cocky fresh

101 challenges to prove you're not a sissy

[phaxes]

[philosophyquotes]

“Every word has consequences. Every silence, too.”

— Jean-Paul Sartre

[phaxes]

[phaxes]

[listentothestories]

[44st]

[listentothestories]

[honeshero]

[juniwinslow]

tylerzhenry:

tyler closes her eyes and take a long deep breath before walking over to juniper’s spot and sitting down beside her on the edge. she takes a quick moment to look over the parapet and instantly regrets it. they’re up so high - too high - and the world below seems ridiculously small. tyler gulps. she knows that if she didn’t calm juniper down she knew this could end very badly. sitting back up straight, she glances at the bottle of alcohol. in one swift motion she takes the bottle from beside juniper and sets it down behind her, out of reach for the other girl. she offers her hand yet again, hoping juniper would take it. “do what, juniper?” she asks, even though from contextual clues, she could probably take a guess. she gives juniper a genuine look of compassion, trying not to make the mistake of giving her an expression plagued with pity. “let’s talk about this. help me understand. my mom used to say talking made things better, even if it’s just a little bit.”

Juniper looked up at Tyler in surprise when she came to sit beside her, and Juni licked her lips. Tyler made a grab for the tequila suddenly and Juniper grit her teeth together, a frown creasing her brow. Tyler asked what she meant but Juniper didn’t listen, just waited for the other to start talking again. She was asked to talk about it and Juniper scrunched her nose up, and took another long drag of the blunt. “What do you wanna know?” She asked, then blew out the smoke quickly. “How a guy forced himself inside me before I knew that was even possible? Or how my ex almost did the exact same thing?” Juniper asked, kicking her legs against the wall beneath her whilst taking another drag. “Or how I’m just as weak at 21 as I was at six,” Juniper mumbled quietly, staring down at the city below them.

[juniwinslow]

tylerzhenry:

hearing juniper’s words makes tyler’s heart pound so quickly she can hear the blood pumping in her ears as a result. she tries her best to remain calm, inching closer and closer to the girl who obviously came up here with a plan to end it all. “juniper, i -” she starts, though unsure of what to say. she swallows and begins again. “i think you need to come off of that ledge right now.” she tells the girl benignly yet sternly. she extends her hand out to juniper, praying the girl will take it, praying she could buy herself some time. ”come back here with me and we’ll talk about this, okay? will you come back here with me?” she sighs. “you want to know my rule? it’s ‘fuck everyone else’. no one is going to completely understand you and everyone is going to judge you, but the power you give those opinions is your choice. so just fuck what everyone else thinks or says - even me, fuck what i think. you have to live how you want to.”

Juniper could all but see the moment that Tyler understood what she was doing up there. Tyler began to ask her to come away from the edge and Juniper shook her head slowly. “There’s no point,” she mumbled. Juniper took another swig of the bottle and then set it beside herself, taking another couple of hits from the blunt. Tyler began to insist that others’ opinions didn’t care, but Juni just shook her head. “It’s not just that,” she murmured, shifting her weight a little on the ledge, swinging her legs over the side. “It’s not just what they think, it’s what they...do,” she huffed. “To me. It won’t stop happening and I can’t-- I can’t keep living like this I can’t keep letting men take-- what they want.”

[crazyforlauren]

[juniwinslow]

tylerzhenry:

tyler frowns when she sees that juniper has been crying. in any other setting she wouldn’t have really cared, but tyler could slowly begin to see that the mixture of elements in this situation were getting to be alarming. “uh no thanks, tequila isn’t my thing. kind of makes me nuts..” she watches as juniper starts to smoke, and her eyes grow wide with both confusion and shock. “uh,” tyler starts, taking a step closer to the girl. “getting cross-faded is a really strange combo to do on the edge of a roof, you know. maybe you wanna come back here? where you can’t like - fall?” tyler tilts her head to one side.  juniper’s question was so sudden and frank, she almost doesn’t know quite how to respond to it. “why does it matter what i think about you?”

Tyler said that tequila made her crazy and Juniper snorted. “Me too,” she mumbled, looking back out over the city silently. The woman began to talk about Juniper falling from the roof and Juniper nodded slowly. “That’s kind of the point,” she croaked, wiping at her tears again. “And if I’m too chicken to jump, then I figured a bottle of tequila and fifteen sleeping pills would do the trick,” she muttered with a watery smile. “And if that fails... then...” she shrugged. “Then I’ve failed. Again.” Tyler answered her question with a question and Juniper sighed out through her nose. “Everyone’s opinion of me matters. And everyone has an opinion. Of me, of what I should do, of how I should act.”

[juniwinslow]

tylerzhenry:

all tyler wanted was a little peace and quiet. as the show was gaining a growing audience, it wasn’t as easy as it used to be to go out and be alone without mobs of people that wanted photos or autographs. sure that was part of her daily life anyway, but the city seemed to have had amplified it. even finding a spot in the highline was increasingly difficult as she’d rather eat her own foot than run into a cast member and be forced to engage with people she didn’t really like. but recently, she had found somewhat of an escape. one day after bribing one of the staff, she’d been told of the access route to the roof, and god did she love it up there. to see all of new york and feel like she was on top of the world was one of the best feelings. now she came up there at least once a day, either to watch the sunrise or sun set and she adored every moment of it. so when she arrives at her secret spot and spots juniper she immediately rolls her eyes. not even on the damn roof could she have a moment to herself. she’s about to turn on her heel and head back into the building, completely vexed by the situation but her eyes suddenly lock in on how close juniper is to the parapet. her brows narrow at the sight, now pondering why exactly juniper would be up here and - was that tequila in her hand? tyler takes a deep breath before making a few strides towards the girl, unsure where this sudden urge to check on her is coming from, but not fighting it. she clears her throat as she approaches juniper, still positioned a few steps away. “you - are you gonna drink that all by yourself?” 

The sound of a voice behind her made Juniper flinch, and she looked up at Tyler before wiping her tears with the end of her sleeve. “That’s the plan,” she nodded slowly with an empty smile. “Unless you want some,” Juni offered the bottle up to Tyler with a sigh. She lit the blunt between her lips and took a couple of tokes from it before resting her hand on her thigh. “You don’t like me, do you?” Juni waited a moment before she shook her head, already feeling a little woozy. 

[juniwinslow]

willaduffy:

“Water is fine, I don’t think I can keep anything down other than water honestly.” Willa didn’t want to contemplate why Juniper was being so helpful. She didn’t want to reflect why she was allowing Juniper to  still be around her let alone talk to her. Willa didn’t want to think about any of that but the curiosity was killing her. “Why are you being so nice? I don’t get it.”  Willa collected the glass of water and eagerly drunk it down. Willing the pain to go away now that she had medicine inside her system. Kinda regretting asking her question out loud but now waiting for the response. 

Juniper nodded when Willa said she could only keep water down. “Okay,” she smiled a little. The blonde then questioned her motives and Juniper’s movements slowed down until she shrugged a little. “I don’t know,” she murmured. “I’m just tired of everyone being so hateful.”

[juniwinslow]

‘Try getting gone yourself’ Juni couldn’t get Cain’s words out of her head. She’d been hiding in her bedroom, drinking and smoking away the hours, but never really thinking. All she knew was that she’d already found herself in a vicious cycle; it was bound to happen again and again. 

How she’d found herself to the roof, she didn’t quite know, but between the joint tucked behind her ear, the bottle of tequila in her hand and the little baggy of sleeping pills stuffed into her back pocket, it was clear she had a plan. Even if she wasn’t aware of it. 

She sat, legs hanging off the edge of the building, and let out a deep sigh before pulling the joint out of her hair and setting it between her lips. It was dusk, and whilst others would marvel at the beauty of the sunset, Juniper could only think about how it was the end of another day. She hardly noticed the tears that filled her eyes and wasted no time rolling down her cheeks - she never did anymore - and instead just took a couple of large mouthfuls of the tequila. // @tylerzhenry

[kushupmagazine]

🌲 toke and smoke 🚀

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