They should ALL be destroyed.

@jurassicsniper

This is an independent, semi-selective RP blog for Robert Muldoon, game warden. This blog is multiship and multiverse friendly and interacts primarily with the TF2 and Jurassic Park fandom, but will roleplay with almost anyone. M!A: none

12.4K posts

“I could tell. They’re frightful bores… But, they get invited to these events because they love to throw their money around.” Robert seemed much more relaxed once they were safely outside. His shoulders dropped and his posture looked much more comfortable and less stiff. “You know, you’re too good for that lot. Don’t let them get to you.”

Laughing softly, Nick merely shook his head. “Oh, I was more annoyed by their efforts to rile me up than genuinely offended I assure you. Perhaps they’re such bores they want to cause scenes to entertain themselves? At any rate, I appreciate the escape, and your and Denis’s time spent to welcome this continental newcomer.”

"Well, I owe you that much at least for your camaraderie in the trenches, dear boy. Anyone who fought the good fight deserves a drink and a chance to see my country at its best instead of its worst."

Chuckling lightly, he walked Nick toward the taxi stand. "If you need a ride to your lodging, I can accompany you part of the way. If you're still making your rounds here, this is where I'm afraid we must part for now."

“If you would be so kind.” Robert turned to look at his rather shameful countrymen. “I’m sorry to disrupt your conversation so abruptly, gentlemen.” His polite smile didn’t reach his eyes as he locked his gaze briefly on each man in turn before turning away. He could probably buy and sell these snobs twice over. Not everyone had fared well financially after the war as his family had done. And those that had lost everything but their pride seemed to cling to it twice as tenaciously, even in the face of their peers’ quiet scorn.

Turning to Nick, Robert nodded toward the door. “If you’d be kind enough to lead the way… I don’t want to lose the track,” he said lightly, a slight hint of mischief in the quirk of the corner of his mouth.

“Of course,” Nick said smoothly. He inclined his head to each man in turn, offering the politest of smiles. “Pardon me, but we’ll have to pick this back up later.” And blessedly they left the duo and with them a weight off his shoulders.

Once they’d passed through the door an well out of hearing range, Nick let out a deep sigh. He faced Robert with a genuine smile. “Thanks. I really needed that out.”

"I could tell. They're frightful bores... But, they get invited to these events because they love to throw their money around." Robert seemed much more relaxed once they were safely outside. His shoulders dropped and his posture looked much more comfortable and less stiff. "You know, you're too good for that lot. Don't let them get to you."

Just as Robert was beginning to take his leave, he spotted Nick looking like he could use an excuse to leave a conversation. Wending his way through the drinking men, soldiers and social climbers alike, he tapped Nick lightly on the shoulder. “Ah, there you are. Pardon me, lads,” he said, disrupting the discourse. “Er, you’ve not seen Denis, have you? I was just about to head out when I remembered I lent him my cigarette case. I only hope he hasn’t left yet.”

Making a show of looking around over the heads of milling gentlemen, he tried to enlist Nick in his search. If, perhaps, he drew him away from these rather disagreeable chaps, so much the better.

Thank the Lord.

Nick did not latch on to this lovely excuse immediately, as that would show his eagerness to get away from the duo much too openly, and while they had barely shown him basic decency, he chose to depart as the bigger man here. Nick hummed in thought. “I might have seen him step out earlier, but I’m not entirely sure. I was just going for some fresh air myself–need a hand?”

"If you would be so kind." Robert turned to look at his rather shameful countrymen. "I'm sorry to disrupt your conversation so abruptly, gentlemen." His polite smile didn't reach his eyes as he locked his gaze briefly on each man in turn before turning away. He could probably buy and sell these snobs twice over. Not everyone had fared well financially after the war as his family had done. And those that had lost everything but their pride seemed to cling to it twice as tenaciously, even in the face of their peers' quiet scorn.

Turning to Nick, Robert nodded toward the door. "If you'd be kind enough to lead the way... I don't want to lose the track," he said lightly, a slight hint of mischief in the quirk of the corner of his mouth.

With another faint smile, Robert took his leave. Nick would probably make his rounds and greet the man of honor, but Robert would be found at the bar, lingering over a cigarette and idly sampling appetizers as he people watched.

Nick had made quite an impression on him to be sure. He was the most attractive young man in the room by far, at least in Robert’s estimation. And being American made him that much more fascinating. But it wouldn’t do to be caught staring, so he busied himself with food and making small talk with anyone who dropped by for a drink. When he judged he’d been antisocial long enough, he made his own rounds, shaking hands, slapping backs and counting the time until he could politely make his exit.

Alone once more, Nick made sure to finish his drink and, with liquid courage warming his veins, continued his stroll around the room, shaking hands and making polite introductions and chit chat–though none held his interest quite like the first two he’d met upon arrival. It didn’t bother him, really; he was well-versed in social custom and this was just another thing one did, entertaining or not. Eventually he at last met up with the groom-to-be, a pleasant enough man off the battlefield when not barking orders. Though he barely seemed to recall Nick (not something he blamed him for), he seemed genuinely grateful for his presence at the affair, earning Nick a hardy slap on the shoulder that nearly made him stagger.

His duty for the night satisfied, he continued to make idle introductions with whomever would have him, interspersed with the occasional fresh drink. Most were well-mannered enough, at worst polite to the point of rigidity, until he stumbled upon a charming duo that gave him the impression they found him amusing in a patronizing way. Now and then a comment about his mother country graced his ears, subtle enough to not draw outright offence. Nick felt they were trying to quietly provoke him, to needle him until the passionate, boorish American snapped and made an ass of himself in a room of strangers. Well, pity for them. He wouldn’t be taking the bait. He simply grit his teeth, held his glass tight, and awaited the moment he could leave this awful conversation.

Just as Robert was beginning to take his leave, he spotted Nick looking like he could use an excuse to leave a conversation. Wending his way through the drinking men, soldiers and social climbers alike, he tapped Nick lightly on the shoulder. "Ah, there you are. Pardon me, lads," he said, disrupting the discourse. "Er, you've not seen Denis, have you? I was just about to head out when I remembered I lent him my cigarette case. I only hope he hasn't left yet."

Making a show of looking around over the heads of milling gentlemen, he tried to enlist Nick in his search. If, perhaps, he drew him away from these rather disagreeable chaps, so much the better.

#crossing the atlantic

He took her arm and pretended to simper coyly. "Oh, you really do spoil me. How ever did I manage before you?" His other hand playfully tried to tuck a few folded bills into her now unguarded pocket.

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"You didn't," She teased back, kissing his cheek as they walked out the store, smirking when she felt him put the money in her pocket. "It's why I'm so good for you, remember?" She winked as they headed towards the truck.

"Oh? Is that why? I always thought it was because no one else had the bloody patience." He ran ahead a few steps to grab the driver's door for her and help her up into the truck.

statesmanvodka-deactivated20250

"Well, that too, but I was going to be nice." She smiled and climbed into the truck and winked, "but we both knew that."

"Ha ha..." he said, rolling his eyes as he closed her door. "You weren't supposed to agree with me."

He swung into his own seat and leaned his head back against the headrest with a sigh. "I could use a beer and a bowl of ice cream when we get home. Maybe two." Whether he meant beer or ice cream, he would leave it to her to guess.

There was a slight hint of a smile on the usually intense face. “Robert, please. My father is Mr. Muldoon. If the boredom grows too much, don’t trouble yourself about bothering me. I’m ever at your service.” Making sure Nick had his calling card, Robert stood and grasped him chummily by the shoulder before tearing himself away. Were they not both men, one might have the mistaken impression that Muldoon was flirting. But surely not, right?

‘Robert’ it was, then. Fine by him; truly, one tired of all the required Misters in a room of strangers. Nick gave the card a curious once-over, then stashed it in his breast pocket for safe keeping. He almost offered another handshake, but after that touch to his shoulder it seemed too formal. He smiled. “All right, Robert. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.”

With another faint smile, Robert took his leave. Nick would probably make his rounds and greet the man of honor, but Robert would be found at the bar, lingering over a cigarette and idly sampling appetizers as he people watched.

Nick had made quite an impression on him to be sure. He was the most attractive young man in the room by far, at least in Robert's estimation. And being American made him that much more fascinating. But it wouldn't do to be caught staring, so he busied himself with food and making small talk with anyone who dropped by for a drink. When he judged he'd been antisocial long enough, he made his own rounds, shaking hands, slapping backs and counting the time until he could politely make his exit.

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“Well, I’m going to go and grab something myself. I’m sure I’ve monopolized your attention long enough, after all. You’re probably keen to mingle with the other gentlemen.” After all, Nick came to attend a wedding and socialize, not have his time bogarted by an idle rich boy drawn to his pretty face.

Robert’s departure seemed rather abrupt, but well, it wasn’t as if the man were actually here simply to entertain him. A touch disappointing to lose a tentative connection and return to a room of strangers, but he could hardly keep the man all night. “Mostly I’m awaiting the man of the hour to give my congratulations,” Nick said. “But it wouldn’t hurt to have a go around the room. Thanks for the welcome, Mr. Muldoon.” A small smile for good measure.

There was a slight hint of a smile on the usually intense face. "Robert, please. My father is Mr. Muldoon. If the boredom grows too much, don't trouble yourself about bothering me. I'm ever at your service." Making sure Nick had his calling card, Robert stood and grasped him chummily by the shoulder before tearing himself away. Were they not both men, one might have the mistaken impression that Muldoon was flirting. But surely not, right?

He took her arm and pretended to simper coyly. "Oh, you really do spoil me. How ever did I manage before you?" His other hand playfully tried to tuck a few folded bills into her now unguarded pocket.

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"You didn't," She teased back, kissing his cheek as they walked out the store, smirking when she felt him put the money in her pocket. "It's why I'm so good for you, remember?" She winked as they headed towards the truck.

"Oh? Is that why? I always thought it was because no one else had the bloody patience." He ran ahead a few steps to grab the driver's door for her and help her up into the truck.

Robert couldn’t say he was sad to see Denis go. “I’m sure you’d like a moment to recover before you make your rounds. Shaking hands, forgetting names, that sort of thing.” He smiled at Nick politely, then finished his water. “I could have someone freshen your drink or bring over something light to eat so you’re not drinking on an empty stomach?” he suggested, wanting something himself but not wanting to be rude by eating without offering.

“Are you sure you’re not also part of the staff here?” Nick dared to tease with a slight grin. “Thank you. But I caught a quick bite before coming here. So hopefully, I’ll manage just fine.”

"Well, I'm going to go and grab something myself. I'm sure I've monopolized your attention long enough, after all. You're probably keen to mingle with the other gentlemen." After all, Nick came to attend a wedding and socialize, not have his time bogarted by an idle rich boy drawn to his pretty face.

@dodomedic

A burrowing owl rested, perched on a cactus, casually eating a small rodent. Judging by the band on its ankle, it was someone's pet. It probably belonged to whomever owned the camper it was resting near. Things had gotten crowded in the roost and he needed a bit of quiet and space.

"Yeah, you Medics have a way with birds..." He chuckled as Traf lightly nipped Dodo's finger affectionately. "Just don't go bribing him too much. Don't want him too fat to fly. Or fit in his burrow."

"You could say I am a bird!" Dodo let his fingers get nipped but the resumed the gentle scritches around the chin. He snickered at the idea of a fat owl.

"Oh most birds would rather have pets! once they figure out what we can do with our fingers!" He would have pulled his glove off to give better pets but, decided that movement might be to scary to the little owl.

Robert gave the strange man a faint smile at that. "Yes, well, I suppose most animals would. He's quite spoiled already, but too much is never enough for them."

After some time, the small owl gave Dodo's fingers another nip and he fluffed himself up. With snacks in his belly and so many pets, he was ready for a little nap.

"well where do you wish to roost little one?" Dodo watched the owl fluff up, smiling at the antics. He looked at the sniper grinning at him before he looks back at the owl pine cone. "I think that's why many of us get pets for a certain need or another." Though he really couldn't pet Long Geb, the bug didn't care for that. He couldn't just let Long Geb free either the bug was so altered that he would doom it and the ecosystem that had to support such a large creature.

"I found him and he was too small and injured to take care of himself. But, you know what they say: once you feed them, they'll never go away." He chuckled and stroked his fluffy little friend. "He has a little nest in the camper, but sometimes he sleeps in a burrow underneath."

"Oh is that a saying? you must be part of his nest." The harris hawk had left but Dodo had made sure she could hunt on her own, and honestly there was no way he could have provided her with what she needed. He missed her of course but not being woken up at the crack of dawn was very nice too. "Sorry nothing quite beats a nice little dirt hollow, isn't that right." He mimics the owl's cooing noise.

The bird replied back contentedly. It could survive on its own, to be sure. It could even find a mate. But, Muldoon provided free food when the hunt was poor. And the security from any predators was a great benefit as well. The big weird bird with no feathers would be a good protector when he was ready to find a mate and raise a clutch of eggs. Yes, this was a good nest.

"I might be part of his nest at that. He can come and go as he pleases, but he's decided he doesn't want to leave, so I guess I'm stuck." He gently smoothed down the feathers at the top of his pet's head. "Well, I guess we'll let you get back to your own hunt..."

@dodomedic

A burrowing owl rested, perched on a cactus, casually eating a small rodent. Judging by the band on its ankle, it was someone's pet. It probably belonged to whomever owned the camper it was resting near. Things had gotten crowded in the roost and he needed a bit of quiet and space.

"Yeah, you Medics have a way with birds..." He chuckled as Traf lightly nipped Dodo's finger affectionately. "Just don't go bribing him too much. Don't want him too fat to fly. Or fit in his burrow."

"You could say I am a bird!" Dodo let his fingers get nipped but the resumed the gentle scritches around the chin. He snickered at the idea of a fat owl.

"Oh most birds would rather have pets! once they figure out what we can do with our fingers!" He would have pulled his glove off to give better pets but, decided that movement might be to scary to the little owl.

Robert gave the strange man a faint smile at that. "Yes, well, I suppose most animals would. He's quite spoiled already, but too much is never enough for them."

After some time, the small owl gave Dodo's fingers another nip and he fluffed himself up. With snacks in his belly and so many pets, he was ready for a little nap.

"well where do you wish to roost little one?" Dodo watched the owl fluff up, smiling at the antics. He looked at the sniper grinning at him before he looks back at the owl pine cone. "I think that's why many of us get pets for a certain need or another." Though he really couldn't pet Long Geb, the bug didn't care for that. He couldn't just let Long Geb free either the bug was so altered that he would doom it and the ecosystem that had to support such a large creature.

"I found him and he was too small and injured to take care of himself. But, you know what they say: once you feed them, they'll never go away." He chuckled and stroked his fluffy little friend. "He has a little nest in the camper, but sometimes he sleeps in a burrow underneath."

Denis opened his mouth, but, judging by the look Robert gave him, it wouldn’t be wise to say what he’d been thinking. He just grinned sheepishly at his friend, then turned to face Nick, ignoring the stormy look on Robert’s face. “Anywhere, hm? I’m sure we can think of a few places you’d find… intriguing?”

“We’ll see. First, we have to survive this wedding.” Trying to recover his good humor, the Englishman fished his calling card from his pocket and offered it to Nick. “While I hope my… friend and I can call on you at your hotel, if you feel you have too much time on your hands and not enough to fill it, feel free to give me a ring whenever you like.”

“He’s always home, you see. The man has no social life,” Denis teased. Robert had to chuckle at that. Clearly, it was untrue. If nothing else, he had the Frenchman to irritate him on a regular basis. “In any case, I’ll leave you two to chat. I have to go and pay my respects to the groom before I excuse myself to a more pressing engagement. Monsieur Carraway, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He offered his own card and a parting handshake. “I look forward to showing you some of what this charming old city has to offer. For now, adieu. Keep an eye on my dear friend for me?”

After accepting Robert’s card, Nick gave Denis a curious look, but nodded as he accepted the handshake. “I’ll do my best.” And silently, he wondered if it shouldn’t be the other way around, someone keeping an eye on the ignorant tourist instead. “Until next time.”

Robert couldn't say he was sad to see Denis go. "I'm sure you'd like a moment to recover before you make your rounds. Shaking hands, forgetting names, that sort of thing." He smiled at Nick politely, then finished his water. "I could have someone freshen your drink or bring over something light to eat so you're not drinking on an empty stomach?" he suggested, wanting something himself but not wanting to be rude by eating without offering.

@dodomedic

A burrowing owl rested, perched on a cactus, casually eating a small rodent. Judging by the band on its ankle, it was someone's pet. It probably belonged to whomever owned the camper it was resting near. Things had gotten crowded in the roost and he needed a bit of quiet and space.

"Yeah, you Medics have a way with birds..." He chuckled as Traf lightly nipped Dodo's finger affectionately. "Just don't go bribing him too much. Don't want him too fat to fly. Or fit in his burrow."

"You could say I am a bird!" Dodo let his fingers get nipped but the resumed the gentle scritches around the chin. He snickered at the idea of a fat owl.

"Oh most birds would rather have pets! once they figure out what we can do with our fingers!" He would have pulled his glove off to give better pets but, decided that movement might be to scary to the little owl.

Robert gave the strange man a faint smile at that. "Yes, well, I suppose most animals would. He's quite spoiled already, but too much is never enough for them."

After some time, the small owl gave Dodo's fingers another nip and he fluffed himself up. With snacks in his belly and so many pets, he was ready for a little nap.

“Well, you’re going to have to be more specific… Maybe the Alnwick Poison Garden? Or the Palace of Westminster? Oh, and the Tower of London with all its dark secrets,” Denis suggested in a spooky whisper.

Robert rolled his eyes at his friend. “The bridge is fairly popular… There are a number of parks and squares that are starting to finally recover properly after the war…”

He could feel the alcohol already loosening him up, earning Dennis a short laugh for his comment. He debated crossing his legs, then decided against it and simply leaned back against the couch in a more relaxed posture. “Oh yes, the bridge,” Nick nodded in his direction. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that as well. Truly, I’m not fussy; take me where you see fit for the city.”

Denis opened his mouth, but, judging by the look Robert gave him, it wouldn't be wise to say what he'd been thinking. He just grinned sheepishly at his friend, then turned to face Nick, ignoring the stormy look on Robert's face. "Anywhere, hm? I'm sure we can think of a few places you'd find... intriguing?"

"We'll see. First, we have to survive this wedding." Trying to recover his good humor, the Englishman fished his calling card from his pocket and offered it to Nick. "While I hope my... friend and I can call on you at your hotel, if you feel you have too much time on your hands and not enough to fill it, feel free to give me a ring whenever you like."

"He's always home, you see. The man has no social life," Denis teased. Robert had to chuckle at that. Clearly, it was untrue. If nothing else, he had the Frenchman to irritate him on a regular basis. "In any case, I'll leave you two to chat. I have to go and pay my respects to the groom before I excuse myself to a more pressing engagement. Monsieur Carraway, it was a pleasure to make your acquaintance." He offered his own card and a parting handshake. "I look forward to showing you some of what this charming old city has to offer. For now, adieu. Keep an eye on my dear friend for me?"

statesmanvodka-deactivated20250

"...The dinosaurs have gotten out of their enclosures," he joked dryly as he watched an elderly couple ahead of them in line berating the cashier. "Maybe I should wrangle them for everyone's safety."

Lena smirked, playfully swatting at his arm, "Be careful, I hear these are worse than the ones on Isla Nublar." She winked at him.

"Yeah, but I can handle them. I'm a professional." He put his good arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the temple. The old woman overheard him and turned, indignant and red with rage. "Madam, I suggest you turn back around and finish your business instead of minding ours, thanks."

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Lena chuckled as he kissed her temple, running her hand over his back she scratched it and said, "ma'am that young kid doesn't get paid NEAR enough to put up with you, do us all a favor, pay for your things and go, the rest of us actually have lives to get to." She winked at the old woman which only enraged her more.

The old man looked like he might be ready to get physical, but he seemed to do the math. Two fit younger people plus him and his equally enfeebled wife would equal at least one ambulance trip he couldn't afford. Certainly, it wasn't worth a coupon for 50 cents off a box of bran cereal. Scowling miserably, he threw some money at the cashier, grabbed his things and stormed out with his wife in tow.

"Thank the Sainted Mother," Robert muttered. "My ice cream is starting to melt."

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Lena chuckled, putting her things up on the register as well. Looking at the cashier she smiled, "you okay? That couple was unhinged."

"Yeah, I'm okay, thank you for standing up to them." The cashier said ringing up their items, Lena pulled out her card to pay for their things looking at Robert a moment.

"This one wanted to come drag her out of the store."

"I was gonna chuck her in the wheelie bin," Robert said flatly. "And her bloke right behind her. Right in with the rest of the old garbage."

He had his own wallet in hand, looking at Lena questioningly. "...Sure you don't want to split it?"

statesmanvodka-deactivated20250

She shrugged “you’ll get it next time.” Waiving off his wallet she said. “I’ll get it this time.” Collecting the bag of their stuff once paid for she said “let’s get going.”

He took her arm and pretended to simper coyly. "Oh, you really do spoil me. How ever did I manage before you?" His other hand playfully tried to tuck a few folded bills into her now unguarded pocket.

“Absolutely. Robert’s treat, of course,” Denis said, giving Nick a conspiratorial smirk.

Robert shot him a brief glare before turning back to Nick. “…What sorts of places do you enjoy? Would do no good to take a museum man to a horse show after all.”

“I suppose I’d like to see the famous sites, cliche as they must be to you,” Nick decided. “Aside from that, wherever you think is best to show a tourist.” He smiled crookedly. “I’m in both of your hands.”

"Well, you're going to have to be more specific... Maybe the Alnwick Poison Garden? Or the Palace of Westminster? Oh, and the Tower of London with all its dark secrets," Denis suggested in a spooky whisper.

Robert rolled his eyes at his friend. "The bridge is fairly popular... There are a number of parks and squares that are starting to finally recover properly after the war..."

They should ALL be destroyed. @jurassicsniper - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag