aide-mémoire

A collection of paradoxes

[4mbivalent-deactivated20130424]

“You can forget that other people carry pieces of your own story around in their heads. I’ve always thought - put together all those random pieces form everyone who’s ever known you from your parents to the guy who once sat next to you on a bus, and you’d probably see a fuller version of your life than you even did while living it.”

Deb Caletti, Stay (via 4mbivalent)

[julie911-deactivated20140702]

All any of us wanted, really, was to know that we counted. That someone else’s life would not have been as rich without us here.

“Handle with Care” by Jodi Picoult (via julie911)

[wordsaretreasures]

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Mark Twain (via lustandmistrust)

[the-taintedtruth]

Maybe it won’t work out. But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.

(via unenergetic)

I actually love this It’s so comforting

(via u-nprecedented)

[thelovewhisperer]

He may still love you. He probably does. He probably doesn’t know what he wants. He probably still thinks about you all the time. But that isn’t what matters. What matters is what he’s doing about it, and what he’s doing about it is nothing. And if he’s doing nothing, you most certainly shouldn’t do anything. You need someone who goes out of their way to make it obvious that they want you in their life.

Quotes from The Love Whisperer (via thelovewhisperer) @kdtn (via xctlareblogs)

[quotestuff]

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis B. Smedes, Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve (via quotestuff)

[thelovejournals]

It’s not weak to stand by the person you love when they’re trying to fix a big mistake, and it’s not weak to decide to put yourself first.

Sylvia Day, Captivated by You (via thelovejournals)

[kdtn]

“It’s not home without you.” 

[kdtn]

A gentleman noticed two elderly women who seemed to be lost and said, "Excuse me ladies, can I be of any assistance to you today?" They were looking for a restaurant and he went on to ask them for their preferences and proceeded to point them in the correct direction before going about his business. Two students who were studying next to me asked me if I knew the person who had left their phone, with cards in its case, on the bench beside me. They found the owner's Cal ID in the case and decided to post it on the Berkeley student group so the owner could come claim his phone. Acts of kindness are a beautiful thing to witness, regardless the size of the gesture. Happy Sunday to you all.

[kdtn]

He rarely compliments my looks, directly that is. He makes me feel beautiful in his own ways: telling me that I’m really good at doing my makeup, making me go first so he can watch me, insisting on taking pictures of me wherever we go.

[aseaofquotes]

M. L. Stedman, The Light Between Oceans

[kdtn]

what is the key to success, katina. how does one make the butt firm like yours. and do you still hike really fast lol hope youre doing well in berkeley (✿◠‿◠)

I’m still figuring out the key to success, my dear, but it looks like DJ Khaled has it all figured out! You should ask him. Do your squats and other various leg/glute exercises very heavy and take your protein. I dunno, haven’t hiked in a while and would really like to soon so I’ll have to get back to you on that. Thanks Nicole <3 

[depressedfemme]

i hate how my mood completely depends on other peoples tiny actions i hate it i hate it i hate it so mu ch

[kdtn]

I like the way he texts me every day. It isn’t the endless conversation apparently associated with ‘texting every day’. Our conversations don’t even last a full hour and I do appreciate the fact that we don’t have to spend a good portion of our days devoted to texting one another. 

It’s more of a gesture, like “Hey, I thought about you today and want you to know that.” Wishing me a Merry Christmas, asking me how my day was, telling me how he’s at the first Starbucks in Japan, how seeing the lights makes him wish I was there too.  

I miss my sweet dude already. 

[acutelesbian]

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

[fat-thin-skinny]

this fucks me up every single time

[acutelesbian]

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

[kdtn]

Just one more day of class (finally decided to go to my Friday class bc hey why not, last class) and then comes dead week and finals. My first semester of college is coming to a close. I still feel as if I haven’t gotten the hang of college yet. I definitely have to work on my study habits. This semester has been a huge rollercoaster in my stress levels but I’ve been staying on top of it and my work and am actually doing a lot better in my classes than expected.

I regret not joining any clubs this semester but definitely going to next semester. I’m even considering pledging for a professional frat. I’ve met a bunch of great people, some whom I’ve grown very close to. I can’t begin to imagine the new connections and friendships that next semester could have in store for me. 

I went to my first rave and after that night and after Give Thanks, I could see why people were so hooked to the scene. These withdrawals are probably the largest ones I have ever experienced. 

I met a really sweet (and sort of dorky, it’s pretty fucking cute though) guy this semester as well and things just fell into place so easily and naturally. He’s very compassionate towards people, always thinking of others and putting them before himself. And I love how you can tell how passionate he is about the things he loves in the way he talks about his dragon boat team and photography. 

I’m happier. Happy to finally have someone who encourages me to try new things because he wants to help me find something i love like the way he loves his activities, to finally have someone who seems to enjoy spending time with me, to finally not having it be just about sex, to finally have someone who has ambitions and dreams bigger than the two of us combined, a hard worker. Did I also mention he lifts?

It’s been a long time since I’ve dated and I’m still working on some issues of my own and definitely came into this relationship with fears that have stuck with me since my last relationship. But it’s time to leave those in the past. I am not the same person I was before. This is an entirely new chapter. I’m curious and excited to see what’s in store for me. 

[anamorphosis-and-isolate]