Untitled

[infamoussouls]

bandicam 2017-05-19 02-49-34-778.avi

View and download from Yandex.Disk

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[mynieceroom]

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[cboy3213-deactivated20141005]

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[mattia112]

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[17yearoldvirgin]

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[thot-planet-deactivated20200124]

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[summerbabezz-deactivated2018082]

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[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

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[johnnylists]

1. netflixroulette.net — Find something random to watch on Netflix. 2. pintsinthesun.co.uk — Find somewhere to drink a pint in the sun. 3. gfycat.com — Upload your gifs. 4. youconvertit.com — Convert documents. 5. ninite.com — Download all the free software you want at the same time. 6. squirt.io — Speed read the web one word at a time. 7. shouldiremoveit.com — Find out which applications you should remove from your computer.  8. avoidhumans.com — Find places to go in public that are not crowded. 9. keybr.com — Practice your touch typing. 10. oldversion.com — Get old versions of software. 11. readability-score.com — Find out how readable text is. 12. deadmansswitch.net — Have emails sent when you die. 13. mint.com — Budget your money. 14. roadtrippers.com — Plan your route with the best lodging and attractions. 15. duckduckgo.com — A search engine that is not following you. 16. padmapper.com — Maps out possible apartments/homes that fit your criteria. 17. zillow.com — Another great source for finding your next home. 18. printfriendly.com — Make any webpage print friendly. 19. printwhatyoulike.com — Print precisely what you want from any webpage.  20. privnote.com — Write a note to someone that will self-destruct after they read it. 21. freecycle.org — A network of people giving away free stuff in their towns. 22. couchsurfing.org — Crash on someone’s couch anywhere in the world. 23. recipepuppy.com — Search for recipes based on the ingredients you have. 24. pipl.com — A search engine for finding people. 25. charitynavigator.org — Evaluates various charities. 26. newsmap.jp — Popular news headlines. 27. radioreference.com — Listen to radio channels across the nation. 28. jimmyr.com — Link aggregator. 29. wolframalpha.com — A computational knowledge engine. 30. heavens-above.com — Follow satellites and constellations. 31. whatismyip.com — Figure out you I.P. address. 32. spreeder.com — Improve reading speed and comprehension. 33. simplynoise.com — Listen to white noise. 34. camelcamelcamel.com — Tracks prices for any product. 35. ptable.com — An interactive periodic table. 36. retailmenot.com — Find coupons for just about anything. 37. searchtempest.com — Search all of craigslist with one search. 38. join.me — Peek in on somebody’s computer screen. 39. thistothat.com — Find out the best way to glue this to that. 40. woorank.com — Find out what your website is missing, how you can improve it, and how to make Google recognize it better. 41. scribblemaps.com — Draw on maps then share them with friends. 42. mailvu.com — Video email. 43. rhymer.com — Online rhyming dictionary. 44. homestyler.com — Design your dream home. 45. wetransfer.com — An easy way to send big files. 46. pastebin.com — A place to paste text. 47. idlekeyboard.com — Make it sound like you are hard at work. 48. dropbox.com — Backup your sensitive document online. 49. seatguru.com — Find out where the best seats are on your plane flight. 50. unlistmy.info — Find out which websites store data about you, and tell them to unlist your info. 51. twofoods.com — Compare two foods.. 52. gasbuddy.com — Find local gas prices. 53. sleepyti.me — Plan out your sleep schedule better. 54. ripetrack.com — Find out when certain fruits are ripe . 55. compassionpit.com — Talk out your problems with others, or help others yourself. 56. paperbackswap.com — Swap books with others. 57. swole.me — Plan out your meals better. 58. weatherspark.com — A graphical look at the weather. 59. network-tools.com — Various network tools. 60. amazon.com — The best place to buy things online. 61. writecheck.com — Correct grammar and check for plagiarism. 62. wakerupper.com — Send yourself a wake-up call. 63. pcpartpicker.com — Plan out your next PC build. 64. nophonetrees.com — Talk to an actual person instead of a machine when you call customer service. 65. loads.in — Find out how long it takes websites to load. 66. calorieking.com — Find nutrition information on various foods. 67. manualslib.com — A database of PDF manuals for various products. 68. eatthismuch.com — Create meal plans to meet your nutrition targets. 69. keepmeout.com — Lock yourself out of time wasting websites. 70. glassdoor.com — Research what it is like to work with certain companies. 

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