Discovering Universe

Just here, to pour my heart out

[joyciiieeeh]

I feel like the world is so against me

I feel alone in this crowded place

I feel suffocated

I can't breathe

I don't want to breathe

I just want to cry, wallow in loneliness

Lie in bed forever

I don't want to feel

[joyciiieeeh]

Why is it whenever you achieved something, everyone is proud of you.

But when you failed, those "everyone" disappears.

They despise you.

They will make you feel like you're the most stupid person in the world.

They will even rub salt to your wounds.

You'll have no one to lean on. No one to ask for help. No one to help you stand up again.

Maybe, that's how it really is from the very start. You're on your own. FOREVER. And that's the sad reality I have. 🙂

[joyciiieeeh]

It's been 7 years, yet I still dream of you.

It wasn't a heartbreaking one, it was actually a beautiful memory of you. Which still made me sad, by the way.

It was the memory of us, before all the tragedy. Before all the heartbreaks.

In my dream, you were so caring, so full of love. I was your priority. We were happy.

That was the moment I knew that it was just a dream.

Every time I woke up from dreaming of you, my chest feels heavy. It felt like I can still feel all the pain we've been through. Which makes me sad all day.

I hope wherever you are, you are happy this time. Take care.

When I said, you will always have a very special place in my heart, maybe this is what I meant. You, still lingering in my dreams from time to time.

[joyciiieeeh]

These days

I feel sad

I feel empty

I feel heavy

Like my chest is being crushed

I don't know

But I feel like falling into abyss

I feel like crying without knowing the reason why

I feel like sleeping the heaviness away

[joyciiieeeh]

Unconditional Love

Even if no one listens to you

Even if your own family doesn't listen to you

Jesus listens to you

You need not someone to love you

You need not be afraid of what other people will say about you

Because Jesus loves you

Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you

Do not be afraid, because Jesus is with you

You are special to Jesus

We will not be separated from His love.

102821

-joyciiieeeh-

[joyciiieeeh]

I feel like crying.

I feel like crying my heart out.

I feel like taking my heart out of my ribcage.

I feel like crying.

I feel like tearing my head into two.

I feel like bursting my brains out.

I feel like crying.

I feel like drowning.

I feel like burning my lungs.

I feel like crying.

I don't know why.

I don't know how.

I feel like crying.

-joyciiieeeh

[joyciiieeeh]

Mom

The kindest, most gentle, loving and very forgiving person I've ever known.

Not because she's my mom,

But because I've witnessed how she does it.

So you all who have the audacity to spew so much hate on her,

Shame on you!

You all who gossip and make lies about her,

Shame on you!

But,

Shame on me

For trusting you all.

Shame on me

For believing you love her

And respect her as much as I do.

Shame on me

For overlooking what you all did.

But this will be the last time.

Sooner or later, I'll face you all.

I will slap on your face how shameless you all are.

-joyciiieeeh

[joyciiieeeh]

I dreamt of u again, and it was sad

What happened in the dream was the exact same thing that happened to us.

How we started, how we ended.

Now, there's no us or we

It's just you and me

-joyciiieeeh

[joyciiieeeh]

If I ever get betrayed one day

I just hope it won't be by you

-joyciiieeeh