charlie can’t even look at tyler as she insists that he knows her – he might have, maybe, but not anymore. he might have known a version of her, one that gave off the impression of fondness and genuineness. the girl before him though, no, she was a different story, a different person. “what else am i supposed to say?” charlie isn’t speaking to tyler, not directly at least, “what am i supposed to say now that i know the truth?” he tries to ignore the tremble in his voice, because now is not the time to cry- ‘carringtons don’t cry, boy’. charlie wants more than anything to cry, though. he wants to put his head on tyler’s shoulder and wrap his arms around her, to cry it all away. to sob until his body shakes and his eyes burn, he wants tyler to hold him and tell him it isn’t true. that it’s a misunderstanding and she’s the same person she always was. but that’s not happening. “i don’t know you, i don’t- i don’t think i ever did,” he admits, his eyes watering, tears threatening to fall. he shakes his head, looking away. as much as he hates it and it hurts to say aloud, it’s true. charlie laughs bitterly at her comments, his pace racing. “self righteous jerk? you think i’m in the wrong here?” bullshit. bullshit. bullshit. but suddenly he feels like he’s been knocked to the ground as his stomach drops, carbon copy of atticus. when charlie was eleven, he witnessed his father throwing plates around the dinning room. his mother told atticus that she wouldn’t bare another child, that she wasn’t sure she could. atticus, of course, took that as a personal attack, had raged at charlie’s mother – had threatened her. charlie was certain that he would never become his father. “don’t, tyler, do fucking not,” he warns, taking a step back from her. but she’s right, he was more like his father than anything else. his foot bumps into his duffel bag as he accusingly pokes a finger at her, “you know what? i wouldn’t understand, you’re right. we’re two completely different people. i may be an ill-tempered, alcoholic disappointment, but at least i’m honest. i was always honest with you.” charlie watches as tyler breaks down, and he wants to embrace her. he wants more than anything to wipe away her tears and kiss her gently. he wants to make her smile, to tell her some cheesy joke and see her laugh. he wants to… but he can’t. he can’t let this go without an explanation, and if she can’t give that, then he can’t stick around. her apology sounds as howl as his heart feels. he clicks his tongue in disappointment as he throws on his jacket. slowly bending down and picking up his bag, he thinks that maybe this is for the best. maybe things were never meant to be between them, maybe people like him don’t deserve happiness. pulling out the handle of his suitcase, he turns back to tyler one last time. “you know, for a moment there, i thought we had a chance. for a moment there, i really- i really loved you,” he whispers, still too weak to look at the girl, “i’ll see you around, tyler.” he gives her a small nod, before he pushes his luggage out and closes the hotel room door behind him.
all along she had wondered how charlie felt about her, really felt about her. their path had been rocky for sure, and recently things had been good, but it didn’t add up. really loved her? it felt like some big joke. nobody loved her, it seemed. not really, anyway, and tyler definitely didn’t believe such a thing was possible . she had convinced herself that she wasn’t the kind of girl you fall in love with, and other people had certainly influenced that thought. suddenly she thinks back to the night of the carrington gala, willa’s cold words ringing in her head; “you actually have to have a heart to love someone tyler, and time and time again you only show the world that you don’t have one”. tyler wonders how viable it was to love someone without a heart. charlie couldn’t have loved her, he had never seen her as a good person, and definitely not as likable as other girls in the house. she takes his statement as an insult. in her mind, she was positive his words were a lie, a surefire way to say something serious in order to make tyler feel worse about what was already going on. as a result, she is overcome with a feeling of rage that swells in her by the second. her head begins to shake lightly from side to side. “loved…me?” she hisses, her tone stormy and expression almost unrecognizable due to her budding anger. her eyes grow wild with disbelief and she can’t stop the bitter laugh that rolls out from her parted lips. in his own words he had told her that she was sloppy, complicated, insinuated that she was a hateful person, had told her to fuck off and shut up on multiple occasions. now that she thought about it, charlie had made it abundantly clear that they weren’t friends, and one good month definitely didn’t make them more of a couple. he didn’t love her, and that was obvious. she takes a firm step towards him, pointing a finger in his direction. “not even two minutes ago you tell me you don’t think you ever even knew me and now you want to tell me that you loved me?” moving nearer to him, she’s close enough now to be physical and doesn’t hesitate to jab his shoulder with her extended index finger. she does this a few more times as she speaks. “how - how can you say that and call yourself honest in the same breath?” her eyes rapidly fill with hot tears but she doesn’t hold them back or wipe them away now, and lets them stream down the sides of her face. she knew she had done a horrible thing, she knew that. she knew she had hurt charlie and lied to him. she knew she had been wholly idiotic about this secret plan with jack. she knew he had every right to be angry with her, and when the time was right they’d talk about it. but to pull on this string, to lie to her in order to make her feel worse - that wasn’t fair. it wasn’t right. it wasn’t okay. “you don’t get to do that, charlie. you don’t - fuck you, dude.” she tells him, voice cracking in the midst of her sobbing. she doesn’t want to be around him anymore, she wants him out, wants him to go through with whatever he was planning. and thankfully her prayers are answered because after a few more seconds, she's watching charlie's back as he heads out the door. she stands in her spot for a while after, listening to his fading footsteps as he walks down the hall. when signs of her fiancé are no longer present, tyler feels her legs give out. she sinks to the floor with a loud thud. she screams, yells a few profanities, and continues to cry until the sun sets. and the next morning, she too was out the door with her luggage - headed for the airport with a ticket on the first flight back to new york.
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