do wrong to none.

I'm a wife to Wyatt + a stay at home momma to Peyton, Logan, and Nolan. I just can't get enough of this journey of love and parenthood.

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Is Wyatt still able to work? How has the pandemic changed his job and what you do?

Yes he is still able to work. We had to stop seeing all routine vision exams for almost a month, in March. Which is at least 90% of our patient base. We could only do medical related exams. Thankfully we received that stimulus which allowed us to keep paying our employees. All of my kids were home from March - May so I wasn’t able to go to work during that time. I went occasionally when I could. Nolan’s head start program shut down in March for the rest of 2020.

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Is there anything people can do to help you and your family?

The past 2 years have been a lot but we are making it. We’re currently in a really good spot and I hope it continues because we need that for a bit. I really appreciate your concern and offer to help.

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Probably the most drastic before and after. This was a sewing room connected to our master bedroom. It was big enough to be considered another room so we were very undecided what to do with it. We decided to knock out the walls of the 2 tiny “closets” that were in the actual master and make our room bigger and then we turned this into our closet, got rid of the extra door.

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I thought I’d share a few before and after pictures of our house. I’m still so dang proud of it all. I love our house, it’s perfect for us.

It was built in 1983 with so much love and intention. The family lived there, watched their kids grow up and then have grandkids. The wife passed away from cancer and it was just too much for the husband on his own. He cried when he gave us the keys and I cried too. I loved hearing just a glimpse of their memories in the house. I’m friends with basically all their family on Facebook. They love seeing a family and kids in the home.

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Update Part 2

The past 6 months have been interesting. I've been dealing with some major PTSD from that incident. I wouldn't let Wyatt out of my sight for a whole month which I know was equally parts annoying but also understandable. First I had to deal with all the emotional damage it did to think that he could have committed suicide. I'be talked about this in the past on here. Seriously just my worst nightmare and it's hard to process that. Even if that's not what happened, it triggered something and it's just hard to deal with. Second I can't hear loud noises of any kind within our house without freaking out, sometimes I just breakdown crying. Wyatt knows now when he drops something from another room to say I'm ok, it wasn't me. lol It's funny but also not. I know his initial accident was super scary but I also wasn't the one that found him. Seeing your husband unresponsive, face blue from not breathing really does something to you. I am slowly getting better. I do need to go to counseling eventually.

Nolan also had some PTSD afterwards as well. I can imagine how scary that was for him to see and not understand what was going on. He was sleeping in his own bed at night and then coming to our bed around 3AM. When we got home from the hospital, Wyatt’s accident is literally all he talked about. He’d tell everyone that would listen, “my daddy fell down to the ground.” “My daddy got hurt.” Or something along those lines. He stopped sleeping in his room and wouldn’t hardly leave our sight. It’s taken pretty much until the past month for him to finally be comfortable enough to not have to be in the same room as us at all times and start to sleep in his bed again. The other kids were still asleep that morning so they didn’t really know what was going on until afterwards.

In other news, owning your own business during a pandemic is actually quite scary. We were extremely lucky that when they were doing the small business stimulus, we were approved. I know a lot of people weren't. It's truly what saved us after having to shut down from seeing patients for a month.

Parenting during a pandemic is hard!! So many decisions to be made on what is safe and what is best. We're just trying to make it like everyone else.

[joyeveryday]

Update

I've been thinking about coming back to Tumblr. Maybe. I guess the last time I updated was in March, right at the beginning of all the pandemic craziness. We finally closed on our house after lots of worry about shutdowns, not making money because of said shutdowns, you know all the fun stuff. We finally closed on the house in mid April. We were super excited but it definitely didn't feel like home for quite some time. We lived in the basement for a little over a month while we did some remodeling. The fact that we were in the middle of a pandemic helped us out I guess because a lot of people were needing the work and it got done quickly. I'll have to post some before and after pictures. We had all the popcorn ceilings scraped, all the carpet torn out and replaced, we had some walls knocked down in the master bedroom, stair railing completely torn down and redone, all the trim and all the walls painted, small kitchen remodel. Living in a basement for a month with 3 kids, having no kitchen, doing virtual learning is about as fun as it sounds. In June, we were finally at the very end of our remodel. We were able to get settled into our rooms upstairs and everything was finished except a few things in the kitchen. It was starting to feel like home. Then on the morning of June 2nd, I woke up to let the contractors in to finish the kitchen backsplash. Wyatt was getting ready for work and I laid back down in bed with Nolan when I heard a loud crash sound. At first, I was thinking it was the workers because I'd become accustomed to loud noises. But then I knew that wasn't it. So I went to the bathroom to check and found my husband on the ground. I'm not going to lie. In that moment, the first thing that came to my mind was did he try to commit suicide? I couldn't get the door opened because his feet were blocking the door. I called 911 and was able to inch my way inside. His face was blue and he was foaming at the mouth. I know that he was seizing but in the moment all I could focus on was he wasnt breathing. They had me do CPR and he finally came to. He couldn't talk or listen to commands, he wasn't at all stable and was slightly combative. I was trying to get him to just sit until the paramedics arrived. But when he pushed me off of him and tried to get up, he fell and hit his head which caused a big gash right above his eye. So he was bleeding profusely all over me and still trying to get up. Nolan is in the doorway screaming and crying. I start screaming for the workers and they finally come upstairs, not prepared for that sight I'm sure. But they at least were able to get Nolan. The paramedics arrived and we were able to get my husband downstairs and into the ambulance. He was life flighted to the hospital. I was able to call my friend/neighbor and have her watch the kids. We were in the hospital for 3 days. There were no visitors. I couldn't leave the hospital at all or I wasnt allowed to come back. They would allow people to drop off food in the lobby for you. He got 12 stitches I think and lots of scans and seizure tests. So they think it was some scar tissue in his brain from his accident and the seizure just happened to happen while he was in the shower. So he fell out of the shower which also caused some damage to his back. He is now on a life long seizure medication.

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Friday will be 4 weeks since we’ve been staying home. I started early because I thought this wouldn’t last as long as it has and now it’s anticipated to be much longer. I am so over everything. I’m depressed and have gained so much weight because all I do is eat. We are “supposed” to close on our new house next week and I literally haven’t packed 1 box. I just have no motivation or drive. Wyatt still goes to work everyday so he doesn’t understand why I’m like this. It’s exhausting. Our backyard is like a mud pit right now so the kids can really only play in front and go on walks. I keep saying if we were in the new house at least we’d have projects to focus on, not sure if that’d actually be the case or not. We’re set to close at anytime but the bank just keeps giving us the run around. They’ve told us 3 times they have everything they need and then days later they need another list of stuff they didn’t need before. I’m just so over the house buying stuff and hope to never do it again.

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I only get on here when my kids are sick? Last week, my step dad passed away from cancer. On Saturday, my sister flew in from Utah for his funeral that afternoon. She is here until Wednesday, I only see her maybe once a year. Well Sunday morning at 3am Nolan wakes up with 103.5° fever. I was up all night with him Sunday night and then I took him to the doctor first thing Monday morning and he tested positive for flu and strep. I thought I might at least be able to see my sister on Tuesday and then last night Logan wakes up with a fever and puked all night. I got very little sleep. Nolan came and got in bed with us at some point last night. I woke up to use the bathroom planning to go back to sleep and he’s peed the bed. I’m like give me a break. I’m upset that I can’t spend time with my sister for the 3 days that she’s here and I hate that everyone is sick.

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You are an amazing mom and wife even when you don't feel like you are. I know your kids and Wyatt love you regardless of what you say and do.

I appreciate that!

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You are fabulous and always will be. :)

Thank you!

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A doctor’s office is not a babysitter! I don’t know how many times we’ve had people drop their kids off at our office for their eye exam and then they just leave.. for HOURS. We have a kid at the office after hours now and no parents anywhere.

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It’s been close to a year but I remember Peyton was working really hard on a painting. She did such a good job and then she started writing a little story to go with it. I said something about she should leave it like it is, it looks so good. I didn’t mean anything by it but I hurt her feelings. I knew I should have let her just continue how she wanted. But I had already hurt her feelings and every time she looks at it she says something about her writing on it. Tonight we were talking about some different art and I said, “I’m really sorry about the time I told you not to write on your painting. I shouldn’t have said that. You always do a great job and it’s not my art, it’s your art.” Ugh, if you would have seen her little face and just this weight be lifted. It’s been a year but it stuck with her. She started crying and she said, “I just needed to hear that, I don’t know why I’m crying.” I want nothing more than to speak life and goodness into my children’s life. I don’t want my words to be a weight they carry around.

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Has anyone been able to say what cause the accident?

Yeah it was just a freak accident. They think he hit a drain grate, or whatever you call it. And the thing he was riding slammed him to the cement on that left side. Because he wasn’t wearing a helmet, it caused the bleeding on the brain.

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Is Wyatt still recovering? It's hard to tell from your posts.

September and October have been our best months. I think that things can change throughout the whole first year but we’re finally in a good place. So I do think he’s still recovering but no more doctor appointments besides the psychiatrist.

April-July were very very hard times. He dealt with a lot of anger, resentment, and depression. His anger was usually directed towards me. He spent a lot of mornings throwing up and in bed from his anxiety and depression.

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We had a wonderful Disney Cruise to celebrate Nolan’s 2nd birthday!

When Wyatt was in the hospital and still out of it, he was asking about the kids and he said, “I have to take them to Mickey Mouse.” I knew he was talking about our cruise. So thankful to still have him here to take us to Mickey Mouse!

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I have been thinking of you and your family. Please let us know if we can do anything for you besides listen.

I’m sure this message is older but I appreciate it nonetheless. Thank you.

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You are wonderful and always will be. :)

You are wonderful!