— ❝ she’s the KIND OF GIRL the
arctic monkeys write songs about.
dangerous, smart, and
gets what she w a n t s❞
kailani young. 20 year old melodic angel
( ♫ ) i’ve got a sea of flowers, but all these hours are just mine alone
the shadows, the myths. her parents were rarely home when she was a child. people say she was fortunate to be born into such a wealthy family, but empty dining room tables and family days spent alone by the swing could only make you feel so much fortune ‘til you know your luck’s run out.
( ♫ ) heaven and earth have finally aligned
the first time kai fell in love, she fell in love hard, like a plane crash or a train wreck. it wouldn’t have been an issue if falling in love with this boy wasn’t comparable to disasters, but she was left bloodied and bruised. she was left crying on the comfort room floor before she walked away from it all. from her old self. from the place she called home. from all semblances of the meek teenage girl she once was.
( ♫ ) thought i couldn’t breathe without you, i’m inhaling
she left home with no idea where to go, no money in her pockets, but one goal in her head: to grow stronger every day. kai won’t let anyone step on her. she’s been treated like trash for way too long and she was sick of it. the girl will go after what she wants, when she wants it, regardless of the consequences. she never really saw the flaw in this system. not until all of her recklessness started piling up and biting her back.
( ♫ ) they love the way i walk, cause i walk with a vengeance
kailani took the big city by storm, memorizing all the right places, and befriending all the right people, to make it. her confidence grew rapidly, and she didn’t need anyone else to help her do it. she still kept contact with her relatives, talking about her adventures in college.
( ♫ ) out of food again, but we’re ten blocks from h&m
all financial help that was offered to kailani, she purposely turned away. if she wanted to learn how to survive on her own, she was going to do it right. it was incredibly difficult at first. the girl was used to getting everything she wanted with a snap of her fingers. no one really told her dolce and gabbana had to wait if she wanted to be able to feed herself.
( ♫ ) im the violence in the pouring rain, i’m a hurricane
the first time kai fucked someone for fun, she fucked him up bad. the poor soul thought they were forever, and she just thought about how the tables have turned. it was impossible to tame the firecracker of a girl, and she prided herself in her independence and her manipulative nature. falling in love was not on her calendar, and she didn’t plan on scheduling it any time soon.
( ♫ ) you say i’m crazy, i got you crazy. you’re nothing but a womanizer
nash was just a transitional phase from fucking around to legitimately dating someone. but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when she found him making out with some other woman.
( ♫ ) you know what i think? bad karma’s a bitch
in a fit of rage, she went out and slept with a girl. (also the day she confirmed she was bisexual) kailani’s always had a messed up sense of revenge. she called it fair, but he called it quits.
( ♫ ) girls like girls like boys do, nothing new
madi was her first love since moving. her first girlfriend as well. her parents were iffy about it, but that didn’t stop kai. kailani young was a firm cynic when it came to ‘fate’, but madi was the closest thing to destiny she could ever admit. it’s like the stars conspired to make up for all the shit she’s gone through and she was glad to have healy in her life. (she still is)
( ♫ ) so if you’d still go, i’ll understand
surprisingly enough, madi second guessed their relationship first. kai begged her to stay but ultimately understood that the other girl needed her space. madi stayed.
( ♫ ) you’ve given me more than i can return
the last straw frayed slowly. neither saw it coming from the other, but they mutually decided to cut their relationship short. kailani felt that madi deserved so much more than what she could offer to the table. and she wasn’t about to let herself fall way too deep again. not after what happened the first time. the two are still friends, albeit the nagging voice in the back of kai’s head, telling her to try again.
( ♫ ) so drop your guard, why’d you have to be so hard
four years later and her goals have shifted from building up her walls, to trying to break them down. she realized that letting people in wasn’t as bad as it seemed and if she was going to conquer senior year, she was going to need all the help she could get. as her favorite disney princess famously said: one alone is not enough. you need both together.
The wind blew against her hair, and her throat was getting sore. Kailani repeated her scales, glancing at the other girl every now and then. Everyone told her not to ask Melody for help when it came to singing, but she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t know Mel was gonna be this intense. Her eyebrows knotted together when she cracked at a C sharp. “Can we chill for a sec?” She croaked out, her hand reaching to soothe her neck.
Nash sighed as he listened to her, sitting down on his couch. “Yeah–that’s okay, really. I think we both needed space.” he said, shrugging before staring at the brunette. “I never meant to hurt you, Kai. I was wasted like shit.”
There was a dull throb in her chest, like the wind just got knocked out of her. She’s heard this reason a thousand times, and it still hurts. “Yeah.” She concisely said, fidgeting with the loose thread on her shorts.
Pulling away, Mindi rolled her eyes. “Come on, trust me i’m not going to hurt you or make you deal with bullshit fate, and stuff. I would just rather be more comfortable.” Grabbing the girls hand, she opened the door, dragging her toward the door at the end of the hall, opening it, pushing the other girl in and slamming the door behind her. She then went in slowly, grabbing the other girls face and kissing her hard, but softly at the same time, pushing them both closer and closer toward the bed.
“Read my mind, princess.” She said with a drunken, lopsided grin as she followed the other girl to her room. Soft giggles escaped her lips as they ran across the hallway, even though she tried her best to not make any noise. As soon as the door was shut, Kailani hungrily kissed the other girl back, her hands clumsily reaching down the hem of her own shirt and pulling it off before landing on the bed with a small bounce. She laughed again and flipped over, pinning Mindi to the mattress. With a smirk, she slowly planted kisses down her neck.
“Well, sorry there isn’t a washing machine in this coffee shop. It’s the best I could do.” she told her defensively. Zelda put a sugar packet in her coffee, “I would maybe leave the napkin there though, your shirt’s going see-through.”
“Oh, god.” She said peeling her shirt away from her skin. Kai turned to the girl and frowned. “Yeah, I know. Sorry. You don’t happen to have extra clothes, do you?” Kai knew it was a long shot, but she had to try.
Nash watched the brunette walk in, cautiously, as if she didn’t trust the environment. Knowing that it used to be her second home made him feel a bit weird at the stomach–so much had changed in such a short period of time. “So…” he repeated. “You can–Sit down, you know.” the boy said as the entered his living room.
“Uh--” She looks around and sits on a chair seemingly isolated from the rest of Nash’s furniture. “I’m good. Thanks.” Kai rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m sorry for not talking to you before. It made much more sense at the time to just run off and do to you what you did to me.” She said, getting straight to the point. The girl didn’t want to spend more time anywhere near him than she needed.
Kai’s complaint reached Zelda’s ears before she turned around to see the source. She realized soon that she had bumped into the coffee-soaked girl behind her and tried her best not to laugh, letting a chuckle or two slip. “My apologies sweetcheeks.” Zelda smiled carelessly and handed her a napkin, knowing it wouldn’t be of much assistance.
She looked up and frowned at the other girl’s cheeky grin. And to think that she would at least try not to be a complete ass and laugh about it. Kai grabbed the napkin and started wiping at her clothes, shaking her head. “Yeah, and that’s gonna help me how?”
Nash sighed, but he eventually opened his door a bit further. “Alright, come in.” he said.
Kai stepped into his apartment, rubbing her arm anxiously. It’s been long since she was last there and the aura of the room wasn’t how she remembered it. The warm home she once had was now cold and foreboding. She took a seat in one of the kitchen stools, far from where most of their memories were made. “So...” she paused awkwardly, unsure of what to tell him.
Getting invested into this girl was one thing, but the actual feelings involved were another. Sure this was great, but actually doing it with a stranger was wrong, then again, everything in her life felt wrong. Seeing the girl pull away she looked up. “Yeah, we shouldn’t do this here. But we should do it. This happened for a reason.”
Any mention of ‘meant to be’ or anything even remotely close to it made Kai want to erase people’s existence. She frowned and wordlessly grabbed the girl’s neck to pull her in for another kiss. This happened for a reason was absolute bullshit and she was having none of it. If she wanted to discuss fate, she would have gone to a youth service.
One second, Kai was happily sipping on her frappe, the next, she was drenched in coffee, her white blouse clinging to her skin. Shock overcame her and she stood frozen in the middle of the coffee shop. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She said as soon as she came to her senses. The statement was more of a frustrated poke at her recent streak of bad luck than an attack towards whoever spilled on her.
“Hey, listen. I let you off the hook on that whole slave for a day auction thing so you owe me.” She said, waving around her nail polish brush. “We share the same skin tone and I don’t want to remove my mani until I’m sure what color would look better on me. People here are so fucking white it’s like a cracker circus.” Kai shook her head, tsk-ing sarcastically. “I’ve got so many faves that are problematic. The American education system should seriously consider propagating information about culture appropriation and whitewashing.” She continued painting his nails, resting her chin on her knee as she talked.
“I’m honestly all for that leopard print one.” She said, pointing at the lingerie strewn across her bedroom floor. Kai suddenly got the strong urge to clean out her wardrobe and buy some new stuff. Of course, she’d consulted Jacqui because no one would have been more perfect for the job. Kailani hopped off the bed and picked it up, tossing it to her best friend.
The girl threw her head back laughing before tossing a popcorn at Madi. “You’re such a fucking dork, I swear to God.” She said, shaking her head and turning her attention back to the television. Even though things weren’t like they used to be, she was glad that Madi and her were still friends. Contrary to other people’s belief, being friends with someone you used to have sex with isn’t weird at all. ( is it? ) Kailani side glanced at her ex girlfriend and admired the familiarity of her presence. She wasn’t sure just how she felt for the other girl, and she didn’t plan on over-analyzing it any time soon.
“I’m not going to fight you.” She said as she noticed how wary his expression was. “I just came to talk. I think it’s just about time, right?” Kai continued, her brows knotting together. She was so tired of all the angst in her life and she decided it was time to go through some type of emotional spring clean up.
Kailani briskly pushed the other girl against the bathroom wall, her body shaking with anticipation. She’s never considered herself lonely, but one too many drinks and the girl across the bar started looking a whole lot like Madi. Kai placed both of her hands on either side of the other girl’s head and leaned in for a kiss, swiftly closing the gap between them. The brunette pressed her entire body against the stranger, hungry for more contact. Kai’s hand slid down the wall and laced into the girl’s black hair, gently cradling her head. She wasn’t even sure what her name was, all she knew was that it also resembled her ex-girlfriend’s name, which was enough reason to make out with her, right? Kailani pulled back, slightly out of breath. “We shouldn’t do this.”
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