draw&cry

old woman does fanart & other stuff / bad english, be kind to me

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More wine! (with spinal fluid of course)

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On guard

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Hurts - Silver Lining (Lyrics)

Levihan 115 feels again, don't thank me, I don't thank myself.

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Levihan sketch

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Watercolor redraw. Brace ourselves for 116

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Sorry I just can’t get it out of my head..

I think this is not going to end up well. It will be just like with Erwin, you’ll see. But I’ve been thinking.. would I be really that happy if Levi survived in the manga? I’m afraid, that to have strongest impact, his story must be tragic in the end. I know I will cry myself nuts, but without his death, the story would lose its strenght. He has to die in the story so that he could live in my heart forever.

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What if..

.. we get Hange's backstory!! (little bit afraid of what it would mean, you know.., but still curious)

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I strongly do not recommend to draw Levi listening to Prince Igor opera, thank you.

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SnK 115 and what will happen.

Allright, Zeke x Ymir paralell -> Zeke's neardeath experience -> Zeke now knows what is right -> goes right to dying Levi and cures him through his new godlike powers -> kills Floche -> the end.

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Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.

Ash wednesday just today. My hope still lives.

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Some springtime Levi for your better mood ❤️

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Snk 114

Ok so after reading the whole chapter.. After Zeke's full backstory. After Reiner's.. ugh.. after literally everyone's backstory.. We still hope that Levi survives, that everyone survives? What exactly does Isa want to say? Get us down with so many depressing traumatizing stories about parental hopes and failures, far back to the history of families, continuously it's children and parents who makes the history of the world. It seems so hopeless, as if anything you try never can be good, as if you haven't a little chance to forsee the outcomes of your decisions (I know, it's Levi's quote, but I see it more wide), in optics of a parent it's even more terrifying. We are slowly led to Zeke's state of mind. Nothing bad would happen, if we were never born, we should agree with him, no? And still we hope everyone survives. Why? Because we love the characters. Because love and relating is stronger than any rational pros for euthanasia. Because there is still good and evil, life and death. Wow, once again I have that feeling, that there is something big speaking through Isaiyama. We'll see :) (english is not my native language, sorry)

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Shit shit shit

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It has always been one of my biggest fears, that I will repeat the mistakes of my parents. No matter how hard I try to avoid them, the past will find me. I spent so much time analysing my family history and there are lot of sins to wash away.. so I thought, I can clean this, I can take everything on me and do it right this time.

You can see why SNK affected me and it’s getting stronger and worse each month. I found Hange my personal hero, she’s so much like me. So this time, if Isayama breaks her, if she finds herself doing things she always fought against.. it would seriously break ME totally. And honestly, I’m almost sure he’s going to do this. So what is the message? No matter if you analyse things and try to do things differently (like Hange), or if you just listen to your inner voice and then destroy everything just as it is (like Eren does), or serve your actual choice until exhaustion (like Levi).. it seems to end up the same, still the history (world or family) is repeating. Just wait for Levi slicing throats, losing his need for being all clean along with losing all personal dreams and becoming new Kenny. My hope for the end of SNK is that we get the answer for who did things right.. but more probably, I expect some depressing beginning of old circle. Oh how depressed I am :D

So I drew this to comfort myself..

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Torturing my own fandom, you know

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Guess my OTP ... *blushes*