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[nicoledollanganger]

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born a cop in uniform in black vinyl gloves i don’t hate you for your steel-toed boots or your handcuffs you are the way you always were you like your cruel games but i am not so quick to break i count my gain in blood & pain i like it when it hurts like hell there’s nothing you can do to me i wouldn’t do to myself i’ll be bound to you in leather & chains i’ll be your sister your young bride your daughter your slave

[nicoledollanganger]

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you’re so cool you’re so cool walking down the hall wild eyes they are black like the magic 8 ball you got guns for trophies mounted up like animal heads with the skulls of all the high school champs you keep in rows above the bed, you told me “when i’m good, i’m very good but when i’m bad, i’m better” i’m yours forever, i’m yours forever you’re so cool you’re so cool i’ll bet when you were born all the orange crush & ne-hi soda bottles in the world fizzed over they wanna break yr heart but it’s made of blood & tar you carry all that suffering like a gun between your arms you told me: “when i’m good, i’m very good but when i’m bad, i’m better” i’m yours forever, i’m yours forever & i see the future and there’s no death cuz you and i we’re angels

[nicoledollanganger]

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i kinda miss being able to post songs whenever i want to so i might just start throwing up things that never came to be, short ideas, demos etc you are an angel, you are so beautiful you know, i used to lie there and memorize the freckles on your cheeks when you’d sleep and i’d wish if i got close enough they’d rub off on me

[nicoledollanganger]

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testing out my new mic. i started singing this to kevin the other day and he looked at me like i had 2 heads. right now i really have a pain in my sawdust

[nicoledollanganger]

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[nicoledollanganger]

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i will always come to you when i’m weak and empty with my wedding night blues when i need you to fill me

[nicoledollanganger]

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i’m going to get married today the chapel is full of flowers and sage he’ll lift up my veil and he will say are you sure that you love me? are you sure you can wait?

he cuts into the wedding cake and licks the frosting off the blade he cuts into our palms drops our blood in the lake we stand on the bridge and give ourselves away

i can be good, i can be true you know i don’t love anyone but i love you

i’m going to get married today the chapel is full of crosses and bouquets we pray to the wax bride and her violet varicose veins kiss me with forever where only death remains

i’m going to get married today so please don’t touch me please stay away i know i’m not good i’ve never been true but you know that i love him and i don’t love you

[nicoledollanganger]

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i’ve been home all day my husband’s gone they all say he’s got a girl on the side while i stay home all day

so i make lemonade, put on a dress and i go lay out in the day room and i wait for you to come on over and give it to me in the backyard full of dying flowers in the kitchen on the pale pink counter give you a lap dance outside in a lawn chair drinking lemonade and playing with my hair

i’ve been home all day my husband’s gone don’t need to worry take you upstairs to the swan bed let you fuck me hard as you can

the next time he kisses me i want him to taste red ruby lips and the love we made and the lemonade so come on over and give it to me

[nicoledollanganger]

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one day we’re gonna be in a motel room by the sea / over the boardwalk where the pretty girls eat hot dogs and soft ice cream/ i’ll hear the roller coasters screaming your name into the night / in a land of upside down rides and christmas lights strung up in summertime from the window the pink and blue electric signs / they’ll glow down on us like a cotton candy moon on the 4th of July / you’ll look at me with those green coke bottle eyes / i’ve fallen in love with you in every past life one day we’re gonna be in a motel room by the sea / by the carousel horses painted pink with game tents where clowns sing / you’re like the prize at the carnival i’ve wanted since i was a little girl / like the teddy bear with the bow round his neck / like the sweetest candy apple

[nicoledollanganger]

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maybe later i will think of a cool title there is dust inside you settling like snow i try to catch it with my tongue when you run your lips along my throat there are hand prints on your throat parts of you are shutting down like street lights burning out but i have always felt safest with you in the dark i know you are nothing like him so delicate, hands show such control we both know you could hurt me but you don’t i know you would rather die than grow into his clothes

[nicoledollanganger]

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my song bunny boy. you can download it here shotgunned cans like flowers drink yourself to death watch you fall asleep alone pissing the bed lock me up inside you where everything dies haunting me like a ghost that’s never known a body you can’t have mine you’d cut off your nose just to spite your face just to serve it to me on a silver tray shoot yourself in the head just to spray the guts on your baby portraits flowerbeds and altars made out of bottles and vomit no i don’t love you anymore

[nicoledollanganger]

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another one from my babyland ep called freaks forever

torture porn inside your head, tie me up, keep me in your bed room. the christians screaming to us through your tv, they don’t save me, they don’t save you. i want to be pretty but i don’t want to be clean. your step-dad put you in a chair, tied you up and he beat you there and you drowned like the girls at the lake in the summer where we swam together

[nicoledollanganger]

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i posted this before and then deleted but here it is again. really small ep called babyland made from the recordings brad made on his phone and sent to me for keeps. was gonna re-record all my vocals because they were written and recorded in the span of an hour but decided to just edit the tracks a little instead and let it be what it is. the ep is here if you’d like to download it!

[nicoledollanganger]

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one of the other songs on observatory mansions i never posted! full album here and lyrics here:

all the pets i’ve buried just wanted me to know sometimes it’s ok to let a good thing go wrap you in yarn and grass embalm you with milk lay you to rest in cardboard lined with silk wild fires have been eating you inside of my head trying to smoke you out or burn you alive in it this time please just stay dead this living room memorial doesn’t bear a name i guess i can’t blame you but i hate you all the same i wear your homemade tattoos all over my skin you put your cigarettes out on me they’re still sinking in

[nicoledollanganger]

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last song i will post before i put up the whole album here. it was recorded in 1 take so it’s awkward but i think it would’ve been an awkward song regardless. lyrics below: my bedroom smells like rotten food and i guess so do i it’s harder to be good in here than it is to starve and die i’d give my body to satan if i could only keep my soul but i can’t seem to find the split between them anymore my hair is falling out again and i don’t really care i try to stir my conscience it was never really there your fingers up inside of me feel like fingers down my throat everything is fine in heaven but i’ll never get to know make sacrifice in bathtubs and stained bed covers soak all of my clothes in holy water and drown them like a crying son drown them like a crying daughter praying in the night to the angels of porn nails in their wrists, knees on the floor great lakes full of cum extracted from everyone

[nicoledollanganger]

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this was the first song i wrote out of all the songs on observatory mansions. actually the crappy acoustic version that preceded it was meant to be on my ode to dawn wiener album. lyrics below: i hear him screaming like late night white trash TV stations black combat boots pacing in through the school building he’s gonna fight the good fight, the noble war yeah my baby has a baby but it’s not me it’s an AK47 semi-automatic gun and he loves her more than he loves me gunslinger, black duster, delusions of a western he wears his hat on backwards, sets fire to his locker i’ll bet you’ve never seen the smile of savage-springfield 67H with his blurry face and cracked voice gone through VHS tapes