Let's talk aftercare!
What is aftercare?
Aftercare is what happens after BDSM play (or even after vanilla play). It allows all participants to process what just happened and help them recover if needed.
Why is aftercare important?
When involved with BDSM play, whether sexual in nature or not, there is a significant mental component that involves all parties shifting into some sort of roll. There may be highs and lows that are both mental, but also physical ones created by endorphins, adrenaline, etc. It's also a chance to assess the physical state of all parties. Were there any injuries? Aftercare grounds us back in the real world.
What does aftercare look like for you?
Aftercare for me is usually quiet, cuddling, and sometimes a short nap. If there is touching it should be firm touches. They help ground me. Light or quick touches send my brain into panic. Usually after a short nap Daddy will give me a nice firm back rub while I eat a snack to get my blood sugar back up.
Is aftercare only for the s? What about the D type or top?
Nope! Everyone needs aftercare. The touching and cuddling and back rubs is for Daddy too. He's making sure I'm ok. It reassures him that I'm ok. He's getting loving comfort from it too. If stuff went differently than expected, this is where we talk about it so we can avoid it in the future.
Is aftercare something that needs to be negotiated?
To some extent, yes. A person should be able to state their aftercare needs to make sure the top can meet those needs. If any changes to aftercare are required, that needs to be discussed as soon as possible. Needs change over time.
