KENDRA VS. THE VOLCANO

Do not try this at home. I am not a professional.

[kendravsthevolcano]

If you ask me to send you a test fax you'd better believe you're getting porn

[kendravsthevolcano]

I wonder if the people on the subway who smell like salami know they smell like salami

[kendravsthevolcano]

Makin' and doin' for a big parcel swap. One lucky stranger in the UK is going to be the recipient of fancy tubes full of goodies and a triceratops made out of tape.

[kendravsthevolcano]

It’s embarrassing how many times I thought to myself, “Oh wow this glue stick glides on so easily for being so old” and “I’m so glad I keep all my art supplies together in one spot” and “That’s weird, glue stick shouldn’t seep through the paper” before I realized it was sunscreen. Just wow.

[kendravsthevolcano]

Long stopovers are the perfect opportunity to hang out and have airport beers with coworkers from abroad that you haven't seen in about eight years.

[kendravsthevolcano]

According to the fruit cup that has been in my desk for 46 weeks, blueberries are much less susceptible to decomposition than raspberries.

[kendravsthevolcano]

We spent three hours in the pool drinking wine and learning how to do backwards dives

- the wrong way to answer your mom when she how you made out in the giant electrical storm

[kendravsthevolcano]

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

[kendravsthevolcano]

There's nothing worse than being hungover and realizing you don't have a microwave

[travalicious]

[kendravsthevolcano]

This is my family in 2005. I keep this uncomfortable picture on the bulletin board in my office not because it's a nice picture but to remind me what a hilarious debacle having a family photo done was. My dad is cursing under his moustache because he hates smiling. My mom is cursing because no one is taking it seriously. My brother and I are in hysterics because the photographer is trying to use puppets to get dad to smile. My brother has dad's glasses from 1987 in his pocket and puts them on without anyone noticing. Mom's mad we can't have a barefoot photo because my feet are covered in bloody cuts from new flip flops. Makes me laugh every time. Puppets though, puppets.

[chopsueylou-deactivated20160426]

laughing so hard because this is so accurate

[dcaseyjones]

Oh my god EVERY ONE OF THESE

[kendravsthevolcano]

Getting accused by your mother of selling drugs over the internet because you spend so much time on msn when really it's because you live in the boonies and it's the only thing you have to do in the world. ...oh wait, that was just me? (Yes mom, I'm scanning the drugs and emailing them to people)

[kendravsthevolcano]

A good photo should always accompany the email invitation to the interoffice pool party

[kendravsthevolcano]

Hotel hacks with Kendra: heating up soup. No kettle or microwave in your room? No problem. Just put your soup in the shower, turn the water temperature up as high as it will go and let it sit for awhile. Sure it's a waste of water but it's a lot easier than pouring it into a wine glass and trying to heat it with the blow dryer as originally planned.

[kendravsthevolcano]

Your grandmother would laminate a dick if she could

-my mom on where she thinks my laminating obsession comes from

[kendravsthevolcano]

Adding 'WTF' at the end of any google image search leads to some quality results.

This game does not disappoint.

[kendravsthevolcano]

Morning office mojitos are the best mojitos