[jwalsana]

Do you ever feel unworthy of love ?

Before I get to the rest of what I have to say, first things first, this is not my insecurities speaking. This is more of an epiphany in which I see myself for who I truely am. I see my own beauty and flaws as I write this.

I've always felt that I was unworthy of love. I cannot write down one single reason why anyone would love me. I have a sense of humor but I sometimes I take it too extreme to the point where I make other people uncomfortable. I speak too loud when I shouldn't and sometimes I don't at all when I really should. I'm not pretty and I like to believe that I'm not that ugly. I'm just me.

I do believe in inner beauty. Though honestly, I think i lack it. I'm not a bad person but, I'm not that nice either. Morally I'm grey- I don't have enough faith in the world to be white nor am I too wounded by the world to be black. I make people smile but I make them cry too. There are people i care about but there are also ones i wish death upon. I point out beauty when i see it. I also very strongly hate on things i dislike. Sometimes I smile cause it's necessary and cry when it isn't. Putting up with me is hard. I'm not that easy to like nor very hard to hate.

We live in a world where cats are loved. If you can put in undivided love and care for a creature so emotionally unavailable, I think I am loved too. I can't tell if I deserve it. But everyone deserves to be loved I guess.

[jwalsana]

Love.

Watched Queen Charlotte 3 days ago and I can't stop thinking about how it portrayed love in its purest form. We met Charlotte and George for the first time back in Bridgerton and when they were going through one of their bad days. Back then I used to think that George lost his marbles much later into the marriage and Charlotte just had to step up and put up with it. It made watching Queen Charlotte so much more beautiful cause she has always loved him for who he really was.

Charlotte and George had their good days and their bad ones but they always had each other and that's love. I once read that love is a choice. Every morning you have a choice to just wake up and leave. Or you could stay. When you choose to stay, you've made your choice. You've chosen to love.

I would once again like to rant about the ending and how well written it was. I still remember myself sitting on my bed at 3 am crying but with a smile on my face cause that was the happiest and saddest ending one could get. I love how they switched between their old and younger selves, how Charlotte knew how to deal with George when was on his bad days through all those years. That's love. At its finest form. And i love them for it. Love isn't a fairy tale with a happily ever after. Love is hard. Love is full of sacrifices. But it is the most beautiful thing in the world.

"You did not go over the wall"

"No, George. I did not go over the wall"

[jwalsana]

Just me going back to replay the ending of Queen Charlotte cause it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen

[jwalsana]

Freddy Carter unironically just delivered the performance of a life time. Bro ate, left no crumbs and left

[jwalsana]

I no longer wanna have what bill and frank from the last of us had that shit got me ugly crying

[jwalsana]

I wanna have what bill and frank have asjdjkdxmkesklzla

[jwalsana]

I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK AT ME THE WAY WILLE LOOKS AT SIMON 😭😭😭

[jwalsana]

I would turn batshit crazy too if i lost my child to that little blonde bitch Visenya and her fucking dragon.

[visiondiares]

???

[jwalsana]

[kaijuno]

[nuclear-mech-wizard-deactivated]

Spider do engineering, bats do calculus, bees do civil planning, and humans get tears all over their STEM textbooks

[jwalsana]

I would turn batshit crazy too if i lost my child to that little blonde bitch Visenya and her fucking dragon.

[jwalsana]

yo why do they keep killing off all the hot guys in house of the dragon like ever 30 mins, cant we atleast keep them around for a single season before we feed them to the dragons

[jwalsana]

if I had a dollar for every love triangle there is in the alchemy of souls, I would be sending rockets to neptune

[jwalsana]

I haven't watched stranger things yet but that sadie sink scene with running up that hill playing in the background is sending literal chills down my spine. it’s high time I start watching it.

[jwalsana]

the summer i turned pretty might be corny af but it is sooooo wattpaddy ??? like dude just look at the number of love triangles! the main dude is in his sad boi phase, the second main dude is a literal greek god, her ex is my future husband, her brother lives in my head rent free and his girlfriend is my new lesbian crush I fucking love itttttt !!!

[jwalsana]

do ya’ll think i’m dumb enough to believe shit when you tell me that shailene woodley did not play nick in heartstopper ??

[jwalsana]

THE WAY I LOVE SIMONE ASHLEY                    IN EVERYTHING EXCEPT BRIDGERTON               

[jwalsana]

I am capable of being depressed for the rest of the year if twenty five twenty one does not end well