There is something I have realised lately that I think a lot of people on this website need to know. There will always be people who hate the way you do things. There will always be people who judge others. There will always be people who feed off others misery and there will always be times where you feel you are to blame. Losing great people can be tough and can make you feel as if you are the scum on this planet. I honestly would sit and think of the best way to kill myself and recently, it seemed more appealing than ever.
In the past 3 years I’ve made some stupid mistakes and stupid decisions. I stayed in a relationship that I was unhappy in because I craved affection, I focused on self pity and developed into someone that no one wanted to be with and I harmed myself everyday because I felt I deserved. In the last couple of months, I decided to take a break from life.
In those months; I dealt with a bad breakup in a really unhealthy way, I prepared myself for the day that I would drive my car into a wall, I lost a good friend because of my own selfish ways and I drove everyone away. The loneliness, isolation, pain and self hatred I felt was well deserved and I hated every second of it. My friends didn’t speak to me much and I felt that was because they didn’t want me. I lost a lot of them because they had been waiting for me to speak to them first. My depression was at the lowest point it had ever been and I didn’t want to live with my mistakes and guilt anymore. A small part of me still doesn’t. But let me tell you now that suicide shouldn’t have to be your last option.
So, here are my top ten tips for moving on and loving life again.
Whether this is by leaving social media, cutting back from social events or just going out for a walk. A break from the real world will help you put things into perspective and the time to yourself will have great benefits. It’s important to not rush the passage of time and to not rush yourself. The recovery can take a long time.
2. Evaluate your relationships
If you are unhappy with someone, miss someone, or feel someone isn’t a good friend then don’t keep going at it. If things aren’t getting any better, then maybe its time to think about who you’re real friends are. Toxic relationships of any kind will only make things worse.
3. If its not too late, reach out to those you really care about
Don’t let people slip away if you can help it. Express your gratitude, make them feel loved and cared about and keep the good ones around. Whether it’s your parents, your best friend or your sibling. Losing a great friend is the last thing you want to do. If they don’t reciprocate, then don’t work yourself up over it.
4. Make a list of your qualities, strengths and the things you love
If you go back and add things to this list everyday then you will eventually feel better about who you are. Write down the little things then work yourself up to the bigger things. Sometimes, we may feel like there is nothing good about ourselves. Don’t set up standards or self expectations.
5. Don’t hide your emotions
If you want to cry, laugh or scream; don’t bottle things up. It’s okay to cry and be happy. It’s okay to not understand how you feel. If you keep emotions inside then you will become overloaded and you will release your emotions when it all becomes too much. This usually makes people feel tired and worse off in the end. You should know that it’s okay to be stuck in a slump. You are not alone.
6. Surround yourself with things you love
Replay that video game, watch that movie series, listen to your favourite music, relish in the things that once brought you joy. The happiness it once gave you will help you rekindle your love and the endorphins it will release will make you physically feel better too.
7. Celebrate small victories
If you manage to refrain from self harm, eat that healthy meal or go a day without seizing up. These small changes are a sign of better days to come. Keep up the good work and feel good about yourself for it.
8. Let yourself think positively
Don’t be afraid to say to yourself that things are getting better, that you feel better in yourself and that the future is bright. The more you say this to yourself and the more you believe in yourself, then the more likely you are to find what you are looking for. Whether, this is seeking redemption or earning self respect, you will achieve your goals and you will succeed.
You may have made mistakes, bad decisions and lost good people; but they don’t define you. You are not your mental illness and you are not a failure. Learning to accept yourself is the hardest step and it can take a very long time. It can be hard to look in the mirror and see someone you are proud to be. You must accept that these things happened and come to terms with what has come because of it. Learning how to heal and love yourself is key to moving on. Only you can do this, I can’t tell you how because everyone is different. Go at your own pace and don’t let anyone else drag you down.
10. Reconnect and live your life
Once you feel that you can get back to the normal grind, make sure to go at your own pace. Reconnect with your loved ones and make new ones. Go outside and watch people go about their day. Learn from your mistakes, make new memories and let people in. Realise that you are a better person now and that the people around you are happy to be with you. Live life to the fullest and take risks. You will soon come to realise that you are much happier and better off the way you are now.
If you feel like you want to commit suicide, this is your reason not to; we care about you. Tomorrow can be better if we make it better. Its not easy and it can be hard to move on with life. Living with mental illnesses is a daily struggle for many people. If we all help each other and don’t judge others then we can save lives. I don’t want anyone to feel like I did.
Please reblog for people who may need to hear this right now and for the people who feel like nothing matters anymore. Seek professional help if you need it and don’t hide anymore.
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