Kay

A girl with books in her hand, noor in her eyes and faith in her heart trying to get through life and leave her mark somewhere behind✨. An angel on earth🖤

[kayaestics]

Hey/Assalamualaikum beautiful people :D

I'm gonna give y'all a quick introduction of the admin of this account aka me!

I am Kay, and no Kay is not my name. The alphabet ‘K’ is actually the initial of my name, so you all are gonna call me that :).

I am a high school student struggling to get through my academics just like everyone else.

I'm a desi by my ethnicity and by religion I am a practicing muslimah who is an ummati of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), alhamdulillah. (Yes, your admin is a sister XD)

I am also a part-time poet/writer and a full time clown and an amazing friend to those people who are nice and respectful :p

I'm just trying to get through this test called life to reach my ultimate goal that is Jannah while trying to make everyone around me happy and this world a lil better place to live in.

I hope this is enough to satisfy everyone's curiosity regarding my identity and no, I'm not going to entertain any further questions regarding who I am and where do I come from. This is all that I wish to share, hence this is all that y'all will get. :)

[alittlepassionfruit]

Thinking about JB and Jude lately…

JB, who was Jude’s first friend. JB, who carried Jude to the college hospital when he witnessed him having an episode in their dorm.

JB, who shouted and made a scene in that same hospital until a doctor finally saw Jude - and that doctor was Andy, the only physician Jude ever allowed to care for him for the rest of life.

JB, who helped Jude move into the apartment he shared with Willem on Lispenard St. JB, who brought along his friend Richard to help that day. Richard, who later sold Jude his beautiful apartment on Green Street that Jude loved so much. Richard, who secretly looked after him more than Jude ever imagined, who at one point saved his life, and at another point reminded him his birthday was worth celebrating, when Jude himself had forgotten and his world was bleak.

JB, who envied his life, his looks, his career, his relationship (even his limp!). JB, who saw him as competition, rather than someone to pity. JB, who thought he was beautiful, who thought killing something small and adorable was worth it if it meant looking like Jude.

JB, who brought him to parties, who showered him with laughter and provocations.

JB, who asked too many questions and wanted all the answers but got none of them. JB, who then asked Harold to back off from asking all the questions and wanting all the answers as well.

JB, who captured his life in galleries, on canvas, on film. The good and the bad.

JB, who’s art invaded and celebrated and decorated. JB, who’s art froze Willem in time for him.

JB, who was Jude’s last friend. JB, who Jude resented, who Jude hated, who Jude never forgave, who Jude wanted dead.

JB, who found him at last, who put away his suits, who handed out his letters.

JB, who outlived his friends, who was left alone, with his pictures, and his paintings, and his pain.

[julaibib]

Sometime Allah will attach your heart to something which won't be written for you, so you realize that not everything you love is good for you. Don't let your heart get too attached to this Dunya or the things in it, because at the end of the day, it's just you and Allah.

[mirayama]

“But I think one day I will,—tell somebody, one person, something—the truth, just once,—just to see how it feels.”

— Rosamond Lehmann, from Dusty Answer (via dearestvita)

[flickeredsilence]

Every once and awhile I am visited by the desire for a partner that could've been there for me as my dad got sick. Someone to share the brief moments of joy, and hold me as I lay crippled by the grief. But for some reason, I was meant to experience it all without leaning on the presence of a romantic partner. I feel guilty for feeling all this though because I did have my mom and a handful of friends that kept me going, but there's just an itch that they can't scratch. A level of comfort that only romantic intimacy can provide.

I had it in the first year of my dad's diagnosis, but that partner left because I wasn't able to hold up my end of the deal. After awhile, I became overridden with anxiety, depression, and later what I found out was the physical symptoms of caregiver burnout. I was constantly nauseous, fatigued, sad, and getting sick. My emotions were all over the place all the time. He of course wanted a partner he could go out and do stuff with, and unfortunately, that was not me anymore. I was stuck in a vortex of grief and exhaustion. I don't blame him for leaving, it all must've been very grim and draining to watch. He told me his friends could tell he was exhausted from it all. They could see it in his face. Knowing all of this and feeling the breakup coming on unfortunately did not prevent me from being absolutely devastated when it finally happened.

If I could tell him anything now, I'd tell him that I was thankful for the solace he tried his best to provide me. That I'm even grateful for the pain of the breakup because it drove me into the arms of my dad for one of the last times.

[thoughtkick]

“Lately I’ve been thinking about who I want to love, and how I want to love, and why I want to love the way I want to love, and what I need to learn to love that way, and who I need to become to become the kind of love I want to be…and when I break it all down, when I whittle it into a single breath, it essentially comes out like this: Before I die, I want to be somebody’s favorite hiding place, the place they can put everything they know they need to survive, every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe. I will keep it safe.”

— Andrea Gibson

[fromdarzaitoleeza]

{Words by Charles Bukowski/ Mary Oliver from invitation}

[fluffy-appa]

May Allah ﷻ grant us the ability to learn and love the Qur'an the way it deserves to be loved.

What a loss it would be to die without understanding the words of The Most High, may Allah never deprive us of it.

[kayaestics]

آمیـــــــــــــن

[akhtarjr]

If somebody hurts you, wrongs you, remember this ayah:

وَلَا يَظْلِمُ رَبُّكَ أَحَدًۭا

And your Lord does injustice to no one.{18:49}

[speck-ofdust]

If a heart becomes attached to anything other than Allah, Allah makes him dependent on what he is attached to. And he will be betrayed by it.❞

— Ibn Al-Qayyim (raḥimahullāh)

Ya Allāh ﷻ, please make me dependant on YOU only. You're my Rabb, my Lord, my Peace. Don't make me walk on any road that takes me farther away from you, leaving me all astray. Make me independent of everything. You, your love, your nearness, your promises suffice me.

[thythreshold]

Narrated AbuHurayrah:

I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: There were two men among Banu Isra'il, who were striving for the same goal. One of them would commit sin and the other would strive to do his best in the world. The man who exerted himself in worship continued to see the other in sin.

He would say: Refrain from it. One day he found him in sin and said to him: Refrain from it.

He said: Leave me alone with my Lord. Have you been sent as a watchman over me? He said: I swear by Allah, Allah will not forgive you, nor will he admit you to Paradise. Then their souls were taken back (by Allah), and they met together with the Lord of the worlds.

He (Allah) said to this man who had striven hard in worship; Had you knowledge about Me or had you power over that which I had in My hand? He said to the man who sinned: Go and enter Paradise by My mercy. He said about the other: Take him to Hell.

AbuHurayrah said: By Him in Whose hand my soul is, he spoke a word by which this world and the next world of his were destroyed.

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الصَّبَّاحِ بْنِ سُفْيَانَ، أَخْبَرَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ بْنِ عَمَّارٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنِي ضَمْضَمُ بْنُ جَوْسٍ، قَالَ قَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ ‏ "‏ كَانَ رَجُلاَنِ فِي بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ مُتَآخِيَيْنِ فَكَانَ أَحَدُهُمَا يُذْنِبُ وَالآخَرُ مُجْتَهِدٌ فِي الْعِبَادَةِ فَكَانَ لاَ يَزَالُ الْمُجْتَهِدُ يَرَى الآخَرَ عَلَى الذَّنْبِ فَيَقُولُ أَقْصِرْ ‏.‏ فَوَجَدَهُ يَوْمًا عَلَى ذَنْبٍ فَقَالَ لَهُ أَقْصِرْ فَقَالَ خَلِّنِي وَرَبِّي أَبُعِثْتَ عَلَىَّ رَقِيبًا فَقَالَ وَاللَّهِ لاَ يَغْفِرُ اللَّهُ لَكَ أَوْ لاَ يُدْخِلُكَ اللَّهُ الْجَنَّةَ ‏.‏ فَقُبِضَ أَرْوَاحُهُمَا فَاجْتَمَعَا عِنْدَ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ فَقَالَ لِهَذَا الْمُجْتَهِدِ أَكُنْتَ بِي عَالِمًا أَوْ كُنْتَ عَلَى مَا فِي يَدِي قَادِرًا وَقَالَ لِلْمُذْنِبِ اذْهَبْ فَادْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ بِرَحْمَتِي وَقَالَ لِلآخَرِ اذْهَبُوا بِهِ إِلَى النَّارِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو هُرَيْرَةَ وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بِيَدِهِ لَتَكَلَّمَ بِكَلِمَةٍ أَوْبَقَتْ دُنْيَاهُ وَآخِرَتَهُ ‏.‏

(Sunan Abi Dawud 4901)

[iamayeshaahmed]

Afiyah means well-being. Asking Allah for Afiyah means to be saved from Distress, Grief, Hardship, Test, and all pain and suffering in both this world and the hereafter. All of this is included in the short but beautiful dua:

“Allahumma inni As’ Aluka Al’Afiyah”

[zairawasim]

Some of the Salaf, if one of them intended to supplicate for himself; then he would supplicate for his Muslim brother with that supplication, because it is answered, and he attains the like of that.

— Imam an-Nawawi | Sharh Sahih Muslim, 17/51

[hanbali-muslim-blog]

“Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal [rahimahuAllaah] was asked: When does the slave of Allaah find rest? He said: With his first foot-step into Jannah.”

— May Allah make us among them! (via lightscameracapture)

[kayaestics]

“Zindagi me logo ko ek aadat zaroor seekh Leni chhaiye hai - jo cheez haath se nikal jaye use bhool jaane ki aadat. Ye aadat bhout si takleefo se bacha leti hai.”

- Amar Bail, Umera Ahmad

[kayaestics]

Umar Jahangir once said, “Tum bhout acchi ho, lekin mujhe tumse mohabbat nahi hai.”

📙 - Amar Bail

[kayaestics]

“Still, there is terrible desire to be loved.

Still, there is horror at being left behind.”

- Michael Cunningham, The hours