Just Off the Key of Reason

✨The Deals Warlock Wrangler✨ Tumblr's Unofficial Mom Shaped Figure MY HUSAND IS THE LAWYER Askbox is currently OPEN AGAIN besties

[kaity--did]

As was Requested here is a pinned post with the tags I am using to kind of, I don't know, make some sense of the nightmare that is this word vomit journal that I use tumblr as. I have been on this hellsite (affectionate) for over a decade so I am SLOWLY updating old posts. I am TRYING MY BEST OKAY? Okay.

Stories and Tales about My Little Deals Warlock (Penny Rose)

Tales and Bragging about the Man Who Helped Make the Warlock (Husband)

All The Asks in One Place (And a Tag so you Can Block Them)

Patron Saint of Warlock Wrangling (Just Me Baybe)

Stories from the Nonsense Family (Extended Family Members & Pets)

One Stop Shop for Things I’ve Said (Advice from A Mom, Take at Your Own Risk)

Food I’ve Made, Thought About, Dreamed About, Want to Make (I’m So Hungry)

Other Peoples Pets

The Deal’s Warlock’s Merry Band of Men (our pets)

Posts I Post for My Husband to See After Work

[kaity--did]

oh my gosh I think our littles have technically the same birthday, just in different timezones. as mine turned 2 today! happy birthday to penny, I hope she had a wonderful day :>

Oh actually Penny's Birthday is June 3rd! I'm just bad at answering asks in a timely manner LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UR SMALL

[kaity--did]

Happy birthday to The Deals Warlock! We share a the day in the month in which our birthday is!

SHE SAYS FANKS

[kaity--did]

Hi Internet Mom,

I'm nonbinary (demigirl if we're getting precise, which we are) and I am starting to go by they/them and the name Sasha. I'm worried about my parents' reaction. I know they won't throw me out or anything like that, but I'm pretty sure they won't understand right away. Which I understand, of course, they thought they had a daughter for about nineteen years, but still. Also I'm worried that it's actually just a phase? Which is pretty stupid but I worry about lots of things. Anyway, feel free not to answer this ask if you don't want to—I'm just scared and worried about everything ever.

Have a nice day. Happy birthday to Penny the deal warlock! I always enjoy seeing her adventures on my dash.

Bye,

Sasha

Hey like if it is just a phase so what? You're allowed to have phases, you're ALLOWED to change your mind about things and that never makes any thing you feel in the moment ANY less real. We're literally all changing every moment from day to day and I've never understood people using "it's just a phase" to make someone less important. Like so is childhood? So is menstruation? So is every other aspect of the human life cycle? It's okay if something doesn't stick that's the beauty of being human - you're allowed to test things out!

And you should tell your parents that! If you have a comfortable relationship with them let them know hey I just wanna try this for a little bit and maybe it will stick and maybe it won't but I want to find out together? Honestly most of the time us parents just wanna be involved!

[fullmetalwindbreaker]

[lakevida]

[thequeeninyellowlace]

[kaity--did]

Hey Internet mom!

My IRL mom is pretty cool BUT my IRL ex dad is a total ableist asshat. Would you be open to being a dad too or should I ask your husband?

I can be a dad! I could be a great dad watch this

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

[kaity--did]

Any big plans for Queen Penny's 5th????? (Can't believe how fast time flew! 🤯)

Oh gosh, we are about to start a three week party.

Her grandparents get in on her actual birthday on the third

She is having a birthday party at school on the third and then her grandma is coming with me to pick her up

And then we're having a birthday party with the grandparents here in North Carolina and her grandparents from New York on Saturday

It's going to be a combined birthday party with her dad whose birthday is on Monday!

Then on Tuesday, Penny and I are getting in the car and going back to New York with her New York grandparents for two weeks 😂

She is going to be just party rocking for the month of June

[kaity--did]

Hi internet mom shaped figure,

My longest and only committed relationship ended yesterday, also my hamster died and I have a job interview soon. Can I speedrun processing loss also can I get some reassurance people get ok after this kinda thing

and some reassurance nothing has to die when breakups happen this is the second time someone has broken up with me and something died around the same time

Oh god I'm so sorry I promise you that correlation is not causation! It is absolutely dog shit that this has happened to you twice but I promise you that it is not like a thing that has to happen. It is just a thing that has happened!!

Please take time to mourn the loss of a relationship, but know that you are now about to set your wings free!!

[kaity--did]

An ask said happy birthday earlier, so I'm sending Penny Pup

PENNY PUP WE LOVE U

[kaity--did]

I'm with your mom here. Let them get scurvy

This is what we like to call 🌈consequences of our actions🌈

[kaity--did]

Hi, I don't have a question, I just wanna show you my puppy cause it makes me 😵‍💫🤯 how cute she is. Hope u enjoy. 🫶🏼

SHE LOOKS LIKE A STUFFED ANIMAL!!!!

[me0wdy-pardner]

That’s a webkinz white terrier actually

[kaity--did]

Oh my god yes I couldn't put my finger on it but this EXACTLY

[kaity--did]

Hey, wanted to let you know that it looks like in the screenshot convos with your husband and mom, it looks like penny's face is visible as your mom's contact photo. Its small but I figured you might still want it censored

Oh thank you! That one is okay - it's tiny and been heavily filtered from 3 years ago! But thank you for looking out!!

[shadowgremlin]

Hey tumblr dad, got any good dad jokes?

my kid isn't really into jokes yet she just likes to "play monster" where I have to chase her around the house until my old man lungs fail me also sorry this has been in my inbox for like six months

[kaity--did]

This is a blatant lie, you just send the dad jokes to ME AND MY MOM

[kaity--did]

I've learned from my time on the internet and as a woman with female identifying friends that many a time when a woman's husband (boyfriend etc) is smirking and typing quickly there's a very real possibility that he's texting another woman (romantically)

When my husband does this he is FOR SURE texting another woman but it is FOR SURE my mom and he is FOR SURE texting her some bullshit he thinks is hilarious

Exhibit A

[kaity--did]

Exhibit B: Explaining Internet to my Poor Poor Mother

[sonnearchive-deactivated2022120]

[hydramaticide]

Work it grandma

[hydramaticide]

OK I SAID WORK IT AND SHE REALLY DID

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

I think you mean, "Work it, GREAT grandma". And she does!

[cobaltstarling]

@kaity--did

[kaity--did]

I've learned from my time on the internet and as a woman with female identifying friends that many a time when a woman's husband (boyfriend etc) is smirking and typing quickly there's a very real possibility that he's texting another woman (romantically)

When my husband does this he is FOR SURE texting another woman but it is FOR SURE my mom and he is FOR SURE texting her some bullshit he thinks is hilarious

Exhibit A

[kaity--did]

Hi internet mom friend! I'm pregnant for the first time and I'm both very excited and intermittently losing my mind with anxiety over all the things I can't predict and the things I can't possibly be prepared for. On the one hand, I am comforted that I'm doing this at the right time in my life and with someone I am so excited and grateful to be doing this with. On the other hand, oh my god I want to do a good job. I want to do the best job. I want to love and care for and protect and aid this tiny person who depends on me for everything in the world and oh my god that's so much pressure. Everyone I know says I'll be a great mom but I feel so much fear. How do I cope with the uncertainty of life when the consequences of potentially messing up are so high?

So the first piece of advice I have is that if the anxiety gets to the point where it's like hey I can't actually function you need to talk to a doctor and get you some Zoloft baby

Pregnancy anxiety is something that happens and is what I like to call normally abnormal - the surge of hormones is freaking the hell outta your brain

On the flips side the fact that you're worried about it shows that your CARE!!

Like honey baby cakes you're going to screw up, because you are human. You're gonna make mistakes - if you didn't make mistakes, that would screw your child up even more I think! The most important things to remember to TRY and APOLOGIZE and LEARN and GROW and LOVE

That's literally all there is to it.

Like yall im an idiot and I have a p cool kid