idk man

[johnlockedsstuff]

Anderson: I sleep with a knife under my pillow

Donovan: Weak, I sleep with a gun under my pillow

Sherlock: You both are pathetic

Donovan: Oh yeah? What killer weapon do you sleep with, freak?

Sherlock: John

[johnlockedsstuff]

John: Do you play any sports?

Sherlock: I run away from my feelings

[johnlockedsstuff]

Sherlock: I did not pick her up early from school.

John: Rosie did Sherly pick you up early from school?

Rosie: No.

Sherlock: See? Case closed.

Rosie: We didn't go.

John: Case open.

Rosie: We went shopping.

Sherlock: Ha ha, shush now, Ros-

Rosie: Papa bought us matching coats. Look, look!

Sherlock: Rosie go to your room.

John: BOTH of you go to your rooms.

[johnlockedsstuff]

MrsHolmes: I raised two perfectly functional children.

Greg&John: You have two more children we don't know about?

[johnlockedsstuff]

John: Mufasa's death made me cry

Sherlock: It's okay, he is not a real horse it's a cartoon

John: Horse? A Horse???

Sherlock: In my defense I've never seen it

John: IT'S CALLED THE LION KING, SHERLOCK!

[johnlockedsstuff]

Sherlock: I saved your life, twice!

John: Because you put it in danger! twice!

[johnlockedsstuff]

Mycroft: You sure have been giving John a lot of attention lately

Sherlock: He injured his wirst

Mycroft: Well I got stabbed in the leg

Sherlock: Go to the hospital then

[johnlockedsstuff]

Mycroft, reading out of Greg's journal: 'marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed'

Mycroft: *stares at Greg in disbelief*

Greg, smiling: see?

[johnlockedsstuff]

10 years of sexual tension

[johnlockedsstuff]

Greg: I know nobody asked for my advice...

Sherlock: Yet you're talking.

Greg: ...but I agree with Sherlock.

Sherlock: Let's hear him out.

[johnlockedsstuff]

Sherlock: I blame myself

John: I blame you too

[johnlockedsstuff]

So imagine this. Sherlock and John have been in a relationship for a while and one day they are finally going to have sex for the first time. (Maybe Sherlock is Demisexual or a virgin or they just wanted to go slow because of all that happened between them).

When they go to bed John turns off the lights because he doesn't want Sherlock to see his scar, he thinks it is messy, making him feel sad, angry, and ugly. Sherlock, being the baby insecure boy we know he actually is, thinks that John doesn't want to see him while they are having sex (He is Mr. I-Am-Not-Gay after all).

Maybe Sherlock points this fact out or John simply notices something is wrong and asks Sherlock. John explains the actual issue, he doesn't want to be weak in front of Sherlock but he doesn't want Sherlock to feel unattractive and not loved.

Sherlock turns on the lights and starts showing John all the scars on his body, telling him how he got them. Then, while kissing and caressing John's scar, Sherlock says that he maybe is being selfish but he loves all of his and John's scars because they made them who they are, and they are amazing, spectacular, fantastic, and in love. They made them the detective and the doctor.

Sorry if it is not well written, I am not native English :(

[johnlockedsstuff]

John: *is mad and gives his back at Sherlock*

Sherlock: Well, maybe what's in my pants will change your mind.

John: *turns around*

Sherlock: It's a list of cases that came to me by email

Sherlock, showing the list: It's long, isn't it?

[johnlockedsstuff]

Mycroft: Excuse me, no one does a better job at pretending to be a person than I do.

Mycroft: Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.

[johnlockedsstuff]

Sherlock*sees John with his scarf*: You stealing from me again John? First my heart, now my clothes What's next? My last name?

[johnlockedsstuff]

Mycroft: Can you ride?

Greg *looks at Mycroft up and down*: Yes.

Mycroft:I meant the horse, Detective Inspector

[johnlockedsstuff]

Sherlock: Ah shit, I fucked up

John, writing on his blog: He said this with a surprised voice, for some reason