Lexi, enjoyer of trees

She/they I really don't know what I'm doing.

[jumpingpistachio]

Gimme that haunch, make it real, or else forget about it

[omgthatdress]

Timothee Chalamet looks like a urine sample.

[jumpingpistachio]

a stick of butter, if you will

[jumpingpistachio]

for the people who prefer just the cookie

[jumpingpistachio]

*person walks into a room, carrying a plant*

*person coughing violently*

“Uh ma’am, did you not see the sign? you can’t be in hear with that”

Please no plants, This is an environment free smoke

[treebeardnerd-deactivated202502]

The official Grand Budapest Hotel screenplay describing Gustave H. as Bisexual:

[mushiver]

I know what you're all definitely thinking. What if everyone from Gravity Falls was a chair. Well, I was bored enough at 3am to think about that too

[talshiargirlfriend]

the percentage of my internet searches that are just me checking if that word really means what I think it means is so high

[airplanned]

We all agree, right?

AI to write your novel is wrong

A bargain with a demon to write your novel is okay

[starstruckodysseys]

i feel like we as a collective have not discussed steven skin enough. what the fuck was that

[jumpingpistachio]

they just dropped the info and moved on SO casually. i honestly cannot tell if Alex had that written out or if Brennan decided that in that moment and i’m not sure which is funnier.

[jumpingpistachio]

Paris Olympics so far:

Snoop Dogg torchbearer side quest

Mysterious figure running around Paris with the torch

Boxer wins boxing match, people cannot accept it.

Turkish guy with no protective gear casually wins silver

Sleeper agent activates, does one routine, gets bronze for US in gymnastics

[jumpingpistachio]

We live in such a weird world where people who are good at what they do face backlash for being good at their job. Imagine if they tried to tell people Michael Phelps was a fish. “Get this guy outta here, there’s no way this human can swim that fast. He simply has to be a fish.”

And also why is JK Rowling even posting about this. Girl you are an author go write a book or something. Fuck off, Rowling.

[hev-mark-iv]

[jumpingpistachio]

meanwhile in the kitchen, Jennifer Drips gets kicked in the head a bunch

[b1rdcatchers]

rate my playlist

[silly-little-gooses-deactivated]

ah, yes, the two genders

[jumpingpistachio]

Coincidence?

tumblr is on to something

[travesty-majesty]

I feel like we all glossed over Paula nearly accidentally killing her new kid like 10 minutes after meeting him wayyy too quickly

[jumpingpistachio]

Usha has been doing the same thing Paula did, in front of like, everyone, and nothing happened. The shock of your previously uninvolved hot cop dad who lives across the country suddenly re-entering your life, telling you he cares about you, and then saying he’s a middle aged divorced woman named Paula is *specifically* what caused him to die.