laila/25

juregim (kazakh) - my heart. my interests sideblog - 17mujipens. about me

[juregim]

the most devastating thing is being faced with people who never have and never will suffer in the way you’ve managed to convince yourself was normal

[grlstlker]

do u miss my annoying presence

[juregim]

already had a breakdown over everything i will never experience because the window of opportunity has irreversibly closed for me. and now my vibrator won’t charge. shall i die?

[juregim]

Gerard “Sully” Sullivan from underrated netflix series Top Boy, your constant misfortunes and your sad eyes and your aura of crushing guilt and your disgust at your own violence have bewitched me

[juregim]

i keep trying to say something but everything ends up sounding so melodramatic. talking about shit that happened in school when i’m in my actual mid twenties is making me feel so fucking lameeee

[juregim]

oh btw i was at a party recently and the girl who bullied me so hard (after being my best best friend for five years) i genuinely wanted to die is doing well in life and is happy. she’s living a fun and fulfilling life and she wonders ‘why we suddenly stopped being friends’

[juregim]

in a society obsessed with healing you can never be healthy or at peace, you must always be on some self improvement path, you must always identify with your sickness, or more accurately, with your battle against your sickness, because it can never just be a facet of you, it must be an enemy, a rot you are morally obligated to carve out and burn in full view of others and you can never be done, there will always be sickness in you, because if there isn’t, you can’t be healing

[juregim]

i need to find a summer fling asap. at least 3 and up to 5 of them actually

[juregim]

my friend’s been just absolutely clocking me in the most no-big-deal-we-all-knew-this way these last couple of weeks. i think it’s because we hung out a little too much and she’s achieved telepathy and has been reading my mind. the other option of course, is that i overshare but that would make me the architect of my own suffering and i don’t want that responsibility

[lakemojave]

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

[lakemojave]

Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs

[goodysaurus]

mutuals what perfume or cologne do you use? 👀

[juregim]

I diagnose you with avoidant attachment

well yeah

[juregim]

i can’t stop feeling like being the loving one is humiliating. and humiliation is literally the worst feeling in the world and i will do extreme things to avoid ever having to feel that. but on the other hand being loved is suffocating. and loss of freedom is literally the scariest thing in the world and i will do extreme things to avoid ever losing freedom. simultaneously, my greatest desire is loving and being loved

[delicate-viscera]

usamerican soldier STUNNED into silence when he learns that his willing and paid participation in the murder and neocolonization of foreign people is a huge red flag to everyone with a conscience

[base-and-superstructure]

usamerican civilian stunned to learn that justifying and defending this willing and paid participation (even tho it's the only way to go to college/get a job/whatever nice thing that is apparently worth more than other people's lives and freedoms) is an equally huge red flag fr fr fr

[juregim]

i maintain that the right glasses can and do make anyone look like 10 times hotter

[juregim]

….why did my friend very casually say something like “and we don’t judge masochists because we have one in our midst, Laila and we’d never judge Laila”…… i have never once said anything about it….

[juregim]

no because i’m still on this. and when i asked her to clarify she was like “well u are aren’t u?” i’m very very much shy about discussing anything related to sex or even kissing i know i have not said that

[juregim]

….why did my friend very casually say something like “and we don’t judge masochists because we have one in our midst, and we’d never judge Laila”…… i have never once said anything about it….