why don’t femmes (generally) make the first move? I see a lot of posts on twitter, and with friends I have irl, talking about how they just kinda make eye contact and wait for studs/butches to take the hint but how did that come to be a thing? I feel like fear of rejection is about equal on both sides so why is one fear expected to be “sucked up” or else the interest is illegitimate? as someone who doesn’t really id as one or the other but mostly dates femmes, it can be very frustrating ://
when you’re talking about this in the context of the butch/femme dynamic, it’s not about a fear of rejection. it’s like… idk i feel dumb saying this, but it’s a ritual. it’s just how we interact. if a femme makes a certain kind of eye contact with me, that is a move. that’s saying “alright, let’s see what you’ve got”, and butches love both the permission and the challenge of that look. it’s not that the femme is passively waiting for me to catch her eye, but that she’s waiting for me to take my turn.