the number one lesson that toddler parenting is teaching me is the power of adjusting your attitude so you can get silly. if I am in a bad mood or at the end of my rope patience-wise my toddler senses this IMMEDIATELY and actively turns every single interaction into a protracted power struggle. but if i can take a second to gather myself and marshal juuust enough strength to do a goofy little bit or even just make a silly face he is sooo so delighted and can usually be easily persuaded to do whatever he was resisting two seconds earlier. tonight he was testing meeeeeeeeee oh my god WHY must everything be a battle and then I invented a game called BOOM where I swing him around and drop him on the nearest cushioned surface and this game was such a wild hit that we did our entire bedtime routine in five min just by trading bedtime tasks for one (1) boom. and then he was in such a silly happy mood it put me in a better mood and now I don’t feel as exhausted. idk it does take some effort to rally when you’re not feeling inclined to be silly but then it consistently saves soooo much time/energy in the rest of your interactions I think it’s worth it. plus it’s crazy how much goofing off with somebody for a few minutes resets your nervous system.
"this thing is so rare, if you put everyone it affects on an island it would be the 20th most populated country in the world, more than the UK, more than South Korea, and more than Canada AND Australia AND Tunisia all put together. we can literally forget about it that's not many people"
it's about autism and EDS and intersex variations and about trans people and also it's about golden blood and it's about blind people, it's about screaming all day long and howling the night out that you exist even if you're not everywhere, you're small but your heart beats and your lungs pump air and they want you forgotten in the pages of a book they won't read
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
you were almost turned into a vampire, but before you could be fully turned, the vampire was staked. This left you with a vampire weakness, while still being human.
Spin the wheel to find out your weakness!
How much does this effect you?
Nothing changes
It's inconvenient but I can deal with jty
It will be hard to adjust but I'll figure it out
I don't know if I'll be able to live like this
Maybe I can find another vampire to finish the turning?
I might just kill myself
Results/other
Remaining time: 2 days 6 hours
thanks @theemmjay for submitting this poll idea!! Seriously it's such a cool concept I love it so much
my overall opinion of the whole "i became a white nationalist because people called me racist for no reason" talking point is that while I do think spurious accusations of bigotry are a problem, if your immediate reaction to being called racist is to become an actual white nationalist then it sounds like they were right about you being racist. like I don't think that accusation was spurious.
A lot of my vegetarian friends don’t get why I still eat meat even though I mostly eat vegetarian with just occasional meat when left to my own devices and at the end of the day it’s because I just don’t have the same moral issues involved with killing animals that they do.
Yes I love animals. I don’t love them because they’re cute and I feel bad for killing them though. I love them as part of the broader ecosystem. I respect them. Probably more than they respect me, because at the end of the day I know that a chicken wouldn’t hesitate to eat me if it had the means and I don’t see why I shouldn’t strike first.
I’m just not ashamed of being an omnivore. Yes this chicken was once an individual. Thank you chicken for your sacrifice. You were delicious and gave me some very necessary B vitamins.
A lot of the vegetarians that I know are vegetarian in a “feel bad if they step on a cockroach” kind of way.
The difference between me and them is that I recognize myself as an animal defending its territory. Cockroaches spread disease into your food storage. Therefore, they are a home security threat and I shall act as a proper ape should when faced with this kind of threat and stomp on it without remorse.
Many people see differently to me about these things. I know because I am friends with some of them. And yet I am called upon when necessary so the cockroach blood may not be on their hands but instead is on mine.
Being the designated bug stomper and snake catcher in most groups you’re in can kind of give you a perspective sometimes on your existance as an animal. What am I but an ape throwing a snake out of my tree? An ape that has the ability to make chicken nuggets.
I was lucky enough to be a part of the Code Red JayTim Charity Zine.
A very late, but very big thank you to all the incredible Mods at @coderedjaytimzine!
I was hyped to do a BodyguardAU and was going to add little easter eggs in the background graffiti - I then immediately ran out of ideas.
Can you find the *checks notes* ...three and a half easter eggs?
theartofmadeline
ellievsbear
germansingergirl
kianamaiart
gamechangershow
tangentwithtanner
