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Unless we share a telepathic link I no longer have anything to say
kaihartx:
“We are but the children of the atom, both cursed and blessed to walk the earth with the children of adam and eve, and the children of Lilith.” Kai almost recited, remembering the words his eldest brother had once whispered to him as he was being tucked into bed. Kai knew of the issues that sometimes carried with the x-gene, and the unfathomable ways in which the world treated all that they viewed as different. No matter the time or place, it seemed history was always the same, as those in power always seemed to use the power of fear, to single out a group and make them the pariahs they needed to hunt down so all would flock and heed their words.
“There’s been X-men who have been avengers, so it’s not like everything is isolated. Somehow all this superpowered bullshit intersect. Stuck in time, kidnapped to a hell dimension, or swap bodies, I’ve heard the stories. Certainly something that’ll keep you up at night. But even heroism is a business, and that’s the only language the world universally understands.”
“Which is why I chose the moniker, Killjoy. I am the bane of my family’s fun and joy, and everything that brings them happiness in their oh so bigoted way of life.” At that Kai smiled, and as he first walked into the school, arms wound tight around himself, as if to keep a barrier from and all others, had started to slowly ease. This had been the first time he was explicit with his family history, never before had he revealed the details of his family to someone, only bits and pieces, half truths that were enough to keep their satisfaction and ear. Somehow this man was able to crack the code, and be able to stop Kai from putting on the mask he’d trained himself to wear, to see it crack and crumble so his real self could escape the abysmal dark. Funny, how Kai wore a mask yet, the man whose face was like cracked porcelain, beautiful, yet breaking at the seams, was the first to let him be himself. “It’s not me I’m worried about, I could take care of them all myself easily, I just don’t know if I have the strength to do what needs to be done when the time comes.” he sighed.
As Kai sat, he let the man begin his class, taking residence in one of the seats in the far back, a little smile still on display. Jono, he was definitely more than meets the eye. Kai, gave all of the students who came in a welcoming smile, but his eyes were mostly glued to the man in front of him, wanting to see how exactly his class would follow through. This place was bustling with life, the sound of footsteps on wood, and the soft whispers and giggles of budding adulthood all around. It was was what missing from his life all those years in his house, where everywhere he looked it felt empty and cold, devoid of life. A king of broken hearts and shattered souls, solitary on his granite throne, the image of his past, now subsiding to the depths of his mind.
“Sounds like someone’s been drinkin’ too much of tha Kool-Aid,” Jono remarked with slight amusement; there were plenty of fellow mutants who followed the same idea, and they could be terrifying in their own right. Dangerous and deadly - he should know, he was related to one of them. Zealots of their kind, it was usually them to initiate the conflict - them and the humans. It was exhausting.
“No, but the Avengers are mostly cunts, so’s not like it really makes a diff.” Some of the X-Men, too, but he wasn’t about to completely bad mouth the team in front of a new student. He really shouldn’t have cursed, either, but oh well. That cat was already out of the bag. “They used to. Keep me up at night, I mean.” Jono ran a hand through his curtain of mousey brown hair and swept it away from his thick brow. “You get used to it... that ain’t a good thing, though. Not even for a ‘business’.”
Jono nodded approvingly and drummed his fingertips against the underside of his desk. “Killjoy - got a nice ring to it. I like the meanin’, too. Really gives it substance, not like some o’these other wack jobs with names like Arm-Fall-Off-Guy. Tell me ya don’t wanna fuckin’ end it all wit a name like that.” He joked, but it was true - what kind of fucking name is that? “That’s good. Hold onto that feelin’. You gotta keep what little good’s left in ya. It’s easy to lose that along the way, doin’ what we do, seein’ what we see...” Jono gripped the desk a little harder. “You’ll be fine, don’t worry.”
With that, the class settled into their seats. This was a new group - with the lifting of the ban came new faces, more confident and unique people. Jono was happy to welcome them all, even if their struggle was far from over. He wondered if it would ever end. Probably not, so the least he could do was make it less confusing for some, and if that meant answering awkward questions about sexual endeavors with gelatinous students then he supposed that was what the job called for.
A good hour passed before the class was finally over with. If he had to answer one more question with ‘it’s fine as long as it’s not harming yourself or others’ he was going to lose it, but at least he had a tour around the sanctuary would help him to blow off some steam. Plus, he was still helping. Suck on that, Summers.
“Hope that didn’t turn ya off on attending the joint,” Jono started once the last student left the classroom and all that remained were him and Kai. “Still want that tour?”
Jenny Slate, An Interview with Jenny Slate
Chamber rocking out
Chamber and Skin
[ @icarusjaybird ]
Jono could be found in one of two places — in the classroom to help young mutants deal with their more physical manifestations of their powers or he was outside with his guitar. His prior beauty, a stunning black peace that looked like it had been through hell and back, was no longer with him. She’d gone in a burst when his powers decided to act up, but he supposed he was lucky he had friends who cared for him.
So he sat against the base of a tree — the usual tree, a rather large oak situated by the greenhouse. It gave him the right amount of shading and its circumference was enough of a comfortable size that Jono would find himself asleep there. He supposed that made it ideal.
He was out there with his guitar. It was one of the few places he could strum in peace without feeling too confined. Not to mention, the day was absolutely gorgeous out, so he didn’t want to miss out on all the sunlight despite looking wildly out of place in his usual getup of all black, rips and belts — especially with a powder blue acoustic guitar in his lap, its color clean and shiny. He worked with the notes quickly, expertly; his fingers danced along the lines as his eyes took in the grounds around him.
kaihartx:
“guess it comes with the territory of dysfunctional families and the x-gene. plus being a teen is hard enough without adding superpowers into the mix, let alone super powers that make your body glue or something along those lines.” kai sighed, looking over the man with a smile. Seems like they could understand each other, and had somewhat similar almost cynical views of what all this meant. Kai could appreciate someone like Jono, he was a good guy.
“Oh I know, but at least some people do view you as heroes. Although the lineup of the x-men teams probably make it hard for the public to keep up with. Since some aspect of heroics does involve PR, sadly.” Kai knew that some heroes were just better suited for the spotlight, and that the public just ate them up like they would any other celebrities. Mutants didn’t really get that treatment, not often at least. “Yup, only because I disagree with their views. You see my family is…weird. We come from a long line of mutants who all have elemental powers, what each do varies from mutant to mutant in our family. Basically my family built a patriarchal society that worships elemental deities, and used their power in past wars. Most of my family history is covered in blood and conquest, although there were some who didn’t really adhere to that mindset. For a long time all they care about is power and feeling superior to other mutants. They have an army pretty much, mystical sages and the like who train and teach all the off spring of the current ruler to make sure they become worthy of the family name. Through worship and combat the children are to prove themselves worthy of being royalty. Problem is with each new generation they become more power hungry. Now that my brother is probably going to ascend to the throne, I’m worried of what will happen when he comes for me himself. Technically they can’t have the ascension ceremony without me there, so it’s another reason as to why I left. So you know complicated family history.”
That explanation was a lot for Kai to reveal, but it would at least give some insight into his past. “I agree with them on that choice. There’s no one better suited than someone who lives and breathes that same reality on the daily. but for what it’s worth, I’m really happy you’re doing this, even if you might wish you weren’t suited for this job.” he shrugged.
“most people don’t got common sense, so I’ll say it again, you’re pretty cool.”
“Yeah, fuckin’ tell me about it. Pretty sure all of our, ah, upbringin’s overlap.” Shitty parents, no parents, embarrassing power reveal, deadly power reveal — it all was the same, no matter how it was sliced or broken down. Every mutant had some sort of shit that trailed behind them, just some had it worse. He made friends with those people, found a comfort in kinship. It was why Jono spent most of his time in the Morlock tunnels than he did on the surface. They understood his plight to the ‘t’.
“PR?” Jono had to laugh at that. “Who d’ya think the X-Men are, kid, the fuckin’ Avengers? We swap out so much ‘cause people die or they get fuckin’ lost in some weird time bullshit. Or an alien got to ‘em.” Or worse. Jono had to chuckle to himself after finding the humor in the X-Men needing PR. Maybe they could use it.
The mouth vomit that came out of the kid was unwarranted, but not entirely surprising — what was surprising was the information so willingly given. Jono had met all sorts, from royalty to zombies to gods, so a raging zealot mutant family wasn’t entirely unheard of. Still was fucking wack, though.
“Complicated sounds like an understatement.” While his immediate family wasn’t a bunch of wankers too fucked off their rocker, Jono did have a certain homicidal maniac as part of his bloodline: En Sabah Nur, or as those so affectionately called him, Apocalypse. It was quite the shock to find the relation, but the mutant god wasn’t family, nor would he ever be, even though his blood alone altered Jono’s physiology, effectively giving him his face back for a moment. Still, it wasn’t enough to be friendly. “Well, we’ll protect ya if it does come to that. We take care of our own. That, at least, is somethin’ we know how to do.” Keeping them alive, however, was a different story.
Jono searched the kid’s face for a moment before he nodded to accept the compliment. No, it didn’t change his feelings about the situation, but it did make him feel a little better. “Thanks,” he returned as a couple of students walked into the room, chittering as they went and found their seats. Jono watched them sit before he gestured wordlessly for Kai to find an open seat. More kids would pile in soon and he was glad for the distraction.
hattiehargrove:
Remember when I said that Laura would be the last person I would be crying about? HAHAH JUST KIDDING! These panels do things to me. I mean, the way they are set up is really smart. That first panel is so visually interesting, I think, and the fact that it zooms in on his eyes when it talks about never being alone?
Oh.
I make fun of Chamber a lot. But when it comes right down to it, his story is just so engrossing and so sad and has him isolated from so many people it just makes me really ridiculously sad. Ugh, these panels, man. THESE PANELS.
TENET (2020) | “What do you call it?”
thegrimmthing:
“Wha’ would’a happened? Th’ whole damned place would’a burned down, thas wha’ would’a happened,” Ben answered gruffly, spilling some beer as he gestured with the opened bottle. “But I could see how scared ya wuz an’ tha’ it weren’t ya fault.”
“Trust me, I geddit. Lemme guess… Sumtimes ya feel like yer’a monster cos’a how ya look or wha’ ya can do, an’ ya convince yerself tha’ folks who should love ya actually hate ya or fear ya? Join th’ club, kid. Ya think I’ve gone through life looking like this an’ everything has been roses an’ chocolates? Hell no!”
Emptying the beer into his mouth, Ben took a moment to compose himself. He might look like a walking pile of boulders, but Ben was still human underneath it all and sometimes the pain of what he’d lost - the future he’d never get to have - got too much to bear. That was something that Reed, Sue and Johnny could never understand… They never had to look in the mirror and see a monster looking back.
“But ya know wha’? Them folks tha’ love ya - th’ friends yer’ve made an’ family yer chosen - they’re still waitin’ for ya t’come home ‘cos they still love ya.
“All that wha’ ya said ‘bout them hatin’ on ya? Tha’s just our own brains tryin’ ta hurt us, an’ don’t we jus’ know th’ right buttons t’push to hurt ourselves th’ most? I reckon tha’ self destructive an’ self sabotaging behaviour goes wit’ th’ territory.”
Lifting the bottle to take another swallow, Ben realised that it was already empty, which prompted a grunt of annoyance.
“So wha’ exactly set ya off anyways? Seemed like ya wuz one step away from either catatonia or a total melt down… ‘scuse th’ pun.”
Jono rubbed at the spot where he’d been hit; he could feel a headache coming, though he couldn’t tell if it was from the punch or the man’s bellowing, but he about had it. He was grateful for the save, but he was fucking exhausted and he didn’t feel like being yelled at about something he already knew.
“Someone piss in your fuckin’ cheerios this mornin’?” He asked rhetorically as he brushed back a curtain of dark brown bangs. “I know this fuckin’ song an’ dance already, mate. ‘ave since I was a kid,” Jono explained tensely, his own irritation evident. “This was different. It was a literal fuckin’ nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. I had hallucinations, for fuck’s sake! This isn’t me just fuckin’ bein’ done with it all, alright?? Not that I haven’t fuckin’ tried! I just couldn’t control myself...” It wasn’t that he made the decision just to lose control on that street corner. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle the criticism or the dirty looks or the pure hatred from some people.
He just couldn’t handle his shit right then.
“I just,” Jono sighed and buried his face into an open palm with a shake of his head. “Fuck, mate. I dunno what to tell ya. I was seein’ crazy shit an’ I just lost it.” He shrugged lamely and dropped the hand hiding his eyes, both now limply in his lap.
“Couldn’t say,” he returned and thought back to before the incident. “Felt a prick on my neck an’ then... I can’t remember. You were tryin’ to talk me down an’ that hit was the last thing. Thought I saw someone followin’ me, but.. ‘appens too often, so,” Jono shrugged again.
kaihartx:
Kai was glad that he didn’t find himself alone anymore, this place could certainly be quite overwhelming so getting lost was a no brainer. “Easier said than done though, I’m not really know to be good at makin friends. So the ones I do have I either believe that they’re totally crazy or maybe they’re just that good as people,” he shrugged, but then remembered how shady Josh was and how fiery Julian and couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. Those two were definitely people he was glad he could call friends.
“Sounds fun, I’m in,” Kai snickered at the joke glad that this wasn’t such a bad place after all. “I still don’t know what they are since I warned him that I pretty much get attacked 24/7,” but he guessed considering how much the x-men have had to rebuild their school it didn’t phase him. “My family and I aren’t on the best of terms cause I don’t really agree with their politics, they’re very much in the line of only strong mutants should survive and all that. They also don’t believe in mutations they believe to me unsightly, so I butt heads with them a lot. But I agree I am in decent hands now,”
“Ah, makes sense, and that’s really nice actually. Pretty sure this is one of the more important classes to have since I know a lot of kids end up hating their x-gene and themselves cause of it.” he sighed. “I think I’m gonna like this class,” he mused.
“You’re pretty cool,” Kai stated, smiling at the other man.
“Kid, you’re preachin’ to the choir,” Jono returned with a lifted brow. “An’ you got a shit ton of other kids who also can’t make friends, so ‘ave at it.” Mutants didn’t have it easy, especially if they were down on their luck sad sods who grew up with a stinking childhood and shit parents. Jono had neither of that, but the way his mutation manifested certainly put a halt on the friendship making. That and his piss poor attitude.
Jono snorted and had to actually roll his eyes at that. “Hate to break it to ya, but so do we. The X-Men get shit on just for existin’.” Not that they ever didn’t deserve it, but the general hatred for mutants was what really grinded his gears. The X-Men could choke for all he cared. “They think you’re unsightly?” He asked, absolutely confused because the kid looked passing. He looked fine. It sort of pissed Jono off. He shook his head. “Wonder what’d they think of me, then, fuckin’ hell.” Not that he really cared - he didn’t care what anyone thought, really.
He nodded in agreement and gestured to himself. “Case in point. Think it’s why they thought I’d be good in the position. Guess they were right.” He still wished he didn’t look the way he did, or feel the pain he felt, but it was what it was.
Jono’s expression softened for a moment before he waved Kai’s compliment off with a hand. “Thanks, but, I’m just ‘ere to help. Most people wouldn’t agree with tha’ anyway.”
“But I do feel strange-almost unearthly. I’ll never get used to being alive. It’s a mystery. Always startled to find I’ve survived.”
— John Steinbeck, from Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters
Robert Pattinson photographed by Cedric Bihr for GQ France [2017]
‘I find out things about myself when I say them.’
Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale