October 20th, 2014 – BUFFALO OUTER HARBOR
What’s the number one question looming on the minds of Buffalonians this fall? Unanimously, it’s “Where will the new Darien Lake go?” The theme park, previously on Alleghany Road, will be airlifted this spring to the center of Buffalo’s up-and-coming Outer Harbor.
"We’re hoping to give the harbor a Coney Island feel, but you know, trashy kind of," said local urban planner James Hamil. The idea was conceived after overhearing a conversation between a local teen and his mother in late July: "There isn’t anything to do here but sit on these stupid chairs. Please don’t make me listen to the Tedeschi Trucks Band, I can’t do this again!"
That’s when Hamil knew our Outer Harbor was not connecting to the community as a whole. “We’re striving to maintain the peaceful, family-friendly vibe of the waterfront, but now with the exhilarating Mind Eraser, the sky-high Superman, and that wooden one that nobody really likes,” said Hamil.
The new Darien Lake is sure to bolster the downtown economy with a new influx of eager park goers, but making this work is going to be a real balancing act. In an attempt to merge two classic mascots, Casey Riordan Millard’s Shark Girl will now be sitting along side a life-size replica of Mr. Six, the dancing elderly man from Darien Lake’s failed ad campaign of 2005.
Many citizens are excited about the new park but there are many concerns as well. ”What about the parking?” asked concerned Lovejoy resident Roy Andrews. When pressed to explain himself, Andrews heatedly remarked, “The whole point of going to a Dave show is hanging out in the parking lot and drinking with friends.”
The addition of the new high-speed bullet train has enticed some residents to park downtown and then ride into the park for a day of shoreline bliss. “That sounds like too much work”, Roy scoffed, spitting on the ground in disgust.
