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crush by ethel cain ݁ᛪ༙ griddlehark

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Harrow wip thats eating me alive

i love her so much why does she have to suffer so much in the book i dont like this. She deserves so much, everything even.

thelockedtomb-archive

But I almost knew what you’d written already, so I don’t know why I was surprised.

ONE FLESH, ONE END.

WHICH DID NOT MAKE ME HAPPY, HARROW. IT DID NOT FILL MY HEART WITH SOFT AND SENTIMENTAL YEARNING. YOU SET ME UP. YOU SET ALL OF IT UP. I GAVE YOU ONE DAMN JOB. AND INSTEAD YOU ROLLED A ROCK OVER ME AND TURNED YOUR BACK. I SPENT ALL THAT TIME DROWNING AND SURFACING IN YOU, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND ALL BECAUSE IN THE END YOU COULD NOT BEAR TO DO THE ONE THING I ASKED YOU TO DO.

I WANTED YOU TO USE ME, YOU MALIGN, DOUBLE-CROSSING, CORPSE-OBSESSED BAG OF BONES, YOU BROKEN, USED-UP SHITHEAD! I WANTED YOU TO LIVE AND NOT DIE, YOU IMAGINARY-GIRLFRIEND-HAVING ASSHOLE! FUCK ONE FLESH, ONE END, HARROW. I ALREADY GAVE MY FLESH TO YOU, AND I ALREADY GAVE YOU MY END. I GAVE YOU MY SWORD. I GAVE YOU MYSELF. I DID IT WHILE KNOWING I’D DO IT ALL AGAIN, WITHOUT HESITATION, BECAUSE ALL I EVER WANTED YOU TO DO WAS EAT ME.

Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night.