Kalyca

I'll paint it pink. I'll write it poetry.

[kalycamakespoetry]

Our Trip and Every Nice and Bad Things in Between

It has been the longest road for you and the best trip for me Now I know where to go and what to do You give me security and stability in a relationship, kindness and support things a human deserve that probably I never fully had one in my life

I want to be forever with you, Eating candies even though our teeth are gone already Watching our kids making mistakes like we used to do when we were younger Tasting all of the foods you cook Looking at you laugh at some jokes I don’t understand Talking for hours with you Sharing bitter stories of my day anytime and anywhere I want

But building a relationship is like teaching a toddler to eat vegetables It is so difficult and a lot of processes, it kills me slowly We have different words and ways I want you to be happy, but I don’t understand how You want to put me first at the top priority, but it feels strange to me

We lost in tears, so many times We got the wrong translations, we lost in it Our expressions are just like chalk and cheese You are earth with the land and the sea, I am the mars cover with red sands all over it

And I don’t have any idea on why and how this can work And you’re just turning around, in and out searching for clarity

I just want us to be like a ship in calm water, even when people say that relationship is like riding a rollercoaster with eyes closed.

I want to try building the ship with you and pray for the calm water together.

I want to see you walking on air and I'm holding your hands.

I want to believe that fairy light will help us sleep through the night when our hearts are still crashing each other, and they will erase all of our sadness and anger that night, and we will find ourselves falling in love with each other over and over again in the morning

I want us to be free of each other’s chain and truly give it all out for us

Learning each other language and punctuation Saying the only words we both know well enough, I love you even when emotions are not on our sides and hatred fills our hearts

I want to go on that hard and long road with you, ride a rollercoaster with eyes closed while dreaming a ship and calm water

I want to try and put aside all unrealistic expectations that sometimes bother me, bother us And even if I have to cry thousand times a day, get lost in translation a hundred times a day, forgive and apologize a couple of times a day, I want to do it with you

for the one i want to spend my life with Dec 25th, 2021

[kalycamakespoetry]

It’s all bad, it’s all bad What my thoughts say about her and my childhood it’s all bad, it’s all bad What my brain draws a picture about the memories of her It’s all bad, it’s all bad

- Kalyca, “Inner Child and Memories”

[kalycamakespoetry]

I hate it when my mom came home It’s like she ruins a lego we’ve been trying to build for the last 12 hours and just like that, it’s crumpled down

- Kalyca, “Story of Mom and Dad”

[kalycamakespoetry]

I hate it when my dad comes home It’s like he’s quiet and just dealing with his own self not even being inside the conversation,  not even being the angel, being the devil, whatever He brings no joy no sadness, no hatred or anger he’s just there in the present, but nothing he ever does

- Kalyca, “Story of Mom and Dad”

[kalycamakespoetry]

turning quarter-century is indeed funny.

[kalycamakespoetry]

I actually hate social media It can drown you to the deepest fear you’ve been avoiding so far It can make your brain and heart feel very stupid It can keep you from living your life to the fullest with just one single click your memory can be burn quickly  and you don’t even notice it And fuck I hate that

- Kalyca, “And F I Hate That”

[kalycamakespoetry]

But to love is to accept, to love is to compromise with the flaws, is it?

Kalyca, “Compromise”

[kalycamakespoetry]

The thing I know about friendship is that it has some spaces and loves but you add more to the list It’s written “disappointment”

Kalyca, "Friendship"

[kalycamakespoetry]

I thought I will never be able to write poem ever again Astronomy said you bring the poet in me Well, it’s true, but not true enough I still can write poem as many as I want I just can’t write about love

- Kalyca, “After You Left”

[kalycamakespoetry]

People see human as black and white, 

When daddy drinking coffee,  read newspaper, and eat like crazy It’s black

When mama cooking dinner,  wash everything in the house,  and take care the baby It’s white

But, you

see them 

colorful

You’re wonderful

-Kalyca, “Ideology”

[kalycamakespoetry]

You are my friend You are always welcomed here I am proud to know you in my life

- Kalyca, “To Everyone Who Think They Don’t Belong To Black And White”

[kalycamakespoetry]

There are some people around you whisper, saying that there are some parts of yourself that are broken  You deserve to be punished, they said When in the morning you wear rainbow in your body, and you don’t get permission from your daddy

- Kalyca, “To Everyone Who Think They Don’t Belong To Black And White”

[kalycamakespoetry]

Bravery is the first thing they remember about you, the first thing i remember about you Tolerance is all over your lungs,  Kindness is how your eyes blink, And pride is the sound of your heartbeat

- Kalyca, “To Everyone Who Think They Don’t Belong To Black And White”

[kalycamakespoetry]

Inside of my house, you can see a market at the end of the year, so crowded --- My house is like a party at the end of sophomore year You can see panties are flying free --- My house is a busy road with crazy traffic and policeman pretend to be gold and passenger in the bus watching Netflix --- My house is a perfect escape place where I buy the cheapest happiness, no market sell it where i dance craziest, no party allow it where i complain boundless no road have it

- Kalyca, “The House”

[kalycamakespoetry]

I don’t know how God did that this is too fast I can’t feel it a month feels like a second 1000 tears feels dry Is world going to collapse? Are we going to die?

- Kalyca, “Are We Going To Die?”

[kalycamakespoetry]

She wears skirt by the way, I don’t like skirt I like pants and blouse You know that And she likes to read poetry, me too You took a picture of me while I was sitting in the table playing guitar You take a picture of her now while she’s eating She smiles I didn’t realize She tickles you I smiled You hug her You kissed me You say, “I love you.” You said, “you’re beautiful.”

- Kalyca, “You Look So Good Now”

[ishanijasmin]

You look so good now -  now that you’re not for me anymore. Windowboxes. You got a patio. You really pulled yourself together, didn’t you? But you’re not mine. Actually, if we’re being honest, you haven’t been for a long time. I like to think you stopped liking me long before  I stopped liking you. The cold of a wooden floor on my pudgy fingers in the winter. A slap in the face when I didn’t even know to expect it. It’s difficult to remember when you still cared. I remember when I stopped, though. Here is where I learned to grow for the first time. This hallway was papered with my progress. I lost all my teeth here, two by two by two. I’ve always been here.

the house sale | ishani jasmin (via ishanijasmin)

It’s like the universe lead the way.