"Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted because they think you’ll always stay.”
Not today Justin
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@johnyr
"Let them miss you. Sometimes when you’re always available, they take you for granted because they think you’ll always stay.”
14yrs ago I bought my first BMW. 1990 325i (E30)
Will you remember me by how it started or how it ended?
Sometimes there are no words left to say, just feelings.
It’s been a while.. Zara’s lighting was immaculate.
There were so many things that used to keep me warm.
I’ve been broken for so long.. that the idea of being complete feels…
Everything I want is on its way to me. Everything I need is already within me.
A lot of things have happened this year, but I’m still thriving. Recently copped this E-Class Benz for my new daily and driving the BMW on the weekends. I’m also planning to buy a house next year as well.
I continue to learn as it’s a never ending cycle. I feel as if we’re always on a constant loop with recurring themes. Picking up things on the way, here and there.. Wanting this one day, but discarding it the next. But here I am 20 something odd years later. There are no new feelings under the sun and I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum with the exception of a few experiences. And in the end I always finding myself wanting the simple things. The long walks, to be consoled, held, and the list goes on. It’s 2:15am and my thoughts are tangled. I need to start writing more. Looking back my old posts and past writings is like looking at a map of myself and what I’ve been through. To be continued..
Depresssd.
It’s been a while.
Anxiety is too real tonight.
Grow so much that they have to meet you all over again.
I’ve been deployed out here for 2 months now. There’s definitely been some better days. But over the years I’ve missed countless of birthdays, graduations, and even a handful of memorable events. I’m barely ever home, and it’s hard to keep in touch with those you were once close to. I honestly feel so distant constantly being away most of the year. It’s hard to describe your situations to those who aren’t in it. Half the time I can’t talk about where I am or what I do. And everyone thinks you’re doing so well just because you’re in the military etc. But there’s a lot more to it than what people think. I still have 4 months or so until I’m back in the states again. Living conditions are awful, and I can’t wait to be in my own bed again and eat real food. I’m trying to make the most out of it day by day. Regardless, Happy Father’s Day from the Middle East. I understand now what my father used to go through on his deployments when he was in the Navy. It’s funny how life comes circling around no matter how you cut it. Much love and take care.
Forever writing 🖋✉️
Deployment.
Currently deployed in the Middle East right now at an “undisclosed location.” I’ve been here for about a week and a half. This year has definitely been one helluva year so far.. First going back to Cali for my birthday, going to Florida right after for training, then going to Canada, Minnesota, and New York. I had to fly through Colorado, Atlanta, and Minnesota almost every time which was tiring. Tons of training and being certified on a bunch of different things just to get to this point. I flew to Baltimore en route to my final destination. I stopped in Germany for a few hours then went to Turkey and did some sketchy traveling to get here. I left subzero freezing weather and now I’m in the hot ass desert in the Middle East. 4 days of straight traveling in my uniform until I was able to finally shower the night I got here after a long detour. Work is always work, but this is definitely a great getaway from my base in the states. I needed to separate myself from that place and have a breather. I can’t wait to come back and visit home, see friends, and eat etc. I’ve been writing a lot more letters lately and going to the gym after work to keep myself busy. Life has been moving nonstop and this is my year. I’ve been trying to capitalize and seize each opportunity. As much as I miss home I know I’m doing great things for my future. I can’t help but miss home and my friends when I see their snaps and stories. I feel like I’m sacrificing a large part of the best years of my life and youth to build a better foundation for my future. It’s fucking bittersweet. Although I know it’ll pay off in the long run.. I gotta keep going.