hear me out: toxic situationship between delinquent!martin x popular!reader
reader and martin have a very very veryyyy complicated relationship, from arguments and silent treatments for days to martin climbing into reader’s room at eleven at night and not coming out until the very next day
neither wants to admit that they’re so so so so much more than friends, but reader needs martin to say it first - her ego is higher than mount everest
martin has issues with seeing reader with someone else, let’s say james is always around to suddenly grab him off your latest boy toy
but his dumbass fucks up by getting close to the nice girl: oof, the new girl whose clueless in what she’s getting herself into.
reader obviously hates it, like really fucking hates it
SYPNOSIS your eight year relationship with juhoon abruptly comes to an end
WARNINGS/DISCLAIMERS aged up!juhoon (26 y/o), angst with no comfort, cheating, infidelity, toxic relationship, best friend betrayal, broken engagement, emotional manipulation, emotional breakdown, panic attack, self-neglect, tragic ending, hurt no comfort (more warnings, which i unfortunately cannot mention due to spoilers. read at your own risk!)
NOTE i wanna thank @hyuneskkami for helping me with this masterpiece😋love you mama🥺 and uh…sorry in advance? lol..
you spent the better part of the afternoon humming to yourself as you moved around the apartment, your excitement spilling into every little thing you did. the dining table was dressed more carefully than it had been in months, plates lined up perfectly, glasses polished until they caught the warm glow of the lights, and his favorite dishes spread across the table while the comforting smell of home cooked food filled every corner of the apartment. it had been so long since juhoon had come home before it was dark, so long since the two of you had actually sat down together without him rushing out the door or apologizing through a rushed text message. tonight felt different, and for the first time in months, you let yourself believe that maybe things were finally going back to the way they used to be.
unable to keep your excitement to yourself, you called jiwoo the moment you finished setting everything up. the second she answered, your words came tumbling out faster than you could organize them, your smile so wide that your cheeks already hurt. you told her how juhoon had promised he’d be home for dinner, how you had spent all day cooking, and how it almost felt like you were getting your fiancé back after months of feeling like you were living with a stranger. jiwoo laughed softly at how excited you sounded, teasing you for acting like it was your first date all over again, but beneath her jokes was genuine happiness for you. before hanging up, she told you she hoped the two of you had a wonderful night together, and you promised her you’d tell her all about it tomorrow.
once the call ended, you glanced at the clock, your heart fluttering as you realized he was supposed to be home in five minutes. you smoothed out imaginary wrinkles on the tablecloth, adjusted the silverware one last time, and found yourself walking toward the window every few moments to peek outside, convinced you’d see his familiar car pulling into the driveway. every sound from outside made your heart leap before settling again, and despite how silly it felt, you couldn’t stop smiling.
five minutes turned into fifteen, and fifteen quietly stretched into thirty.
you checked your phone, expecting to see a message saying he’d been caught up at work, but the screen remained empty. after sending him a quick text asking if everything was okay, you convinced yourself there was nothing to worry about. work had always been demanding lately, and maybe he’d simply lost track of time. you tried calling him once, only to hear it ring without an answer before going to voicemail. swallowing your disappointment, you told yourself he’d probably call back any minute.
another thirty minutes crawled by with painful slowness, each tick of the clock growing louder inside the quiet apartment until it was almost unbearable. the food had gone cold, the candles had nearly burned themselves out, and your phone still sat silently beside your plate. you called again, then again, each attempt ending the same way. eventually, the hope you’d been desperately holding onto began slipping through your fingers, replaced by a familiar ache that settled heavily in your chest.
your eyes blurred with tears as you slowly stood from the table, staring at the untouched dinner you had spent hours preparing. your hands trembled while you carried each dish back into the kitchen, scraping the food into the trash one plate at a time. every soft clatter of porcelain against the sink felt louder than it should have, echoing through an apartment that suddenly felt far too empty. by the time you finished washing everything, your cheeks were soaked, and your chest hurt from trying so hard not to cry too loudly.
when there was nothing left to clean, you quietly made your way to the bedroom, changing into your pajamas before climbing beneath the blankets. the space beside you remained cold and untouched, making the bed somehow feel much bigger than it actually was. you curled onto your side, clutching the blanket close as you stared into the darkness, willing yourself to fall asleep so you wouldn’t have to think anymore. no matter how tightly you closed your eyes, sleep refused to come, leaving you alone with every unanswered text, every missed call, and every broken promise circling endlessly through your mind.
another hour passed before the silence was finally broken by the sound of the front door unlocking.
“hey, i’m back. sorry, work ran late.” his voice drifted through the apartment as casually as if nothing had happened, and instinctively, you squeezed your eyes shut. you didn’t have the energy to confront him, nor did you trust yourself not to burst into tears the second you looked at him. instead, you forced your breathing into a slow, even rhythm, praying he’d believe you were already asleep.
“y/n?” his footsteps echoed down the hallway before stopping outside the bedroom door. you remained perfectly still, barely daring to breathe as the door creaked open.
“oh, she’s asleep. thank god.”
the quiet scoff that followed struck harder than anything else could have.
your heart seemed to stop altogether before sinking painfully into your stomach. there wasn’t relief in his voice because he was glad you were resting. there was relief because he didn’t have to face you. because he didn’t have to explain himself, apologize, or even pretend to care about how long you’d spent waiting for him. the realization hurt more than being stood up ever could.
a few moments later, he disappeared into the bathroom, and the sound of the shower soon filled the apartment. you lay frozen beneath the blankets, staring into the darkness with tears silently slipping down your face. they soaked into your pillow one after another as the water continued running behind the bathroom door, drowning out the quiet sound of your heart breaking.
at some point, exhaustion became stronger than the ache inside your chest, and despite the tears still staining your face, sleep finally pulled you under.
the next morning, you woke up to an empty bed and a silent apartment. the space beside you was already cold, the sheets neatly pulled back as if juhoon had left hours ago without making a sound. you slowly pushed yourself upright, your body feeling strangely heavy despite having slept through the night. your eyes settled on the blank wall across from the bed, and you simply sat there for several long minutes, unable to find the motivation to move. the events from the night before replayed in your mind over and over again, and the pit in your stomach only seemed to grow deeper with every passing second.
eventually, you reached over to your nightstand and grabbed your phone with tired hands. without thinking twice, you scrolled to jiwoo’s contact and pressed call. she answered almost immediately, her cheerful greeting fading the second she heard the silence on your end.
“hey, can i come over?” you asked quietly, your voice sounding much weaker than you intended.
“of course. is it juhoon again?”
you instinctively nodded before realizing she couldn’t see you through the phone. you let out a quiet breath, rubbing your forehead as exhaustion settled over you.
“yeah. i’ll be there in a few.” you ended the call before she could ask anything else, knowing that if she did, you’d probably start crying all over again.
after washing your face and changing into clean clothes, you quietly left the apartment. the morning air was cool against your skin, and although jiwoo only lived ten minutes away, the walk somehow felt much longer than usual. your feet carried you there on autopilot while your mind remained occupied with unanswered questions, each one heavier than the last. by the time you reached her front door and knocked, it swung open almost immediately, revealing jiwoo already waiting for you with concern written across her face.
she didn’t ask any questions as she stepped aside to let you in, simply wrapping an arm around your shoulders before leading you into the living room. the familiar comfort of her home usually helped calm your nerves, but today, even that felt distant.
as you settled onto the couch, you caught a scent lingering in the room that didn’t belong there. it was unmistakably men’s cologne, fresh enough that whoever had been wearing it couldn’t have left very long ago. you glanced toward jiwoo with a small, tired smile.
“was your boyfriend here?”
a bright blush immediately spread across her cheeks as she sheepishly nodded. “i kicked him out before you came here.”
despite everything weighing on your chest, you couldn’t help letting out a soft laugh.
“i wonder when you’ll finally let me meet him.”
her grin widened, her excitement momentarily overpowering her embarrassment. “soon. i already have something planned.”
you smiled back, genuinely happy for her, even if only for a brief moment.
before long, however, the conversation inevitably drifted back to juhoon.
you told her everything, from the dinner you had spent hours preparing to the endless calls he ignored, the cold food sitting untouched on the table, and the tears you shed while throwing everything away. then you described the moment he finally came home two hours late, the casual apology he offered, and the words that hadn’t stopped echoing in your mind since last night.
“oh, she’s asleep. thank god.”
your voice cracked as you repeated them aloud. “he sounded… relieved. like he didn’t want me awake.”
jiwoo remained silent for several moments, carefully choosing her words before finally speaking. “y/n… has the thought about another woman ever crossed your mind?”
the question caught you completely off guard. you stared at her in confusion, almost certain you had misheard.
“another woman?” you repeated quietly. “jiwoo, what are you talking about? why would he…” your voice began trembling as you shook your head. “no. stop. that’s impossible.”
jiwoo sighed softly, her expression filled with guilt. “just think about it. why would he immediately shower after coming back? why is work always running late? why has he been so distant?”
every word felt like another crack forming beneath your feet. you shook your head more firmly, refusing to let yourself even entertain the possibility. “jiwoo, no. stop it. why would he propose to me if there was another woman?”
for a long moment, she simply looked at you, then her gaze slowly dropped to the diamond ring resting on your finger. “maybe… he didn’t want you to find out.”
the room suddenly felt too quiet.
you stared at her, unable to process what she had just said. it wasn’t anger you felt first, but disbelief. complete, overwhelming disbelief. the idea itself sounded absurd. impossible. after everything the two of you had been through together, after growing up side by side since high school, after nearly a decade of loving each other, after getting engaged only months ago, how could she even suggest something like that?
before you realized what you were doing, you were already standing. “i have to go.”
jiwoo immediately stood as well. “y/n…”
“i need to clean the house.” you grabbed your coat before she could stop you.
“y/n, i’m sorry. it was just a thought. come on, you can’t—”
you didn’t let her finish. you walked straight out the front door, pulling it shut behind you with enough force that it slammed through the quiet neighborhood.
the walk home felt colder than before.
your vision blurred as tears burned behind your eyes, and no matter how many times you blinked them away, they kept returning. you couldn’t believe jiwoo would even suggest something like that. juhoon cheating on you had never crossed your mind, not even once. the idea felt so ridiculous that your brain refused to accept it.
you had been together since high school.
the two of you were twenty six years old now.
you had built your entire adult lives together.
there was simply no way.
the moment you stepped back into the apartment, you threw yourself into cleaning before your thoughts had a chance to catch up. it had always been your way of coping whenever life became too overwhelming. if your mind felt messy, you cleaned until everything around you looked perfect. you dusted every shelf, wiped every countertop until it shined, vacuumed every room twice, and scrubbed surfaces that didn’t even need cleaning. hours passed without you noticing, your body moving automatically while your thoughts remained painfully loud.
eventually, all that remained was the laundry.
you carried the basket into the bathroom before separating everything into piles. your pink sweater landed first, followed by your jeans, a handful of shirts, towels, and finally one of juhoon’s blue work blouses.
you reached toward the washing machine, intending to throw it in with the rest.
something made you stop. your eyes narrowed slightly as you noticed a faint streak of red near the collar. confused, you lifted the blouse closer.
your breathing hitched.
the small red mark wasn’t random.
it wasn’t sauce. it wasn’t ink.
it was lipstick.
your heart lurched violently against your ribs as a wave of nausea rolled through your stomach. your fingers tightened around the fabric while your legs suddenly felt too weak to support your weight. your entire body went cold as your hands began trembling uncontrollably, the room around you seeming to blur for just a second.
unable to stop yourself, you slowly brought the collar closer to your face.
you inhaled.
it wasn’t your perfume and it definitely wasn’t your lipstick.
it was someone else’s.
a sweet floral scent lingered on the fabric, unmistakably feminine. your vision flooded with tears before you even realized you were crying.
with shaking hands, you shoved the blouse into the washing machine so forcefully that it hit the metal drum with a dull thud. you dumped in the detergent without measuring it, slammed the door shut, and pressed the start button so hard your finger hurt.
the machine whirred to life.
you couldn’t.
you couldn’t look at it anymore.
stumbling backward, you rushed out of the bathroom as sobs finally tore free from your chest, hot tears pouring endlessly down your face.
this couldn’t be happening.
not to you.
not to the two of you.
not after everything.
the rest of the day passed in complete silence, and for the first time in years, you never once reached for your phone to text juhoon. no good morning message, no asking if he’d eaten, no wondering what time he’d be home, and no reminding him to drive safely. your conversations had already grown scarce over the past few months, but today, you couldn’t bring yourself to send even a single word. after everything that had happened, after the lipstick stain and the unfamiliar perfume lingering on his shirt, you didn’t know what you were supposed to say anymore.
once you finished cleaning every inch of the apartment, exhaustion finally settled over you. you curled up on the couch with your phone in your hands, absentmindedly scrolling through social media while your mind remained somewhere else entirely. nothing you looked at managed to hold your attention for more than a few seconds before your thoughts wandered back to the same place. every now and then, another tear escaped your eyes, quietly sliding down your cheeks as you stared blankly at your screen, too emotionally drained to even wipe them away right away.
without warning, the sound of the front door unlocking echoed through the apartment.
your head immediately snapped toward the entrance, and you hurriedly brushed the tears from your face with the sleeve of your sweater before sitting up straighter. a second later, juhoon stepped inside, loosening his tie as if today had been no different from any other day. your eyebrows knitted together in confusion the moment you saw him.
it almost felt cruel.
every single time you had something planned with him, every dinner, every movie night, every little date you had looked forward to, he somehow ended up working late or canceling altogether. yet on the days when you expected nothing from him, when there were no plans waiting for him at home, he somehow managed to walk through the front door while the sun was still out.
“hey.” his voice pulled you from your thoughts as he looked over at you with a small smile. “our anniversary is this sunday. i booked us a reservation at your favorite restaurant.”
you simply stared up at him from the couch, your face completely unreadable. instead of smiling back like you normally would have, one quiet question left your lips. “how come you didn’t have to work late again?”
the smile disappeared almost instantly. his shoulders tensed, and the annoyance that crossed his face wasn’t subtle enough for him to hide. “don’t start, y/n. you know i have no control over my work schedule.”
you held his gaze for several long seconds before letting out a quiet, humorless laugh.
“fine then.” your voice remained calm, almost too calm. “we’ll go to the restaurant on sunday.”
you slowly stood from the couch, slipping your phone into your pocket as you walked past him. “let’s see if you actually show up.”
you didn’t bother looking back as you headed toward the bedroom, but you heard his footsteps following closely behind you.
“why are you mad about this again?” he asked, frustration becoming more obvious with every word. “i’ve told you countless times that my work schedule can change at any time.”
his explanation sounded exactly like every other excuse he’d given over the past several months.
only this time, you didn’t believe it.
not after that blouse.
you slowly turned around until you were facing him again, your expression empty despite the storm raging inside your chest. “aren’t you gonna shower?”
the question seemed to catch him completely off guard.
you tilted your head ever so slightly, refusing to look away. “you always shower after coming home late from work, right?”
the color drained from his face so quickly that it almost startled you.
his eyes widened for only a fraction of a second before he tried forcing his expression back into something neutral, but it was already too late.
you had seen it.
the panic.
the hesitation.
the guilt.
neither of you spoke.
the bedroom fell into a suffocating silence as you simply stared at one another, neither willing to break eye contact. your heart pounded so violently that you could hear it in your ears, and although you desperately wanted him to deny it, to laugh and ask what you were talking about, he never did.
instead, after what felt like an eternity, he quietly looked away.
“sure,” he finally muttered. “i’ll go shower.”
without another word, he began unbuttoning his blue blouse as he walked past you toward the bathroom.
the sound of the bathroom door clicking shut echoed through the apartment.
you stood there for only a moment before turning away yourself, your legs suddenly feeling too weak to keep you standing. somehow, you managed to make it back into the living room before the first tear escaped.
then another.
and another.
soon, they were falling faster than you could wipe them away. you sank back onto the couch, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle the quiet sob that escaped your throat.
you hated it.
you hated that the tiny seed jiwoo had planted in your mind was beginning to grow.
because after seeing the look on juhoon’s face, you were starting to believe she had been right all along.
sunday arrived far quicker than you wanted it to, carrying with it the anniversary you had spent days trying not to think about. the afternoon before, you had gone shopping with jiwoo, wandering through boutiques while she laughed beside you as if everything between the two of you was perfectly normal. together, you picked out a delicate necklace, matching earrings, a pair of heels that made you feel elegant, and a soft pink dress that immediately reminded you of all the times juhoon had smiled and told you that pink was your color. you smiled along with her, forcing yourself to ignore the strange feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach.
you weren’t even sure why you had spent so much money or why you had put so much effort into preparing for tonight. maybe somewhere deep inside, beneath all the doubt and fear, you were desperately clinging to the hope that you had misunderstood everything. maybe the lipstick had some innocent explanation. maybe the perfume belonged to a coworker who had hugged him goodbye. maybe he really had been working late all those nights. maybe this distance between the two of you was just a rough patch that would disappear as suddenly as it had appeared.
after all, he wouldn’t ask you to marry him just to make sure cheating would never cross your mind.
right?
you refused to let yourself think any further.
for nearly three hours, you stood in front of the mirror, carefully getting ready. you slipped into the pink dress because you remembered how his face used to light up whenever you wore that color. you applied your makeup exactly the way he always said made your eyes look beautiful, curled your hair the way he loved running his fingers through it, and chose every piece of jewelry with careful attention. by the time you finished, you hardly recognized yourself anymore. every little detail had been chosen with one hope in mind.
that maybe he would finally look at you again.
he had promised to pick you up after work.
so you waited.
the first thirty minutes passed quietly as you sat by the window with your phone resting in your lap. after sending him a quick message asking if he was on his way, you smiled to yourself, convincing yourself that he was probably caught in traffic. he hated texting while driving, and you had always respected that, so you patiently waited for another notification to appear.
none ever did.
one hour passed.
then another.
then a third.
the sunlight slowly disappeared beyond the windows, leaving the apartment darker with every passing minute until you were sitting alone in complete silence, still wearing the dress you had spent hours preparing yourself in.
your phone remained silent.
just like every other time.
the tears came before you even realized you were crying.
your vision blurred as you unlocked your phone and opened your messages with trembling hands.
can you come over?
he ghosted me again.
jiwoo replied almost immediately.
come over. now.
you stared at her message for several seconds before quietly standing up.
there was no point wearing the dress anymore.
you carefully unzipped it, folded it back into its garment bag, slipped your heels off, and changed into comfortable clothes instead. after tying your hair into a simple ponytail, you grabbed your keys and left the apartment without another thought.
the walk to jiwoo’s house felt strangely quiet.
your mind was numb.
your heart was exhausted.
when you finally reached her front door, you knocked twice before waiting.
no answer.
assuming she hadn’t heard you, you entered the familiar code she had shared with you years ago and let yourself inside like you had done countless times before.
the moment you stepped into the living room, your entire world shattered.
time seemed to stop.
your breathing caught painfully in your throat as your eyes landed on the couch.
jiwoo and juhoon.
his hand was resting against her waist. her fingers were tangled in his hair. their lips were pressed together.
they were making out.
for a second, your brain refused to understand what your eyes were seeing.
everything around you blurred.
your ears rang.
your knees nearly gave out beneath you. “…what the fuck.”
your voice came out barely louder than a whisper. they immediately jerked apart.
juhoon’s eyes shot toward you, every ounce of color draining from his face before panic completely overtook his expression. he shoved jiwoo away from him so abruptly that she stumbled backward against the couch cushions.
tears flooded your eyes almost instantly.
you couldn’t breathe.
you couldn’t think.
all you could do was stare at your fiancé and your best friend.
the woman who had been more like a sister to you than anyone else.
“y/n…” juhoon’s voice cracked as he hurried to his feet. “what are you… why are you here?!”
he quickly started walking toward you.
your gaze drifted past him.
jiwoo was still sitting comfortably on the couch. she wasn’t crying or shocked. she wasn’t apologizing, either.
intead, she was smiling.
no.
she was smirking.
the expression on her face made something inside you click into place.
your eyes slowly widened as every late night, every canceled dinner, every ignored phone call, every conversation you had ever had with her came crashing together all at once.
your lips trembled. “you…” your voice barely existed anymore. “you did this on purpose.”
jiwoo’s smile didn’t disappear.
“every time we had something planned…” another tear rolled down your cheek. “every single time i told you about it…”
the realization hit you so violently that it almost made you sick. “you kept him from coming.”
silence filled the room.
juhoon’s breathing became uneven.
before you could even process what was happening, his hand suddenly wrapped around your wrist.
“y/n.” he pulled you toward the front door. “come outside.”
your feet stumbled after him in complete shock as he hurried you out of the apartment and into the hallway before finally letting go.
the door slammed shut behind the two of you. for several seconds, you simply stood there, your mind struggling to catch up with reality.
then you looked down at his hand which was still wrapped around your wrist.
anger exploded through your body. you ripped your arm away with all the strength you had before forcefully shoving him backward.
he stumbled several steps before catching himself.
“you have some nerve, kim juhoon.” your voice shook violently through your sobs as tears streamed uncontrollably down your face. “why did you propose to me?”
he stared at you in complete panic, his own eyes beggining to fill with tears.
“y/n, i swear to you…” his voice cracked. “you’re the one i love.”
he desperately shook his head. “i don’t love jiwoo. please, believe me.” he took another cautious step toward you. “you’re the one i want.”
the words reached your ears, but after everything you had just seen, they had never sounded more meaningless.
the walk back to the apartment felt endless, even though neither of you said much. juhoon stayed only a few steps behind you the entire time, his voice constantly breaking the silence as he begged you to slow down, to look at him, to let him explain. every few seconds, he called your name again, his words growing more desperate when you refused to even acknowledge that he was there. you kept your eyes fixed straight ahead, your vision blurred by tears that refused to stop falling, while your chest ached so badly that every breath felt painful. somewhere behind you, you could hear him crying too, but the sound only made something inside you twist even tighter.
by the time you reached your apartment building, your hands were shaking so violently that you struggled to unlock the front door. the second you stepped inside, you didn’t bother taking off your shoes. juhoon hurried in after you, closing the door behind him as he continued pleading with you.
“y/n, please. just listen to me.”
you acted as though he hadn’t spoken at all.
instead, you marched straight into the bedroom and yanked open the closet doors with enough force that they slammed against the wall. before juhoon could understand what you were doing, you had already begun grabbing armfuls of his clothes and throwing them onto the floor. shirts, jeans, hoodies, jackets, everything you could reach landed in a growing pile at your feet, each piece hitting the ground harder than the last as months of heartbreak poured into every movement.
“what… what are you doing?! y/n!” he rushed forward and grabbed both of your shoulders, forcing you to turn toward him.
the moment your eyes met his, another sob tore from your throat. without hesitation, you shoved him away as hard as you could.
“pack your shit.” your voice cracked so badly it barely sounded like your own. “go move in with jiwoo since you love her so much.”
you grabbed one of his hoodies from the closet and threw it directly at his chest. it fell uselessly onto the floor between the two of you.
juhoon stared at you as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “are you insane?” he asked, his voice trembling with panic. “what are you talking about? you’re not thinking straight, y/n.”
the words shattered what little control you still had.
“isn’t that funny?” you cried, tears pouring endlessly down your face. “because i thought i was going insane for months trying to figure out why my fiancé suddenly stopped loving me.”
your breathing became uneven as another sob escaped. “it’s our fucking eight year anniversary, juhoon.” your voice echoed through the apartment. “eight years.”
you grabbed another armful of clothes and threw them at him one after another. “eight years i’ve spent loving you, only for you to make every single one of them a waste.”
another hoodie struck his shoulder before falling to the floor. “go live with fucking jiwoo, you piece of shit.”
your voice broke completely. “go.”
juhoon ran both hands through his hair, tears spilling freely down his own face as frustration finally overtook him.
“can’t you just listen to me for one second?” he shouted. “just—fuck!— listen to me!”
you didn’t answer, instead, you grabbed his wrist and began dragging him toward the front door with every ounce of strength you had left.
“get out.”
he resisted. “y/n…”
“get out!”
suddenly, he pushed you away harder than he meant to.
your body stumbled backward before your back slammed violently against the wall. the impact knocked the air straight out of your lungs.
a sharp pain spread across your back as you instinctively gasped for breath, your knees threatening to give out beneath you.
everything became quiet.
neither of you moved.
juhoon’s expression changed almost instantly. the anger disappeared from his face, replaced by horror. his eyes darted over your trembling figure as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just done.
after several painfully long seconds, he slowly stepped toward you. “hey…” his voice had become almost a whisper. “are you okay?”
another hesitant step. “i’m sorry. i…”
before he could finish speaking, your hand flew across his face.
the slap echoed through the apartment.
his head snapped to the side from the force of it.
for several seconds, neither of you moved.
juhoon slowly lifted a hand to his cheek, his eyes wide with complete disbelief as he looked back at you.
your face remained empty.
there was no anger left.
no screaming.
no energy.
just heartbreak.
he stared at you for what felt like forever before his shoulders slowly slumped.
without saying another word, he bent down and silently gathered a few of the clothes scattered across the floor. he didn’t try to explain himself again. he didn’t beg you to stay. he simply walked toward the front door with tears still falling down his face.
the door opened, then quietly closed behind him. the sound of it clicking shut echoed through the apartment.
your legs finally gave out.
you collapsed onto the floor where you stood, your entire body shaking as loud, uncontrollable sobs tore through your chest. the apartment that had once been filled with laughter, late night conversations, and dreams of a future together now felt unbearably empty.
the next four days blurred together until you could barely tell where one ended and another began. every hour felt exactly the same, every morning looked identical to every night, and time no longer seemed to matter. the apartment had become painfully quiet without juhoon’s presence, yet somehow it still felt like he was everywhere. his mug still sat in the kitchen cabinet, his shampoo remained untouched in the bathroom, and a few of his hoodies were still hanging where you had forgotten to throw them out. every room carried memories that now felt impossible to escape.
you hadn’t showered once.
you hadn’t brushed your teeth.
you hadn’t eaten anything besides taking a few absentminded sips of water whenever your throat became too dry to cry anymore.
most days, you didn’t even leave your bed.
you simply lay beneath the blankets with the curtains drawn shut, staring blankly at the ceiling until your eyes filled with tears all over again. sleep rarely came, and when it did, it only lasted an hour or two before you woke up expecting to find everything had just been a nightmare. every single time, reality came crashing back before you had even fully opened your eyes.
your phone never stopped buzzing.
every thirty minutes, almost like clockwork, another notification lit up your screen.
they were always from juhoon.
at first, he begged you to answer.
then he apologized.
then he apologized again.
he told you he missed you more than words could explain. he said he wished he could go back and undo everything. he admitted he was staying alone in a hotel because he couldn’t bring himself to return to the apartment after what happened. he promised you he hadn’t spoken to jiwoo once in the four days since you caught them together.
every message ended the same way.
please talk to me.
please.
you never replied.
you couldn’t.
every time you saw his name appear across your screen, your chest tightened until breathing became difficult all over again.
the silence from jiwoo hurt just as much.
there wasn’t a single apology.
not one explanation.
not even an excuse.
after everything the two of you had shared throughout your lives, she had simply disappeared as though none of it had ever mattered.
that somehow made everything feel even more cruel.
it was nearly one in the morning when another wave of sobs overtook you.
your face was buried deep in your pillow as tears soaked through the fabric for what felt like the hundredth time that week. your eyes burned from crying so much, your head pounded relentlessly, and your entire body ached from lying in the same position for hours.
then your phone vibrated again.
you almost ignored it.
almost.
with trembling fingers, you reached across the mattress and unlocked your screen.
your heart immediately sank.
come to the rooftop.
you stared at the message without moving.
the words seemed so simple, yet they carried a weight that made your stomach twist painfully. you considered locking your phone again and pretending you had never seen it but before you could decide, another notification appeared.
please.
we have to talk sooner or later.
your thumb hovered over the screen as you read the message again and again and again.
nearly a full minute passed before you finally let out a shaky breath.
maybe he was right. whether it happened tonight or weeks from now, this conversation couldn’t be avoided forever.
slowly, you pushed the blankets away from your body and sat upright.
the movement alone made your head spin. your muscles protested after spending so many days curled up in bed, and a dull ache immediately settled behind your eyes. you remained sitting on the edge of the mattress until the dizziness faded enough for you to stand.
your reflection in the bathroom mirror barely resembled the person you remembered.
your eyes were swollen from days of crying, dark circles rested heavily beneath them, and your hair had become tangled and greasy after nearly a week without washing it.
for a long moment, you simply stared at yourself.
then you quietly reached for your toothbrush. the familiar mint taste almost felt foreign after four days. once you finished, you gathered your hair into a messy ponytail with trembling hands before taking one last look at your reflection.
after slipping your phone into your pocket, you quietly stepped into the hallway.
every footstep echoed softly as you climbed the stairs toward the rooftop, your heartbeat growing louder with every floor you passed. by the time you reached the final door, your hand rested against the handle, but you couldn’t bring yourself to push it open.
fear settled heavily in your chest.
you didn’t know what he was going to say. you weren’t sure you even wanted to hear it.
closing your eyes for only a second, you took one slow, shaky breath before you turned the handle.
the rooftop was almost exactly the way you remembered it.
the cool night breeze drifted across the concrete, carrying the faint sounds of traffic from far below while the moon hung high above the city, glowing softly against the dark sky. juhoon stood with his back facing you, his hands resting inside the pockets of his jacket as he quietly looked up at it.
for a moment, everything around you disappeared.
your mind dragged you backward through years of memories you had spent trying to forget over the last few days. nights spent sitting together against the rooftop wall with steaming cups of convenience store ramen balanced on your knees, laughing until your stomach hurt over absolutely nothing, listening to him ramble while you watched the moon instead of him because he always knew that was where your attention wandered. he never got jealous of it. if anything, he always smiled whenever he caught you staring at the sky, gently nudging your shoulder before pointing out a brighter star or a passing plane just to make you smile.
he knew how much the moon meant to you.
he knew it had always been your favorite place.
slowly, he turned around. the second his eyes landed on you, relief washed over his exhausted features. his lips curved into a small, fragile smile. “you came.”
before he could say anything else, you crossed the distance between the two of you in quick, angry steps.
your hand collided sharply against his cheek. the crack echoed across the empty rooftop.
the slap wasn’t nearly as hard as the first one, but it still forced his head to turn slightly.
he didn’t lift a hand to defend himself.
he didn’t tell you to stop.
he simply looked back at you in silence.
the red mark blooming across his cheek was the only sign he’d even felt it.
“you’re a piece of shit, juhoon.” your voice trembled violently. “i don’t even know why you kept me around.”
tears blurred your vision again. “if you fell out of love with me, then you should’ve broken up with me.”
he lowered his head. a tear slipped from beneath his lashes before disappearing onto the concrete below.
he nodded slowly, accepting every word without interruption.
that only made you angrier. “you stayed with me for eight years.” your breathing became increasingly uneven.
“eight years.” another sob escaped before you forced yourself to continue.
“you proposed to me…” your hand instinctively clenched around the engagement ring still resting on your finger.
“for what?” you laughed bitterly through your tears. “just so you could cheat on me with my best friend?” your voice cracked. “that’s why?”
juhoon remained silent. his shoulders shook almost imperceptibly. “jiwoo probably doesn’t even fucking like you.”
another step, then another. “she used you.” you were close enough now to see fresh tears streaming down his face. “she did it because she wanted to ruin me.”
he slowly took another step backward without thinking. his heel landed dangerously close to the edge.
his eyes flickered behind him, and the realization crossed his face immediately.
he straightened slightly. “y/n…” his voice was barely above a whisper. “back up a little.”
you didn’t even hear him. all you could hear was your own heartbeat pounding violently inside your ears.
all you could see was every broken promise.
every ignored phone call.
every empty chair across the dinner table.
every tear you had cried alone.
“i loved you.” your voice broke completely.
you took another step.
“i loved you so much it hurt.”
you stood directly in front of him now. your finger pressed sharply against the center of his chest.
“i always put you before myself.” your shove wasn’t hard. it barely moved him.
“i always cared more about your feelings than my own.”
his breathing quickened. “y/n…” his voice became urgent. “i’m gonna…”
you didn’t stop.
“i truly…” your finger jabbed against his chest a second time. “…hope it was worth it.”
the movement was small. so small that, later, your mind would replay it a thousand times trying to convince yourself it hadn’t happened.
his foot searched for solid ground but there wasn’t any.
his weight shifted backward, his eyes widening.
his arms instinctively reached outward, desperately searching for something to hold onto.
there was nothing.
“y/n.” your name escaped his lips in a frightened whisper.
his body tilted farther backward while you watched it happen in horrifying slow motion.
his balance disappeared completely, his shoes slipping over the edge.
for one impossible second, he seemed suspended in the air, his face frozen somewhere between shock and regret as the wind caught his jacket.
then gravity took him.
“juhoon!” the scream tore itself from your throat before you even realized you had moved.
you lunged forward, throwing yourself toward the edge with both hands outstretched.
your fingertips brushed against his and for the briefest fraction of a second, they touched.
then they slipped apart.
his hand remained reaching toward you as he fell, fingers desperately extended as though he still believed you could somehow pull him back.
tears streamed freely from his eyes, carried upward by the rushing wind.
he never looked away from you.
not once.
your name formed silently on his lips again, then he disappeared beneath the edge.
“no!” you collapsed onto your knees as you looked over the rooftop.
far below, his body plummeted toward the pavement impossibly fast, becoming smaller and smaller until a sickening thud echoed through the night.
the sound ripped through you.
it didn’t even seem real.
for one long, unbearable second everything became silent.
then came the screaming.
distant voices rose from the street below, filled with confusion and horror as people rushed toward where he had fallen. someone cried out for an ambulance. another voice shouted for someone to call the police.
your entire body went numb.
you stumbled backward away from the edge so quickly that you nearly fell yourself.
your hands flew to your mouth.
your chest tightened so violently that no matter how desperately you tried to inhale, your lungs refused to cooperate.
air wouldn’t come.
your heartbeat became deafening.
your vision blurred until you could barely see through the tears pouring uncontrollably down your face.
instinct took over.
before anyone below could think to look upward, you retreated farther into the darkness of the rooftop, pressing yourself against the wall with trembling legs that refused to hold your weight.
your entire body shook uncontrollably.
you clutched at your chest, desperately trying to force yourself to breathe, but every breath caught painfully in your throat before dissolving into another broken sob.
this wasn’t supposed to happen.
you hadn’t wanted this.
you had only wanted answers.
instead, the man you had loved for eight years had disappeared over the edge right in front of you, and the image of his outstretched hand reaching helplessly toward yours burned itself into your mind so deeply that you knew you would never escape it.
pairing: class president!eom seonghyeon x brat!reader ft. swimmer!ahn keonho
genre: high school!au, love triangle, situationship!au.
warnings: everyone here is eighteen, swearing, lowkey mean reader at times, hanni&danielle from newjeans/ian from h2h, ryul&ohyul from lngshot appearance, an almost kiss, parties, drinking, hyeon kinda sucks with his feelings, reader is very dramatic, casual situationship break down.
synopsis - you’ve liked class president eom seonghyeon ever since, from random students asking you if you two were dating or even his own best friends teasing the life out of you both - counting down the days until the confirmation of your relationship. what happens when you finally believe he likes you back only for everything to crumble? thank god for cute swimming champions.
authors note: thank u all for waiting! i’m dividing this into two posts, or possibly even a series.
you slammed your locker shut harshly, annoyed that your rhode lip balm had become out of stock both online and in store; students noticing the thunderstorm above your head, making a beeline to get out of your way in the campus hallways.
already in a bad mood, your day was about to get a lot more irritating as kwon mirae’s eyes followed on the length of your school skirt.
“ y/n, you know the rules. your skirt is not appropriate.” your eyes instantly rolled to the back of your head, staring down at her whilst chewing on your grape flavoured bubblegum - her constant warnings were useless, as if you would even listen to the vice president.
well then again, you never really listened to anyone unless it was your parents.
“ the skirt is ugly, no one would wear that shit normally.” you crossed your arms, watching her face become irritated - trying her best to actually get you to listen for once. you and mirae were at each other’s throats all the time, she was always trying to land you in detention or in the principal’s office.
luckily for you, your father had donated enough money to the school for principal kwon to dismiss all your warnings.
“ you realise this isn’t a fashion show?” she argued back grabbing a detention slip from her pocket, beginning to write your name like you would actually attend the after school detention with the weirdos and so called bad kids.
“ clearly not, seeing the way you dress.” you murmur, noticing other students were trying to listen in on your conversation; sending them a glare.
mirae was about to reply back before her eyes shifted to something behind you, closing her mouth at the sight. as crazy as you are, you instantly smelled the familiar jo malone cologne - the sweet smell filling your senses. turning your head you make eye contact with class president eom seonghyeon, looking ever so handsome in his uniform. suddenly your entire mood shifted, a smile plastered over your face.
“ be nice, n/n.” he called out, walking over to stand right beside you. “ what’s happening, girls?” your smile drops everytime you look back at mirae, only upholding your sweet look in front of seonghyeon.
“ she’s bothering me, hyeon. she’s trying to make me wear the ugly skirts.” you intertwined your arm around his bicep, seeing mirae seriously roll her eyes at your action. you somehow managed to always weasel your way out of trouble, especially with seonghyeon as class president.
“ that’s not it seonghyeon, she just won’t listen.” she argues back, pointing her finger.
you couldn’t help but try argue back, only for seonghyeon to place his hand out in front of your body to get you to stop. “ i’ll deal with her, it’s fine mirae. i’ll get her to class early on time.” he got in between the both of you, seeing you two stare each other down like mortal enemies.
seonghyeon was the reason why you also never had any detentions or got into trouble, he vouched for you every time. you share a grin towards mirae’s face, knowing you definitely wouldn’t be getting lectured at all.
the vice president scoffed and stormed off.
ha.
“ she’s so fucking annoying, hyeon i swear.” you let go of his arm, facing him as you fix your hair out of frustration. “ i can’t believe she’s always making me out to be such a bad person.” seonghyeon shakes his head, the cutie he was.
there was something astonishing about the situationship between you two, definitely more than friends but never officially claimed as lovers.
“ don’t listen to her n/n, now come on. we’re gonna be late to class.” he says, grabbing onto your bag for him to carry whilst you stayed rambling on about the gossip within your girls’ groupchat - how ian was talking to someone boy named jaehyun now.
as soon as the two of you entered the classroom together, your classmates let out a range of oohs and teasing noises - especially hanni and martin. the biggest y/nhyeon shippers, fighting each other for the title of captain.
“ my favourite unofficial couple!” hanni giggled, moving her bag over from your shared desk. you two sat together whilst danielle and ian were seatmates on the desk in front. luckily, the boys were on the other side of the classroom which meant you four could talk freely without being eavesdropped on.
unfortunately martin had the consequences of being caught trying to listen in onto your girls’ gossip sessions, which lead to hanni throwing her pencil case at the back of his head.
seonghyeon didn’t say anything to her teasing and neither did you, sitting down on your seats. “ soooo the party tonight?” ian wiggles her eyebrows, reminding you of the celebration party that ryul kim was hosting and personally invited the four of you girls to attend. ryul’s parties were always the craziest - project x type. “ i’m totally down, i need a drink anyways.” you mumble, fixing your lip gloss through your compact mirror.
danielle and hanni both agreed before you grabbed a piece of paper from your notebook, scrunching it up and throwing it at the back of james’ back. the older was about to complain before realising it was just you who threw it, “ are you guys going to ryul’s tonight?” danielle asked - starting a conversation with the boys from the other side of the room.
thank god it was just a study period, which meant no teacher was present and only the class president looked after the class. “ yeah we’re going, probably at 10 or something. won and ni-ki are going too.” juhoon answered, drawing some stick figure on the front of martin’s notebook.
“ i’m surprised he invited us, knowing his little crush on our y/n.” martin snorted, trying to make the tension uncomfortable. he was mentioning the small thing you and ryul had in grade ten after his school visited yours for a volleyball game, his attempt in looking for any jealousy on seonghyeon’s face.
it was this thing him and hanni did; trying to forcibly have proven evidence of your feelings and seonghyeon’s feelings for each other. you blantly shared with everyone your feelings for him, but he still hadn’t clarified anything.
“ that was such a long time ago man, they’re just friends.” seonghyeon blurts out - hanni and martin’s entertainment rising.
that’s exactly what you wanted to hear; seonghyeon caring about you with another guy - rumoured or not. you wanted him to tell you how much he cared, not just with his actions but his words. you’ve been waiting for him to confess ever since the tenth grade where you first began noticing how cute seonghyeon was.
“ yeah but they’re both hot so who knows?” hanni teases, everyone simultaneously trying to analyse the look on his face. it didn’t take an idiot to see seonghyeon was hiding the bothered look on his face, taking a quick glance back at you before replying to your friend.
“ yeah, who knows.”
that one glance set your heart rate rising, yes you seemed delusional but after getting continuous signs - you didn’t seem that crazy after all. glances meant everything, that’s what old rom coms used to tell you - it’s all in the eyes, they tell you everything.
the conversation quickly moved on with james mentioning his upcoming hockey game, your interest died down as everyone’s voices started to blur out. only an hour into school and you just wanted to go home and sleep for all of eternity. on the other hand seonghyeon noticed you spacing out, a small grin on his face watching you focus on the gems on your acrylics - ones he helped you choose the other week.
your phone buzzed against the table, only to see his name spread across your screen. looking up to see his eyes meeting yours. you mouth, “ but you’re right here?” in return he shakes his head, pointing down at his phone for you to continue your private chat meanwhile everyone else was fighting over what drinks they were bringing to the party tonight.
10:21AM:
hyeon: busy thinking about something?
me: u stalking me eom seonghyeon?
hyeon: nope i just careeeee
me: i know u do, who wouldn’t
hyeon: yk we have that assignment coming up next week
me: ew don’t even start w that, i’ll just get hyunwoo to do it for me
hyeon: don’t do that
hyeon: you have me, i’ll help u
me: but its so easy to have someone do it
hyeon: nope, i’m helping you.
me: yes sir
hyeon: now we should get off our phones before ian tries playing games on it
me: dont miss me too much
hyeon: i won’t
hanni notices the smile on your face beaming down at your phone, slightly leaning to catch a glimpse of what you were giggling on about. she couldn’t help but reflect the same facial expression realising it was seonghyeon you were texting.
eyes instantly laid on you and your girls the second you entered ryul’s house - seeing familiar faces already plastered and dancing around the house. flashing party lights shone across the walls as people had the time of their lives. “ what took you so long?” martin’s loud voice rang through your ears, finding his way to you four with a red cup in his hands. “ miss l/n over here had to blow her hair out, duh.” danielle wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you so close - pretending to flirt.
you swished your hair around to show off in front of the tall blonde who kept complimenting your outfit, “ looking hot.” he stated before guiding you to where the rest of the boys were; in the large pool area. you walked through the doors to see seonghyeon and juhoon playing ping pong against ni-ki and james meanwhile jungwon was talking to heeseung on the lawn chairs.
“ oh look the girls are here.” james noticed first, using an advantage to get seonghyeon to look for you - which he did, instantly getting distracted at how pretty you looked. he watched seonghyeon look over automatically at the mention of you and your girls, it was like watching a fish fall for its bait.
he used his younger friend’s state of admiration to easy smash the pingpong ball on their end, seonghyeon completely missing the turn. “ man what the!” juhoon nudged his friend, realising what the hell he was looking at and laughing, “ shit man you’re down bad.”
meanwhile martin was showing off his recent “ creative” drinks he made earlier with random liquids, asking hanni to try it who happened to threaten him with bodily harm if he didn’t get her a proper drink from inside. ian already went back into the house trying to find her recent situationship, jaehyun who she had been super keen on seeing at the party.
you and danielle came up to the pingpong table, laughing at the score - jju and hyeon were losing to ni-ki and james.
“ ugh you guys are so bad!” danielle snorted seeing how stressed juhoon was with his paddle, cursing out ni-ki for being a good player. “ dani you try it then.” seonghyeon easily handed his paddle to your best friend, moving spots to stand beside you instead.
“ you’re like really bad at pingpong babe.” you giggled, patting seonghyeon’s shoulder in comfort who playfully send you a glare. the two of you moved away from the table so you wouldn’t get hit by danielle’s dramatic movements, watching her nearly slap juhoon in the face with her arm.
“ did martin not get you girls a drink?” he noticed your emoty hand, you quickly shake your head in response.
“ yeah so i am not trying his experiment drinks, absolutely not.”
“ then come, i’ll get you a drink.” you confidently hold onto seonghyeon’s hand, seeing the surprised look on his face but he stays silent - leading you back inside the house. the amount of people inside made him go inside first, keeping you closely behind him and guiding the way. your heart loudly beat from your hands together, and the way he was trying his best to lead the way without having people bumping into you.
the kitchen wasn’t as packed as the rest of the house, your hands still linked together. seonghyeon managed to find his way to the fruit flavoured drinks, knowing you didn’t really like anything that tasted like straight up hand sanitizer.
“ what about this one?” he handed you a bottle of raspberry vodka, taking a sip of the drink and nodding your head - guiding the bottle back for him to drink.
seonghyeon took it easily, sipping out of the same bottle.
okay. it seemed like nothing but these small interactions made your heart do nothing but pound in your chest, thanking the universe for the current moment where you and your crush for two years just indirectly kissed. well it wasn’t the first time, but every time it meant something.
“ it tastes good.” he looked down at you, some of his bangs brushing over his eyes. talking about his visuals, yes you knew eom seonghyeon was one of the most handsomest boys at your high school - everyone spoke about him with slicked back hair, forehead showing, but you liked him the best with his hair messy.
“ good.” you smiled back, taking the bottle out of his hands and taking a sip which left a red tint on both of your lips. “ yo, is that you y/n?” a voice interrupted your train of thoughts, forcing you to face the direction of the voice’s owner.
ryul shared a small smile, staring in between you and seonghyeon. rewind to the conversation about your little fling with ryul, the reason why it never ended up continuing was because he clearly saw your infatuation with eom seonghyeon.
“ oh hey man.” the two boys greeted each other, noticing some weird tension that formed within seconds. ryul reached an arm around your waist, hugging you. seonghyeon looked down at the proximity, staring at the arm touching you - his jaw naturally clenched at the sight but stayed silent.
his arm didn’t need to go that low.
“ you two having fun?” the older guy asked.
“ yeah we’re good,” seonghyeon replied instantly, “ i think i saw someone jumping into your pool with a bike earlier though.”
ryul simply laughed and brushed it off, “ i’ll get that cleaned out tommorrow. alright i can’t stay for too long, ohyul’s somewhere trying to do three backflips in a row.”
you made a scrunched up reaction at the thought of kwon ohyul going to the emergency department from his dumbass drunkenly becoming a cheerleader.
“ alright see you guys, enjoy the party and oh, you look good y/n.” ryul added the last part, making you snicker at the comment whilst seonghyeon stayed silent. you turned around to face him, seeing the way his lips pursued and watched ryul walk away. “ let’s go, i feel stuffy in here?” he nodded his head, your hand reaching up to the back of his shirt as he once again lead you outside.
NOW PLAYING: dancing in the kitchen by lany
the two of you sat far away from everyone else, sitting on the pool chairs whilst the reflection of the pool lights brightened up your faces. the two of you shared a long chair, facing each other.
“ so you and ryul?” he broke the silence. of course he’d ask that. seonghyeon was always like this whenever another guy showed interest - questioned it all, hiding the actual reason why he wanted to know everything. “ there is no me and ryul, hyeon. you know this, he’s just a friend to me. i only see him that way.”
“ yeah?” he asked, his brown eyes reflecting the pool waves.
you hum back in response, “ i’m not into him.”
“ but he’s right though.”
“ what about?” you ask, fixing the strap of your top. his eyes follow your hands, respectfully looking back up.
“ you look pretty tonight.”
thump. thump. thump. there it goes again - yes, your heart is supposed to sound like that, but it didn’t help when it sped up whenever seonghyeon was around. “ do i?” you couldn’t help but tease, tucking a strand of your hair back behind your ear. seonghyeon nodded, sliding closer. “ only tonight?”
“ you look beautiful every night, y/n. i’m sure you know that.” ugh, he was so good with his words. the best thing about him, he knew exactly what to say. to hide your nerves you playfully scoff, “ i know that.” he could only grin at your confidence, staring at the way you looked back up at him - head tilted in a way that made him loose his train of thought.
“ it’s better when you’re the one complimenting me though.” you boldly state. seonghyeon hums, once again moving closer without even realising his body was motioning towards you and before you knew it, he was practically conjoined with your soul - the tension between you both was so thick if someone walked in they would feel it instantly like a brick wall.
“ yeah?” he responds in a whispered way you’ve never heard him speak before, making you swallow your saliva out of nervousness. sure, you’ve had solo moments like this with him before but this was a step further, it seriously felt like the moments before the male lead was about to kiss the main character in the dramas.
how conrad fisher stared at belly before he would make his dramatic romance move.
“ well i’m glad that you only see him as a friend.” yep, that totally won you over once again - for the millionth time.
“ jealous much?” you amusingly reply, eager to see the rest of his reaction. “ i just care about you a lot, n/n. i wish what’s best, and you deserve the best.” the gap between you both barely existed, both your bodies eager for the space to no longer exist.
“ and i care about you too, hyeon.” your lips whisper out, unable to stop staring at his own. he reciprocated the same action, you felt like no one else appeared in the world - only your two souls left in focus of one another.
sappy thoughts aside; holy fuck, were you about to kiss eom seonghyeon?
your eyes weren’t deceiving you as his reached to your pink lips, “ hyeon i like y-” on the verge of your blurted confession, martin edwards comes rushing out of the doors with a puffed out look on his face as if he had been running. searching desperately for something, “ guys we have to leave like right now, someone called the cops.”
are you fucking serious, whoever that was; you’d be cursing them for life. seonghyeon turned back to you, standing right up before pulling you close to him; noticing that the girls were a bit far back looking around for you. “ go with them, i’ll try find james okay?”
“ are you sure?” you stared at him, watching everyone scatter to find their own way home. he nodded his head, leading you to the direction of hanni who quickly grabbed you and started rushing behind ian and danielle; turning your head to see seonghyeon checking on you one last time before him and martin jumped over the gates.
luckily for the four of you girls, danielle’s older sister lived nearby and managed to speed off to come pick you up. in the backseat with ian and hanni, you were completely stunned. utterly silenced at what just happened a few minutes ago. either you were crazy or you were just about to kiss eom seonghyeon, no, you literally saw him with your own eyes - he was leaning it. the moment was there, the tension hurt itself.
“ guys.” you blurt out after danielle was ranting to her sister about the neighbour that snitched to the police.
“ what’s wrong?” ian asked, “ you didn’t forget your purse, i have it with me.”
you shook your head, holding onto the back of the passenger seat: “ i think seonghyeon was about to kiss me.” the volume instantly raised inside the car, with even danielle’s older sister heavily reacting.
“ wait what?”
“ omg finally!”
“ so you didn’t actually kiss?”
“ what the fuck, babe holy shit!”
“ we were having a moment, like actually, we were both leaning in before martin came in.” hanni’s face scrunched up at the mention of the blonde’s name, loudly cursing him out for blocking your potential kiss. your heart was continously pounding hard against your chest, glistening in the memory.
“ are you gonna text him later?” danielle asks with a huge grin on her face, wiggling her eyebrows. “ but i want him to text me back first.” you whine, the thought of you chasing even more after he tried kissing you - you wanted him to absolutely start yearning. “ what if i’m just crazy?”
ian shook her head, waving her hand in your face to stop your negativity. “ nope, don’t think like that. he nearly got smacked in the face because he was staring at you.”
“ damn right.”
“ yeah, and look how hot you look tonight, i’d wanna kiss you too.”
the girls all mumble, simultaneously agreeing that you weren’t delusional. because eom seonghyeon truly was leaning in for a kiss, and if martin didn’t rock up, you would’ve confessed. holy shit.
you weren’t delusional, you were seconds away from kissing your dream guy.
( SKIP TO SUNDAY NIGHT)
NOW PLAYING: keep me by novo amor
he didn’t text at all.
you had hundreds of texts from people asking if you made it home safely from the party throughout the whole weekend, even ryul messaged to apologise and ask if you and the girls managed to leave. none came from the contact you wanted, the one you practically rushed to your phone everytime you heard the message notification.
none came from seonghyeon.
you were seriously tempted to just confidently text him and ask what happened at the party but somehow you just froze every time you clicked on his messages, like your body wasn’t allowing you to contact him first.this was kind of humiliating, waiting around for him to speak first.
the next day came along quickly, fixing your hair in the mirror of hanni’s car - checking yourself out one last time before the two of you stepped onto campus. “ hey you good honey?” she asked softly, sensing your mood instantly.
“ no, why hasn’t he said anything?” you grumble - checking through the dms of annoying guys that tried to slide into your private chats meanwhile you only waited for seonghyeon’s. it wasn’t the best feeling ever to have everyone else in the world except the guy you wanted more than anything.
“ he’s probably just busy, i even heard from jju that principal kwon asked him to come in early for some meeting this morning.” nodding your head at hanni’s attempt to calm your nerves, the two of you got out of her car and onto campus.
“ yo there you two are, which colour should i do my nails?” martin asks as soon as you enter the classroom, shoving four different colours of nail polish in your face. you shared a knowing look with hanni, martin was cute and smart but he wasn’t the best with painting his nails - especially in a classroom where his desk didn’t actually belong to him.
“ just wait until lunch, i’ll do it.” the blonde grinned seeing you point towards the baby blue colour, counting down the minutes until you could repaint his nails. danielle and ian were already at their desks, giggling about the apparent new transfer student from america who was a god at swimming.
“ no ways you two are feining over my cousin.” martin snorted, fixing his hair using your compact mirror. the four of you turn your heads towards him; “ that swimming champion is related to you?” ian sneered and jokingly stared at him up and down.
the blonde scoffed, “ um yes he is.”
“ what does he look like?” danielle questioned.
“ obviously not as handsome as me, but he’s got brown hair, shorter than me, um i don’t really know how to describe him.” martin replies, scratching the back of his head. ian rolls her eyes at him, mumbling at how useless his information was.
“ oh wait but i have a photo!” he brightens up, grabbing his phone out as juhoon and james arrive. meanwhile you were waiting on seongyeon to also arrive, usually he would rock up with juhoon but he clearly he didn’t.
ugh, you hated whenever your crush was absent whenever you spent all morning looking forward to coming to school just to see him.
martin reveals the photo on his phone, you could hear the small gasps coming from the other three. “ what the fuck he looks like if song hye kyo and cha eunwoo had a baby.” hanni complimented, nudging your shoulder to take a look.
leaning over to see the guy, your eyes widen. they weren’t lying, martin showed a photo of him and his cousin; gorgeous smile, fluffy brown hair with a medal around his neck. damn.
“ so what’s his name?” ian asked. martin was about to reply before the sliding door shuffled, revealing miss choi, seonghyeon and some girl?
“ settle down everyone.” miss choi announced as she stood infront of the teacher’s desk, you watched seonghyeon next to the unknown girl who happened to be smiling at him - whispering to each other like they’ve known each other for years.
wait what the fuck, hold on. who was that?
calm down, y/n.
“ this is our new student, hana. please make her feel welcome!” the teacher exclaimed as hana bowed infront of everyone. she looked innocent, sweet, shy - everything you’d expect with someone new to the school. “ you can sit next to sol for the time being, hana.” the girl nods as you watch seonghyeon lead her to her seat, a smile spread on his face.
pause. that smile should only be reserved for you. fuck, you sounded insane.
it seemed dramatic to be acting this way, but you two were literally millimetres away from kissing at ryul’s party - you weren’t blind, it was like a magnetic pull. you could still remember the rush feeling in your chest during that moment, one you’ll never forget. it felt like you needed him more than anything, and he felt the same way.
it really wasn’t the greatest feeling seeing him smile towards some random new girl whilst you waited the entire weekend for his notification to show up.
“ honey you okay?” hanni noticed. she always noticed. your go to girl whenever something went down. it was danielle and ian who would physically defend whenever something was wrong, but hanni was the mature one - she settled you all and made sure nothing was wrong.
“ huh?” you spaced back into the world, realising you were creepily staring out into the whiteboard. she stared at you and then seonghyeon, placing a hand on your shoulder with a small comforting smile.
break time came by pretty quickly, as hanni was busy trying to distract you with rewatching never have i ever and glazing over paxton hall yoshida’s abs. your friend group sat at your usual table, with james thinking he looked nonchalant by sitting on the actual bench with his latest fashion item: a beret. juhoon was occupied arguing with hanni over who stole his nuggets - it was clearly martin.
“ hey guys.” seonghyeon walked over with hana by his side, shyly waving. your girls couldn’t help but stay silent at her appearance, deciding whether it was alright to speak. they all knew about your dilemma with the absence of a response from seonghyeon. “ this is kwon hana, the new student. well actually i’ve known her since we were kids, her family just moved back to seoul.”
great. family friends. childhood best friends to lovers. the perfect story trope that everyone loved. this is what conrad and belly had. nope. this was messing with your head, the mind of a teenage girl who couldn’t understand the feelings of a teenage boy. “ oh hey!” ian introduced your girls, your eyes meeting with seonghyeon’s as he nodded his head up at you.
“ hey, you all are so pretty!” hana complimented. god, you couldn’t even hate her. she was so sweet. you forced yourself to smile, the other girls watching your interaction slowly. it wasn’t her fault, she seriously only moved here.
you knew you seemed dramatic, to be frightened at the appearance of this new childhood best friend but you spent two years head over heels over eom seonghyeon with people whispering in your ear that he shared the same feelings.
mixed with the actions he displayed, the care, the longing in his eyes - the way he ran all the way back to your house because you cried over accidentally leaving your id card before a test. you still remembered the first time you properly paid attention to him, where he caught you trying to climb over the school gates to avoid getting into trouble with your sports teacher for pretending you had your period. instead of snitching, he let you step over his hands to escape.
“ yo i’m martin, and that’s juhoon and james.” your thoughts were interrupted, hearing hana laugh. “ so you’re childhood friends with hyeon?” martin asked with curiosity filling his tone, “ he hasn’t mentioned you before.”
“ oohhh, he’s too shy to mention his first love aye?” she joked, nudging his arm. seonghyeon let out a laugh, his face slightly reddening at her teasing. why was he not denying it.
“ i’m pretty sure he’s pulling up to your house right now, n/n. sorry to send him home like this, he’s in a bad state.” james explained the situation, you were just in bed combing your hair watching an episode of the summer i turned pretty when martin’s oldest best friend called in a panic saying martin got into a fight whilst racing.
your boyfriend promised he’d keep his emotions down if it meant you wouldn’t get angry at him for continuously street racing, but obviously this time he couldn’t keep it in. you first met martin at a race after hanni dragged you to one in the middle of the night, you caught his eye immediately through his tinted visor. appearantly juhoon and hanni planned for you and martin to meet that night, “ fated” they described you both.
your boyfriend promised he'd keep his emotions down if it meant you wouldn't get angry at him for continuously street racing, but obviously this time he couldn't keep it in. you first met martin at a race after hanni dragged you to one in the middle of the night, you caught his eye immediately through his tinted windows. appearantly juhoon and hanni planned for you and martin to meet that night, "fated" they described you both.
“ i’m seriously gonna beat his ass, yufan.” you hear the sounds of martin’s engine from your balcony window, walking up to your balcony doors to check if it was actually him. soon enough you recognise the spiky blonde hair on the figure standing on the grass, staring up at your window like a saddened puppy.
martin wasn’t the best at controlling his anger, especially during his races. before you started dating you watched him get into fights very often over aggressive competitors or fucked up jokes. even at school. you hated seeing him hurt, not to mention how stupidly dangerous his hobby already was - he didn’t need assault in his record as well if he got caught.
“ nope, you’re climbing up. work for it.” you spoke from the window, usually you’d let martin in through the front door but you were mad. he promised not to get into anymore fights, especially when you weren’t around. it only took him a few minutes to climb up onto your floor and over the balcony railing, watching you sit on the edge of your bed with your arms crossed.
his face wasn’t properly showing at first from the dim moonlight, your eyebrows furrowed as soon as he stood onto your bedroom light. “ what the fuck mars?” you blurted out, your fury vanishing once you noticed the cut on his cheekbone and lip; seeing the damp blood on his face. his blonde hair was sticking up, his skin paler than ever.
“ baby don’t wor- shut up.” you rush over, reaching up towards his jawline; searching for any other injuries.
martin stared down at you, a look of guilt on his face rather than pain from his injuries. “ i’m sorry princess.” he murmured - he hated whenever you were mad at him, even the smallest bit.
he would rather get hit by an asteroid than for you to be angry. you reached to grab the end of his shirt, dragging him into your bathroom where the first aid kit was.
he didn’t even need to keep doing this racing shit, he was loaded. martin did it for the entertainment and thrill of the ride. “ stay.” you commanded, forcing him to sit on the edge of your bath tub. this wasn’t the first time he came to you after a fight, the last time was last month and you seriously nearly broke up with him after hearing he shoved someone into a locker for calling you hot.
you still ended up wrapping his knuckles up that night.
grabbing the first aid kit quickly, martin immediately started explaining the situation. this is what he liked to do, make sure you heard his side of the story before anyone else could change it up.
“ listen baby, the guy was a total shithead. he said he knew you.”
“ martin i know a lot of people.” you opened the box, reaching for the antiseptic and bandages, noticing his knuckles were already beginning to bruise. shit. it probably hurt more considering his rings. the blonde shook his head, looking up at you with those beady eyes of his.
“ his name was kwon jaehee, he said rude shit about you,” he continued explaining. honestly you couldn’t care less what someone said, especially if it was someone you couldn’t even remember. “ he said stuff about us too.” you began cleaning the side of his face with a cotton ball, hearing his instant winces and whimpers from the pain.
“ why do you listen to that shit, mars?” martin sighed, deciding it was the perfect time to wrap his arms around your waist pulling you ever so close. his chin resting against your stomach like he needed to get any closer.
“ i don’t wanna hear anyone say anything bad about you, they can say whatever about me, but not you.” okay fuck, that was really sweet and adorable. as much as you hated your boyfriend fighting and using violence, it made you realise how much martin really cared about you. he alays had some dumbass reason, but mostly it was to protect the honour of the ones he cared about.
you easily got so swayed by martin edwards. “ i wouldn’t let anyone disrespect you, honey.” he wasn’t lying, most of the time he got into fights was because his opponent would mention you and your looks. his voice softened at the end, a little shy compared to his usual persona infront of others.
realising now, martin only shoved that kids head into the locker because he was said a comment about your body like your boyfriend was gonna agree back.
“ fine, then what did he say?” you asked, tapping the bud against the small traces of blood. “ nah don’t worry.” he replied before grunting at the feeling of the antiseptic seeping into the cut on his lip.
“ tell me.” martin gave in quickly, looking up at you with his boba eyes - distracting you from the wounds on his face. “ he said that you looked easy, and i know you told me to not listen but he was disrespecting you so much i got pissed.” from his reaction you could already tell he was getting agitated again.
“ and babe i’m not gonna lie i was so ready to beat the fuck out of him if james didn’t stop-” he got cut off by you sweetly kissing him, placing your hand against his jawline; your hair brushing his neck from the angle. he instantly melted against your touch, you could feel his cheeks warming up.
the kiss lasted for a few seconds before you pulled away, your boyfriend desperately trying to follow your lips by leaning closer but you just chuckled in his face. looking down at his current state, a pink tint spread across his cheekbones; mixed with the evolving shade of dark brown from where the guy must’ve hit martin back.
he was so weak for you.
people usually looked at him and called him tough, scared of him after witnessing a fight he had. only if they knew how quickly he could melt by the taste of your rhode lip treatment in the flavour sugarberry. one he never failed to restock in your purse as he adored the taste so much.
your friends would always comment on how hilarious it was to see big bad illegal streetracer martin edwards easily be dragged by you in the hallways for him to buy you a banana milk in the vending machine, or how he would let you continuously add colourful hairclips into his spikes.
“ one more please?” he murmured - blissed out by the kiss. his brown eyes staring up at you in a wonderful haze.
you shake your head, “ nope you taste like blood.”
martin huffs out as you continue cleaning his bottom lip and wrap his knuckles.
“ after then?” he replied like a desperate puppy.
“ order me hot pot and i will, you disrupted my show.” you finish with the cleaning, throwing away the bandages. martin instantly gets to opening his delivery app, buying you everything you wanted for another kiss.
UPDATE: first of all thank you guys sm for the kind comments!! i’ll try add everyone into my taglist. second of all, it’s been starting!! hehe <3 i’m 4k words in… and the drama has barely even started. i’ve been listening to the entire new olivia rodrigo album mixed with backburner by niki, cigarettes after sex, bills by enhypen sooo prepare to be hurt hehe.
