aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
more of these ig
Faithful!au belongs to @buntsukim
(also there's cool rp accounts @faithfuldummy@faithfulcashier)
Faithful!Cashier: My expectations were low but holy fuck.
Faithful!Player: Hey, Faithful!Cashier, have you thought about having children?
Faithful!Cashier: ...
Faithful!Cashier: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.
Faithful!Player: But we're not childr-
Faithful!Cashier, already distracted: FAITHFUL!DUMMY, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!
Faithful!Dummy: Guys where did Faithful!Player go?
Faithful!Cashier: They got arrested.
Faithful!Dummy: How the hell-
Faithful!Player: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.
Faithful!Dummy: I hope they've calmed down...
Faithful!Player: Shut the fuck up you annoying ass pig.
Faithful!Dummy: Is there something you would like to say, Faithful!Player?
Faithful!Player: Oh, there are SEVERAL things I would like to say.
Faithful!Dummy: Why are you doing this?
Faithful!Cashier: Same reason I do everything, Faithful!Dummy. To get somebody to like me.
(lmao it's funny cuz he's unlikable)
Faithful!Cashier, holding a fork: You know your talking a lot of shit for someone who has 2 perfectly good eyeballs each cost about $16,000 on the blackmarket.
Faithful!Player: ....
Faithful!Cashier: *lip smack*
Faithful!Cashier: Did you wash the dishes?
Faithful!Player: I thought you wanted to do that...
Faithful!Cashier: *chuckles* You were WRONG.
Faithful!Player: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
Faithful!Cashier: I feel awful about killing you.
Faithful!Dummy:
Faithful!Cashier: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.
Faithful!Dummy: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?
Faithful!Player: Bleach.
Faithful!Cashier: Sewage.
Faithful!Dummy: ...Please calm down, edgelords.
Faithful!Player: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult.
Faithful!Cashier, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.
Faithful!Player: What does a winner do when life gives them lemons?
Faithful!Dummy: Um, make lemonade?
Faithful!Player: No, they squeeze them right back into life’s eyes!
Faithful!Dummy: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat.
Faithful!Cashier: I don’t usually eat with losers.
Faithful!Dummy: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?
Faithful!Player: I can't believe you've done this.....
Faithful!Dummy: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Faithful!Player, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
Faithful!Dummy: Well, Faithful!Cashier, is there anything you would like to say to Faithful!Player?
Faithful!Cashier: How do I put this delicately? You’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.
Faithful!Dummy: How about we frame our statement with “When you do this, it makes me feel this”?
Faithful!Cashier: When you live here, it makes me angry. Because you’re a horrible roommate and nobody likes you.
Faithful!Player: Faithful!Cashier, gather the others. We need to have another Faithful!Dummy-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-them-before-they-hurt-someone convention.
Faithful!Cashier: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Faithful!Player: But we lost Faithful!Dummy.
Faithful!Cashier: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
Faithful!Player: I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.
Faithful!Dummy: It’s funny how well you and Faithful!Cashier get along. Didn’t they hate you at first?
Faithful!Player: Faithful!Cashier hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.
Faithful!Player: And here we see Faithful!Dummy and Faithful!Cashier in their natural habitat. Texting eachother variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.
Faithful!Dummy: Gaelic bread.
Faithful!Cashier: Grueling brad.
Faithful!Dummy: Ha ha, glamorous beans.
*Faithful!Dummy is considering cancelling plans, and Faithful!Player and Faithful!Cashier are advising them on what to do*
Faithful!Player: Just don't go.
Faithful!Cashier: Say you’re ill!
Faithful!Player: Pretend to break your leg.
Faithful!Cashier: Really break your leg!
Faithful!Dummy: Here are two pictures. One of them is your bedroom, and the other is a garbage dumpster. Can you tell which is which?
Faithful!Player:
Faithful!Player: This one is the dumpster.
Faithful!Dummy: They’re both your bedroom.
Faithful!Cashier: *eating a cinnamon roll*
Faithful!Player: Cannibalism.
Faithful!Cashier: *confused chewing noises*
Faithful!Dummy: What is everyone for Halloween?
Faithful!Cashier: I’m superman.
Faithful!Player: A clown.
Faithful!Dummy: So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?
Faithful!Cashier: YOU CHEATED!
Faithful!Player: So did my dad, but hey, my mom knew it all and even sorted out their wedding, so what’s the problem?
Faithful!Dummy: I… can confirm that that actually happened.
Faithful!Cashier: …What.
Faithful!Player: When I met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Faithful!Cashier: What changed your mind?
Faithful!Player: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.
Faithful!Player, to Faithful!Dummy: You have room temperature IQ.
Faithful!Dummy: What's room temperature IQ?
Faithful!Cashier: 73°.
Faithful!Dummy: Oh, okay.
Faithful!Dummy: How much is that in IQ?
Faithful!Dummy: Did you have to stab them?
Faithful!Cashier: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.
Faithful!Dummy: What did they say?
Faithful!Cashier: "What are you going to do, stab me?"
Faithful!Dummy: That’s fair.
Faithful!Dummy: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Faithful!Cashier: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Faithful!Player: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
Faithful!Dummy: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test!
Faithful!Cashier: Ok, Faithful!Dummy, I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918?
Faithful!Dummy: 1917.
Faithful!Cashier: ...You're ready.