydney back despite it also seeming impossible.
“You don’t need to say sorry.” She replied, almost immediately after the word left his mouth. He didn’t after all, it wasn’t his fault she couldn’t understand the logic. They had grown up with vastly different mindsets. They’d been taught in ways, that would lead them into different kinds of lives. Which meant, that she’d never had the same things drilled into her head. “It’s just… Life is just going to go back to normal once we leave here. And for some reason, now it just doesn’t seem… normal. Getting used to being here was hard, but I think it’s going to be strange to go back to our usual lives. One where we might not get to see everyone as often. We might all end up in different places, and I know it’s still easy to keep in contact, it just won’t be the same. At least, if we come up with dream scenarios, there’s a world in which we can all stay together. Even if it will just live in our heads, and never happen.”
