Becoming grounded and focused, you feel the peace of your place through instruction and routine. Your mind relaxes and calms. You feel centered. It's a headspace you enjoy, a welcomed retreat from the chaos of life.
Selfless, eager, devoted and obedient, fulfillment for you comes through your service to me. You are too smart to just mindlessly obey, you need to be put to task. Observant, attentive and ready, you strive for perfection.
Your drive for perfection is so special. I do not need to outline consequences for you to suffer..... No need to verbally degrade or humiliate you for your shortcomings.... I have no reason to punish you for acting out....
Yet still you suffer... You need to. You need to feel the release of enduring. It pushes you deeper. A taste of something sweet. Your body craves more.... So you suffer more. Positions of stress, making muscles burn and fatigue. Pushing through, you need more...
But in your mind, it twists. "Why do I want this?" "What kind of person would.....need this?" Soon my words confirm your fears... Degrading and humiliating words resonate in your mind. There is confliction in the recognition that these are unsavory things to be said about you, realizing they describe you well, yet knowing you're still a good girl! Your mind begins to race, bouncing from conclusion to conclusion.
Punishment. Physical punishment snaps your mind back into focus. Punishment not for transgressions, but because you need to be calmed. You need to be punished for all the degrading and humiliating things you are. You are those things because you need to suffer... Suffering for that release..... But the punishments push you deeper. You suffer through them, hearing what you are. It's a release.
The release intensifies the more you suffer. The intensity causes your sex organs to swell and become sensitive. Your skin is soft and responsive.... Mentally, more conflicts. Your punishments have become sexualized. You begin to crave more intensity as you're turned on...
Your thoughts turn to a fog the moment I verbalize the sexualization of your suffering... More intensity, brutally, anything to increase your suffering. You need it. It's your release.
Sexual stimulation in very unflattering ways, flips you to a hyper sexualized state of need. Mental and physical cravings for more. You suffer through. Serving me sexually fuels your desires to please. It calms the chaos in your mind and gives you some focus.... Your focus is narrow while all other thoughts ar switched off... You focus on your sexual objectification. Selflessly, you need to be used...
This cycle perpetuates itself. It's intoxicating to you. Kept on edge, it's a consuming state of ecstasy. You will do anything not to break it, you need to keep feeding it. This is your release, you beg to not orgasm and have this all come crashing down.
Even when the stimulation subsides and you're mentally and physically exhausted, there is an ember that burns. An inextinguishable desire to feel this all again.... It's a part of you now. You'll forever be desperate and needy.