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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Claire Keane
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@katiechristinebee
1/29/2024
1/8/2024
I have bins full of ornaments that are attached to moments from the last four years. I have an extra stocking now, the one we picked out last year. I have red and green mugs that we used to make hot chocolate and cocktails in. I have decorations that were gifted from your mom, that I can’t get myself to put out this year.
I’m getting hit with an overwhelming amount of nostalgia, sadness, grief - something I wasn’t expecting to feel. It’s been four months of letting go of you and moving forward, four months of fresh air and relief.
You never helped me put the ornaments on the tree. You didn’t care which stocking was picked, you didn’t even want a new one to hang on the fireplace. You thought we had too many mugs already, and always asked why we needed Christmas ones. Your mom loved the holidays just as much as I did, but you never did.
You never did, and that broke my heart every year. The most wonderful time of the year.
Imagine this:
You’re traveling from coast-to-coast. You’re spending time with people who fill you up. You’re getting Mexican food and margaritas. You’re surrounding yourself with new people. You’re feeling overly fulfilled at work and you’re being valued as such. You’re confident. You’re not afraid to be yourself. You’re meeting people who make you feel acknowledged and heard. You’re happy.
You’re. So. Freaking. Happy. And the best part, you’re living that right now.
🍂˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚☕️
Cozy 🍁
I started writing again. Not because I should, but because I want to. But let’s be honest, I probably should. I find my life going by so slowly most days, then wake up the next day and a month has already passed by. I want things to slow down but I also can’t wait to get to the good parts, those milestone-important-parts, ya know? The days that make all other days seem so dull and mundane.
My hope is to find pure, genuine happiness in those small moments, too. Why rush somewhere, or into something, if it’ll be waiting for you? Enjoy the getting there moments, because they’re not always going to be there. Appreciate the boring days where you have nothing to do and you can take two naps on the couch. The days that fill-in between the highs and lows. Savor all interactions with loved ones, tell people you care for them, show them you love them in whatever way they will best understand and feel it. Those kind of days won’t be here forever.
I can’t wait to be spoiled. And not in the materialistic kind of way. The “I can’t wait to make you smile” kind of way, every single fucking day. It’s the simplest thing that is taken for granted but also the easiest things to get right. If you mess that up, sorry dude, but it’s game over.
hello september 🍂☕️
instagram: kate_ashbrook