Miles away and covered in fog, but unmistakable. The Tower
I felt like I didn’t have any agency. Just being forced back and forth across along that hellish track to damnation.
The worst part of the journey was the silence.
Because in that silence I only had myself for company. Me and my thoughts left to bask in an eternity, while we contemplated our place in this life.
Each and every day I told myself it would be different. That I would I quit.
And that’s what the worst part is
It’s not the knowledge that this pain is all your fault
It’s the fact that you can still sleep at night
I close my eyes and all I can see is that Tower of Ash
Floating skyward against a red sky
Then the raining down of a thousand memories
I’ll never forget the way it burns your throat as you try and breathe
A taste of the hellish sulfur that’s to come
The way it forces tears in your eyes
There comes a point where the faces of these memories become too many to recognize in a dream
They merge and they change and they become all consuming
No longer recognizable individuals
But an entire consciousness within your thoughts
It’s left behind in my dreams, but I cannot escape its corporal burden when I wake
The memory of its touch was the most haunting thing I’ve ever known
An insatiable fleeting feeling of ecstasy
An inescapable devil clawing at the flesh
I won’t beg for forgiveness
Whatever is coming for me in this life
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