TRASH

absolute garbage ghey about: I AM TRYING AGAIN WRITING THIS. OKAY. I AM KAT. I ALSO GO BY KAR. SO I GUESS CALL ME KARKAT. WHATEVER. SHUT UP. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT MYSELF. THIS IS GOING TO GET GHEY. I DEAL WITH SHITTY HEALTH AND A SHITTY ABUSIVE FAMILY. IT SUCKS. I HAVE TONS OF BREAKDOWNS THAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING HARD TO GET UNDER CONTROL. I CALL MYSELF TRASH BECAUSE I LITERALLY AM. I AM A SHITTY PERSON. WHEN I WAS BORN, MY MOM FORGOT TO FLUSH THE TOILET. I LIKE REALLY AWFUL ENTERTAINMENT RELATED MEDIA. I AM TERRIBLE AT WRITING. LIKE. SO BAD. AND SO I WRITE FANFICTIONS. MY BRAIN SUCKS. I USUALLY WAKE UP FEELING LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON AND FORGET THINGS ABOUT MYSELF, BUT THE EXTREME DEPRESSION IS STILL THERE. IN FACT, I AM BASICALLY DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. IF YOU NEED ME TO TAG SOMETHING, TELL ME. I LIKE MAKING FRIENDS, SO TALK TO ME. I AM ON SKYPE AND DISCORD, FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR MY USERNAMES ON THERE. BUT I AM TOO NERVOUS/SHY TO MESSAGE FIRST MOST OF THE TIME. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WANTING TO WATCH MOVIES/SHOWS WITH ME AND CREATE SHITTY OTP's/RP's AND SHIT, MESSAGE ME. BONUS IF YOU WANT TO HELP MY SEVEN CATS AND I MOVE OUT, BUT THAT IS SERIOUSLY NOT NECESSARY. current interests: SCIENCE. BUMBLE BEES. SPACE. SHITTY PARODIES OF SITCOMS. SHITTY SHOWS/MOVIES/BOOKS. BEING IRONIC. DARKNESS. VIDEYA GAMES. IDK THIS PART IS A MESS. SHOULD I INCLUDE MY DISLIKES OR SOMETHING? I AM SO BAD AT CREATING BIO's AND ABOUT ME SECTIONS. fandoms: star trek, fire emblem fates conquest, south park (shut up), rick and morty, angry birds, acnl, homestuck, gravity falls, dan vs., steven universe, pokemon, xiaolin chronicles (shhhh, it was so horribly bad that it was just hilarious to me), garfield, teen titans go, invader zim, koth parodies, snl, mad tv, that's my bush, every badly animated cgi film. (THIS IS A FUCKING MESS. IDK. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO OR WHAT TO SAY SHIT.) tags: angry birds, steven universe, homestuck, rick and morty, science, space, south park, pokemon, creek, gravity falls, tweek, peridot, bill cipher, steven universe, the starlight calliope, me, gpoy, selfie, bickering, chat, jimbles notronbo, best, hate spam, animals, homestuck theories, lord english edits, drawings, tomtom, helpful, personal, vintage shitfit, kalmasiope talks, helpful, reference shhhh, i will eventually fix all this up 8[ sh-shut up. boxes are the shit links: art tumblr | deviantart | youtube | fanfiction | seg | asd past icon

[kalmasiope]

HOLY SHIT. THE LIKES!! I'M BEING BURIED BENEATH AN AVALANCHE OF LIKES!!

OH GOD, I AM SORRY!

[kalmasiope]

Sorry, but I really want everyone to forget I exist. I can not stand myself, I get nauseated at my own existence.  I am a highly toxic individual and need to cut myself out. You all deserve someone better that can actually contribute back for a healthy friendship. I keep waking up in a huge heart-attack type panic deeply worried if I accidentally messaged anyone. I am just so messed up. I am depressing, stupid, pathetic, awful. I feel like a huge creep when I am about to message someone, and so I back away too scared to talk to anyone. There is nothing I like about myself. If I ever show up again, it will only be to wish a people happy birthdays, but that is it. I just want to disappear entirely, including out of memory. I am just ew.

[kalmasiope]

Curled up into a ball trying to wait for pain to pass, suddenly large cat appeared, seemed to sniff at me, quickly vanished. I screamed and feel bad about it because I like cats, I just scare easily. Should get my eyes checked again. Keep randomly seeing cats that are not there. Really really hope it is not a bad omen. When I spot a glimpse of a cat, it means they died. But this one kind of resembled a lynx and just sniffed at me. Maybe it thought I was dead? Sorry, I know this is dumb and I feel too shy to post anymore because I feel bad that my posts are just depressing, but I wanted to share this.

[kalmasiope]

@musoto Thank you so much for the information and for what you said. It is absolutely helpful.

[kalmasiope]

Oh no. Too much of me. Time to return back to the shadows due to my extreme amount of self-detestation. Want to just vanish. Do not like hearing myself talk or anything about myself. So sorry for tainting everyone's existence with mine.

[kalmasiope]

@thebigdeepcheatsy

Sorry for the confusion. My parents had told my relatives I have that because they are highly embarrassed of me. I felt it was a bit ironic since I still have to get checked for it. Just scared of needles.

And yes, I know what painful is. x_x I actually take two 500 mgs of Naproxen as much as House pops Vicodin due to all the headaches I get. I like making jokes about it. I get nightmares all the time due to the unhealthy state of my brain. Once felt this indescribable stabbing at the back of my head, mri revealed it to be a blob of some sort. Still got to get that other scan that involves dye injection. x_x Needles suck. Tl;dr, it probably is not that, but will still get it checked! Thank you for your concern! ^^

[kalmasiope]

@musoto

YESSSS! OH MY GOD. IT WAS SO GREAT! THE SONG WAS JUST HILARIOUS AND AWESOME. MADE ME WISH I HAD FRIENDS TO SING WITH. I LOVED ALL THE HILARIOUS DIRECT COMMENTARY THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE. BEST. “WHO WANTS TO LIVE IN KOREA, THEIR NAME SOUNDS LIKE GONORRHEA.” This show is a gem.

[kalmasiope]

Why is part of your head numb?

Wat. Uhhhh, I have no clue, sorry. Sorry for not answering this sooner. I am scared of anons and skip on their asks so I will not suddenly break down.

Oh, OH. HA! I HAVE THE MOST PERFECT JOKE!

I AM BASICALLY....

A NUMBSKULL!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh man, I am the most hilarious person ever.

[kalmasiope]

Okay, okay hear me out (lol Pirate Captain negotiating with Brock), but has any one visited this page? http://youtubepoop.wikia.com/wiki/Maxie I cracked up laughing so hard. I love this website. I love that it works with my phone too. It is absolutely hilarious.

Edit: Oh wow, sweet. Tumblr automatically made the link a link and I did not have to type out the a href thing.What the fuck is a href, like fuck you, man.

Edit: Found the Billy Mays page and died hard of laughter.

Edit: Why is that website so great and hilarious.

[kalmasiope]

just wanted to say I think you're really great! don't drink too much though ;w; ok?

Aw, thank you, Akki! You are great as well! Sorry, I drink like a fish. I would quit if I had something positive in my future, or if I had something about myself I valued. I appreciate your concern though. You are very nice. ^^

[kalmasiope]

@musoto

I agree! I freaking love this show! People are just haters. Have you seen the hilarious K-pop video? Oh my god. This show has its moments! Frequently.  Forgot that I basically grew up with the Family Man and it is why my humor is trash. Best.

[kalmasiope]

He hA my cat is so fat and funny. He is a raccoon. Would post a photo but phone will crash. Funny FUNNY fat cat.

Oh man, since I dress in black all the time I should wear a yellow shirt to resemble a bumble bee. Ha, bumble bees are so funny. I am sad they are going extinct.

Good thing there are all these Family Guy dvds here, I love this show so much. Ha Peter is so funny and relatable. "Hey, are you Richard Simmons? Hey are you Richard Simmons best friend, Richard Simmons?" Gawd, that is so my humor.

Shit. I think I am drunk posting. Sorry.

[kalmasiope]

@musoto

After much thought, I decided to get my brain checked next month. Thank you for helping me see this seriously. I usually laugh hard at my pain and create a fanfiction loosely based on it to further laugh since no one else irl takes my problems seriously. (Idk, long stupid STUPID story, they always yell "AY KAT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO SERIOUS)

Oh man, there is this funny joke I told myself the other day.

Me: -Tries hard to be nice to irl people.- Irl idiot: -Exists.- Me: Oh no. It must be difficult living with the heavy brain damage inflicted upon you from when you were a baby and your parents mistaken you for literal fecal matter that they attempted flushing down the toilet until they assumed you were just a blood covered football and then kicked you around for a bit until they realized you were actually a human child to which they immediately dropped you on the head and then kicked around yet again for a bit until they realized it is illegal to do that! D: You have my greatest sympathies and condolences. You poor thing. -Pats them on the head.-

And when I encountered sympathy cards at Walmart, I cracked up laughing so hard. That would be the icing on the joke! I could dress in black (though I already dress in black), pretend to cry and hand over the idiot the card stating "YOU POOR, POOR THING, YOU!" I am so so funny, oh my god, but irl people do not appreciate that.

That is actually one of the reasons I had to delete my Facebook, I was trolling irl people the other week and sent this idiot that, which is not safe because they will find out where I live.

Sorry for being chatty and if I make no sense. I took a huge massive swing of vodka to handle the thought of needles in my future because I am a gigantic wuss. Every time I have to get an injection, the nurse always ALWAYS pops my vein and they have to use the vein in the back of my hand which hurts a lot. Hopefully this time will be different.

Oh, OH MY GOD. March 8 will mark ten years that we have known each other. I think that is really cool. You are the first human I have spoken to this long that is not blood related. That is neat. You are awesome.

[kalmasiope]

@musoto I am sorry. If it helps any, I laugh hysterically sometimes at my messed up situations.

[kalmasiope]

Parents said that earlier I fell over while stepping out my room and that Tomtom ran like hell. I have no memory of that.

[kalmasiope]

Liver highly indestructible apparently. Can consume pain killers and tons of alcohol and function like nothing happened. Must be a mutant of some sort like the fleas and cockaroaches here.

[kalmasiope]

Also, in a lot of pain, but it vanished? Skull is numb on left side. Do not know why. Need to be checked for brain cancer, but a coward and shy. Needles and biopsy sounds scary. Parents also told relatives I have that because they are embarrassed of me. Sucks, but ironic. Only things that make me happy is musoto, some people, pokemon, funny things on youtube poop wikia. (Especially Maxie's page. Cracked up laughing so hard.) Wish to afford new pokemon game.

Can not function out in the real world.

Learned Maxie falls to his knees in Alpha Sapphire and cracked up laughing. He is so relatable. Even parodies of him are relatable.

Got accused of being a witch due to looking young for my age. Got offended and told them I prefer the term wizard. Looked at me weird.

Deleted my facebook because could not stand people hitting on me all the time. Got accused of being an otherworldly creature. Liked that. Feel like an alien. Probably genuinely an alien soul. Hate otherkin alien people because they are all human and are just pretending to be alien. Can not relate with them because they display typical traits all humans have. Nasa's technology is highly primitive. Cries sometimes due to that. Want off this planet.

Got excited hearing about new Samurai Jack episodes. He is kind of relatable. Feel like him a lot, especially when helping others. Idk, my posts are ghey. Sorry. Terrified to death of tumblr. Took tons of courage to even return here.