Heyyyyy!!!! Inspired by your latest post, I thought of a funny/good idea for a request😚😚
So, if you want ofc, could you write whc reacting to fem!reader having hooked up with a girl or like whose ex is a girl? She’s bi maybe? And the like found of on accident? Maybe on a truth or dare game or like bumping into her while they were on a date?
"Out of the damn closet"
SUMMARY: Weak Hero Boys react to meeting/hearing about your ex who's a girl.
PAIRINGS: Yeon Sieun, Ah Suho, Oh Beomseok, Park Humin, Go Hyuntak, Seo Juntae, Na Baekjin, Geum Seongje.
WORD COUNT: 6.470 K. (wtf)
GENRE: Fluff, small angst for Gotak's, Juntae's and Baekjin's part,
WARNING: None,
NOTE: I just love when anons are doing this and requesting the exact kind of things i enjoy... like THANK YOU I LOVED WRITING ABOUT THIS!! love you very much and thank you for the support as always hope you liked this one<33 Suho's the longest (tho they're all lwk one shots I'm kinda happy with myself here), Juntae doesn't actually learn your ex's a girl it's more of a coming out scenario, and Baku's one is lowkey a social experiment idk what happened sorry (as always i'm sorry for the delay idk what to say im just slow asf)
TAGLIST — @whcfreak, @suhoholic, @10baku, @christinamadsen, @heartshapesandcigarettes, @vamp18e, @ashayein, @stasiamazia, @aliceskzfan
— YEON SIEUN
𓍯𓂃 Bumping into your ex while on a date with your boyfriend.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
The library was quiet, perhaps a little too quiet. You sat besides your boyfriend, who'd been completely engulfed in his book for almost an hour now, leaving you to sit by yourself, bored to no end. Don't get it wrong, you loved yourself some quiet time from times to times—but what you loved even more was your boyfriend, who'd been ignoring you for some stupid pages for way too long now.
You'd tried everything—sighing loudly, coughing obnoxiously and even 'accidentally' bumping into him a few times—nothing worked. Your boyfriend was lost in his own world, and it showed.
Finally giving up the subtle act, you took the book from your boyfriend and watched as he slowly looked up to you, confusion written all over his face.
"What are you doing?" He asked, his eyes going from his book, to your seemingly angry finger tapping, to your deadpan face.
"Are you seriousy asking?" You groaned quietly—remembering yourself you still were in a library, and a crowded one at that.
Sieun looked away for a second, as if thinking about it. You shook your head at that in mild annoyance and grabbed his hand instead.
"Forget it." You muttered. "Let's just go."
Your boyfriend followed as you hastily left, holding his wrist with one hand and his book in the other. Once out of the library, you turned to your boyfriend—who was still pretty out of it—, grinning widely.
"What do you wanna do?" You smiled. "We can go see a movie. Oh or I heard there's a new restaurant opening nearby! I mean if you're hungry? Cause I am."
Sieun only stood there, looking at you with his seemingly dead look that wasn't actually one once you got to know him, quiet for a moment.
"You could have just told me you wanted to get out instead of dragging me around." He murmured under his breath, as if not actually planning for you to hear it.
"I've given you many signs baby." You retorted, rolling your eyes. "We need to work on your emotionnal capacity of reading subtle signs. Like when tall, mean-looking guys with dumb smirks ask you to follow them—don't."
Sieun gave you a look at that but only sighed as you gave it back.
"Movie sounds good." He finally said, pulling out his phone. "We can get food there too."
You smiled at that, nodding once before grabbing his hand again and taking him along with you. The both of you were though stopped when a voice behind you called out your name. You stopped in your tracks and turned around with a small, confused frow on your face when you saw the face of the girl running up to you, a wide grin on her face.
"Seo-ah?" You asked, dumbfounded. "What are you doing here?"
"Was gonna borrow a book." The girl smiled, pointing to the library the two of you were still standing in front of. "It's been so long!"
You nodded, observing her for a moment, mouth slightly open before regaining your senses and turning to Sieun.
"Oh, right—Seo-ah, that's Sieun, my boyfriend. Sieun, this is Seo-ah, my.. ex."
Seo-ah turned to Sieun, smiling widely.
"Hi!" She grinned, grabbing his hand and vividly shaking it before letting go as fast as she took it. "Nice to meet you, I'm the crazy ex."
You rolled your eyes as Seo-ah laughed, turning back to you.
"Well, I gotta go, but maybe we can meet up sometimes?" She continued. "I mean if that's okay." She quickly added turning to Sieun. "I have a new girlfriend just so you know, she's very cool. Not that yours isn't—"
You laughed and nodded, smiling at the girl.
"It's fine, we get it. You should go, you seem in a hurry. But we'll see you around."
Seo-ah smirked and nodded once, waving goodbye and leaving running as she came. Sieun stood in silence besides you for a second before speaking up.
"She's.. very lively."
You chuckled, your eyes following her figure in the crowd.
"She is. She's an angel but I couldn't keep up with her energy, that's why we broke up. Pretty much." You looked back at your boyfriend, smiling. "Now I annoy you."
Sieun rolled his eyes but didn't say another word for a second.
"I didn't think you'd have an ex."
You smirked, turning to him.
"What? Didn't think I could seduce girls too?"
"No, I'm just surprised anyone managed to put up with you before me."
"Hey—!"
— AHN SUHO
𓍯𓂃 Playing truth or dare gone wrong (or right?).
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
You and Suho had been waiting all week to see each other—thanks to his overworked ass. Thankfully enough, today was the day you'd be released from your boyfriend's absence, hence you two had agreed to meet at your house in the afternoon.
That's how you sat on your couch, your mind too distracted by the boy that should be here already to do anything but sit and wait. You let out a long sigh as the minutes passed by, letting your head fall backwards—he really should have arrived by now. You were desperately pushing any dark 'what if' thoughts away—like what if he got into an accident and you'd never see him again?—when your apartment's door opened suddenly, your boyfriend's grunting being heard from the other side of the place.
You quickly got up to greet him, and maybe scold him just a little for the lateness, when the reason he had taken so long became clear to your eyes as you noticed the three large bags he held in one hand—and smelling awfully good. Suho looked up to you, grinning at the sight as he came closer to take you in his arms, exhaustion written all over his face.
"Baby, I missed you..." He muttered quietly in your ear, trying to hug you but really just leaning all of his weight onto you, making you stumble before you steadied him with your arms around his waist.
"Suho, did you buy food again?" You groaned against him, not in anger—you could never be mad at him—but more in exasperation. "You're gonna ruin yourself if you keep going, I told you I have food in my fridge—"
"And let you eat some reheated junk food? Not on my watch."
You rolled your eyes at that despite the grin forming on your lips—even exhausted, your boyfriend really didn't ever change. Grabbing the few bags he was seconds away from letting fall onto your clean floor, you walked to the kitchen, trying your best to balance the food you really shouldn't spill and your boyfriend's weight who just refused to let go of your waist.
After a lot of muffled complaints from your boyfriend as you wandered the house trying to prepare the food for the two of you, you finally let yourself fall onto your couch—Suho still tightly gripping your waist and nuzzling his face inside your neck. Your food was now steaming before the two of you and your stomach rumbled at the thought only of tasting it.
"Suho, you should at least eat before you fall asleep." You nudged him, weakly trying to get him off you.
"'m not gonna sleep." The boy protested, his words all slurred. "Came here to see my beautiful girlfriend."
You chuckled at that, pretending to agree when you knew for sure he wouldn't last an hour before snoring loudly on your couch.
"Fine then." You grinned, taking a big mouthful of noodles before speaking up again. "Let's play a game to keep you awake."
"You're on." You boyfriend grinned in return, grabbing his food and taking a bite—because no amount of exhaustion, or of anything really, was gonna stop this man from eating. "I choose Truth or Dare."
"Truth or Dare?" You frowned, holding back from bursting out laughing. "That's a terrifying game but sure, go for it."
Suho rolled his eyes at your words, exhaustion slowly wearing off his face as he regained energy from eating.
"Okay." He smirked. "You start."
"Truth or Dare?" You sighed, pretending annoyance when you couldn't even stop grinning at your boyfriend's growing excitement.
"Dare." Suho confidently answered, watching you with sparkling eyes.
You thought for a second before grinning.
"I dare you to give your girlfriend a kiss."
Suho smirked at that and started looking around, feigning confusion.
"My girlfriend? I don't see her here—"
You swat at his head with a grin and your boyfriend dramatically whined at the hit, making you laugh.
"My girlfriend hits me and I have to kiss her.. what a cruel world we live in."
You couldn't help but laugh at that as your boyfriend finally leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. When he pulled back, his eyes were even brighter than before.
"My turn." He spoke with a grin that promised trouble. "Truth or Dare?"
"Truth." You instantly answered, not really in the mood for whatever action Suho, out of anyone, could ask of you right now.
The boy groaned at that but kept quiet for a moment, thinking deeply before giving you a look. You braced yourself as he opened his mouth.
"Do you have an ex?"
The question caught you off guard but it was a rather easy one—you weren't one to hide anything from your partner.
"Yes."
You smirked as a look of pure bewilderment came across your boyfriend's face—his eyes tinted with curiosity.
"Wait really?" Suho asked, very interested all of a sudden. "Is he from our school? Wait—how long have you been together? Do you still talk to him?"
You chuckled to the avalanche of words your boyfriend was pouring at you.
"Calm down," you grinned. "It's supposed to be my turn."
But the look Suho gave you clearly told he didn't care about the game anymore.
"We've been together for five months." You finally answer with a grin. "And no, I don't really talk to her anymore. I mean even if we ended on pretty good terms—we just grew apart you know?"
"That's crazy." Your boyfriend grinned. "I never would have thought—"
The boy suddenly stopped himself, a frown coming on his face as your words replayed in his mind. Wait a second—
"Wait did you say her?"
You couldn't stop the grin tugging at your lips before your boyfriend's wide eyes.
"I may have."
Suho looked at you, confused for a second—the quiet almost scaring you coming from him—, before he visibly managed to find the words.
"So you like girls?" He asked, his hand coming to dramatically clutch at his shirt as his voice turned whiny. "Have you been only pretending with me this whole time?"
You burst out laughing at his antics, smiling widely as you answered.
"Absolutely, I was totally faking our whole relationship." You replied, sarcasm dripping out from your tone. "Any more stupid questions dumbass?"
"Calling me a dumbass too, did I actually never meant anything to you?" Your boyfriend kept whining, feigning to wipe tears out of his eyes. "You're so cold..."
You rolled your eyes and elbowed him in the ribs to make him shut up. Suho pretended to be hurt for a second before his eyes went wide again, turning to meet yours.
"Wait. I think i'm bi too."
You frowned at him, holding in a laugh.
"Oh are you now? Suddenly loving men?"
You grinned as your boyfriend kept his theatrics.
"Oh my—am I coming out? Is this how freedom feels like?"
You laughed loudly at him, throwing a pillow at his head before following and scooting over in your boyfriend's arms.
"Yes, congrats—you're half queer too now. Together we make a whole gay person."
Suho burst out laughing at that, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing you against him, grinning. You hadn't been afraid of telling him, and you wouldn't ever be.
There wasn't any place for insecurities when you dated Ahn Suho.
— OH BEOMSEOK
𓍯𓂃 Where deep conversations take you.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
The gentle evening breeze carressed your face and you closed your eyes, quietly enjoying the feeling. You and Beomseok had agreed to meet at the top of this small hill nearby your house tonight—as a date. You knew better than anyone how harsh and abusive his life at home could be, and were glad to take him away from it whenever you could. From there, you could see the city and if you believed it hard enough—it felt like you were on top of the world. For a moment at least.
You opened you eyelids back at the soft sound of clothes rustling near you, indicating your boyfriend's arrival. The latter sat next to you, smiling as he met your gentle gaze.
"Hey baby." You muttered, leaning in to offer him a kiss on the cheek.
Beomseok's cheeks flushed a soft pink at the contact—something you guessed would never change no matter how many times you gave him physical affection.
"Hey." The boy quietly replied, smiling at you. "I'm happy to see you."
You smiled genntly, nodding in agreement.
"Me too." You breathed.
A comfortable silence settled between the two of you—the kind that didn't need words because it was a whole confession of feelings in itself. The kind of comfortable you could only truly reach with your one and only soulmate. The kind that could never be replicated.
"I love you so much."
You looked up at your boyfriend's sudden confession, his words so low you thought you dreamt them. But his eyes told you you hadn't. So, smiling, you answered.
"I love you more."
"Have you ever loved anyone else before?"
The question caught you off guard—to say the very least—but still, after a few seconds, you answered.
"I did. But never as much as you."
You were genuine. And Beomseok could feel it.
"Who?" He still asked, curiosity—or jealousy—winning over.
You shrugged at his word.
"Just a girl." You replied, eyes lost in the sight before you. "Her name was Ha-yoon."
"A girl?"
You turned to your boyfriend only to meet his eyes already on you, full of surprise. You couldn't hold back a chuckle.
"Yes." You smiled.
Beomseok kept quiet at that before looking away again.
"I didn't know you liked girls." He muittered, almost to himself, making you laugh.
"Well now you do."
The boy nodded, quiet for a second.
"Does anyone else know?"
You shook your head no—and your boyfriend only nodded. None of you worded it, but you knew he liked knowing things about you no one else did.
You were his, after all.
— PARK HUMIN
𓍯𓂃 Genuine feelings meets the village idiot.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
The atmosphere in the restaurant couldn't have been more enjoyable—which was a rare sight. You were seated at one of the tables of 'Baku Chicken', your boyfriend's father shop. Well, that wasn't actually the name of the place, but you liked to call it that—also you couldn't remember the real name to save your life.
Why was the atmosphere usually far from enjoyable? Baku's father. And why was it actually today? The latter was absent. And despite your growing incertainity at your boyfriend's capacity of frying chicken—since he disappeared in the kitchen for a little too long now—, you gladly came to enjoy some food in his company.
"Are you okay?" You called out, leaning forward to try and get a peek at the kitchen from your seat. "Do you need any help?"
"No!" Baku's loud and lively voice replied. "Your perfect chef of a boyfriend is coming to you!"
You held back a laugh, leaning back in your seat as your boyfriend walked towards you with a grin from ear to ear, dramatically placing a plate before you revealing.. slightly overcooked chicken. You almost died trying to keep the laughter inside, coughing instead and nodding as Bakyu stood before you, watching you with wide eyes as he expected your praises.
"It looks.. delicious." You grinned, biting your lower lip as you picked up a clearly burnt piece of chicken.
Your boyfriend seemed pretty blind to it though, as he burst out loud and waved his hands dismissively at you, puffing his chest.
"No no, enough of the compliments." The boy smiled. "I know I'm a great cook, I've been told."
You couldn't hold in a small scoff as you recalled the very vivid memory of Gotak, so long as two days ago, practically begging you to never eat anything Baku could make for you—for your own wellbeing. But you weren't gonna tell him that.
"I'm sure." You agreed instead. "Sit down, let's eat."
You didn't need to tell him twice—still grinning like a child, Baku basically flew in the seat across from you and grabbed the first piece of chicken, almost swallowing it whole. You chuckled and started eating as well, reminding yourself to later tell Gotak that his bestfriend wasn't that bad of a cook, at least when it came to chicken. Which he technically really should have mastered thanks to his dad but you decided to ignore that.
As the evening went on, animated by your boyfriend's usual theatrics and your laughter that never failed to follow, the plate successfully emptied and Baku grinned at you like you were about to award him a medal—or that you should at least. You didn't mention he ate most of it and sighed instead, though the smile wouldn't leave your lips.
"It was really good, Baku." You grinned, praising him. And you were sincere. "Thanks for the food."
Your boyfriend, once again, was unable to react normally to the praise. Throwing his arms in the air and waving them in your face, he looked away and puffed his chest, the slightest hint of pink coverng his cheeks.
"Ah! I know I know, I'm the best and you've never met better cook than me."
You tilted your head at that, frowning a little.
"..I wouldn't exactly say that."
Baku turned to you, eyes so wide you swore they could just pop out and his hand on his heart—where you'd just struck him by the way, how could you.
"You're saying.. you know a better cook?" Your boyfriend loudly protested. "Than me?? Impossible! Who? And don't say Sieun he doesn't count!"
You burst out laughing but quickly stifled your mirth when you saw your boyfriend's face.
"Well, my ex cooked very well—"
"YOUR EX??"
The poor boy seemed so shocked, his jaw could have fallen on the floor right here and then. He held onto the chair as if it was his last hold onto sanity and you just couldnt take him seriously when he looked like that.
"I swear—" You defended yourself between laughters. "I'm not saying it in a mean way—"
"OF COURSE IT'S MEAN IT'S YOUR EX!!"
You were nearly crying at this point, holding onto your painful stomach as even your boyfriend, who was supposed to be scandalized, seemed seconds away from joining you. When you finally managed to catch your breath, at least enough to form a word, you spoke again.
"I'm just saying—she was kind of a better cook than you."
Baku scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Indinity."
"Do you mean indignity?"
"Whatever! That's how I learn you have an ex..."
You grinned at him as he kept mumbling to himself. Just a few more seconds and... Baku gasped—yep, he got it.
"WAIT DID YOU SAY SHE?"
You nodded, biting back yet another laugh.
"Yes I did." You smiled. "My ex was a girl, I'm bisexual. Surprise."
Baku opened widely his mouth, closed it, opened it again and then proceeded to think very hardly for a few seconds.
"Wait you're what?"
"Bisexual." You repeated.
"What's that?"
"It means I like both girls and guys."
"Both?"
"Both."
The boy kept thinking for a moment.
"I mean who doesn't like girls right?"
You burst out laughing once again as your boyfriend gave you a smirk.
He might not understand everything that being bisexual could imply just yet, but he sure knew that he loved you.
— GO HYUNTAK
𓍯𓂃 When your ex contacts you again.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
"What's taking you so long?"
"Can't you wait for five goddamn minutes?"
You groaned, letting your head fall back onto the couch. You were sitting up on the floor, back leaning against your boyfriend's couch as you were waiting for him to come out of the shower. Or he might as well be dead since he'd been giving you no signs of life—because his voice could absolutely be a recording. Dramatic much? Maybe. But he still couldn't possibly be dirty enough to drain all of your hot water supply.
Lost in your own thoughts, you opened your eyes again at the sound of the bathroom door finally opening on your shirtless boyfriend. Though the sight of the water droplets running down his toned body surely did not leave you unaffected, you decided to pout and pretend otherwise—frowning at the boy as he scrambled around the room to find his shirt.
"You're so mean, leaving me alone like that." You grumbled, watching your boyfriend finally find his shirt and put it back on.
"Sure, sue me, I'm the worst boyfriend." Gotak grinned, finally turning to you and crouching before you, a playful smirk on his lips. "Why don't you tell me how you liked the match instead of whining hm? Wasn't I so good?"
You pressed your lips together, crossing your arms over your chest as you refused to give in just yet.
"You were alright." You mumbled, earning wide eyes and a scoff from your partner.
"Alright? That's all I get after scoring half the points?" Your boyfriend, grinned, leaning in. "Also, I'm pretty sure I heard you scream my name about five times in a row during the play, don't act all impassive now."
It was your turn to scoff and roll your eyes at his words, averting your gaze from his as you kept on your whiny play. Your banter was interrupted by the repetitive buzzing of your phone on the couch.
Looking up, Gotak grabbed it for you and looked at the name on the screen, frowning.
"Who's Jin-wa?"
All possible play-pretend from you was instantly whipped from your face at the mention of that name, grabbing your phone to check it yourself. It really was her.
"You alright?" Gotak frowned, looking up at your suddenly thoughtful expression as you didn't reply to the call, eyes stuck on the screen. "Love who's that?"
You kept quiet for a few seconds, definetly turning the confusion on your boyfriend's face to worry. Between the two fo you, your phone kept buzzing in your hands.
"..my ex."
There was a small silence at that—until your boyriend finally registered the words.
"Your.. ex?"
You nodded once and soon enough, silence fell over the two of you as the phone between your hands turned off. Gotak's eyes were bearing into yours, full of confusion and maybe the tiniest tad of jealousy. But he quickly pushed the latter down, because he knew that wasn't what mattered right now.
"Are you okay?" He finally asked after a few seconds, voice soft. "You seemed really.. scared all of a sudden."
He didn't name it, but your boyfriend's mind was already imagining all the possible reasons as to why you'd be scared of only seeing your ex's name—he didn't like any of them.
"No, no I'm fine." You quickly assured him, grabbing his hand and forcing a small smile. "I just.. didn't expect her to call now. Or you know.. ever at all."
You let out a bitter laugh, falling quiet for a second.
"I didn't even know I still had her number saved." You muttered to yourself, looking down on your phone.
Seeing that look in your eyes—one of guilt, shadowed with pain you'd tried so hard to keep buried, Gotak couldn't take it.
"Hey, no." He muttered, gently grabbing your phone and putting it away, leaning in so his face was close enough for you to only see him. "That doesn't matter okay? I don't care how she called you, I just want you to tell me—"
Gotak cut himself off. No—that's what he wanted, not what you needed.
"I just want you to feel safe. "He corrected himself, smiling softly in reassurance.
You held your boyfriend's gaze for a second only to see genuine sincerity and care. A small smile escaped you as you nodded.
Not really knowing what else to say, Gotak slowly opened his arms, offering a hug without ever pressuring you into it—but you only fell into them instantly, burying yourself in his warmth and scent without a word. Gotak held you gently, softly rubbing your back after a while, and never letting go unless you initiated it.
"Thank you." You finally muttered into his neck after a few minutes. "Sorry I didn't tell you anything before, I just don't really like talking about it."
"It's okay." Your boyfriend instantly replied. "Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong."
There were another small silence.
"Just you know, tell me if I need to be mean. Even to a girl."
You chuckled quietly at that, nodding in his shoulder as your boyfriend held you like you were the most precious person he'd ever held.
And believe it, you really were.
— SEO JUNTAE
𓍯𓂃 Learning about each other.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
The funfair was filled with the sound of laughter and the smell of cotton candy. Distant kid's screams could be heard as the rollercoaster went doing loopings again, couples were holding hands and sharing a straw, old people watched the place buzzing with activity with a glint in their eyes that seemed to say they felt nostalgic. And among all of these different people, different lives—they were you two.
Juntae wasn't one of thrill rides or anything too fast and too sudden—and honestly, so were you. Instead, your boyfriend held your cotton candy as you played the shooting game—taking out one, then two, and finally three targets. A yelp of joy escaped you as you won a prize and you chose the small bat plushie that had kind of a lopsided smile. Turning around, you were met with your sparkling boyfriend's eyes, cheering you on.
"That was amazing!" The boy praised you, grinning from ear to ear.
You chuckled, mimicking a bow at him before offering him the plushie.
"Here," you smirked smugly. "I won it for you."
Juntae's eyes widened at the same time your grin did and you couldn't resist kissing your boyfriend's cheek as he accepted the gift with a fond smile. Taking a bit from the cotton candy, you turned around to choose which ride to go on next when your eyes widened.
"Juntae!" You excitedly called out, pointing at the ferris wheel with pleading eyes.
Your boyfriend hesitated at the sight of the gigantic ride, clearly a little scared. But as you assured him he'd be fine, that you woudn't let go of his hand the whole time, he smiled and nodded, following you to the attraction.
You kept your promise, holding your boyfriend's hand the whole time as the ferris wheel slowly got higher and higher in the air. His fingers, laced with yours, squeezed once when the cabin got into ovement but quickly relaxed at the slowness, a small relieved smile seating on his lips.
"Thank you for today."
Juntae turned to you, startled as you only smiled sincerely.
"I really wanted to come here, and I know you were hesitant at first because this place's a little scary sometimes. So I wanted to thank you for coming anyway."
The boy was at a loss of words for a few seconds, eyes sparkling with affection and love towards you—and only you.
"You don't need to thank me." He muttered, his cheeks a soft pink. "I'm really happy to be there for you. Everything feels.. less scary with you. Like I can overcome anyhing with you by my side."
You could feel your heart racing at the confession. Juntae met your gaze again, smile as soft as ever.
"I hope you feel the same way with me."
Your throat was dry all of a sudden, as if all the moisture in your body had rushed up to your eyes—so you simply nodded with a smile, squeezing his hand. After a few seconds, you managed to find your voice again.
"I do." You muttered. "I always feel safer with you, safer than with anyone else."
Juntae nodded but you weren't done. You swallowed, trying to force the words out.
"I've been wanting to tell you something. I didn't before that because there were some poeple in my life that didn't accept me for who I am and left me once I told them, so I was kinda scared."
You chuckled through the tears as your boyfriend's gaze turned concerned.
You searched your boyfriend's eyes for disgust, rejection, fear even—but found none of it. His gaze was full of love, understanding, the same exact one he'd give you without knowing. You didn't realize you were crying until Juntae wiped your tear.
"Thank you for trusting me with this." His voice was low, calm and soothing. "I'm glad and grateful that you told me, and I'm so sorry people were so cruel with you before. I want you to know this doesn't change in anyway how I see or feel about you."
You were sobbing now, your boyfriend's hands cupping your cheeks like you were the most precious being. His smile was soft and loving despite the tears in his eyes at the thought of the pain you must have been through.
"I love you." Juntae muttered again. "Nothing will ever change that."
And as the ferris wheel reached its peak, offering a sight people paid to see, Juntae only leaned in to kiss you gently, holding you close like you were all that mattered to him. Because you were.
And there were no sight like you.
— NA BAEKJIN
𓍯𓂃 Finally convincing him to attend a party.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
You swore you could beg on your knees at this point. You'd been talking of this party you wanted to attend two weeks in advance, more than enough time to convince any other boyfriend to tag along, but not yours apparently. The single mention of it gained you a glare and a firm no from Baekjin—and that everyday for two whole weeks. 'I have work to do', 'I need to manage the Union'—you heard it all but an actually valuable reason not to come. You were this close to believe he just hated humans, you included.
"Baekjinn!" You called out with a whiny voice, entering his office—a pout already seated on your lips.
"No." Your boyfriend instantly cut you off, not even deigning to look up from his usual papers.
Of course he knew. You walked to his desk in two long strides, kneeling before it and clasping your hands together in a prayer as you gave him the biggest puppy eyes you could manage.
"Baby, the party is tonight." You started. "Please, you have to come. I promise we won't stay long, I'll never ask anything of you again, please just this once—"
"It's no." Baekjin stated firmly again, making you want to dissect him just to make sure he actually had a heart behind his attractive torso.
Dramatically falling back in pure desesperation, you looked at the ceiling for a second before another idea crossed your mind. There was one thing you hadn't tried. Sighing loudly, you got up and, very slowly, walked to the door.
"Fine then, I'll go alone. Surrounded by strangers, scared to death, vulnerable to any attacks from other gangs and completely abandonned by my very own boyfriend—"
The sharp sound of Baekjin clicking his tongue made you grin widely—you knew you'd won.
"Thank you baby!" You exclaimed, turning to him and running to give him a kiss on the cheek. "I knew you loved me! See you tonight!"
Your boyfriend sighed heavily as you skipped out of the bowling alley, happier than ever. Tonight was gonna be something.
The satured sound blasting from speakers all around the room and the blinding lights would have been enough for Baekjin to turn around and go back instantly—but your firm hold on his wrist and your stupidly cute smile forced him to follow around.
The night passed by slow for your boyfriend, but he didn't once open his mouth to complain. After all, he came with you, and whenever he saw that smile on your face—he made sure no one, including himself, ever took it away. As for you, you were moving around and dancing happily, clearly having the time of your life. From times to times you turned around, just enough to meet your boyfriend's gaze—far enough not to be squished by strangers but close enough that he could intervene if anything happened, his gaze never leaving you in the crowd. You smiled at him, and was grateful he came.
A gentle but sudden hand on your shoulder made you turn around, your wide smile falling off instantly at the sight of the girl before you. Even in this place, where recognizing anyone should be rewarded with a medal, her touch only was enough for you to know who you were dealing with.
"Hey." The girl leaned in suddenly, close enough so you could hear her voice above the deafening surroundings. "Been a while uh?"
You were almost frozen, your brain desperately trying to make sense of the situation at hand. Why was she here? Why did she came up to you? It's not like you guys were friends. The girl chuckled at your lack of response and the sound only made the unease in your stomach grow. You opened your mouth to excuse yourself, insult her—just do anything really, when you suddenly felt someone looming from behind.
Baekjin stood there, eyeing the girl with an emotionless stance. He hadn't seen her from afar but, as if owning a radar a sixth sense, your boyfriend had somehow sensed your discomfort. He didn't talk, simply moved his gaze from the girl to you, examining your face. And one look at it was enough for him.
Grabbing your hand, you saw your boyfriend's lips move despite being unable to hear anything as he started dragging you away from the girl and the crowd, his grip gentle on you. Once the two of you were out of the club, Baekjin turned around again.
"Are you okay?"
His voice was calm, steady, like nothing was worth panicking for. You didn't answer instantly, breathing still slightly labored before you nodded.
"Yeah—yeah I'm.. fine."
"Did she hurt you?"
Not who she was, what she wanted—only what she had done. Because if Baekjin cared about one thing, it was you and your safety. And the look he'd seen on your face in that crowd was anything but feeling safe. You stood quiet for a few seconds, before slowly shaking your head.
"No, not—"
You cut yourself off, unable to finish the sentence. Finally, your voice lowered, you spoke.
"She did.. a while ago. When we were together, she just..."
Your voice faded by the end, unable to speak up just now about what she'd done to you. Baekjin didn't need to hear it.
He nodded, once, then grabbed your hand and pulled you into the softest hug he ever gave you. Eyes wide and teary, you answered to it gently, arms wrapping back around him.
He didn't mention anything about her gender, didn't seem shocked or disgusted that you'd been with a girl before. That didn't matter to him, you only did. And if that girl hurt you, he'd make sure she paid.
"Com'on." He muttered gently after a while, grabbing your hand. "Let's go."
You followed him as he walked you away from the club, feeling safer than ever with his fingers wrapped around yours.
You weren't going back to a party anytime soon.
— GEUM SEONGJE
𓍯𓂃 Seeing old photos together in your phone.
YOU'RE WHAT NOW?
The endless sound of the keyboard and his mouse clicking could have drove you insane—it really should have. But you knew your boyfriend by now, and brought the only thing keeping you from losing it—your dear earplugs. Now, even when Seongje decided to be mean and basically ignore you for his games, you could still sit here in the same room as him, bored to no end, swipping through your gallery with evident disinterest.
This really should have been a normal, peaceful day, but that hope was ruined the second your phone was snatched away from your hands. You frowned and looked up, ready to fight whoever Union guy bothered you, only to find—not so surprinsingly—your boyfriend, standing there frowning at your screen like it was a personnal insult to his existence. Your eyes drifted to his empty game set and, for once, blamed your earplugs for not letting you know sooner that your boyfriend suddenly decided to change activities.
"Give it back." You sighed, extending your open hand as you demanded the device back.
Seongje barely spared you a glance, scoffing.
"Why would I?" The boy smirked, clearly proud of his childish behavior when he held your phone high enough to keep you from grabbing it. "I wanna know what you're doing."
You rolled your eyes, taking off your earplugs as your boyfriend scrolled through your phone as if he expected to find something scandalous. You let him do—you had nothing to hide.
Sitting back on your chair, you let out a long sigh Seongje obviously ignored, his thumb still swipping through your phone until his movement halted. You didn't notice at first, not until he called out to you.
"Who's that?"
You raised an eyebrow at the question, turning your gaze to the screen Seongje turned to you. On it, was a picture of you and another girl your age, sticking your tongues out at the camera, your cheeks glued together.
"I've never seen her." Your boyfriend said again, clearly offended you dared to be that close to a friend he didn't even know.
"That's Na-eun." You simply answered. "She's my ex."
For once, you saw suprise on Seongje's face—which was a rare sight.
"Ex?" He asked again, to which you just nodded. "You never told me you had an ex. I wouldn't have guessed given how inexperienced you clearly are in relationship."
You rolled your eyes and ignored his comment. "Well now you know. Can I have my phone back?"
But Seongje brought the screen close to his eyes again, as if examining the picture with a frown as you sighed loudly.
"She's kind of a baddie though."
Your eyes went wide at that, turning to him as you raised an eyebrow, defiant.
"How'd you pull her—?"
You didn't let him finish, up on your feet within a second and snatching your phone from his hands this time.
"Okay yeah well I'll just go back with her then." You cut him off, pretending to make a call.
Seongje scoffed at that but the only sight of him chasing after you to prevent you from calling someone—that you forgot the number of by the way—was enough to bring a wide grin to your lips.
In which you accidentally send Peter Parker a photo that was definitely not meant for him, and things get a lot more complicated between two people who swear they can’t stand each other.
Warnings: !MDNI! bully!reader, meangirl! reader, sexual themes, cheating but not on eachother, suggestive content, accidental intimate photo, enemies-to-lovers, sexual tension, set in highschool, jealousy, explicit language, poor decisions, and 18+ scenes, really pathetic begging…jst how mama likes it.
5.6k wrds!
Remind yourself: never fall asleep on your balcony while it's raining. Ever again. Even if it's aesthetic and you feel like Bella Swan.
You groan as the sun slips through your window, hitting your face. You roll over, burying your face into your pillow.
You felt like shit. Complete and utter shit.
After attempting to get the perfect Instagram story of the thunderstorm a couple of days ago, you'd fallen ill rather quickly. Turns out, standing out on your balcony in the pouring rain for the sake of an aesthetic Instagram story probably wasn't the smartest idea.
It was indeed a hit though, 93 swipe ups, 489 likes, and 968 views. Totally worth it.
You'd already been gone from school for two days.
The first day was the worst. Between the throwing up, shivering, sweating, and feeling like you were actively dying, it was pretty much a personal reminder of hell.
You couldn't even watch one episode of your comfort show without your friends' group chat blowing up. It was a combination of someone talking shit, your friends bugging you about where you were, or some new piece of gossip you absolutely did not have the energy for.
You had hoped your sickness would just really take you out when you got the text.
“Omfg, Your sick ass is gone for one day and you get roped into Penis Parker’s project group. DEADD.”
When you saw it, you let out what might've been the world's whiniest groan, immediately reaching for the nearest Jellycat and choking it in your arms like it had personally betrayed you.
Peter Parker. Peter fucking Parker.
Your relationship with Parker left much to be desired. Actually, it wasn't even a relationship at all. It was more of a very personal, one-sided vendetta that seemed to piss you off more than anything.
If anyone else asked why you disliked the nerd so much, you'd say it was because he always had to be the smartest person in the room, because he couldn't hold a conversation to save his life, or because he was a creep who stared at you way too much.
Anything, really, to make you feel justified in your efforts to piss him off.
The truth, however, was that you hated Peter simply because he refused to hate you.
It had started innocently enough. You were both in third grade, and you'd immediately been smitten with the brunette boy who refused to step on ants and was somehow one of the only kids in class with genuinely impressive coloring skills.
He was also excessively kind to you. Not like the other boys, who would pull your ear or snap your pencils under the guise of "well, that just means he likes you."
No, Peter was kind.
Peter complimented your flower drawings and quietly reminded you to write your name at the top of your quizzes so you wouldn't get reprimanded.
It had younger you slowly making your way to lunch just to walk beside him, and sitting next to him during recess so you could listen to him ramble about his favorite book.
However, you'd always been a rather spoiled child. So when you realized that Peter wasn't just a sweet boy to you, he was a sweet boy to everyone, the feeling in your stomach began to squirm.
The blushes quickly turned into "accidentally" cutting him in line at the water fountain and joining the other boys when they teased him.
The worst part about it was that Peter never changed.
He never stopped reminding you to write your name, even if he said it a little less confidently each time. He never stopped complimenting your flowers, even when you'd sneer at him while the boys behind him snickered.
It only made you angrier.
Because Peter could still compliment Sarah B's hearts and play hopscotch with Emily F. He could still be kind to everyone else, so why couldn't he just take the hint and leave you alone?
Even in middle school, when you started growing into your features and your weekly crushes turned into loosely defined relationships, Peter was still just... Peter.
He had, however, stopped interacting with you so much. Apparently, he'd figured out that being anywhere near you earned him relentless teasing from the other kids.
Instead, he became quieter, sticking mostly to one kid you knew as Ned. He focused on himself, smiling at his friend in the hallways as they spoke in hushed conversations, while you were surrounded by a group of people you knew didn't really like you.
That was when you really started to hate Peter Parker.
The envy in your stomach never seemed to settle, twisting every time you watched him be genuinely happy while you quietly hated yourself.
He never glanced at you, never talked to you, and it drove you genuinely crazy.
So when he walked past you and your friends on his way to the office before the bell rang, you called out—
"Hey, Penis Parker!"
The mortified look that crossed his face as your friends burst into laughter made something inside you feel almost embarrassingly good.
Because finally, after all those years, Peter Parker had looked at you again.
The name stuck with him all the way through high school, and every time you heard someone call him that and watched his back tense, a smug little smile would grace your lips.
Because you knew you were the reason.
And, judging by the way his shoulders stiffened every time he heard it, he knew it too.
Because you really fucking hated Peter Parker, especially now.
Now that Peter Parker had grown into his stupid, lopsided smile and squeaky voice, his messy brown hair and annoyingly large brain.
Now that you'd grown into your own figure and looks, gained ten new friends and racked up twenty ex-boyfriends, all of whom you knew would throw you under the bus for a five-dollar bill.
So knowing you'd be stuck in a group with the spineless idiot made your blood boil. You already knew it'd be hours of him slowly trying to help you as if you were an idiot.
"I know, Parker," you'd snap. "I can fucking read."
You could practically imagine it.
How he'd frown slightly before immediately recovering, nodding as he leaned away. You knew he'd watch you work on the project closely, silently searching for mistakes as if you couldn't feel his eyes burning into you.
And when you'd inevitably snap your head up to look at him, he'd flush, quickly look away, and mumble an apology.
The idea of it made you buzz with excitement. Maybe you'd put gum in his hair again. That had pissed his friends off real bad last time. That MJ girl had glared at you for a solid week afterward.
Your giddy planning was rudely interrupted by another buzz from your phone. You held back a sigh as you glanced down at the screen.
Babe. <3
Another message joined the collection of ten missed calls and twenty-five unread messages, all of them asking if you were okay and whether he should come over.
He really shouldn't. God, you wanted to cry at the thought of it already.
He was a basketball player who you'd honestly grown pretty bored of already, but he had a lopsided smile that made your eyes warm and a fat wallet that kept you happy.
You huffed before sending him a quick message saying you were alive, but he should stay away and let you rest. Then you turned back over, already dreaming of lopsided grins and pathetic apologies.
The second day was somehow even more torturous.
You didn't throw up again, and after your shower, you felt vaguely less stuffy, but the headache pounding behind your eyes had rendered your personality completely insufferable.
You silenced your group chats and blocked your boyfriend for the day, fully expecting to finally get some peace and quiet.
Then your phone buzzed again.
Someone had added you to a group chat.
Mr. Kavinsky Physics Project
You swore you felt tears welling in your eyes as you picked up your phone and opened the messages.
It was a group of randoms, already delegating tasks and clarifying their understanding of the assignment.
"okay so we need to figure out what everyone's doing"
"did anyone actually read the rubric because i'm confused as fuck 😭"
"I can do the research part if someone wants to do the slides"
"Guys Mr. Kavinsky said we have to present this Friday btw"
You stared at the screen in disbelief, wasting no time pressing Leave Group before tossing your phone aside and returning your attention to the TV.
Your phone buzzed again two minutes later. You cursed.
Peter_P4rk4r added you to a group chat.
Your mouth curled into a small grin at the thought of him sitting there, contemplating whether he really wanted to add you again. Knowing he probably didn't want to, but clearly deciding that dealing with you was still worth it if it meant avoiding a lower grade.
You opened the group chat, watching him type for what felt like hours with a toothy grin as you bounced your foot over your knee.
Peter_P4rk4r: Delaney, you work on the research portion, Jacob, can you do the calculations, Emily, do the slides.
You felt giddy watching him pause before typing another message, this time with your name.
Peter_P4rk4r: Could you please do the introduction and conclusion?
That asshole really gave you the introduction and conclusion. You mentally reminded yourself to ask Flash to give him a wedgie in the cafeteria next time you saw him.
You waited a few seconds before hearting his message, then waited a few more before turning it into a thumbs down and silencing the group chat.
Peter Parker's grade could burn for all you cared.
That was the entirety of your second sick day. Ice cream, ignored group messages, and plotting exactly how you were going to make Peter Parker cry the next time you saw him.
So now, on your third day, you finally felt much better.
You unblocked your boyfriend, unsilenced your friends, and even peeked at the physics group chat. You'd even gotten up to do some yoga before settling back into bed, feeling almost human again.
The rest of the day passed in a lazy blur of half-watched episodes, scrolling through TikTok, and occasionally checking the physics group chat just to see if anyone had the audacity to message you.
Your boyfriend, unfortunately, had apparently decided that your brief recovery meant you were now available for his attention. Every few minutes, another text appeared.
miss u.
are you feeling better?
you still mad at me?
can i come see you now?
You left every single one unanswered.
It was almost impressive how quickly his concern managed to ruin your day. You knew he meant well, but the constant messages were starting to feel like someone poking a bruise just to make sure it still hurt.
By the time he sent another "I miss your face :(", you tossed your phone onto the bed with an aggravated huff.
You shoved a pillow over your face and screamed into it, muffling your frustration as another few buzzes rattled against the mattress.
The first message you checked was, once again, from your boyfriend.
hey, baby... could you send me 🍒? jst miss you sm.
You rolled your eyes at the desperation before letting your eyes trail down to the next contact below.
It was Peter.
Peter_P4rk4r: Hey, look, I don't want to be annoying, but could you please just do your slides?
That one made a small giggle escape your mouth.
You stared at his message for a few seconds, your lips twitching as you imagined the expression on his face while typing it. Probably hunched over his desk, eyebrows drawn together, debating whether he should bother you again or simply accept that you were going to tank his grade along with your own.
He was so painfully predictable.
And now that you were feeling better? Well, you suddenly had all the energy in the world to be a little annoying.
You already knew how the next hour was going to go.
You were going to spend it bullying Peter through text until he inevitably gave up trying to reason with you, while your boyfriend continued blowing up your phone until you finally shut him up.
You quickly sent Peter a simple No just to rile him up, settling back into bed as you got comfortable.
You shifted into a pose you knew would look effortlessly tempting, angling yourself just right as you adjusted your hair and let your gaze linger on the camera. You dragged your shirt down, revealing the fact you were wearing no bra. After one last glance at the screen, you settled into the pose, lips curling into a knowing little smile before your finger pressed down.
Click.
You didn't even bother checking it, sending it off to your boyfriend without a second thought as you opened Peter's thread to see if he had responded.
The only message waiting for you was from your boyfriend.
what do you mean no? wtf
Your heart sank immediately as you scrambled back to Peter's message thread, only to realize you'd somehow sent him the picture instead.
Your fingers shook as you frantically tried to delete it, but the little Read appeared beneath the message.
Holding your breath, you stared at the screen, praying that maybe, just maybe, he hadn't actually processed it.
You knew he had.
Peter_P4rk4r:
oh
Peter_P4rk4r:
uh
Peter_P4rk4r:
I'm guessing that wasn't for me
Peter_P4rk4r:
which is unfortunate
Peter_P4rk4r:
I mean—
Peter_P4rk4r:
not unfortunate that you sent it to the wrong person
Peter_P4rk4r:
just unfortunate that I'm the wrong person
Peter_P4rk4r:
that sounded better in my head
Peter_P4rk4r:
you look really good though
Peter_P4rk4r:
not that I was looking
Peter_P4rk4r:
I mean obviously I looked because you sent it to me
Peter_P4rk4r:
okay I'm going to stop talking now
You shut your phone off, hissing as you pressed it against your forehead. This was so fucking humiliating.
Your stomach twisted as you imagined Peter showing the picture to Ned, then Ned showing someone else, and suddenly the entire school knowing.
Peter would have every right to hold it against you, considering all the shit you'd put him through over the years.
You didn't even get the chance to properly spiral before your phone buzzed again.
Peter_P4rk4r: But yea, yea, I'll do your slides lol. No biggie.
You reread the message twice before a breathy laugh escaped you.
This idiot really thought you'd been asking for a cop-out. Not only that, but he'd handed it to you without a second thought.
You scrolled back through his other messages, rereading his painfully awkward attempts at flirting. The warmth that settled in your stomach was small, but unmistakable.
You found yourself imagining him at his desk, cheeks flushed as he bounced between his laptop and his phone, trying desperately to focus on the project while your photo sat there on his screen.
The thought made your smile return.
Or was he touching himself instead? Thinking about the girl who made his life a living hell sending him an unwarranted nude.
You pressed the call button and held your phone up to your ear, a small, mischievous smile tugging at your lips as you waited for him to answer.
The call connected after two rings.
"Hello?" Peter's voice came through, cautious and slightly breathless.
You smiled. "Hi, Parker."
There was a beat of silence. You've never called Peter before, ever.
"...Hi."
"You sound nervous." You giggle. You shuffle your blanket off of you with your feet.
"I just—" He cleared his throat. "I wasn't expecting you to call."
"After what I sent you?"
Another painfully long silence. It was as if Peter had already decided he wouldn't mention it ever again. Like you spoke it back into existence.
"Yeah," he finally squeaked.
You bit back a laugh. "Aw. Did I make you nervous?"
You could practically hear him hiding his face through the phone.
"Can we please just talk about the project?" You heard a small ruffle behind the screen. "I'll do your part but you still need to know how you're presenting it."
You grinned. "Sure, Peter."
"Thank you." He sighed, relieved.
You let a bit of silence pass as you listened to him click off on his laptop. You wondered if he had the furrowed brow he always had when he stared at something he never understood. Most of the time, that was you.
"After you tell me how many times you looked at the picture."
He went completely silent, the clicking halting with him. You burst out in giggles, huffing in between breaths as you mumbled under your breath about how much of an idiot he was.
Another moment of silence passed, this one lasting even longer.
After your laughter finally died down, Peter still didn't reply. His clacking resumed instead, only this time it was much faster, more frantic, like he was suddenly very determined to finish the project as quickly as possible.
You let out a fake whine. "Don't ignore me, Peter."
He still didn't respond, letting the silence sit between you until it started to genuinely piss you off.
"Peter," you said again, this time more annoyed.
He let out a low noise on the other end, followed by a few more clicks. "Why'd you call me?"
You opened your mouth, but he interrupted before you could think of an answer.
"I already said I'd do your work," he said, his voice pathetically dejected, like he still couldn't believe he'd actually agreed to it.
The sound did something to you. Anything remotely sad coming from Peter always seemed to. You shifted beneath your blanket, squeezing your thighs together as you suddenly found yourself at a loss for words.
For once, you didn't dare reply.
Seemingly growing more annoyed by your silence, Peter spoke again.
"I mean..." He chuckled breathlessly. "I already told you you looked good."
You blinked, your lips twitching.
"You know you looked good," he continued, sounding almost exasperated. "I don't understand why you chose to call."
Growing a little defensive, you bit back a smile. "Well, you fucking answered."
Peter sighed on the other end, the sound dragging through the phone. "I don't know why I'm doing this."
You smiled, sinking further into your pillows. "Doing what?"
"This." He clicked his tongue, sounding tired. "Talking to you. Doing your work. Letting you make fun of me."
You giggled. "Nobody asked you to."
"I know."
"You are," you yawned, stretching your legs beneath the blanket. "You are pathetic."
He went quiet. Then, barely above a mumble, "Maybe."
That made you laugh. "You're not even denying it."
"I'm tired," he said miserably. "I've been dealing with you since third grade. I think I'm allowed to be tired."
You grinned at the ceiling. "And yet you're still here."
Another sigh. "Yeah," Peter muttered. "I know."
This was the first time either of you had really acknowledged the strange dynamic between you.
All the teasing, the years of pushing and pulling, it suddenly felt a little different now that you both knew exactly what was happening.
It should've made you feel bad. And, in some small way, it did. Mostly, though, it made you squirm with excitement.
You didn't reply, letting the silence stretch as you watched the ceiling. You almost didn't register the way your hand snuck under your waistband.
Peter spoke again. "Why are you acting so..."
He trailed off, searching for the word, before letting out a frustrated sigh.
"Unaffected? I mean, you sent me—" He cut himself off.
"Do you usually just send shit like that to random people?"
A small smile tugged at your lips. You let your hand sneak deeper, resting outside your panties.
"Do you really consider yourself someone random to me, Peter?"
The question seemed to register with him, and you heard him go breathless as he searched for an answer. The sound made you push the cloth away with a finger, letting another one softly touch your folds.
You heard him suck in a breath, clearly getting ready to reply, when your phone suddenly buzzed loudly with a string of repeated messages.
Your boyfriend. Of course.
You frowned at the screen, irritation immediately settling in. Why did he always have to interrupt whenever something good was happening?
The noise seemed to startle Peter on the other end. You heard him let out a sharp exhale, followed by the scrape of a chair against the floor as he shifted around.
"It's your boyfriend," Peter mumbled, though it sounded more like he was reminding himself than telling you.
A small pause followed. "Right," he added quietly. "Of course."
Whatever tension had been building between you immediately disappeared, and Peter launched into a rambling explanation of what you should say during the presentation and what you should avoid.
It irritated you beyond comprehension.
You could hear it in his voice. He felt it too. For once in your life, you found yourself cursing the fact that Peter Parker was such a fucking pussy.
With your body already aroused and anger tightening your chest, you decide to give in to the sensation. As Peter rambles on about the project, you press breathlessly against your clit, a soft hum escaping your lips.
Your fingers explore slowly at first, then with growing confidence, tracing delicate circles that send sparks through your body. You press a little harder against your clit, the intensity building quickly, and a sharp, breathy noise slips past your lips as the pleasure intensifies.
You heard Peter pause at the noise.
"What are you..." He trailed off hesitantly, his voice suddenly quieter.
You huffed, already annoyed by how easily he backed down. "C'mon, Peter. Don't be such a pussy."
You hear him shuffle the phone closer to his ear, his breathing growing heavier, and the sound stirs your imagination even more. The thought of him crying, begging beneath you, makes you so fucking wet, fueling your desire as you press harder, losing yourself in the moment.
"Fuck," you pant, voice low and firm. "You're no idiot. Now, help me."
His voice sounds exasperated, tinged with fear, and you can almost see the bewildered expression on the other side of the line.
"You have a boyfriend."
You let out a low moan as you slip a finger inside yourself. "A boyfriend who wouldn't hesitate to shove your head in a fucking toilet."
Peter falls silent, and in the background, you hear the faint sound of a zipper.
For a moment, it's just your breath, heavy and ragged, until you slowly hear his noises fall over. You can tell he's biting down on his lips.
"Oh, come on, Peter," you whisper, voice dripping with challenge. "Won't you even talk to me?"
You hear him let out a small whine. "And say what?" he whimpers. "Fuck, I don't even know what to say."
You slip another finger inside, moving steadily and deliberately, determined not to let any sound stay unheard. From the other end, you catch him murmuring curses under his breath.
"Tell me what you thought when you saw my picture," you say.
Peter lets out a broken noise. "Your titties?" he moans aloud for the first time, and it utterly undoes you. You move your fingers faster, a cry escaping you.
Peter falls silent for a moment, slowly registering the effect his loud whine has on you, you can almost hear him processing it. If you weren't so caught up in the moment, you might've cussed him out.
He pants heavily. "I knew you were beautiful, but seeing that..."
He moans softly. "I got so fucking hard, I felt so dirty."
You let out a low growl, moving your thumb against your clit. "You're such a pathetic freak, Peter."
He lets out a broken chuckle. You hear him spit in his hands before returning to his cock, moaning again.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm a pathetic freak," he whispers.
Hearing him say it makes your hips buckle upward as you huff out a silent fuck.
Peter's moans grow louder, matching yours. "You like that?" He asks and it leads to you biting down on your hand to keep quiet.
Peter seems to sense it, letting out a soft cry. "No," he begs. "Please, let me hear you. Please."
You stay silent again, and Peter curses, voice trembling.
"Please, I'll do anything, just please," he begs, desperation thick in his tone.
"I'm being so good already, doing your work, touching myself, taking all your shit and whining like a damn idiot."
He breaks down, voice trembling with tears. "If my friends knew, they'd be so disappointed."
You hear a shaky sob pressed against the phone. "If your friends knew, they'd kill me."
A soft whimper follows, his breath hitching as he fights to hold it together.
You can't help it, the spit gathered on your hand loosens your jaw, and your moans spill out.
"Fuck." He croaks, voice rough. "That's it. Let me hear how much you like this."
Peter's voice cracks as he moans your name hesitantly, desperation bleeding through. "Can you tell me what you're doing, please?"
His breath hitches, a shaky whimper escaping before he falls silent, waiting for your answer.
You hesitate, debating whether to give him the satisfaction of knowing just how much he has you. But you're flushed against the bed, two fingers slick with your juices, and you realize the damage is already done.
"I'm—" you choke, slamming your fingers against yourself again. "Fingering myself, Peter."
"Mm, yeah?" he eggs you on.
"Yes," you croak. "Two fingers."
"Add another," he commands, voice suddenly sharp and confident, a stark contrast to his earlier begging. It makes you want to refuse.
He spits out your name, and you hear him pound his cock harder. "Lose the bitchy attitude. Add another fucking finger."
You immediately comply, sliding a third finger inside and hissing at the sharp sting. Peter lets out a bitter laugh.
"That hurt?" He clicks his tongue. "Your boyfriend must not be very big."
You don't respond, instead moaning softly at his words. This was a different Peter, one you'd been trying to coax out for years. And here he was, effortlessly undoing you in a way no one ever had.
His moans grow more desperate, trembling with need.
"If I was there..." His voice slows, thick with desire. "In you, fuck, you'd probably be crying all over my dick."
The thought makes you mewl softly, heart pounding, and Peter's whisper cuts through the silence, "Fuck, I knew you've been fucking thinking about it."
You snarl, trying to mask the ache, "Fuck off, Peter."
But then, his voice drops low, commanding, "Moan my name."
A sharp laugh bursts from you, a mix of defiance and longing. "Fuck no."
Then, almost cruelly, he hangs up.
Your head falls back, a soft whine escaping as frustration and humiliation wash over you. You wanted to be strong, to resist, but you weren't.
The shame stings through every nerve.
Unable to hold back, you call him again. He picks up on the first ring, silence hanging heavy between you, until you break it with a trembling, desperate moan of his name.
"Fuck, Peter."
Tears prick your eyes as you whisper, "You win, you win."
He lets out a whiny moan, thick with relief and longing, trembling with a mix of frustration and desire that seeps from every breath.
"I'd fuck into you so good," he whimpers, his voice trembling with a painful mix of longing and regret. "You'd probably scratch me all up, slap me, anything to make me cry."
A shiver runs through him, and he whispers, barely able to hold back the ache, "I know you like it. I'd give you that all the time if you just..."
His voice cracks as he growls out a low, sorrowful moan, filled with desperate need and sadness. "If you fucking asked."
His words make you let out a small gasp and a soft whimper, your fingers slowing as the weight of his confession leaves you breathless and undone.
You don't want to admit that his words stirred something deep inside you, reaching back to years ago when you longed to be the only one Peter ever looked at.
So instead, you let out a mocking sound. "I'll never fucking ask."
He lets out a small sigh, mingled with a silent moan, as if he had expected your answer all along. "It's okay," he says softly. "I'll give it to you anyway."
You let out a frustrated sound, three fingers just weren't enough anymore. Fuck pride, fuck it all.
"I need you. I need your cock, Peter."
He lets out a startled noise, as if he can hardly believe what he's hearing. "Really?"
You moan in response. "When you're talking to me like that, fingers just aren't enough."
You hear him spit onto his cock, the wet squelch clear through the phone. "Fuck, my cock needs you too. You're such a good girl," he says breathlessly.
Your breath hitches at his words.
"It's okay, baby, I know you're a good girl. I see it," he murmurs, moaning deeper. "Keep moving your hand with me. Let me cum, my sweet girl."
Tears start to well up, and you don't know why you're crying, whether it's from his sweet praise you feel you don't deserve, his quiet devotion to helping you come, or the overwhelming rush of pleasure.
You feel your orgasm building, moaning loudly as you grip the phone tighter. "Cum, Peter."
Even though you know he's only asking out of principle, it makes your heart race all the same, the thought of him asking politely for release while he's the one who has you sobbing.
You come, tears flooding your cheeks as your hand moves with you, your sobs mingling with the rush.
Peter cums shortly after, his voice choked with desperation. "So good... thank you, thank you... so good."
You both pant against the screens, a charged silence simmering between you as you sniffle softly once more.
You hear Peter shuffle immediately, the faint rustle of his movement betraying his nervousness as he says your name softly, like he's afraid to scare you off.
"Hey, hey," he murmurs gently, his voice trembling with concern. "You okay?"
You don't answer, biting your lip hard enough to taste the sting as another sob escapes you, shaking your body.
"No, you're okay," he insists firmly, voice soft but unwavering, as if trying to hold you steady from miles away.
You can almost see the crease of his frown deepening with worry. "You're okay."
"Did I make you cry?" His voice cracks, filled with raw fear and guilt.
You bark out a wet laugh, the sound broken but genuine, shaking your head. "You're such an idiot."
Peter exhales sharply, the quiet huff of frustration or helplessness filling the silence between you. He waits patiently as you sniffle, your breaths uneven as you try to compose yourself.
"Don't cry," he sighs deeply, his voice a soothing balm, full of unspoken promises. "Everything's okay."
You frown, vulnerability softening your features as you finally speak, voice barely above a whisper.
“You won't tell anyone?"
You hear Peter go still for a moment, the weight of your question hanging in the air.
"No, of course not," he answers with quiet certainty, the steadiness in his tone wrapping around you like a warm embrace.
You fall silent, heart pounding, and Peter lets out a deeper sigh, his breath heavy with affection and something tenderly fierce.
"You're so sweet and adorable, fuck."
You honestly think he might be crazy, just days ago, you were throwing slushies at him and calling him limp dick Peter.
He must read your mind, because a small, amused laugh escapes him, light and genuine. "I see through you so easily."
A soft yawn follows, his voice thick with exhaustion and contentment. "I'm just so happy to give you what you want."
You let the silence fully settle between you two, giving yourself time to digest not only his words, but what you'd done, and who you'd done it with.
You still hated Peter to your core. That hadn't changed. But the quiet aftermath, the steady sound of his breathing on the other end of the line, seemed to calm something inside you. The knot twisting in your stomach slowly began to loosen as you stayed there with him, listening to the silence.
Just Peter on the line, with you, and only you.
Maybe you should've, just like he said, done this earlier, asked to see him cry, to hear him cum, to be less nice to others than he was to you. The whole phone call had you convinced he'd comply with anything you asked.
You're about to open your mouth to say something you can't take back when a sudden alarm shatters the quiet.
It's a crime alert from the city, some tentacle guy wreaking havoc and blowing things up.
You hear it crackling through the other side of the line, and Peter stirs in the static, drawing in a sharp breath.
"I should go," he says hesitantly, almost regretfully, and the weight of it settles deep in your stomach.
You want to let out an ironic laugh. Peter Parker was the type to cum and run, you really didn't see that coming.
"Right," you say, the laugh hollow and devoid of any real humor.
Peter senses it instantly, his voice quick to defend.
"Fuck off, Penis Parker." You snap, then hang up without another word.
a/n: hi! I’ve had this one in my drafts for months so it’s been edited to hell for practice, I’d figure I’d debut it here, even tho it’s one of my less favorites. srry if anything looks weird im like rlly trying to figure out how to use tumbler…im an og ao3 writer. let me know any tips. tysm for reading lel
( #SPIDERMAN'S NAME IS . . . JAMES ZHAO !? ) ──── you love getting under your boyf's skin when you openly fangirl over the friendly neighborhood hero, but you don't know he has a few secrets under his sleeve too 🐝💐
# ZHAO YUFAN × FEM!READER ( fluff & humor ) &&. ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP!AU SPIDERMAN!AU SPIDER!JAMES flower shop employee!james kissing nicknames “bee” bc of james' job slight morally grey area over the fangirling 🤣
( 𝓀aikai. ) wow I haven't written for james in a while 💞💞💞 so i really got the idea randomly and I just just just just neeeeeded to write it 🥹🥹🥹🥹 a couple of references that aren't too hard to catch if you're familiar w a lil bit of spidey 💞 JUST OMG SPIDER!JAMES I NEED IT SB SBSBSBSBBSSBSBSB guys tell me I'm the smartest and most genius writer you follow 💞
synopsis: you accidentally slip a love potion into your childhood crush’s drink, will you be able to deal with the outpouring love he was now giving you or would the guilt of it all swallow you whole?
word count: 23.8k
info+warnings: childhoodfriend!keonho, slow burn, fluff + angst, unrequited love themes, a love potion, mentions of loss of grandparents, both are idiots tbh, misunderstandings, awkwardness, cringe-ish??, teen love, wingman seonghyeon, confessions, skinship, flirting, kissing
notes: genuinely locked in the past week to finish this for @cortismoon the chud HAPPY BIRTHDAY BBY I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST MOST AMAZING DAY (getting drunk 💀) I’M SO GLAD TO HAVE MET YOUUU 🫶🫶🫶 ygs don’t know the pep talk she had to give me to not delete this and write a 1k fic instead so u can thank her for that 💔
playlist: black magic - little mix | love me back - fromis_9 | day 1 - red velvet | honey - kara | kiss me - sixpence none the richer | falling for ya - grace phipps | love bomb - fromis_9 | lovefool - the cardigans | i’m in the mood for dancing - yuju | be my baby - the ronettes | kissing you - snsd
The cafeteria smelled of day-old rice and desperation. You stabbed at your kimchi with more force than strictly necessary, half-listening to Yuna ramble on about her cousin's disastrous blind date, but you weren't really paying attention to her anyway. You weren't really there.
Your gaze kept drifting two tables to the left, entirely distracted by the familiar slope of shoulders and the easy way he threw his head back in laughter.
Keonho was laughing at something Seonghyeon had said, his head tilted back just enough that the afternoon light caught the curve of his jaw in a way that made your chest tighten. He had always been beautiful—that wasn't news. What was news was the way your stomach flipped now, like you were fourteen again and just realising that your childhood best friend had grown up.
"—and he actually brought flowers to her mum on the first date, can you believe—Hey. Hey."
You blinked, forcibly dragging your attention back to Yuna. She was snapping her fingers in front of your face, her recently-painted nails clicking inches from your nose.
"Hello? Earth to—" She followed your eyeline, and her whole face transformed into something deeply irritating. Her eyes went wide, her lips curled, and she looked like a cat that had just located the family canary. "Oh my god."
"No."
"You were looking at him."
"I was just zoning out—"
"When are you going to finally ask him out?" The question landed like a slap and you immediately choked on your rice, coughing so hard Yuna had to thump you on the back while trying not to laugh.
"I'm not—we're not—that's not—" You grabbed your water and chugged it, mostly to buy time, mostly to hide the heat that crawled up your neck. "We've literally known each other since we were five. His parents and my parents have a group chat, our mums send each other recipes, Yuna. They have inside jokes about gardening. It would be like asking out my brother."
"Ah yes," she said flatly, stirring her iced coffee with her straw in slow, deliberate circles. "Your brother, who you've been making heart eyes at since middle school. Very sibling energy."
"I don't make heart eyes."
"You make heart eyes more often than you glare at Mr. Park, and that's saying something." She counted on her fingers, ticking each point off with theatrical precision. "Ten times in Maths this morning. Thirteen in gym. Nine in—"
You shoved her and she shoved you back, grinning, and for a moment you thought the interrogation was over. But Yuna was a terrier with a bone; she never let go. It was one of the things you loved about her. It was also, currently, one of the things you wanted to strangle her for.
"You know what you need?" She leaned forward, a strange glint in her eye. "A love potion."
"A what."
"Love potion, just a little bit of magic. Stir it into his drink and boom: he's yours."
You stared at her while the fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting everything in that sickly institutional glow. Yuna just kept looking at you with that particular gleam in her eye that meant she was already halfway to convincing herself this was a good idea. "That's literally witchcraft, and also morally reprehensible, and also not real."
"Obviously it's not real real. But like—" She waved her hands vaguely, stirring the air as if she was conjuring something. "Manifestation. Intent. You know how those online shops sell those little spell kits? My cousin bought one once. Rose quartz, a candle, some oil. She said it worked."
"Your cousin also said she saw a ghost in her bathroom and it turned out to be a shower cap."
"Okay, but the point is—"
"There is no point. There's no such thing as love potions, and even if there were—" You glanced back at Keonho, who was now trying to steal a piece of seaweed from Martin's tray while being swatted away, his laughter bright and unguarded. "I wouldn't want it like that."
Yuna's gaze softened at your words, just slightly. "I know, babe. I'm just saying—it'd be nice if the universe gave you a little push, you know? A sign. Something."
The universe. Right. The universe had given you twelve years of proximity to Keonho and absolutely zero romantic tension. If the universe had a plan, it was apparently to make you an expert on the way his nose crinkled when he sneezed, he always saved the best part of his meals for last, even the exact shade of brown his eyes turned in winter versus summer.
You knew the shape of his handwriting from years of passed notes in class. You knew his mother’s phone number by heart because it was one digit off from your mother’s. You knew he hated mushrooms with a passion that bordered on loathing, that he cried at sad movies but tried to hide it, that he still slept with the same pillow he'd had since middle school even though it was flat as a pancake.
Expertise without application. Completely pointless knowledge.
"I'll get you one," Yuna announced, already pulling out her phone. "A present from me: a little love spell kit. It'll be fun."
"You will do no such thing."
"Too late, decision made." She typed furiously, thumbs moving like she was composing a diplomatic treaty. "Adding to reminders: buy magical supplies for Y/n's tragic crush."
"I'm not tragic—"
"Tragic, pining, same thing." She glanced up, winked. "Love you."
You had hoped that she’d forget about that present, maybe even deep down hoped that she was just joking around and wasn’t seriously considering forcing you into witchcraft, but three weeks later a package arrived at your door. It had no return address, just plain brown wrapping, like she was running a dark web operation instead of an Etsy addiction. Your name was written in her unmistakable handwriting: all rounded letters and too many hearts dotted with little stars.
You brought it to your room, locked the door, and sat on the edge of your bed with the package in your lap. Your heart hammered for reasons you refused to examine. You opened it slowly, revealing an old-looking, intentionally aged book with rough-cut pages that were obviously handmade and a cover soft under your fingers. The title was embossed in gold lettering that caught your bedroom light, flickering as you tilted it:
Practical Magic for the Modern Heart
A post-it note fluttered out, landing on your pillow.
For manifestation purposes only !! obviously it's not REAL real but think of it as *intention* love u !! —Y
You laughed, shaking your head before tossing the book onto your nightstand where it landed with a soft thump. Then, because you were alone and no one could see, you picked it up again. You noticed someone had written notes in the margins: loopy cursive, faded ink, decades old maybe. You ran your finger over the words, wondering who had held this book before you, what they had wanted so badly they had turned to these pages.
"Works best on a Tuesday."
"Add honey if target is stubborn."
"Do NOT skip the rosemary. Trust me on this."
"It worked. It actually worked. I still can't believe it."
That last one made you pause. Your thumb rested on the words, faded blue ink slightly smeared like the writer had been crying, or even laughing, when they wrote it. It was ridiculous, a joke, clearly meant for teenagers playing pretend, the kind of thing you bought for sleepovers and forgot about by morning. You turned to the table of contents anyway.
Chapter 1: On Intention and the Heart's True Desire
Chapter 2: Simple Charms for Daily Life
Chapter 3: Draught of True Affection (The "Love Potion")
Your finger paused over the words, and you found that the potion resided on page 47.
You flipped over to discover the recipe was simple: a cup of milk, a spoonful of strawberry syrup, a pinch of cinnamon. Heat until warm but not boiling, stir three times clockwise while speaking the target's name aloud. Pour over ice if desired. Below the ingredients, in smaller text:
"Whosoever drinks this draught shall fall in love with the first soul their eyes rest upon. Duration varies based on depth of feeling—three weeks if affection is shallow, up to ten months if roots run deep. Cannot override free will. Side effects may include heightened affection, honesty, and longing."
There was more text at the bottom of the page—smaller still, almost like a footnote—but you were already flipping ahead, scanning other recipes, other charms. The footnote blazed past, unread, unnoticed.
Eventually you closed the book and shifted to stare at the ceiling, letting out a sigh in defeat.
The thing was, you would never actually do it. Obviously. It wasn't real, you weren't a child, you didn't even believe in magic. You believed in hard work and timing and the cruel science of unrequited feelings. You believed that if something hadn't happened in twelve years, it probably wasn't going to happen at all. But late that night, with the book on your chest and your room dark around you, you let yourself imagine for just a second if it worked.
If Keonho would look at you and see you, really see you, the way you had been seeing him for years. If all this time, all this wanting, could finally land somewhere real.
And then—what if it wore off?
The thought landed like a stone in your stomach because that was the thing, wasn't it? Even in fantasy, you couldn't win. If it worked, it wouldn't be real, and if it didn't work, nothing would change. Either way, you were exactly where you had started: on the outside, looking in. The safe friend who was always there in the background.
You set the book on your nightstand, rolled over, and closed your eyes. "It's not real," you whispered to the darkness. The lie tasted sweet going down.
The book stayed on your nightstand for three days. You told yourself you had forgotten about it and it was just another thing taking up space, like the half-finished novels and the hair ties you kept meaning to organise beside the polaroid of you and Yuna at the beach last summer. But every night, when you turned off your lamp, your eyes found it in the dark.
The gold lettering caught even the barest light from your window: streetlamp glow, moonlight, the distant flicker from the headlights of a car passing by. ‘Practical Magic for the Modern Heart’. The words seemed to float there, suspended in shadow.
On Thursday, you picked it up again just to look and laugh at it one more time. You were in bed, wearing the oversized t-shirt you had stolen from your dad years ago, your hair still damp from your shower. You opened to the recipe again and read the ingredients slowly, like they might reveal something new if you stared at them longer.
Milk. Strawberry syrup. Cinnamon.
That was it, that was the whole spell. Grocery store ingredients—things you already had in your kitchen. You could have made it right then, if you had wanted to. It was 11:47 PM, your parents were asleep, and you knew exactly where your mum kept the cinnamon. You flipped to a different page instead.
Chapter 4: Charm for Courage Before Difficult Conversations
Light a white candle at dawn. Write what you fear on a piece of paper, then fold it three times toward you. Burn it in a fireproof dish while saying—
You skipped ahead.
Chapter 7: Simple Protective Ward for Bedroom
Hang a small mirror facing the door. Place dried rosemary in each corner. Speak your name aloud three times before sleeping—
You skipped again.
Chapter 12: On Recognising What Already Belongs to You
Often the heart's truest desire is not something we need to seek, but something we need to see. Look at what is already in front of you. Look at what has always been in front of you. The magic was never in the finding—
You closed the book. Your heart was doing something strange: a flutter, a stutter, something you didn't want to examine.
Look at what has always been in front of you.
Keonho had always been in front of you. For twelve years, he had been there: at your birthday parties, at your dinner table, in the passenger seat of your mum's car on the way to school when your families had carpooled. He had been the constant, the background, the given.
The thing you had stopped noticing because it was always there. Except you had noticed—you had always noticed—that was the problem.
You shoved the book under your pillow like it might bite you. It didn't. It just sat there, soft and patient, waiting for you to be ready.
—
Friday passed in a blur. You saw Keonho at lunch, wearing a grey sweater you had seen a hundred times, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. You noticed the way his wrist moved when he reached for his water bottle, you noticed the veins in his forearm, you noticed that you were noticing, and you wanted to crawl under the table and die.
"You're quiet today," he said suddenly.
You looked up to find him watching you with that slight tilt to his head that meant he was actually paying attention, actually curious.
"Just tired."
"Me too." He stretched, rolling his shoulders. "Seonghyeon kept me up late playing that new game. You know the one—"
And just like that, he was off, telling you about levels and bosses and strategies you forgot immediately because you were too busy watching the way his mouth moved when he talked. You were pathetic—you knew you were pathetic—but knowing didn't stop it.
After school, you walked home alone. You took the long way, past the park where you used to play with Keonho as kids and your mums would sit on the bench to gossip while you raced each other to the top of the slide.
You sat on the swings, pushing yourself gently back and forth, watching the sky turn orange.
Twelve years. Twelve years of friendship, and somewhere along the way, you had crossed a line without meaning to or even noticing until it was too late to go back.
When had it happened? Had there been a specific moment? A specific day when you had looked at him and thought oh instead of oh, it's just Keonho?
You tried to remember. Maybe it had been freshman year, when your grandmother had died and he had shown up at your door with the terrible cookies he had tried to bake himself—still warm, slightly burnt on the bottom—and had sat with you for hours without saying a word. Maybe it had been junior year, when you had got into that stupid fight with Yuna and he had taken your side without even asking what had happened, just said "well, if you're upset, there must be a reason." Maybe it had been earlier, maybe it had always been.
You swung higher, letting the motion blur the edges of your thoughts.
Saturday morning, your mother woke you at 8 AM.
"Your father and I are going to the Ahns' for lunch," she said, already dressed, already holding her purse. "We'll be back by four. There's leftovers in the fridge."
You mumbled something that might have been "okay" and pulled the covers over your head, hearing the front door close and their footsteps fade down the street. You eventually got up at 9:30 and made coffee that burned your tongue on the first sip.
The book was still there, as it had been the past few days. You told yourself you weren't thinking about it. You were just having a normal Saturday alone in your house, with nothing particular on your mind.
You showered, ate leftovers, scrolled through your phone without really seeing anything. At 11 AM, you were back in your room with the book open in your hands again. The recipe stared back at you, innocent as anything. Just words on paper; just a list of ingredients; justa joke from your best friend who loved you and wanted you to be happy.
Milk. Strawberry syrup. Cinnamon.
You had all of those things, you could have made it right then. Not to use—just to see if it worked and what happened when you followed the instructions. It wasn't like you would actually give it to anyone. It wasn't like you actually believed—
You were already walking to the kitchen. You grabbed the ingredients from their respective shelves and set everything on the counter. The book was open beside you, propped against the salt shaker.
Heat until warm but not boiling.
You poured the milk into a small pot, turned the stove on medium, and watched the surface begin to shimmer.
Add strawberry syrup.
You measured with your heart instead of a spoon. Two tablespoons? Three? It didn't matter. It wasn't real
Add a pinch of cinnamon.
The smell was immediate: warm, sweet, familiar. It smelled like autumn, like the fair, like the time you and Keonho had split a churro and he had got powdered sugar on his nose and you had laughed so hard you had cried.
Stir three times clockwise while speaking the target's name aloud.
Your hand closed around the spoon.
One. Two. Three.
"Keonho."
His name hung in the steam. The milk swirled, caught the light, looked for a moment like something more than milk. Then it settled, ordinary again, just a pot of warm pink liquid on your stove.
You turned off the heat and let it sit to cool for a few minutes. Then you poured it into a spare milk carton: one you had saved from last week, washed out and waiting. It looked exactly like the regular milk cartons in your fridge. You slid it onto the shelf next to the real milk, closed the fridge door and stood there for a long moment, heart pounding, hands shaking.
You told yourself that it wasn’t real, that it was just milk and that you’d pour it out later… matter of fact, you’ll pour it out right now—
The doorbell rang and you froze. You glanced at the clock to see it was almost noon. Your parents wouldn't be back for hours.
The doorbell rang again.
You wiped your hands on your jeans, took a breath, and walked to the front door. When you opened it, Keonho was standing there in the afternoon light, slightly out of breath like he had walked fast, his hair messy and his smile easy. "Oh," you said. "Hey."
"Hey." He shifted on his feet, shoved his hands in his pockets. "So this is gonna sound random, but our dads are deep in conversation and your mum realised she forgot the toolbox your dad was supposed to bring for the table my dad is fixing? And neither of them wanted to pause the story about—" He made a vague gesture. "Honestly, I stopped listening, but they sent me to grab it."
You laughed at his explanation. "Come in," you said, stepping aside. "It's in the garage."
He toed off his shoes automatically—twelve years of friendship meant his body knew the routine better than his brain did. You led him through the house, past the living room, past the kitchen, to the garage door.
"The toolbox is... somewhere." You scanned the cluttered shelves. "My dad's organisation system is chaos."
"Some things never change." Keonho moved past you, scanning the garage with the familiarity of someone who had been here a hundred times. "I think I see it. Back corner?"
You followed his gaze. "Yeah, that looks right."
He weaved through the clutter, grabbed the heavy metal box, hefted it in his arms. "Got it."
You walked back through the house together. At the kitchen, he paused for a moment. "Something smells good."
You froze for half a second, inhaling to find the cinnamon still lingering in the air.
"Oh, I was just—" You scrambled for an explanation. "Baking. Earlier. Well, not baking, just—cinnamon. For the smell."
He raised an eyebrow, amused. "You just... made your house smell like cinnamon for fun."
"Yes."
"Okay." He was smiling now, that easy smile that did something complicated to your chest. "That's very you, actually."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're the type of person who would make her house smell good just because she can." He shifted the toolbox in his arms. "It's nice."
Your face warmed and you looked away. "Do you want something to drink?" The words came out before you had thought about them. "Before you head back? You walked here, right?"
"Yeah, it's not too far." But he didn't say no. He was still standing there, not in a hurry, comfortable in your space like he had always been.
"Coffee?" You offered. "I just made a pot yesterday. It's still fresh."
"Coffee sounds great."
You turned to the kitchen, moving automatically through the familiar routine. You grabbed his favourite blur mug from the cabinet that he always used when he was here, not that you had noticed, not that you had kept track. "Still one sugar, right?"
"Yeah." There was something in his voice. When you glanced back, he was watching you with an expression you couldn't quite read. "You remember."
"Twelve years," you said lightly. "Hard to forget."
You went into autopilot and opened the fridge for the milk. Your hand reached in, grabbing the first carton without truly looking at it. You poured a splash into his coffee, stirred, and handed it over. He took it, sipped, and nodded approvingly. "Good coffee," he said. "Your coffee's always better than mine."
"It's the same beans."
"It's not the beans." He sipped again, then looked at you over the rim of the mug, eyes warm. "It's the maker."
You laughed, attempting to suppress the blush that was dusting your cheeks.
He finished his coffee while you leaned against the counter, talking about nothing: his mum's new obsession with gardening, your failed attempt to keep a succulent alive, Seonghyeon's terrible singing voice and Yuna's latest theory about the maths teacher's secret life. Finally, he set the mug in the sink. "I should get this back before they send a search party." He lifted the toolbox. "Thanks for the coffee."
"Anytime."
At the door, he paused and looked back at you. "Hey," he said. "I'm glad you were home."
Then he was gone, walking down your front path with the toolbox in his arms, and you were leaning against the door, telling yourself not to read into things.
You went back to the kitchen, opened the fridge to put away the milk, and stopped. The carton in your hand—the one you had just used—was wrong. It was the spare carton, the one you had poured the potion into that was supposed to be at the back, behind the real milk, waiting for you to pour it out. But it wasn't at the back. Your stupid self had forgotten to push it back. You stared at it in your hand. Your mind replayed the previous moments events: the coffee, his coffee, the milk you had poured into it.
No.
You checked the fridge. The real milk carton was there, pushed to the back, untouched.
No, no, no.
You set the potion carton on the counter, stepped back, and stared at it like it might explain itself. Your mind raced back through the last twenty minutes. You had opened the fridge, grabbed the first carton and hadn't looked at all.
Keonho drank the potion.
The realisation hit you as you pressed your hands to your face, breathed, and tried to think. It was fine, it wasn't real—love potions weren't real. Nothing was going to happen. He was going to go home and nothing would change and you would pour this stupid milk down the sink and never speak of this again.
Right?
You poured the rest of the potion down the drain, watched the pink liquid swirl away, washed the carton and threw it in the recycling. Then you went to your room, shoved the book under your mattress, and tried very hard to forget the way he had looked at you when he said I'm glad you were home.
Monday morning arrived excruciatingly slowly, with you spending the previous day on a mental spiral questioning your dignity.
You got ready on autopilot—uniform, bag, lunch, phone—and headed for the door without paying much attention to anything but the recurring scene of Keonho drinking the potion.
"You're leaving early!" Your mother called after you.
"I know!" You didn't know why you were leaving early, you just couldn't stay in that house one more minute.
The air was cool and damp, smelled like rain. You walked fast, hoping the movement would shake the restlessness from your bones. You were halfway down your street when you saw Keonho was standing at the corner waiting.
You stopped walking immediately.
He was in his uniform, bag slung over one shoulder, hands in his pockets. His hair was slightly damp—likely showered right before he had left his house—and when he saw you, his face brightened. "Hey," he called, walking toward you.
You stood frozen. "What are you doing here?"
He reached you, fell into step beside you like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Walking to school."
"You live the other way."
"I know." He shrugged, easy, like he hadn't just reversed his entire morning route. "Woke up early and thought I'd see if you wanted company."
You stared at him. You hadn't walked to school together since you were ten. That was the year everything had shifted: him starting practice earlier, you sleeping in later, and the morning walks had stopped without either of you noticing.
"Company," you repeated.
"Yeah." He glanced at you, quick, then looked ahead. "Unless you don't want it. I can—"
"No, I—" You cleared your throat. "No, it's fine. Company is fine."
He smiled and you began walking, your footsteps falling into rhythm without either of you trying. "You're quiet," he said after a minute.
"So are you."
"Touché." He kicked a pebble, watched it skip across the sidewalk. "Did you have a good weekend?"
The question landed like a stone in your stomach as your mind instantly replayed the very moment you messed up. "Fine," you managed. "You?"
"Fine." Another pause. "Saturday was nice, though. Just hanging out, felt like old times."
"Yeah," you said after a moment. "It was nice."
He looked at you then and his eyes were warm in the grey light, searching for something you weren't sure you wanted him to find. "You seem tired," he said.
"Didn't sleep well."
"Me neither."
You wanted to ask why, you wanted to know if he had lain awake thinking about Saturday the way you had, but you were too afraid of the answer. So you walked in silence instead.
The rest of the walk passed in small talk. Nothing important. Nothing that mattered. But your shoulder kept brushing his, and neither of you moved away, and by the time you reached the school gates, your heart was doing something complicated in your chest.
The hallway was chaos when you arrived. Students shoved past, lockers slammed, someone was yelling about a test they had forgotten to study for; normal Monday chaos. You headed for your locker, already spinning the combination, when you realised Keonho was still beside you. He was leaning against the locker next to yours, arms crossed, watching the crowd with an expression you couldn't read. "You have first period with Yuna, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, history."
"Lucky." He tilted his head, considering. "I have maths with Mr. Park. The man has a personal vendetta against me."
You laughed despite yourself. "He just hates everyone equally."
"Small comfort when you're failing his pop quizzes." He was smiling, easy and comfortable, and he made no move to leave. You swapped your books, hyperaware of his presence beside you: the way his sleeve brushed yours when he shifted, and how he was looking at you when you glanced up.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Fine. Just tired."
"Right, you said that." He paused. "Hey, do you want to—"
"Hey!"
You both turned to see Yuna striding toward you, bag bouncing against her hip, her expression shifting from cheerful to sharply curious as she took in the scene. You, Keonho, leaning against lockers like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Her eyes narrowed, just slightly. "Good morning," she said, drawing the words out. Her gaze flicked between you and Keonho. "Am I interrupting something?"
"No," you said quickly. "Keonho just walked me to school."
"Walked you to school." Yuna's eyebrows rose. "From your house? That's two streets in the opposite direction from his..."
"I was up early," Keonho said, easy as anything. "Thought I'd get some steps in."
Yuna hummed, unconvinced, before turning to look at you.
You shook your head—just slightly, barely a movement at all, but Yuna caught it, and something in her expression shifted. "Well," she said brightly, looping her arm through yours, "we should probably head to class, don't want to be late for history, right?" She tugged you gently away from the lockers. "See you later, Keonho."
He nodded, pushed off the locker. "See you."
You let Yuna drag you down the hallway, your heart pounding, your skin still warm where his shoulder had brushed yours. As soon as you were around the corner, Yuna stopped walking. "What," she said flatly, "was that?"
"Nothing."
"That was not nothing. That was Keonho waiting for you at your locker after walking you to school from the opposite direction." She counted on her fingers. "That's three things. Three things that are not nothing."
"It's not—" You lowered your voice as a group of students passed. "It's not what you think."
"Then what is it?"
You opened your mouth for a moment before instantaneously closing it, thinking it best not be said in a crowd of students. "I'll tell you at lunch," you said instead.
Yuna studied you for a long moment, then she nodded once and started walking again. "Lunch," she agreed. "You're not getting out of this."
You then spent the entire morning distracted, your notes a mess of half-finished sentences and doodles you didn't remember making. The clock crawled, the teacher's voice faded in and out.
When the bell finally rang, you were out of your seat before anyone else. Yuna was already at your usual table when you arrived, and nearly jumped out of her seat at your appearance. "Okay," she said. "Spill."
You looked around as you lowered yourself onto the chair. The cafeteria was noisy, crowded, full of people; no one was paying attention to you. "I made it."
Yuna blinked. "Made what?"
"The potion from the book." The words came out fast, jumbled. "The love potion. I made it on Saturday just to see if it worked, just as a joke. I wasn't going to actually use it. I was going to pour it out—"
"You made the potion?"
"But then Keonho showed up. His parents sent him to get my dad's toolbox, and I offered him coffee, and I—" You pressed your hands to your face. "I grabbed the wrong milk. I wasn't thinking. I just grabbed the first carton and poured it into his coffee and he drank it, Yuna."
Silence followed as you lowered your hands. Yuna was staring at you. Her expression was unreadable—a rarity for her, she was usually an open book. "You're telling me," she said slowly, "that you accidentally fed Keonho a love potion."
"Yes."
"And now he's walking you to school from the opposite direction and waiting at your locker like a lost puppy."
"Yes."
"And you think—" She paused, processed. "You think it's working."
"I don't know what I think." Your voice cracked. "I don't know if it's real. I don't know if it's the potion or if it's just—" You gestured vaguely. "Him being him. I don't know anything."
Yuna was quiet for a long moment, then she leaned forward, elbows on the table. "Okay," she said. "First of all, breathe. You're going to pass out."
You breathed a sigh. "Second of all—" She lowered her voice, matched your volume. "The book. Did you read the whole thing? All the instructions?"
"I read the recipe. That's it."
"There's more? Like, warnings? Side effects? Duration?"
"Duration is three weeks to ten months. Depending on—" You stopped. "Depending on depth of feeling."
Yuna's eyes narrowed. "Depending on depth of feeling?"
"That's what it said."
"So if he already—" She stopped herself. Shook her head. "Okay. Okay. So worst case scenario, this lasts three weeks and then wears off. Best case scenario—"
"I don't want to think about best case scenario."
"Why not?"
"Because if it's the potion, it's not real. Any of it. The walking to school, the way he looks at me, all of it—it's fake. It's magic. It's not him choosing me, it's him being controlled." Your voice shook. "And if it's not the potion—if he actually—" You couldn't finish the sentence.
Yuna reached across the table, took your hand. "Hey," she said softly. "Look at me."
You glanced up at her. "Whatever is happening," she said, "you didn't mean for this to happen. It was an accident. You're not a bad person for making a stupid joke that went wrong."
"But if he—"
"Let's not borrow trouble, okay?" She squeezed your hand. "We don't know anything yet. Maybe he's just being friendly and nothing's changed and you're spiralling over nothing."
You wanted to believe her. "But the walk—" you started.
"Could be coincidence; could be he really was up early; could be a hundred things that aren't the potion." She leaned back, released your hand. "You need to watch and pay attention, see if there's a pattern before you freak out."
You nodded, because nodding was easier than talking at the moment and you felt like the guilt was going to consume you whole.
Yuna squeezed your arm. "It's going to be okay, we'll figure it out."
You wanted to believe her, you really did, but deep down there was a part of you telling yourself that you had created a much bigger problem for yourself.
By the time the final bell rang at the end of the day, you were exhausted. You packed your bag slowly, letting the crowd thin out. Yuna had tutoring, so you were alone. Which was fine—good, even. You needed the walk home to clear your head, to breathe, to remind yourself that you weren't losing your mind.
You headed for the gates. The afternoon air was cool, still grey, still threatening rain that never seemed to arrive. Students streamed past you in both directions, voices overlapping, laughter and complaints and the general noise of a school day ending.
You were barely through the gate when you heard your name being called from behind. You turned to see Keonho jogging toward you, bag bouncing against his back, slightly out of breath. His hair was messy—windblown, or maybe he had run his hands through it one too many times—and when he reached you, he was smiling gently. "Hey," he said, a little breathless. "You left fast."
"I—" You blinked. "Class ended."
"Yeah, but—" He shrugged, shoved his hands in his pockets. "I was going to see if you wanted to walk home together. Since we're both heading the same way."
You paused, looking up at him. "Practice?" You asked.
"Cancelled, coach is still sick." He fell into step beside you as you started walking, like it was already decided that he’d be by your side. "Lucky start to the week, I guess."
The streets were quieter now, most students already gone leaving just you and Keonho walking down the paths. "How was the rest of your day?" He asked.
"Fine, boring, you know how Mondays are."
"Yeah." He nodded. "Maths was brutal. Mr. Park gave us a surprise quiz. I think I failed."
"You never fail."
"There's a first time for everything." He glanced at you, quick. "You'd help me study, right? If I need it?"
"Since when do you need help studying?"
"Since Mr. Park decided to test on chapters we haven't covered yet." He groaned, but there was humour in it. "The man is sadistic."
You laughed at how he was so earnest about it, so genuinely frustrated, and somehow that made it funny. "There's my favourite sound," he said softly.
You stopped laughing immediately, eyes widening at his words. He had said it quietly, almost to himself, like he hadn't meant to say it out loud, and hen you looked at him you discovered his ears were pink. "What?" You managed.
"Nothing." He was looking straight ahead, jaw tight. "Forget I said that."
You walked in silence for a minute, your heart pounding. Your shoulder brushed his but neither of you moved away. "Hey," he said eventually. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
He was quiet for a moment, like he was choosing his words carefully. "Do you ever think about—" He stopped before starting again. "When we were kids, we used to do everything together. Walk to school, hang out after, all of it, and then somewhere along the way, we just... stopped."
You didn't know what to say. It was true—you knew it was true—but hearing him say it out loud felt different. "I think about it sometimes," he continued. "Like, when did we stop? Was there a specific day? A specific moment? Or did it just happen so slowly we didn't notice?"
"I don't know," you admitted.
"Me neither." He kicked a pebble, watched it skip. "But I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Since Saturday, actually."
Your stomach dropped. "Saturday?"
"Yeah." He glanced at you, then away. "Just hanging out at your house and talking. It felt like old times. Like before everything got... I don't know, complicated."
"Things don't have to be complicated," you heard yourself say.
He looked at you, his warm eyes searching your own whilst his lips curved into a soft smile. "Maybe they don't," he said quietly. You held his gaze for a seconds before looking away because it was too much. He was too much.
When you reached your house, you stopped at the end of the driveway, his movements mirroring your own. "Thanks for walking me home," you said.
"Thanks for letting me." He still had his hands in his pockets, still slightly dishevelled, still looking at you like you were something worth looking at. "Same time tomorrow?"
Your heart stuttered. "Tomorrow?"
"Morning walk." He shrugged, easy. "If you want. I could meet you at your corner, just like this morning."
You should have said no, should have created distance, should have protected yourself from whatever this was, whatever it might become. "Okay," you said. "Tomorrow."
He smiled that slow, genuine smile that started in his eyes and spread outward. "See you then."
He turned and walked away. You watched him until he disappeared around the corner. Inside, you leaned against the front door and pressed your hand to your chest. Your heart was pounding, your skin was warm, your mind was a mess of contradictions and you didn't have an answer.
"You're early," you said, emerging from your front door to see him standing at the same corner with the same strange look in his eyes.
"You're late." But he was smiling when he said it, falling into step beside you like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Rough night?"
You hadn't slept well again. The guilt was a living thing now, coiled in your chest, waking you at 3 AM with its cold little fingers. "Fine," you lied.
He looked at you for just a second too long before nodding and dropping it, allowing you to believe that was the end of it. "Hey," he said, casual, like it was nothing. "You should have lunch with us today."
You stumbled suddenly, your foot catching on a crack in the pavement. He reached out, steadying you with a hand on your elbow that sent a jolt through your entire body. "Whoa. You okay?"
"Yeah, I—" You righted yourself, face warm. "What did you say?"
"Lunch." He shrugged, easy. "With me and the others. Seonghyeon's been asking where you've been anyway, says you used to hang out with us more."
Used to. Before you had started pulling away because the crush had become too loud to ignore. "I usually eat with Yuna," you said weakly.
"She can come too. The more the merrier." He glanced at you, hopeful. "Unless you don't want to. That's cool too. I just thought—" He shrugged again. "Never mind."
"No, I—" The words came out before you could stop them. "I'll come today, I'll have lunch with you."
He brightened at your words, smile widening. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Cool," he said, turning his gaze away from your own and nodding to himself almost pridefully. "Cool. I'll save you a seat."
You walked the rest of the way in a daze. When you reached school, he walked you all the way to your locker, leaning against the one next to yours as students rushed past in the crowded hallway.
"I should probably—" He gestured vaguely toward the other hallway. "Seonghyeon will kill me if I'm late again, but I'll see you at lunch, yeah?"
"Yeah. Lunch."
He pushed off the locker, took two steps, then turned back. "Y/n." He waited until you looked at him. "I'm glad you're coming. I've missed you eating lunch with us."
Then he was gone, disappearing into the stream of students. You stared after him until someone bumped into you and muttered an apology.
"You have got to be kidding me." You turned to see Yuna standing three feet away, arms crossed, expression caught between amusement and concern. She was watching the hallway where Keonho had disappeared.
"How much of that did you see?"
"All of it." She walked over, fell into step beside you as you finally started moving toward class. "The walk in, the locker lean like we’re in some American movie, the I'm glad you're coming." She air-quoted dramatically. "What was that?"
"He invited me to lunch with his friends."
"He what?"
"I said yes."
Yuna stopped walking. "You said yes?"
"What was I supposed to say? No?" You kept walking, forcing her to catch up. "He looked at me like—like it mattered, like me saying yes actually mattered to him."
"Because of the potion."
"Probably." The word tasted bitter. "But I couldn't just—" You shook your head. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore."
Yuna was quiet for a moment. "Okay," she said finally. "I'll be there at lunch as moral support."
"You don't have to—"
"I'll be there." She squeezed your arm. "Someone needs to make sure you don't pass out from nerves."
You laughed despite yourself. "Thanks."
"Always."
Lunch was chaos, as usual. You spotted them immediately: your usual table was fuller now, Seonghyeon and Martin and a few others you recognised from class. Keonho was sitting at the end, the seat beside him conspicuously empty.
He saw you before you reached them and waved you over. "Here," he said, gesturing to the seat. "Saved it for you."
You sat beside him and Yuna slid into the seat across from you, next to Martin, who greeted her with a surprised but pleased smile.
"You came!" Seonghyeon grinned at you. "Keonho's been talking about it all morning. 'Do you think she'll actually show? What if she changes her mind? What if—'"
"Seonghyeon." Keonho's voice was flat, but his ears were pink. "Shut up."
"What? I'm just saying—"
"Don't."
Seonghyeon held up his hands, still grinning, but dropped it. You looked down at your tray, face warm at the exchange. The conversation flowed around you: something about a teacher, a test, a party next weekend. You half-listened, mostly focusing on your food. You were so focused on not looking at Keonho that you almost missed the movement beside you, You glanced over and noticed Keonho was transferring rice from his tray onto yours, spoonful by spoonful. "What are you—" you started.
"You like the rice more than the kimchi," he said simply. "I've seen you. You always eat the rice first, pick at the kimchi, and leave half of it. And you're stressed today—you've barely touched anything." He nudged the now-larger pile of rice toward you. "Eat."
You stared at him. He shrugged, picked up his own chopsticks, and started eating like he hadn't just done something that completely rearranged your internal organs.
You looked down at your tray covered with extra rice, and if your face wasn’t already burning it was now raging. You glanced up and met Yuna's eyes across the table. She was watching you both with an expression that was carefully neutral, but her eyebrows were slowly climbing toward her hairline. You looked away quickly, focusing on your rice and trying to pretend that what Keonho was doing was entirely normal
After lunch, Yuna grabbed your arm the second you were out of earshot. "Did you see that?" She hissed. "Did you see that?"
"Of course I saw it."
"He gave you his rice, his rice, because he noticed you like rice more than kimchi." She was practically vibrating. "That's not normal, that's not even a little normal!"
"I know."
"That's the kind of thing you do when you've been watching someone. When you pay attention to what they like and don't like and—" She stopped, took a breath. "The potion doesn't create information, it doesn't give him memories of you liking rice. That's him. That's him noticing things about you long before Saturday."
You hadn't thought or even considered any of that. "I don't know what to do," you admitted after a moment
Yuna squeezed your arm. "Neither do I. But maybe—" She hesitated. "Maybe it's not as fake as you think."
You couldn't focus the rest of the day. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw him putting rice on your plate and heard him telling you to eat like it was the most natural thing in the world.
When the final bell rang, you packed your bag on autopilot and rushed out, pushing past the barrage of students to find Keonho leaning against the gate, bag at his feet, scrolling through his phone. When he saw you, he straightened, shoved his phone in his pocket, and smiled. "Hey."
"Hey." You reached him, fell into step beside him automatically. "No practice?"
"Cancelled." He grinned. "Coach is still sick, lucky me."
"Lucky you?"
"Lucky me." He glanced at you, warm. "Get to walk you home again."
You didn't know what to say to that so you simply kept your mouth closed. The walk started in comfortable silence. You passed the park, the convenience store, the house with the garden that was always overgrown. "I failed my chemistry quiz." You finally spoke after a moment, the silence feeling too heavy to continue.
He glanced at you. "What?"
"Chemistry; Mrs. Kim's class. We had a quiz on Friday and I got it back today and I—" You waved your hands, frustrated. "I just don't get it. The equations, the formulas, all of it. It's like everyone else understands something I'm not seeing. I study and I study and it just—" Your hands were waving more now, illustrating your frustration. "Doesn't stick. It's like trying to hold water. I read the same page five times and nothing—"
A hand closed around your wrist that felt far too gentle and warm. You stopped walking, stopped talking, stopped breathing. Keonho had stopped too. His hand was wrapped around your wrist, thumb resting against the inside where your pulse was suddenly, embarrassingly loud. He was looking at you—not at your waving hands, not at the street ahead, but at you. "You're going to take off," he said quietly.
"What?"
"Your hands. They were going to take off without the rest of you." A small smile. "You wave your hands around when you're stressed, I've noticed." He was still holding your wrist as neither of you had moved, his words repeating in your mind like a broken record. "I can help," he said.
"Help?"
"With chemistry. I'm decent at it. Not amazing, but decent." He shrugged with one shoulder, the other arm still extended, hand still around your wrist. "I could tutor you after school if you want."
"You—" You swallowed. "You have practice. When your coach comes back—"
"Not on Thursdays." He cut you off gently. "Coach reserves Thursdays for recovery or something. I don't really know, I just know I don't have practice. So we could—" He paused. "Walk home together on Thursdays to my house. My parents won't be home and I can help you study."
"That's—" Your voice came out strange and you cleared your throat. "That's a lot. You don't have to—"
"I know I don't have to." His thumb moved just slightly against your wrist, a whisper of contact. "I want to."
The world narrowed to that point of contact: his skin on yours, the warmth of it, the way he was looking at you like you were the only person on the street. "Okay," you heard yourself say.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Thursdays… Chemistry." You nodded, not trusting your voice.
He smiled and released your wrist, the ghost of his hand remaining there for the rest of the walk home. At your driveway, he stopped. "We’ll walk to my house from school on Thursday," he said.
"Okay," you answered.
He hesitated, like he wanted to say something else, then he shook his head, smiled, and turned away. "See you tomorrow morning," he called over his shoulder.
"See you."
Thursday arrived quickly because time didn't care that you weren't ready. You were at your locker after school, pretending to organise your bag, when you heard his voice.
"You ready?" Keonho was leaning against the locker next to yours when you turned to look at him, bag slung over one shoulder, hair slightly messy. He had changed out of his uniform into that same grey sweater he always seemed to have at hand.
"You changed," you said, then immediately wanted to disappear.
He glanced down at himself, then back at you. "Yeah. Well—" He shrugged. "They’re just... comfortable clothes. Is that weird?"
"No. No, it's—" You closed your locker, probably harder than necessary. "It's fine, I’m ready."
He pushed off the locker, fell into step beside you. "You okay? You seem nervous."
"I'm not—" You were, you were so nervous your mind was running at a thousand miles per second. "I'm fine."
"Right." He held the door open for you, and you stepped outside into the late afternoon light. "Don't worry about chemistry. I'm a good teacher."
"You've never taught anyone anything."
"I taught Seonghyeon how to tie his shoes in fourth grade."
"That's not—" You laughed despite yourself. "That's not the same."
"It's teaching, it counts." He was smiling, pleased to have made you laugh. "Anyway, I'm pretty sure you're smarter than Seonghyeon. You'll pick it up faster."
The route to his house was the same as yours, just required you to take a turn two streets earlier. You had walked it a thousand times over the years: birthday parties, dinner invites, the time your mums had decided you should make cookies together and you had somehow ended up with flour in your hair and he had laughed so hard he had cried. But it had been a while since you had been inside his home just for him. "You said your parents aren't home?" You asked, trying to sound casual.
"Yeah, my mum has this thing—some book club thing? And my dad's working late." He glanced at you. "Don't worry, I'm allowed to have people over. It's not weird."
"I know it's not weird."
"It's just studying."
"Yeah. Studying."
He gave you a look but didn't push and after a few more moments you reached his house. It was a small two-storey, paint slightly faded, garden overgrown in that way that meant his mum kept meaning to deal with it. You had been here so many times you could probably navigate it blindfolded. He unlocked the door, held it open for you. "Welcome," he said as you stepped inside.
You ended up in the living room instead of his room. He had offered—"my room's a mess, but we can go up there if you want"—and you had both paused, the words hanging in the air a beat too long before you had said "living room's fine" and he had nodded maybe too quickly.
You sat on one end of the couch, textbooks spread on the coffee table. He sat on the other end, close enough that you could have reached out and touched him if you had wanted. "Okay," he said, pulling your failed quiz toward him. "Show me what you don't understand."
"Everything."
"Specifics help."
You gestured at the page. "This. All of this. I look at it and my brain just—" You made a static noise. "Nothing, it’s blank."
He nodded like this made sense. "Okay. We'll start with the basics then and build up."
He then spent the next hour slowly and patiently explaining, breaking things down until they were small enough to hold, and somehow—miraculously—it started to make some sense. "Like that?" He asked after a while.
You looked at the problem you had just solved on your own with utter surprise. "I think—" You blinked. "I think I get it."
"Told you." He was smiling, warm and pleased. "You're smart, you just needed it explained differently."
You looked up at him to see he was closer than you had realised. At some point during the explanation, he had shifted closer, leaning over the coffee table to point at your notebook. Now he was near enough that you could see the small mole on his cheek, the one you had noticed a thousand times but never been this close to. "Thanks," you said quietly.
"Don't thank me, you did the work."
"But you—" You gestured vaguely. "You're helping a lot. I've been stuck on this for weeks."
He shrugged, easy. "I like helping you." You looked away, face warm at him words "Can I ask you something?" He questioned.
"Sure."
He was quiet for a moment. "Have I done something wrong lately?"
Your head snapped up. "What? No. Why would you think that?"
"I don't know." He wasn't looking at you now, focused on his mug. "You just seem... different around me, like you're waiting or bracing for something." He glanced up, quick. "If I've been weird, I'm sorry. I just—" He stopped. Shook his head. "Never mind."
"No, tell me."
He hesitated. "I've been thinking about us a lot lately, about how we used to be." He traced the rim of his mug with his thumb. "And I don't know, I guess I just... missed you. Before any of this, before this week, I missed you and I didn't even realise it until you were right there again."
The words settled somewhere deep inside you. "Keonho—"
"I know that sounds stupid. You've been here the whole time and we see each other every day." He laughed, self-deprecating. "But it's different now: walking to school, sitting together. Just—" He gestured between you. "This. It feels like before when we were kids and everything was simple."
"It doesn't have to be different now," you heard yourself say.
He looked at you and paused for a moment. "Maybe it doesn't," he said quietly.
The silence stretched and held until you snapped out of your staring, breaking eye contact. "I should—" You glanced at your bag. "I should probably go before it gets dark."
He nodded, but there was something in his expression: disappointment, maybe, or just reluctance. "Yeah, of course." He stood, walked you to the door. "Same time next week?"
"If you're sure you want to—"
"I want to." He answered firmly. "I told you, I like helping you."
At the door, you paused. "Thanks," you said again. "For today and all of it."
He smiled warmly. "Anytime."
You walked home alone, your heart pounding, your mind replaying every word.
Thursday came again. You had spent the entire week alternating between dreading it and counting down to it. Seven days of morning walks and lunchtime seats and afternoon conversations that felt normal and charged all at once. Seven days of not knowing what any of it meant.
"You're quiet," he observed as you walked beside him down the familiar path.
"I’m thinking."
"About?"
You glanced at him. He was watching the pavement ahead, but there was a small smile at the corner of his mouth. "Chemistry," you lied.
"Uh-huh." He didn't believe you but he also didn't push—he never pushed. He just waited patiently until you were ready.
You weren't entirely sure you would ever be ready.
His house was empty again when you arrived. He led you to the living room, and you settled on the couch with your textbooks spread across the coffee table. He sat on the other end, a respectable distance away for about five minutes.
Then he was shifting, leaning closer to look at your notes. Then closer still to point at something. Then his knee suddenly touched yours, and he didn’t move it away—though you didn't move yours either. "Okay," he said, his voice low beside you, "so if you look at this equation, the first thing you want to do is isolate the variable—"
You weren't listening to him at all. You were listening to your heartbeat, loud in your ears. You were feeling the warmth of his knee against yours. You were hyperaware of every millimetre of space between you, of the way his arm brushed yours when he gestured, of the fact that he was so close and neither of you was pulling back. "—and then you can solve for x. See?"
You blinked and looked at the page. "Yeah, I see."
He glanced at you and amusement flickered through his expression. "You're distracted," he said.
"I'm not."
"Your face says otherwise." He was still close. "What are you thinking about?"
You. Always you. For years, always you.
"Nothing," you lied.
He held your gaze for a moment. Then, slowly, he reached up. His hand moved toward your face, toward your hair. Your whole body went still as his fingers brushed carefully against your cheek, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "There," he murmured. "It was in your face."
You couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He was still close. His hand had dropped, but his knee was still against yours, his shoulder almost touching, his face inches away. He was looking at you with an expression you couldn't name: soft, wondering, as though he was seeing something for the first time. "You have really pretty eyes," he said quietly.
Your heart stopped. "Keonho—"
"Sorry." He pulled back slightly, but not far. "Was that weird? That was weird. I shouldn't have—"
"No, it's—" You swallowed. "It's fine."
He searched your face. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
The moment stretched. The air between you felt thick, charged, like something was about to happen. You could see every detail of his face: the small mole on his cheekbone, the slight part of his lips, the way his pupils had widened just slightly.
He was going to kiss you. You knew it with absolute certainty. He was going to lean forward and kiss you and you were going to let him and everything was going to change—
He took a breath and leaned back just slightly. "We should—" He gestured at the textbooks. "Chemistry. You came here for chemistry."
You nodded, not trusting your voice, snapping your eyes back onto the paper. He shifted away by just a few inches, granting enough space to breathe, and picked up his pencil like nothing had happened. But something had happened—something definitely had happened.
You didn't retain any chemistry after that. You sat there for another hour, going through the motions, letting him explain things you didn't hear. Your skin tingled where he had touched you and your mind replayed the moment on loop! his hand, your hair, his voice saying your eyes are pretty.
When you finally left, he walked you to the door. "Same time next week?" He asked.
It was becoming a ritual, a question you both knew the answer to. "Yeah," you said. "Same time."
He smiled. "Good. I'll—" He paused, something flickering across his face. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."
"See you." You walked home in a daze and crawled into bed with the knowledge that there was no chance of you getting any sleep.
The guilt was eating you alive, and you had nearly crossed an irreversible line that would only do more damage than good. You needed to tell him—you knew that like you knew the palm of your hand.
You lay awake staring at the ceiling, rehearsing confessions in your head. Keonho, I need to tell you something. Keonho, there's something you should know. Keonho, remember that coffee I made you?
None of them sounded right or like they would be enough. By the time your alarm went off, you were exhausted and no closer to knowing what to say. But you got dressed and walked to your corner anyway, and when you saw him waiting there, smile already forming as you approached, you smiled back anyway.
The week after the almost-kiss was strange. Not bad—just strange. Keonho was still there every morning, still saving your seat at lunch, still walking you home. But there was something different in the way he looked at you now: softer and more deliberate, as if he was seeing you differently and wanted you to know it.
You still hadn't told him about the potion. Every day you told yourself that you’d do it. Every day you opened your mouth and nothing came out; the words wouldn't form, the courage wouldn't come. So you let it slide. One more day, one more walk, one more lunch.
Friday arrived and you were sitting at the usual table, Keonho beside you, Yuna across from you, the others scattered around. You were half-listening to Martin complain about their group project when someone appeared.
"Hey, excuse me?" You looked up and saw a guy standing at the end of the table. You recognised him—he was in your grade, different class. Tall, nice smile, holding a notebook. "Are you Y/n?" He asked, looking at you.
You blinked. "Yeah?"
"I'm Jaehyun. We have history together? Third period?" He held up the notebook. "I missed class on Tuesday and heard you take really good notes. Would you mind if I borrowed them to copy? I can return them Monday."
Beside you, you felt Keonho go still though you paid him little mind.
"Oh—sure. Yeah, of course." You reached for your bag. "I have them here somewhere—"
"You don't have to do it now." Jaehyun smiled again, easy. "I just wanted to ask. Maybe we could meet up after school sometime next week? Grab coffee while I copy them? My treat, as thanks."
The invitation hung in the air, though before you could answer there was movement beside you. Keonho shifted, just a small adjustment, leaning forward slightly and angling his body toward you, his knee pressed against yours under the table. "She's busy after school," he said.
His voice was casual, but there was something underneath it you had never heard before. Jaehyun's gaze flickered to Keonho, then back to you. "Oh. I didn't realise—"
"Thursdays," Keonho continued smoothly. "We have study sessions on Thursdays. But she's usually free other days." He glanced at you, a small smile. "Right? You could do Monday instead."
You stared at him. Monday. He knew your schedule and knew you were free Monday. He had just offered up your availability while simultaneously staking a claim on Thursdays.
"Monday works," you heard yourself say.
Jaehyun nodded, seemingly unfazed. "Monday it is. I'll find you at the gate?" He smiled, waved, disappeared into the crowd.
Silence swallowed the table whole. You turned to look at Keonho, but he wasn't looking at you. He was staring at the spot where Jaehyun had disappeared, his expression carefully neutral. But his jaw was tight and his knee was still pressed against yours.
Across the table, Yuna's eyebrows had climbed into her hairline. She caught your eye, mouthed what the fuck, and you shook your head slightly, entirely confused. The conversation resumed around you, filling the silence, but Keonho stayed quiet for the rest of lunch. You didn't know what to do with that either.
After school, he was waiting at the gate but something was different. He was quieter than usual on the walk home: answered your questions with one word, didn't initiate anything. You were halfway home when you couldn't take it anymore. "Are you mad at me?"
He glanced at you, surprised. "What? No."
"Then why are you—" You gestured vaguely. "This. Quiet, distant. You've been like this since lunch."
He was quiet for a moment. Then he stopped walking and you mirrored his movements. He was looking at the pavement, hands in his pockets, shoulders tight. "I didn't like that," he said quietly.
"What?"
"That guy. Jaehyun." He finally looked at you. "I didn't like him talking to you like that."
"Like what?"
"Like—" He made a frustrated sound. "Like he was interested. Like he was asking you out. Like you were someone he could just—" He stopped and shook his head. "I didn't like it."
Your heart was pounding at his words.
"I know it's not my place." The words came faster now, tumbling out. "I know we're just friends. I know I don't have any right to—" He stopped again, ran a hand through his hair. "But I didn't like it. I didn't like him looking at you. I didn't like him asking you for coffee. I didn't like any of it."
You couldn't breathe. He was looking at you now and his eyes were dark, intense, vulnerable in a way you had never seen. "I don't know what's happening to me lately," he admitted. "I don't know why I feel like this, but when he showed up and talked to you like that—" He swallowed. "All I could think was mine. Like you were mine and he was trying to take you away."
The word hung in the air.
Mine.
You should have said something. You should have told him. This was the moment—right here, right now—when you should have confessed everything. But you couldn't, the words wouldn't come. Instead, you reached out and touched his arm lightly. "I'm not going anywhere," you said quietly.
He looked at your hand on his arm. Then back at your face. "You're not?"
"No."
Something in his expression softened. "Okay," he said. "Okay."
You stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. The street was quiet, the afternoon light was golden. Everything felt suspended, held, waiting. Then he smiled, small and relieved. "We should keep walking," he said. "Before it gets dark."
"Yeah." You walked the rest of the way home in silence.
Thursday eventually came again, and you had been counting down the days telling yourself that you would finally stop lying to him. But your feet kept moving and your mouth stayed shut and the words stayed locked somewhere you couldn't reach.
"You're staring," he said.
You blinked. You were in his living room and he was on the couch beside you, closer than strictly necessary, textbooks spread across the coffee table. "Sorry. Zoned out."
"Uh-huh." He was smiling. He knew you were lying though he didn't call you on it. "Homework. We were doing homework."
"Right. Homework."
He picked up his pencil, started explaining something, and you tried to listen—you really did. But he was so close—knee almost touching yours, shoulder warm against your arm—and your mind kept drifting to other things. "—and then you just solve for y. See?"
You nodded despite not paying attention to anything he just said, and he sighed, setting down his pencil. "You're not listening again."
"I am—"
"You're not." He sounded more amused than annoyed. "What's going on with you lately? You've been spacey for weeks."
"Just tired," you answered.
He studied you for a moment before nodding and accepting it, picking up his pencil to continue. "Okay. Let's try one more time." You actually focused this time, forcing your brain to absorb the equations he was explaining, and somehow it worked. "See?" He was grinning at your correctly solved problems. "I told you you were smart."
"You're a good teacher."
"I'm an okay teacher, you're a good student." He stretched, rolling his shoulders. "I'm gonna get water, you want some?"
"Sure."
He stood, moved toward the kitchen, and returned within a matter of seconds, settling back beside you and placing two water bottles on the table in front of you. Then, because the universe had a sick sense of humour, you reached for your water bottle at the exact moment his hand touched his right beside yours.
Your hands just barely brushed, fingertips against fingertips, a whisper of contact. For a long moment, neither of you breathed. His fingers were still touching yours, but he hadn't pulled back. He was looking at your hands, at the point where they met, his expression unreadable.
Then, slowly, he turned his hand and laced his fingers through yours. Your heart stopped as he held your hand. His palm was warm against yours, his fingers gentle but sure. He was still looking at your joined hands, with an expression that said he couldn't quite believe they were there. You couldn't either. "Keonho—" you started.
"Don't." His voice was quiet. Soft. "Don't say anything. Just—" He squeezed, just slightly. "Just let me have this."
You didn't move. You didn't speak. You just sat there, on his couch, in his empty house, holding his hand like it was the most natural thing in the world. Minutes passed and you lost track of time entirely. The textbooks sat forgotten on the coffee table, the afternoon light faded outside the window, and still you sat there, hands intertwined, neither of you speaking. Eventually, he shifted. "We should—" He gestured vaguely at the window. "It's getting late."
You should go home, it was late and you were crossing a line you knew you should have stayed behind, but neither of you moved. Then he said, quietly: "Do you want to stay? Watch a movie or something? I can walk you home after."
Your heart stuttered. "A movie?"
"Yeah." He shrugged with one shoulder, still holding your hand. "You said you were tired. Studying can wait. We could just—" Another shrug. "Hang out like we used to."
"Okay," you heard yourself say.
He smiled softly and reached for the remote with his free hand. The movie was something random: an old rom-com you had both seen before, something playing in the background more than anything you were actually watching.
He shifted on the couch, getting comfortable, and then, slowly, carefully—like he was afraid you might bolt—he leaned against you. His head rested on your shoulder, his body was warm against your side, he was still holding your hand. You couldn't breathe or move. You couldn't do anything except sit there, frozen, while he settled against you like it was the most natural thing in the world. "Comfortable?" You managed.
"Mmm." His eyes were already closing. "You're warm."
The movie played on though you didn't see any of it. After a while, his breathing evened out. His hand went slack in yours, but he didn't let go: just kept holding on, even in sleep. You looked down at him. His face was soft in sleep, younger somehow, the tension gone from his jaw. His lashes rested against his cheeks and his lips were slightly parted.
He looked peaceful, like he trusted you completely, and that was when the weight of it hit you. The enormity of what you had done.
He didn't know. He didn't know about the potion. He didn't know that any of this—the hand holding, the falling asleep on your shoulder, the way he looked at you like you were the only person in the world—might not be real and might actually be magic. Might be a mistake you had made on a Saturday morning when you were bored and lonely and stupid.
Your eyes stung and you looked away from his sleeping face.
You were still staring at the wall when he stirred and mumbled something. You looked down to see he was still asleep, but his lips were moving, shaping sounds too quiet to understand.
“Y/n.” He murmured your name in his sleep so softly that your heart cracked open
You sat there for a long time after that, holding his hand, feeling the weight of his head on your shoulder, listening to him breathe, and you cried quietly so you wouldn't wake him. Tears slid down your cheeks, dripping onto your shirt, silent and hot and full of everything you couldn't say.
When he woke, the movie was over and the room was dark. He blinked, disoriented, and lifted his head from your shoulder before looking at you. "Did I—" He rubbed his eyes. "Did I fall asleep?"
"Yeah."
"Oh no." He was embarrassed, you could tell, his ears were pink. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—"
"It's okay."
He looked at you and saw something in your face that made his expression shift. "Hey." His voice softened. "Are you okay?"
You nodded because you couldn't speak. He squeezed your hand. "I should walk you home," he said quietly. "It's late."
He stood, pulling you gently to your feet, and throughout he didn’t let go of your hand. The walk home was silent, the streets were dark, quiet, lit only by streetlamps, and he held your hand the entire way. At your door, he stopped. "Hey." He waited until you looked at him. "Whatever it is—whatever's bothering you—you can tell me. Okay? When you're ready."
You wanted to. God, you wanted to, but you couldn't so you just nodded.
He studied you for a moment before slowly leaning in and pressing his lips to your forehead softly. "Goodnight," he whispered before turning and quickly disappearing around the corner.
You stood there for a long time, staring into space. You had to tell him, deep down you knew that, but how could you tell him when every moment with him felt like this?
The following day you checked the calendar on your phone at least twenty times. Today marked three weeks since the potion and since everything had changed. According to the book, three weeks was the minimum duration. The shortest possible timeline. If his feelings were shallow—if the potion had created everything from nothing—today was when it should have started wearing off.
You waited and watched your phone, expecting a text that didn't come. You checked his social media, seeing nothing new. You paced your room, your heart pounding, your mind racing.
Nothing happened.
By Sunday night, he was still the same: texting you goodnight, sending you a meme he thought you would find funny, asking if you were ready for the chemistry quiz on Tuesday. The potion hadn't worn off.
—
Monday morning arrived and you walked to your corner slowly, your heart already pounding. He was stood there holding something. A flower—small and white, delicate, slightly crumpled like he had been holding it too tight.
You stopped walking at the sight. "What's that?" You asked.
He looked down at the flower, then back at you. A small smile. "Saw it on the walk here growing through a crack in the pavement." He held it out to you. "It reminded me of you."
Your heart stopped. "It—" You swallowed. "It reminded you of me?"
"Yeah." He was closer now, close enough to tuck the flower behind your ear. His fingers brushed your hair, your temple, your cheek. "Pretty and tough."
You couldn't breathe. He stepped back, scanned your face, and smiled. "Perfect," he said quietly before turning and walking toward school as though he hadn't just completely destroyed your ability to function. You stood frozen for a moment before you scrambled to catch up.
The flower stayed in your hair all morning. You could feel it there, a tiny weight, a constant reminder. Every time you moved, every time you turned your head, you were aware of it—aware of him. He walked you to your first class and said goodbye, leaving you standing in the doorway with your hand pressed to your chest.
In class, you couldn't focus. The thought of him was the only thing on your mind.
Lunch came slowly. You were in the cafeteria line, staring at the options without really seeing them, when a voice appeared behind you.
"Well, well, well." Seonghyeon was standing there, tray in hand, grinning at you in a way that made your stomach flip nervously.
"What?" You asked.
"Nothing." He was still grinning. "Just observing."
"Observing what?"
He glanced over your shoulder toward the main table where the others were sitting then back at you. He shook his head slowly, making a soft tsk sound. "I don't know what you've done to him," he said, "but Keonho seems to be... how do I put this delicately?"
"Please don't put it delicately."
"Down bad." He grinned wider. "Completely, utterly, hopelessly down bad for you right now."
Your face erupted in heat. "What? No—we're just—we're friends—"
"Uh-huh." Seonghyeon's grin didn't waver. "Friends who get flowers tucked in their hair. Friends who get stared at like you're the only person in the room."
You turned your head, following his gaze.
Keonho was at the table. He wasn't talking to anyone, wasn't looking at his food, wasn't doing anything except watching you. His head rested on his hand, elbow on the table, expression soft and warm and completely, utterly focused on you.
When your eyes met, he smiled instantly. You snapped your head back to Seonghyeon and you could feel your face on fire. "See?" Seonghyeon was openly smirking now. "Down. Bad."
"We're just—I don't—" You couldn't form a sentence. "Shut up."
"Never." He grabbed his tray, started moving toward the table. But he paused, glanced back at you. "You know he's crazy about you, right?"
Your face heated. "I—"
"I'm not trying to make it weird." He shrugged. "Just... I've known him a long time. I've never seen him like this." He glanced toward the table where Keonho was sitting. "He's always been—I don't know—careful with his feelings. Doesn't let people in easily. But you?" He shook his head. "You've been in there for years, he just... finally noticed."
There was a small pause between the two of you as you processed his words. "What do you mean?" You asked quietly.
Seonghyeon looked at you. "I mean, he's talked about you for as long as I've known him. Little things like 'Oh, Y/n would like this.' 'Y/n told me about that.' 'I wonder what Y/n thinks.'" He shrugged again. "He just never did anything about it until now."
"He's—he's talked about me?"
"All the time." Seonghyeon grinned, but it was softer now. "You're kind of his favourite person, always have been, even when you weren't talking that much. He just needed to figure it out."
The words settled somewhere deep in you. Seonghyeon clapped you on the shoulder. "Anyway, I gotta eat. Just thought you should know." He headed toward the table, leaving you standing in line with your heart pounding and your mind spinning.
You looked toward the table and Keonho was sitting there still watching you. When your eyes met, he smiled once more.
You made it to the table eventually. Keonho saved the seat next to him, like always. When you sat, he glanced at your hair—at the flower, still tucked there—and his smile softened. "It's still there," he said.
"Did you think it wouldn't be?"
"I don't know." He shrugged, easy. "I hoped."
You didn't know what to say to that. Under the table, his knee pressed against yours. His hand rested on his thigh, close enough that you could have reached out and touched it if the urge to do so grew too much. Across the table, Yuna caught your eye. She glanced at the flower in your hair, then at Keonho, then back at you and narrowed her eyes. You gave a tiny shrug and she simply smiled.
After school, he was at the gate like always. You meant to ask if his coach was truly still sick, or if he was just dodging practice to walk you home. But before you could even think of asking, when he fell into step beside you, he reached for your hand. Just took it in his grasp like it was the most natural thing in the world.
You walked home in silence, holding hands, the flower still in your hair. At your door, he stopped. "I'm glad you kept it," he said, looking at the flower.
"It's pretty."
"You're pretty." The words came out before he could stop them. His ears went pink. "I mean—that's not—I didn't mean to—"
You laughed at his words, genuine and surprised, and he stared at you before laughing too. "Shut up," he muttered, but he was smiling.
"I didn't say anything."
"Your face said everything." You were still holding hands. He looked at you for a long moment and then gently lifted your joined hands and pressed his lips to your knuckles. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said quietly before walking backwards, eyes locked on your figure until he turned the corner
—
Tuesday morning followed the same routine and you were almost at the school gates when Yuna appeared. She was practically vibrating with excitement, her eyes wide, her grin threatening to split her face. She was waving her phone in the air like a banner.
"Did you see?" She demanded, grabbing your arm with enough force to stop you both mid-stride. "Did you see the announcement?"
"Good morning to you too," you said, stumbling slightly from the impact. "What announcement?"
She shoved her phone in your face and on the screen was the school's official Instagram post: bright graphics, bold text, and a date that made your stomach drop.
CONCERT TONIGHT! 7PM ON THE FIELD! THREE BANDS! FOOD TRUCKS! DON'T MISS IT!
"The concert!" Yuna was bouncing on her heels now, practically vibrating. "Tonight! On the field! They just put up the posters like twenty minutes ago, and the whole school is already freaking out. Three bands, food trucks, the whole thing. It's going to be amazing."
You stared at the screen. In your weeks of worrying—of counting different days and reading footnotes and agonising over every interaction—you had completely forgotten about the concert you spent months looking forward to.
Yuna read your face instantly and her eyes widened. "Don't tell me," she said slowly, her voice dropping into something almost dangerous. "Don't you dare tell me—"
"I forgot," you admitted.
She gasped, a full-body, hand-to-chest, dramatic theatrical gasp that drew the attention of at least three nearby students. Her eyes went impossibly wide and her mouth fell open.
"You forgot?" Her voice climbed an octave. "You forgot about the concert? The one we've been talking about for months? The one with the band you love? The one we made a playlist for? The one I've been saving an outfit for? You forgot?"
"I've been busy—"
"Busy doing what? Staring at—"
"What did you forget?"
Both of you turned to find Keonho still standing there from your morning walk. He had been standing right beside you this entire time, and you had forgotten about him too, caught up in Yuna's whirlwind. His head was tilted slightly, his expression caught between curious and amused.
Yuna's grip on your arm tightened painfully. "She forgot about the concert tonight," Yuna announced, pointing at you accusingly like you were a criminal who had just confessed to a major crime.
Keonho's eyebrows rose. "The concert? The one with the—" He named your favourite band. The one you had mentioned approximately seven hundred times over the years whose lyrics you had quoted at him since middle school. "That concert?"
"That one," you said weakly.
He stared at you for a moment
"How," he said, "do you forget about your favourite band playing at your school? The one you've been talking about since we were fourteen?"
"I've been—" You searched desperately for an explanation that wasn't I've been spiralling about accidentally dosing you with a love potion and then falling impossibly deeper for you while drowning in guilt. "Distracted."
"Clearly." He was smiling, warm and amused and utterly devastating. "Well, you're going now, right? Since you remembered?"
"Of course she's going," Yuna cut in, recovering her momentum. She looped her arm through yours possessively. "We're going together. Best friend date. I already have outfits planned, it's going to be iconic."
Keonho nodded, easy as anything. "Cool. I'll probably be there too, Seonghyeon's been talking about it for weeks. He's convinced one of the bands is going to notice him in the crowd and ask him to join on the spot."
"That's—" You laughed despite yourself. "That's very Seonghyeon."
"Very Seonghyeon," he agreed. His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer, soft and warm. "Maybe I'll see you there."
"Maybe," you managed. He smiled, waved, and headed toward his locker.
Yuna waited until he had disappeared into the crowd of students before she spun to face you, eyes wide, grip still tight on your arm. "You forgot about the concert because you've been too busy pining over him."
"I haven't been pining—"
"You've been pining. Intensely. Obsessively. It's been weeks of pining. You've forgotten about everything except him." She shook her head, but there was no real anger in it. Just exasperation—fond exasperation. "But now we have a concert to prepare for, and I am not letting you mope. Tonight, we have fun. No thinking about boys or potions or anything except music and food trucks and being normal teenagers for one night. Deal?"
You wanted to argue, but she was looking at you with such hopeful determination. Such fierce loyalty. Such Yuna-ness.
"Deal," you said.
—
After school, Yuna claimed you. She materialised at your locker the second the final bell rang, grabbing your arm before you could even close the door. "Sorry," she told Keonho cheerfully as he approached. He had been walking toward you but Yuna was already pulling you away. "Best friend time. You can have her back tomorrow."
He laughed, held up his hands in surrender. "Wouldn't dream of interfering with best friend time." His eyes found yours over Yuna's shoulder. "See you tonight maybe?"
"Maybe," you said.
He smiled and walked away before Yuna dragged you in the opposite direction.
Your room ended up in chaos. Yuna had pulled everything out of your wardrobe. Clothes everywhere: on the bed, on the floor, draped over your desk chair, hanging from your doorknob. It looked like a boutique had exploded.
She held up two options, considering them with the intensity of an art critic evaluating masterpieces. "This one," she said, lifting a flowy top in her left hand, "would make people focus more on your face. More eye-catching but less central." She lifted the other option in her right hand—a fitted top you had forgotten you owned, cute and flattering and slightly dressier than your usual. "This one would make your figure look amazing. Which vibe are we going for?"
"Can we just wear something normal?"
"Normal is not an option for concerts." She tossed the fitted top at you and it hit you in the face and fell into your lap. "Try this."
It took around fifteen more minutes for an outfit to finally be concocted, and the two of you practically ran from your house to school for fear of being late.
Lights were strung everywhere on the school field: across the stage, along the fences, weaving through makeshift poles. The stage itself was larger than you had expected, with actual speakers and lights and everything. Food trucks lined one side, their windows glowing, smells of fried food and sugar drifting through the air. Students filled the space in clusters, talking and laughing and waiting.
"Oh," you breathed. "Wow."
"Right?" Yuna was grinning. "Told you. Now come on, I want to get closer."
She grabbed your arm and pulled you forward through the thick crowd. Bodies pressed in from all sides. You let Yuna drag you along, weaving between groups, dodging elbows and bags. The music hadn't started yet, but the energy was building, a hum of anticipation that vibrated through the air.
You were so focused on following Yuna, on not losing her in the crowd, that you didn't pay attention to anything else when your foot caught suddenly on something and you were falling.
You reached for balance that wasn't there. Your heart lurched. You were going down, right here, in front of everyone—
A hand wrapped around your waist, strong and steady, pulling you upright before you could hit the ground. You were pressed against something solid—someone's chest—and the hand was still there, warm and firm, holding you steady.
"Got you." You turned and saw it was Keonho. His face was inches from yours. His hand was still on your waist, spanning the curve of it like it belonged there. His eyes were dark in the evening light, wide with something that might have been concern, might have been surprise, might have been something else entirely.
"Hi," you breathed.
"Hi," he breathed back.
For a moment, neither of you moved. The crowd surged around you, oblivious, lhe lights flickered, somewhere someone laughed. He was still holding you, still looking at you like you were the only person in this entire field—
“Ahem.”
You both turned and Yuna was standing there, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised. She was looking at the two of you with an expression that was caught between amusement and something sharper.
"I think," she said, turning deliberately toward the stage, "this is close enough."
His hand dropped from your waist instantly but his eyes stayed on you for a few seconds longer.
The concert eventually started and music filled the field, loud and vibrant, the first band launching into a song you recognised. The crowd surged forward, voices joining in, hands raised. Lights swept across the field: greens and blues and purples, reflecting off faces and phones and the stage.
You should have been watching the band, but you could feel him beside you.
Keonho was standing close— closer than necessary, given how much space there was. His shoulder was inches from yours, his arm brushed yours when he moved. You hadn't looked at him since the almost-fall, but you were acutely aware of every inch of space between you.
The lights caught your face. You knew they did—you could feel the warmth, the brightness. You were singing along, the lyrics familiar and comforting, and for a moment, you forgot everything else.
After a while, you felt the weight of his gaze, and you looked up to see him watching you. His eyes were soft in the coloured light, warm, focused entirely on you.
You smiled gently, tilting your head slightly "Do I have something on my face?" You asked, half-joking.
He shook his head slowly but didn't look away, and slowly his hand rose
You saw it in your peripheral vision, and something in you stilled. He was holding something small, delicate and circular.
A flower crown.
You recognised it immediately. It was a tradition at your school, for every event, someone sold them: little woven crowns of fake flowers and ribbons, and if you bought one, if you placed it on someone's head, it meant...
It meant you liked them. It meant you were confessing. It was the closest thing the students at your school had to a grand romantic gesture.
It was silly, really. A tradition for teenagers too scared to use words. You had seen it happen a dozen times, always with a little thrill of vicarious romance.
But now it was happening to you.
He placed the crown on your head, using both hands to adjust it and make sure it sat right. His fingers brushed your hair, your temples, the shell of your ear, and each touch sent electricity through your skin.
You simply stared at him, unsure of what you could do at that moment.
He pulled back and his eyes scanned over you—the crown, your face, the expression you couldn't hide—and the look in them was something you could only describe as love.
Pure, uncomplicated love
Then, slowly, he leaned forward.
You didn't even realise you were doing the same until you were already moving, already leaning in, already closing the distance between you. His eyes fluttered half-closed. Your heart pounded in your ears. This was it. This was really—
"So!"
Yuna's voice cut through everything like a knife. Her arms wrapped around both your shoulders, pulling you both into an awkward sideways hug. She was grinning, chattering about the next band coming on stage, completely oblivious—or completely intentional, you couldn't tell.
You smiled and nodded along, your heart pounding, your face burning, the flower crown feeling suddenly very heavy on your head. You didn't look at Keonho, you couldn't.
When Yuna finally released you, and the moment had passed, you sneaked a glance. He was looking at the stage now, expression unreadable, but his ears were pink. You looked away. Yuna leaned in slightly and her lips brushed your ear. "Your first kiss shouldn't be when he's under that spell."
The words hit like ice water. She was right, of course she was right. You knew she was right, but god, it hurt to know.
The rest of the concert passed in a blur and when the final band finished and the lights came up and the crowd began to disperse, you knew what you had to do.
"Walk you home?" Keonho asked, appearing at your side.
You glanced at Yuna and she was watching you both, her expression serious now. She met your eyes, and the message was clear: Tell him. Now.
"Yeah," you said. "Okay."
Yuna squeezed your arm as you passed. "Text me later."
You nodded, and then you were walking, just the two of you, away from the lights and the music and the crowd. You didn't go straight home. Your feet just turned away from your street, away from the safety of your front door, toward somewhere else.
He followed without a word. The playground where you had spent countless afternoons as children emerged in the distance. The swings where you used to race, pumping your legs furiously, trying to go higher than him. The bench where your mothers would sit and gossip while you played.
You walked to the swings and sat down on one, him taking the one beside you.
For a long moment, neither of you spoke. The swings creaked gently, the only sound in the quiet night. The concert was a distant echo now, muffled by distance and trees. The sky above was dark, scattered with stars, indifferent to the two of you sitting here on ageing playground equipment.
"This takes me back," he said finally.
"Yeah."
You remembered running around this playground until your legs gave out, him always winning at races, you always letting him, even then. The way he would share his snacks with you when you forgot yours and how you would sit on these very swings and talk about nothing, about everything, about the future you couldn't imagine.
Another silence settled between you. Then, both at once:
"I need to tell you—"
"Can I say something—"
You stopped and looked at each other before laughing awkwardly.
"You go first," he said.
"No, you go first. You started."
He was quiet for a moment, considering. Then he nodded, looked down at his hands wrapped around the swing chains. "Okay." He took a breath. "I need to tell you something and I'm probably going to mess it up, so just... bear with me."
You waited though your heart was already pounding.
"These past few weeks," he started. "They've been—I don't know—different. Good different." He paused, searching for words. "You're different, or maybe I'm different, or maybe we're both different, and it took me way too long to notice." He laughed, soft and self-deprecating. "I'm messing this up."
"You're not."
He looked at you in the dim light from the distant streetlamps, his eyes were dark and serious and utterly vulnerable. "What I'm trying to say is—I like you." The words came out simple. Honest. "Not just as a friend. I like you like—" He gestured vaguely with one hand, still gripping the chain with the other. "Like more. Like I want to hold your hand and walk you to school every morning and put flower crowns on your head. Like you're the first person I want to talk to when I wake up and the last person I think about before I fall asleep. Like—" He stopped and swallowed. "Like I think I've been falling for you for a while and just didn't realise it until now."
The words hung in the air between you. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he could hear it. The flower crown felt suddenly heavy on your head—a symbol of everything he had just said, everything he was offering.
"I know it's sudden," he continued, the words rushing out now like he was afraid he would lose courage. "I know we've been friends forever and this changes things. I know it's weird and complicated and you might not feel the same way, and that's okay, I just—" He took a breath. "I had to tell you, I had to know if there's any chance you might feel the same."
He looked at you and hope flickered in his eyes like a candle in the wind.
"Keonho." Your voice cracked as you felt your heart break. "I can't accept that."
The change was immediate. You watched his face crumble, saw the hope drain out of him like water from a broken cup. His shoulders slumped and his whole body seemed to deflate, curling inward.
"Oh," he said quietly. The word was small and completely ddevastated. "Okay. I—" He swallowed hard. "Have I been too much? The walks, the hand-holding, the flower—was that too much? Did I misread everything?" His voice wavered. "Do you not like me like that? Because if you don't, I understand, I just—I thought—"
"No." You cut him off, desperate, reaching for his hand without thinking. He let you take it, but his fingers were limp, unresponsive. "No, that's not it—that's not it at all. I do like you. I've liked you for years. That's not the problem."
He stared at you, confusion replacing some of the hurt. "Then what is? What could possibly be the problem if we both—" He stopped. Shook his head. "I don't understand."
You took the deepest breath of your life.
"Do you remember that Saturday?" You began, your voice shaking. "A few weeks ago when your parents sent you to get my dad's toolbox?"
He nodded slowly, warily. "Yeah. I remember."
"I was home alone. My parents were at your house." You gripped the swing chains, needing something solid. "And before you came over, I was... I was doing something stupid."
His expression was unreadable as he gradually processed your words.
"Yuna got me this book," you continued. "A present and a joke. It was called 'Practical Magic for the Modern Heart' or something ridiculous. She thought it would be funny because I—" You stopped. Swallowed. "Because I never do anything about how I feel about you."
His eyes widened slightly, but he didn't speak.
"There was a recipe in it for a love potion." The words tasted like ash. "I know how that sounds. I know. But it wasn't real—I didn't think it was real. It was just milk and strawberry syrup and cinnamon—groceries, nothing magical. I made it because I was bored and alone and stupid and I just wanted to see what would happen if I followed the instructions."
You were crying now though you didn't remember when it had started.
"I poured it into an old milk carton—but I was going to throw it out, I swear I was going to throw it out—but then the doorbell rang, and it was you, and I forgot. I just—I forgot it was there."
Your voice broke. "When I made your coffee, I grabbed the first milk I saw. I didn't think about it. Why would I think about it? It was just milk." You pressed your hand to your mouth, trying to hold yourself together. "But it wasn't. It was the potion… and you drank it."
Deafening, horrible silence followed as you scrambled to find reason.
"You drank it," you repeated, because saying it again made it more real. "And I didn't realise until after you left. I opened the fridge and saw the real milk carton was still there and I knew what I'd done."
Keonho hadn't moved. His face was pale and his eyes were fixed on you, wide and unblinking.
"Nothing happened at first," you continued, the words pouring out now, unstoppable. "I thought maybe it was fine, maybe nothing would happen. But then Monday morning you were at my corner waiting to walk me to school, and you kept walking me to school, and you sat next to me at lunch, and you started—" You gestured helplessly. "All of it; the rice, holding my hand, the flower, all of it."
Your voice dropped to a whisper. "And I didn't know what was real. I still don't know. The book said the potion lasts three weeks to ten months, but it didn't say—it doesn't say—" You shook your head. "Every time you looked at me, every time you touched me, I didn't know if it was you or the magic. I didn't know if any of it was real."
He was quiet for a long moment before opening his mouth to speak.
"So everything I've been feeling." His voice was strange—hollow. "The walks, the hand-holding, the flower. All of it—" He stopped and swallowed. "You made me feel that?"
"No—I didn't make you—"
"You gave me a love potion." His voice rose slightly, cracking at the edges. "You put something in my coffee without telling me, and now I don't know—" He stopped, ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what's mine anymore. I don't know if any of this is real."
"I don't know either." The words tore out of you. "That's what I've been trying to figure out. That's why I'm telling you now because I couldn't let you kiss me tonight without knowing. I couldn't let you say all those things and not know if they were really yours."
He stared at you before he stood and the swing rocked behind him, empty, accusing. "I need—" His voice caught. He cleared his throat. "I need to go."
You stood too, reaching for him. "Keonho—"
"Don't." He stepped back, out of reach. His eyes met yours for just a second, and what you saw there destroyed you: hurt, confusion, betrayal. "I can't—I just need some time. To think. To figure out what any of this means."
"Keonho, please—"
But he was already walking away. You watched him go. His back was straight, his hands shoved in his pockets, his steps steady and determined. He didn't look back.
"Keonho," you whispered though he was too far to hear.
The swing creaked gently behind you, the night was quiet, the flower crown was still on your head. You sank back onto it and you sat there alone in the dark for a very long time.
Your phone buzzed eventually.
Yuna: ?? hello?? how did it go??
You stared at the screen. Your fingers were cold, your face was wet, and your heart was a hollow thing in your chest.
You: he walked away
Three dots appeared immediately.
Yuna: i'm coming
You: no
You: i just want to sit here for a while
Yuna: ok. but i'm staying on the phone with you. you don't have to talk. just... don't be alone
The phone buzzed with an incoming call and you answered.
You could hear her breathing on the other end. Just sitting with you, across the distance, in the dark.
You didn't know how long you sat there.
The swing creaked gently beneath you, a rhythm as familiar as your own heartbeat. The night had gone quiet: no more distant music, no more laughter from the school field. Just the occasional car, the rustle of leaves, the sound of your own breathing.
Yuna stayed on the phone the entire time. She didn't talk and neither did you, but you could hear her there, a soft presence on the other end of the line. Sometimes she hummed quietly, sometimes she shifted, the fabric of her bed or chair rustling. She was waiting and watching over you from afar.
Eventually, your fingers went numb from gripping the phone and you stood. “I’m going home now.”
"Okay." Her voice was soft. "I'll stay on until you're inside."
You walked though it felt like you weren’t truly present.
The streets were empty this late and your footsteps echoed against the pavement. The flower crown was still on your head—you had forgotten about it entirely until a petal drifted down in front of your face, and you looked up to see it in your peripheral vision.
Your house was dark when you arrived. Your parents had gone to bed hours ago. You slipped inside as quietly as you could, toed off your shoes, crept up the stairs.
Your room was exactly as you had left it—clothes everywhere from Yuna's wardrobe raid, your mirror still angled where she had positioned it, the lingering smell of her perfume.
You closed the door, leaned against it and slid down until you were sitting on the floor. "I'm inside," you whispered into the phone.
"I'll hang up now. But I'm here. Okay? I'm always here."
"Okay."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
The line went dead and you sat on the floor for a long time, staring at nothing.
You didn't sleep that night, how could you?
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw his face. The way it had crumbled, the hollow look in his eyes, the set of his shoulders as he had walked away. What else could you have done?
You couldn't have let him kiss you without knowing. You couldn't have let him confess without telling him the truth. That would have been worse—so much worse—to let him fall further into something that might not even be real.
But god, it hurt. It hurt so much.
By morning, you were a wreck: dark circles under your eyes, skin pale and blotchy from crying, hair a mess.
You should have got ready for school, showered, changed, tried to look human. But the thought of walking to that corner, of seeing if he was there—or worse, of him not being there—
You couldn't.
You texted Yuna.
You: i can't go today
Yuna: i know. i'll cover for you. say you're sick.
You: i am sick
Yuna: i know. text me if you need anything. anything at all.
You set the phone down and crawled back into bed, hoping the covers would swallow you whole.
The days passed in a blur of nothing. You didn't eat. You barely moved. You just lay there, staring at the wall, replaying everything. Your mum checked on you once, concerned. You mumbled something about a stomach bug, and she bought it, bringing you tea and crackers you didn't touch.
Yuna texted constantly with updates you didn't want and comfort you couldn't absorb. He's still not at school. Seonghyeon says he's ignoring everyone. We're all worried.
You didn't respond because what was the point? You had done this. You had ruined everything. Years of friendship, of quiet longing, of finally finally having him look at you the way you had always wanted—and you had destroyed it all with one stupid mistake.
The guilt was a living thing now, it sat on your chest, heavy and suffocating, it whispered in your ear when you tried to sleep.
By Thursday afternoon, days later, you couldn't take it anymore.
The anger came suddenly, a hot surge that pushed you out of bed. You didn't know where it was directed—at yourself, at the universe, at the stupid book that had started all of this.
You reached under your mattress and grabbed the book, pulling it out before throwing it hard. It hit the wall with a satisfying thump and fell to the floor, pages splaying open. Landing face-down, open to some random page.
You stood there, breathing hard, chest heaving.
The book lay on your floor like an accusation, open and waiting. The pages were ruffled from the impact, bent at the corners, and through some cruel joke of the universe, it was open to that page.
Page 47. The potion recipe.
You stared at it, rereading the words you had practically memorised by that point, but as you looked further you realised there was more text at the bottom of the page.
Smaller than the rest, almost like a footnote. The kind of thing you would have missed if you had been reading quickly, if you had been distracted, if you had been too focused on the recipe itself to notice.
You had missed it, never seen it.
You walked closer, knelt down and read its contents.
Note: The draught does not create love where none exists. It merely removes obstacles that prevent the heart from recognising what already belongs there.
The words blurred as you read them again.
Does not create love where none exists.
Merely removes obstacles.
What already belongs there.
Your hand pressed to your mouth.
If the potion didn't create love—if it could only deepen what was already there—then—
Then everything he had felt was real—every gesture he had done was a subconscious urge that had simply been uncovered,
He had liked you, he had liked you before. Maybe for weeks, maybe for months, maybe for years, and the potion hadn't created those feelings—it had just... removed whatever had been in the way. Fear, maybe, or habit, or the simple blindness of knowing someone so well you stopped really seeing them.
You sank to the floor and the book sat in front of you, open to its terrible truth as you stared at the words, your mind racing.
He liked you, always had, and now he was gone, and he thought everything he had felt was manufactured, and he wouldn't answer anyone's texts, and you had no idea how to fix this.
You didn't sleep that night—the same as every night since your stupid mistake—but it was different from the other nights. Before, you had been paralysed by guilt. Now, your mind was racing, turning over possibilities, running through scenarios.
You could tell him by showing him the book and making him read the footnote. But would he believe it? Would he think you were just trying to manipulate him again?
You could wait, give him space and just hope he came back on his own. But what if he didn't? What if he stayed away forever?
Nothing felt right.
You made a decision, you were going to school and you were going to find Yuna and you were going to show her the book, and maybe—hopefully—she would know what to do.
You found Yuna at your locker that Friday morning.
She was leaning against it, scrolling through her phone, and when she looked up and saw you, her face went through approximately seventeen emotions in three seconds.
"Oh my god." She pushed off the locker, grabbed your arms. "You're here. You're actually here. Are you okay? Should you be here? What's happening?"
"I need to show you something." Your voice was rough from disuse. "Somewhere quiet and private."
Yuna's eyes widened, but she just nodded, looped her arm through yours, and started walking. "The library," she said. "Back corner, no one goes there during homeroom."
You weaved between shelves until you reached the farthest corner, hidden from view by tall stacks and a dusty globe no one had touched in years.
Yuna turned to face you. "Okay," she said. "What's going on?" You reached into your bag and pulled out the book. She recognised it immediately. "The spell book? Why do you have—"
"Open it." You handed it to her. "Page 47."
She took it, confused, but flipped to the page. Her eyes scanned the recipe before she eventually reached the bottom. Her eyes widened as they scanned over it multiple times, fully processing the words. "This—" She pointed at the footnote whilst she looked up at you. "This says—"
"I know."
"It says the potion doesn't create feelings. It just—" She looked back at the book, then at you. "It just uncovers what's already there."
"I know."
"Which means—" Her eyes were huge now. "Which means everything he felt—the walks, the flower, the confession—that was all him. That was all real."
"I know."
"He liked you before, he always liked you, he potion just—" She gestured wildly. "Woke it up or something."
"I know."
Yuna stared at you for a moment, then she grabbed your shoulders hard.
"He always liked you!" She shook you slightly, her face alight with realisation. "Do you understand what this means? He didn't fall for you because of magic. He fell for you because he already had. For years, probably. He just needed something to—to shake him loose, to make him see."
You nodded, because you had been thinking the same thing all night. "Seonghyeon said it," you managed. "At lunch that day. He said Keonho's always talked about me, that I'm his favourite person, that he's just been—" You swallowed. "Slow to realise."
"Exactly!" Yuna shook you again, for emphasis. "This whole time, you've been torturing yourself thinking you forced this on him. But you didn't, you just—accelerated something that was already happening."
You pulled away from her grip and sat down heavily on the floor, your back against the bookshelf. "So what do I even do now?"
Yuna paused, moving to sit across from you. "What do you mean?"
"I mean—" You gestured vaguely. "He's not talking to me, he's not talking to anyone. He thinks everything he felt was fake. He thinks I manipulated him, and even if I show him this—" You tapped the book. "Will he believe it? Will he believe me? After everything?"
Yuna was quiet for a moment. "You have to try."
"But what if—"
"You have to try." She leaned forward, grabbed your hands. "You can't let him keep thinking his feelings weren't real. That's not fair to him and it's not fair to you." She squeezed. "So you find a way. You make him listen, you show him this book and you make him read those words and you don't stop until he understands."
You looked at her. "How?" You whispered.
"I don't know yet." She squeezed again. "But we'll figure it out. Together."
You leaned your head back against the bookshelf.
You and Yuna sat there through homeroom, through first period, through the morning bell that you were both ignoring. The book lay open between you on the floor, page 47 staring up like an accusation and a promise all at once.
"We need to find him," Yuna said for the fifth time.
"We've been over this, he's not answering anyone."
"Then we find him in person. His house, his locker, follow Seonghyeon until he leads us to him."
You shook your head. "If he's ignoring everyone, showing up at his house will just make it worse. He'll feel cornered and trapped."
Yuna groaned, flopping back against the bookshelf. "Then what? We just wait? Hope he eventually comes back?"
"I don't know." You pulled your knees to your chest. "I don't know anything anymore."
Silence settled between you. The library was quiet, muffled sounds of the school day filtering in from far away.
Then approaching footsteps caused the two of you to look up.
Seonghyeon appeared around the corner of the bookshelf. He looked uncomfortable—shifting from foot to foot, not quite meeting your eyes, his usual easy confidence completely absent.
"Hey," he said. "Can we talk?"
You and Yuna exchanged a glance. "Sure," you said.
He leaned against the nearest bookshelf, arms crossed, jaw tight. "Look, I don't know much about what's going on." His voice was quieter than usual. "Yuna kinda explained it, and Keonho hasn't told me anything other than you forced him into feeling something? He's been completely shut down all week. Won't answer texts, won't talk at his locker, won't even look at me when I try to catch his eye." He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I've known him since we were kids. I've never seen him like this."
Your chest ached. "I'm sorry—"
"I'm not here for an apology." He cut you off, but not harshly, just firmly. "I'm here because someone needs to get through to him, and I think that someone has to be you."
You blinked. "Me? He won't even talk to me, he walked away from me and he's been ignoring my texts—"
"Exactly." Seonghyeon pushed off the bookshelf, took a step closer. "Don't you get it? The only reason he's this wrecked is because you're the one who did it. If this was anyone else—if some random person had pulled this—he'd be angry for a day and then move on. But this is you." He pointed at you for emphasis. "You're not just some person to him, you never have been."
Yuna shifted beside you, but didn't speak. "I don't understand," you admitted.
Seonghyeon sighed, rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I'm not supposed to say this. Keonho would kill me if he knew I was telling you. But—" He hesitated, then seemed to make a decision. "He's liked you for years. Like, years." Your heart was pounding. "I'm not stupid," Seonghyeon continued. "I noticed. I just figured he knew and wasn't acting on it for some reason. Maybe he was scared, maybe he didn't want to ruin the friendship. I don't know. But it was always there under the surface waiting."
He looked at you directly. "And then these past few weeks happened and suddenly he was happy. Like, genuinely happy in a way I haven't seen in a long time. Walking you to school, sitting with you at lunch, that dopey look he gets when you're not looking—" He shook his head. "I thought he'd finally figured it out and stopped being an idiot and went for it."
"But he didn't know about the potion—"
"No, he didn't, and now he thinks everything he felt was fake." Seonghyeon's voice softened. "Do you understand what that does to a person? To find out that the best thing that's happened to you in years might not even be real?"
Your eyes stung. "I know. I know, and I didn't mean—"
"I'm not blaming you." He held up a hand. "I'm not. From what Yuna told me, it was an accident and you didn't know. But now you do know. The potion didn't create anything because he’s been in love with you for years, and he needs to hear that from you."
"What if he won't listen?"
"Then you make him listen." Seonghyeon's jaw set. "You show up at his house, you grab him by the shoulders and shake him if you have to. You don't let him push you away." He paused. "Because here's the thing—you mean more to him than you probably realise. You always have. And if you give up now, if you let him disappear into his own head forever, you're both going to regret it for the rest of your lives."
The words hung in the air and Yuna reached over, squeezed your hand.
Seonghyeon straightened, shoved his hands in his pockets. "That's all I came to say." He looked at you one more time. "Don't let him go without a fight."
He walked away and you sat there, stunned, his words echoing in your head.
The rest of the day passed in a blur. You went to classes you didn't remember, you ate lunch you didn't taste, you nodded along to conversations you didn't hear. All you could think about was Seonghyeon's words.
He's liked you for years.
Years.
Not weeks. Not since the potion. Years.
And you had been so wrapped up in guilt, so convinced you had ruined everything, that you hadn't let yourself see it. That night, you texted him.
You: I know you're not ready to talk. That's okay. I just need you to know—I'm not giving up. I'll be here when you're ready.
You received no response, though you had expected that.
Saturday morning, it rained a proper downpour, heavy and relentless, turning the world grey and blurred. You watched it from your window, tracing the paths of droplets on the glass.
Your phone buzzed.
Yuna: what's the plan?
You stared at the message. What was the plan? You couldn't just show up at his house—that felt like ambushing him. You couldn't keep texting—he wasn't responding. You couldn't do nothing—Seonghyeon's words wouldn't stop echoing. You needed to think, to move, to get out of this room that was starting to feel like a cage.
You: going for a walk
Yuna: in this weather??
Yuna: are you insane??
Yuna: Y/n answer me
You pulled on a thin jacket and slipped out the front door before your mum could stop you, ignoring the insistent buzzing of your phone. The rain hit you immediately as you walked with no destination in mind, just one foot in front of the other, letting the rain wash over you, letting the cold numb the ache in your chest.
Eventually, without consciously deciding to, you ended up at the park.
The playground was empty, swings hanging limp and wet in the rain. You walked to the swings and sat down on the same one you had sat on that night. The chain was cold and wet in your hands and the seat was soaked through immediately, water seeping into your jeans. You didn't care.
This was where it had gone wrong. This was where you had told him the truth and watched him walk away. If you could go back—if you could do it over—would you change anything?
You would still have had to tell him, you knew that, keeping it from him would have been worse, so much worse, letting him fall further into something he thought was fake.
But maybe—maybe you could have done it differently: shown him the book first, let him read the footnote himself, given him proof before the confession had shattered. It was too late now.
The rain fell harder as you leaned your head against the chain, letting the cold metal press into your skin.
Two streets away, in a dark bedroom, Keonho sat on his bed. He hadn't moved in hours, hadn't eaten, hadn't slept properly in days. His phone sat beside him, screen dark, notifications silenced. He had been ignoring everyone: his parents, Seonghyeon, you. Especially you. Because every time he thought about you, he didn't know what to feel.
The rain pounded against his window, thunder shook the house, and he remained unmoving, the weight of his emotions swallowing him whole.
His phone buzzed but he ignored it. It buzzed again. And again. And again. Someone was spamming him. He picked up the phone, annoyed, ready to silence it permanently before freezing when he saw the messages were from Yuna.
Yuna: i hope you're happy
Yuna: she went out in this storm because she's so wrecked over you
Yuna: she's not answering her phone anymore
Yuna: keonho i swear to god if something happens to her
Yuna: ANSWER ME
His heart stopped whilst he stared at the messages. His fingers moved before his brain caught up.
Keonho: what do you mean she went out
Three dots appeared immediately.
Yuna: OH NOW YOU DECIDE TO RESPOND
Yuna: she said she was going for a walk HOURS ago and now she's not answering and there's a STORM and i'm going to KILL you
Keonho: where did she go
Yuna: I DON'T KNOW she just said a walk
Yuna: not that you'd care
Yuna: since you've been ignoring everyone including the girl who you've apparently been in love with for years
Yuna: yeah Seonghyeon told me everything
Yuna: so congrats, you're both idiots
He was already standing, already pulling on his jacket, already heading for the door. His phone buzzed one more time as he ran out into the rain.
Yuna: find her and bring her home and then FIX THIS or so help me god
The rain hit him like a wall. It was worse than he had thought—worse than it had looked from his window. The kind of rain that soaked through everything in seconds, that turned streets into rivers, that made sensible people stay inside. He didn't care. He simply ran, hoping to find you wherever you were.
The rain was too loud surrounding you, a constant roar that drowned out everything else. Your eyes were closed. Your head was still against the chain. You had given up on anything except existing in this moment, in this rain, in this pain.
Slowly a sound emerged through the rain, footsteps approaching from the distance. You opened your eyes and through the grey saw a figure running straight for you, a figure you would have recognised anywhere. The familiar build. The way he moved: shoulders slightly forward, arms pumping, head down against the rain. The silhouette that had been imprinted on your heart for as long as you could remember.
You stood quickly and the swing rocked behind you, chains creaking wildly. You took a few stumbling steps forward, rain streaming down your face, and then you were standing in front of him.
Both of you were soaked and breathing hard. He stopped short, almost colliding with you. His chest heaved and his eyes were wide, searching, unreadable.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The rain pounded down around you like a curtain, like you were the only two people in the world, like nothing existed except this moment. Then, finally, he breathed out: "Yuna said you left on a walk."
His voice was raw, like he hadn't used it much in days. You stared at him. "You—" Your voice cracked. You cleared your throat, tried again. "Yuna messaged you?"
"She was worried about you." He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. Rain dripped from his jaw, his nose, the ends of his hair. "I've been walking for an hour checking everywhere. " A pause. " She was... uh, she was pretty angry."
Despite everything, a small sound escaped you—almost a laugh. "She has that effect."
"Yeah." His lips twitched, just slightly. "She said you weren't answering and you'd been gone for hours, that there was a storm." He gestured vaguely at the sky, at the rain still pouring down. "She wasn't wrong about the storm."
"Why are you here?" You asked quietly.
He was quiet for a moment, then he glanced past you at the swings behind you.
"I thought maybe you'd come here," he said. "To this place."
"Why?"
He looked back at you. His eyes were dark and unreadable "Because it's where I lost you," he said quietly.
The words hit you like a physical blow. "Keonho—"
"I read your message." He cut you off, but gently. "The one where you said you wouldn't give up. I read it a hundred times, maybe more." He took a step closer. "And I've been trying to figure out what's real, what's mine, what I can trust."
Your heart pounded. "And?"
"And I keep coming back to the same thing." Another step. He was close now, close enough to touch. "The flower, the walks, the way I felt when you laughed, the way I've always felt when you laughed, even before any of this." His voice dropped. "That wasn't the potion. That was me."
You couldn't breathe.
"That's what I've been trying to hold onto," he continued. "The things I know were mine. The things that have been mine for years, even when I was too stupid to see it." He laughed—a broken, wet sound that was half sob, half disbelief. "Seonghyeon told me. After you sent that message, I called him. First time I'd talked to anyone in days, he told me about the footnote you found, and I asked him—I asked if he'd noticed, if he'd seen it before. If any of it was real."
"What did he say?"
"He said—" Keonho shook his head, rain flying from his hair. "He said I've been in love with you since we were fifteen and just didn't know it. He said it was obvious to everyone except me. He said—" His voice cracked. "He said you're the only person who's ever made me genuinely happy, and I was too blind to see it."
In love.
The words hit you like a wave. "Keonho—"
"I'm not done." He held up a hand, but gently. "I need to say this. I need you to hear it. I've been sitting in my room for days, going crazy, trying to figure out what's real and the only thing I keep coming back to—the only thing that feels solid—is you. Is us. Is every moment we've had together, even before the potion, even before any of this."
He took a breath and rain ran down his face like tears. "I was angry," he admitted. "When you told me, I was so angry because I thought—I thought you'd taken my choices from me. I thought none of it was real, that I'd been manipulated and everything I felt was just... chemicals, magic, not mine."
His voice cracked again. "But it was real, it's always been real, I just didn't see it until you—" He gestured vaguely, helplessly. "Until you woke me up. Until you made me look at you differently. Until I finally saw what had been in front of me the whole time."
The rain continued to fall, but neither of you moved.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "For walking away and not answering and making you wait and making you sit here alone in the rain thinking I hated you." He swallowed hard. "I don't hate you, I couldn't hate you and I've tried. Believe me, I've tried these past few days, and I just—I can't."
You shook your head, words failing. He reached out and took your hand. His fingers were cold, wet, trembling slightly, but they were wrapped around yours, and he was here, and he was real. "I don't want to wait anymore," he said quietly. "I don't want to be scared. I don't want to lose you again." He squeezed your hand. "If you'll still have me after everything, if you still want—"
You didn't let him finish. You moved before you thought. Your free hand reached up, fingers brushing against his wet jaw and he skin was cold beneath your touch.. His eyes widened slightly—surprise, maybe, or disbelief—and in that half-second, you saw everything: the exhaustion, the hope, the fear, the love.
Then you closed the distance and your lips met his.
Your nose bumped his slightly, your teeth clacked against his lower lip, and you felt him wince just slightly before the kiss deepened. You were both so wet that water dripped between your faces, running down your cheeks, collecting where your lips met and turning the kiss salt-tinged and cold.
It was perfect.
For a frozen heartbeat, he didn't move. His hand was still wrapped around yours, his body still, his breath caught somewhere in his chest. You felt the hesitation, the uncertainty—is this real, is this allowed, could he trust this—
Then something shifted. His hand released yours and came up to your face, cupping your jaw with a tenderness that made your heart ache. His thumb traced your cheekbone, wet and warm despite the cold. He tilted his head slightly, adjusting the angle, and then he was kissing you back eagerly, desperately, like you were air and he had been drowning for days.
His other hand found your waist, pulling you closer, eliminating the last inches of space between you. You were pressed together now: chest to chest, heart to heart, and you could feel him shaking.
You kissed him back just as fiercely. Your hands found their way into his wet hair, fingers threading through the soaked strands. The rain pounded down around you both, soaking through what little dry spots remained. It ran in rivers down your joined faces, dripped from your chins, collected in the small spaces where your bodies pressed together. You couldn't have cared less.
You had waited years for this. Years of stolen glances and unspoken feelings. Years of telling yourself it was enough just to have him as a friend. Years of watching him date other people, laugh with other people, be happy without you—and telling yourself that was fine, that was normal, that you were fine.
You were never fine.
And now, finally, finally, he knew.
When you finally broke apart, you were both breathing hard. Your forehead rested against his. His eyes were still closed, lashes dark against his cheeks, rain dripping from them like tears. His chest heaved beneath your hands.
After a moment he opened his eyes and looked at you.
The rain still fell around you, but at this moment, it didn't exist. Nothing existed except his eyes looking at you like you were the answer to every question he had ever asked. "I've wanted to do that," he said quietly, "for so long. I just didn't know it."
A laugh escaped you: wet and broken and full of a joy so intense it almost hurt. "Same." His thumb traced your jaw, gentle, reverent.
"I'm cold," you admitted.
A small smile flickered across his face. "Same." Another smile, wider this time. "We should probably go inside before we freeze."
"Probably."
Neither of you moved. You stood there in the rain, forehead to forehead, breathing the same air, existing in the same moment. His hand was still on your jaw, your fingers were still in his hair, the world could have ended right then and you wouldn't have noticed.
Then, slowly, he leaned in again. This kiss was slower, softer, and far more deliberate this time.
He kissed you like he was memorising you: the shape of your lips, the way you tilted your head. His mouth moved against yours with a tenderness that made your eyes sting.
One of his hands slid to the back of your neck, fingers pressing gently into your wet skin. The other rested at your waist, thumb tracing small circles through your soaked shirt. He was warm despite the cold, solid despite the trembling.
Your hands slid from his hair to his shoulders, gripping the wet fabric of his jacket, holding him close.
When you finally pulled apart—just inches, just enough to breathe—he was smiling. "Okay," he said softly. "Now we can go inside."
You laughed bright and surprised, and he took your hand again, squeezing it before you both began your walk out of the rain.
When you reached the corner where your streets diverged, you both paused. His hand was still wrapped around yours, warm despite the cold, solid and real in a way that made your chest ache with something you couldn't quite name.
"My house is closer," he said quietly. "And my parents are out. If you want to—" He shrugged, a little awkward, rain still dripping from his hair. "Dry off and warm up before you go home."
You should have said no. Your mother was probably worried and you were soaked through and shaking with cold. Going to his house, alone, after everything—
"Yes," you heard yourself say.
He smiled and tugged you gently in his direction.
His house was dark when you arrived. He fumbled with the keys, his cold fingers slipping twice before he managed to unlock the door. Inside, it was warm and quiet, the central heating fighting against the storm outside. "Bathroom's down the hall," he said, toeing off his soaked shoes. "There are towels in the cabinet. I'll find you something dry to wear."
You hesitated in the entryway, suddenly aware of the water dripping from every inch of you onto his floor.
"Go." He gestured. "I'll clean up, it's just water."
The bathroom was small and familiar—you had been here countless times over the years, but never like this. Never dripping wet, never with your heart still pounding from kissing him in the rain.
You found towels in the cabinet, thick and soft. You dried your hair as best you could, patted down your soaked clothes, stared at yourself in the mirror.
There was a sudden knock at the door.
"Got you some clothes," his voice came through. "They'll be huge on you, but they're dry."
You opened the door a crack and his hand appeared, holding a folded sweatshirt and sweatpants. You took them, fingers just grazing his own. "Thanks."
"Meet you in the living room?"
"Yeah."
You changed quickly. The clothes swam on you: his sweatshirt fell to mid-thigh, the sweatpants had to be rolled three times to stay up, but they were warm, and they smelled like him, and you pulled the collar up to your nose just to breathe it in.
When you emerged, he was in the living room.
He had changed too: dry sweats, a different hoodie. His hair was still damp, towel-dried and messy, falling across his forehead. He had a blanket draped over the back of the couch and two mugs on the coffee table. "Hot chocolate," he said, a little shy. "Hope that's okay. I figured we both needed something warm."
You sat and he positioned himself beside you—close, but not quite touching, as though he was waiting for permission.
You took his hand and he exhaled before leaning into you.
For a while, neither of you spoke. You sipped hot chocolate, listened to the rain against the windows, held his hand and felt him hold yours back.
"This is weird," he said eventually.
You glanced at him. "Weird good or weird bad?"
"Weird good." He squeezed your hand. "Just—different. Being here with you like this." He paused. "It's like everything's the same but also completely different."
You nodded. "I know what you mean."
He was quiet for a moment. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"When did you know? That you liked me. Like, really liked me."
You thought about it for a moment. "I don't think there was one moment," you admitted. "It was more like slowly realising that the way I felt about you wasn't how you feel about just a friend. That I thought about you more than I thought about anyone else and you were the first person I wanted to tell things to, good or bad." You glanced at him. "Does that make sense?"
He nodded slowly. "Yeah, it does." A pause. "For me, it was... I don't know. It was like you suddenly came into focus, like I'd been looking at you my whole life but never really seeing you, and then one day—" He shrugged. "I saw you."
"The potion—"
"Wasn't the potion." He cut you off gently. "I've thought about this a lot for the past few days, and I think—I think the potion just... lowered some wall I didn't know I had. Made me stop overthinking and stop being scared." He looked at you. "But what I felt after that? That was mine. All mine."
Your eyes stung. "I was so scared," you whispered. "When you walked away. I thought I'd lost you forever."
"I know." He reached up, brushed a strand of hair from your face. "I'm sorry, I should have—"
"Stop." You covered his hand with yours. "You had every right to be angry and need space. I don't blame you for any of it."
He looked at you for a long moment, digesting your words. Then, slowly, he leaned in. This kiss was different from the ones in the rain, tender in a way that made your heart ache.
When you pulled apart, he rested his forehead against yours. "I'm really glad you're here," he whispered.
"Me too."
An hour later, your phone buzzed.
Mum: where are you?? it's almost dark and there's a storm
You stared at the message. You had completely forgotten.
You: at Keonho's. drying off. I'll be home soon.
Mum: keonho's??
Mum: Y/n what is going on
You glanced at Keonho and he was watching you, amused.
"I should go," you said. "My mum's worried."
He nodded, stood, offered you his hand. "I'll walk you."
"You don't have to—"
"I want to."
You smiled and took his hand.
The rain had softened to a drizzle by the time you stepped outside. The sky was still grey, but lighter somehow. He walked you to your door, stopping at the end of the driveway. "Same time as usual on Monday?" He asked. "For the walk to school?"
Your heart fluttered. "Yeah, same time."
He smiled warmly, eyes tracing your face. "Good." He squeezed your hand. "I'll be at your corner."
You stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Then he leaned in, pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, and walked away, a slight bounce in his step.
You watched him go, cheeks burning at his sudden gesture.
Inside, your mother was waiting with questions you didn't know how to answer, but for the first time in weeks, you didn't mind anything but him because tomorrow morning, he would be at your corner, and he’d be at your corner for many more days to come.
𓏲ּ𝄢… 2ND GEN IDOL BF MARTIN EDWARDS 𝔁 2ND GEN IDOL GF FLREADER # ─── 𝓨outube 𝓥ideo 𝓕ormat ♫ currently playing! show!show!show! ❝If you wanna be my boy, I’m gonna be with you, forever and more. just tell me you love. ❞ - girls generation
𝓒ortis is a 5 member boy group that was formed in august 2007 & 𝓖irlife is a 9 member girl group that was formed in september 2008. both groups are under the same label.
𓏲ּ𝄢… MARTIN & YN MOMENTS WHEN THEY WERE A SECRET IN HONOUR OF IT BEING 10 YEARS SINCE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS CONFIRMED.
#… your leader yuri adjusted the fur lined hood of her jacket before looking back toward the camera with an easy smile, gently nudging james with her elbow as he stepped into frame beside her.
“look who's here,” she said, gesturing toward him with the hand she wasn't adjusting her mic with, “straight off of stage.”
james laughed quietly, offering the camera a small wave as yuri continued speaking without missing a beat.
“this is his second year doing the company family concert,” she explained, turning between him and the lens, “and this is our first year.”
as the two of them continued talking for the camera, laughing about things that have happened so far during the show, neither of them noticing what was happening behind them.
a few feet away, you stood with your arms folded beneath your chest, the oversized fur trimmed hood of your sparkly cropped jacket pulled over your head to shield yourself from the cold december air that drifted through the backstage loading area.
martin had wandered over sometime during the conversation.
now he stood directly in front of you, absentmindedly, his fingers played with one of the fluffy pompoms hanging from the strings of your hood, rolling it between his fingers as he said something too quiet for the microphone to pick up.
whatever it was made your eyebrows knit together and you rolled your eyes dramatically before turning on your heel as though you were done entertaining him altogether, your hood bouncing slightly with the movement.
martin immediately laughed, the sound was silent to the audience behind the music and yuri's voice, but his shoulders shook enough to give him away as he hurried after you.
before you could get more than a couple of steps away, he reached out and gently caught your arm, still laughing while he leaned in to say something else that once again never reached the camera.
you tried and failed to hide the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth before you pulled your arm free and continued walking, martin falling into step beside you like he'd planned on following you anyway.
#… you sat with your members across from cortis, your hands resting neatly in your lap as you stared off into space, only half listening to the conversation happening around you. the variety show hosts were doubled over laughing at something juhoon had just said, the room filling with overlapping voices while you remained completely lost in your own thoughts.
“yn!” your head snapped up immediately at the sound of your name, your eyes finding one of the hosts who was now holding up a large photo board with a picture of you taken during a performance a few weeks earlier.
“everyone is so obsessed with how you look lately and your beauty,” they said, turning the board so the audience could see it before picking up another photo. “but then we found this.”
they held up a pre debut picture of you from when you were a trainee . “you look the same, just a little older.” they tilted their head curiously. “you really are all natural?”
every pair of eyes in the studio landed on you including your members and cortis who turned toward you.
you simply tilted your head, a small smile creeping onto your face.“I’m completely all natural,” you replied without missing a beat, a cocky grin spreading across your face. “that's perfect all natural beauty.”
one of your members immediately reached over and playfully smacked your arm, making you laugh as the rest of the room erupted into amused groans and dramatic ahhs at your shameless confidence.
“what an ego,” martin's voice suddenly cut through the laughter from his side of the studio. he leaned back in his chair, shaking his head with an amused smile. “she's got a big head, doesn't she?”
the entire room burst into laughter again while you turned toward him, sending him a small glare that held absolutely no real annoyance behind it while martin only laughed harder.
#… you stood on stage with your members as more and more groups continued filing in behind you, everyone politely bowing to one another while trying to find enough room to stand without bumping into the next group. staff members hurried back and forth just offstage, quietly directing people into place as the ending stage slowly came together.
you reached up to adjust the bedazzled sailor style hat that completed your stage outfit before letting your hand fall back to your side. with a small smile, you linked your arm through your leader's and waited patiently for the mcs to make their way onto the stage so the live broadcast could wrap up.
the noise around you was a mixture of polite conversations, laughter and idols greeting friends they hadn't seen in weeks.
you barely had time to look around before a pair of hands landed on your shoulders with enough force to make you flinch.
your head immediately whipped around, ready to see which one of your members had decided to scare you, only to be met with martin standing directly behind you.
he was already fighting back a laugh the second your eyes met his, he flashed you the most ridiculous smile imaginable, eyebrows raised as though he'd done absolutely nothing wrong.
you stared at him for a second and then rolled your eyes while one of your members gyuri who had witnessed the entire interaction from beside you, let out a quiet giggle behind her hand.
completely refusing to entertain him, you turned back toward the front of the stage without saying a word, your expression as composed as if nothing had happened.
martin, however, didn't get the hint, his hands stayed comfortably resting on your shoulders, his thumbs absentmindedly tapping against the fabric of your sparkly sailor jacket as he stood behind you without the slightest intention of moving.
you let out the tiniest sigh, trying your best to ignore him despite being painfully aware of the cameras sweeping across the stage.
behind you, martin only smiled to himself.
he leaned forward just enough for only you to hear, to the audience it could’ve been anything but you didn't even spare him a glance.
instead, you reached up, grabbed one of his wrists, and casually lifted his hand off your shoulder before setting it back at his side.
a second later, it was right back where it'd been.
keonho who stood beside him snorted quietly, quickly covering his mouth when he realized he’d laughed out loud.
you closed your eyes for the briefest moment, before turning to look back at him.
martin only shrugged innocently, the corners of his mouth tugging into another grin as the opening music for the ending stage began to play, leaving you no choice but to stand there with his hands still resting on your shoulders.
#… martin leaned casually against the hallway wall, one shoulder resting against it as a staff member held the camera steady in front of him. with an easy smile, he flipped open his silver flip phone before holding it closer to the lens.
“a friend of mine gave this to me,” he said, turning the phone slightly so the charm hanging from it caught the light. “it's cool right?”
the cameraman zoomed in on the small keychain as it swung back and forth beneath the phone, getting a close up of the tiny charm before slowly pulling back out.
martin was just about to lower his phone when movement caught the corner of his eye.
without warning, you walked straight through the space between him and the camera, completely unaware or at least pretending to be.
your bright pink flip phone was pressed against your ear as you talked to whoever was on the other end of the call, a water bottle dangling loosely from your other hand while you made your way toward the practice rooms.
the camera followed you for a split second as you passed and that's when it caught it, hanging from your pink flip phone was a charm that looked almost identical to martin's.
same design, same shape just a different colour, the kind of thing that very obviously looked like it had come from a matching pair.
for a brief moment, the camera lingered between the two keychains before drifting back to martin.
martin's eyes instinctively followed you as you disappeared farther down the hallway, watching until you turned the corner and disappeared from view.
only then did he remember the camera was still rolling.
he looked back toward the lens, a bashful smile slowly spreading across his face before he ducked his head and turned it away with a quiet laugh.
Alexis Ness and the way he texts you throughout the day whenever you’re apart. Sending check-ins to make sure you’re rested or have eaten, attaching pictures of anything that reminds him of you. His texts grow progressively sweeter and more needy with every passing hour because he hates the distance between the two of you.
Alexis Ness and the way he protects you when someone makes you uncomfortable. The gentle warmth in his eyes turns into a glare as he shuts them down, his hand giving you a soothing squeeze to reassure you.
Alexis Ness and the way he braids your hair, his fingers moving gently, completely content just taking care of you.
Alexis Ness and the way he buys a warm pretzel just to hold it out to you, breaking off small pieces and feeding it to you with a soft smile while you walk side by side.
Alexis Ness and the way he insists on building a snowman with you in the freezing cold. Carefully sculpting it using his bare hands to smooth out the snow before wrapping his scarf around its neck, turning to you with expectant eyes just waiting for your approval.
Alexis Ness and the way he gets flustered when you suddenly compliment him out of nowhere, trying to hide his blush behind his hands while peeking slightly through his fingers just to make sure you meant it.
Alexis Ness and the way he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand every time you hand him something, his lips lingering just long enough to make your heart skip a beat.
Alexis Ness and the way he melts when you touch his face. His eyes fluttering shut, leaning his cheek into your palms like a puppy, sighing softly at the simple warmth of your touch.
Alexis Ness and the way he turns into a clingy mess when he feels unwell. Resting his head on your lap, whining whenever you move an inch away, completely reliant on your comfort to feel better.
Alexis Ness and the way his eyes light up whenever you call his name, dropping whatever he is doing to hurry over to your side.
Alexis Ness and the way he clings softly to your sleeve when he’s sleepy, resting his forehead against your shoulder while you gently run your fingers through his hair.
Alexis Ness and the way he calls his cooking his magic, proudly setting a plate in front of you, resting his chin on his hands, watching you with bright eyes as you take the first bite of his culinary spell.
Alexis Ness and the way he gently comforts you when you’re stressed, rubbing circles into the small of your back and keeping his body pressed against yours.
Alexis Ness and the way he knows your basic needs before you even realize it yourself. Preparing warm tea, organizing your space and even adjusting your pillows.
Alexis Ness and the way he falls asleep with his head on your chest, his breathing slow while his fingers remain hooked around your waist, peacefully listening to your heartbeat.
(18+) TWO SHOT — PART ONE! ✩‧₊˚ not edited or beta read, spiderman!eren x fem!reader, college au, spiderman au, mentions of blood/wounds, cursing, sfw & nsfw, kissing, making out, smut, oral (fem receiving), fingering (fem receiving), dirty talk, dubious consent???? (since she doesn't know who he is???), miscommunication, mentions of violence, unedited and not beta read
summary: your friendly neighborhood spiderman comes into your apartment to evade pursuers and meets you, an unsuspecting civilian in his efforts to stop crime. you help patch him up and go on your separate ways, but what you don't know is that spiderman is your project partner in bio class — eren yeager.
words: 7k
author's note: i hope this was worth the wait.... this is just part one of what will be a two part series!! more smut in the next part and also a resolve to the ending <33 anyways im spiderman eren brainrotted and now i hope you are too okiiiieeee bye have fun reading! (artist: jvnely_ on instagram)
The sound of your bedroom window opening sounded much like a death knell.
At first, you tried to tell yourself that it was a figment of your imagination, there had never been any moment that you felt unsafe in your neighborhood before this. But when you heard a step, and then another scrape of a shoe, your eyes shot open and you sat up, coming face to face with a shadowed figure.
Your first instinct was to scream, but it died in your throat. Your lungs were constricted by the sheer fear you felt being face to face with an intruding man when you were living alone in a one bedroom apartment.
He didn’t move.
Moonlight poured through the window behind him, washing out his outline in a pale silver. He was watching you as carefully as you were watching him, his shoulders rising in ragged breaths that sounded almost like he was hurt.
You allowed your gaze to dart over to your nightstand, seeing your phone just sitting on the edge. You probably had one second of movement to grab it before he could lunge over to stop you, which meant there was no way you’d be able to call the police in time. It was too far. The baseball bet your father insisted you keep for “emergencies” leaned against the wall near your front door. Even farther than the phone.
Just as you were about to take your chances in hoping someone would hear you in the adjacent apartment, opening your mouth and a slight sound coming out, the man raised his hands in a wave.
“Please don’t scream!” He yelled, waving his hands more frantically while taking a step forward and then immediately taking it back. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
You scoffed, shaking your head and reaching for your phone.
“I know that’s what every guy says before they hurt someone,” the man took the same step forward and another, standing right at the foot of your bed. “I swear I’m not a home invader!”
Letting your hand fall down to your lap, you cocked your head to the side. “You’re in my home.”
“I know, but I’m not invading in that way just let me explain—”
From here, you could see more of his figure, but there was no skin or clothing showing. Red fabric was stretched across his shoulders, intersected by black webbing and blue patches. White lenses covered where his eyes should be, one of them cracked along the edge, and when you looked down to the blue along his legs, you saw a dark stain soaking through the suit.
Blood.
Your fingers tensed along the comforter gathered in your lap as your eyes darted back up to the stranger’s face. Or . . . not exactly a stranger in the traditional sense.
“. . . Spider-Man?” you breathed, confusion written all along your features as you wondered if this was some practical joke your friends were pulling on you. There was absolutely no way that this was real, you had to be dreaming or something of the sort, Spider-Man didn’t just break into people's homes.
His white lenses widened. “Oh,” he let out a relieved breath. “Yeah.”
Spider-Man rubbed the back of his neck and winced. “Ow.” His hand flew to his side, pressing his fingers against the wound and immediately flinching at the feeling. “I probably should have led with that part.”
A pause lingered between you both before you opened your mouth again. “. . . Why are you in my apartment?”
“I was being chased,” he explained, using his hands to talk. “By people. Dangerous people.” Spider-Man sighed, shaking his head. “I’m doing a horrible job at explaining this.”
“You think?”
He let out a shaky laugh. “I just needed somewhere to hide for a few minutes and your window was open.” You glanced towards the window and it was, in fact, wide open. You’d let it stay cracked because your air conditioning was wonky all week, and you were on such a high level in your apartment building you didn’t have to worry about people breaking in. Well, until now.
“So . . . you just picked one?” You asked, eyes returning to him.
“I . . .” He hesitated. “Kind of?”
“You kind of climbed into a random woman’s apartment at one in the morning?”
“When you say it like that —”
“How else am I supposed to say it?”
Spider-Man opened his mouth and nothing came out of substance, just a tiny, “Yeah.”
Instead of delving into the absurdity of his rationale, you watched his breathing hitch, knees buckling and his hand coming to catch himself on the footboard while the other pressed against the wound at his side. “Shit,” he muttered followed by a sharp inhale, breathing becoming uneven. A droplet of blood seeped from the dark patch on his suit onto your hardwood floor, and then another.
“You’re actually bleeding,” you murmured, more to yourself than to him. You didn’t move yet, still planted in the same place on your bed as you warred in your head between helping the man who had broken into your apartment or yelling at him to leave.
Spider-Man glanced down at his side. “Occupational hazard.”
You glanced over at the still-open window, listening for the rustling of his pursuers who would never arrive. There was a car horn blaring and the wailing of an ambulance in the distance, but you could hear no shouting, no gunshots or anything that would give way to the idea he was still being followed.
Once you turned back to him, you realized his body looked more tense than it had a few minutes ago. “You’re bleeding all over my floor,” you said, finally willing yourself to move, dropping your legs on the edge of your bed and walking towards him. He tensed at first, hand coming up to stop you from coming any further. “I’m going to get my first aid kit,” you explained, holding your hand up in a makeshift surrender. “Just . . . wait here.”
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You thought to yourself as you made your way into the bathroom attached to your bedroom. Every self-defense seminar and every true crime documentary you’d ever half watched screamed at you about how this behavior was how people ended up in a breaking news article amber alert.
Do not leave a stranger alone in your apartment. Do not help the stranger in your apartment. Definitely do not turn your back on the stranger in your apartment and give them an opening to kill you.
Your first aid kit sat behind rolls of toilet paper underneath your bathroom sink, which you grabbed with shaking hands. He hadn’t moved from the place you’d left him, gloved hand still braced against the footboard with his head dipped towards the floor. At least he listened, that was something.
You patted the edge of your mattress for him to sit, sitting down with him and breathing in the tangy copper smell of dried blood emanating from his wound. “Can you take the mask off?” You asked him, motioning to the slight dip in the fabric where the mask had ridden up, revealing the tiniest sliver of pale skin.
He shook his head. “Absolutely not, just — I can do it myself.”
Spider-Man reached for the gauze in your other hand and you pulled it away from him. “No you can’t, you’re shaking from too much blood loss,” you argued, sighing at his insistence on keeping his identity secret. “If you’re not going to take the mask off, can you at least tell me what happened?”
He paused, catching his breath before dropping his gaze down to the wound on his side. “I interrupted something I shouldn’t have . . . and got stabbed.”
“Stabbed?” you exhaled, eyes widening in shock. You reached over and pulled his hand away, seeing the puncture wound through his ripped suit. It had been torn clean through, a ragged slit in the fabric that showed the puncture wound just above his hip.
Blood was welling from the opening and falling down his side, skin darkening into an angry purple bruise surrounding it.
Your stomach lurched as a wave of nausea wracked through your body. “Oh my god.”
“Don’t freak out! Just . . . just wait, it’s not as bad as it looks,” he explained, trying his best to calm you down. “Look at it for a few seconds and you’ll see what I mean.”
“What the hell do you mean look at —”
“Shh, trust me,” he urged.
You did what he said, forcing your eyes to lock onto the wound and wondering what
the hell he expected you to get from this. Then, just as you were going to look up and yell at him for wasting time you could’ve spent helping him — you saw it.
It was imperceptible at first. The blood seeped through the puncture but it appeared slower, torn flesh almost twitching beneath the layer of crimson. The edges of the wound drew together by the smallest fraction, making you blink in surprise, your mouth falling open.
“That’s not . . .” You paused, watching the gap in his side shrink no more than a millimeter this time. The healing wasn’t instant or miraculous, it looked like a time-lapse of something eerily biological. “How are you doing that?”
Spider-Man glanced down at the wound and shrugged, acting as though the most insane thing you’ve ever seen in your life is nothing more than a minor inconvenience.
“I heal a little faster than most people,” he tried to explain.
“A little?” You repeated. “Your body is stitching itself back together!”
“Very slowly,” he corrected, his attention now on you instead of the wound. “If it makes you feel any better, it still hurts a lot.”
You looked down at his side and sure enough, it was still there. It hadn’t magically vanished and blood was still dripping through, but where there had only been a deep puncture, the edges were already beginning to knit together and the bruises weren’t spreading as quickly. It was impossible, this was impossible.
“What the hell are you?”
The question hung in the air and he hesitated, as though he wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that question himself. “Just Spider-Man,” he answered, a soft humor in his voice. “I’m a human, just . . . a weird one.”
The next ten to fifteen minutes were spent cleaning up as much of the puncture as you could, asking him a few questions here and there that he would either deny outright to answer or give some half-assed answer that you couldn’t determine if it was truthful or not.
Once you were finished, you surveyed your work, seeing the flesh cleaned by the liquid antiseptic and the haunting look of the skin underneath the bruises moving as they healed.
It was getting late, way later than you’d stayed up for on a school night and your eyes started to droop. He helped you throw away the used gauze and put the first aid kit away, standing in front of your open window and giving you one last look.
“I’m sorry again, for scaring you,” Spider-Man said, motioning to the recently cleaned floors you two had done together. “And the floor.”
You leaned against the headboard of your bed, offering a small smile. “It’s okay.”
Spider-Man nodded once, his gloved fingers curling around the frame of the open window, glancing at the city stretching out in front of him. “You should lock your window after I leave. You know, so no one can get in.”
Before you could think of anything to say back to him, or any questions about his name or where he lived, he stepped onto the fire escape and disappeared. You were quick to hurry to the window, feeling the cool night air on your skin as you leaned out to catch a glimpse of red and blue swinging in between the buildings, disappearing into the darkness.
In the morning, which came unforgiving of your lack of sleep, you wondered if you imagined the events of last night. Though, that wonder was immediately erased when your eyes drifted to the folded bandage wrappers sitting in the trash can of your bathroom.
Despite your body’s protest, you managed to get to class on time. The crisp autumn air did little to keep you awake as students hurried around you towards the lecture building, your bag slung over your shoulders and a warm drink in your hand to combat the slight tremor in your gait.
Introduction to Biology was a dumb class that you had to take for a general education requirement, but at least today there would be less lecture and more working on a project that was due soon.
“You’ll all be working in pairs,” your Professor stated, pacing slowly back and forth at the front of the hall. “I’ll be assigning partners so that you all work with someone you haven’t worked with before.”
There was a collective groan through the lecture hall and someone in the back muttered a complaint under their breath that earned a few snickers from the surrounding rows.
You couldn’t care less about having your partner chosen for you, as long as they actually pulled their weight and didn’t smell like stale beer, it would be a success.
Your fingers tightened around the cup in your hands, trying to keep yourself present instead of falling asleep since you’d already caught yourself zoning out twice during attendance.
As names were called and students were sectioned off into pairs together around the lecture hall, you yawned, searching the room for the person you were paired with.
“Y/N,” your professor stated plainly, commanding your attention. “You’ll be working with Yeager.”
A chair scraped backward behind you, turning your attention towards the source.
Eren Yeager was a quiet kid, not necessarily shy from the way he would answer questions when the professor called on him or from when you’d hear him making jokes with a handful of people he seemed to tolerate. But he wasn’t the type of person to make any effort to be noticed.
He’d always come to class wearing earbuds tucked beneath the hood of whatever sweatshirt he’d decided to wear and either spend his time staring at his laptop instead of the screen or reading a manga volume you assumed was one of hundreds.
From what you’d gathered, his social circle was small, sometimes there would be a blonde guy seated beside him and sometimes a goth girl with a red scarf.
Other than that, you knew absolutely nothing about Eren Yeager. He wasn’t the type of person you imagined yourself speaking to.
He slung his backpack over one shoulder and weaved through the rows of seats towards you, giving you a tentative smile. He was wearing an oversized light blue crewneck with a white collared shirt underneath, the cuffs peeking out from beneath the sleeves that were pushed halfway up his arms. Dark hair fell haphazardly over his forehead like he’d tried to make it look somewhat neat this morning by running his hands through it a couple times.
Behind the thick rimmed glasses smushed onto his face were green eyes that looked almost as exhausted as yours probably did.
“Hi,” he said, voice wavering. “I guess we’re partners then.”
“Looks like it.”
Eren slid into the empty seat beside you, setting his backpack carefully on the floor before pulling some of its contents onto the desk. First was, you guessed it, a few manga volumes with worn covers, and then the last was his laptop.
He pushed the manga over to the side with a light blush coating his face. “I forgot we had projects today,” he said, explaining the books. “I was reading before class.”
You glanced at the covers stacked neatly beside his laptop. “ . . . three?”
Eren’s ears reddened to a darker shade than before, staring down at his keyboard before facing you. “I couldn’t decide. In my defense, they’re different genres.”
“Hm.”
“I, uh . . .” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “I was thinking we could split the work evenly. Half the research and combine everything later?”
The two of you settled into an easy rhythm surprisingly quickly. He typed constantly, fingers moving against his keyboard with practiced speed, occasionally pushing his glasses back into place from sliding down the bridge of his nose.
Every so often you would hear him mumble something to himself before deleting an entire section. You found yourself watching him a bit more than what could be considered necessary.
Quiet people always seemed harder to read.
“You okay?” He asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Do you need something?”
He’d caught you staring. “Oh,” you said, heat creeping up your face. “Sorry. Just dazed off. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
His fingers stilled. “Really?”
You nodded, rubbing at one eye and taking another sip of your drink. “A really weird night.”
“Weird?”
Eren looked at you fully now, meeting your tired eyes through the thick lenses of his glasses.
For a moment, you contemplated telling him about your run in with the elusive Spider-Man last night. After all, you hadn’t told anyone about what happened for fear of them saying you were full of shit, or telling you that you’d finally lost it completely.
Everyone knew who Spider-Man was, he was all over the news and social media. But it was one thing to say you knew who he was and another to say that you’d met him outside of one of his ‘saves.’
Your friends would think you had gone insane. But Eren? You didn’t know him. Not really. If he thought you were crazy, there wasn’t that much for you to lose. You’d be done with the project at the end of the two weeks and then you’d be on your own ways.
“Promise you won’t laugh?” You asked, your voice a bit lower.
Eren glanced at you for a moment while he typed. “I can promise I’ll try.”
Well, here goes nothing.
“Spider-Man climbed through my bedroom window last night.”
For the smallest, tiniest fraction of a second, Eren seemed to stop typing. The cursor blinked on his screen while his hands remained suspended over the keyboard. Then he resumed, as though nothing had happened.
You barely noticed it, it was something that flew right over your head. “Spider-Man?” He asked. “As in Spider-Man?”
You nodded, tilting your head so you could gauge his reaction to see if he was laughing at you or not.
“The one swinging around downtown?” Eren asked.
“Are there any other Spider-Man running around?”
He laughed, going back to typing. “You have a point.”
“You don’t believe me.”
“I didn’t say that,” he kept his eyes on the document in front of him. “So, what happened?”
You recounted what happened last night and after every detail you waited for Eren to laugh in your face, but he didn’t.
Instead, he was calm about it, as though this was a normal thing that happened to everyone and wasn’t a once in a lifetime chance. You got to the end of the night and talked about how he apologized a bunch about getting blood on your floor.
“I mean . . .” Eren’s smile lingered. “If someone accidentally bled all over my apartment, I’d probably appreciate the apology too.”
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Three wracks against your bedroom window spurred you out of your studying, turning your attention to it. It was raining, it had been all day and at first you supposed it was a few hard raindrops landing on the glass. But then there were three more just like it.
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
Slowly, you stood from your desk chair, setting your highlighter down before crossing the room. Your curtains were drawn, concealing whoever was waiting on the other side. You hesitated, then pulled it aside in one quick motion.
“Before you say anything. I’m not bleeding this time.”
Spider-Man was outside your window, his hands lifted in surrender. It had been almost a week since he’d shown up in your apartment and it looked as though he hadn’t changed at all. His suit was damp from the downpour, rainwater running over the red and blue fabric. He wasn’t clutching his side or breathing like every inhale hurt. He looked normal.
“You decided to knock,” you observed while moving to unlatch the window.
His head tilted sheepishly. “I figured climbing through uninvited only worked once.”
A gust of rain-soaked air swept into your room when the window opened completely, stepping to the side to allow him inside. You crossed your arms, eyebrows raising as you waited for him to explain what he was doing outside of your apartment again, this time with no threat of someone following him.
Spider-Man lingered just inside the window, rainwater dripping steadily from the edge of his suit. He glanced down before looking back up at you. “I’ll clean that up.”
“You’re worried about the floor? Again?” You asked, disappearing into the bathroom for a towel before tossing it in his direction. His hand shot out of and grabbed it instantly, those abnormal reflexes that you’d seen in videos of him coming in full force.
You may have spent the last week watching videos of him and the various ‘saves’ he’s had all over the city, but you’d never tell him that.
It was strange to watch shaky phone recordings of someone who had sat on the edge of your bed bleeding through his suit, a guy who was an untouchable inhuman force of nature, completely fearless and untouchable. You’d watched numerous news feeds of him joking with reporters after stopping robberies of various corner stores.
He rubbed the towel over the top of his head before draping it around his neck. “What?”
You blinked, shaking your head. “The videos make you look taller.”
“Seriously?” Spider-Man asked, a laugh escaping him while staring at you through the mask. “That’s the first thing that you noticed?”
“It’s been bothering me all week, honestly,” you answered.
“How tall did you think I was?”
“I don’t know, like . . . six-four?” You shrugged your shoulders.
He shook his head. “Six-four? That’s ridiculous. I’m six foot on a good day.” Spider-Man glanced around your room, his gaze catching on the biology textbook that was lying open across your desk.
You had been knee deep in the research for your and Eren’s project when he knocked on your window, and although you were thankful for the distraction, the deadline of the project was looming over your head.
The last thing that you wanted to do was explain to your partner that the reason you didn’t get your half of the work done was because Spider-Man came to visit again. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell him that you were busy, your heart hammered so frantically in your chest at the mere thought of him leaving again.
Which, in the grand scheme of things, was completely irrational. You had no idea who this guy was underneath the mask. Sure, he didn’t do anything bad to you a week ago, but who was to say he would keep up the nice guy charade? What if he was someone you shouldn’t trust?
“Why’d you come back?” You asked him, cocking your head to the side. “Unless there are robbers in my apartment I don’t know about?”
His gaze lingered on the textbook for another second before drifting back over to you. “I…” he began, but the words died. One gloved hand found the back of his neck and rubbed absently while the other remained on the towel you’d given him. “I don’t know.”
You squinted.
“Well actually, that’s a lie,” he said immediately afterwards. “I guess I wanted to make sure you were okay.” When you didn’t respond at first, he gave a sigh. “I know I scared you last week and I didn’t want you to think I forgot about it, your kindness I mean.”
You continued to stare at him.
Heat crept into his voice. “And . . . I liked talking to you. You’re easy to be around.” Spider-Man laughed once, a little quiet thing. “And you’re also really pretty.” His hand came to the back of his neck again. “So I figured I’d stop by.”
For a long moment, your brain refused to supply a single coherent thought. Pretty? Of all the things you expected him to say, that hadn’t crossed your mind at all. You’d expected him to have another emergency or more apologies or something else that he needed to do that required your immediate attention.
Not that you were easy to be around or that you were really pretty.
A blush coated your face, creeping all the way to the tips of your ears, realizing that he was calling you really pretty when you were here looking like a mess while studying.
You were wearing the oversized university sweatshirt you’d stolen from one of your friends a few years ago and tired eyes from being hunched over biology notes for too long. You probably had pencil smudges along the side of your hands and your hair was probably going every which way.
He’d climbed five stories in the rain just to tell you that?
You should have been even more suspicious of him now. You didn’t know what he looked like and you didn’t know his name. Every rational part of your brain insisted that trusting someone because they’d apologized to you a bunch and didn’t do anything to you after breaking into your apartment was an awful survival strategy.
However, your heart was entirely uninterested in listening to reason.
Instead, you walked a few paces closer to him. He didn’t move, feet planted in the same place. Rain continued to drum steadily against the open window behind him.
You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears, loud enough that you wondered if he could hear it too. “You really think I’m pretty?” You asked him in a softer voice, close enough that you could feel the heat emanating from his body underneath the suit.
Spider-Man let out a tiny laugh. “Doesn’t everybody?” He paused. “I mean, you’re saying other people don’t?”
“No one has ever climbed five stories to tell me that,” you said, shrugging your shoulders.
Another laugh escaped him. “I don’t usually do this.”
Silence settled between you both once more. Your eyes dropped from the white lenses of his mask before settling on the small strip of skin where the fabric met his jaw, reminding you of how it looked the same up close as it did when you cleaned his side only a week ago. You could remember how warm his skin had been beneath your fingertips.
“Can I ask you something?” you murmured, hands at your side itching to close the distance.
He nodded immediately, making you swallow. “If I asked you to take the mask off,” your eyes searched for any hint of who he really was beneath them. “Would you?”
“No.”
You nodded once. “I figured.”
“I wish I could,” he said, sincerity lacing his voice. “It isn’t because I don’t trust you. You’d probably just be disappointed.”
You tilted your head to the side, a silent question laced your features.
“Everyone has this idea of who I am. They expect me to be, I don’t know,” he searched for the correct words he wanted to use. “Someone older, maybe. Taller, apparently. I don’t want you to be disappointed if I’m not what you want to see.”
Your lips twitched. “Even if I want you to take the mask off so I can kiss you?”
The space between you both fell silent, completely still enough that not even the rain was ringing in your ears anymore. Spider-Man didn’t move, staring down at you and you imagined his eyes widening behind those white lenses. “ . . . What?”
“I—” you let out a nervous laugh. “Forget I said that.”
“No!” he said, shaking his head. “No, I was shocked, that’s all. Here—” Spider-Man moved around your room for a moment, searching for something. A few moments passed by and he landed on a black scarf you’d neglected to put away with your coat earlier this week, grabbing it and walking back in front of you.
“If you wear this over your eyes, I’ll take the mask off.”
You looked down at the scarf in his hands, biting your bottom lip while you thought. Finally, you decided to throw caution to the wind and nodded slowly, taking the scarf from him and fashioning it over your eyes. You tied it into a knot, looking back to where you supposed he was and staring at darkness.
“Can you see anything?” He asked.
You laughed, shaking your head. “No.”
“Good.”
You heard the faint shuffle of his footsteps against the floor as he seemingly took another step closer to you. The silence stretched long enough for your heart to begin racing. “Are you still there?” you asked, granting the void a nervous smile.
A soft laugh answered you. “Yeah. I’m working up the courage.”
Right as you were about to say something else, you heard the quiet rasp of fabric sliding against skin, the sound of his mask peeling off and then it falling down to the floor. Somehow, standing there in complete darkness, you felt aware of him more than ever. You could hear his breathing, the slight tremor of his exhale.
“Okay,” he said after a long moment of nothingness.
You lifted a hand slowly into the darkness, fingertips brushing against what you assumed were his collarbones.
Pushing upwards, you felt the skin of his neck, then up to the warm skin of his jawline. You traced for a moment before your hand found purchase on his cheek, still damp from the rain. He leaned into your touch, causing your breath to catch.
“Hi,” you whispered.
An awkward laugh escaped him. “Hi.”
His lips met yours with a tentative gentleness, lingering for only a moment before pushing again, as though giving you a chance to decide you’d changed your mind.
Your hand slipped farther from his cheek to his damp hair, leaning in and smiling into the kiss as a quiet, disbelieving laugh escaped his mouth.
His mouth moved together with yours almost perfectly. You could taste a hint of something sweet on his lips, sugary and laced with the dampness of the rain. His hand came up to grasp at your neck, pulling you close enough to where your chest brushed against his own.
You longed to see what he looked like, to know what face you were kissing, but you refrained from pushing the makeshift blindfold off. You wanted to respect him for the trust he was already giving you.
Both of you pulled away and you wished you could see the look he had on his face. You wanted to know if he liked the kiss or not, or if he was disgusted and wanted to leave. You went to pull your hand away and he stopped you, gloved hand pressing yours back onto his face.
“Don’t,” he murmured against your lips, the word barely louder than the silence. You stilled, palm pressing once more against the warmth of his face.
Right as you were going to say something, his lips slotted against you again, catching you off guard but he was far from unwelcome. His palm cradled your jaw with tenderness, thumb sweeping against your bottom lip.
This kiss was a bit different. Before, he had been gentle and tender, a question asked in the dark.
The moment you responded, however, it seemed as though his control completely snapped. Spider-Man groaned low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your lips as the kiss deepened. It was hungry and demanding while his other hand pressed against the small of your back, almost crushing you against his chest.
It felt like he wanted to devour you and you let him, your hand flying up to clutch onto his chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his suit. The kiss was so overwhelming your knees felt weak, without your sight every other sense felt magnified.
Your head was spinning, half of your thoughts telling you that you should pull away before things got out of hand and the other half of you wanting to say fuck it and let whatever happens, happen.
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he whispered, the words vibrating between you both. He kissed you harder, tongue claiming yours in a hunger that was almost violent. His mouth moved to the sensitive column of your throat, teeth grazing your skin that was tender and threatening all at the same time, earning a gasp from your lips as he nipped a tiny bite.
His hand slid down and bypassed the waistband of your pants, palm finding the curve of your ass, squeezing his fingers into the flesh.
A soft moan escaped him when he felt just how receptive you were to his touch, your own hands exploring the expanse of his torso through his suit. Spider-Man pulled you closer, his hips bucking forward towards your own.
“Are you sure we should—”
“—keep going,” you interrupted, shaking your head underneath the blindfold.
The kiss was feral now, the sound of both of your soft, broken gasps and slight moans was like lighting a fire over a pool of gasoline. He pushed you a bit backwards, guiding you to the edge of your bed and helping you sit down.
Your heart beats almost out of your chest, allowing for practically a stranger to not only kiss you but guide you towards your bed making your head spin. His lips trail down from your neck to your collarbones, tongue grazing along the underside of one before you felt his gloved hand tug at the waistband of your pants.
“Can I take these off?” He asked, breath panting.
Before you could give him any semblance of doubt, you reached down and pushed them off yourself, exposing your bottom half completely to him as you dropped the pants along with your underwear to the ground.
A low groan came from his throat, his body settling between your legs. He pushed your shirt up to the undersides of your breasts, kissing down in between them.
“I don’t even know your name,” you breathed, eyes fluttering shut underneath the blindfold when his kisses travelled lower, ghosting along the expanse of your stomach.
“Are you sure we should — fuck.” His hot breath on your inner thighs shut down any doubt you had about him being this close to you, and you trusted him, you trusted him so much despite not knowing who he was.
“Do you want me to stop?” He murmured, his tone tense as though he was using all the strength he had left to not just dive in. As a test, his tongue darted out and licked a stripe up the junction of your thigh and your toes curled instinctively. “I need to know before I devour you, pretty girl.”
You shook your head. “Don’t stop, don’t you dare stop.”
You could feel stubble scraping against your soft skin, working his way upward with torturous patience. “You’re dripping for me,” he murmured, awe in his tone.
In any other circumstance, you would deflect, try to play it off. It was too late, he already had you underneath him and blindfolded, there was no place to hide.
His tongue was broad and rough, swiping upward in one long, wet stroke from below your entrance all the way to your swollen clit. Spider-Man groaned at the taste, burying his face in between your legs, tongue working with precision laced with desperate hunger.
He sucked your clit into his mouth, using his tongue to swirl it around the sensitive bud while his gloved fingers found your entrance. One, and then two fingers plunged deep into you, your walls pulsing around his fingers while he continued to devour you. His tongue was relentless and vulgar, his goal to lick up every drop of your arousal from your folds until there was nothing left.
Your hands fell to his head, feeling the soft strands of his hair in between your fingers as you clutched onto him for dear life.
He had longer hair than most guys, soft and coarse, you could just tell it was beautiful in whatever color it was. Moans left your mouth with no filter, thighs clamping against his face to keep him as close to you as possible.
He wasn’t just eating you out, he was fucking devouring you. His tongue was working like a weapon, relentless and precise while he kept his fingers buried deep inside of your soaking wet cunt, stretching you as he felt your inner muscles clench and spasm around him.
“Fuck, you taste so good,” he moaned against your inner thigh, returning his mouth to your clit, sucking it in between his teeth and applying a rhythmic, punishing suction that made your back arch at an impossibly harsh angle off of the mattress.
You were gasping for air through the blindfold, completely at his mercy for whatever he wanted to do to you. You were making incoherent noises now, high pitched broken whimpers.
Every time your hips thrust up against his face to seek more contact, he met you with even more pressure, fingers curling up to find that spot that made your toes curl and voice crack in between a moan. The room was filled with wet squelching sounds that were obscene and filthy, a testament to the territory he had claimed within your apartment.
“I-I’m going to–” you whimpered, hips grinding up against his face over and over again. He used one of his hands to press them down, anchoring you to the mattress.
He started flicking his tongue against you while simultaneously pumping his fingers in and out of you, creating a friction that was white hot and borderline overwhelming. You were building so rapidly to your peak that tears pricked up in the corners of your eyes.
“That’s it, take it,” he muttered, words muffled by your folds. He knew how close you were, pushing his fingers deeper, determined to ruin the last of your composure.
Your inner walls clamped down on his fingers in a desperate, rhythmic pulse that milked him mercilessly, your cunt flooding his mouth with another wave of slick arousal.
Your orgasm was less of a peak and more of a shattering, hips bucking wildly with your back arching while letting out a broken, keening cry that tore through all other sounds in the room.
He didn’t let up, sucking on your clit one last time with intensity that drove you deeper into the orgasm, savoring every shudder and gasp with his mouth.
Once the tremors in your frame began to subside and you slumped against the bed, panting and spent, you felt him pull away. He carefully withdrew his fingers, a wet pop echoing in the air and stood up before you.
“Where are you going?” you asked him, gaining the strength to push yourself up on your elbows. Your hands came up to pull the blindfold away before you remembered the circumstances and stalled your motion.
Spider-Man leaned over to you and put his hands on either side of your face. “I have to go.”
Your eyebrows screwed together. “What? Go? I thought—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said, sensing your unease. “I didn’t mean to get this carried away. I still have to stop a robbery tonight and I lost track of time and I’m really sorry to leave you like this.” He was rambling now, obviously scared of pissing you off or leaving you high and dry.
But you were spent, and still had to somehow try and finish more research for class tomorrow. “It’s okay,” you said. “I understand.”
You heard him breathe out a sigh of relief.
“Will you come back again?” You asked, suddenly feeling insecure.
“Yes, of course I will. Not tonight but soon, I promise.”
You were barely listening as Eren went on about his portion of the research. It wasn’t because you were uninterested, it was because of the events of last night.
You couldn’t stop thinking about Spider-Man for the rest of the night and now into the morning, a constant revolving door of emotions and memories flooded your senses the second you allowed your mind to wander.
“ . . . what do you think?” Eren asked, oblivious to your dozing off.
You blinked. “Hm?”
Eren looked at you over the top of his laptop, one eyebrow raised. “I asked if we should include the section on ATP production or if it’s too much.”
Behind those glasses, his green eyes met yours with the same quiet attentiveness they always seemed to carry. His hair was just as unruly as it had been the first day you’d been partnered together, and he pushed his glasses up farther on the bridge of his nose while staring.
He gave a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “It’s okay, it is early,” he said, stretching his tall form in his chair that barely contained him. “These chairs are too small.” He muttered somewhat to himself.
You laughed. “Yeah, probably to you. You’re almost freakishly tall,” you said, a subtle jab that held no malice. “They fit just fine to me.”
“I’m not that tall. I’m six foot on a good day.”
You blinked.
I’m six foot on a good day.
Something about that sentence tugged at you from the back of your mind. Too familiar. Before you could remember where you’d heard it before, you could feel the feeling of it slip away as quickly as it had come.
“What?” Eren asked.
You shook your head and gave a smile towards him before glancing down at your textbook.
.ᐟ.ᐟ your loyal customer is a local rockstar with whom you always had a flirty friendship with, despite having to keep it professional... ᯓ★
⤷ ゛cortis smau, 28 slides, oneshot ˎˊ˗
•• — feat. cortis & illit ♡
𑣲an. quick lil oneshot based on this ask :) + i went thru hell to edit everything i could but it was worth it.. enjoy it babes <3
synopsis: martin uses your date night on the basketball court as an excuse to cuddle up to you, though little does he know just how competitive you truly are.
word count: 1.5k
info+warnings: bf!martin, fluff, established relationship, date night, basketball game, pet names, skinship, kissing
"You're too slow, baby." Martin teased, his voice a warm, lilting sing-song that made your competitive spirit flare even as your heart did that familiar little flip. He was circling you again, the basketball ricocheting between his hand and the floor, his sneakers scuffing against the sun-bleached asphalt in a lazy, unhurried rhythm.
You planted your feet, chest heaving, arms spread wide in what you hoped was an intimidating defensive stance. The afternoon sun beat down on both of you, casting long shadows across the empty court, and you could feel a thin sheen of sweat gathering at the nape of your neck. Martin, infuriatingly, looked like he'd just stepped out of a photoshoot: flushed and glowing, his hair falling messily across his forehead, that stupidly perfect smile playing at the corners of his lips.
"I'm not slow," you shot back, though your voice came out breathier than you'd intended. "You're just cheating."
He gasped in exaggerated offense, pressing a hand to his chest like you'd mortally wounded him. "Cheating? Me?" He took a step closer, and you instinctively backed up, matching his movement. "I would never cheat at something as sacred as basketball with my favourite person."
"Your only person," you corrected, trying to keep your tone sharp even as a smile threatened to break through.
"Exactly," he said, his voice dropping to something softer, sweeter. "My favourite and only person. That makes it even more important to play fair."
You scoffed, but your heart wasn't in it. He was still circling, still moving with that predatory grace that made your stomach flutter, and after a moment more you surged forward in an attempt to snatch the ball, your hands outstretched and fingers reaching for the ball.
Not even a second later Martin secured his grasp on the ball and lifted it high above his head, your fingers grazing nothing but air.
"Nice try, baby," he laughed, the sound bright and unguarded, echoing off the chain-link fence surrounding the court. His other arm snaked around your waist before you could retreat, pulling you flush against him. The heat of his body seeped through your top, and you could feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your chest.
You glared up at him, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the way your hands instinctively settled on his shoulders for balance. "That's not fair."
"Life's not fair," he said cheerfully, looking down at you with that devastating smile. The ball was still suspended high above both your heads, held effortlessly in his long fingers. He was tall—unfairly, impossibly tall—and he knew exactly how to use it.
You let out a sigh in defeat, leaning your body weight slightly more onto him whilst gazing up at him, seeing his face gently soften. The playful glint in his eyes didn't disappear entirely, but it mellowed into something warmer, making your chest ache in the best possible way. His arm around your waist tightened, pulling you impossibly closer, and you felt the tension in your shoulders ease as you surrendered to the moment.
The afternoon sun continued its slow arc across the sky, casting golden rays across Martin's features. Up close, you could see the faint freckles dusted across his nose and how his eyes turned a beautiful hazel colour under the light. You knew every line of his face, every shift of his expression, and still, somehow, he managed to take your breath away.
He was looking at you now with that particular softness in his eyes that made you feel like the most precious thing in the universe. His hand let go of your waist and came up to brush a strand of hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your cheek before returning to its place on your hip.
He lowered his head slowly, the messy hair cascading down his forehead grazing your own.
His lips brushed against yours, barely a whisper of contact, and your eyes fluttered closed. His hand cradled your jaw like you were something fragile and precious, and you melted into him completely.
He kissed you like he was memorising you, trying to pour every ounce of love he felt into the press of his lips, because words had never been enough for him, not when it came to you. He'd told you once that he loved you with his whole chest, but this was what he truly meant. This was his heart laid bare.
Then, very slowly, you felt his arm begin to lower.
The ball dropped inch by inch, as if gravity was slowly remembering its hold on him. His focus was entirely on you, his eyes still closed, his lips still moving against yours. He was completely lost in the kiss, completely unaware of the subtle shift in his posture. His grip on the ball had slackened, his arm relaxing as he surrendered to the moment.
You waited.
One more inch. Two.
Your eyes fluttered open, and you saw the ball, now at shoulder height, still held loosely in his fingers. His fingers were barely curled around it, his attention entirely consumed by the kiss.
Your hand shot up, fingers closing around the leather, and you yanked it from his grasp in one swift, fluid motion. You pulled back from the kiss, a triumphant grin already spreading across your face, the ball secure against your chest.
Martin's eyes flew open. He blinked, dazed and confused, his lips still slightly parted from the kiss, still shiny and pink. His pupils were blown wide, his breathing uneven, and for a beautiful second he looked completely wrecked—as though you'd undone him entirely.
Then his gaze dropped to the ball in your hands, and his expression shifted from blissful contentment to utter, comical betrayal.
"You—" he sputtered, pointing at you with an accusatory finger. "You planned that."
Your grin widened. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"I was being romantic!" He exclaimed, his voice pitching higher in disbelief. "I was having a moment with you! I was—" He gestured helplessly at his own chest, then at you, then at the ball. "—I was kissing you!"
"And it was a very nice kiss," you said sweetly, bouncing the ball a few times for emphasis. "Top tier, really felt the emotion."
His mouth opened but he remained speechless for a few more seconds, his brain scrambling for a response.
"You," he said slowly, pointing at you with both hands now, "are an absolute menace."
"Takes one to know one," you replied, already backing away toward the hoop.
Martin stared at you for a long moment, his expression caught somewhere between outrage and reluctant admiration. Then, slowly, a grin spread across his face: sharp and playful and full of challenge.
"Oh, you're in for it now," he said, his voice dropping to a low growl.
You shrieked with laughter, spinning on your heel and sprinting toward the basket. Your sneakers pounded against the ground, the ball secure in your arms, Martin's laughter chasing you across the court. You could hear him gaining on you, his longer strides eating up the distance, and you threw yourself toward the hoop—
He caught you around the waist just as you released the ball, spinning you away from the basket in a messy, laughing tangle of limbs. The ball bounced off the backboard, rolled along the rim, and dropped through the net with a soft swish.
"I scored!" You exclaimed, twisting in his arms to face him, your chest heaving with laughter. "That's a point for me!"
Martin was still holding you, his arms locked around your waist, his face flushed and radiant. His smile was so wide his eyes had crinkled into happy crescent moons, and his hair was an absolute disaster of strands sticking up in every direction.
"You're such a cheat," he said, shaking his head in fond exasperation.
"Admit you lost, baby," you grinned, reaching up to brush a stray strand of hair from his forehead, "I’m just better than you."
Something soft flickered in his eyes and his laughter faded into something quieter, more intimate. He pulled you closer, his arms tightening around you like he never wanted to let go.
"I love you," he said, the words simple and sincere. "Even when you cheat at basketball."
"I didn't cheat," you protested weakly, still grinning. "I used strategy."
His laugh was a warm puff of air against your lips. "My strategy."
"Your strategy," you admitted. "You taught me well."
He kissed you again, slower this time and tasting like sweat and laughter. When he pulled back, his smile was soft, his eyes full of the kind of devotion that made your heart ache.
"Rematch tomorrow?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You pretended to consider it, tapping your chin thoughtfully. "Only if you promise to actually play this time."
"Baby," he said, his voice dropping to that teasing sing-song again, "I always play. I just play my game."
You shook your head, laughing, and let him pull you into another kiss. The ball lay forgotten beneath the hoop, rolling lazily in the afternoon breeze awaiting the next of your futile attempts against your way-too-tall boyfriend.
warnings + tags ᭄᭡ ot5 x reader (separate), gn!reader, purely fluff, not proofread, sorry for any mischaracterisation!
author's notes ᭄᭡ thank u miss grande for releasing petal i hope she gets better soon. also wrote a little less for sean cuz i wasnt too sure how to characterise him...
word count ᭄᭡ 400 ish/member the album
˖ ࣪ꉂ`𖦹.┆james
james is so gentle with you, never showing any anger whatsoever when he’s around you. he’s always behind you, hands around your torso, pulling you in and holding you like you were meant to be there. any inexperience in relationships whatsoever is made up for with his want for you. james knows that you love it whenever he hugs you from behind, so he makes sure to do it whenever given the chance. he’ll kiss the back of your head, memorising your scent. he loves everything about you.
james kisses you the same way he treats you, with reverence and so much want. he’s a natural at it too, even if he hasn’t kissed many others before. he gives his all when it comes to you, believing it’s the bare minimum of what you deserve. he loves long, intense makeout sessions, where no one interrupts you and you both are so absorbed in each other that you could lose track of time. quick pecks on the cheek are fine too, but he just loves it when he can have his lips on yours all the time, worshipping every single part of you. he’s so desperate, but he controls himself and goes at your pace all the time, never wanting you to feel like you’re forced to do something just because he wants it.
james’ love languages are quality time and acts of service. he loves when you’re with him. even if you guys aren’t doing anything, just your presence comforts him and makes him relax instantly. as long as you’re by his side, he feels like he can do anything. he’s a simple man; as long as you’re happy and healthy, he’s happy too. he does everything in his power to make sure of that, and even takes time out of his busy schedule to go on weekly dates with you. james never wants you to feel like you’re not his first priority, and he’ll do anything to keep that feeling away.
he loves helping you out whenever he can, whether it’s something simple like holding the door open or something more energy consuming like restocking your things for you. no matter what, if he can lighten your workload, he’ll do it with no questions asked. when you’re sick, he’ll even request an off day just to take care of you. he’ll cook for you, clean your room, stay by your side and watch over you just to ensure you’re as snug as a bug in a rug. he’ll even cuddle with you if you ask, caressing your hair while you use his bicep as a pillow and stuff your head in the crook of his neck. he’ll kiss your forehead through his mask and hum a song for you while you gladly drown in his immense love for you.
james can’t help but love you so much, he knows it was what he was born to do.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ ʚଓ་༘࿐
˖ ࣪ꉂ`𖦹.┆martin
martin is like an excited little puppy when it comes to you. if you look at him close enough, you can see his tail wagging whenever you’re near. he loves holding your hand while he works on music, especially when you’re beside him and press your cheek against his. he’s so whipped too, the members tease him for it but he doesn’t even care. he’ll show his love for you one way or another, doesn’t matter how embarrassing it may be to others.
martin kisses you like it’s your first time kissing each other; there’s so much passion and love in it. he loves giving you kisses out of nowhere, especially on your cheeks. he’ll kiss you anytime, anywhere, whether it’s when he’s making music or whether you’re doing your own work. he thinks it’s cute when you never know how to respond to his sudden kisses, especially when you’ve just woken up after he slept over at your house. in his opinion, you’re the cutest when your face turns red after a surprise kiss from him.
one of martin’s love language is taking photos of you. you could be doing anything, from playing on your phone to actually posing, doesn’t matter. as long as he thinks the timing is right, he’ll pull out his digicam and snap a pic of you. by now, most of his camera roll is filled with pictures of you. he’s even got a separate folder dedicated to your pictures, and his lock screen is a picture of you both in paris together, standing in front of the eiffel tower. you’ve got the bouquet he gifted you covering your faces while you kissed behind the flowers. martin sees this habit of his as his proof of love for you. the day that he stops snapping pics of you is the day he dies.
martin also loves writing songs about you. he thinks that the most romantic thing someone could do is make a song for their loved one. as long as you’re on his mind, his pen just flows like a river. he’ll cook up several lines of a verse in a single minute just from the thought of how much he loves you. he loves it when you give him song or lyric ideas too, immediately penning them down so he doesn't forget about it. he doesn’t publish these songs of course, they’re for yours and his ears only.
martin cherishes every moment he has with you, keeping his love in the form of photographs and songs made just for you.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ ʚଓ་༘࿐
˖ ࣪ꉂ`𖦹.┆juhoon
juhoon loves quietly, like how one admires the night sky after a long and tiring day. you’re his star, after all. he loves it when you play with his hair, whether you tie it up or braid it, whatever you do, he loves it as long as your hands tangle themselves in his locks. he’ll even fall asleep with your hands in his hair, that’s just how comforting he finds your touch. he absolutely loves it when you guys are cuddling in bed, your hands messing around with his hair and his head pressed into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent.
juhoon’s kisses feel like the fireplace on a cold, rainy day, or a thick blanket during the winter nights. they’re comforting, fulfilling and warm your soul. he kisses you softly and slowly, relishing the moment. he wants to enjoy every single second of it all, and stop to appreciate everything. sometimes, when life gets chaotic for you, he’ll take you to his favourite park at night, appreciating the stars while he kisses you on the lips sweetly. he makes sure you can feel his love for you through his kiss.
juhoon’s love language is physical touch. he just loves to hug you, or just have your pinkies interlinked as you stroll down the street. as long as he’s got one hand around you, he knows everything’s gonna be alright. juhoon loves your designated movie nights, when you’re both wrapped up in a big blanket on the sofa, and he’s holding you like there’s no tomorrow. his hands rub your back slowly, and cover your eyes if there’s a scene you don’t want to see. he’s like a koala, clinging to you as if he’ll die if he’s more than 1 meter away from you.
juhoon also loves acts of service. he’s someone who believes that action speaks louder than words, and that doing something is better than just saying it. he’ll help you with your zipper, lend you a hair tie if your hair’s bothering you, pick out clothes for you. basically, anything you ask for, he’ll make sure it’s done as soon as he can. one time, you asked him to help restock your shampoo since you were running low, and he ended up getting dinner for you both on top of buying you new clothes and accessories. he thinks it’s just something that he should do, if he thinks you’ll like it.
juhoon knows that as long as he’s got you, he’s content with everything.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ ʚଓ་༘࿐
˖ ࣪ꉂ`𖦹.┆seonghyeon
seonghyeon likes to send you voice recordings of his song covers, asking you if you like them or not. and of course, you always do. he’ll go to karaoke with you, and sing your favourite songs just for you. if you’re a pc collector, he’ll absolutely give you all versions of the cortis albums and even buy your other favourite groups’ albums just for you so that you can have as many pcs as you want. doesn’t matter how much money he has to spend as long as your smile is always present.
seonghyeon loves kissing you everywhere but your lips. not because he’s shy or anything, but because he likes to tease you. you guys would be cuddling, and he’ll pepper kisses all over your face and neck, even your hands, but avoid your lips entirely. he’ll give the corners a quick peck, but that’s about it. it’s not until you chide him for it and plead with him that he’ll start kissing you on the lips for real. seonghyeon kisses you how he eats his acai, savouring every moment and revering you.
seonghyeon’s love language is gift giving. he’ll buy you anything you want, popmart or smiskis or whatever it is that you like to collect. he loves spoiling you, and seeing the surprised reaction on your face when he pulls up to your house hauling a shopping bag full of things that he bought just for you. he knows money doesn’t buy happiness, it’s the thought that counts. so he likes to handmake gifts for you occasionally too. he’ll fold origami, simple things like paper rings, swans etc for you, hoping you like it.
you don’t know this, but seonghyeon loves it when you play with his sister. he loves that you both get along so well, and likes to watch you guys have fun together while he sits back and laughs at your antics. you and his sister are like partners in crime, always up to some mischief especially if it involves seonghyeon.
seonghyeon loves you to his very core, and he seriously hopes one day you'll really become apart of his family.
ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ ʚଓ་༘࿐
˖ ࣪ꉂ`𖦹.┆keonho
keonho’s an enthusiastic kind of lover, he’ll make sure the whole world knows that you’re together, even if he’s not supposed to. he can’t help it, he’s so grateful to be your boyfriend that he feels the need to announce it to the whole world. he loves buying things that remind him of you. from keychains to beanies, he’ll buy it as long as you pop up on his mind when he looks at it. he’s gotten matching seal or sea lion keychains for you guys before, insisting you guys wear it somewhere on your outfits whenever you go out on a date together.
keonho kisses you like a puppy licking its owner. he’ll pepper your face full of kisses, making sure no spot is left unkissed. his kisses are like receiving a balloon animal as a child, full of wonder and so much joy in them. he loves it when you guys give each other quick pecks especially on the lips, where he can taste your lip balm and you can taste his.
keonho loves physical touch so much. he’ll cling onto you like a koala even though he’s hissing at you like a sea lion, oar-ing his way into your heart. you think it’s endearing how much he loves seals and sea lions though. whenever you guys go out, he’ll either have one arm around your shoulder, your waist or hold your hand with your fingers intertwined and arms swinging about. he likes to skip when he walks sometimes, and he drags you along with him to do the same. he likes to carry you too, whether it’s a piggyback or a bridal style hold, he’ll have you in his arms and run about like there’s no tomorrow. his favourite place for a casual date is the playground at midnight, where you guys would go on the seesaws and have as much fun as you want.
keonho also loves feeding you. you could be cooped up in your room for hours, forgetting to eat after being engrossed in your work, and keonho’ll burst in with some takeout, feeding you and sharing his food with you. it just comes so naturally to him too, you don’t even have to ask for a bite and he’ll be offering it to you with no questions asked. whether you’re at the movies or eating dinner together, he’ll always reach a hand to your mouth, mouthing an ‘ahh’ for you to open up before sticking the food in your mouth. keonho loves watching you eat, your cheeks puffing up like a hamster after it’s stuffed too many nuts in its mouth. he thinks your best moments are when you’re enjoying your food together.
keonho loves you loudly and brashly, but his love is never wavering.
. . banter banter banter , rude humour , they lowk hate each other ( but in a loving way? )
notes so originally, this was an unfinished smau for 7 months but i finally got myself to finish it after seeing cortis last night and keonho bias wrecked me SO HARD. as the title states, this is a very unserious one ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ enjoy!
summary: Weak Hero boys react to their partner having ocd and germophobia.
type: kdrama, weak hero, headcanons
Yeon Sieun
At first, Sieun mistakes some of your habits for simple preferences.
He notices how you hesitate before touching doorknobs, how you unconsciously avoid brushing against strangers in crowded hallways, how your backpack always contains disinfectant wipes, hand sanitizer, tissues folded with impossible precision. He does not ask questions immediately because he has learned that not every silence should be interrupted. He simply watches, memorizes, and pieces the puzzle together the same way he solves everything else. The realization arrives quietly. This is not a preference. This is exhausting for you.
Once he understands, he begins adjusting himself without announcing it. If he notices your shoulders stiffen at the sight of a dirty cafeteria table, he wipes it clean before you even reach it. If someone touches your belongings with sticky hands, he silently cleans them for you before handing them back. He never laughs when you wash your hands twice, or three times, or count the steps before entering a room. He knows your rituals are not irrational to you. They are survival.
There are difficult days. Days when your compulsions keep you trapped in a cycle that leaves you pale and frustrated. He never forces you to stop. Instead, he quietly interrupts the spiral. He asks you to help him solve a physics problem. Hands you a book. Starts talking about something so unexpectedly specific that your attention drifts away from the loop your mind was building. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. Either way, he stays.
If anyone mocks you, he becomes frighteningly cold. His voice never rises, but the room somehow feels colder around him. "Grow up." That is all he says before leading you away, his hand resting lightly against the small of your back, shielding you from every pair of curious eyes.
The first time you apologize through tears, whispering that you're "too much," Sieun looks genuinely confused.
"You think I stay because it's easy?"
His gaze doesn't leave yours.
"I stay because it's you."
That sentence becomes stronger than any reassurance your mind tries to argue against.
Ahn Suho
Suho approaches your condition the same way he approaches every injury or hardship in your life. Like it belongs to both of you.
He learns quickly. The first time you visibly panic after someone sneezes into their hands before touching your shoulder, he notices how your breathing changes. Instead of telling you you're overreacting, he simply steers you toward the nearest sink with an easy smile.
"Come on. We'll wash up."
No judgment. No sigh. Just acceptance.
He becomes surprisingly observant. He starts carrying extra sanitizer because you always run out faster than expected. If you're too overwhelmed to enter a crowded convenience store, he walks inside alone and returns balancing drinks and snacks with a grin, pretending he only went because he "felt like it."
There are moments where your OCD wins. You spend thirty minutes washing dishes that are already clean. You check the front door lock fifteen times before bed. You burst into tears because you accidentally stepped on something sticky outside.
Suho never gets angry.
He sits beside you on the kitchen floor while you scrub the same plate for the seventh time. He talks about his day, tells ridiculous stories from work, complains dramatically about customers, anything to keep you company until the panic loosens its grip. He understands that loneliness makes everything worse.
Some days he coaxes you into little victories.
"Just one less check today."
"Let's try touching it together."
"If it feels impossible, I'll do it with you."
He celebrates those tiny accomplishments like you've won an Olympic medal.
Because to him, you have.
Jeon Seokdae
Seokdae treats your struggles with immense gentleness, almost as though handling fragile porcelain that has already survived too many cracks. He never rushes you, never grows impatient when your routines delay both of you. If leaving the apartment takes an extra twenty minutes because you need to check the stove repeatedly, he simply waits beside the door with his shoes already on, scrolling absentmindedly through his phone as though time itself has become unimportant.
He quickly becomes someone you instinctively look toward whenever your mind begins convincing you that catastrophe is inevitable. His calm presence steadies something inside you. When you ask him, for the fourth time, whether he is certain the windows are locked, he never sighs dramatically. He walks back with you, checks them once, then gently cups your face.
"I checked them."
A pause.
"You watched me check them."
Another pause.
"So trust me this time."
His reassurance carries weight because he never lies to you.
If you have contamination fears, he quietly shields you from situations that trigger them. He pays before you can touch grimy card readers. Opens public restroom doors with his sleeve. Carries tissues in every jacket pocket because he knows you always need one eventually.
He cannot fix OCD.
He knows that.
But he refuses to let it convince you that you're difficult to love.
Kang Wooyoung
Wooyoung struggles in the beginning.
Not because he doesn't care, but because he genuinely doesn't understand.
"Wait... you already washed your hands."
Then he sees the panic on your face. The trembling fingers. The tears you desperately try to blink away because you know it doesn't make sense. That is the exact moment his teasing disappears.
After that, he becomes your biggest accomplice.
If someone jokes about your sanitizer collection, he casually says, "Mine's almost empty too." Even when it isn't.
He intentionally normalizes your habits so nobody singles you out.
He's also incredibly physically affectionate, which creates its own learning curve. At first he'll absentmindedly grab your hand after touching gym equipment, only to immediately realize your expression has fallen.
"...Sorry."
From then on, he remembers. He washes his hands before holding yours. He changes clothes after training before hugging you.
Not because you demand it, because he knows it helps.
On bad OCD days, he'll distract you with constant conversation until your thoughts lose momentum. He's loud enough to overpower your anxiety.
Sometimes that's exactly what you need.
Park Humin (Baku)
Humin's first instinct is always to make you smile.
When he realizes your obsessive thoughts are making you miserable, he refuses to let them become the only voice in your head.
If you've spent an hour reorganizing your scrapbook because one sticker is slightly crooked, he'll dramatically gasp.
"Wait."
You freeze.
"I think this page is missing something."
"What?"
"My autograph."
Before you can protest, he's already scribbling a tiny smiling basketball in the corner. Now you're laughing instead of crying.
Mission accomplished.
But beneath all his humor is remarkable attentiveness. He memorizes every trigger. Knows which restaurants feel clean enough. Carries your preferred hand sanitizer. Keeps tissues in his hoodie pockets. Checks whether bathrooms have soap before telling you to use them.
If someone tells you to "just stop thinking about it," Humin becomes unusually serious.
"If it was that easy," he says quietly, "don't you think she would've done it already?"
Nobody has an answer because he's right.
More than anything, he refuses to let your disorder define the atmosphere of your relationship.
Your life is already ruled by enough fear.
He wants your relationship to be ruled by joy instead.
Go Hyuntak (Gotak)
Hyuntak is practical by nature.
Once he learns what helps and what doesn't, he sticks to it religiously.
If touching something dirty will ruin your entire day, he'll touch it instead. If carrying groceries means you'll have to sanitize every item individually afterward, he'll unpack everything while you sit at the table drinking water.
He never acts inconvenienced, it simply becomes another way of caring for you.
There are moments, however, where your OCD frustrates him-not because of you, but because he hates watching something invisible hurt someone he loves. When he sees you scrubbing your hands until your knuckles crack and bleed, he'll quietly take the soap away.
"Enough."
You immediately reach for it again, but he gently catches your wrists.
"They're bleeding."
You insist they're still dirty. His expression softens.
"No."
He raises your hands to eye level.
"They're hurt."
Then he spends the next ten minutes rubbing moisturizer into every tiny crack with impossible patience.
He doesn't argue with your illness.
He argues with the damage it causes.
Geum Seongje
Seongje reacts in the most unexpected way.
He never treats your OCD delicately, he treats it seriously.
There is a difference.
If someone mocks you, he's laughing one second and staring at them with frightening stillness the next, "You think she's doing this for fun?" The room immediately quiets.
He doesn't always know the perfect comforting words, but he learns your rituals surprisingly well.
He notices when your breathing changes. Knows exactly how your eyes look before a panic spiral begins. Sometimes he'll deliberately interrupt it. He'll suddenly grab your phone, walk away with it, and make you chase him to force your mind onto him instead of your compulsions.
You yell. He grins.
Later, after you've calmed down, you realize you never finished the ritual that had trapped you-he knew exactly what he was doing.
He's rough around the edges, but astonishingly observant beneath all the chaos.
And when you have nights where you're exhausted from fighting your own mind, he simply sits beside you in complete silence.
No jokes.
No teasing.
Just quiet company.
It's his version of saying, You're not fighting this alone.
Na Baekjin
Baekjin approaches your condition with the same precision he applies to every problem in his life.
He researches medical journals, Psychological articles, Treatment methods, Support techniques. He refuses to rely on assumptions when he can educate himself instead.
He quietly restructures your environment. The apartment is always organized. Cleaning supplies are stocked before they run out. The soap you prefer magically appears before the bottle empties.
You never see him buying these things. They're simply there.
He also learns where accommodation ends and enabling begins.
There are nights when your anxiety begs him to reassure you for the twentieth time that the door is locked. Instead of immediately answering, he kneels in front of you. "Look at me." You do. "What answer are you hoping I'll give that wasn't true the first nineteen times?" His tone isn't harsh, It's steady.
He doesn't feed the obsession. He tries to guide you gently away from it.
Some days you hate him for refusing.
Later, when the panic fades, you thank him.
He always accepts both reactions with the same quiet composure.
Because helping you recover matters more to him than being liked in every moment.
Baek Dongha
Dongha is surprisingly easy to live with because he adapts faster than you expect.
He notices you wiping every shopping cart before using it. The next time, the cart is already clean before you arrive. You hesitate before touching elevator buttons. He presses them first. You avoid public bathrooms. He plans routes around places with cleaner facilities.
He never points out these adjustments. They're woven so seamlessly into daily life that they barely feel noticeable.
When your OCD overwhelms you, he doesn't crowd you with questions. He quietly sits nearby, scrolling through his phone, occasionally offering simple observations.
"Your tea's getting cold."
"You haven't eaten."
"You've been standing there for twenty minutes."
Never accusatory.
Just enough to gently pull your attention back toward reality.
His steadiness becomes strangely comforting.
Like a weighted blanket for your nervous system.
Do Seongmok
Seongmok understands your silence because he speaks so little himself.
He recognizes the exhausted look that settles over your face after spending hours trapped inside your own thoughts. He rarely asks what is wrong. He simply notices.
If he catches you cleaning the same surface repeatedly, he'll silently take the cloth from your hands. You instinctively reach for it again, instead, he laces your fingers with his. Not forcefully, just firmly enough that you stop moving.
He guides you toward the couch. Makes tea. returns with your favorite blanket already folded over one arm. Then he sits beside you.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
His presence says everything words cannot.
When you apologize for how difficult you are, he finally speaks. Only one sentence, "I've never thought that." Then he squeezes your hand once before falling quiet again.
For someone who speaks so little, those four words stay with you longer than entire speeches ever could.