All that glitters is gold-- only shooting stars break the mold.
Uhh--- Maybe that's all I knew how to say at the time being ten years old. I'm trying to recount the day, I realized I was not a special star and no-- I wasn't a genius. Your parents ( now I'm generalizing because some parents think their children are quite worthless!! it's a possibility! ) from the day you are born, praise you for the most odd things. Whether it being able to use the bathroom properly, or listening to you read Clifford the dog book at one word per five hours. They're supposed to be excited for these days, and I always felt bad for parents, it must be literal hell to sit there and watch a school play about eating vegetables. Everything you do, is wonderful and spectacular, well for a while.
So here's to my actual memory, one day I came home from school and I was telling my father all about my dreams-- hopes-- things ten year olds rambled about. When I got to the part where I insisted I would become a superhero, that I'd be like Bruce Wayne and be super smart. He grabbed me by the shoulders and crouched down to my level. "Jonas.. all of that-- is fake. Not reality, do you know what that means? You won't ever be Batman, and you'lll probably never be that smart either." His voice was harsh sounding, his jaw seemed tight as if these words were hurting him. My eyes stared into my father's not wanting to cry in front of him, because all I could think was-- how could he tell me that? "..Oh." Is all I truly remember saying, before walking slowly to my room. It hurt to know, that I would never be as smart as Batman nor as handsome as Bruce Wayne. It kind hurt to know that I'd be like everyone else, just a normal average person. I mean, wanting to be a super genius billionaire was a pretty big stretch.
I guess I got so spoiled with my parents praising me for things such as, learning my multiplication tables-- maybe they didn't want me to get my hopes up. Now looking back, I can respect that I totally get it. I'm glad they broke it to me, cause that moment defined me. If I was going to be average-- well I'd be the best average person around. But you see.. no one ever explained that even fitting in was difficult.
I wanted to flow freely with others in the tide, because what was so wrong with fitting in? We praise those that go against the norm, and neglect the ones who are just wanted to live. The world is quite odd that way.. thinking about my old man, when I was telling him about my dreams his eyes were looking into mine and it was like they were saying, Yeah-- I had dreams too..
To state the obvious, Joonyoung is from Austin, Texas
He actually really misses home, but knows-- at least right now he can't return there.
While in Austin, he actually never dated another Korean girl, his most recent girlfriend was actually African-American and the former was of mixed race ( Mexican and Black ) Not that he was never interested it just never happened.
Grew up in the Catholic Church.
He misses Mexican food. Specifically good salsa.
While in Austin he was apart of many bands, and considered himself a rolling stone of sorts.
He used to bum on the streets playing his guitar.
Paid a guy 20 bucks to moon everyone at one of their High school football games. ( He attended Westwood High school )
He didn't know there wasn't Whataburger in Korea, and believes that's legitimate blasphemy.
There hasn't been a day that's gone by here, where Joonyoung didn't click his heels and wish for home. He sounded like every 'innocent' man in prison. howling about how they didn't belong there. Joonyoung was sure he didn't. But he didn't expect so many people, and he was sure they were surprised to see him. Seeing how it's some sort of stereotype for anyone Asian to be perfect.
Heh-- if only Jonas Jung were perfect.
"Um.. my name is Jonas.. I just turned 21.. um yeah." This scene looked as if it were ripped out of a movie's script. A terrible movie, "Hi Jonas." The group replied in unison, and he rubbed at his nape. The room seemed colder and much smaller now-- he was just nervous and he swallowed thickly. Joonyoung laughed, and realized no one else was laughing with him. No one-- was laughing with him, this was no laughing matter. Scratching at his arm now, clearing his throat once again, "I'm a cocaine addict. Tadah, I'm an asshole and I have no regard for others who care about me. Yeah I have nothing else to say." It was more passive aggressive than he intended to sound but it was true. Everything he said about himself was nothing but the truth. Hyper critical of himself and others, how could he sit here and not judge the people around him? It was like a big joke in itself, but he sighed taking a seat. It's only been a few days-- and the detoxing shit, was a bitch.
What was he going to do? Why was he even here? Joonyoung couldn't even pinpoint it, like how he got to this point. It was pathetic, but a lot of the time when you reach that low point you don't even remember the process of becoming so fucked up.
Yeah-- Joonyoung was just smiling, as the others introduced themselves and before the therapist could talk, Joonyoung snorted, "So are we going to pull out a guitar and sing kumbayah or what?" The group therapist looked at Joonyoung with a dirty look, not appreciating his comment obviously and Joonyoung leaned back in his seat as to retract his statement. But he literally didn't know why they had to get all Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on each other. "Now.. Jonas as I recall?" The shrink started, "Yeah.. Doctor uh--" Joonyoung was just being a snarky asshole because he was just a brat who is finally being punished for what they've done wrong, "Anderson, Dr. Anderson is my name, and you know what you're allowed to express how you feel. That's the point- but when it isn't your turn to speak, I suggest you keep it to yourself until it is." He tells him in a stern manner as if he were a child, and Joonyoung just nodded.
Asshole.
Were the only things muttered after he walked past people after the meeting, ready to just get the rest of his day over with. Never in his life would he think that he'd miss being home. No he more missed the drugs that gave him comfort, and made him feel alive-- now he was here-- feeling everything so intensely. This wasn't fair-- he shouldn't be here. He should be anywhere else, enjoying himself like any young man should but heh-- that's how he got himself in this mess right?
"They aren't wrong.." He mumbled sliding his his hands through his long hair.
LOL. Hi I know a lot of you here already. You probably know me actually, I've played and do play at a lot of places as of late. Right right, I play Joonyoung aka Jonas, your average low key hipster from Austin. If you want you can self destruct along with him, if your muse does cocaine or any hard drugs-- let me know, so Joonyoung can be tempted.
Right, he just got out of rehab, so there's that. But he's handsome and ready to love you.
It had been a long night, maybe it was just what he needed. He looked down at the sleepy headed brunette in his arms and sighed. Helios felt weird for wanting her so close, but holding Nana was just comforting. Her long and slender body tangled up in his, nothing expected and no pressure for anything to happen. “..Hey.. do you feel like getting up?” He whispered seeing that sun was peeking through his window. Only to get a lazy sounding no from the girl, and he chuckled softly. “Great.” It had been so long since he was with any girl like this. He always was one of those guys that wasn’t into cuddling. Holding onto someone that could leave his life at any moment, made him nervous. As if Nana was just a dream, a living breathing vision of everything he had wanted. Holding onto her as if she’d just up and disappear one day. He felt pathetic yet content with himself. “I don’t either.” He said giving her body a light squeeze before pecking softly at her lips. Helios felt the words ‘I love you’ cross his mind yet again. It was every time he looked at her he wanted to say it. What if she was just with him, just to kill time? Gather ye rosebuds right? But he genuinely felt happy around her, and that was something he was thankful to for. “Nana.. I..” He started his voice choking up a bit— damn why was he in his feelings this morning. She stopped him with a finger against his lips before he can finish, “Ditto.” She smiled at him, he thanked god that he didn’t actually say it. More he was impressed that she just knew.
Would they even be like this together if the feeling between them wasn’t mutual? Helios just returned the smile before starting another kiss, with his girl.
Yongbin was always a brat when it came to things he liked, candy being one of them. Seeing how he always had to share with his younger brother naturally he became protective over the sweets. But Soryong— well Soryong was different. Yongbin carefully glanced over at his lover before quietly taking the last piece of the candy out of the bag. Satisfied that it went unnoticed he hastily opened the piece of hard candy popping it into his mouth. Humming before he felt himself being turned around, “You didn’t even ask if I wanted it?” Soryong said, Yongbin gave a shrug as he made a loud slurping sound sucking on the candy, “So? Snooze you lose.” Yongbin responding about to bite down on the candy before feeling Soryong ignoring his earlier comment by pressing his lips against his own. Thinking it was just another kiss, naturally letting his mouth open slightly for his boyfriend before he knew it he felt the candy slip between them. That— he— Yongbin pulled away licking at his lips seeing that yes, the candy wasn’t in his own mouth anymore and laughed. “You’re so fucking lame, stealing candy from a kid.” Yongbin mockingly scolded, but the sight of Soryong sticking his tongue out the candy very much so present on the pink flesh, “You let me. You’re so sweet sharing things with me.” The older male teased making the same obnoxious slurping noise as Yongbin did with the candy.
Yongbin only rolled his eyes, “You’re not.. even funny.” He mumbled before grabbing at Soryong’s collar pulling him into another kiss in hopes to take back what he thought was rightfully his. Then again—- maybe it wasn’t the candy he was really even worried about.
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